Loading summary
Ryan Seacrest
Pro Savings days are back at Lowe's with limited time savings on the supplies pros need. Get up to 40% off select major appliances plus save an additional $100 on.
Paige DeSorbo
Every $1,000 you spend on select major appliances.
Ryan Seacrest
And don't miss your chance to activate and earn three times the points on.
Paige DeSorbo
Select DeWalt and Klein tools Lowes. We help you save valid.
Ryan Seacrest
The 328 selection varies by location while supplies last. See associate or lowes.com for more details on qualifying items. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's Stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items from Tropicana Lemonade or breakfast favorites like General Mills Cereal, Coffee Made Creamer, Quaker Cereal, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper? You mean the beanbag chair?
Roz Hernandez
Aren't we getting a mini fridge? Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.
Ryan Seacrest
Ooh yes, that's smart.
Roz Hernandez
Glad we can agree on something easily.
Paige DeSorbo
Pool split and Send Money with PayPal. Get started in the PayPal app.
Ryan Seacrest
A PayPal account is required to send and receive money.
Paige DeSorbo
A balance account is required to create.
Roz Hernandez
A pool hey, it's me, Paige desorbo and I'm so excited to share my.
Ryan Seacrest
New shoe collection at dsw filled with my favorite styles and trends for spring.
Roz Hernandez
Because if you know me, you know.
Ryan Seacrest
I'm kind of obsessed with shoes. And by kind of obsessed, I mean head over heels.
Roz Hernandez
You're going to love these shoes.
Ryan Seacrest
So snag super cute styles like cute.
Roz Hernandez
Flats, fun heels and cool sneakers from the Paige DeSorvo Collection right now at your DSW store or dsw.com hootie hoo2.
Ryan Seacrest
Brand new show announcements today. Brand new shows. I repeat, do not skip this. First of all, if you could not get tickets in time to my special taping on April 1st at the Slipper Room in New York. I just added a late show and tickets are available for that now and they are only $10. And second, we are doing our first first ever Lesbio Lab Live at the Bellhouse on April 16th in New York. All queer women lineup and each of them is going to bring us A lesbian topic instead of a straight topic to teach us about. It's going to be groundbreaking. It's going to sell out. So get those tickets at the Bell House's website April 16th. And once again, if you want to go to my special taping and weren't able to get tickets for that first one that sold out, the late show is now on sale April 1st at the Slipper Room. Tickets to everything are in my bio and in Strader Labs Instagram bio. And that is it. We love you. Bye.
Paige DeSorbo
Podcast starts now. What were you saying, George?
Ryan Seacrest
Is that sweater vest new?
Paige DeSorbo
Yes. Well, it's my needless to say, it's.
Ryan Seacrest
Vintage, I would assume.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, it's vintage, of course, but it's my boyfriend's dad's from the past.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, I'm so glad you brought this up via an answer to a question that I posed, because here's my question.
Paige DeSorbo
Stop trying to take credit. It was my answer.
Ryan Seacrest
Thank God I asked that question, otherwise we would be silent and have nothing to talk about. And thank God I am the one carrying this podcast on my back by ask.
Paige DeSorbo
If I didn't have the amazing and accurate answer of who it belonged to, we would not have anything for you to jump off of.
Ryan Seacrest
If you don't think I did my own research and knew that that would be the answer so that I could bring up my pre scripted topic you don't know anything about.
Paige DeSorbo
Unbelievable.
Ryan Seacrest
All these years later. So here's my question for you. I recently, there was a shirt hanging in our bedroom. I put it on to go get the takeout. First of all, obviously so sexy so far. Would you agree?
Paige DeSorbo
Of course.
Ryan Seacrest
It's a shirt that does not belong to me. I'm putting it on. I'm sort of buttoning.
Paige DeSorbo
Only Cameron Diaz.
Ryan Seacrest
Only buttoning one button. Needless to say, bottomless. My cock is fully out. I. I go get the takeout and I come back and I'm like, Matthew, I've never seen you wear the shirt before. Like, is it new? And he was like, yeah, it's actually my, my dad's old shirt. And I couldn't decide whether that was. What am I meant to feel about that?
Paige DeSorbo
You mean like what level of eroticism?
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, it's like I'm like, well, I was, in my mind, I was being so Cameron Diaz sexy by wearing my boyfriend's shirt, suddenly it belongs to my father in law. No, it actually broke my brain because I'm like, oh, well, okay then.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, I think it's well structured. I think it's well made.
Ryan Seacrest
We should see your dad. I haven't seen him in a while.
Paige DeSorbo
I think you're allowed to feel. You're still allowed to feel Cameron Diaz about it.
Ryan Seacrest
Really?
Paige DeSorbo
I'm like, transient property. Like, feeling like. It's like when I put this on, I'm like, like, and it fit like a glove. I was like, God, it's like, meant to be. I was like. I was like, my boyfriend's dad's sweater fits so perfect.
Ryan Seacrest
Like, yeah, see, even as you're saying that, I'm like, I feel uncomfortable.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
You know, but it does look really good on you.
Paige DeSorbo
Thank you. And I've worn his shirts in the past. I don't know if you remember, I had the. It was this like, sort of Hawaiian ish, like small green leaves and like a blue shirt.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, wow. I know.
Paige DeSorbo
Exactly. It was a staple of my wardrobe, my summer, summer wardrobe. And that was his shirt. And I wore it till it was torn and shredded.
Ryan Seacrest
So there's something about our style needs to be monetized. I think one of those brands should release a Father in law shirt that is like, specific, you know, boyfriend jeans, whatever. This should be specifically, like, ever so slightly unfashionable and, you know, 70s targeting women.
Paige DeSorbo
George, this is so genius.
Ryan Seacrest
The Father in law. The Father in law shirt, Everlane.
Paige DeSorbo
The Father in law shirt. The way that you're, like, tapped into sort of, you know, New York media, fashion, etc.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, I can make it happen tomorrow. Literally. Give me two seconds. I'll send. I'll send three texts. Within a week, you will see the Father in law shirt advertise to you on Instagram.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, I just find it scary because, like, there's something about, you know, now you. I don't live in New York anymore.
Ryan Seacrest
So I'm like, so you could never make it happen.
Paige DeSorbo
And I couldn't even imagine it. The way that you're like, oh, my God, that's a brand deal. Deal. That is like. And not even just like any. It's not like, oh, get 20 off. You're like, no, I have a new line. I'm releasing a new line.
Ryan Seacrest
You know, the way I'm full of good ideas but not full of follow through potential is something that should be studied in research labs across this great nation, including at Johns Hopkins, Columbia, various universities. But I do think that if I. I think my ideal career for myself would be like, if I was the Oracle of Delphi, but for branding opportunities. So people, if they want it, if they were like, you know, our brand Is getting stuffy. We need new ideas. Gotta go. I'm smoking some opium.
Paige DeSorbo
Opiates, of course.
Ryan Seacrest
And then I sort of. I'm just like, father in law collection. Release it on Valentine's Day.
Paige DeSorbo
I feel the exact same way about music. Oh, yeah, you really, like, God, if only, like, music didn't take, like, learning instruments and no being able to sing. Because other than that, I, like, really get it.
Ryan Seacrest
And it's like, music is really interesting because you actually. It takes so much true effort and talent and, like, follow through to make it. And it is the one art form that is never rewarded because the music industry is shockingly, even worse than the film and television industry, which is really.
Paige DeSorbo
Scary, which is crazy.
Ryan Seacrest
You have to work so, so hard and for nothing.
Paige DeSorbo
Which is why I think I could be so good at it. Because, like. Because, like, I'm not going in with being like, I have the talent. It's like I'm skipping that.
Ryan Seacrest
An exam. Not to put you on the spot, but what level of abstraction are we talking about? Would your idea just be, like, shoegaze revival? Like, just that, like, you're. You're having a meeting.
Paige DeSorbo
No, mine's even less specific.
Roz Hernandez
Okay.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm like. I'm literally. I'm the gladiator. Thumb up, thumb down.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, I see.
Paige DeSorbo
Like, I'm.
Ryan Seacrest
You think you can predict if something will be a hit?
Paige DeSorbo
Basically.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, yeah.
Roz Hernandez
Am I allowed to talk? I don't know.
Paige DeSorbo
I know I keep looking at you.
Roz Hernandez
You guys look at me like, what do you have to add to, you.
Paige DeSorbo
Know, we're trying to do?
Roz Hernandez
I'm like, I. I don't want to be rude.
Paige DeSorbo
We're gauge whether or not what we're saying is funny at all.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, exactly.
Paige DeSorbo
And you're the only audience member we have, and you have a very expressive face. And so both of us will, like, say something and then glance and say something and glance.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, exactly.
Roz Hernandez
I find it very funny.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, what do you think your secret talent would be that, like, people could pay you to get a little.
Roz Hernandez
I can't share that on the air. Come on now.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, we were just talking about your.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, should we introduce our guest?
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, yes.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Please welcome our dear friend, Roz Hernandez.
Roz Hernandez
Hi.
Paige DeSorbo
Hi.
Ryan Seacrest
We're so excited.
Roz Hernandez
And listener of this pod. And listener of this pod for a long time.
Paige DeSorbo
Long time.
Ryan Seacrest
I. We met in San Francisco.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
We're staying in the same hotel.
Roz Hernandez
My favorite thing in the entire world is seeing people not at home.
Paige DeSorbo
I agree. Oh, my God. In a different city.
Roz Hernandez
If I see Someone, like, at home, like, in my home city here, I'm like, hiding, you know, look, if I'm in the grocery store, I'm like, get this, you know, lacroix tower in front of me. I don't want to see. I'm not here to talk.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, yeah, because it's like seeing someone at home. You're like, I'm at home. This is like you showing up to my door.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
And I'm trying. It's inconsiderate, considerate, and it's invasive. And it's like you're. You're going door to door to, like, do Jehovah's Witness to me.
Paige DeSorbo
Stop doing Jehovah's Witness.
Ryan Seacrest
Stop doing Jehovah's Witnessing. Whereas, like, to me, our hour together that we had in that hotel was like the platonic, friendly equivalent of having an affair at a work conference. It's like two kind of unhappily married people meeting at a dental technologies conference. One of them is giving the presentation. He's being kind of bumbly, and he drops his pencil and then picks it back up. But then the woman, whose name is Megan, is actually really charmed by it. And she kind of makes eye contact with him as he's giving the presentation. Later on at the. The official lanyard event where everyone's wearing a lanyard, she goes up to him and is like, well, glad you were able to get that pen from the floor. It was really touch and go there for a second. And he's like, oh, my God. You saw that? Like, I thought no one was looking. And she was like, I was looking.
