"Toupées" w/ Josh Gondelman

Summary

Episode Summary: "Toupees" featuring Josh Gondelman on StraightioLab

Release Date: August 12, 2025

---

Introduction

In the "Toupees" episode of StraightioLab, hosts George Taveras and Sam Taggart engage with comedian Josh Gondelman to dissect and humorously analyze the role of toupees within straight culture. The episode delves into societal expectations surrounding male appearance, the cultural implications of using toupees, and broader discussions on beauty standards and masculinity.

---

Recap of Recent Incidents ([07:00] - [08:42])

The episode begins with the hosts addressing a recent mishap where incorrect show timings were published, causing confusion among attendees. George humorously recounts the incident, taking accountability while also playfully shifting some blame. This lighthearted start sets the tone for the episode's blend of humor and candid conversation.

---

Guest Introduction and Initial Banter ([08:42] - [23:15])

Josh Gondelman joins the hosts via an iPad-based format due to their busy tour schedule. The conversation kicks off with personal anecdotes, including Ryan's admission of being red-green color deficient. This segment establishes the relaxed and comedic rapport among the hosts and guest, laying the foundation for deeper discussions.

Notable Quote:

“I'm color deficient. You know this. Shade.” — Ryan Seacrest [09:19]

---

Comedy Principles and Positive Reinforcement ([23:15] - [38:15])

The discussion transitions to the fundamentals of comedy, contrasting positive and negative reviews. Josh introduces the concept of "one ball criticism," where critics focus on singular flaws rather than appreciating the overall value of a work. George and Ryan contribute by highlighting the challenges in forming genuine positive assessments compared to the ease of finding something to critique.

Notable Quote:

“I feel like a good critic won't pick the one ball to criticize you. They will actually pick something negative about you that is emblematic of your larger feelings.” — Josh Gondelman [40:12]

---

Main Topic: Toupees and Masculinity ([38:15] - [72:56])

The core of the episode centers on toupees and their symbolic significance in straight culture. George posits that toupees epitomize "the straight male ethos," reflecting societal pressures on men to appear "good enough" and impress potential partners despite natural hair loss. He elaborates:

Notable Quote:

“But a toupee always looks bad every single time. It is like the straight. And this is an ethos that I, as a straight man, have the straight male ethos of fucking good enough.” — George Taveras [55:04]

Josh builds on this by comparing toupee usage to "looks maxing" and exploring insecurities similar to height suppression. The conversation delves into how toupees represent a gamified approach to attractiveness, where men feel compelled to enhance their looks to navigate social and romantic landscapes.

Key Points:

• Toupees vs. Wigs: Toupees are distinguished from wigs as they often appear unnatural and are associated with shame, whereas wigs can be a form of self-expression, especially within queer cultures.
• Looks Maximization: The societal pressure on men to maintain a certain appearance leads to practices like toupee usage, reflecting broader themes of masculinity and self-worth.
• Economic and Class Factors: Discussions highlight the economic aspects behind toupee use versus medical hair restoration solutions, pointing out a class divide where toupees are a quick fix, often viewed with embarrassment.

---

Gen Z Toupee Trend and Social Media ([72:56] - [85:00])

The hosts analyze a purported Gen Z TikTok trend showcasing toupees, questioning the authenticity of these videos. They suggest that the elaborate maintenance depicted is likely staged, highlighting unrealistic beauty standards perpetuated by social media.

Notable Quote:

“I quite simply think all of that is fake… like, it's one of those classic, like, fake trends.” — Josh Gondelman [66:52]

George adds that the trope of young men appearing effortlessly stylish is misleading, emphasizing the disparity between online portrayals and real-life maintenance challenges.

---

Fashion Feedback App Idea ([85:00] - [95:20])

In a creative tangent, the conversation shifts to brainstorming an app that connects individuals with fashion experts for real-time outfit feedback. This idea emerges from frustration with people being reluctant to give honest opinions in social settings, leading to unintentional fashion mishaps.

Key Points:

• App Concept: Users upload photos of their outfits and receive feedback from fashion experts, blending stylist services with therapeutic support.
• Economic Viability: The app could provide income opportunities for fashion students and underemployed professionals, offering a unique side hustle.

Notable Quote:

“It was like a combination stylist and therapist.” — Ryan Seacrest [76:09]

---

Final Segment: Shout Outs ([82:07] - [90:47])

The episode concludes with the "Shout Outs" segment, where hosts and guests pay homage to people, shows, and cultural phenomena. George commends Josh's solo show, Can I Beat Frank?, praising its unexpected humor and quality. Ryan gives a nod to The Naked Gun movie, while Josh humorously suggests the idea of critiquing Oprah Winfrey's cultural impact posthumously.

Notable Quotes:

“If someone were to just listen to album after album and have never opened a newspaper or know what happened, they'd be like, that's the same artist.” — Josh Gondelman [51:55]

“But thank you for saying that. And I think at my best, maybe I am.” — Josh Gondelman [31:33]

---

Insights and Conclusions

The "Toupees" episode adeptly combines humor with meaningful commentary on societal norms regarding male appearance and the pressures inherent in straight culture. Through engaging dialogue and the dynamic interplay between hosts and guest Josh Gondelman, the podcast offers a thoughtful yet amusing exploration of how something as seemingly trivial as a toupee reflects deeper cultural values and insecurities.

Overall Verdict: The episode serves as both entertainment and a mirror to societal expectations, encouraging listeners to reflect on their perceptions and the broader narratives surrounding masculinity and appearance.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. “But a toupee always looks bad every single time. It is like the straight… ethos that I, as a straight man, have the straight male ethos of fucking good enough.” — George Taveras [55:04]

2. “I think colors are tough for me. I am color deficient… I don't trust that I know what shade something is.” — Ryan Seacrest [09:19]

3. “I feel like a good critic won't pick the one ball to criticize you. They will actually pick something negative about you that is emblematic of your larger feelings.” — Josh Gondelman [40:12]

4. “I quite simply think all of that is fake… like, it's one of those classic, like, fake trends.” — Josh Gondelman [66:52]

5. “It was like a combination stylist and therapist.” — Ryan Seacrest [76:09]

6. “If someone were to just listen to album after album and have never opened a newspaper or know what happened, they'd be like, that's the same artist.” — Josh Gondelman [51:55]

---

Final Thoughts

"Toupees" is a standout episode that successfully marries humor with insightful cultural critique. The candid and witty exchanges provide both laughs and food for thought, making it a valuable listen for anyone interested in the nuanced dynamics of straight culture and societal beauty standards.

Transcript

[George Taveras]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS, with playoff elimination on the line, the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs, and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three, and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[Josh Gondelman]

You can make a difference in someone's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Life, including your own, with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, health care.

[Josh Gondelman]

Retirement options and free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the old Gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the Old Gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare. Hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to sex, love, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. So check out Silver Linings, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now. I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial.

[George Taveras]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Josh Gondelman]

Of $45 for a three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com Foreign hello listeners, this is George. I'm reporting to you live from a closet in my bedroom in a fire island house. And I just had to get on Mike to say that between this episode and next episode there will be four live shows. We're going to Philly, dc, Boston and Toronto. And they are literally all about to sell out. I am seeing two more tickets in Philly, 12 more tickets in Boston. I don't have the other numbers in front of me, but I promise they are dire and we would love to see all of you there. We would love to sell these shows out. We've been having such a good time on tour and we can't wait to see you. So if you want to buy tickets, please go to linktree.com Stradolab and again in the next week, we're going to Philly, dc, Boston, and Toronto. See you soon and enjoy the episode.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Podcast starts now. What is up, everyone around the globe? You are listening to Stradiolab and I am readjusting as I speak.

[George Taveras]

Wow. Wow.

[Josh Gondelman]

How's it going over there, chica?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God. It's amazing to be back in Los Angeles, California.

[Josh Gondelman]

I want to say something amazing about this month is that we are on tour and constantly traveling to cities together and then going to separate cities to record our podcast. So we are constantly, quite literally constantly in planes, trains, venues together. And then we say, okay, time to do the thing where we have a conversation. Let's make it as inconvenient for everyone as possible by going to opposite coasts and having a sort of kind of tangled web of cables, iPads, and cameras on two different studios and then also ignoring guest that is sitting next to us in one of the two cities.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's been very, very complex, of course, to be doing this. And speaking of what an amazing point, George, please come see us on tour, where we will be in the same room, actually, which is so groundbreaking.

[Josh Gondelman]

Same room and often on the same.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Stage, but not the whole time, because we're doing stand up.

[Josh Gondelman]

I have to say we should maybe very briefly check in after our first show. This is the first time we've ever done a standup show together. This is not. Pretty much we're against podcasting as an art form, and we're only doing it for the money, which is a lot. And so when. So now, when we're going live, we're not even doing a slideshow. We're going back to basics. I'm actually. I have never fetishized stand up more in my life.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm glad. I mean, I have to be honest to the listeners. And you said, should we do a slideshow? And I said, I really think we need to set the audience up to be ready for us to be as raw and real as possible. If we give them a slideshow up top, they're gonna be expect bells and whistles throughout.

[Josh Gondelman]

I also wanted to say, you know, people forget doing a slideshow used to be really looked down upon. Like, if you were a comic, like, at the Cellar or whatever. And you saw someone do a slideshow, you'd be like, what the fuck is this? Like this. You are literally taking a shortcut. And I used to feel that way as well, because of course, I came up in Boston, one of the most traditional scenes you can come up in. And then, of course, I went to Brooklyn, and suddenly people were doing characters, wigs, costumes, slideshows, videos, even brief reading tweets out loud was, at some point, no longer a bad thing to do. But I'm saying we're going back to 2012.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think the edgy thing now is to have your notebook on stage.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, 100%.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think it's edgy to be like, God, it's just fucking me and my thoughts.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And so that's basically what we're doing. At one point, just to be clear for anyone wondering what to expect on this tour, at one point, we were both on stage with individual notebooks. So we're having a conversation while looking at our notebooks. And when I tell you, people were laughing the whole time. Sorry. Would they have been laughing if I didn't have my notebook? I don't know. Maybe I would have cracked under the pressure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm not sure. I do also want to say, do we want to talk about the incident here?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, well, I do want to bring in our guest. Okay. Do you want to sort of introduce the incident and then bring in our guest?

[Ryan Seacrest]

So we had an amazing incident where, as many people know, we are a trusted news source. To some, we actually did post a video with the wrong information about our show and then reposted it as many times as we possibly could. So we had wrong start time.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. So we said the show started at 8, and in fact, it started at 7:15. And so what happened was some people actually went off of the information in the video and not on the website where they bought the tickets, which, not to victim blame is an insane thing to do. But obviously, we take full accountability while also blaming the other people. And sometimes you can do that. Sometimes it can be both. You can take accountability and also be like, guys, come on.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it's like, I am sorry that you're weird. Like, I think that's sort of a weird way to.

[George Taveras]

Sorry.

[Josh Gondelman]

The way that you made your plans on your calendar is by replaying the video and being like, what time did they say? Instead of looking at the email that said, what time the show? And again, I take full accountability. And it was literally my. And I specifically, it's not Sam. I put it there. Because I actually confused it with a different show I had in New York and I put APM there. But I'm assuming people have media literacy and are going to fact check.

[Ryan Seacrest]

8Pm is a placeholder for time at Showtime.

