"UFOs" w/ Roz Hernandez

Summary

StraightioLab - Episode: "UFOs" with Roz Hernandez Release Date: March 25, 2025 Hosts: George Civeris and Sam Taggart
Guest: Roz Hernandez

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Introduction

At [03:15], hosts George Civeris and Sam Taggart kick off the episode with light-hearted banter, setting a casual and humorous tone. They engage in playful teasing about wardrobe choices, which smoothly transitions into the main discussion.

Introducing Roz Hernandez

Roz Hernandez is warmly welcomed as the episode's guest at [09:08]. George and Sam share anecdotes about meeting Roz in San Francisco, highlighting her vibrant personality and long-time listener status. Roz brings a unique perspective as a researcher and podcast host herself, adding depth to the conversation.

Exploring the Straight and Queer Perspectives on the Paranormal

Roz Hernandez [38:03]:
"Ghosts to me are gay. UFOs, it's cars. It's very straight."
Roz introduces the central theme by categorizing paranormal phenomena through a cultural lens—ghosts embodying queer attributes and UFOs representing straight sensibilities. This distinction frames the ensuing dialogue on societal interpretations of the supernatural.

Sam Taggart [41:38]:
"The straight approach is to want answers deeply, scientifically and violently."
Sam elaborates on the contrast, suggesting that the straight perspective seeks concrete, often aggressive answers to mysteries like UFOs, whereas the queer approach embraces ambiguity and romanticizes the unknown.

Cultural Mythology and Barriers to Understanding UFOs

Roz and the hosts delve into the societal narratives surrounding UFOs, noting the prevalence of conspiracy theories and military associations that complicate public perception.

Roz Hernandez [38:39]:
"There's cons, it's... part of the reason I'm not obsessed with it as much because ghosts aren't as much conspiracy culture."
Roz explains her selective interest, favoring topics less entangled with conspiratorial thinking, which she associates more with UFO discourse.

Personal Experiences and Professional Insights

Roz shares her experiences hosting a podcast called "Ghosted," where she explores ghosts and UFOs without asserting belief. Her approach fosters open-ended discussions, encouraging listeners to ponder possibilities without necessitating definitive answers.

Roz Hernandez [48:22]:
"I'm not saying I believe any of this stuff. I'm here for anything is possible."
This statement underscores Roz's objective stance, promoting exploration over conviction.

Impact of UFO Discoveries on Society and Technology

The conversation shifts to the hypothetical effects of confirmed UFO existence on societal development and technological progress.

Paige DeSorbo [45:29]:
"We need like a third option... something to come on a Z axis and spin us in a different direction."
Paige suggests that discovering UFOs could introduce a paradigm shift, offering an alternative pathway to the linear, technology-driven progression currently dominant.

Humorous Theories and Speculative Narratives

Roz and the hosts engage in playful speculation about alien motives and appearances, blending humor with imaginative scenarios.

Roz Hernandez [60:11]:
"I have a theory that the aliens might just be like middle-aged white ladies that they want like turquoise jewelry."
This humorous take adds levity while illustrating the creative freedom in discussing extraterrestrial possibilities.

Optimism vs. Skepticism Regarding Alien Intentions

Roz expresses a cautiously optimistic view of aliens, perceiving them as intelligent beings potentially capable of aiding humanity rather than posing threats.

Roz Hernandez [68:05]:
"I believe that they are good. They are so much smarter than us."
This perspective invites listeners to reconsider preconceived notions about alien intentions, advocating for a more hopeful outlook.

Conclusion: Embracing the Unknown

The hosts and Roz conclude by emphasizing the value of embracing uncertainty and remaining open to possibilities, whether in the realm of UFOs or broader paranormal phenomena.

Ryan Seacrest [69:27]:
"Why is the unknown inherently scary? Why can't it be inherently exciting?"
This rhetorical question encapsulates the episode's overarching message, encouraging a shift from fear to fascination regarding the unexplained.

Notable Quotes

• Roz Hernandez [38:03]:
  "Ghosts to me are gay. UFOs, it's cars. It's very straight."

• Sam Taggart [41:38]:
  "The straight approach is to want answers deeply, scientifically and violently."

• Roz Hernandez [48:22]:
  "I'm not saying I believe any of this stuff. I'm here for anything is possible."

• Paige DeSorbo [45:29]:
  "We need like a third option... something to come on a Z axis and spin us in a different direction."

• Roz Hernandez [68:05]:
  "I believe that they are good. They are so much smarter than us."

• Ryan Seacrest [69:27]:
  "Why is the unknown inherently scary? Why can't it be inherently exciting?"

Key Insights and Takeaways

• Cultural Dichotomy: The episode presents an innovative framework by categorizing paranormal phenomena into queer and straight cultural lenses, fostering a nuanced understanding of societal attitudes.

• Embracing Uncertainty: Roz advocates for appreciating the mysteries of UFOs and ghosts without the compulsion to find concrete explanations, promoting intellectual curiosity.

• Impact on Society: Discovering UFOs could fundamentally alter technological and societal trajectories, suggesting the necessity for flexible thinking in the face of potential paradigm shifts.

• Optimistic Outlook: A hopeful perspective on extraterrestrial life encourages openness and collaboration, challenging the often adversarial narrative portrayed in mainstream media.

Conclusion

The "UFOs" episode of StraightioLab, featuring Roz Hernandez, offers a rich and engaging exploration of how straight and queer cultures perceive and interact with paranormal phenomena. Through humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful analysis, George, Sam, and Roz invite listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and societal narratives surrounding the unknown. The episode underscores the importance of embracing mystery and maintaining an open, inquisitive mindset in the pursuit of understanding the multifaceted tapestry of culture.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

Select DeWalt and Klein tools Lowes. We help you save valid.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The 328 selection varies by location while supplies last. See associate or lowes.com for more details on qualifying items. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's Stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items from Tropicana Lemonade or breakfast favorites like General Mills Cereal, Coffee Made Creamer, Quaker Cereal, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper? You mean the beanbag chair?

[Roz Hernandez]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge? Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ooh yes, that's smart.

[Roz Hernandez]

Glad we can agree on something easily.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Pool split and Send Money with PayPal. Get started in the PayPal app.

[Ryan Seacrest]

A PayPal account is required to send and receive money.

[Paige DeSorbo]

A balance account is required to create.

[Roz Hernandez]

A pool hey, it's me, Paige desorbo and I'm so excited to share my.

[Ryan Seacrest]

New shoe collection at dsw filled with my favorite styles and trends for spring.

[Roz Hernandez]

Because if you know me, you know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm kind of obsessed with shoes. And by kind of obsessed, I mean head over heels.

[Roz Hernandez]

You're going to love these shoes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So snag super cute styles like cute.

[Roz Hernandez]

Flats, fun heels and cool sneakers from the Paige DeSorvo Collection right now at your DSW store or dsw.com hootie hoo2.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Brand new show announcements today. Brand new shows. I repeat, do not skip this. First of all, if you could not get tickets in time to my special taping on April 1st at the Slipper Room in New York. I just added a late show and tickets are available for that now and they are only $10. And second, we are doing our first first ever Lesbio Lab Live at the Bellhouse on April 16th in New York. All queer women lineup and each of them is going to bring us A lesbian topic instead of a straight topic to teach us about. It's going to be groundbreaking. It's going to sell out. So get those tickets at the Bell House's website April 16th. And once again, if you want to go to my special taping and weren't able to get tickets for that first one that sold out, the late show is now on sale April 1st at the Slipper Room. Tickets to everything are in my bio and in Strader Labs Instagram bio. And that is it. We love you. Bye.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Podcast starts now. What were you saying, George?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is that sweater vest new?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yes. Well, it's my needless to say, it's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Vintage, I would assume.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, it's vintage, of course, but it's my boyfriend's dad's from the past.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, I'm so glad you brought this up via an answer to a question that I posed, because here's my question.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Stop trying to take credit. It was my answer.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Thank God I asked that question, otherwise we would be silent and have nothing to talk about. And thank God I am the one carrying this podcast on my back by ask.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If I didn't have the amazing and accurate answer of who it belonged to, we would not have anything for you to jump off of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If you don't think I did my own research and knew that that would be the answer so that I could bring up my pre scripted topic you don't know anything about.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Unbelievable.

[Ryan Seacrest]

All these years later. So here's my question for you. I recently, there was a shirt hanging in our bedroom. I put it on to go get the takeout. First of all, obviously so sexy so far. Would you agree?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's a shirt that does not belong to me. I'm putting it on. I'm sort of buttoning.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Only Cameron Diaz.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Only buttoning one button. Needless to say, bottomless. My cock is fully out. I. I go get the takeout and I come back and I'm like, Matthew, I've never seen you wear the shirt before. Like, is it new? And he was like, yeah, it's actually my, my dad's old shirt. And I couldn't decide whether that was. What am I meant to feel about that?

[Paige DeSorbo]

You mean like what level of eroticism?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, it's like I'm like, well, I was, in my mind, I was being so Cameron Diaz sexy by wearing my boyfriend's shirt, suddenly it belongs to my father in law. No, it actually broke my brain because I'm like, oh, well, okay then.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I think it's well structured. I think it's well made.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We should see your dad. I haven't seen him in a while.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think you're allowed to feel. You're still allowed to feel Cameron Diaz about it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Really?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm like, transient property. Like, feeling like. It's like when I put this on, I'm like, like, and it fit like a glove. I was like, God, it's like, meant to be. I was like. I was like, my boyfriend's dad's sweater fits so perfect.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, yeah, see, even as you're saying that, I'm like, I feel uncomfortable.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, but it does look really good on you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Thank you. And I've worn his shirts in the past. I don't know if you remember, I had the. It was this like, sort of Hawaiian ish, like small green leaves and like a blue shirt.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, wow. I know.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Exactly. It was a staple of my wardrobe, my summer, summer wardrobe. And that was his shirt. And I wore it till it was torn and shredded.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So there's something about our style needs to be monetized. I think one of those brands should release a Father in law shirt that is like, specific, you know, boyfriend jeans, whatever. This should be specifically, like, ever so slightly unfashionable and, you know, 70s targeting women.