Paige DeSorbo
And he feels attractive for the first time in 10 years.
Roz Hernandez
This is hot. Okay. I didn't pick up on any.
Ryan Seacrest
So for you, it was just like a random gay guy that you met?
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
That meeting was amazing. There was a point when at. In San Francisco. Cause we were there for Sketchfest, and so there were a lot of people we knew where. It did start to feel like I was running out of that lobby with my hand over my eyes. There wasn't, like, enough. Enough running into people?
Ryan Seacrest
Well, you left and Roz and I walked back to the other hotel together, just the two of us, which is what I'm referencing.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, so when I met Roz, it didn't matter?
Roz Hernandez
No, it definitely mattered. But then we met.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, so that matters. You were being. You're like. I felt no connection with you, but it definitely mattered.
Paige DeSorbo
No, no, that mattered. That was when we met. It was electric.
Roz Hernandez
It mattered for sure. Especially because we were all going into an elevator. And then. But there was an Act 2 where you went to the Eagle.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, And Roz introduced me to Rachel Dratch.
Roz Hernandez
And Rachel Dratch was there.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay.
Ryan Seacrest
We sort of replaced. We actually. We recast you with Rachel Dratch. And she did a really amazing job.
Roz Hernandez
She was great. She could play anything.
Ryan Seacrest
She was phenomenal.
Paige DeSorbo
That's amazing.
Roz Hernandez
I can't remember because it was like, the same week I was in Portland, and I can't remember if it was before.
Ryan Seacrest
It was after Portland. You opened for Joel in Portland?
Roz Hernandez
Yes. So I did that before.
Ryan Seacrest
It was before because then we were.
Roz Hernandez
Talking about Joel because that was such a weird week. Because as I got out of my Uber at the hotel, famous iconic drag queen Monet X Change was walking into the same hotel as me. And then we hung out. And then a couple, like three or four other friends of mine happened to be in Portland and we ran into each other at the strip club. Oh, yeah. And then we. And then. And then I had a layover because, like, a flight got canceled. It was so weird. Whatever. And two of my friends from LA were at the layover. It was, like, so weird and so fun.
Ryan Seacrest
I. I was telling Sam I had that exact experience this morning. So this is my first day in la. During this trip, I ran into two of my closest friends upon waking up today in two different locations. And I was like, maybe this is a small village after all.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, there are. The thing about Los Angeles, California, as someone who was born and raised here starting one year ago, is that there are around seven restaurants and maybe four coffee shops. And so when you go to any of those, you will run at least four people, you know.
Ryan Seacrest
Totally. And this is also why people are always seeing celebrities out in the wild. And, you know, if you. When you first visit, you're like, wow, how lucky am I that I saw Drew Barrymore? And it's like, not that lucky, actually.
Paige DeSorbo
It's like, no, that's. She has to go there.
Ryan Seacrest
Has to go there.
Paige DeSorbo
If she wants a coffee, that's where she has to go.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, totally. What part of. Do you say what part of town that I'm in?
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, I'm in Silver Lake.
Roz Hernandez
Silver Lake. Okay. I'm in the Valley, but yeah, I like. It's very spread out. But you. There's certain central locations where, like, see, there used to be the Arc Light was the movie theater.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes. I would always run into people at the Arc Light.
Roz Hernandez
The Arc Light is where you see every. Like, to me, that used to be center of la. But now it's not. It's been out of.
Ryan Seacrest
Isn't it reopening. There's the most random topic.
Paige DeSorbo
No, we're being so random.
Ryan Seacrest
So funny.
Roz Hernandez
Okay, whatever. Whatever. Whatever.
Paige DeSorbo
No, no.
Ryan Seacrest
This.
Roz Hernandez
None of this is. This is not enough about me.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay. Yes. Yes.
Roz Hernandez
And I'm here.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes.
Roz Hernandez
And you're here.
Ryan Seacrest
And we're so excited to have you.
Roz Hernandez
I love it here.
Ryan Seacrest
We were just talking about your proclivity.
Roz Hernandez
Proclivity.
Paige DeSorbo
Your fetish.
Ryan Seacrest
Your fetish for transition lenses.
Roz Hernandez
Okay, I already told you, these are not transition lenses.
Ryan Seacrest
You keep wanting to imply that I am. That I am being inappropriate by saying.
Roz Hernandez
They'Re transitioning, that because I'm transgender. You're assuming that my glasses are then, by default, transition lenses.
Ryan Seacrest
I would never. Roz.
Roz Hernandez
And now I don't feel comfortable looking at you. And I want it to be clear that these lenses are fully transitioned, but they stay transitioned.
Paige DeSorbo
So they're cisgendered glasses.
Ryan Seacrest
No, they're trans.
Roz Hernandez
No, they're trans, but they're all. There's no transitioning.
Ryan Seacrest
They're not in the process of transitioning, is what you're saying.
Roz Hernandez
Correct. They have transition, and they are like this. And this is how they feel most comfortable.
Ryan Seacrest
I see.
Paige DeSorbo
Got it.
Ryan Seacrest
And just to confirm, if you were to go outside, they would not transition any further. Search.
Roz Hernandez
I don't.
Paige DeSorbo
Can she make herself any clearer?
Roz Hernandez
I. I don't want.
Paige DeSorbo
They're done transitioning.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah. That would be like. Yeah, dead. Naming my glass.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Roz Hernandez
And making. You know, trying to force them. Convert them.
Ryan Seacrest
I see what you're saying.
Roz Hernandez
To detransition. They don't. They've transitioned. They've made their mind up, and they are happy. This color. And these ones are yellow. I have purple ones. I have pink ones. I love them.
Ryan Seacrest
That's so inclusive that you have all those three colors. All three of them.
Paige DeSorbo
All three colors.
Ryan Seacrest
And all of them are trans.
Roz Hernandez
They're all fully trans. Okay. I don't have any transitioning lenses.
Ryan Seacrest
And no CIS ones either.
Roz Hernandez
No, I have a ton of CIS one.
Ryan Seacrest
You have a ton of CIS ones?
Roz Hernandez
Of course.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. And how are they doing?
Roz Hernandez
They're fine, but they have been collecting dust because I am in my transitioned lenses era.
Ryan Seacrest
Got it.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, wow.
Roz Hernandez
I can't stop wearing them. I just love them because I feel like I can kind of, like, it's, like, boring sunglasses. Like, I feel like I'm, like, hiding a little bit from the. And it also is kind of like instant eye makeup. Like I don't have to do all that, you know, especially when I wear, like, pink ones or, like, whatever. I'm lazy. Okay. That's like.
Ryan Seacrest
It is a real shortcut to glamour, to wear transitioned lenses, to use the correct terminology, transition. And I apologize for what I said before.
Roz Hernandez
That's okay.
Ryan Seacrest
But it is. Yeah. You have just a nice, like, sheen of mystery. But not all the way.
Roz Hernandez
Not all the way.
Paige DeSorbo
Not all the way.
Roz Hernandez
That's the thing. Because if you.
Ryan Seacrest
Although they are fully transitioned.
Roz Hernandez
They're fully transitioned. But the eyes are the window to the soul.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, that's right.
Roz Hernandez
And so you want to see the soul peeking through a little bit. And I think that these transitioned lenses really bring my soul out. Oh, because it's my.
Ryan Seacrest
Because they're self actual. Yes. It's authentic.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
I don't know so much. Do you guys remember, like, being a child and like, Bono not to like Bono wearing glasses. Transitioned glasses?
Ryan Seacrest
Yes.
Paige DeSorbo
And being like, what is up with that guy? Like, I remember being like, when is he going to take those off? And now all I want is to have them.
Ryan Seacrest
I feel the same way. No, this is. So the reason I brought up initially your transitioned lenses, when before we were recording, is because I have been really wanting to try that look. Like, I want to be at the club. Not quite as much of, like, statement frames as you have now, but more like kind of Y2K. Like rectangular or oval ones.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Very thin frames. Just those. And we're talking like a tank and jeans.
Roz Hernandez
That's hot.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. Over the summer, I was going to a birthday party that there was, like, on the invitation. It was like, dress chic or something.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
And I was like, okay, well, I don't really know what could elevate all my normal clothes. And then I was like, I'll wear transitioned lenses, but, like, they are on trend. They are trendy.
Roz Hernandez
Yes, they're definitely trendy.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
I didn't realize that. But I'm seeing them all over the place.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm seeing them all.
Roz Hernandez
I thought I had an original idea. I really did think, like, I was literally looking on a. A website to buy glasses. And I was like, that's a fun thought. And then now everyone. Now. I'm not saying I started it.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, but maybe you did.
Roz Hernandez
I'm not saying I started it.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm not saying you started it.
Roz Hernandez
That's. Sorry.
Ryan Seacrest
How long have you been living this lifestyle transitions?
Roz Hernandez
Just the past. Like, maybe five, six months. Oh, I'm so sorry. I couldn't.
Paige DeSorbo
No, no, no. But basically, these are trending. And I was like, so I'll just go to a store and find them.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
Why is it. Why is it. Why is it that when something's trending, you can't just go to a store and find it?
Ryan Seacrest
Right.
Roz Hernandez
So first of all, because then it wouldn't be trending anymore. Because then everyone would have it.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. Oh, my God. You want it before it's at Everlane? Like, sure. Everlane is going to have father in law jeans and father in law sweatshirts soon, but for now, you actually have to go directly to your father in law to get that sweater vest.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. So this is a curse of being a little too on trend.
Ryan Seacrest
You have to go to the correct vintage store to find 1990, 1999, like Prada sunglasses that are, like, purple tinted.
Paige DeSorbo
See, this is something. I have this thing. Well, you know, I'm humble, first and foremost.
Ryan Seacrest
One of the most humble.
Paige DeSorbo
One of the most humble people around in Los Angeles. And so I.
Ryan Seacrest
Not a tough guy.
Roz Hernandez
Give her a year.
Paige DeSorbo
But so when I feel like, oh, I'm noticing this, it's time to go get some myself, I'm like, the trend's probably already in Everlane.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Paige DeSorbo
But I guess I was just too ahead of the curve on this one.