[George Taveras]

The show starts at Showtime, by the way.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know what isn't a Showtime. And I say this with all my love to our Chicago venue, 7:15. 7:15.

[Ryan Seacrest]

See, I think that's such a good point. If I see the words show starts at 7:15, I read that and I say they mean eight.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like they mean eight and it says arrive at like 7:30.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's how I would read that.

[Josh Gondelman]

So just to repeat, we do take full accountability.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's just not our fault.

[Josh Gondelman]

But also, the show was sort of at 8 in the sense that it ended up starting at 7:30.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. So that was pretty crazy.

[Josh Gondelman]

I do think we need to bring in our guest.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think that's an amazing idea.

[Josh Gondelman]

Now our guest, you know, this is sort of an og. This is someone we had on in a very early like pandemic zoom episode that is actually illegal to re listen to because we can't ever know what our behavior and even our political views were like at the time. But we are so excited to have him back in studio in the most amazing sort of iPad based format. IPad based recording format. Please give it up for Josh Gondelman.

[George Taveras]

Thank you so much for having me here. It's such a pleasure to return to be in person with you, George, and to gaze upon you, Sam, on an iPad. We're watching like you're dead. And you've left us a message to like, tell us how to proceed with your estate.

[Ryan Seacrest]

There's even something about my outfit today that's giving like, I'm trying to look clean for the video, but not like, too formal to imply death.

[Josh Gondelman]

Are you wearing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I was happy.

[Josh Gondelman]

Are you wearing a. Would you call that a butter yellow polo?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm getting nods in the studio that it is in fact butter yellow.

[Josh Gondelman]

And despite the nods, you were so confused when asked.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, colors are tough for me.

[Josh Gondelman]

Really?

[George Taveras]

You don't think colors should also be foods?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't think colors should be foods. First of all, let's start here. I'm color deficient. You know this. So shade.

[Josh Gondelman]

I actually didn't know that you didn't know this. Have you bonded red green? Have you bonded with Matt about this?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, we get him on the phone.

[George Taveras]

We haven't bonded over this yet.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm red green, color deficient, which doesn't affect much but the certain shades, I never trust that I know what shade something is.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, that's. Sorry. I'm actually having a really difficult time processing the fact that I didn't know that, despite the fact that I've probably spoken to you more than any other person on this planet.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I can see colors. I can see a lot of colors.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, thank God. So you're not like a dog.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm not a dog or a baby.

[George Taveras]

Or a colorblind at all.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Colorblind at all. But certain shades, I don't trust myself.

[Josh Gondelman]

So if I were to tell you what color is your shirt, without having heard me already correctly say, it's butter yellow, what would your mind go to?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would have said yellow.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, that's what I mean. Like, I would have rounded up. Like, it's when people try to get too specific with it, where I'm like, well, I'm not. I don't know about all this butter and yellow.

[Josh Gondelman]

If I were to tell you, is it dark yellow or light yellow, would you be able to say light yellow?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay.

[George Taveras]

Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

So, Josh, I want to say something, which is the day that we. The day that we started the process of booking on this podcast. I said, can't wait to have Josh on. He's promoting a new special. Like, I'm so excited to help out a fellow friend and, of course, Boston comedian. I said, you know, he's going to need all the help he can get. Then I turn on the television, and Gayle King is interviewing.

[George Taveras]

That's it.

[Josh Gondelman]

And so what's the deal with that?

[George Taveras]

If I had known that it would have been a conflict, I would have told her.

[Josh Gondelman]

Now.

[George Taveras]

I would have been like, gail, sorry, we can't talk. I gotta go on.

[Josh Gondelman]

Straight away of her going to space, sponsored by Amazon.

[George Taveras]

Just her. The others, I don't think should have gone, including the real astronauts.

[Josh Gondelman]

I actually agree. I think if it had just been Gale, it would not have been that controversial.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. I think Katy Perry's singing really kept it in the news. Was she singing what a Wonderful World?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. And she also brought a daisy with her, which is her favorite flower in the name of her daughter. And she debuted the set list of her tour.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, she just held it up out the window.

[Josh Gondelman]

Literally. Yes.

[George Taveras]

Anybody from another planet wants to come see me on tour.

[Josh Gondelman]

She's like, I need. The ticket sales are not good, y'. All. Like, I need. If any Martians or aliens are out there, I will be at in Arizona on August 15th.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Josh, why were you being interviewed by.

[George Taveras]

Gail they brought me on to talk about the special, which was very funny. Gayle backstage was extremely lovely and very engaged. But she kept asking me which of the jokes were true. She kept being like, this joke. Loved it. Is that true? And I was like. And she'd be like, I like this one. Is that one true? And I'd be like, huh? And she'd go like, huh? And then she said, this was so funny. And I don't know if she says this to every guest or just me. She goes, she came over to talk to me in the middle of the taping before my segment, and they're kind of pulling her. Yeah, we gotta get you back to set. And she's gone. Okay, okay. And then she goes, josh, thank you so much for being here. We're having. This will be so fun. We're having a great show. Don't fuck it up.

[Josh Gondelman]

Really?

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, wow.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

I could tell she has some edge, which I love.

[George Taveras]

That always makes me feel. That might be the Boston.

[Josh Gondelman]

She did that also because you're a comedian, I feel like.

[George Taveras]

I think that's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. She probably does that to, no offense. All comedians.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, all comedians. No serious people.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

She's not doing that to Malala. Although that would be, honestly, really funny if Gayle King.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I have to. My big question is, how RuPaul inspired is that? Like, was she like, oh, I'm gonna start doing that.

[George Taveras]

Right. Cause that's part of the show. But not for Gayle King.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And she also said, I believe. Gentlemen, start your engines. And may the best woman win. Is that correct?

[George Taveras]

And I was like, I don't stand a chance in this interview.

[Josh Gondelman]

Who were the other guests? The day you were on?

[George Taveras]

There was an. I don't remember because you're never, like, together. I didn't even meet them. One was, like, an author of a romance novel.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. And I, like, really? They kept me on for, like, another digital only segment where I was just really. I was just shouting, like, unionize the robots. And, like, all sorts of like.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, let's hope Bezos was listening.

[George Taveras]

I hope so.

[Josh Gondelman]

Gail, get the message across.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. Get it to Jeff Space Guy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Were any of your jokes a lie?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

I changed.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, was she right about any of them?

[George Taveras]

I changed the nickname. She wasn't saying. She wasn't, like, grilling me. She wasn't like, this isn't true, is it, you piece of shit.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She's like, I was there. I was at the airport two weeks ago.

[George Taveras]

The plane took off on time. Nobody said anything weird over the speakers. She asked me about one story where it was about somebody that I know, and I said I changed their nickname so that it's not. So that it wouldn't be as identifiable. And she said, what was the real nickname? And I told them and it's kind of like a gross. I can't say it because I can't identify the term, but it's kind of a gross sexual thing. And she goes, I don't know what that means. And I said, gayle King, I will not tell you what that means. I will send you an Urban Dictionary link later. And then she was like, I'll ask Vlad, he'll tell me.

[Josh Gondelman]

I did, unfortunately, early on in my comedy career, have to explain to my parents what Eiffel Towering was because I used to have a joke that like referenced it in passing. Sure. So that was amazing.

[George Taveras]

It is so funny too, because at that point they've already not thought the joke was funny because they didn't get the reference. And now you're like, well, I have to explain the joke and like a sexual thing that. I don't want to break this news to you.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I just looked at Sam. I was like, all right, your turn.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's like, I'm. I'm just wondering, like, did they just like not have a phrase for it back then or.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, you mean Eiffel Towering.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Where they just not do it when.

[George Taveras]

My parents were like a. Back to the. We have to go back in time and explain Eiffel Towering to your mind.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm really. I love the idea that the issue is that the term is new.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. It's like, you know, it's sort of like Riz or something. Like we always have a word for cool or charm.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, I see.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, so they had something. It was something old timey for when they would have an Eiffel Tower.

[George Taveras]

Right. Where they would call it like two gentlemen salute.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, exactly. I feel like the idea of Eiffel Towering in that term is misogynistic in this specifically, like 2000s kind of way.

[George Taveras]

It feels like when we were growing up and people were just. Because I feel. Dang. That's a real phenomenon. Yeah. Three people have sex at one time.

[Josh Gondelman]

Sure.

[George Taveras]

But like there was so much stuff that they would just be like, oh, it was like a donkey punch. It was like, yes. Sweet chin music. And you're like, that's a sex thing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We were trying to gamify it in a way that I think everyone was like, obviously it was all projection, but I hated that era of, like, coming up with things and then retroactively trying to make them make sense. Basically, they were like, this is a funny two words. And then they were like. And it's when you pull on someone's hair underwater and eating a skittle.

[George Taveras]

A wet Barbara.

[Josh Gondelman]

I actually would go so far as to say naming sexual positions is a very straight thing. Like, the idea of, like, what's your, like, reverse cowgirl? Cowgirl, doggy. I don't. Do you feel, Sam. Gay even? Like, even gay sex terms, like, the idea of scissoring is like a fantasy that straight men came up with regardless of whether it's done or not, which. Which, you know, it is in some cultures. But, like, the idea. It's like a guy was like, scissoring. Like, they're like scissors.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Total.

[George Taveras]

Totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I find it complicated because you do need a phrase, like, a quick way to be like, I think it'd be easier if you were on all fours and I was behind you. But, like, I don't want to say.

[George Taveras]

You just have a diagram. Like, it's IKEA furniture.

[Josh Gondelman]

I guess the Kama Sutra is qu.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, I just think the word like, doggy as, like, ugh. We need to. We need. We need your parents phrases for these things, you know, I think doggy is.

[Josh Gondelman]

My parents phrases, though. No.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Doggy to me is Gen X.

[George Taveras]

That's a classic. That one's old school.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, no, doggy is like 90s. Doggy is like. That's probably a joke in, like, the Wedding Singer.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, well, then we need a new word for doggy.

[Josh Gondelman]

I just think it's. First of all, it de. Eroticizes sex so much. Like to say something like reverse cowgirl.

[George Taveras]

Where it's like, oh, I didn't know we were doing livestock.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, right, Exactly.

[George Taveras]

Do you realize you're herding cattle here?

[Josh Gondelman]

And then it's like, I'm a horse.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, see, I almost disagree. I think the issue is it's not, like, clinical enough. I want to be like, go to 2C.

[George Taveras]

Like chess. You want it to feel like chess?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, because I want to just be like, okay, now we're doing Star 4A. And then everyone knows.

[Josh Gondelman]

But don't you think that's, to use your term, sex nerd coded? Sex nerd is when people are nerds about sex.

[George Taveras]

I've heard from them about it. It is one of the worst words. They were talking about it. Yeah. One of the worst terms.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, it could be sex nerd. The thing with A sex nerd. I think the full theory on sex nerd, it's not just that they're a nerd about sex, is that they are. Like, there's a gleefulness in talking about sex in a scientific, clinical way.

[George Taveras]

I also think sex nerds, everything is play to a sex nerd.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's true.

[Josh Gondelman]

They wouldn't do 2C star 65 cuz they're. It would. Everything would have a term that's like taking something sexy and making it unsexy. Yeah, it would be like, we're doing puppy bear play.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, totally, totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

And they say it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They'd say the silly thing with the clinical voice. They'd be like, would you be interested in doing puppy bear play?