[Paige DeSorbo]

George, this is so genius.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The Father in law. The Father in law shirt, Everlane.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The Father in law shirt. The way that you're, like, tapped into sort of, you know, New York media, fashion, etc.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I can make it happen tomorrow. Literally. Give me two seconds. I'll send. I'll send three texts. Within a week, you will see the Father in law shirt advertise to you on Instagram.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I just find it scary because, like, there's something about, you know, now you. I don't live in New York anymore.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So I'm like, so you could never make it happen.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I couldn't even imagine it. The way that you're like, oh, my God, that's a brand deal. Deal. That is like. And not even just like any. It's not like, oh, get 20 off. You're like, no, I have a new line. I'm releasing a new line.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, the way I'm full of good ideas but not full of follow through potential is something that should be studied in research labs across this great nation, including at Johns Hopkins, Columbia, various universities. But I do think that if I. I think my ideal career for myself would be like, if I was the Oracle of Delphi, but for branding opportunities. So people, if they want it, if they were like, you know, our brand Is getting stuffy. We need new ideas. Gotta go. I'm smoking some opium.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Opiates, of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And then I sort of. I'm just like, father in law collection. Release it on Valentine's Day.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I feel the exact same way about music. Oh, yeah, you really, like, God, if only, like, music didn't take, like, learning instruments and no being able to sing. Because other than that, I, like, really get it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And it's like, music is really interesting because you actually. It takes so much true effort and talent and, like, follow through to make it. And it is the one art form that is never rewarded because the music industry is shockingly, even worse than the film and television industry, which is really.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Scary, which is crazy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You have to work so, so hard and for nothing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Which is why I think I could be so good at it. Because, like. Because, like, I'm not going in with being like, I have the talent. It's like I'm skipping that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

An exam. Not to put you on the spot, but what level of abstraction are we talking about? Would your idea just be, like, shoegaze revival? Like, just that, like, you're. You're having a meeting.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, mine's even less specific.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm like. I'm literally. I'm the gladiator. Thumb up, thumb down.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I see.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, I'm.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You think you can predict if something will be a hit?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Basically.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

Am I allowed to talk? I don't know.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I know I keep looking at you.

[Roz Hernandez]

You guys look at me like, what do you have to add to, you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Know, we're trying to do?

[Roz Hernandez]

I'm like, I. I don't want to be rude.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We're gauge whether or not what we're saying is funny at all.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, exactly.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And you're the only audience member we have, and you have a very expressive face. And so both of us will, like, say something and then glance and say something and glance.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, exactly.

[Roz Hernandez]

I find it very funny.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, what do you think your secret talent would be that, like, people could pay you to get a little.

[Roz Hernandez]

I can't share that on the air. Come on now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, we were just talking about your.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, should we introduce our guest?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, yes.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Please welcome our dear friend, Roz Hernandez.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hi.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Hi.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're so excited.

[Roz Hernandez]

And listener of this pod. And listener of this pod for a long time.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Long time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I. We met in San Francisco.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're staying in the same hotel.

[Roz Hernandez]

My favorite thing in the entire world is seeing people not at home.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I agree. Oh, my God. In a different city.

[Roz Hernandez]

If I see Someone, like, at home, like, in my home city here, I'm like, hiding, you know, look, if I'm in the grocery store, I'm like, get this, you know, lacroix tower in front of me. I don't want to see. I'm not here to talk.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, yeah, because it's like seeing someone at home. You're like, I'm at home. This is like you showing up to my door.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I'm trying. It's inconsiderate, considerate, and it's invasive. And it's like you're. You're going door to door to, like, do Jehovah's Witness to me.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Stop doing Jehovah's Witness.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Stop doing Jehovah's Witnessing. Whereas, like, to me, our hour together that we had in that hotel was like the platonic, friendly equivalent of having an affair at a work conference. It's like two kind of unhappily married people meeting at a dental technologies conference. One of them is giving the presentation. He's being kind of bumbly, and he drops his pencil and then picks it back up. But then the woman, whose name is Megan, is actually really charmed by it. And she kind of makes eye contact with him as he's giving the presentation. Later on at the. The official lanyard event where everyone's wearing a lanyard, she goes up to him and is like, well, glad you were able to get that pen from the floor. It was really touch and go there for a second. And he's like, oh, my God. You saw that? Like, I thought no one was looking. And she was like, I was looking.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And he feels attractive for the first time in 10 years.

[Roz Hernandez]

This is hot. Okay. I didn't pick up on any.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So for you, it was just like a random gay guy that you met?

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That meeting was amazing. There was a point when at. In San Francisco. Cause we were there for Sketchfest, and so there were a lot of people we knew where. It did start to feel like I was running out of that lobby with my hand over my eyes. There wasn't, like, enough. Enough running into people?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, you left and Roz and I walked back to the other hotel together, just the two of us, which is what I'm referencing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, so when I met Roz, it didn't matter?

[Roz Hernandez]

No, it definitely mattered. But then we met.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, so that matters. You were being. You're like. I felt no connection with you, but it definitely mattered.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, no, that mattered. That was when we met. It was electric.

[Roz Hernandez]

It mattered for sure. Especially because we were all going into an elevator. And then. But there was an Act 2 where you went to the Eagle.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, And Roz introduced me to Rachel Dratch.

[Roz Hernandez]

And Rachel Dratch was there.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We sort of replaced. We actually. We recast you with Rachel Dratch. And she did a really amazing job.

[Roz Hernandez]

She was great. She could play anything.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She was phenomenal.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's amazing.

[Roz Hernandez]

I can't remember because it was like, the same week I was in Portland, and I can't remember if it was before.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It was after Portland. You opened for Joel in Portland?

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes. So I did that before.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It was before because then we were.

[Roz Hernandez]

Talking about Joel because that was such a weird week. Because as I got out of my Uber at the hotel, famous iconic drag queen Monet X Change was walking into the same hotel as me. And then we hung out. And then a couple, like three or four other friends of mine happened to be in Portland and we ran into each other at the strip club. Oh, yeah. And then we. And then. And then I had a layover because, like, a flight got canceled. It was so weird. Whatever. And two of my friends from LA were at the layover. It was, like, so weird and so fun.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I. I was telling Sam I had that exact experience this morning. So this is my first day in la. During this trip, I ran into two of my closest friends upon waking up today in two different locations. And I was like, maybe this is a small village after all.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, there are. The thing about Los Angeles, California, as someone who was born and raised here starting one year ago, is that there are around seven restaurants and maybe four coffee shops. And so when you go to any of those, you will run at least four people, you know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally. And this is also why people are always seeing celebrities out in the wild. And, you know, if you. When you first visit, you're like, wow, how lucky am I that I saw Drew Barrymore? And it's like, not that lucky, actually.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's like, no, that's. She has to go there.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Has to go there.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If she wants a coffee, that's where she has to go.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, totally. What part of. Do you say what part of town that I'm in?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I'm in Silver Lake.

[Roz Hernandez]

Silver Lake. Okay. I'm in the Valley, but yeah, I like. It's very spread out. But you. There's certain central locations where, like, see, there used to be the Arc Light was the movie theater.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes. I would always run into people at the Arc Light.

[Roz Hernandez]

The Arc Light is where you see every. Like, to me, that used to be center of la. But now it's not. It's been out of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Isn't it reopening. There's the most random topic.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, we're being so random.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So funny.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay, whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, no.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This.

[Roz Hernandez]

None of this is. This is not enough about me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. Yes. Yes.

[Roz Hernandez]

And I'm here.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[Roz Hernandez]

And you're here.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And we're so excited to have you.

[Roz Hernandez]

I love it here.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We were just talking about your proclivity.

[Roz Hernandez]

Proclivity.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Your fetish.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Your fetish for transition lenses.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay, I already told you, these are not transition lenses.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You keep wanting to imply that I am. That I am being inappropriate by saying.

[Roz Hernandez]

They'Re transitioning, that because I'm transgender. You're assuming that my glasses are then, by default, transition lenses.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would never. Roz.

[Roz Hernandez]

And now I don't feel comfortable looking at you. And I want it to be clear that these lenses are fully transitioned, but they stay transitioned.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So they're cisgendered glasses.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, they're trans.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, they're trans, but they're all. There's no transitioning.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They're not in the process of transitioning, is what you're saying.

[Roz Hernandez]

Correct. They have transition, and they are like this. And this is how they feel most comfortable.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I see.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Got it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And just to confirm, if you were to go outside, they would not transition any further. Search.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Can she make herself any clearer?

[Roz Hernandez]

I. I don't want.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're done transitioning.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah. That would be like. Yeah, dead. Naming my glass.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Roz Hernandez]

And making. You know, trying to force them. Convert them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I see what you're saying.

[Roz Hernandez]

To detransition. They don't. They've transitioned. They've made their mind up, and they are happy. This color. And these ones are yellow. I have purple ones. I have pink ones. I love them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's so inclusive that you have all those three colors. All three of them.

[Paige DeSorbo]

All three colors.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And all of them are trans.

[Roz Hernandez]

They're all fully trans. Okay. I don't have any transitioning lenses.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And no CIS ones either.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, I have a ton of CIS one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You have a ton of CIS ones?

[Roz Hernandez]

Of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. And how are they doing?

[Roz Hernandez]

They're fine, but they have been collecting dust because I am in my transitioned lenses era.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Got it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

I can't stop wearing them. I just love them because I feel like I can kind of, like, it's, like, boring sunglasses. Like, I feel like I'm, like, hiding a little bit from the. And it also is kind of like instant eye makeup. Like I don't have to do all that, you know, especially when I wear, like, pink ones or, like, whatever. I'm lazy. Okay. That's like.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is a real shortcut to glamour, to wear transitioned lenses, to use the correct terminology, transition. And I apologize for what I said before.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But it is. Yeah. You have just a nice, like, sheen of mystery. But not all the way.

[Roz Hernandez]

Not all the way.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Not all the way.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's the thing. Because if you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Although they are fully transitioned.

[Roz Hernandez]

They're fully transitioned. But the eyes are the window to the soul.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, that's right.