Roz Hernandez
I do that all the time. Really Wait way too long with, like, oh, some record will come out that everyone is listening to, and I'm like, I don't want to. And then a year later, I'll listen to it. And I'm like, you guys. Or I do that with TV shows or something. Nobody even remembers it now. So I'm like, who do I talk to about this?
Ryan Seacrest
I do the same thing. And I actually think it is chic to do that with film and television. Like, I think in a year, if I'm watching Emilia Perez, like, that would be very chic. But I don't think it's chic to do it with clothing, because with clothing, you actually have to be on the cutting edge.
Roz Hernandez
That's true.
Ryan Seacrest
Or you have to have such a, like, uniform that you're the guy that wears blazers and, you know, whatever. Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
I mean, just pick you for me again, it's because I'm lazy. I am just like, I'm gonna wear what I feel like wearing.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
And then it'll just never go out of style to me. If you're pick. If you're always trying to shop the trends, the current trend, then you end up with so much shit, and you got to figure out what to do with it. And you gotta find. So, like, I don't know. I've got. My closets are packed to the brim with things that I wear that are. They're already out of style. So I'll never have to worry about that. It's my advice.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
George, you are famous for recently not listening to songs when they come out.
Ryan Seacrest
That's right.
Paige DeSorbo
Not listening to albums when they come out. Yes. I guess I want to. Gotcha journalism, you hear? And ask if you have listened to Abracadabra. Yes, abracadabra. Right. Cause you watched it. You watched the premiere.
Ryan Seacrest
Excuse me? I texted you that it existed.
Roz Hernandez
I have also, and that's very me to. Not that I have this time.
Ryan Seacrest
So in my. Not in my defense, but what happened was I actually happened to be watching the super bowl halftime show live, and it premiered. Literally.
Paige DeSorbo
Wasn't the.
Roz Hernandez
No, it was the Grammys.
Ryan Seacrest
Sorry. Yes, I happened to be watching the Grammys live, and it premiered during the Grammys, which I didn't know was gonna happen, so it was actually forced.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, so you were duped?
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, I was completely duped. And I.
Paige DeSorbo
If it hadn't been.
Ryan Seacrest
If it hadn't been, then it definitely would have taken me, like, two weeks because I. I don't. I. I don't like having the cacophony of people's opinions in my head as I'm trying to enjoy something for the first time.
Roz Hernandez
Right.
Ryan Seacrest
And it's hard enough I always want to be up to date on the Oscar movies, and it's hard enough to do it with the movies. I don't also need that for the new Gaga.
Paige DeSorbo
Single movies are two hours plus. A song is so short.
Roz Hernandez
First of all, that needs to be an executive order. Movies cannot be longer than an hour 25.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, well, people get very upset when.
Roz Hernandez
You say that they want long movies.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, yeah. Film people will be like, leave them wanting more.
Roz Hernandez
PT Barnum said that film people, literally.
Ryan Seacrest
If you say that, they will be like, so you're a complete dumbass. You just cannot appreciate art ever. And you basically are illiterate.
Roz Hernandez
Then I'm a dumbass with transitioned lenses.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah. They'll literally be like, oh, so you want every restaurant to be McDonald's, then?
Roz Hernandez
Yes, I do. Because you know what? It's consistent. I can find it when I need it.
Paige DeSorbo
No reservations.
Ryan Seacrest
No reservations.
Roz Hernandez
No reservations.
Ryan Seacrest
No one's doing bots on Rezi. Okay, Wait, should we do our first segment? Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now. Through March 25th. Spring in for store wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items from Tropicana Lemonade or breakfast favorites like General Mills Cereal, Coffee Mate Creamer, Quaker Cereal, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Roz Hernandez
Hey everyone. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Joe.
Ryan Seacrest
And I'm Serena.
Roz Hernandez
And we are here with the iHeart Music Awards and David's Bridal who are.
Ryan Seacrest
Sponsoring this podcast and we are so grateful to them. Thank you. Thank you for finishing my sentence.
Roz Hernandez
And we are here with our favorites, Daughton and Charity.
Ryan Seacrest
Where were you in bikinis in the snow?
Paige DeSorbo
Montana. Okay.
Roz Hernandez
She flew out and joined you guys.
Ryan Seacrest
Isn't it cold?
Paige DeSorbo
No, it was.
Ryan Seacrest
We had bikinis in the snow. We risk getting hot hypothermia for those photos.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Ryan Seacrest
They were sick though.
Roz Hernandez
I don't get bikinis in the snow.
Ryan Seacrest
Just like an aesthetic. Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
I don't know if him and I did that. If we did like Speedos in the snow, you guys would be like douchebags.
Paige DeSorbo
I would be like, let's see it. Come on.
Ryan Seacrest
I would not complain to do stuff like that. He's like, no.
Paige DeSorbo
That's going to be the name of this podcast episode. Bachelor Happy Our Speedos in the snow.
Roz Hernandez
David's Bridal.
Ryan Seacrest
If you're listening to branding a little bit.
Paige DeSorbo
Sponsored by David's Bridal Bridal Speedos in the Snow. Honestly, Honestly, Honestly, no one wants to think about hiv. But there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it.
Ryan Seacrest
Things like prep.
Paige DeSorbo
Prep stands for pre exposure prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce.
Ryan Seacrest
Your chances of getting it.
Paige DeSorbo
Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed.
Ryan Seacrest
It doesn't protect against other STIs, though.
Paige DeSorbo
So be sure to use condoms and.
Ryan Seacrest
Other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your.
Paige DeSorbo
Prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more.
Ryan Seacrest
Sponsored by Gilead.
Roz Hernandez
Get this.
Ryan Seacrest
Adults with financial literacy skills have 82%.
Paige DeSorbo
More wealth than those who don't.
Ryan Seacrest
From swimming lessons to piano classes, us.
Paige DeSorbo
Parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treatment, start prioritizing their Financial.
Ryan Seacrest
Education and future today with a risk free trial@greenlight.com iheart greenlight.com iheart.
Paige DeSorbo
I want to know first. But wait, did you say people do bots on resi?
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, yeah, that's like a big thing.
Paige DeSorbo
What does that mean?
Ryan Seacrest
There's like actual investigative journalism about this. So I don't want to misspeak, but one of the reasons why getting a reservation right now, especially in New York, is so difficult is because people have automated. People will like, like automate getting reservations that they then basically like give out in the black market.
Paige DeSorbo
This town makes me sick. I'm disgusted by this town.
Ryan Seacrest
We mean sort of every major city where this happens.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm disgusted by this.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, I mean, it's the thing with like.
Roz Hernandez
Another reason to go to McDonald's.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, another reason to go to McDonald's. Although give it time. No, it's Everything that should be simple is getting more difficult and everything that should be difficult. Like, let's say committing large scale financial crimes has never been easier.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow. And then you know what the worst part is? It's like, I know my ass is gonna be one that gets like audited.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
Like the moment I'm like bad at taxes, it's over for me.
Roz Hernandez
Let's just talk about taxes. I love them.
Paige DeSorbo
Do you? What's your favorite part?
Roz Hernandez
Just like, like what do they call the forms where they don't take any money out until later?
Paige DeSorbo
1099.
Roz Hernandez
Like a 10 night, a W9. So fun.
Paige DeSorbo
I love it. I can't wait to like, like 10 years from now be like, God, I really, really do know.
Ryan Seacrest
Like, I'll be like, I will never learn.
Paige DeSorbo
I'll be like, I just have to know I'm ready.
Roz Hernandez
People are always like, make sure you, you keep a little bit of that for when they come calling for it. Bitch. Absolutely not. You pay me money, I spend the money.
Ryan Seacrest
I would like to not even be involved in looking at how much money I have. I would like, I would like other people to be in charge of my bank accounts, my paychecks, any kind of paperwork. I don't want to even be able to log into Chase and see what my balance is.
Paige DeSorbo
George, you are so speaking my language. I want essentially chastity play. But for my own money, I would.
Ryan Seacrest
Like to maybe have a. A personalized little newsletter, preferably in kind of a fun voice, to be honest. That is sent to me once a quarter. Let's say Spotify wrapped. Yes, a Spotify wrapped of that quarter. It's like, this is what you've sort.
Paige DeSorbo
Of done this month you gagged on some Chipotle.
Ryan Seacrest
Exactly. And then maybe at the end, even like two or three very kindly worded suggestions, like, so it looks like your Uber spending is kind of through the roof.
Roz Hernandez
Proof.
Ryan Seacrest
Mama.
Roz Hernandez
Ms. Mama.
Ryan Seacrest
What if you, you know, keep this number in mind, try not to go over it in one week. Yeah, that I can handle.
Roz Hernandez
That would be nice. But that's not how it is. That is not how it is unless you hire someone.
Ryan Seacrest
And I actually think, you know, so many creatives are out of work in this day and age. So many writers, graphic designers, et cetera. Actually, graphic designers have never been doing better based on what I'm seeing on Instagram. But writers certainly are unemployed. I think we need little personalized magazines. It's like, I shouldn't have to do any research into my own financial history, but I should get a magazine that is as glossy as Vanity Fair. That tells me everything I need to know about what I've done.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah. Maybe that's what writers. A little gig they can do.
Ryan Seacrest
Exactly.
Paige DeSorbo
I think it'd be really nice.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. It's like how I think everyone should have a personal assistant, even if you can't afford it.
Roz Hernandez
God, I need to be so it.
Ryan Seacrest
Should be funded by the government.
Paige DeSorbo
I'd be so good at having one.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, my God. I treat them so well. I would give them the biggest Christmas bonus you can imagine.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, my God.
Ryan Seacrest
And I like to pay the money.
Paige DeSorbo
And I'd be like, oh, my God, go home early.
Ryan Seacrest
Seriously, 100%.
Paige DeSorbo
Could you imagine?
Ryan Seacrest
I bet you would be really good at having an assistant.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, my God, I'm so unmanageable. I'm not an adult whatsoever. Adulting's hard.
Paige DeSorbo
Am I right, folks?
Ryan Seacrest
We've talked about this. Adulting is hard as a concept is so, you know, sort of lame and cliche. Millennial. And yet, damn if it ain't true.
Roz Hernandez
I'm sorry. She got popular for a reason.