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, yeah, totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And like, that's where it gets gross. That's where it gets sex nerd.

[George Taveras]

Oh, that's such a funny diagnosis of the clinical voice and the whimsical thing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, God, no, it's absolutely. Well, it's literally like Google Calendar alert for play 7 to 8pm and then we're watching Billions.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, I'm sorry to be gross. Can I be gross for a second?

[Josh Gondelman]

I mean, please.

[Ryan Seacrest]

One time this guy was like, are you a cocksucker? And I was like, what do you mean? Like, he knows I'm a. We're gay guys, we're talking and he's like, oh, oh, are you a cocksucker? And it's like, you mean in the normal way? Like, and it was so.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or is it an identity I'm not familiar with?

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's a sex identity that it's like, oh, no, I actually consider myself a cocksucker. And like, sort of what I do is I go into these spaces and I suck cock. And I was like, yeah, but that's everybody to an extent. Like, I sort of like, why limit yourself? Like, why not just dream, like go into a space and be like, what will this space provide me? Okay, I know I have an improviser's sensibility with a lot of things.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, no, but this is, this is. You're actually so right. And this is literally a symptom of like Grindr culture. It is a symptom of like, here's what I'm offering, here's what you can offer. Let's make it work. Oh, that doesn't match. I'm going to the next person. Like none of the, you know, in old fashioned cruising there was a joie de vivre. You would like, sort of would like see what you could get and like make the most of it and it.

[George Taveras]

Feels like there are people who are interested in different things at different times. Yes. But like, that one feels so standard. It's almost like he was like, hey, do you fuck. Are you interested in sexual intercourse? Yeah, I guess. I think that's. I thought that was the whole thing we were doing here.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right. It also then almost like. What's the word? Makes complicated. Something that's very routine. So someone would be like, I'm actually into first making out, then doing foreplay and then potentially penetration. And you're like, right. So what they would do in, like, a movie. Like, what they would do in a sort of like, standard porn.

[George Taveras]

Are you right? They've gone so far around with, like, codifying sex.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

They've reinvented first base.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Literally, they'll be.

[Josh Gondelman]

Maybe we could start with cuddling. It's like, yeah, I was planning on doing that.

[George Taveras]

Do you have people that just go 0 to 80?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well. Well, yes, to answer your question.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, yes. No, they do. They're doing it.

[George Taveras]

That's fair.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, that was weird. I'm glad we talked about that.

[Josh Gondelman]

I guess it's sort of like the intimacy coordinator vacation of all. Whoa, whoa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's so good. That's really good.

[Josh Gondelman]

I mean. And of course, it's a slippery slope. I don't want to be against intimacy coordinators, but, you know, take a plunge.

[George Taveras]

Be more like the cast of Anora on the set of Anora.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Maybe you could win an awesome people this. Yes. Yeah, it's. It also, it, like, makes you have, like, the identification of, like, cocksucker, then makes people who are normal, like, who just suck dick. It's like, oh, well, you don't count. And I was like, well, it still counts. It's like, no, you have. It's like, where's your degree? Like, there was something like, I hate it. Whatever.

[George Taveras]

Like a merit badgification.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, exactly.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. Wow.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it also cuts off future possibilities.

[George Taveras]

Right.

[Josh Gondelman]

If it's identity based, it's like, actually, anything could happen. You don't know what I'm gonna be like in five years. I could be in a. I could be happily married to a woman with three kids.

[Ryan Seacrest]

In five years, I would be interested in participating in pup bear play with you.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. In five years, I'm married to a woman with three kids, but I'm also going to be like, I actually identify as a cocksucker.

[George Taveras]

Let's get it on the calendar.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, let's get it on the calendar.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Huh.

[Josh Gondelman]

Huh.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm really having trouble transitioning out of this line of thinking.

[Josh Gondelman]

Let's do our first segment.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's such a good idea.

[George Taveras]

Thank you.

[Sam Taggart]

The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS, with playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make make the playoffs, reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harrow. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals to survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big Three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three and the no hold sport action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific, followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern. Presented by iHeart.

[Josh Gondelman]

You can make a difference in someone's life, including your own, with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, healthcare, retirement options and free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the old gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the Old Gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare. With over 300 years of experience between them, hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to love, sex, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. Listen to these fabulous friends swap stories exploring how queer life has evolved over the decades and the silver linings they've collected along the way. Each episode dives into hot topics, from safe sex and online dating to untangling Gen Z lingo, as well as insights on how music, art and fashion show up in queer cultures. So check out Silver Linings, a show about how pride ages like fine wine, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th. It's back to deals time where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points.

[George Taveras]

Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Hershey's, Cheez It.

[Josh Gondelman]

Kellogg's Gatorade, Smart Water, Skinny Pop, Oberto, Zoa and Activia. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings.

[George Taveras]

Shop in store or online for easy.

[Josh Gondelman]

Drive up and go, pickup or deliver subject to availability restrictions apply.

[George Taveras]

Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Josh Gondelman]

Josh, as you know, our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment we gauge your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose one thing or another thing. And the one rule is you can't ask any follow up questions about how the game works.

[George Taveras]

I would never ask a question as a straight man. I would never ask a question.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, it's sometimes even worse if you do it as a lesbian. Be it. Okay, let's see. Josh, Peanut butter and jelly or being utterly smelly.

[George Taveras]

Wait, am I. I know I said I wouldn't ask all questions.

[Josh Gondelman]

I.

[George Taveras]

No, am I picking the straighter one?

[Sam Taggart]

Whoa.

[George Taveras]

Josh, peanut butter and jelly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, Josh.

[George Taveras]

Yep.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Bette Davis eyes or Shinigami eyes?

[George Taveras]

Betty Davis eyes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, Carrie. Carrie Bradshaw or Harry Baksher?

[George Taveras]

Carrie Bradshaw for sure. I've never been more confident of anything in my life.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, Progressive politics or ingested olive pits.

[George Taveras]

Ooh, ingested olive pits.

[Josh Gondelman]

Shopping at a Restoration Hardware or watching an adaptation of Jane Eyre.

[George Taveras]

Ooh, it's a draw. Yeah, for sure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, cross your T's and dot your I's or std Sti.

[George Taveras]

Crossing and dotting.

[Josh Gondelman]

Breaking your wordle streak or shaking because you're meek.

[George Taveras]

Ooh, breaking wordle streak.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, the Bling ring or the Sting sing? Sting sing.

[George Taveras]

I guess. Sting sing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, like the artist Sting.

[George Taveras]

Oh, definitely the artist Sting. Okay. I wasn't picturing a capital S. No, I was actually.

[Josh Gondelman]

I was like, is this a phrase I haven't heard of? Also, the Sting sing is such a fascinating way to phrase that. It's playing with parts of speech in a really interesting way. It's like it's not the Sting song or Sting singing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's the Sting sing.

[George Taveras]

Okay, well, makes perfect sense to me. That's the movie where. Where Sting. It was shot in a prison.

[Josh Gondelman]

Correct.

[George Taveras]

Colman Domingo plays Sting.

[Josh Gondelman]

Colman Domingo plays Sting. And the rest of the actors are actually all former inmates.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it's about Sting's relationship with Trudy.

[George Taveras]

And I think not only Is it good? It's important.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And the security guards are played by the other members of the police.

[Sam Taggart]

The band.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it's actually a shame it wasn't nominated for Oscars. And it actually really points to a dark future for film, cinema, and politics. Speaking of which, a man made Disaster or a film by Ari Aster.

[George Taveras]

Ari Aster, period.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Period.

[Josh Gondelman]

Sam, do you have one more?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, that's all of mine.

[Josh Gondelman]

Did I do five by accident?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think you did five by accident.

[Josh Gondelman]

Sorry.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Don't apologize.

[Josh Gondelman]

I mean, I'm gonna be honest. It's because we had. That doesn't matter. We had written more for the next episode. I just kept going. So anyway, Josh, we rank each guest performance on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves. It is named after the Lady Gaga song 1000 Doves, which is not a big hit. It just sort of is on one of our albums.

[George Taveras]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But people have yelled at us for calling it a B side, I must say.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, is that true?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Someone was in our comments saying, stop saying 1000 does is a B side. It's an album track. It's not a B side.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, I'm sorry. First of all, calling something a B side doesn't mean it's literally a B side. This is in the 1970s. It means it's, like, not a single and it's sort of like a secondary track.

[George Taveras]

Would you agree this is not a Motown single on a 45.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right, exactly. Like. No, I know it's not literally a B side.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I agree. It felt crazy.

[George Taveras]

So they're like. They're saying, like, the sanctity of B side versus deep cut is, like, very.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right, exactly. I guess it is a deep. I guess it is a deep cut.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We can call it a B side.

[Josh Gondelman]

We can call it a B side. I'm actually not going to be bullied into submission.

[George Taveras]

I don't think you should let yourself be bullied. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, so go ahead, Sam.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, and then I was going to say, and I think we should call some things eps if they're two straight short.

[George Taveras]

I agree.

[Josh Gondelman]

I do agree with that.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sometimes if it's too short, you can't count it as an lp. Right. Even if they define it as, like, their album. I'm like, oh, really? Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

So would you call the Pink. The Pink Panthers album an ep?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I would. It's a To Die. It's a great EP.

[Josh Gondelman]

Of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Come on. It's what, 22 minutes?

[George Taveras]

Come on.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What are we doing here?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. This is a British songstress that we like and do, you know, are you aware of her?

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Okay. Wow. That was actually very sort of like heterophobic.

[George Taveras]

What I just did, like, immediately starting. You think I don't know who I'm.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, oh, sweetie, like, I can explain. So what would. What score would you give Josh?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, the questions were honestly offensive, considering.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, there was only one question.

[Ryan Seacrest]

One question's all it takes.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's true. Dua Lipa said that. Do you know her?

[George Taveras]

The podcaster?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. Yeah. And newsletter writer and journalist. Investigative journalist.

[George Taveras]

She has a book club.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah, she has a book club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think asking a question was downright offensive. But I do think you had such a joy while doing the segment. There was such a sense of play that I would have.

[George Taveras]

This was in my calendar.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's right, yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Literally. I'm going to go ahead and say 820 dubs.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I have to agree. I will say something interesting. When you did ask a question and I tried to cut you off, you actually kept asking the question in a way that I found very interesting, because I think you could tell that the bit is like, we yell at you if you ask a question. But you really kept. You were like, no, I have a question. And it's rare that you're sort of like, for lack of a better term, toxic masculinity comes out. You're famously a nice guy. That's what the trades tell me Constantly, every single day. And so it was fascinating how you. This is where I draw the line. I need to know the rules.

[George Taveras]

I need to know. Well, I get very disoriented when I don't know the rules. Sure. And then I was just like, you know what? I think I just am going with my heart.

[Josh Gondelman]

It also is like, speaking of comedy rules and purist standup and whatever, I think the way people react to the game is a signifier of their approach to comedy. And I am like you where I need to know the rules. And I'm like, like, great. So the way that good comedy works, you work within certain rules and you push just far enough that something is surprising.

[George Taveras]

Right. But it's not. Like to me, in this game, I. When I realized what was happening, I was like, oh, okay, those are the rules.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly.

[George Taveras]

And it was like, yeah, but I do. When someone is like, oh, it could be anything. I'm like, well, it's going to be the one thing I came planning to do then, right?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, for sure. Josh is the nice guy thing. Ever get suffocating for you Are you ever like, I'm bad, too?