[Roz Hernandez]

And so you want to see the soul peeking through a little bit. And I think that these transitioned lenses really bring my soul out. Oh, because it's my.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Because they're self actual. Yes. It's authentic.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I don't know so much. Do you guys remember, like, being a child and like, Bono not to like Bono wearing glasses. Transitioned glasses?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And being like, what is up with that guy? Like, I remember being like, when is he going to take those off? And now all I want is to have them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I feel the same way. No, this is. So the reason I brought up initially your transitioned lenses, when before we were recording, is because I have been really wanting to try that look. Like, I want to be at the club. Not quite as much of, like, statement frames as you have now, but more like kind of Y2K. Like rectangular or oval ones.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Very thin frames. Just those. And we're talking like a tank and jeans.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's hot.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Over the summer, I was going to a birthday party that there was, like, on the invitation. It was like, dress chic or something.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I was like, okay, well, I don't really know what could elevate all my normal clothes. And then I was like, I'll wear transitioned lenses, but, like, they are on trend. They are trendy.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes, they're definitely trendy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

I didn't realize that. But I'm seeing them all over the place.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm seeing them all.

[Roz Hernandez]

I thought I had an original idea. I really did think, like, I was literally looking on a. A website to buy glasses. And I was like, that's a fun thought. And then now everyone. Now. I'm not saying I started it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, but maybe you did.

[Roz Hernandez]

I'm not saying I started it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm not saying you started it.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's. Sorry.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How long have you been living this lifestyle transitions?

[Roz Hernandez]

Just the past. Like, maybe five, six months. Oh, I'm so sorry. I couldn't.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, no, no. But basically, these are trending. And I was like, so I'll just go to a store and find them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Why is it. Why is it. Why is it that when something's trending, you can't just go to a store and find it?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right.

[Roz Hernandez]

So first of all, because then it wouldn't be trending anymore. Because then everyone would have it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Oh, my God. You want it before it's at Everlane? Like, sure. Everlane is going to have father in law jeans and father in law sweatshirts soon, but for now, you actually have to go directly to your father in law to get that sweater vest.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. So this is a curse of being a little too on trend.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You have to go to the correct vintage store to find 1990, 1999, like Prada sunglasses that are, like, purple tinted.

[Paige DeSorbo]

See, this is something. I have this thing. Well, you know, I'm humble, first and foremost.

[Ryan Seacrest]

One of the most humble.

[Paige DeSorbo]

One of the most humble people around in Los Angeles. And so I.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Not a tough guy.

[Roz Hernandez]

Give her a year.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But so when I feel like, oh, I'm noticing this, it's time to go get some myself, I'm like, the trend's probably already in Everlane.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But I guess I was just too ahead of the curve on this one.

[Roz Hernandez]

I do that all the time. Really Wait way too long with, like, oh, some record will come out that everyone is listening to, and I'm like, I don't want to. And then a year later, I'll listen to it. And I'm like, you guys. Or I do that with TV shows or something. Nobody even remembers it now. So I'm like, who do I talk to about this?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I do the same thing. And I actually think it is chic to do that with film and television. Like, I think in a year, if I'm watching Emilia Perez, like, that would be very chic. But I don't think it's chic to do it with clothing, because with clothing, you actually have to be on the cutting edge.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Or you have to have such a, like, uniform that you're the guy that wears blazers and, you know, whatever. Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

I mean, just pick you for me again, it's because I'm lazy. I am just like, I'm gonna wear what I feel like wearing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

And then it'll just never go out of style to me. If you're pick. If you're always trying to shop the trends, the current trend, then you end up with so much shit, and you got to figure out what to do with it. And you gotta find. So, like, I don't know. I've got. My closets are packed to the brim with things that I wear that are. They're already out of style. So I'll never have to worry about that. It's my advice.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

George, you are famous for recently not listening to songs when they come out.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's right.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Not listening to albums when they come out. Yes. I guess I want to. Gotcha journalism, you hear? And ask if you have listened to Abracadabra. Yes, abracadabra. Right. Cause you watched it. You watched the premiere.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Excuse me? I texted you that it existed.

[Roz Hernandez]

I have also, and that's very me to. Not that I have this time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So in my. Not in my defense, but what happened was I actually happened to be watching the super bowl halftime show live, and it premiered. Literally.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wasn't the.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, it was the Grammys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry. Yes, I happened to be watching the Grammys live, and it premiered during the Grammys, which I didn't know was gonna happen, so it was actually forced.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, so you were duped?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, I was completely duped. And I.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If it hadn't been.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If it hadn't been, then it definitely would have taken me, like, two weeks because I. I don't. I. I don't like having the cacophony of people's opinions in my head as I'm trying to enjoy something for the first time.

[Roz Hernandez]

Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And it's hard enough I always want to be up to date on the Oscar movies, and it's hard enough to do it with the movies. I don't also need that for the new Gaga.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Single movies are two hours plus. A song is so short.

[Roz Hernandez]

First of all, that needs to be an executive order. Movies cannot be longer than an hour 25.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, well, people get very upset when.

[Roz Hernandez]

You say that they want long movies.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, yeah. Film people will be like, leave them wanting more.

[Roz Hernandez]

PT Barnum said that film people, literally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If you say that, they will be like, so you're a complete dumbass. You just cannot appreciate art ever. And you basically are illiterate.

[Roz Hernandez]

Then I'm a dumbass with transitioned lenses.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. They'll literally be like, oh, so you want every restaurant to be McDonald's, then?

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes, I do. Because you know what? It's consistent. I can find it when I need it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No reservations.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No reservations.

[Roz Hernandez]

No reservations.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No one's doing bots on Rezi. Okay, Wait, should we do our first segment? Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now. Through March 25th. Spring in for store wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items from Tropicana Lemonade or breakfast favorites like General Mills Cereal, Coffee Mate Creamer, Quaker Cereal, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hey everyone. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Joe.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I'm Serena.

[Roz Hernandez]

And we are here with the iHeart Music Awards and David's Bridal who are.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sponsoring this podcast and we are so grateful to them. Thank you. Thank you for finishing my sentence.

[Roz Hernandez]

And we are here with our favorites, Daughton and Charity.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Where were you in bikinis in the snow?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Montana. Okay.

[Roz Hernandez]

She flew out and joined you guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Isn't it cold?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, it was.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We had bikinis in the snow. We risk getting hot hypothermia for those photos.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They were sick though.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't get bikinis in the snow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Just like an aesthetic. Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't know if him and I did that. If we did like Speedos in the snow, you guys would be like douchebags.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I would be like, let's see it. Come on.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would not complain to do stuff like that. He's like, no.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's going to be the name of this podcast episode. Bachelor Happy Our Speedos in the snow.

[Roz Hernandez]

David's Bridal.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If you're listening to branding a little bit.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Sponsored by David's Bridal Bridal Speedos in the Snow. Honestly, Honestly, Honestly, no one wants to think about hiv. But there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Things like prep.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Prep stands for pre exposure prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Your chances of getting it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It doesn't protect against other STIs, though.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So be sure to use condoms and.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sponsored by Gilead.

[Roz Hernandez]

Get this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Adults with financial literacy skills have 82%.

[Paige DeSorbo]

More wealth than those who don't.

[Ryan Seacrest]

From swimming lessons to piano classes, us.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treatment, start prioritizing their Financial.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] iheart greenlight.com iheart.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I want to know first. But wait, did you say people do bots on resi?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, yeah, that's like a big thing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

What does that mean?

[Ryan Seacrest]

There's like actual investigative journalism about this. So I don't want to misspeak, but one of the reasons why getting a reservation right now, especially in New York, is so difficult is because people have automated. People will like, like automate getting reservations that they then basically like give out in the black market.

[Paige DeSorbo]

This town makes me sick. I'm disgusted by this town.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We mean sort of every major city where this happens.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm disgusted by this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I mean, it's the thing with like.

[Roz Hernandez]

Another reason to go to McDonald's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, another reason to go to McDonald's. Although give it time. No, it's Everything that should be simple is getting more difficult and everything that should be difficult. Like, let's say committing large scale financial crimes has never been easier.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow. And then you know what the worst part is? It's like, I know my ass is gonna be one that gets like audited.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like the moment I'm like bad at taxes, it's over for me.

[Roz Hernandez]

Let's just talk about taxes. I love them.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Do you? What's your favorite part?

[Roz Hernandez]

Just like, like what do they call the forms where they don't take any money out until later?

[Paige DeSorbo]

1099.

[Roz Hernandez]

Like a 10 night, a W9. So fun.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I love it. I can't wait to like, like 10 years from now be like, God, I really, really do know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, I'll be like, I will never learn.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'll be like, I just have to know I'm ready.

[Roz Hernandez]

People are always like, make sure you, you keep a little bit of that for when they come calling for it. Bitch. Absolutely not. You pay me money, I spend the money.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would like to not even be involved in looking at how much money I have. I would like, I would like other people to be in charge of my bank accounts, my paychecks, any kind of paperwork. I don't want to even be able to log into Chase and see what my balance is.

[Paige DeSorbo]

George, you are so speaking my language. I want essentially chastity play. But for my own money, I would.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like to maybe have a. A personalized little newsletter, preferably in kind of a fun voice, to be honest. That is sent to me once a quarter. Let's say Spotify wrapped. Yes, a Spotify wrapped of that quarter. It's like, this is what you've sort.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Of done this month you gagged on some Chipotle.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly. And then maybe at the end, even like two or three very kindly worded suggestions, like, so it looks like your Uber spending is kind of through the roof.

[Roz Hernandez]

Proof.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Mama.

[Roz Hernandez]

Ms. Mama.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What if you, you know, keep this number in mind, try not to go over it in one week. Yeah, that I can handle.

[Roz Hernandez]

That would be nice. But that's not how it is. That is not how it is unless you hire someone.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I actually think, you know, so many creatives are out of work in this day and age. So many writers, graphic designers, et cetera. Actually, graphic designers have never been doing better based on what I'm seeing on Instagram. But writers certainly are unemployed. I think we need little personalized magazines. It's like, I shouldn't have to do any research into my own financial history, but I should get a magazine that is as glossy as Vanity Fair. That tells me everything I need to know about what I've done.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah. Maybe that's what writers. A little gig they can do.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think it'd be really nice.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. It's like how I think everyone should have a personal assistant, even if you can't afford it.

[Roz Hernandez]

God, I need to be so it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Should be funded by the government.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'd be so good at having one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God. I treat them so well. I would give them the biggest Christmas bonus you can imagine.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I like to pay the money.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I'd be like, oh, my God, go home early.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Seriously, 100%.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Could you imagine?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I bet you would be really good at having an assistant.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, my God, I'm so unmanageable. I'm not an adult whatsoever. Adulting's hard.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Am I right, folks?