Ryan Seacrest
She's been that girl from day one.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah. Yes.
Paige DeSorbo
And it also, like, just simply used to be easier. Like, you used to just have your one job and then you go home at 5pm and then, like, now it's like, you're always doing this random stuff.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
And it's like, yeah, I can't do all my random stuff and my taxes.
Ryan Seacrest
I know if I say one more sentence, I'm going to sound so stupid. Like, I know I can actually.
Paige DeSorbo
I know.
Ryan Seacrest
I'm getting to that point where it becomes, you know, there's a way to be charmingly dumb and charmingly incompetent. And then you say one more thing and you actually seem like a complete loser. And I know I'm getting to that point.
Paige DeSorbo
I have a sentence that is the dumbest thing I've ever thought. So whatever you say, I can. I can one up you.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, what is it?
Roz Hernandez
Well, apparently it's dumb to say you want movies to be a reasonable time. So now you all.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, I want you to go first because I really think.
Ryan Seacrest
I didn't have anything in mind. I just. I. It's like I'm aware of how I perceive people when they talk about how difficult life is for them and they have all the privileges in the world. And so. So I'm doubly aware when I am doing that because I know how it comes across and yet I can't help it. Like, it's just the state I'm in.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, well, okay. I can say mine though. Okay. This is my dumbest thought and sentence ever. When you said the word magazine, I was like, maga. And then I was like, zine. Like magus. I was like.
Roz Hernandez
I was like, george finds.
Ryan Seacrest
What he.
Roz Hernandez
Learned at the Eagle that night.
Paige DeSorbo
Maga. I'm scared, zine. I'm scared safe. Oh, wow.
Ryan Seacrest
Magazine is actually very interesting because there.
Roz Hernandez
Should be a magazine.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. How have they not thought of that? Because they're not very smart. Brother, are they geniuses. No one knows. But I think magazine. Okay, here's a great. Ready? All right. Maga. Very right wing. As a term, zine is the most left wing possible. You're like fairy. You know, you're kind of like a. A non binary freelance guitarist in Seattle. And you are self publishing a zine.
Roz Hernandez
Right, Right.
Ryan Seacrest
So there's something so beautiful about the word magazine because it combines the two elements of American society.
Paige DeSorbo
It's our future. It's the only way forward.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. And yet publishing is dead. So magazines are dead, which means ship.
Paige DeSorbo
Is dead, which is why we're collapsing as a country.
Ryan Seacrest
That's right. Thoughts?
Roz Hernandez
Our first segment today is our first segment.
Ryan Seacrest
Our first segment is stray shooters and RA's, you know the drill. Basically, we are gauging your familiarity with and complicity and straight culture by asking a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or this other thing and then one.
Roz Hernandez
And I'm allowed to ask questions for any questions. I'm allowed to ask questions.
Paige DeSorbo
Ra's, stop right there.
Roz Hernandez
Maybe I was special. Okay, let's go.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. Upholding law and order or seeming people.
Roz Hernandez
Listening at home, they add the song later, just so you know, because I'm like, where's the song?
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, it comes later.
Roz Hernandez
Pew, pew, pew. So just picture this. I'm. I'm doing this right now in silence.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. Upholding law and order or seeming tall. Oh, then shorter.
Roz Hernandez
That one. Seeming tall and then shorter. I'm six foot one.
Ryan Seacrest
The importance of being earnest or the disturbance of your home office being unfurnished.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh.
Roz Hernandez
Service of your home office being earnest.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. Healing your inner child or hunting a crocodile.
Roz Hernandez
Crocodile.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Ryan Seacrest
Simon Says. Or Simone Biles.
Roz Hernandez
Biles.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. Reheating your nachos or repeating your mantras.
Ryan Seacrest
That's good.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, that's cute. Reheating the nachos.
Ryan Seacrest
Skims. Shapewear or Grimm's fairy tales.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, oh, Grims Fairy tales.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay. Going to the philharmonic or voting no on a bill. That's moronic.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, Phil, fail me.
Ryan Seacrest
Viva Las Vegas. Or diva. That's major.
Roz Hernandez
Diva. That's major.
Paige DeSorbo
So true.
Roz Hernandez
Las Vegas.
Ryan Seacrest
I know.
Roz Hernandez
I have a love hate with.
Paige DeSorbo
I don't get it. I've never been, and I don't get it.
Roz Hernandez
Well, you should go and then make up your mind.
Ryan Seacrest
Have you been a lot?
Roz Hernandez
A ton.
Ryan Seacrest
That actually tracks.
Paige DeSorbo
Wait, why? Tons.
Roz Hernandez
Because it's not far.
Paige DeSorbo
What do you do when you go there?
Roz Hernandez
Go to the Burbank airport. You're flying, you're there within before you even realize that.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Roz Hernandez
They don't even come by with a drink cart.
Paige DeSorbo
What do you like to do there or dislike to do there?
Roz Hernandez
Well, what I love is, like, there's areas off the Strip which are like, where the locals are. I like that. Because what kind of trip?
Ryan Seacrest
Bars and restaurants and stuff or.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, okay, well. And I'm a big antique store, kind of.
Ryan Seacrest
And there's good antiquing in Las Vegas there.
Roz Hernandez
Really? Yeah. They've got antique malls that are more towards the downtown area, and I have a lot of fun with them.
Ryan Seacrest
Do you gamble?
Roz Hernandez
No, I don't. But have you. Have you both seen the Last Showgirl Girl?
Paige DeSorbo
No.
Ryan Seacrest
Here's the thing with the last Showgirl. No is the answer. But I've been absolutely waterboarded with so much footage from that film that it's like, I can't imagine that there's something I would be surprised by if I were to see it.
Paige DeSorbo
Would you agree? Something about it is like, sometimes I'm like, is it actually a movie? Like, sometimes I think it's tour only.
Ryan Seacrest
It's a press tour only.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, that was a big part of.
Ryan Seacrest
It because it's like, and by the way, I support that narrative that Pamela Anderson deserves.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm down for it.
Ryan Seacrest
A second or a this, like, sort of third act, if you will. Like, I'm. I'm down for it. I'm excited for her to do more movies, but. Sorry, I know when a movie looks.
Roz Hernandez
Like a flop, I'm. Did you, like, not happy about this? I loved it.
Ryan Seacrest
Really?
Roz Hernandez
Well, they did a thing in Los Angeles that was like, this one theater in Century City was, like, showing it for a month before it came out. And you better believe I bought my tickets and I loved it.
Paige DeSorbo
Really.
Ryan Seacrest
It's been this specter. Because we've actually this conversation many times and potentially even on air, that it is a press tour in search of a coherent movie, even though we have not seen the movie. And it would be funny if after all this time we watched it and both loved it.
Paige DeSorbo
That would be kind of a fun twist.
Roz Hernandez
There's fun to be had with it.
Ryan Seacrest
I've heard Jamie Lee.
Roz Hernandez
Jamie Lee is really something. And there's like, Bob Mack Yikos, and it's an interesting story of. What do you do when you. The gig's up?
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. What do you do when the gig's up?
Roz Hernandez
Well, I'm trying to find that out right now.
Ryan Seacrest
We do need to rate you on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm going to say 942 doves.
Ryan Seacrest
And I have to agree wholeheartedly.
Paige DeSorbo
Should we get into the topic?
Ryan Seacrest
I would love to, because we gave you the option of telling us ahead of time what the topic was, and you opted for the second option, which is to surprise us on air, which.
Paige DeSorbo
Obviously comes with risks. What if we get upset and rewards, like, a risk.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay. Oh, and that's why you love Vegas.
Roz Hernandez
That's why.
Paige DeSorbo
Because of all the gambling ros.
Ryan Seacrest
What is your straight topic and what is straight about it?
Roz Hernandez
UFOs.
Ryan Seacrest
I love that.
Roz Hernandez
Have you done it before?
Paige DeSorbo
No, we did outer space.
Ryan Seacrest
We did outer space once, but UFOs is very different.
Roz Hernandez
UFOs is different.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, go. What is straight about it?
Roz Hernandez
Okay, so I have this podcast, it's a comedy podcast, but it's called Ghost Did And I talk about ghosts. And then I've, like, over the years incorporated more UFOs as, like, part of a. Yeah. Concept. And I've never been. I've never been as interested in UFOs because they feel straighter to me. Like, ghosts to me are gay. Okay.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
UFOs, it's. It's cars. Like, it's.
Paige DeSorbo
They're they're, it's power dynamics. It's like, are they gonna destroy us or are we gonna destroy them?
Ryan Seacrest
It's war.
Roz Hernandez
It's war. Possibly. But it's also like first of all to know what things are in the sky to me is very straight. Okay. I. To me everything up there is unidentified flying object. I don't know what the any of that is.
Ryan Seacrest
The only thing. Sorry, go ahead.
Roz Hernandez
But you know, a lot of people be, oh, that's an S14 flying. I don't know what the hell. Yeah, I don't know what that is. But so to me, I don't know. Oh, that's a drone. I still don't know what a drone is. Okay. And I'm not afraid to admit it. So to me, knowing stuff in the sky is straight. I think that UFOs also I'm obsessed with alien abductions and especially like ones of. It's weird because they used to be in their butt era and like they're not anymore. They used to be really into sticking things in people's butts.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
And I think that that's a very straight thing to like play to think that that's like a statement.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh sure, sure, sure.
Paige DeSorbo
It's like fear of it. It's like that's the weirdest thing that could ever happen. Right.
Ryan Seacrest
Exactly.
Paige DeSorbo
I can't tell you how aliens.
Roz Hernandez
But I can't tell you how many straight identifying people I've talked to that are like I'm kinky and I'm like, well what does that mean? The butt. Right girl, that's the kink.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
You know what I'm saying? But so aliens are straight in that way. Cuz they're like o. This is really going to get them talking. But you know, they really, they think, they think they ate okay by, by going to the butt.
Ryan Seacrest
Huh.
Roz Hernandez
So that there's, that I mean there's just. It's also kind of like are they. If so words to believe these aliens are like, they're just kind of flying around peeking like that's very like, oh, going for a drive with my buddies. You know, it's very that. And I don't know, it's just to me the, the culture around it is also very straight.
Ryan Seacrest
It's a lot of conspiracy.