[George Taveras]

My wife put that in her wedding vows.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Really?

[George Taveras]

She's also not nice. So that's the funnest. When he just is like an to people. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I do. But it is. I think it's nice to have any reputation at all.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's an interesting point.

[Josh Gondelman]

So it's a. So it's a branding exercise for you, is what you're saying.

[George Taveras]

It's nice that people seem to get what I'm about generally, even if it flattens the new eyes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you worry about sort of the Ellen effect, the Fallon effect? You know, the nicer you are publicly, the meaner you're gonna get behind the scenes.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't think Fallon's issue is that he's mean, but go ahead.

[George Taveras]

I do worry that because people. Because I have a certain reputation, if I'm, like, a little prickly, it will come off much harsher than, like, there are certain people, I imagine, who we all know I'm not thinking of anyone specific, but who can walk into a room and be like, hey, give me that fucking coffee. And everyone's like, oh, thank God you didn't hit me today.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or, what totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Are we all thinking of the same person?

[Josh Gondelman]

I actually think that because I'm such a. Or I spent my 20s being such a huge bitch, people really take it seriously when I like something. Like, when I'm like, I really enjoyed this movie, people are like, wow, George liked it.

[George Taveras]

You're discerning.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, well, I don't. I mean, thank you for saying that. And I think at my best, maybe I am. But also, like, I just spend so much of my. Again, twenties just, like, being. Thinking that it was a sign of intelligence to constantly hate everything.

[George Taveras]

Sure.

[Josh Gondelman]

And so people and I. People started prefacing things with, like, you'll probably hate this, but blah, blah, or like, you know, I want to see this movie. Do you hate. Like, would you ever do that? Deign to do that?

[George Taveras]

This is pretty stupid. But do you guys want to get dinner this next week?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, totally. Totally. Exactly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Josh, when was the last time you were, like, a huge bitch to somebody?

[George Taveras]

Oh, man. It comes out when I travel too, where I'll just like.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it's.

[George Taveras]

And my big problem is, because I'm from Massachusetts, I think I'm, like, making a big show of my feelings. And even people close to me will be. I'll go like, God, I was so mad. I really blew up at the person and be like, that is not how anyone perceived that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

They will think you just inhaled sharply and then were polite.

[Josh Gondelman]

I mean, I will say there is. Okay, I'm gonna anonymize this. There is one person in comedy that everyone hates. And one time someone told me, someone was like, even Josh doesn't like, whoa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I wish I could know who it is.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's the one you're thinking of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, okay, cool. Anyway, so Josh, sorry, one more thing. Do you ever. Okay, meta, meta. Are you ever, like. Like, okay, why does everyone keep asking me about a nice guy Persona? Like, do you get asked that all the time?

[George Taveras]

Like, in. In interviews? Pretty regularly. And I don't. I like. I truly. I like, don't mind that people think that about me, but it does. Like, I do have the opposite thing of you, where if I'm like. If I make fun of something, gently someone be like, wow, you really hate that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't know. Interesting.

[George Taveras]

I thought we could, like, make fun of stuff because we were comedians.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

We're having a conversation and I'm being charged.

[George Taveras]

That's right. That's right. I'm being. I'm being. I'm having a good time.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But thank you.

[George Taveras]

Thank you for asking.

[Josh Gondelman]

I will never forget. You know what really stuck with me, Sam? When we had Atsuko on, and she was like, when I. She was like, when I do comedy, I talk about things I like, not things I dislike. And I was like, what? I was like, excuse me, that is not what we're here to do. Like, I was just like, wait, that's your guiding principle? It really, like, shifted something within me. I was like, that's an interesting challenge.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, it is. And it's harder, I think, in general to get over with that because it's so. People are so used to comedy, that's like, someone's like, that glass of water that fucking sucks. And everyone's like, yeah, it does. Even if it's hot.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it pains me to admit this because I love reading, like, a negative review. I love reading a pan. Like, I love reading, like, a negative book review or something. However, it simply must be said that it is actually more difficult to write a positive assessment than a negative assessment.

[George Taveras]

And I will also say you can write a negative review about almost anything.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know.

[George Taveras]

Even if it's great. Like, there are so many great things that you can find one little thread to, like, pull the whole thing apart and. And it's so much harder to build up a positive review and, like, make the case other than Just being like, oh, it's good.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. Because actually, like, you sound kind of dumb when you like something.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

So you have to really, really add to it to actually make the positive opinion, like, worthwhile in any way.

[George Taveras]

Totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, it's also hard to make something positive feel larger. Like, you are kind of reaching when you're like, well, they're commenting on our state of overly, like, stimulated. And it's like, I think you just kind of like the beat. Like, I think it, like, has an interesting, like, texture to it.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, it's not always, like, needing this grand meaning. And I think people sound stupid when they're trying to praise something because they're trying to make it seem more important than it is.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And it's also like, okay, when you're praising something for succeeding in what it set out to do, you are simply restating what it set out to do.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

So if a movie is like, a commentary on our information age, and then your view is, like, it succeeds at being a commentary on our information age. Actually, I could have just watched the movie and told you that.

[George Taveras]

Right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Whereas if it fails and you're explaining why it failed, you, in fact, are adding something to the conversation.

[George Taveras]

Right. Explain why it succeeded. You're just like, it succeeded because it did it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Damn, that's so true.

[Josh Gondelman]

But also, what you're saying about, like, picking small things that make something sound bad, it's like, I used to think that was so badass, and I'm now, like, when I read a book review and it's, like, intentionally choosing lines that, like, look stupid, I'm like, okay, what was the context?

[George Taveras]

Yeah, it's like, I don't know. Show me a picture of one of my balls, and I'll be like, yeah, I guess I look like an idiot. Oh, this guy's just made of one ball.

[Josh Gondelman]

Josh, have you seen his one ball? That is not a full page.

[George Taveras]

You took that one ball out of.

[Josh Gondelman]

Context in the Mariner's apartment complex.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Should we get into our topic?

[Josh Gondelman]

I do want to go back to ball at some point because I actually think that's genius. It's like, literally a review of a person and being like, but what about. Look at. It's just one ball.

[George Taveras]

Oh, look at that long toenail. I'm more than my one long toenail.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right, right. But you know what? Some people are actually defined by the one long toenail, which is it. And that's actually the discernment you have to have as A criticism. Mm. Okay. It's like you, a good critic won't pick the one ball to criticize you. They will actually pick something negative about you that is, like, emblematic of your larger feelings.

[George Taveras]

Of my larger feelings, yes. Right, right. Absolutely. And that's. That's my back.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally. Yeah.

[George Taveras]

And I was gonna say that, like, weirdly sweaty. Sweaty at different amounts in different parts of the back. Now that's. That's criticism.

[Josh Gondelman]

Ooh, I wonder. Mine would be.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I actually thought it was interesting that you brought up, like, the one weird toenail, because I was looking at my recently, and I was like, I'm so glad that beauty standards are about face. Face, you know, body hair and not, like, feet. If we led with our feet and people were, like, looking at your feet, I would be, like, the ugliest person on earth. Unfortunately.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I say to silence.

[Josh Gondelman]

I, I, I'm sorry. I was trying to remember.

[Sam Taggart]

No, you beautiful.

[Josh Gondelman]

I was trying to remember. Like, I've been in beach environments with you. I've never. I actually, I do. I'm someone who would notice, like, crazy toenails, but I've never. Okay, they're standard feet.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They're standard feet. There's just, like. There's no, like, beauty to them. And I think some people actually do have some beauty in there. And mine are like, yeah, that looks like that foot almost doesn't match my, My, My whole vibe. It's sort of like, whose foot is that?

[Josh Gondelman]

I see what you're saying. Well, you know, I famously have an insecurity about having small feet for my body.

[George Taveras]

Really?

[Josh Gondelman]

So. Yes, go ahead.

[George Taveras]

I have one more thing about just, like, focusing on a little thing. Because it is fun, right? It is fun, and you do feel smart. And it can be very funny to be like, this thing that you like. This one thing is stupid. And everyone's like, ah, you're right. I don't know. I still thought, like, whatever is a pretty good movie.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know. It's actually, I've been thinking about this, because this is going to be data by the time it comes out. Out. But have you been keeping up with the assessment of the Tiny Desk concert of Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zero?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Gondelman]

Do you know what I'm talking about?

[George Taveras]

I did. I saw one tweet about it, and now it's all, like, coming into focus.

[Josh Gondelman]

Beautiful mindset everywhere for me. Like, it's so funny.

[George Taveras]

For whatever reason, when you close your eyes, it's all you see.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. And I've actually.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Georgia, it's everywhere for Me as well.

[Josh Gondelman]

And actually I was talking to Matthew and I was like, oh God, is this ever for you? And he was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And it made me feel crazy. Much like I'm feeling now that you said you saw it once. Because it truly, for like three days has been my entire feat.

[George Taveras]

I mean, what are people saying? I heard people don't like it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, it's just like, I think, okay, so there's this clip of Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zero is performing the song Home. You know the one that's like Alabama, Arkansas. I do love my ma and PA that one. And it just is like obviously like emblematic of like that era of hipstery.

[George Taveras]

You know what? I'm thinking of a second thing I saw about it. Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

But it was a second.

[George Taveras]

It was just a. About someone assessing whether like Stomp Clap Hay is an actual genre.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. So it's resulted in all this like very stupid theorizing about that era. But it's fascinating when something like that. In fact, I actually do think this is a one ball situation where they're like taking one thing and trying to expand on like all alt rock in the 2010s. And actually there was some good alt.

[George Taveras]

Rock in the 2010s. You're thinking of three bands, right?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

You think of Edward shepherd, the Magnetic Zeros. You're thinking of Mumford and stuff. And you're thinking of the Lumineers.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes, exactly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I think people are taking their anger out on Mumford and Sons and the Lumineers out on Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Heroes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, you think so?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I do. I think there is a bit of a one ball situation happening and is where I stand on this.

[Josh Gondelman]

So you would say between those three, you prefer Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would say because I remember this all happening. And I was like that first one, I was like, okay, sure, I'm not running to buy ticks. But I'm like, whatever, this is kind of a fun song. And then it's like, then it gets Mumford in Sons of Fire. And I remember being like, what?

[Josh Gondelman]

How fascinating.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And that's when it was like, okay, well now it's becoming radio hit in a way that I'm like, well, it wasn't supposed to be. And if it was, it was supposed to be on accident.

[Josh Gondelman]

So you're saying the rise of Edward Sharpe was more authentic and organic?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, that is kind of what I'm saying.

[Josh Gondelman]

Whereas Mumford is like married to Carey Mulligan.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it was very on purpose. And what is trending and what can we make a profit on?

[George Taveras]

I don't think they did them any favors with, like, the Dust bowl cosplay that they were all doing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, that's.

[George Taveras]

You can play a banjo and wear regular jeans.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally. Yeah, totally. Well, they're also. I do think the main guy. Is his name actually Edward Sharp or is that like a band name? Doesn't matter. No one knows.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Beats me.

[George Taveras]

But the main guy, his real name is Bright Eyes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, wow, that's interesting. His real name is Toon Yards, I believe. And I think that, like, he has. He literally had a cult leader type thing going. I think literally there were followers.

[George Taveras]

I didn't know that.