[Ryan Seacrest]

We've talked about this. Adulting is hard as a concept is so, you know, sort of lame and cliche. Millennial. And yet, damn if it ain't true.

[Roz Hernandez]

I'm sorry. She got popular for a reason.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She's been that girl from day one.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah. Yes.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And it also, like, just simply used to be easier. Like, you used to just have your one job and then you go home at 5pm and then, like, now it's like, you're always doing this random stuff.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And it's like, yeah, I can't do all my random stuff and my taxes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know if I say one more sentence, I'm going to sound so stupid. Like, I know I can actually.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm getting to that point where it becomes, you know, there's a way to be charmingly dumb and charmingly incompetent. And then you say one more thing and you actually seem like a complete loser. And I know I'm getting to that point.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I have a sentence that is the dumbest thing I've ever thought. So whatever you say, I can. I can one up you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, what is it?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, apparently it's dumb to say you want movies to be a reasonable time. So now you all.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I want you to go first because I really think.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I didn't have anything in mind. I just. I. It's like I'm aware of how I perceive people when they talk about how difficult life is for them and they have all the privileges in the world. And so. So I'm doubly aware when I am doing that because I know how it comes across and yet I can't help it. Like, it's just the state I'm in.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, well, okay. I can say mine though. Okay. This is my dumbest thought and sentence ever. When you said the word magazine, I was like, maga. And then I was like, zine. Like magus. I was like.

[Roz Hernandez]

I was like, george finds.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What he.

[Roz Hernandez]

Learned at the Eagle that night.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Maga. I'm scared, zine. I'm scared safe. Oh, wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Magazine is actually very interesting because there.

[Roz Hernandez]

Should be a magazine.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. How have they not thought of that? Because they're not very smart. Brother, are they geniuses. No one knows. But I think magazine. Okay, here's a great. Ready? All right. Maga. Very right wing. As a term, zine is the most left wing possible. You're like fairy. You know, you're kind of like a. A non binary freelance guitarist in Seattle. And you are self publishing a zine.

[Roz Hernandez]

Right, Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So there's something so beautiful about the word magazine because it combines the two elements of American society.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's our future. It's the only way forward.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. And yet publishing is dead. So magazines are dead, which means ship.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Is dead, which is why we're collapsing as a country.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's right. Thoughts?

[Roz Hernandez]

Our first segment today is our first segment.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Our first segment is stray shooters and RA's, you know the drill. Basically, we are gauging your familiarity with and complicity and straight culture by asking a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or this other thing and then one.

[Roz Hernandez]

And I'm allowed to ask questions for any questions. I'm allowed to ask questions.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Ra's, stop right there.

[Roz Hernandez]

Maybe I was special. Okay, let's go.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Upholding law and order or seeming people.

[Roz Hernandez]

Listening at home, they add the song later, just so you know, because I'm like, where's the song?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, it comes later.

[Roz Hernandez]

Pew, pew, pew. So just picture this. I'm. I'm doing this right now in silence.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Upholding law and order or seeming tall. Oh, then shorter.

[Roz Hernandez]

That one. Seeming tall and then shorter. I'm six foot one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The importance of being earnest or the disturbance of your home office being unfurnished.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh.

[Roz Hernandez]

Service of your home office being earnest.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Healing your inner child or hunting a crocodile.

[Roz Hernandez]

Crocodile.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Simon Says. Or Simone Biles.

[Roz Hernandez]

Biles.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Reheating your nachos or repeating your mantras.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's good.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, that's cute. Reheating the nachos.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Skims. Shapewear or Grimm's fairy tales.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, oh, Grims Fairy tales.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Going to the philharmonic or voting no on a bill. That's moronic.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, Phil, fail me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Viva Las Vegas. Or diva. That's major.

[Roz Hernandez]

Diva. That's major.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So true.

[Roz Hernandez]

Las Vegas.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know.

[Roz Hernandez]

I have a love hate with.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I don't get it. I've never been, and I don't get it.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, you should go and then make up your mind.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Have you been a lot?

[Roz Hernandez]

A ton.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That actually tracks.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wait, why? Tons.

[Roz Hernandez]

Because it's not far.

[Paige DeSorbo]

What do you do when you go there?

[Roz Hernandez]

Go to the Burbank airport. You're flying, you're there within before you even realize that.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

They don't even come by with a drink cart.

[Paige DeSorbo]

What do you like to do there or dislike to do there?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, what I love is, like, there's areas off the Strip which are like, where the locals are. I like that. Because what kind of trip?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Bars and restaurants and stuff or.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, okay, well. And I'm a big antique store, kind of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And there's good antiquing in Las Vegas there.

[Roz Hernandez]

Really? Yeah. They've got antique malls that are more towards the downtown area, and I have a lot of fun with them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you gamble?

[Roz Hernandez]

No, I don't. But have you. Have you both seen the Last Showgirl Girl?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Here's the thing with the last Showgirl. No is the answer. But I've been absolutely waterboarded with so much footage from that film that it's like, I can't imagine that there's something I would be surprised by if I were to see it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Would you agree? Something about it is like, sometimes I'm like, is it actually a movie? Like, sometimes I think it's tour only.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's a press tour only.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, that was a big part of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It because it's like, and by the way, I support that narrative that Pamela Anderson deserves.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm down for it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

A second or a this, like, sort of third act, if you will. Like, I'm. I'm down for it. I'm excited for her to do more movies, but. Sorry, I know when a movie looks.

[Roz Hernandez]

Like a flop, I'm. Did you, like, not happy about this? I loved it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Really?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, they did a thing in Los Angeles that was like, this one theater in Century City was, like, showing it for a month before it came out. And you better believe I bought my tickets and I loved it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Really.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's been this specter. Because we've actually this conversation many times and potentially even on air, that it is a press tour in search of a coherent movie, even though we have not seen the movie. And it would be funny if after all this time we watched it and both loved it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That would be kind of a fun twist.

[Roz Hernandez]

There's fun to be had with it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I've heard Jamie Lee.

[Roz Hernandez]

Jamie Lee is really something. And there's like, Bob Mack Yikos, and it's an interesting story of. What do you do when you. The gig's up?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. What do you do when the gig's up?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, I'm trying to find that out right now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We do need to rate you on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm going to say 942 doves.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I have to agree wholeheartedly.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Should we get into the topic?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would love to, because we gave you the option of telling us ahead of time what the topic was, and you opted for the second option, which is to surprise us on air, which.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Obviously comes with risks. What if we get upset and rewards, like, a risk.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. Oh, and that's why you love Vegas.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's why.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Because of all the gambling ros.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What is your straight topic and what is straight about it?

[Roz Hernandez]

UFOs.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love that.

[Roz Hernandez]

Have you done it before?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, we did outer space.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We did outer space once, but UFOs is very different.

[Roz Hernandez]

UFOs is different.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, go. What is straight about it?

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay, so I have this podcast, it's a comedy podcast, but it's called Ghost Did And I talk about ghosts. And then I've, like, over the years incorporated more UFOs as, like, part of a. Yeah. Concept. And I've never been. I've never been as interested in UFOs because they feel straighter to me. Like, ghosts to me are gay. Okay.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

UFOs, it's. It's cars. Like, it's.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're they're, it's power dynamics. It's like, are they gonna destroy us or are we gonna destroy them?

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's war.

[Roz Hernandez]

It's war. Possibly. But it's also like first of all to know what things are in the sky to me is very straight. Okay. I. To me everything up there is unidentified flying object. I don't know what the any of that is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The only thing. Sorry, go ahead.

[Roz Hernandez]

But you know, a lot of people be, oh, that's an S14 flying. I don't know what the hell. Yeah, I don't know what that is. But so to me, I don't know. Oh, that's a drone. I still don't know what a drone is. Okay. And I'm not afraid to admit it. So to me, knowing stuff in the sky is straight. I think that UFOs also I'm obsessed with alien abductions and especially like ones of. It's weird because they used to be in their butt era and like they're not anymore. They used to be really into sticking things in people's butts.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

And I think that that's a very straight thing to like play to think that that's like a statement.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh sure, sure, sure.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's like fear of it. It's like that's the weirdest thing that could ever happen. Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I can't tell you how aliens.

[Roz Hernandez]

But I can't tell you how many straight identifying people I've talked to that are like I'm kinky and I'm like, well what does that mean? The butt. Right girl, that's the kink.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

You know what I'm saying? But so aliens are straight in that way. Cuz they're like o. This is really going to get them talking. But you know, they really, they think, they think they ate okay by, by going to the butt.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Huh.

[Roz Hernandez]

So that there's, that I mean there's just. It's also kind of like are they. If so words to believe these aliens are like, they're just kind of flying around peeking like that's very like, oh, going for a drive with my buddies. You know, it's very that. And I don't know, it's just to me the, the culture around it is also very straight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's a lot of conspiracy.

[Roz Hernandez]

There's cons, it's. Yes. That's part of the reason I'm not like obsessed with it is because like, like ghosts aren't as much conspiracy culture. But you start talking about UFOs, it turns into the government, it turns into the Military. It turns into like all of this. Before you know it, it's like full on. They want our resources and we have like, what girl?

[Ryan Seacrest]

And there's a barrier to entry. You have. It's like an entire mythology. You have to know to be part of the conversation. Whereas with ghosts you can kind of be like, did you feel that chill? And that's kind of all you need.

[Roz Hernandez]

Did you feel that chill is like one of the more gay things a person can say. Yeah, like, it's fun to be like, o. I just, like, I just felt something bigger than what you can see.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly. Okay, so this is sort of what I wanted to. This is my way into this topic, which is. I think this goes for things up in the sky and also supernatural. Supernatural. Paranormal, sure.

[Roz Hernandez]

Both paranormal.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Paranormal phenomena. I think that the gay approach to the sky and to the paranormal is to be almost like fascinated in a romantic way with the mystery, whereas the straight approach is to want answers deeply, scientifically and violently. So it's like you were saying, like, the sky is straight. I think, for example, astrology is very queer. And that's like the sky or like stargazing, like just being sort of in wonderment of rainbows. Rainbow. Yes, exactly, exactly. Rainbows. Going to Iceland to see the northern lights, like all that stuff is very like, God, isn't the world just so beautiful? But it stops there. It's just like, how amazing.