Roz Hernandez
There's cons, it's. Yes. That's part of the reason I'm not like obsessed with it is because like, like ghosts aren't as much conspiracy culture. But you start talking about UFOs, it turns into the government, it turns into the Military. It turns into like all of this. Before you know it, it's like full on. They want our resources and we have like, what girl?
Ryan Seacrest
And there's a barrier to entry. You have. It's like an entire mythology. You have to know to be part of the conversation. Whereas with ghosts you can kind of be like, did you feel that chill? And that's kind of all you need.
Roz Hernandez
Did you feel that chill is like one of the more gay things a person can say. Yeah, like, it's fun to be like, o. I just, like, I just felt something bigger than what you can see.
Ryan Seacrest
Exactly. Okay, so this is sort of what I wanted to. This is my way into this topic, which is. I think this goes for things up in the sky and also supernatural. Supernatural. Paranormal, sure.
Roz Hernandez
Both paranormal.
Ryan Seacrest
Paranormal phenomena. I think that the gay approach to the sky and to the paranormal is to be almost like fascinated in a romantic way with the mystery, whereas the straight approach is to want answers deeply, scientifically and violently. So it's like you were saying, like, the sky is straight. I think, for example, astrology is very queer. And that's like the sky or like stargazing, like just being sort of in wonderment of rainbows. Rainbow. Yes, exactly, exactly. Rainbows. Going to Iceland to see the northern lights, like all that stuff is very like, God, isn't the world just so beautiful? But it stops there. It's just like, how amazing.
Roz Hernandez
Infinite.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes. How amazing to look, to gaze at infinity, to gaze at all the unknowable. And how great to sort of like. Like be liberated from my small, tiny problems on earth by accepting that I am part of this larger context. So that's like the sort of queer mentality. And then the straight mentality is like, what are they not telling us? What are they not telling us? What is that? And so, and, and, and then to make it so literal as there is a literal alien spaceship that is coming down to Earth, it's like, couldn't you be a little more kind of like abstract with it? What if it's a little. What if it's some purple sparkle in the wind? What if it's a smell? What if it's, you know, a flash of a light?
Paige DeSorbo
Well, this is what I do like about UFOs is like, I love a little sort of writing prompt.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, of course.
Paige DeSorbo
Like where it is like, oh, my God, it could be anything. What does it look like?
Roz Hernandez
Well, yeah, that's fun. I always, like, people are always coming to me looking for answers, and I always tell them it's called the unknown for a reason, because it's unknown. And that's fun. If we knew these answers, answers, I would be out of business. I got nothing to talk about on my podcast and so I have to start a RuPaul's Drag Race podcast or something. Okay.
Ryan Seacrest
Someone needs to find, someone needs to do that.
Roz Hernandez
So I have this podcast where we talk about things that none of us know the answers to, which is fun. It's fun to ponder, of course, and to just sort of think about what could be possible. And then you hear these stories of things that kind of imply that some things could be real. But I do agree that there is a, a type of person that is very much like, I need the answers. And I'm like, it's okay to not know everything.
Ryan Seacrest
And actually it can often be more productive to just ask open ended questions and sit with the uncertainty rather than like need something to end with a satisfactory answer.
Roz Hernandez
Absolutely.
Ryan Seacrest
And who knows, maybe, maybe there will be an answer down the road. And maybe you're just part of this multi generational interrogation. And it's like with each passing day and with each passing generation, we learn a little more. And then maybe assuming a lot of things change in this country, we live long enough to see another generation and then our grandkids learn something.
Paige DeSorbo
I do think it would make sense. We're at a point where there's got to be some sort of discovery when it comes to either ghosts or space.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, you're ready for answers.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm ready for.
Ryan Seacrest
You're like, we've been asking for generations. Time to get to the next level.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm sort of like, I'm ready to be the generation where like, you know how there's like the pre Internet generation. You're like, oh my God, those guys are so fucking stupid. Like I'm ready for the, the pre go to be like the pre Ghost generation, the pre UFOs generation where it's like, can you believe they literally just thought they were like the only people.
Ryan Seacrest
It's like people that used to believe in phonology.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
People that used to, you know, whatever before various advances in science and medicine, people used to do things that now seem so primitive and so you want that but for either ghost or aliens.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah. And I'm also feeling like right now our timeline is like so linear and so like technology based.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
Where it's like this came, then this came, then this came. And that made society like this and that made society like this. Where I'm like, we need like a third option. Like, we need, like, something to come on a Z axis and sort of spin us in a different direction.
Ryan Seacrest
That's very interesting. You think that discovering something about paranormal phenomena would, like, shake up the almost like, technological, determinist path we are on, and then suddenly we could take down Mark Zuckerberg literally.
Paige DeSorbo
I think it's the only way forward, to be honest.
Ryan Seacrest
That's fascinating. And actually, honestly is very. In conversation with sort of mysticism and alternative queer history. And hersteries, of course, because I'm so.
Roz Hernandez
Used to listening to the two of you, I'm like, I'm just sitting here listening, and I'm like, whoa. But I'm like, looking at you as you're doing the podcast. It's so.
Ryan Seacrest
We can sometimes be bad about bringing the guest into a conversation that they themselves.
Roz Hernandez
No, no, no, no. I'm loving it.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay. In your. You do sometimes discuss alien related things in your work?
Roz Hernandez
In my work, yes. As a researcher, sure.
Ryan Seacrest
What have you. Like, what narratives. Like, what narratives about UFOs interest you and what. And what is sort of straight about them, would you say?
Roz Hernandez
Well, to me, I'm never super interested in, like, here's the story. I saw something in the sky. Yeah. I want to hear the people that got taken up there and some stuff happened to their butts and then they came back down.
Ryan Seacrest
Do those stories exist?
Roz Hernandez
Yes, they do. Documented cases. Now, I'm not saying. I'm not saying that makes them real, but I'm saying they are documented. But there are people that have gone to the press and said, I went up there. You know what I've heard even more than that is, like, men that get taken up there and they're like. And then the hud, this lady came out of the UFO and she started riding me, and she was. She was like, really hot. They. They real. Like, they really keep going with the story. Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
And so these men, they get back to Earth, go directly to the precinct to tell their story, to tell everyone.
Roz Hernandez
Yes. But it's, you know, a lot of theories are like, that. They're trying to, like, get human sperm.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh. To make mutants that are half alien, half human, I guess.
Roz Hernandez
I don't know.
Ryan Seacrest
See, this to me is like, again, almost like, too literal. Like, you think they reproduce the same way we reproduce aliens?
Roz Hernandez
I don't. Well, they're humanoids.
Paige DeSorbo
They're humanoids, George.
Roz Hernandez
So who knows, right? But I mean, here's the thing with me that I always need to make clear is like, I'm not saying I believe any of this stuff. I'm so here for like, anything is possible. Let's. Let's explore it. But especially things that are documented. I'm like, let's just talk about it and see if it's real or what we think. I don't know. It's fun to me. I think it's fun to talk about.
Paige DeSorbo
In the documentation cases that you've read, is the trope true of it's like always in the country?
Roz Hernandez
It seems to be. But I will say there's a Netflix one one the documentary. Like maybe it's a two or three parter about a woman that got taken out of her window in Manhattan and multiple people claim that they saw her floating in the air out of her window.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, can multiple people be wrong? I don't think so.
Roz Hernandez
No, it's never happened.
Ryan Seacrest
See, this is interesting.
Paige DeSorbo
I want a city girl who goes to space.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Like, it's like finally Carrie Bradshaw. Like it's so often it's like, like in the country and it's someone who like, you know, hasn't seen another living soul in five weeks.
Paige DeSorbo
And then hallucinating.
Ryan Seacrest
But if it's Carrie Bradshaw, I mean, she just went to an opening last night.
Paige DeSorbo
I mean, the new magazine just dropped.
Ryan Seacrest
The new magazine just dropped. She was in the middle of texting this really cute cartoonist for the New Yorker.
Roz Hernandez
She's not gonna make something up to get something up.
Ryan Seacrest
She has enough going on in her life.
Paige DeSorbo
I mean, I couldn't help but wonder if the alien could probe me. Could I probe Big's heart?
Roz Hernandez
There you go.
Ryan Seacrest
That's her at precinct. She said that. That's a documented statement she gave to the police officer.
Paige DeSorbo
God.
Ryan Seacrest
And then she waltzed right out in.
Paige DeSorbo
Her little tutu in a city where. Where all the women have seemingly everything is the only thing that makes me unique, that I've been to space.
Roz Hernandez
That's good. That's good. So I'm just saying it happens all over the place.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, that's cool.
Roz Hernandez
If I could be held in space.
Ryan Seacrest
Could I hold space for Big?
Roz Hernandez
Holding space is. Is. I would not say straight. No, no, that's definitely not holding.
Ryan Seacrest
The idea of holding space is like a classic example of queer people just like fully hallucinating.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, I'm holding space like.
Ryan Seacrest
No, you're not. What the are you talking about?
Roz Hernandez
But I will say holding someone in your long humanoid fingers and taking them up to space is straight.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, kidnapping.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, you know what? Okay. You know what gets me about UFO stuff? What I really like is it's just like in like infinite. Everything's infinite, right? Okay. There's so many things. There's so much. So it's like they're there. Oh, I sure folks are there.
Roz Hernandez
It makes sense they're gonna be there. A lot of people think it's the ocean.
Ryan Seacrest
How broad is your point of view? Yeah. Like if you broaden your. The aperture of the camera enough, then it's like, yeah, everything exist.
Paige DeSorbo
Honey, they're there. It's a matter of like, are they here? Like, yes, that I don't know.
Ryan Seacrest
Also, what is the thing that Elon Musk believes in where it's like, oh.
Roz Hernandez
Where do we start?
Ryan Seacrest
No, no, this is a non. This is like more sort of sci fi. Yeah, yeah. It's like this theory that there are many different simulations of the world. And so statistically speaking, we are in a simulation right now.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, I hate that one.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, there's. There's a lot of people that think that kind of stuff about ghosts.
Ryan Seacrest
Ye.
Roz Hernandez
That there's like an alternate different dimension and sometimes they kind of get a little.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
And so like, like kind of the. The others. Remember that movie where it's like, oh, we're the ghosts.
Ryan Seacrest
Sorry.
Roz Hernandez
Sorry to ruin it. Sorry to ruin it. But you know, it's like that kind of idea that the ghosts don't. They think that we are ghosts in their house.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, I just want to say if there are any ghosts listening, you're the ghost. Ghost. Where are the people?