[Josh Gondelman]

And something that I find disturbing about that video is not really the music. It's the way that there's sort of evil in his eyes. And then the girl who then later they broke up, honestly, looks like someone in a documentary about a cult that is looking lovingly at the leader.

[George Taveras]

Sure.

[Josh Gondelman]

And, you know, maybe I'm projecting, but that, to me is what's more sort of disturbing about that video rather than the. Rather than the. What's going on?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Alex Eber is his name.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, thank you to our fact checkers. Where were you when we posted that video about the Chicago show?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, I have a one ball situation.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, go. Josh, I hope you know that you have now coined a framework that we're going to be using for years to come.

[George Taveras]

Honestly, this is so flattering to me. All I ever want is to coin new phrases.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, literally, one ball crib criticism is like. Is a big idea. Like, I'm like, I'm gonna be thinking about this for a while. Okay, what is your one ball example?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, I actually have the wrong name. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The. You'll know. You'll know the name in the moment. I do it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah. Tune yards.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, the politician. The politician. Howard Dean.

[Josh Gondelman]

Howard Dean.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's it.

[George Taveras]

Huge. One ball moment.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's such a one ball situation.

[Josh Gondelman]

That is such a one ball situation. You're absolutely right. Right?

[George Taveras]

This is. God, if only we could incept this idea into Malcolm Gladwell's mind.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I know.

[George Taveras]

We would go three books deep on this.

[Josh Gondelman]

Wow. This is. I mean, who. Who was the politician that was like, in New York that was like, good for the working class, but then he had a sex scandal.

[George Taveras]

Elliot Spitzer.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. I would say that was a literal one ball situation.

[George Taveras]

Might have been a two ball situation.

[Josh Gondelman]

Two ball situation.

[George Taveras]

Of course. Two or two Simultaneous one ball situation.

[Josh Gondelman]

Two. Simultaneous one ball situation. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Now I'm desperate to think of more.

[George Taveras]

Also, half the time when I see, like, individual sentences pulled out of a book 50% of the time at least, I go, I don't know, that seems nice. I agree.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's like, okay, sorry that they used a simile like that happens in literature sometimes.

[George Taveras]

Sometimes stuff feels like the feeling of it is more important than it, like tracking super literally. Especially when you're talking like poetry or like lyrical fiction. Yeah. If you're writing a nonfiction book that's like explaining how tax derivative, you know, stock derivatives work and you're using metaphors that are confusing.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't know.

[George Taveras]

There's no, like, it doesn't matter how beautiful it is.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, on Earth, we're briefly stocks.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, that's right. I am thinking of Ocean Vong, where people like, pulling out, like, look at this stupid sentence. I'm like, I don't think that's kind of nice.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, Ocean Vuong is a classic example where I truly have fallen for the one ball theory of Ocean Vuong because I've never read his work, but I have it so in my head as like the poster child of like corny, tender, queer, you know, twee little Tumblr y tumblery poetry infused prose. And that's a. And I, who knows, maybe if I actually went back and read On Earth were briefly gorgeous, I would actually enjoy it in context.

[George Taveras]

Even the reviews of the new book and Andrea Allen Chu for New York magazine specifically, like, was like, I like the new book. Now here's 7,000 words about why I hated the first one. And I was like, damn, she had that in the chamber.

[Josh Gondelman]

She did, you know. And yet Andrew Longchu, when she on this podcast, was waxing poetic about the mcu. So I would love to have her back on and question her about which art properties she supports and which ones she doesn't.

[George Taveras]

We gotta get her take on One Book criticism. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, my God. I actually would love Andrea. Okay. This is. We're gonna profit off of this, basically.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

It's gonna be the worst selling T shirt ever.

[Josh Gondelman]

I need Andrea on One Ball courtesy now. Okay. Wow. So, Josh, you brought a few topics for us today.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I did, actually.

[Josh Gondelman]

I would love it if you could read the list.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sure.

[Josh Gondelman]

Since you have it on you. And then we will talk about the one we chose.

[George Taveras]

Okay. I had. So one of them. You did before the last one, game night, which you've done before. I came in prepared to talk about Christmas cards. Where someone is holding a gun. Editorial cartoons where dead celebrities meet in heaven. Two pays. Standing desks. Doing your own research and separating the art from the artist, which is deemed potentially too juicy. Well, I think.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, so I actually think doing your own research and separating the art from the artist are at the perfect center of, like, gay and straight. Because it just depends. Doing your own research. On the one hand, like, if you're QAnon, it's straight, but if you're, like, doing Stan theories about, oh, you know, Taylor Swift are gay.

[George Taveras]

Totally. You know what? I hadn't lumped that in because it's. It is the same. You know what? The reason I didn't lump it in is because they're actually doing their own research. Exactly. The straight version of doing your own research is being like, I did no research, and I just waited for Joe Rogan to pretend he did research.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally, totally. I just feel like conspiratorial thinking is one of those things that, like, can get anyone.

[George Taveras]

Totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

They like to think we're immune to.

[George Taveras]

It for sure, but. Oh, God, go ahead.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, you go.

[George Taveras]

I'm.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, go, go, go.

[George Taveras]

Because the, like, Taylor Swift conspiracy is like, no one knows her. Like, no one's followed her. Like, I have. I have this special knowledge. And then the QAnon one is like, we all could open our eyes to this, right?

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally. It's like one of them is BPD and one of them is schizophrenia, but I actually don't know which is which.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But I also think separating the art from the artist is. Can go either way in a huge way, because obviously, like, you know, straight people are loving Louis still and, like, go off.

[Josh Gondelman]

I actually, actually, like, we might have to take this out, but I have a bomb to drop when you're opening for Louis. When we were preparing, I like to watch and listen to stand up, especially when I'm in a writing phase, because it just inspires me to think in stand up terms. I was actually listening to a take. I was listening to a Maria Bamford album I had never listened to before. It was so good. And I was like. And I just thought to myself, I was like, I wonder what Louis material post cancellation has been like, because I haven't kept up with him, and I listened to two full hours albums.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Josh Gondelman]

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.

[George Taveras]

I was done with the water, but I still wanted to do this.

[Josh Gondelman]

I will say this. I was surprised at how not about his cancellation they were and how on the same wavelength as his old work almost, I guess here's what I'm trying to say. If someone were to just listen to album after album and have never opened a newspaper or know what happened, they'd be like, that's the same artist. Like, it's. Which is just a very strange, it was a strange thing to see when we know so many people that have had way less dramatic cancellations and then literally made their entire vibe.

[George Taveras]

Right. That is, that is just so brutal to behold. Yeah, just someone being like, oh, looks like I know who's paying my bills.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right, exactly. Because there was one tweet.

[George Taveras]

Yep, it's, it's really wild.

[Josh Gondelman]

But anyway, go ahead. So separating the art from the artist. On the one hand, for straight people it's Louie, there's Lou, and also for George it's. And for me and yeah, George, it's complicating your theory, but yeah, well, and.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Then for gay people there's Nicki Minaj.

[Josh Gondelman]

I was going to say Aelia Banks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But yeah, Azalea Banks.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, talk about separating the one song that no one can stop listening to from the artist.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, that is your perspective.

[Josh Gondelman]

I, I, I, I didn't want to say anything, but I do listen to the entire album, start to finish, actually multiple times a year.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But I cannot stop listening to her, no matter what. She barely releases music and I'm always ravenous. It's so weird.

[Josh Gondelman]

Here's what's so fascinating about Azealia Banks. Her written output, all over the place, just like politics range from right wing to left wing to completely just spreading misinformation to occasionally very insightful comments. Just like everything.

[George Taveras]

She is kind of the median voter.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly, exactly. She's like the undecided voter voter. And then her. But her artistic output focused, always well done. Like it's cra. It's like two different people. It's like she, she simply should not have been born in an era where social media existed. She should have been like an eccentric that had these crazy views in private.

[George Taveras]

Right, right. She should have been Prince.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes, exactly.

[George Taveras]

I don't know what princess views are, but I mean, like he was somebody that was like doing the work and doing the work and doing the work.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, it's a bummer.

[Josh Gondelman]

And Nicki Minaj, of course. I mean, listen, when it hits, it hits.

[George Taveras]

Talk about two ball criticism that speak about her cousin's testicles.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh my God, she was doing two ball criticisms.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She was.

[George Taveras]

She's like, you can't take the vaccine because both of my cousins balls. Her cousin's friend or something? Was it her cousin? Someone vaccinated?

[Josh Gondelman]

I think it was her cousin.

[George Taveras]

Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

Her cousin's balls engorged because it was cousin because of the vaccine.

[George Taveras]

So this is separating the art from the artist and doing her own research?

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. Yes. Wow. She was doing her own research. Yeah, she was doing her own research.

[George Taveras]

And that's when you have separated.

[Josh Gondelman]

And then the gays separated the art from the art of research, the artist from the art of her research.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You guys are fact checkers saying that it's actually cousin's friend.

[George Taveras]

Cousin's friend. Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Cousin's friend.

[Josh Gondelman]

So barely doing her own research, then more so just answering a phone call from her cousin.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, just getting.

[Josh Gondelman]

It was like, I heard something.

[George Taveras]

I did my own group chat about about this. I've come to some interesting conclusions.

[Josh Gondelman]

Fascinating. Okay, so then what we landed on is toupees.

[George Taveras]

Toupees.

[Josh Gondelman]

So if you feel so comfortable, please tell us why you think toupees are straight.

[George Taveras]

Toupees. There are lots of ways to be. To lose your hair. You can just let it go. You can comb it over, which is also pretty straight. That's kind of like nature's toupee you and you can wear. I want to separate specifically toupees from wigs, which can be obviously very queer.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes.

[George Taveras]

But a toupee always looks bad every single time. It is like the straight. And this is an ethos that I, as a straight man, have the straight male ethos of fucking good enough. And also, like, doing a thing. It is also the thing of doing a thing to impress women that women do not like or care about, which is an extreme straight guy thing of just like, I'm gonna have huge shoulder muscles and be like, do they want that? Like, who told you? And it's like another guy with big shoulder muscles.

[Josh Gondelman]

I think of baldness insecurity in the same vein as height insecurity. It's like, yes, it's. It's. Did you see materialists with Pedro Pascal's leg? Yes. Leg lengthening surgery. It's like. It is like. It's sort of. I'm trying not to say incel culture, because that's not what I mean, but it's like. It's this sort of, like, gamifying attractiveness. It's like, looks maxing.

[George Taveras]

Yes, it is looks maxing. And it's like, you can just like, a short bald guy with, like, outrageous charisma is going to have a lot more, like, social fluidity and, like, just, like, grace in social situations and romantic success than, like, A guy with long legs.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally.

[George Taveras]

And a full head of hair that just, like, has nothing going on.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And that's why we have to separate the art from the artist with Woody Allen, because he's actually very short and very bald.

[George Taveras]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

And, you know, did really well for himself.

[George Taveras]

He really did. I mean, up to a point.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think it's also complicated because, like, gay men also obviously don't, like, they, like, value their hair a lot of the times.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And. And. But they choose a different route. Like, I think they do more of the, like, hair loss pills or going to Turkey for, like, plugs. Like, there is a. And I think the medical approach versus the sort of, like, quick fix of a toupee approach, I find to be like, an interesting difference.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, it is what you're saying. It's the good enough ethos.