[Roz Hernandez]

Infinite.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes. How amazing to look, to gaze at infinity, to gaze at all the unknowable. And how great to sort of like. Like be liberated from my small, tiny problems on earth by accepting that I am part of this larger context. So that's like the sort of queer mentality. And then the straight mentality is like, what are they not telling us? What are they not telling us? What is that? And so, and, and, and then to make it so literal as there is a literal alien spaceship that is coming down to Earth, it's like, couldn't you be a little more kind of like abstract with it? What if it's a little. What if it's some purple sparkle in the wind? What if it's a smell? What if it's, you know, a flash of a light?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, this is what I do like about UFOs is like, I love a little sort of writing prompt.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, of course.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like where it is like, oh, my God, it could be anything. What does it look like?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, yeah, that's fun. I always, like, people are always coming to me looking for answers, and I always tell them it's called the unknown for a reason, because it's unknown. And that's fun. If we knew these answers, answers, I would be out of business. I got nothing to talk about on my podcast and so I have to start a RuPaul's Drag Race podcast or something. Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Someone needs to find, someone needs to do that.

[Roz Hernandez]

So I have this podcast where we talk about things that none of us know the answers to, which is fun. It's fun to ponder, of course, and to just sort of think about what could be possible. And then you hear these stories of things that kind of imply that some things could be real. But I do agree that there is a, a type of person that is very much like, I need the answers. And I'm like, it's okay to not know everything.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And actually it can often be more productive to just ask open ended questions and sit with the uncertainty rather than like need something to end with a satisfactory answer.

[Roz Hernandez]

Absolutely.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And who knows, maybe, maybe there will be an answer down the road. And maybe you're just part of this multi generational interrogation. And it's like with each passing day and with each passing generation, we learn a little more. And then maybe assuming a lot of things change in this country, we live long enough to see another generation and then our grandkids learn something.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I do think it would make sense. We're at a point where there's got to be some sort of discovery when it comes to either ghosts or space.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, you're ready for answers.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm ready for.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're like, we've been asking for generations. Time to get to the next level.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm sort of like, I'm ready to be the generation where like, you know how there's like the pre Internet generation. You're like, oh my God, those guys are so fucking stupid. Like I'm ready for the, the pre go to be like the pre Ghost generation, the pre UFOs generation where it's like, can you believe they literally just thought they were like the only people.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's like people that used to believe in phonology.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

People that used to, you know, whatever before various advances in science and medicine, people used to do things that now seem so primitive and so you want that but for either ghost or aliens.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. And I'm also feeling like right now our timeline is like so linear and so like technology based.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Where it's like this came, then this came, then this came. And that made society like this and that made society like this. Where I'm like, we need like a third option. Like, we need, like, something to come on a Z axis and sort of spin us in a different direction.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's very interesting. You think that discovering something about paranormal phenomena would, like, shake up the almost like, technological, determinist path we are on, and then suddenly we could take down Mark Zuckerberg literally.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think it's the only way forward, to be honest.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's fascinating. And actually, honestly is very. In conversation with sort of mysticism and alternative queer history. And hersteries, of course, because I'm so.

[Roz Hernandez]

Used to listening to the two of you, I'm like, I'm just sitting here listening, and I'm like, whoa. But I'm like, looking at you as you're doing the podcast. It's so.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We can sometimes be bad about bringing the guest into a conversation that they themselves.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, no, no, no. I'm loving it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. In your. You do sometimes discuss alien related things in your work?

[Roz Hernandez]

In my work, yes. As a researcher, sure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What have you. Like, what narratives. Like, what narratives about UFOs interest you and what. And what is sort of straight about them, would you say?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, to me, I'm never super interested in, like, here's the story. I saw something in the sky. Yeah. I want to hear the people that got taken up there and some stuff happened to their butts and then they came back down.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do those stories exist?

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes, they do. Documented cases. Now, I'm not saying. I'm not saying that makes them real, but I'm saying they are documented. But there are people that have gone to the press and said, I went up there. You know what I've heard even more than that is, like, men that get taken up there and they're like. And then the hud, this lady came out of the UFO and she started riding me, and she was. She was like, really hot. They. They real. Like, they really keep going with the story. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And so these men, they get back to Earth, go directly to the precinct to tell their story, to tell everyone.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes. But it's, you know, a lot of theories are like, that. They're trying to, like, get human sperm.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh. To make mutants that are half alien, half human, I guess.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

See, this to me is like, again, almost like, too literal. Like, you think they reproduce the same way we reproduce aliens?

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't. Well, they're humanoids.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're humanoids, George.

[Roz Hernandez]

So who knows, right? But I mean, here's the thing with me that I always need to make clear is like, I'm not saying I believe any of this stuff. I'm so here for like, anything is possible. Let's. Let's explore it. But especially things that are documented. I'm like, let's just talk about it and see if it's real or what we think. I don't know. It's fun to me. I think it's fun to talk about.

[Paige DeSorbo]

In the documentation cases that you've read, is the trope true of it's like always in the country?

[Roz Hernandez]

It seems to be. But I will say there's a Netflix one one the documentary. Like maybe it's a two or three parter about a woman that got taken out of her window in Manhattan and multiple people claim that they saw her floating in the air out of her window.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, can multiple people be wrong? I don't think so.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, it's never happened.

[Ryan Seacrest]

See, this is interesting.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I want a city girl who goes to space.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, it's like finally Carrie Bradshaw. Like it's so often it's like, like in the country and it's someone who like, you know, hasn't seen another living soul in five weeks.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And then hallucinating.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But if it's Carrie Bradshaw, I mean, she just went to an opening last night.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, the new magazine just dropped.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The new magazine just dropped. She was in the middle of texting this really cute cartoonist for the New Yorker.

[Roz Hernandez]

She's not gonna make something up to get something up.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She has enough going on in her life.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, I couldn't help but wonder if the alien could probe me. Could I probe Big's heart?

[Roz Hernandez]

There you go.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's her at precinct. She said that. That's a documented statement she gave to the police officer.

[Paige DeSorbo]

God.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And then she waltzed right out in.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Her little tutu in a city where. Where all the women have seemingly everything is the only thing that makes me unique, that I've been to space.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's good. That's good. So I'm just saying it happens all over the place.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, that's cool.

[Roz Hernandez]

If I could be held in space.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Could I hold space for Big?

[Roz Hernandez]

Holding space is. Is. I would not say straight. No, no, that's definitely not holding.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The idea of holding space is like a classic example of queer people just like fully hallucinating.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I'm holding space like.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, you're not. What the are you talking about?

[Roz Hernandez]

But I will say holding someone in your long humanoid fingers and taking them up to space is straight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, kidnapping.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, you know what? Okay. You know what gets me about UFO stuff? What I really like is it's just like in like infinite. Everything's infinite, right? Okay. There's so many things. There's so much. So it's like they're there. Oh, I sure folks are there.

[Roz Hernandez]

It makes sense they're gonna be there. A lot of people think it's the ocean.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How broad is your point of view? Yeah. Like if you broaden your. The aperture of the camera enough, then it's like, yeah, everything exist.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Honey, they're there. It's a matter of like, are they here? Like, yes, that I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Also, what is the thing that Elon Musk believes in where it's like, oh.

[Roz Hernandez]

Where do we start?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, no, this is a non. This is like more sort of sci fi. Yeah, yeah. It's like this theory that there are many different simulations of the world. And so statistically speaking, we are in a simulation right now.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I hate that one.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, there's. There's a lot of people that think that kind of stuff about ghosts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ye.

[Roz Hernandez]

That there's like an alternate different dimension and sometimes they kind of get a little.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

And so like, like kind of the. The others. Remember that movie where it's like, oh, we're the ghosts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry.

[Roz Hernandez]

Sorry to ruin it. Sorry to ruin it. But you know, it's like that kind of idea that the ghosts don't. They think that we are ghosts in their house.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I just want to say if there are any ghosts listening, you're the ghost. Ghost. Where are the people?

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're inclusive about a lot of things.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I want to be like crystal clear. Yes, we're the people.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're the ghosts.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes, I agree with that because I.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Will not have people in my comments saying, well, maybe you're the ghost. I'm not.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I don't know it. We can see ourselves and each other. We're sitting here. Where the hell are you?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Where the hell is. Probably in the other dimension.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Literally in the other dimension. You're. Knock, knock, knocking. We're saying. Not right now.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Ghost. Ghost scum.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ghost scum.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, Nerd.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Nerd.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What if we did have a ghost listener now they're like really offended though.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, they're going to be in the comments.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But even worse though. Okay, you're in a real reputation now I'm.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Now I'm playing with it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Even worse than them being in the comments, which I can handle, is like, what if we really offended a ghost? And they're just like really sad and crying and they're like, wow, I thought I was part of this straight away.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, you're not. Grow Some bones.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, literally. Grow some bones and flesh and then we'll talk.

[Roz Hernandez]

You're not.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You're not pay rent like the rest of us.

[Roz Hernandez]

Are you by any chance familiar with the. The most important moment that's ever happened to me in my life, which is the time a ghost called me the f. Slur.

[Paige DeSorbo]

What?

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay, so you. That hasn't reached your algorithm. Okay. Cuz it just recently went viral. Like this past.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Congratulations.

[Roz Hernandez]

It's been going viral again. Like because multiple people have posted it over the year. Or like it's only been a year.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Sure, sure.

[Roz Hernandez]

Some whatever. But yeah, a ghost calls me that and I get into a fight with the ghost.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Where was this?

[Roz Hernandez]

It was at a strip club in Vegas.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Really? You love a strip club. Comes back, what do you want?

[Roz Hernandez]

A straight club?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I do want to talk about strip club.

[Roz Hernandez]

Portland has gay people's strip clubs.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I know. Yeah, yeah. Vegas on the other side. Other hand. But that's like a thing with Portland, right?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I didn't know that.

[Roz Hernandez]

They have everybody.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Portland, like famously. It's like. What is it about Portland that makes it as the strip club capital? There's just like this rich history of strip clubs. Important. It's like a thing the tourists do where they're like, well, we have to go to the strip club.

[Roz Hernandez]

It might be like most strip clubs per capita, but there's at least two that I know of that are male strippers. But not in the Magic Mike way.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No. Which is straight. They're like queer.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they have like trans dancers and they're fun.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, so let's put a pin in that.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And so a ghost in Vegas called you the f. Slur in a strip club.