Ryan Seacrest
We're inclusive about a lot of things.
Paige DeSorbo
I want to be like crystal clear. Yes, we're the people.
Ryan Seacrest
You're the ghosts.
Roz Hernandez
Yes, I agree with that because I.
Paige DeSorbo
Will not have people in my comments saying, well, maybe you're the ghost. I'm not.
Ryan Seacrest
No, I don't know it. We can see ourselves and each other. We're sitting here. Where the hell are you?
Paige DeSorbo
Where the hell is. Probably in the other dimension.
Ryan Seacrest
Literally in the other dimension. You're. Knock, knock, knocking. We're saying. Not right now.
Paige DeSorbo
Ghost. Ghost scum.
Ryan Seacrest
Ghost scum.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, Nerd.
Paige DeSorbo
Nerd.
Ryan Seacrest
What if we did have a ghost listener now they're like really offended though.
Paige DeSorbo
I mean, they're going to be in the comments.
Ryan Seacrest
But even worse though. Okay, you're in a real reputation now I'm.
Paige DeSorbo
Now I'm playing with it.
Ryan Seacrest
Even worse than them being in the comments, which I can handle, is like, what if we really offended a ghost? And they're just like really sad and crying and they're like, wow, I thought I was part of this straight away.
Roz Hernandez
Well, you're not. Grow Some bones.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, literally. Grow some bones and flesh and then we'll talk.
Roz Hernandez
You're not.
Paige DeSorbo
You're not pay rent like the rest of us.
Roz Hernandez
Are you by any chance familiar with the. The most important moment that's ever happened to me in my life, which is the time a ghost called me the f. Slur.
Paige DeSorbo
What?
Roz Hernandez
Okay, so you. That hasn't reached your algorithm. Okay. Cuz it just recently went viral. Like this past.
Ryan Seacrest
Congratulations.
Roz Hernandez
It's been going viral again. Like because multiple people have posted it over the year. Or like it's only been a year.
Paige DeSorbo
Sure, sure.
Roz Hernandez
Some whatever. But yeah, a ghost calls me that and I get into a fight with the ghost.
Ryan Seacrest
Where was this?
Roz Hernandez
It was at a strip club in Vegas.
Paige DeSorbo
Really? You love a strip club. Comes back, what do you want?
Roz Hernandez
A straight club?
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, I do want to talk about strip club.
Roz Hernandez
Portland has gay people's strip clubs.
Ryan Seacrest
No, I know. Yeah, yeah. Vegas on the other side. Other hand. But that's like a thing with Portland, right?
Paige DeSorbo
I didn't know that.
Roz Hernandez
They have everybody.
Ryan Seacrest
Portland, like famously. It's like. What is it about Portland that makes it as the strip club capital? There's just like this rich history of strip clubs. Important. It's like a thing the tourists do where they're like, well, we have to go to the strip club.
Roz Hernandez
It might be like most strip clubs per capita, but there's at least two that I know of that are male strippers. But not in the Magic Mike way.
Ryan Seacrest
No. Which is straight. They're like queer.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they have like trans dancers and they're fun.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, so let's put a pin in that.
Roz Hernandez
Okay.
Ryan Seacrest
And so a ghost in Vegas called you the f. Slur in a strip club.
Roz Hernandez
Which is funny because I. Okay, listen to this. And I know I sound like I think I'm famous or something, but so I was at the strip club in Portland. One of the strippers goes, oh my God, are you running from the clip from the show? Yeah. And I'm like, yes, that's me. And he was. Couldn't believe it that I was there. I felt very famous.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, I think first of all, congrats.
Roz Hernandez
Thank you.
Ryan Seacrest
And I think, because obviously the story which you're absolutely edging us about.
Paige DeSorbo
I know.
Roz Hernandez
Wait, wait.
Ryan Seacrest
Is about a strip club. I'm sure it's like especially viral among strippers.
Roz Hernandez
You don't even know from. If you just watch the clip alone. You don't know it's in a strip club because we were actually in the dressing room of the strip club. Not really. Whatever. But then not two days ago. So I went to the strip club twice on this last Portland night. Two different nights. The second night with this other stripper I met. He. And they call themselves stripper. I don't know if you want to. Dancers, whatever the terms. But he messaged me. He goes, hey, are you in a video where a ghost calls you a. And I was like, yeah, that's me. And then he's like, yeah, I just saw it. And I'm like, where? Like. So then I got a link to somebody else had posted it, because people just love to do that.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, spill. Oh, what's the story?
Ryan Seacrest
It's just that a ghost showed up, called you the f. Slur, and then left.
Roz Hernandez
Yes. So I thought that the. Well, we were, like, doing a machine scene where it, like, allegedly makes ghosts speak to you.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, I see.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh.
Roz Hernandez
And I thought I heard it say fat. And it clarified.
Paige DeSorbo
It clarified.
Roz Hernandez
It clarified.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, I see. I see.
Roz Hernandez
Yes. And then I ended up kind of going back and forth and getting in a fight with them. Go to instagram.com.
Ryan Seacrest
Sorry to make you recount a story that has already gone viral.
Roz Hernandez
It's already been viral and bad, and now it's viral again.
Ryan Seacrest
What would your ideal interaction with a ghost be?
Roz Hernandez
Well, the cameras better be rolling, because I'm not doing that stuff if it's not for content purposes.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, really? You don't want to just have, like, a private moment where the ghost is like, I see you.
Roz Hernandez
And you're like, nope, don't care.
Ryan Seacrest
You don't. It's not romantic for you. You just.
Roz Hernandez
Well, so I started this.
Ryan Seacrest
Your brand is ghost ghosts, so you need to.
Roz Hernandez
So you need one of my brands. Yes, but. So I started a YouTube series where I go to haunted hotel rooms by myself because I have no budget. So it's literally just me with camera going to haunted hotel rooms, and I invite a guy from Grindr to join me to go ghost hunting with me. And so that's been really fast.
Ryan Seacrest
So you want a ghost to be on camera while you're doing your YouTube series.
Roz Hernandez
Yes.
Ryan Seacrest
And then that's. That's the TV deal right there. Ra's. She was called the f Slur by a ghost. Then she saw one with a Grinder hookup.
Roz Hernandez
Yes.
Ryan Seacrest
Now, that's iconic.
Paige DeSorbo
Do you hook up with the Grindr hookup?
Roz Hernandez
No.
Ryan Seacrest
On camera.
Roz Hernandez
That's. It could be an additional brand that's behind a paywall.
Ryan Seacrest
Ooh. Okay, what is the creepiest hotel room you've done?
Roz Hernandez
Well, I don't know there was a place. So that clip of me being called that word was from a short lived television show I was on called Living for the Dead, which was Kristen Stewart's ghost hunting show.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, yes, yes.
Roz Hernandez
And we stayed in multiple haunted hotels, but there was one that we stayed at in a town called Bisbee, Arizona, which is such a cute place. Love it. They have their own pride. It's very like, it's very like an artsy community.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, ghosts will flock to those communities.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, well, it's an old mining town. So like a minor. Well, not that kind of minor. Different you're bad, you're bad kind of minor.
Paige DeSorbo
I didn't know how that would come out. I was thinking my favorite show is Chernobyl and there's an episode where all the miners go in to fix Chernobyl and they all have to get naked because it's so hot and they're so hot.
Roz Hernandez
Wow.
Paige DeSorbo
So that's what I was thinking when I said ooh, a minor. But it sounded like I was thinking saying like ooh, the person under 18.
Roz Hernandez
Minor, not a minor.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Roz Hernandez
Isn't that an ER and an or?
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
Okay, so that place, the scariest place.
Ryan Seacrest
See Arizona to me isn't Roswell. What's the ghost place? Roswell. That is in Arizona. Correct.
Paige DeSorbo
New Mexico.
Ryan Seacrest
New Mexico. Oh my God.
Roz Hernandez
Of course.
Ryan Seacrest
That's literally in the title of the show.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, so fine. Arizona and New Mexico go. Are the two UFO places from like the two alien.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, they love the desert. I, I have a theory that the, the aliens might just be like middle aged white ladies that they want like turquoise jewelry. Yes, that's what I think.
Paige DeSorbo
You know what they haven't done yet? Or maybe they have sort of sort of the same thing where it's like we're actually the ghosts and they're the people. Have they done yet that like we're actually the aliens and they're the earth, they're the native.
Ryan Seacrest
Native. Okay, that would be interesting because it would also be sort of a metaphor for colonialism.
Paige DeSorbo
That's true.
Ryan Seacrest
Like we're talking like, like cool, you know, alt sci fi movie where it turns out this entire time we've been aliens.
Roz Hernandez
But don't spoil it. Yeah, it's me again.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, he'd be spoiled.
Ryan Seacrest
It's the village but for alien. Sorry to spoil the village.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh God.
Roz Hernandez
Oh my God. I still haven't seen it.
Paige DeSorbo
Me either. I actually was so happy when it was spoiled for me because I was like finally. I don't have to go see it.
Ryan Seacrest
But by the way, sorry, but that's a genius twist.
Roz Hernandez
Wait, what is the twist?
Paige DeSorbo
The twist that they're in like modern world.
Ryan Seacrest
So, you know, it's a skip ahead a few minutes if you don't want to. It's a, it's a. They're living in. It looks like they're living in the olden times. Okay.
Roz Hernandez
Okay. But it is.
Ryan Seacrest
And there's all the. And there's weird sounds happening all the time. So you're like, is it aliens this, that that turns out it's just that it's like planes and trains and they're just like living in a secluded community where they don't have consciousness contact with the contemporary world.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, that sounds nice, right?
Ryan Seacrest
Well, living in that community. Yeah, you know, it depends. I think I would imagine the people in power are not people that sort of value progressive social values. That's true.
Roz Hernandez
Let me be in power.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay.
Roz Hernandez
It'd be fun.
Paige DeSorbo
No, this is always.
Ryan Seacrest
Want it to be old fashioned. Yeah. Okay, cool.
Paige DeSorbo
You'll be nice.
Roz Hernandez
No unplugging. Put away the phones.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, we're always on our phones these days.
Paige DeSorbo
Seriously. Let's go back.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Do you think there will be a breaking point where there's a real genuine backlash and you see like an actual significant group of people like abandon smartphones? I hope, because so far it's almost like it's just like the vinyl trend. Like it, you know, it's like there's a few people that are doing the whole like using a dumb phone or like putting your phone in a different room or whatever. But it's not a real social movement.