[George Taveras]

It's extremely important because you think about the going to Turkey, getting a surgery to keep your hairline thick and full and tight, and you go, yeah, that's like a commitment to an aesthetic, which is not a straight guy thing. And like a. But just putting on a toupee, like, going into a place, putting on the toupee, looking in the mirror and going like, that looks bad, but probably no one will say anything about it.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, exactly. You're actually.

[George Taveras]

It's like extreme straight culture.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know what else it is? It's like, caring too much is actually kind of gay. Like, like about your appearance. So it's already, of course, humiliating to, like, go looking for a toupee. I don't think any. Any straight guy is proud of going toupee shopping. I think they're, like, ashamed of it and, like, want straight, so they're like, oh, God, I don't want to spend too much time on this. Like, just put it there and like, whatever. I just, like, don't have to think about it too much.

[George Taveras]

And it's. It's also like, I'm. I'm a pretty bald guy. I shave my head pretty tight, and that is fine. And I know. I also know many gay men that do that. And that's like a totally. That's another totally fine way. Or like, you could, like, in the 90s, you could do the Costanza, just kind of like, act like it's not happening. And even that was fine. But, like, two toupee is the worst option.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, there was a time when George Costanza went on some late night show, maybe Fallon, and was like, like, sometimes he does wear a toupee. I mean, the what? The guy, he's Alexander. Sorry. I know George Jacinda's not real, but.

[George Taveras]

Containment, like a pixel scenario, but with characters.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's into the spider verse, but with George Costanza.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Josh. My fantasy is that we have a sitcom with George Costanza, Cam from Modern Family and Dwight Schrute all in one house.

[George Taveras]

Kind of the ready player one for socially maladjusted men.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, we're gonna have it. We're gonna have it one day. We are very soon.

[Josh Gondelman]

We're very pro chem for Modern Family and actually think that it's one of the best on. And I'm not kidding, one of the best on screen gay performances. I don't know if you ever watch Modern Family.

[George Taveras]

I didn't watch much Modern Family.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's the fat one is who we're talking about. So not Jesse Taylor Ferguson, who's played by a straight man who I have heard also is like really popular with the ladies in his free time when he's not being gay. But it's one of the most incredible on screen performances of the 21st century. Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, we're addicted. But Jason Alexander wore a toupee and was like, yeah, I know everyone knows it's fake, but I think it's kind of fun to do sometimes. And I was like, well, that's an interesting approach.

[George Taveras]

I like that approach.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, that's like Kathy Griffin, like doing a video. Video about her third facelift, which she just did.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I was just like, we both saw that video.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, she was like my third facelift. And I'm here to talk about Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Heroes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I hate that George and I have the same Internet.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, listen, I like to support Kathy. End of sentence. I actually have nothing negative to say about her.

[George Taveras]

I have nothing bad to say about her.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes, I think that. But I think that's great. But that. That is such an exception to the rule because there it's etupe is so shame based. Like, to have the self awareness to then make a joke about it is like only Jason Alexander could do that.

[George Taveras]

Right. And it's. It either has to be so immaculately constructed. At which point to me, that crosses the boundary and is a wig.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Or it has to be a bit this kind of just like slapping it on and just crossing your face fingers. That is bad news.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I. I would be remiss. Not to mention the sort of class element here, which is that rich celebrities are getting like incredibly intricate.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Plugs.

[Josh Gondelman]

Plugs and. And hair surgery and those they were.

[George Taveras]

Doing it before it was good.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly.

[George Taveras]

You would see guys on TV and you'd be like, you think that looks better than just, like, keeping it tight?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

That's bananas.

[Josh Gondelman]

I mean, you know who was doing it before it was cool? Elon Musk. Elon Musk has incredible hair. And. And there's fully. Footage of him fully bald, like, 20 years ago.

[George Taveras]

Yep. And then looking like middle. Middle distance.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes, yes, yes.

[George Taveras]

And I don't mean. I don't mean to sound like a pick me ball guy, of course, but I do think it's like, commit to a thing. Don't have, like a. Like a sloppy head of hair that you're like, oh. Like, if it blows away in a breeze, you're like, I ruined.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Josh, I'm curious what your perception of the TV industry's approach to balding is currently, because I think we've tried to talk about this before where there aren't balding men on tv. Like, there used to be.

[George Taveras]

Yes, Well, I think there's a little less of it. Like, I think society has moved towards the extremes of, like, more bald or more hair because it's more accessible to, like, look. To have better hair and more in vogue, to not just, like, hang on to it. Like, like, you're with a death grip. Yeah. But I do think you're not a lot of balding anymore. And it's certainly, like, it is one of them. Like, the. It's so embarrassed. Like, Joe Biden used to be balder, right?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Joe Biden and Donald Trump both have, like, preposterous hair situations, and everyone's like, well, that's better than just, like, a balding guy, right?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah. What is it about? Is it. I have a theory that it's like you're caught in process. Yeah, in the process, but because. Well, I do want to hear your theory, Sam.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. My theory is that it's their hair and makeup people trying to not get fired. And so they're like, okay, I have to make it look like he's not balding so that, like, I have shown my worth. Because I feel like if you're the hair and makeup person and you leave them balding, even though it's natural, they'll be like, that's not true. I'm not balding. If it's just. It was the lighting that was on, like, and so you're, like, trying to save your job.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, so you think that it's Is a. It's a purely. Purely Holly. It's a. I like that. You're going in a more like, it's an economic issue, not, like, materialist direction. Like, you're like, this isn't about image making. It's about people in precarious positions as makeup artists and hair people that are, like, afraid of losing their job. So they're like, well, we can't. We can't put him out there bald.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I literally think. And I think it's a. An issue among the industry of hair and makeup people, because then they'll be like, well, he left. Like, do you see that? Cheryl left him bald out there on national television? And it was like, I'm not hiring her. Like, I think it's a huge issue.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know, speaking of Cheryl, actually, I want to say one of the few balding people left is Larry David.

[George Taveras]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Here's something interesting. People say, like, oh, it's like, you know, everyone. Everyone I know who's bald, like, shaves their head. And it's almost like, framed as this, like, not to call you out. It's framed as this, like, empowering thing. Sure. But no one dares to have the. To have the Larry David hair.

[George Taveras]

I will tell you, when we recorded last, probably I had. I was. I bet this was in the time where I had gone, like, 10 weeks without a haircut. Early pandemic. And I looked like I was trying to invent time travel.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, it is.

[George Taveras]

Like, I didn't. I don't fill in gracefully. It is a bad. Like, it just looks slovenly. I. Maybe there's a point that I could get it to where it would, like, fall better or, like, thicken up, but it. I look chaotic.

[Josh Gondelman]

But I just think beauty standards are such that there isn't a way that is socially accepted.

[George Taveras]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

To have, like, to be bald on top and not bald on the side.

[George Taveras]

You used to see those guys all the time. Yeah. Like, every. Like, dad in a teen movie. Was that, like, the Larry Miller look? You know, the guy who is. He played the doctor, like, the obgyn in Babes has, like, a famous guy like that. That's. I'm trying to think he was like the. The brother in the Drew Carey show or something.

[Josh Gondelman]

These are wildly desperate.

[George Taveras]

But he's. There's. You see it every once in a while. But it used to be like how every.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know who actually is like that in the Comeback? The husband. Lisa Kudrow's husband in the Comeback?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

He's like. He has a look you don't see anymore because it's not allowed.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. If they. They see it, they will shoot you right in the shiny forehead.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Or it's like the only way it's allowed is if you're playing like a pedophile.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a real. Either a creep or like a total doofus.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally.

[George Taveras]

Just like, oh, I forgot to get the milk.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, it's like, exactly.

[George Taveras]

That's. Which is when I was auditioning for commercials, that was like always the commercial I would audition. They like, bring me in for, like, guy who doesn't know whether he has car insurance. He was only calling my, like, babe, do we have car insurance?

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay. Honestly, that was a great performance.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. You booked. Thank you. Do we. Okay. And now we have to talk about the. I think we want to talk about the sort of Gen Z TikTok.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Version of the Toupee. That is. I've been. I've seen these videos where it's like a young guy who's like, hot and it like, where like looks like. Has a full head of hair and he's like, it's actually toupee. Then you, like, they show you as he puts it on.

[Josh Gondelman]

So here's what I will say about this. In these videos, what you see is like, you see the whole process and he's putting some sort of like, skin, Elmer's glue. And then like, it. It's like wrapping around exactly perfectly. And you see him showering. Important. It's like, wow. It stays on for like multiple days at a time. Blah, blah. I quite simply think all of that is fake.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Really?

[Josh Gondelman]

I just, like, don't think fake too. I literally don't think anyone is actually doing that. Like, it's like, it's one of those classic, like, fake trends. People see it on TikTok. Like a culture writer who's on deadline and has written like 15 blogs that are all about how like, Gen Z is not having sex anymore is like, please give me something else to write about. And then, you know, they've been working from home, haven't left the house in 15 days. Like, you know, they, they. Their union has been busted 15 times last week. And they're like, fine, I'll fucking write about toupee. Sure.

[George Taveras]

Like, do you want to watch one of his other TikTok videos to see if he ever looks like that?

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[George Taveras]

This has to be done in nine seconds.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right? And then the headline is literally like, gen Z. Gen Z says toupees are back. Really?

[George Taveras]

Wow. Yeah, it's awful.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, that's a really good point. I wish it were real. It looks so. It's such a satisfying thing to watch.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's a satisfying thing to watch. But doesn't it look like a nightmare to actually maintain?

[George Taveras]

And I bet it's uncomfortable.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Of course it feels really bad. Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Especially if you don't shave and you're sticking a toupee to, like, your stubble. That's awful. It's, I think as praxis, I kind of look like shit. And I think that's important because I think we need more equality right across gender lines. And I think if the two, there's two options. It's that women and non binary people can also start looking like shit, or it's that men have to look good all the time. And I'm not willing to cede that ground.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, but here's my rebuttal to you. Please, aren't you just perpetuating inequality by.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, flexing your power?

[George Taveras]

Flexing your power.

[Josh Gondelman]

First of all, I'm not agreeing that you don't.

[George Taveras]

No, no, no.

[Josh Gondelman]

But I'm going along with your, with your line of thought.

[George Taveras]

But it's like, okay, you slob.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm like, wait a minute. That's why you're doing this. I just, I, I, it's like, because you're saying women should still put in effort.

[George Taveras]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying if we, I'm saying it's got to go one way or the other.

[Josh Gondelman]

Uhhuh.

[George Taveras]

That's. It's a binary choice.

[Josh Gondelman]

I see. It's that either men start. Dress, start looking better, or, or women.

[George Taveras]

Start letting women start letting women look worse if it's their choice.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay. So as a culture, as a culture.

[George Taveras]

Not just like me being like, sorry.

[Josh Gondelman]

Toots, TR you allowing women to look worse.

[George Taveras]

It is kind of my decision.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We need beauty standards to be equal across. You know what I'm saying?

[Josh Gondelman]

You know what?

[George Taveras]

The equalizer.

[Josh Gondelman]

Totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know, it's so sad.

[George Taveras]

I can't give ground.

[Josh Gondelman]

My, I think I would support forcing men to look better.

[George Taveras]

Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

But I don't. But not as a social justice.

[George Taveras]

You just think men should look better.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, just like, aesthetically, I'm like, how amazing to go outside and everyone looks fab.