[Roz Hernandez]

Which is funny because I. Okay, listen to this. And I know I sound like I think I'm famous or something, but so I was at the strip club in Portland. One of the strippers goes, oh my God, are you running from the clip from the show? Yeah. And I'm like, yes, that's me. And he was. Couldn't believe it that I was there. I felt very famous.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I think first of all, congrats.

[Roz Hernandez]

Thank you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I think, because obviously the story which you're absolutely edging us about.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I know.

[Roz Hernandez]

Wait, wait.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is about a strip club. I'm sure it's like especially viral among strippers.

[Roz Hernandez]

You don't even know from. If you just watch the clip alone. You don't know it's in a strip club because we were actually in the dressing room of the strip club. Not really. Whatever. But then not two days ago. So I went to the strip club twice on this last Portland night. Two different nights. The second night with this other stripper I met. He. And they call themselves stripper. I don't know if you want to. Dancers, whatever the terms. But he messaged me. He goes, hey, are you in a video where a ghost calls you a. And I was like, yeah, that's me. And then he's like, yeah, I just saw it. And I'm like, where? Like. So then I got a link to somebody else had posted it, because people just love to do that.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, spill. Oh, what's the story?

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's just that a ghost showed up, called you the f. Slur, and then left.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes. So I thought that the. Well, we were, like, doing a machine scene where it, like, allegedly makes ghosts speak to you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I see.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh.

[Roz Hernandez]

And I thought I heard it say fat. And it clarified.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It clarified.

[Roz Hernandez]

It clarified.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I see. I see.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes. And then I ended up kind of going back and forth and getting in a fight with them. Go to instagram.com.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry to make you recount a story that has already gone viral.

[Roz Hernandez]

It's already been viral and bad, and now it's viral again.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What would your ideal interaction with a ghost be?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, the cameras better be rolling, because I'm not doing that stuff if it's not for content purposes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, really? You don't want to just have, like, a private moment where the ghost is like, I see you.

[Roz Hernandez]

And you're like, nope, don't care.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You don't. It's not romantic for you. You just.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, so I started this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Your brand is ghost ghosts, so you need to.

[Roz Hernandez]

So you need one of my brands. Yes, but. So I started a YouTube series where I go to haunted hotel rooms by myself because I have no budget. So it's literally just me with camera going to haunted hotel rooms, and I invite a guy from Grindr to join me to go ghost hunting with me. And so that's been really fast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So you want a ghost to be on camera while you're doing your YouTube series.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And then that's. That's the TV deal right there. Ra's. She was called the f Slur by a ghost. Then she saw one with a Grinder hookup.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Now, that's iconic.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Do you hook up with the Grindr hookup?

[Roz Hernandez]

No.

[Ryan Seacrest]

On camera.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's. It could be an additional brand that's behind a paywall.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ooh. Okay, what is the creepiest hotel room you've done?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, I don't know there was a place. So that clip of me being called that word was from a short lived television show I was on called Living for the Dead, which was Kristen Stewart's ghost hunting show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Roz Hernandez]

And we stayed in multiple haunted hotels, but there was one that we stayed at in a town called Bisbee, Arizona, which is such a cute place. Love it. They have their own pride. It's very like, it's very like an artsy community.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, ghosts will flock to those communities.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, well, it's an old mining town. So like a minor. Well, not that kind of minor. Different you're bad, you're bad kind of minor.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I didn't know how that would come out. I was thinking my favorite show is Chernobyl and there's an episode where all the miners go in to fix Chernobyl and they all have to get naked because it's so hot and they're so hot.

[Roz Hernandez]

Wow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So that's what I was thinking when I said ooh, a minor. But it sounded like I was thinking saying like ooh, the person under 18.

[Roz Hernandez]

Minor, not a minor.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

Isn't that an ER and an or?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay, so that place, the scariest place.

[Ryan Seacrest]

See Arizona to me isn't Roswell. What's the ghost place? Roswell. That is in Arizona. Correct.

[Paige DeSorbo]

New Mexico.

[Ryan Seacrest]

New Mexico. Oh my God.

[Roz Hernandez]

Of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's literally in the title of the show.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, so fine. Arizona and New Mexico go. Are the two UFO places from like the two alien.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, they love the desert. I, I have a theory that the, the aliens might just be like middle aged white ladies that they want like turquoise jewelry. Yes, that's what I think.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You know what they haven't done yet? Or maybe they have sort of sort of the same thing where it's like we're actually the ghosts and they're the people. Have they done yet that like we're actually the aliens and they're the earth, they're the native.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Native. Okay, that would be interesting because it would also be sort of a metaphor for colonialism.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like we're talking like, like cool, you know, alt sci fi movie where it turns out this entire time we've been aliens.

[Roz Hernandez]

But don't spoil it. Yeah, it's me again.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, he'd be spoiled.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's the village but for alien. Sorry to spoil the village.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh God.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh my God. I still haven't seen it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Me either. I actually was so happy when it was spoiled for me because I was like finally. I don't have to go see it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But by the way, sorry, but that's a genius twist.

[Roz Hernandez]

Wait, what is the twist?

[Paige DeSorbo]

The twist that they're in like modern world.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So, you know, it's a skip ahead a few minutes if you don't want to. It's a, it's a. They're living in. It looks like they're living in the olden times. Okay.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay. But it is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And there's all the. And there's weird sounds happening all the time. So you're like, is it aliens this, that that turns out it's just that it's like planes and trains and they're just like living in a secluded community where they don't have consciousness contact with the contemporary world.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, that sounds nice, right?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, living in that community. Yeah, you know, it depends. I think I would imagine the people in power are not people that sort of value progressive social values. That's true.

[Roz Hernandez]

Let me be in power.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[Roz Hernandez]

It'd be fun.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, this is always.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Want it to be old fashioned. Yeah. Okay, cool.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You'll be nice.

[Roz Hernandez]

No unplugging. Put away the phones.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, we're always on our phones these days.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Seriously. Let's go back.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you think there will be a breaking point where there's a real genuine backlash and you see like an actual significant group of people like abandon smartphones? I hope, because so far it's almost like it's just like the vinyl trend. Like it, you know, it's like there's a few people that are doing the whole like using a dumb phone or like putting your phone in a different room or whatever. But it's not a real social movement.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think social media media will like really change.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like I think it will be like you will use it if you're trying to make a career in social media, but you won't really use it as like a way to be funny to your friends ever.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, will we look back on this period of time the way that we look back on people smoking in restaurants? You know, it's like it reached this pinnacle and then now only a few people smoke.

[Roz Hernandez]

Only cool people.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Only cool people, George.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I, I hope so.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Only the aliens.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, that's why we need an.

[Roz Hernandez]

Unfortunately I cannot predict, but. Oh my God. There's this woman I talk about non stop, but I'm like basically her publicist. Her, she's in England and she's, she makes predictions with asparagus. I'm always talking about her on my podcast cuz she's made, like, accurate predictions.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How does she use the asparagus?

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't really know. She, like, just like throws it down. Okay, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen on social media. But she's this British woman and they call her the asparamancer. And she does it raw, but then she cooks it later and eats it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, that's nice that she. That she upcycles it. She. Yes, you can use it raw for predictions, but then you can make a delicious side and then your pee is to it.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, but she. She's great. The esperamancer. If we ask her, she'll tell us.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The future we have to have her on.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I guess.

[Roz Hernandez]

Girl, I've been trying, you know, by.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The way, a pretty expensive habit because asparagus, one of the fancier vegetables. You know, it'd be one thing if she. Well, I do too, of course, but it would be one thing if you were making predictions using, you know, a prepackaged baby spinach, but to get asparagus each time, you know, I fucking hate asparagus. Really.

[Roz Hernandez]

However, she did predict that Kamala was.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Gonna win, so she was sort of a Kamala is brat type pretty.

[Roz Hernandez]

She was the is. I just. I think that that particular batch was.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

Too many pesticides on that one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know what, though? This is interesting. It's almost like a metaphor for the elite liberal establishment because it's like she's using asparagus. Asparagus is such a liberal elite coated vegetable. And it's like we're looking back on.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The last three decades.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly. Like we're looking back at the last three decades and it's like, oh, God. The entire time we were using asparagus.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And like, it's time to use, like, frozen peas. Yeah. Something accessible to all.

[Roz Hernandez]

You two. You two are smart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We have to write that down. Like the entire time she's been using asparagus.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay, our final segment.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't know. I don't know what to. I'm.

[Paige DeSorbo]

There was a pause.

[Roz Hernandez]

There was a pause.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I got scared, I think, you know.

[Roz Hernandez]

It could be there was dead air.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Roz.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, I'm having fun.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Final thoughts on UFOs. I actually. Sorry, I know I asked a question immediately. Didn't let you answer. I'm like, I'm struggling. I'm like, have we discussed the actual topic at hand, UFOs enough. Or did we go to aliens, to ghosts? You know, like, UFOs? A big part of it is also.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You mean literally, like the flying object.

[Roz Hernandez]

Like a flying vehicle.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is a vehicle. It's also kind of giving. Giving. It's also like cruise ship. Like it's a large part of what makes it majestic and scary is how big it is. It's a different fear than the individual alien who looks weird. You know what I mean?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's something that can.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But it's so disappointing to me. It's just a vehicle. Like I. If I'm not thinking about an alien driving it.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, there's definitely somebody driving it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If there's somebody driving it, I like it. If it's a self driving ufo, like they're just here to take pictures. I'm a little upset.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's boring.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I, I don't like to know that the, the, the other life forms out there are playing it so safe.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You know, have some, have some courage and come here and take a picture yourself.

[Roz Hernandez]

What about crop circles?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, well that's another M. Night Shyamalan classic.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, a lot of M. Night Shyamalan.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I obviously think crop circles are kind of fab.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think they're fab. I'm still confused. Like what's the theory on what they are?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Just that aliens make them aliens.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah. Come down and it's like. It's like a rival arts and crafts that feel. Crop circles to me feels a little bit more queer cuz it's artistic but.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And sustainable. They're using nature.

[Roz Hernandez]

But here's the thing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Language.

[Roz Hernandez]

Being obsessed with Mel Gibson.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, true, true, true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But being obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix.

[Roz Hernandez]

There we go.