Paige DeSorbo
I think social media media will like really change.
Roz Hernandez
Okay.
Paige DeSorbo
Like I think it will be like you will use it if you're trying to make a career in social media, but you won't really use it as like a way to be funny to your friends ever.
Ryan Seacrest
Like, will we look back on this period of time the way that we look back on people smoking in restaurants? You know, it's like it reached this pinnacle and then now only a few people smoke.
Roz Hernandez
Only cool people.
Ryan Seacrest
Only cool people, George.
Paige DeSorbo
I, I hope so.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
But I don't know.
Ryan Seacrest
Only the aliens.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, that's why we need an.
Roz Hernandez
Unfortunately I cannot predict, but. Oh my God. There's this woman I talk about non stop, but I'm like basically her publicist. Her, she's in England and she's, she makes predictions with asparagus. I'm always talking about her on my podcast cuz she's made, like, accurate predictions.
Ryan Seacrest
How does she use the asparagus?
Roz Hernandez
I don't really know. She, like, just like throws it down. Okay, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen on social media. But she's this British woman and they call her the asparamancer. And she does it raw, but then she cooks it later and eats it.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, that's nice that she. That she upcycles it. She. Yes, you can use it raw for predictions, but then you can make a delicious side and then your pee is to it.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, but she. She's great. The esperamancer. If we ask her, she'll tell us.
Ryan Seacrest
The future we have to have her on.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, I guess.
Roz Hernandez
Girl, I've been trying, you know, by.
Ryan Seacrest
The way, a pretty expensive habit because asparagus, one of the fancier vegetables. You know, it'd be one thing if she. Well, I do too, of course, but it would be one thing if you were making predictions using, you know, a prepackaged baby spinach, but to get asparagus each time, you know, I fucking hate asparagus. Really.
Roz Hernandez
However, she did predict that Kamala was.
Paige DeSorbo
Gonna win, so she was sort of a Kamala is brat type pretty.
Roz Hernandez
She was the is. I just. I think that that particular batch was.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, yeah.
Roz Hernandez
Too many pesticides on that one.
Ryan Seacrest
You know what, though? This is interesting. It's almost like a metaphor for the elite liberal establishment because it's like she's using asparagus. Asparagus is such a liberal elite coated vegetable. And it's like we're looking back on.
Paige DeSorbo
The last three decades.
Ryan Seacrest
Exactly. Like we're looking back at the last three decades and it's like, oh, God. The entire time we were using asparagus.
Paige DeSorbo
And like, it's time to use, like, frozen peas. Yeah. Something accessible to all.
Roz Hernandez
You two. You two are smart.
Ryan Seacrest
We have to write that down. Like the entire time she's been using asparagus.
Roz Hernandez
Okay, our final segment.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Roz Hernandez
I don't know. I don't know what to. I'm.
Paige DeSorbo
There was a pause.
Roz Hernandez
There was a pause.
Paige DeSorbo
I got scared, I think, you know.
Roz Hernandez
It could be there was dead air.
Ryan Seacrest
Roz.
Roz Hernandez
No, I'm having fun.
Ryan Seacrest
Final thoughts on UFOs. I actually. Sorry, I know I asked a question immediately. Didn't let you answer. I'm like, I'm struggling. I'm like, have we discussed the actual topic at hand, UFOs enough. Or did we go to aliens, to ghosts? You know, like, UFOs? A big part of it is also.
Paige DeSorbo
You mean literally, like the flying object.
Roz Hernandez
Like a flying vehicle.
Ryan Seacrest
It is a vehicle. It's also kind of giving. Giving. It's also like cruise ship. Like it's a large part of what makes it majestic and scary is how big it is. It's a different fear than the individual alien who looks weird. You know what I mean?
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
It's something that can.
Paige DeSorbo
But it's so disappointing to me. It's just a vehicle. Like I. If I'm not thinking about an alien driving it.
Roz Hernandez
No, there's definitely somebody driving it.
Paige DeSorbo
If there's somebody driving it, I like it. If it's a self driving ufo, like they're just here to take pictures. I'm a little upset.
Roz Hernandez
That's boring.
Paige DeSorbo
I, I don't like to know that the, the, the other life forms out there are playing it so safe.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
You know, have some, have some courage and come here and take a picture yourself.
Roz Hernandez
What about crop circles?
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, well that's another M. Night Shyamalan classic.
Roz Hernandez
No, a lot of M. Night Shyamalan.
Ryan Seacrest
I obviously think crop circles are kind of fab.
Paige DeSorbo
I think they're fab. I'm still confused. Like what's the theory on what they are?
Ryan Seacrest
Just that aliens make them aliens.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah. Come down and it's like. It's like a rival arts and crafts that feel. Crop circles to me feels a little bit more queer cuz it's artistic but.
Ryan Seacrest
And sustainable. They're using nature.
Roz Hernandez
But here's the thing.
Paige DeSorbo
Language.
Roz Hernandez
Being obsessed with Mel Gibson.
Paige DeSorbo
No, true, true, true.
Ryan Seacrest
But being obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix.
Roz Hernandez
There we go.
Ryan Seacrest
By at least.
Paige DeSorbo
You know what can I. Another. I'm chock full of stupid sentences today. Another thought. I've always thought of crop circles. I thought it was like a spaceship taking off and that was like the market left.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, that could be a two.
Paige DeSorbo
But I don't think of that as actually.
Roz Hernandez
I don't know.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, it's also like there's no right answer.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, that's the thing. It could be absolutely like. I can't believe you thought that.
Ryan Seacrest
Dumbass.
Roz Hernandez
That's not dumb.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay, well, I think we should do our final segment. Okay, let's do our final segment because let's be honest, we really covered it.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm actually so hopeful for the. I'm still. The more I keep thinking about it, the more I'm like, no, I do think UFOs are going to kill them and they're going to change everything for the better and I think so you.
Ryan Seacrest
Think it'll be more alien rather than ghost?
Paige DeSorbo
I think it really? Could be. I think it could be alien. Right?
Roz Hernandez
I'll tell you the closest thing I have to a belief on this stuff.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah. Okay.
Roz Hernandez
I believe that they are good. I don't think that they are. I think they have. They're so much smarter than us. They are above us. They have the capability to harm us, but I don't think they are. Sometimes I think they want to.
Paige DeSorbo
Sometimes I do think they'll farm us and, like, eat us. And then I'm like, but. But, like, you know, every time I've eaten so much chicken.
Ryan Seacrest
To be with your friends in a little. To be with your friends in a giant pot, it's like the last day on Earth.
Paige DeSorbo
The last hot tub.
Ryan Seacrest
The last hot tub.
Roz Hernandez
Absolutely. You got a lot.
Paige DeSorbo
And then each.
Ryan Seacrest
And then each time, the aliens are, like, going in and taking one of them, and you're like, oh, my God. Bye, Tyler.
Roz Hernandez
It's my turn.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
I am telling you right now, dip me in some Tapatio and. And you can have me.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow. And that's just.
Roz Hernandez
I'm ready, but I'm ready to go up there. If they're looking for, like. If they start. If they started, like a. We need. We're looking for people to teach us about people. Bye. Yeah. So nice meeting you all.
Ryan Seacrest
So maybe the most radical position of all is to just be optimistic about aliens. To be like, they are not a threat. They are a good thing, and they can, in fact, help us. And, like, why. Why is the unknown inherently scary? Why can't it be inherently exciting?
Roz Hernandez
No, it's exciting for sure, because it can be anything but. Okay. One of the most convincing documented cases of all time was from the 90s.
Paige DeSorbo
God, all the 90s.
Roz Hernandez
The aliens were very big in the 90s. But there was a case in Africa of this school of children that believe that a UFO came down and an alien came out and spoke to them telepathically. And they were interviewed by the BBC back then, and they've been since reunited and interviewed about it as, like, millennial adults.
Ryan Seacrest
And all of them agree.
Roz Hernandez
They still are all on the same page. And what they say that the. The aliens. The message that they had was, you need to take care of this planet because you guys are killing it. I truly believe that the aliens look down at, like, this Earth crumbling, and they're like, bitch, you are our neighbors, and we gotta look at your ugly ass house, so fix it.
Ryan Seacrest
Do you think they look. It's like, when they look at the Earth, it's like us watching, like, a Trashy reality show. And we're like, if only someone could teach that woman that, you know, she can't be constantly, like, ignoring the things that she's suppressing. She just has to, like, embrace her flaws and then she could finally reunite with her friend or whatever. Like, they want what's best for us, and they see us selfish, entertaining.
Roz Hernandez
So you just watch.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah. Maybe we're fun for them.
Roz Hernandez
Oh, I'm sure we're fun for them. Some of us more than others. But yes, I definitely think that.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, that's fun. Oh, to be watched.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, to be watched. To be observed, even.
Roz Hernandez
So they're good. I think they're straight, but they're good.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, that's fine.
Roz Hernandez
Which is a thing.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, you can be straight and good. Yeah, there's many documented cases of that.
Roz Hernandez
Actually, there's a lot of document cases.
Paige DeSorbo
Like Tom has Hanks.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, exactly.
Roz Hernandez
Hanks is a great example. Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Julia Roberts.
Paige DeSorbo
Yes.
Roz Hernandez
Well, let's just do this. Wait. Let me tell you one I like. Well, Elon Musk.
Paige DeSorbo
Well.
Roz Hernandez
Well, that was a test. That was a test.
Paige DeSorbo
What if we stand him? That would be funny.
Roz Hernandez
No, it wouldn't. I'm sorry. I brought the room down.
Paige DeSorbo
No, it's okay.
Ryan Seacrest
Wait, wait.
Roz Hernandez
Let me a straight that I'm. Oh, who's a straight? Oh, oh, Stephen Colbert is a great. He's.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. Oh, he was so good in Strangers with Candy.
Paige DeSorbo
God, I miss him.
Roz Hernandez
So good in that. And he's so nice and funny.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
Never met him, but he seems nice.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, you would love him.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, yeah, you would love him.
Roz Hernandez
I like him.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, get a chardonnay in him. And he is a laugh rider. He's crazy.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, Catholic. But should we do our final segment?
Paige DeSorbo
Let's do it.