[George Taveras]

That's true. That's true.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I'll, you know what I mean?

[George Taveras]

Yes, I agree. I think that is also a good outcome.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, it's like the reason why I, I mean, it's not the main reason, but it's one of the reasons why, like, airports suck. Cuz Everyone looks bad.

[George Taveras]

I was going to ask, are you like a dress up to fly person?

[Josh Gondelman]

You know, I'm. I'm definitely not. But as I get older, I'm like, okay, maybe I won't look like complete shit.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, I'm not going to wear gray sweatpants.

[George Taveras]

Like, I have a couple pairs of, like, joggers that are made of pants. Regular pants material, not sweatpants material. And that, to me, is like, a perfect airport outfit because it is comfortable, but it doesn't look like I'm, like, checking the mail at the end of a driveway and over.

[Josh Gondelman]

Right, exactly. There's something about, like, looking some basic level of nice that actually also from within forces you to also act a little nicer to everyone because you're like, okay, this is a public space. It's not a private space.

[George Taveras]

You're not walking around, like, skulking like, nobody I know sees me here.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. So I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I also always do, like, usually want to shower when I get off the plane or whatever. But I do want the option to be like, we're just going straight to dinner. Like, I want the option.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I don't, like. Like, if I want to go for a walk right upon arrival, I don't want people to be like, did he just get off a plane?

[George Taveras]

No, that is a good point. I do that plane air. There's something in it. Cause I. Every time I get off a plane, I'm like, oh, why? Why is my body responding like, I just ran a marathon.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know. It's because the. The carbon dioxide that everyone in that plane has been exhaling is now on your skin.

[George Taveras]

It's just sticking to you.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's actually a. Of the. Of. Of everyone else's breath.

[George Taveras]

God, a tree would be loving this right now.

[Josh Gondelman]

God, if only I was a tree. Oh, my God. I'm trying to think. Any final thoughts on toupees?

[George Taveras]

I think I want to reiterate. If it takes effort and looks good. That's not what. That's a wig, and that's beautiful. Or if it's very silly like a costume. But I do think this kind of haphazard, Like, I'll never make partner with this hairline.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. Yeah.

[George Taveras]

I gotta slap something up there. And it's like, it always feels the way it always looks. And you can see the seams showing is like when you put on a shirt that you know is a little too wrinkled and you go, that's probably fine. Yes. And then someone one Friend clock's like, hey, man, you. Did you sleep hunched over a chair last night? And you go, ah, they fucking got me. Because they have eyes and they knew it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

And that's what every dupe looks like to me.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. There's something tragic about them. Like, it's like. It is. The effort is so visible that you almost want to give the person a hug. You almost want to be like, you don't have to do this.

[George Taveras]

Right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's like, I'm thinking of other. It's honestly, like, when you see someone whose eyebrows are so insanely painted on, we're like, well, we can all see that.

[George Taveras]

Right? Do you think that that looks good and that's, like, what you like to look like? Or do you think that we won't notice that it looks bad?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, it creates this, like, really complex thing where you can't say, this looks bad because that will break them, obviously. They will shatter. And you also, like. So if you notice, you can only say, like, it looks good. So then they're not getting any realistic feedback. It's like when someone's taking too big of a swing in general, no one can say anything. And so people don't learn the lesson. They almost have to. They're on essentially an episode of the Traitors and have to suss out if people are lying or telling the truth.

[Josh Gondelman]

So this is honestly a larger issue, and I don't know what the answer is, which is how do we know if we're doing something wrong?

[Ryan Seacrest]

How do we know it takes such a specific.

[Josh Gondelman]

It has to be truly your mother, who cares so much about you, telling you, like, hey, that is not right. Like, your closest friends will let you look insane. Or like, I have had nights where I have food in my teeth and I realize that when I get home and I'm like, I was with three friends. None of them told me.

[George Taveras]

Yep. And you would have been receptive to that. You wouldn't have been like, I have to leave.

[Josh Gondelman]

But it's like, surely all of us know people that. Do you know that have, like, one outfit that everyone's like, oh, God, he's wearing that again. Or. Or wear insane. I don't know. Always wear dirty socks that look dirty or something, and everyone clocks it and talks about it behind their back and no one will ever tell them.

[George Taveras]

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. What's the solution?

[Josh Gondelman]

Literally, the only solution is to have the voting public so honestly snap a photo of yourself before you leave and do a quick. It goes out to people that work at Content farms and are doing content moderation for Instagram. And it's like the people who are.

[George Taveras]

Like beheading, video beheading, video beheading.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's actually going to be so refreshing for them for someone to be like, does my toupee look good? And they're going to be like, sorry, but like you just got a message from Indonesia. It doesn't.

[George Taveras]

I also think what you're bringing up is an important point of like, when you're out for the night already, what good does it do for someone to be like, well, that's the worst shirt I've ever seen. Like, you've committed to the shirt. You're not going to be like, hold on, brought a spare. Yeah, so I do understand that. So that I think the sleep. But you gotta, you've gotta send out that image before you leave.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, exactly.

[George Taveras]

Whether it's a trusted friend, a critical aunt.

[Josh Gondelman]

But I do think it has to like, I'm literally like, it has to be an audience. Like a. Yeah, like an at home audience.

[George Taveras]

The person who decides whether a movie is PG 13 or R. Yeah, the NPAA. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, it's tough because they do need to be like credible in some way. Like we have to know that their taste is similar to our taste. Because some people don't know what you're gonna going for.

[George Taveras]

Right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, here's an idea. Think of people who have studied the arts, have studied fashion. Most of them are like underemployed. There's no jobs in magazines, media, whatever. This could be an easy way for them to make some money on the side. These can be like $15 an hour jobs. And they just clock in and they're looking through a carousel of outfits that people are sending. So you get basically a bunch of people that all went to the Fashion Institute of Technology. Technology. And they're like in the beginning of their careers and a small way they can make money is by just like giving one sentence feedback on outfits.

[George Taveras]

This is an incredible idea for an app.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you.

[George Taveras]

I would, I would subscribe to this app.

[Josh Gondelman]

Don't you think it could work? Yeah, it's almost like, it's like how. I mean now with AI, you don't need this. But it's like how people used to just like do copy, like copy editing for like small businesses, whatever.

[George Taveras]

Like it's, it should be called does this look okay? And it's like one that's fashion, right? It goes to fashion people and, and then one for like rashes that goes to retired doctors that are still Trying to make a little income.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm thinking it's like. It's like fashion therapy. Because you need someone who's like, I specialize in, like, preppy but vintage. Or like, I specialize in, like, sort of bushwick crazy. And then you'll be like, okay, that looks sort of like my. That's like a good match for me. And then they'd like, see you and be like, okay, here's what's wrong with you. Or you know what they'd be. They'd be like, so what made you want to wear that today?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, right. It's like a combination stylist and therapist.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Style rapist.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Style rapist sounds pretty bad.

[George Taveras]

We could work out today. But I think the profession is honestly solid.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, I think that it makes a lot of sense.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. And what were you going for with that? You're like, I stram for this thing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So is this satire or. Someone at our Chicago Live show asked me if my shoes were a commentary, which was kind of.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, that was crazy, actually. And I want to really shout them out for having the confidence to do that. Someone said, we're now doing. At our shows, we have started doing Q and A's because we believe stand up comedy is the only art form that doesn't allow for Q and A as much like, you know, like film does, for instance. And so someone asked Sam if his shoes were commentary on straight culture, which is basically like saying, like, so are you, like, joking when you wear those?

[George Taveras]

That's one of the worst questions I've ever heard.

[Josh Gondelman]

Now, keep in mind, we've done a full show where we're wearing normal out.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is the end of the show. This is the end of the show. I've been wearing the outfit the whole time.

[Josh Gondelman]

Nothing else is commentary. Like, it's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think I was dressed pretty normal.

[Josh Gondelman]

We were both dressed very normal.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Because we didn't want our outfits to speak for us.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We want to be able to focus on the words you'd both called your.

[George Taveras]

Style or pist before the.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. We were like doing really look like sort of like mid tier gay comedians. She was like, yeah.

[George Taveras]

Nothing about this seems like commentary.

[Josh Gondelman]

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[George Taveras]

She's like, how would it even be that?

[Josh Gondelman]

No, I could barely register it, honestly. As an outfit.

[George Taveras]

It says nothing.

[Josh Gondelman]

It says nothing. Yeah, yeah. And this guy actually was turning a look, I will say so. It hurt even more because it was someone that, like, you know, you would notice on the street, he had, like, shoes.

[George Taveras]

You would like to have had his right cosign and he was front row.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like. I'm like, well that's the thing. I was like, oh, so the whole time you've been like looking at my shoes and being like, so what's the story? Instead of like, cause that's the last thing I wanted was people to be looking at my shoes and wondering what the story is.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, you literally wanted to be neutral looking. And in fact, the entire time he was like, oh God.

[George Taveras]

You were hoping anybody who looked at your shoes would be like, got it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly.

[George Taveras]

Message received.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think we should do our final segment.

[Josh Gondelman]

I agree.

[Sam Taggart]

The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs, reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harrell. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals? To survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the biggest the 3 on 3 basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the Big Three and the no hold sport action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific, followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern. Presented by iHeart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You can make a difference in someone's life, including your own, with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, healthcare, retirement options and financial free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the old gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the Old Gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare. With over 300 years of experience between them, hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to love, sex, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. Listen to these fabulous friends swap stories exploring how queer Life has evolved over the decades and the silver linings they've collected along the way. Each episode dives into hot topics from safe sex and online dating to untangling Gen Z lingo, as well as insights on how music, art and fashion show up in queer culture. So check out Silver Linings, a show about how pride ages like fine wine. Available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your place.

[Josh Gondelman]

Podcasts hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to Deals time, where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points.

[George Taveras]

Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Hershey's, Cheez It.

[Josh Gondelman]

Kellogg's, Gatorade, Smart Water, Skinny Pop, Oberto, Zoa, and Activia. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings.

[George Taveras]

Shop in store or online for easy.

[Josh Gondelman]

Drive up and go. Pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Restrictions apply.

[George Taveras]

Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Josh Our final segment is called Shout Outs, and in this segment we pay homage to the grand straight tradition of the radio shout out. So imagine you're at TRL shouting out to your squad back home about anything that you like. People, places, things, ideas. George and I will go first and we always make them up on the spot. Okay, George, do you have one?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, kick us off.

[Josh Gondelman]

What's up, New York theater goers? I want to give a shout out to Morgan Basakis solo show, Can I Beat Frank? Now playing at Soho Playhouse. Have you seen this, Josh?

[George Taveras]

No.

[Josh Gondelman]

It is Sam Pinkleton, who directed Josh Sharp's show and O Mary. I I've known Morgan, like, tangentially, socially for years. I don't know them super well and I didn't know what to expect. I sort of didn't know how incred, how like, genuinely laugh out loud funny they were. And I went in expecting a sort of like solo show type thing where it's like, okay, there's a couple jokes in the beginning, but then we're gonna get serious. And I was like, so happy with how much I laughed. There was such a. It was so unexpected. It, like, managed to actually, like, avoid any of the tropes and cliches you'd expect from a show like that. Nan golden was in the audience. Wow. I was having the time of my damn life. And you know, just when you think you're gonna. Just when you think we've had enough solo shows, people keep doing them and sometimes they're good. I mean, I will be the. It pains me to admit it because, you know, you want to retire that as a form and sometimes people are actually good at it and you say, all right, well, I guess we can keep doing this for another few years. So shout out to pretty much all gay people that do solo shows.