[Ryan Seacrest]

By at least.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You know what can I. Another. I'm chock full of stupid sentences today. Another thought. I've always thought of crop circles. I thought it was like a spaceship taking off and that was like the market left.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, that could be a two.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But I don't think of that as actually.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it's also like there's no right answer.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, that's the thing. It could be absolutely like. I can't believe you thought that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dumbass.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's not dumb.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, well, I think we should do our final segment. Okay, let's do our final segment because let's be honest, we really covered it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm actually so hopeful for the. I'm still. The more I keep thinking about it, the more I'm like, no, I do think UFOs are going to kill them and they're going to change everything for the better and I think so you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Think it'll be more alien rather than ghost?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think it really? Could be. I think it could be alien. Right?

[Roz Hernandez]

I'll tell you the closest thing I have to a belief on this stuff.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. Okay.

[Roz Hernandez]

I believe that they are good. I don't think that they are. I think they have. They're so much smarter than us. They are above us. They have the capability to harm us, but I don't think they are. Sometimes I think they want to.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Sometimes I do think they'll farm us and, like, eat us. And then I'm like, but. But, like, you know, every time I've eaten so much chicken.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To be with your friends in a little. To be with your friends in a giant pot, it's like the last day on Earth.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The last hot tub.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The last hot tub.

[Roz Hernandez]

Absolutely. You got a lot.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And then each.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And then each time, the aliens are, like, going in and taking one of them, and you're like, oh, my God. Bye, Tyler.

[Roz Hernandez]

It's my turn.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

I am telling you right now, dip me in some Tapatio and. And you can have me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow. And that's just.

[Roz Hernandez]

I'm ready, but I'm ready to go up there. If they're looking for, like. If they start. If they started, like a. We need. We're looking for people to teach us about people. Bye. Yeah. So nice meeting you all.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So maybe the most radical position of all is to just be optimistic about aliens. To be like, they are not a threat. They are a good thing, and they can, in fact, help us. And, like, why. Why is the unknown inherently scary? Why can't it be inherently exciting?

[Roz Hernandez]

No, it's exciting for sure, because it can be anything but. Okay. One of the most convincing documented cases of all time was from the 90s.

[Paige DeSorbo]

God, all the 90s.

[Roz Hernandez]

The aliens were very big in the 90s. But there was a case in Africa of this school of children that believe that a UFO came down and an alien came out and spoke to them telepathically. And they were interviewed by the BBC back then, and they've been since reunited and interviewed about it as, like, millennial adults.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And all of them agree.

[Roz Hernandez]

They still are all on the same page. And what they say that the. The aliens. The message that they had was, you need to take care of this planet because you guys are killing it. I truly believe that the aliens look down at, like, this Earth crumbling, and they're like, bitch, you are our neighbors, and we gotta look at your ugly ass house, so fix it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you think they look. It's like, when they look at the Earth, it's like us watching, like, a Trashy reality show. And we're like, if only someone could teach that woman that, you know, she can't be constantly, like, ignoring the things that she's suppressing. She just has to, like, embrace her flaws and then she could finally reunite with her friend or whatever. Like, they want what's best for us, and they see us selfish, entertaining.

[Roz Hernandez]

So you just watch.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. Maybe we're fun for them.

[Roz Hernandez]

Oh, I'm sure we're fun for them. Some of us more than others. But yes, I definitely think that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, that's fun. Oh, to be watched.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, to be watched. To be observed, even.

[Roz Hernandez]

So they're good. I think they're straight, but they're good.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Roz Hernandez]

Which is a thing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, you can be straight and good. Yeah, there's many documented cases of that.

[Roz Hernandez]

Actually, there's a lot of document cases.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like Tom has Hanks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, exactly.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hanks is a great example. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Julia Roberts.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yes.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, let's just do this. Wait. Let me tell you one I like. Well, Elon Musk.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, that was a test. That was a test.

[Paige DeSorbo]

What if we stand him? That would be funny.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, it wouldn't. I'm sorry. I brought the room down.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, it's okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, wait.

[Roz Hernandez]

Let me a straight that I'm. Oh, who's a straight? Oh, oh, Stephen Colbert is a great. He's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Oh, he was so good in Strangers with Candy.

[Paige DeSorbo]

God, I miss him.

[Roz Hernandez]

So good in that. And he's so nice and funny.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

Never met him, but he seems nice.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, you would love him.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, yeah, you would love him.

[Roz Hernandez]

I like him.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, get a chardonnay in him. And he is a laugh rider. He's crazy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, Catholic. But should we do our final segment?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Let's do it.

[Roz Hernandez]

Let's do our final thing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible snacks like Pepperidge Farms Goldfish and Kettle chips or sweet treats like Keebler Cookies, Hostess Snack Cakes, M and Ms. And Ben and Jerry's plus then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Joe. And I'm Serena and we are here with the Iheart Music Awards and David's Bridal, who are sponsoring this podcast.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And we Are so grateful to them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Thank you. Thank you for finishing my sentence.

[Roz Hernandez]

And we are here with our favorites, Dotton and Charity.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Where were you in bikinis? The snow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Montana. Okay.

[Roz Hernandez]

She flew out and joined you guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Isn't it cold?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, it was we.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Bikinis in the snow.

[Roz Hernandez]

Getting hypothermia for those photos.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They were sick, though.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't get bikinis in the snow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Just like an aesthetic.

[Roz Hernandez]

I don't know if him and I did that. If we did, like, Speedos in the snow, you guys would be like, douchebags.

[Ryan Seacrest]

In the snow would be like.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I would be like, let's see it. Come on.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would not complain. I beg him to do stuff like that. He's like, no.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's going to be the name of this podcast episode. Bachelor Happy Hour. Speedos in the Snow.

[Roz Hernandez]

David's Bridal.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If you're listening to branding a little bit. Sponsored by David's Bridal. Bridal Speedos in the Snow. Honestly, Honestly.

[Roz Hernandez]

Honestly.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No one wants to think about hiv.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But there are things that everyone can.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Do to help prevent it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Things like prep.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Prep stands for pre exposure prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Your chances of getting it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It doesn't protect against other STIs, though.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So be sure to use condoms and.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sponsored by Gilead.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hi, this is Debbie, your blinds.com design consultant. Oh, wow. A real person.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yep.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm here to help you with everything.

[Roz Hernandez]

From selecting the perfect window treatments.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I've got a complicated project.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No problem.

[Roz Hernandez]

We make the complex simple, and I can even help schedule a professional measure and install.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I didn't realize you did that.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, we can also send you samples fast and free. Wow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But scheduling's always a nightmare.

[Roz Hernandez]

Not with blinds dot com.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We're on your schedule.

[Roz Hernandez]

And there's no haggling, no pressure, no hidden fees either.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hmm.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I just might have to do more. Oh, okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What?

[Roz Hernandez]

Whatever you need.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How about you tell me what you had in mind? Okay, then. So the first room we're looking at is for guests coming in. Blinds.com has covered over 25 million windows, all backed by a 100% satisfaction guarantee. ShopBlinds.com now and save up to 45%.

[Roz Hernandez]

On select styles, rules and restrictions may apply.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So you may be scared because the music is also put in afterwards.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's not fair. I'm a listener.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You have to do acapella.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Ye. But our final segment is called Shout Outs. In this segment, we pay homage to the grand strait tradition of the radio. Shout out. And shout out to anything that we are enjoying. People, places, things, ideas. George.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I'll do it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. What's up, world travelers, travel bloggers, anyone who has boarded a Delta flight recently, I want to give a shout out to those Biscoff. That's what they're called, right?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yep.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Those Biscoff cookies that they give you. And especially when a gay little flight attendant gives you two. And so of does a little like, you know, wink, as though it's your little secret. Because let me tell you something. Those cookies, unlike some other things you might be served in a travel experience, they have a real kick to them. There is flavor there. They have put the ginger snap flavor. There's some. It's like the right level of sugar. They are crunchy. They're not like, stale like you might expect. There is also actually enough of them. There are two per pack, and if they give you two packs, that's four. That is way more than the sun chips that you get if you order sun chips in that same Delta flight, which is approximately two and a half chips in one bag. And I actually had a really shocking experience the other day. I brought home one of those Biscoff cookies and as a kind of little surprise gift, gave it to my husband. And two days later, I see it uneaten on his bedside table. I say, I make some joke, oh, you still haven't eaten your gift I got you. He goes, yeah, I was sort of gonna throw that out and hope you wouldn't notice. I said, I'm sorry, does it not sound appealing to have these crunchy, delicious, ginger snapish cookies that I got from my flight? He's like, no, that actually sounds, like, really bad. I would never, like, willingly eat those. I only eat them because they're only thing available in the air. I was like, oh, so we basically are completely different people and have nothing in common.

[Roz Hernandez]

Just. Am I allowed to talk at this part?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, this is, you know, sort of. The comedy is coming from the fact that I'm still talking. But anyway, so I want to give a shout out to Biscoff and to everyone who enjoys them. But now I would love to hear your thoughts.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, so you're saying that you enjoy them on land?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, Actually. And you know what else? I recently had a job where one of the office snacks was those little packets of Biscoff cookies, and I would eat them in the office.

[Roz Hernandez]

I didn't even know those existed.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I didn't know you could.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Would. Do you disagree with me and think they're just sort of like something you have on the air, but then you would never have them in real life.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah. To me, it's kind of like when you get fries and you, like, eat them without any sauce. Like when you're. I mean, maybe as a New Yorker, you can't relate, but, like, when you're driving home or something, like, oh, I'll just eat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But that's different than good fries you get at a restaurant or something.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, but, like, I would never eat them without a sauce. But I just, like. Because of the situation, it, like. Like, whatever. I don't know. But anyway, see, now I have many times been like, I'm not really in the mood for that right now. So I put it in my purse, and then I get to the hotel or home or whatever, and I'm just not interested, really. I know, but I love them.

[Paige DeSorbo]

When I do, I see where Matthew's coming from.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Damn.

[Roz Hernandez]

When it's right. It's right, though, when you're up in the air.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I'm also sure the gesture was still fun. Like, I bet he liked the gesture. But it's also one of those things. It's like getting a gift from, like, a toddler where you're like, oh, of course. Where you're like, thanks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, I know it is a. I know it is like, a not a good gift, strictly speaking, but to me, if someone gave me one of those, I'd be like, ooh, fun. And I would eat it on the spot.

[Roz Hernandez]

Was this. Be honest. Was it his birthday? Can you imagine? You. Or is this an anniversary?

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is literally, like, our anniversary. And that was my gift to him.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So I do understand where he's coming from.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I get it. But I actually recently was looking at a recipe where the pie. For a pie, where the pie crust was made of Biscoff cookies. And I have.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

Damn.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I guess I'm just a stand.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You're. You're a bizarre.

[Roz Hernandez]

I love them with a coffee, and it just, like, melts in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I just like the ginger. I like the crunch and I like the ginger.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah, I love ginger.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, I will go now. Okay. This is complicated. What's up? Everyone around the globe, whether you are driving an unidentified flying object or simply car. I want to give a shout out to knowing how to parallel park. I have learned how to be good at parallel parking in a way that feels against my character and it feels against type. And I used to take pride in the fact that I'm bad at driving and be like, look at me, bom bom bom. I'm flying around and I don't know what I'm doing. Now I'm whipping into parking spots like you wouldn't believe. And it looks like I do it with the hand.

[Roz Hernandez]

And I'm one hand, one hand and.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm flying straight into this parking spot and I'm like, this makes me, I feel very straight. Honestly feel very masked when I do it. I feel very like high school jock even. And in a way that is like, it gives me a crisis of identity but also is like makes I'm like, damn. I can really rest easy now because I can drive around and it's not scary. So I want to give a shout out to my driving ability. It's sort of like, you know, sorry to bring him up. Harry Potter finding out he's a wizard. You know, it's a, it's a pressure and it's also, you know, a gift. So I will not be spitting on my own gifts. I will be accepting them. And I accept that I'm a good driver. Xoxo, Sam, that's beautiful.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hang up and try again.

[Roz Hernandez]

I mean, I have something to say that is. It's going to get me in trouble. Oh, I'm going to get canceled. I used to be so good at parallel parking. Pre transition. That's all I'm saying.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh my God, that is so funny.

[Roz Hernandez]

I started taking estrogen, baby. I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but I can't. You know how many I've hit? I've hit cars. Of course I've hit cars.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's the clip.

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, I'm sorry but I don't know if they're related. Maybe it's because I usually have. I don't today, but I usually have.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Jumbo nails and that also coincide you. You feel like the jumbo nails me.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Maybe are making it worse.

[Roz Hernandez]

Could be something but I'm very bad at it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

Very bad.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's interesting.

[Roz Hernandez]

And I was so good at it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Interesting.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, well, small price to pay.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. The world is so mysterious. Okay, would you like to do a shout out whenever you are ready.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hey people. It's hard to think of a name for the people.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Roz Hernandez]

Hello, people at home listening on the airwaves. This is Roz, and I want to tell you I want to give a shout out to the. To the Easter season.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh.

[Roz Hernandez]

Specifically, we know Jesus is back, but another thing that's back this year. Tootsie Roll eggs. Yeah. They burst onto the scene, at least to my knowledge. Loud. Last year. They're Tootsie Rolls shaped like eggs with a candy coating. Crunchy and chewy at the same time. They are so delicious. From what I hear, there is an egg shortage in this country right now. There is a Tootsie Roll egg shortage as well, because I can't get them up my mouth. Tootsie Roll eggs.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love that. Wow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I love that. That as well.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm gonna be honest with you. That sounds absolutely disgusting.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, it doesn't really sound like my.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Style, but I really appreciate the, like, innovation in the food space that is taking place.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I just love a new thing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, it's fun.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's fun.

[Roz Hernandez]

It's egg shaped.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, we need. We deserve a new thing.

[Roz Hernandez]

But by the way, they're, like, little. They're not.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, they better be.

[Roz Hernandez]

It's not like a big egg.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, can you imagine a giant ass? Tootsie Roll? Egg ostrich.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Tootsie Roll.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's literally all, like, stuck on your teeth.

[Roz Hernandez]

I would do it. I'd give it a shot.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You like the taste of a Tootsie Roll?

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

Neither do we do.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're having the exact same conversation as with the Biscoff thing, where both you and I came into it. So, like, so ready to be a right. And then the other two people are like, I don't know.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, I'm right. I don't give a shit. They're fucking good.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow. You're maybe the first person I've ever heard that loves Tootsie Rolls.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. To me, Tootsie Rolls are such a classic flop candy.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's insane. You people need to connect with your inner child.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Here's what it. Here's what tissue rules are. To me. It's like before science was advanced enough to make good candy. That's what they made.

[Roz Hernandez]

You lost your mind. Okay, I feel very attacked right now. We need. We're doing a [e-mail]. what do you think?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I would love to know.

[Roz Hernandez]

We'll do discussion or delicious.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And we'll do a. We'll do a poll when we release this episode. Yeah, I'm curious. I have to say, Raz, I don't think it's gonna go your way.

[Roz Hernandez]

I believe it is. Okay. They came up in a conversation earlier today with a friend of mine and could name drop, but I'm gonna choose not to.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Is it someone with a big public influence?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Stephen Colbert?

[Roz Hernandez]

Yes, it is. And this friend of mine said I'm ordering them right now on the Internet because that sounds like the most delicious thing I've ever heard.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Rachel Dredd.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow. Sounds too famous to go into a store and buy them.

[Roz Hernandez]

So I'll have you know I'm not the only person in this world that thinks Tootsie Roll eggs sound like a delicious thing to me.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's like a tax write off they keep making because they just need to say, like, we, we lost this much money this year.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They're also like purely aesthetic seasons.

[Roz Hernandez]

They're hard to find. I'm not kidding you. There is an egg shortage. They find.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And like a. In like a Halloween bowl. It's like you need a few Tootsie Rolls just for variety, but not because anyone actually wants them.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They are the non marshmallows.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Exactly.

[Roz Hernandez]

No, that is Necco Wafers, candy corns, like that kind of shit is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I actually also agree about candy corn.

[Roz Hernandez]

Tootsie Rolls. No.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I'll eat a candy corn if it's around Halloween.

[Roz Hernandez]

Can we, can we ask the two of them?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. Do.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Do you guys like Tootsie Rolls?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I do. Like, yes, we have one yet. Olivia, I love.

[Roz Hernandez]

Thank you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Two out of two.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Whatever this podcast, those are allies. This podcast is officially over. Thank you for doing this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm like, wait, can we end on that note?

[Roz Hernandez]

Sure. Can I give a shout out about something I want to tell people about and.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, no, we do want to do that. Where can people find you? Where can people listen to you? Where can people get more of your infectious energy?

[Roz Hernandez]

Well, yeah, so I got that podcast. It's called Ghost, hosted by Ross Hernandez. I'd love for both of you to come on something.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We'd love to.

[Roz Hernandez]

I talked to like, funny people, cool people, famous people, whatever about just ghosts. And we have, we have all kinds of fun conversation. Ghosts, aliens, psychics, whatever, all that stuff everywhere. You get podcasts every Monday. But then this is very straight gay on topic. I had this genius idea about, you know, how like, stand up comedians, like, especially like straight stand up comedians can just like go to like the Haha room hole in like the middle of like smaller cities in Haha Wyoming. I can't do that. Okay. But I want to. So I have this idea Where I'm gonna do that at gay clubs. So I'm doing like these 8 o'clock shows at gay clubs, like, all over the country. And I'm literally driving and I'm hoping to do dozens.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's so fun.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Are you planning them as you go?

[Roz Hernandez]

No, I'm planning them now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, so it's like a full tour.

[Roz Hernandez]

Yeah. I haven't announced all the dates yet. Because I haven't confirmed all the dates yet. But there's definitely quite a few confirmed all over the country. And so.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And this is standup.

[Roz Hernandez]

Stand up. Yeah, just like doing stand.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I'm like, where are you going in Chicago?

[Roz Hernandez]

But I'm like, maybe we need to all do this more. Like, I want it to become a thing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Here's what I'll say to you.

[Roz Hernandez]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Performing at gay bars is easier for women than men.

[Roz Hernandez]

It is, but it's also very different when it's a special event that is ticketed. No, that's true.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If it's ticketed and you have to.

[Roz Hernandez]

That's what I'm doing. No, no, no. I'm not just, like, showing up. I'm like, this is a ticketed event. Okay.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Some of the worst shows in my life have been at gay bars.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I know.

[Roz Hernandez]

I have also experienced that as well. But so, yeah, I'm just like, doing this fun tour that's like, going to be super gay and like, you know, give everyone just, like, you know, a good hour and a half to just sort of be gay and take our minds off at times.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So more than 25.

[Paige DeSorbo]

More than hour. 25. So longer than a movie should be.

[Roz Hernandez]

With free meet and greet included.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wow.

[Roz Hernandez]

You can leave if you want.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's interesting.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Right near transitioned lenses.

[Roz Hernandez]

So go to instagram.com razhernandez for all of the info. Thank you for letting me use the platform.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Shout out to everyone who makes this podcast who loves Tootsie Rolls. We are grateful.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We love Tootsie Rolls as well. We've never said anything bad about them.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And are so happy to be part of this community.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The Tootsie Roll community and family.

[Roz Hernandez]

When's the last time you both had a Tootsie Roll?

[Ryan Seacrest]

1994.

[Roz Hernandez]

There's your problem.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, maybe it is an acquired taste and we didn't like it because we were kids and kids can't appreciate something.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's not what's going on here. Okay, let's end.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Bye.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Bye. Podcast ends now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Now get back to work.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Stradiolab is a Production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Created and hosted by George Severis and.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Sam Taggart executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang Edited and engineered by.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Adam Avalos Artwork by Michael Fails and.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Matt Grubb Theme music by Ben Kling.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Roz Hernandez]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

Than your local shop.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Famous smoke.com promo code clay the Unshakables.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Podcast is kicking off season two with.

[Ryan Seacrest]

An episode you won't want to to miss.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Join host Ben Walter, CEO of Chase.

[Ryan Seacrest]

For Business as he welcomes a very special guest, Chairman and CEO of JP Morgan Chase, Jamie Dimon hear about the.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Challenges facing small businesses and some of the oh moments Jamie has overcome. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Chase Mobile app is available for select mobile devices.

[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

JP Morgan Chase Bank NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 JP Morgan Chase &.