[George Taveras]

You're the second person that's recommended this to me.

[Josh Gondelman]

Honestly, that's a classic thing that someone would be like, oh, you're a hater. Like, you probably wouldn't want to see an earnest show. And thank God I did because it was literally so. It was so good.

[George Taveras]

Amazing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Anyway, yeah, well, that sounds to die for. Okay, now I will go. What's up freaks, losers and perverts around the globe? I would like to give a huge shout out to the film the Naked Gun, the new one. I went to see it last night and I said, I'm laughing, I'm having fun. You know, I would have had the opposite feeling of George where I went in being like, this is probably going to be chock full of jokes and funny. And guess what? My expectations were completely correct. It was chock full of jokes and funny. I will say I do find the conversation around like, you know, we need to support this film as comedy needs to be to come back to theaters to be a little confusing as like using almost social justice sentiment to support a like stupid movie, but existing IP existing movie stars. Yeah. But I will say the movie is funny and I did laugh. Liam Neeson is to die for and Pamela Anderson is to die for. I think you. I highly recommend and have some fun. And at an hour 25 minutes, folks. You got the time. XOXO Sam.

[George Taveras]

Wow.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm seeing it there. They can't wait. Have you seen it?

[George Taveras]

I might also be going to the same.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, great.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. What's up, dogs? It's a big dog. Josh, go. I'm here to. I'm here to give a shout out. I did not commit. Did just bailed on that guy immediately.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To be fair, it was scary.

[George Taveras]

See people? Yeah, I'm known as a nice guy when I'm the big dog like that some guys could just get away with being the big dog. I want to give a shout out to one season and cancelled Netflix mystery comedy the Residents starring Uzo Aduba. And it was really good and very funny.

[Josh Gondelman]

I thought.

[George Taveras]

I know every comedy has to be 10 episodes and someone gets murdered in it. And this is one of my favorites of that genre.

[Josh Gondelman]

She.

[George Taveras]

She is very quirky and funny. I would have liked to see many more seasons of her solving mysteries. It is like, a blast. I don't. I know, like, four people that have watched it, which is probably why there is not a season two.

[Josh Gondelman]

You. I will say, so many people told me to watch it. And. And also, people did use the social justice language of, like, please watch this. Like, we have. And of course I didn't. Yeah, it's like, I'm sure I would like it.

[George Taveras]

I don't know. Especially with Netflix, it's like, I know.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know what? I did watch all of Hunting Wives.

[George Taveras]

How's that?

[Josh Gondelman]

You know, it is maybe the trashiest show I've ever watched, but it's like. It's like. It's good. You know, it's like, I can't believe.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You watched all of it.

[Josh Gondelman]

I watched all of it, and you know what? I'm part of a large community of people because it's number one on Netflix, and many people I know are watching it. It's just like, if you just succumb to it, you just get over the hump of, like, this is trashy, and you're in heaven.

[George Taveras]

You're a hunting wife guy.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I'm a hunting wife guy. I really was. The entire time Sam and I were in Chicago, I was like, I can't believe I can't watch the Hunting Wives because I have to watch it with Matthew, and I finished it last night. Night. And honestly, they absolutely slayed it there.

[George Taveras]

There's so many shows that are like. Like that. Like, it feels like every show is like that. And my wife Maris, her book. I want to burn this place down. Is that now?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, yes.

[George Taveras]

She was. She's wonderful and brilliant, and she watches all these shows. Like, she'll. I'll come home and she'll be like, I'll go, what are you watching? And she'll be like, sirens. And I have to go, which one is that?

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, I watched that, too.

[George Taveras]

Sirens, nine. Perfect Strangers. The Perfect Stranger.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I watched that, too. God, it's. You know, it's funny. I think of myself as someone who doesn't watch things like that. And now that you're listening, I'm like, I actually have seen all of them.

[George Taveras]

And I kind of think, like, White Lotus is, like, the apex of that 100%. But there's so much of that tone now.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know, and it's bad.

[Ryan Seacrest]

George, I had no idea you were watching all these shows.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I really have no justification for the Buccaneers. No, I have not watched the Buccaneers.

[George Taveras]

Christine.

[Ryan Seacrest]

George, you live like a double life.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, your version of this is like playing video games.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Shut up.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's like you. I. I don't think of that part of your life.

[Ryan Seacrest]

True, true, true.

[Josh Gondelman]

When you're playing video games. I'm watching Sirens.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Interesting.

[George Taveras]

I, like Sam is like, I just can't. I blackout. Whenever George talks about watching the Gilded Age.

[Josh Gondelman]

Interesting you mentioned that one. That one I don't watch. And actually, Matthew has to watch it without me.

[George Taveras]

Without you.

[Josh Gondelman]

I think I struggle with. Here's what I think. Here's what I. What I. I. If I'm going to watch a costume drama, it, like, has to be good.

[George Taveras]

Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I know that Gilded Age is good. Don't write in. But I mean, it has to be like the Age of Innocence. Like, I. It. I just can't. I can't commit to just, like, hours and hours of something if it's not, like, Scorsese level.

[George Taveras]

Totally. I also, I don't know if I haven't seen enough Gilded Age to know that if this is true of the show. But anytime something is in the past and everyone's British in America, like, hey, why the fuck are they talking like that?

[Josh Gondelman]

It really. It takes me. It takes me out of it. Even though, again, love all those. All those ladies.

[George Taveras]

Baranski.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Carrie Coon. Cynthia Nixon.

[George Taveras]

That's what I was going to say. Cynthia Nixon next. In my heart, still the governor. Never was.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I agree.

[George Taveras]

Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, Josh, let's say actually what your special is called.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, that's a great point. That's a great point.

[George Taveras]

It's called positive reinforcement. It's out on YouTube now. You can watch it whenever, wherever it is. It's a lot like this. Like, it's a lot like what we just did.

[Josh Gondelman]

I think Gayle King loves it. We love it. And you're gonna love it. Thank you.

[George Taveras]

Thank you. The rare two co signs. Gayle King and Stradio Lab.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Correct. Wow.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know. I'm like, what else has gotten those two. It's just you and Omari pretty much.

[George Taveras]

Where do you stand on Oprah? Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know, it's tough, actually. I know we have to wrap up, but if I can say one final thing, someone recently asked me, you know how Leon Nayfak does that Jerry Springer podcast? That's like a podcast that's all about reassessing Jerry Springer as a cultural figure. I really think someone should do that with Oprah in both and take her entire. Both positive and negative, because she has affected the culture in so many positive and insanely negative ways. And I would love to See, someone really grapple with that.

[George Taveras]

Yeah, that would be fascinating.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Whoever did it, she would punch them like a bug.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know the lawyers would be.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah. It has to happen after she dies, unfortunately.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I. I don't need. But even I'm not ready for a critique of Oprah. Like, it's like, there's something.

[Josh Gondelman]

She introduced us to Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah. But she can't control them. Once they're out in the world, she can't control them.

[Josh Gondelman]

She also introduced, like, white women to the Secret.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So the Secret's illegal.

[Josh Gondelman]

She literally. She literally. She literally is telling everyone to gain and lose weight every year. It's like, this year you have to gain weight. This year you have to lose weight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, she's just reflecting what we want to hear.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, that's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love Oprah.

[George Taveras]

I created Oprah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I love Oprah. Oprah, don't come for me. But also, listen, she gave us Barack Obama.

[George Taveras]

And Tom Cruise's marriage and Tom.

[Josh Gondelman]

Cruise marriage to Katie Holmes. She gave us a million little pieces and then also took it away. She had that big fight with Jonathan Franzen.

[George Taveras]

Maris and I talk about that so often.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's amazing.

[George Taveras]

It's so funny.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's also. Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Imagine being an author in a fight with the most famous reader in America who chose your.

[Josh Gondelman]

Who wanted to choose your.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And by the way, imagine coming out essentially unscathed and, like, being respected. Like, I understand that he's a punchline, but, like, people still love his work.

[George Taveras]

Yeah. And even many people who are, like, make fun of his kind of, like, cantankerous old timeiness and, like, bird watching are still, like. The sentences are incredible.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know. And they're right.

[George Taveras]

The corrections came out same day as Benfold's Rocking the Suburbs album.

[Josh Gondelman]

Wow.

[George Taveras]

Same day as Jay Z's Blueprint album. We're, of course, talking about September 11, 2001.

[Josh Gondelman]

Is that true?

[George Taveras]

I believe it is.

[Josh Gondelman]

And Mariah Carey's glitter.

[George Taveras]

Mariah Carey's glitter, of course. Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, folks, it's not. We managed to get to September 11, 2001. Josh, thank you so much for doing the podcast.

[George Taveras]

Sam, thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here with you.

[Josh Gondelman]

This was such a delight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I hope next time I'm in the same room as you guys.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes, next time. Next time we're going to be in the same room as Josh, and Oprah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Will be there to mediate.

[Josh Gondelman]

To mediate. That's right.

[George Taveras]

Because we've got some. We've got some Josh Bundleman.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's my Oprah impression.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's really good.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you.

[George Taveras]

It's exactly what it sounds like when she says my name.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[George Taveras]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay. Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Bye.

[George Taveras]

Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Podcast ends now.

[Josh Gondelman]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Josh Gondelman]

Now get back to work.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Stradiolab is a Production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

[Josh Gondelman]

Created and hosted by George Taveras and.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sam Taggart executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang Edited and engineered by Adam.

[Josh Gondelman]

Avalos Artwork by Michael Fails and Matt.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Grubb Theme music by Ben Kling.

[George Taveras]

Ice.

[Sam Taggart]

Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS with playoff elimination on the line, the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three, and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[George Taveras]

Lenovo is built for creators who don't wait for inspiration. They chase it with inventive tech, built in AI tools and seamless performance. Lenovo devices, powered by Intel Core Ultra processors are designed to bring your wildest ideas to life life faster. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel inside.

[Josh Gondelman]

Enjoy flexible financing, rewards on every purchase and free shipping, and students get special.

[George Taveras]

Offers when you create an [e-mail] hey.

[Josh Gondelman]

It'S Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to Deals time where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points.

[George Taveras]

Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from earnings Hershey's, Cheez.

[Josh Gondelman]

It, Kellogg's Gatorade, Smart Water, Skinny Pop, Oberto, Zoa and Activia. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings.

[George Taveras]

Shop in store or online for easy.

[Josh Gondelman]

Drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Apply.

[George Taveras]

Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. You're great at protecting your own personal information.

[Sam Taggart]

You probably even use things like two.

[George Taveras]

Factor authentication, strong passwords and and a vpn.

[Sam Taggart]

But as much as you try to.

[George Taveras]

Be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places.

[Sam Taggart]

That also have it and they might.

[George Taveras]

Not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock.

[Sam Taggart]

US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back.

[Josh Gondelman]

Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by.

[George Taveras]

The million dollar Protection protection package, meaning.

[Sam Taggart]

LifeLock will reimburse you up to the.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Limits of your plan if you lose.

[George Taveras]

Money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You can help protect it with Lifelock.

[George Taveras]

Save up to 40% your first year.

[Sam Taggart]

Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[George Taveras]

This is an iheart podcast.