Roz Hernandez
Let's do our final thing.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible snacks like Pepperidge Farms Goldfish and Kettle chips or sweet treats like Keebler Cookies, Hostess Snack Cakes, M and Ms. And Ben and Jerry's plus then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Roz Hernandez
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Joe. And I'm Serena and we are here with the Iheart Music Awards and David's Bridal, who are sponsoring this podcast.
Paige DeSorbo
And we Are so grateful to them.
Ryan Seacrest
Thank you. Thank you for finishing my sentence.
Roz Hernandez
And we are here with our favorites, Dotton and Charity.
Ryan Seacrest
Where were you in bikinis? The snow.
Paige DeSorbo
Montana. Okay.
Roz Hernandez
She flew out and joined you guys.
Ryan Seacrest
Isn't it cold?
Paige DeSorbo
No, it was we.
Ryan Seacrest
Bikinis in the snow.
Roz Hernandez
Getting hypothermia for those photos.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Ryan Seacrest
They were sick, though.
Roz Hernandez
I don't get bikinis in the snow.
Ryan Seacrest
Just like an aesthetic.
Roz Hernandez
I don't know if him and I did that. If we did, like, Speedos in the snow, you guys would be like, douchebags.
Ryan Seacrest
In the snow would be like.
Paige DeSorbo
I would be like, let's see it. Come on.
Ryan Seacrest
I would not complain. I beg him to do stuff like that. He's like, no.
Paige DeSorbo
That's going to be the name of this podcast episode. Bachelor Happy Hour. Speedos in the Snow.
Roz Hernandez
David's Bridal.
Paige DeSorbo
If you're listening to branding a little bit. Sponsored by David's Bridal. Bridal Speedos in the Snow. Honestly, Honestly.
Roz Hernandez
Honestly.
Paige DeSorbo
No one wants to think about hiv.
Ryan Seacrest
But there are things that everyone can.
Paige DeSorbo
Do to help prevent it.
Ryan Seacrest
Things like prep.
Paige DeSorbo
Prep stands for pre exposure prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce.
Ryan Seacrest
Your chances of getting it.
Paige DeSorbo
Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed.
Ryan Seacrest
It doesn't protect against other STIs, though.
Paige DeSorbo
So be sure to use condoms and.
Ryan Seacrest
Other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your.
Paige DeSorbo
Prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more.
Ryan Seacrest
Sponsored by Gilead.
Roz Hernandez
Hi, this is Debbie, your blinds.com design consultant. Oh, wow. A real person.
Paige DeSorbo
Yep.
Ryan Seacrest
I'm here to help you with everything.
Roz Hernandez
From selecting the perfect window treatments.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, I've got a complicated project.
Ryan Seacrest
No problem.
Roz Hernandez
We make the complex simple, and I can even help schedule a professional measure and install.
Ryan Seacrest
I didn't realize you did that.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, we can also send you samples fast and free. Wow.
Paige DeSorbo
I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home.
Ryan Seacrest
But scheduling's always a nightmare.
Roz Hernandez
Not with blinds dot com.
Paige DeSorbo
We're on your schedule.
Roz Hernandez
And there's no haggling, no pressure, no hidden fees either.
Ryan Seacrest
Hmm.
Paige DeSorbo
I just might have to do more. Oh, okay.
Ryan Seacrest
What?
Roz Hernandez
Whatever you need.
Ryan Seacrest
How about you tell me what you had in mind? Okay, then. So the first room we're looking at is for guests coming in. Blinds.com has covered over 25 million windows, all backed by a 100% satisfaction guarantee. ShopBlinds.com now and save up to 45%.
Roz Hernandez
On select styles, rules and restrictions may apply.
Paige DeSorbo
So you may be scared because the music is also put in afterwards.
Roz Hernandez
That's not fair. I'm a listener.
Ryan Seacrest
You have to do acapella.
Paige DeSorbo
Ye. But our final segment is called Shout Outs. In this segment, we pay homage to the grand strait tradition of the radio. Shout out. And shout out to anything that we are enjoying. People, places, things, ideas. George.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, I'll do it.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah. Okay.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay. What's up, world travelers, travel bloggers, anyone who has boarded a Delta flight recently, I want to give a shout out to those Biscoff. That's what they're called, right?
Paige DeSorbo
Yep.
Ryan Seacrest
Those Biscoff cookies that they give you. And especially when a gay little flight attendant gives you two. And so of does a little like, you know, wink, as though it's your little secret. Because let me tell you something. Those cookies, unlike some other things you might be served in a travel experience, they have a real kick to them. There is flavor there. They have put the ginger snap flavor. There's some. It's like the right level of sugar. They are crunchy. They're not like, stale like you might expect. There is also actually enough of them. There are two per pack, and if they give you two packs, that's four. That is way more than the sun chips that you get if you order sun chips in that same Delta flight, which is approximately two and a half chips in one bag. And I actually had a really shocking experience the other day. I brought home one of those Biscoff cookies and as a kind of little surprise gift, gave it to my husband. And two days later, I see it uneaten on his bedside table. I say, I make some joke, oh, you still haven't eaten your gift I got you. He goes, yeah, I was sort of gonna throw that out and hope you wouldn't notice. I said, I'm sorry, does it not sound appealing to have these crunchy, delicious, ginger snapish cookies that I got from my flight? He's like, no, that actually sounds, like, really bad. I would never, like, willingly eat those. I only eat them because they're only thing available in the air. I was like, oh, so we basically are completely different people and have nothing in common.
Roz Hernandez
Just. Am I allowed to talk at this part?
Ryan Seacrest
I mean, this is, you know, sort of. The comedy is coming from the fact that I'm still talking. But anyway, so I want to give a shout out to Biscoff and to everyone who enjoys them. But now I would love to hear your thoughts.
Roz Hernandez
Well, so you're saying that you enjoy them on land?
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, Actually. And you know what else? I recently had a job where one of the office snacks was those little packets of Biscoff cookies, and I would eat them in the office.
Roz Hernandez
I didn't even know those existed.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, I didn't know you could.
Ryan Seacrest
Would. Do you disagree with me and think they're just sort of like something you have on the air, but then you would never have them in real life.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah. To me, it's kind of like when you get fries and you, like, eat them without any sauce. Like when you're. I mean, maybe as a New Yorker, you can't relate, but, like, when you're driving home or something, like, oh, I'll just eat.
Ryan Seacrest
But that's different than good fries you get at a restaurant or something.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, but, like, I would never eat them without a sauce. But I just, like. Because of the situation, it, like. Like, whatever. I don't know. But anyway, see, now I have many times been like, I'm not really in the mood for that right now. So I put it in my purse, and then I get to the hotel or home or whatever, and I'm just not interested, really. I know, but I love them.
Paige DeSorbo
When I do, I see where Matthew's coming from.
Ryan Seacrest
Damn.
Roz Hernandez
When it's right. It's right, though, when you're up in the air.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Paige DeSorbo
And I'm also sure the gesture was still fun. Like, I bet he liked the gesture. But it's also one of those things. It's like getting a gift from, like, a toddler where you're like, oh, of course. Where you're like, thanks.
Ryan Seacrest
I mean, I know it is a. I know it is like, a not a good gift, strictly speaking, but to me, if someone gave me one of those, I'd be like, ooh, fun. And I would eat it on the spot.
Roz Hernandez
Was this. Be honest. Was it his birthday? Can you imagine? You. Or is this an anniversary?
Ryan Seacrest
This is literally, like, our anniversary. And that was my gift to him.
Paige DeSorbo
So I do understand where he's coming from.
Ryan Seacrest
No, I get it. But I actually recently was looking at a recipe where the pie. For a pie, where the pie crust was made of Biscoff cookies. And I have.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Roz Hernandez
Damn.
Ryan Seacrest
I guess I'm just a stand.
Paige DeSorbo
You're. You're a bizarre.
Roz Hernandez
I love them with a coffee, and it just, like, melts in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
And I just like the ginger. I like the crunch and I like the ginger.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah, I love ginger.
Paige DeSorbo
Okay, I will go now. Okay. This is complicated. What's up? Everyone around the globe, whether you are driving an unidentified flying object or simply car. I want to give a shout out to knowing how to parallel park. I have learned how to be good at parallel parking in a way that feels against my character and it feels against type. And I used to take pride in the fact that I'm bad at driving and be like, look at me, bom bom bom. I'm flying around and I don't know what I'm doing. Now I'm whipping into parking spots like you wouldn't believe. And it looks like I do it with the hand.
Roz Hernandez
And I'm one hand, one hand and.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm flying straight into this parking spot and I'm like, this makes me, I feel very straight. Honestly feel very masked when I do it. I feel very like high school jock even. And in a way that is like, it gives me a crisis of identity but also is like makes I'm like, damn. I can really rest easy now because I can drive around and it's not scary. So I want to give a shout out to my driving ability. It's sort of like, you know, sorry to bring him up. Harry Potter finding out he's a wizard. You know, it's a, it's a pressure and it's also, you know, a gift. So I will not be spitting on my own gifts. I will be accepting them. And I accept that I'm a good driver. Xoxo, Sam, that's beautiful.
Ryan Seacrest
Hang up and try again.
Roz Hernandez
I mean, I have something to say that is. It's going to get me in trouble. Oh, I'm going to get canceled. I used to be so good at parallel parking. Pre transition. That's all I'm saying.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh my God, that is so funny.
Roz Hernandez
I started taking estrogen, baby. I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but I can't. You know how many I've hit? I've hit cars. Of course I've hit cars.
Ryan Seacrest
Wow.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Ryan Seacrest
That's the clip.
Roz Hernandez
Well, I'm sorry but I don't know if they're related. Maybe it's because I usually have. I don't today, but I usually have.
Ryan Seacrest
Jumbo nails and that also coincide you. You feel like the jumbo nails me.
Paige DeSorbo
Maybe are making it worse.
Roz Hernandez
Could be something but I'm very bad at it.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Roz Hernandez
Very bad.
Paige DeSorbo
It's interesting.
Roz Hernandez
And I was so good at it.
Paige DeSorbo
Interesting.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, well, small price to pay.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah. The world is so mysterious. Okay, would you like to do a shout out whenever you are ready.
Roz Hernandez
Hey people. It's hard to think of a name for the people.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Roz Hernandez
Hello, people at home listening on the airwaves. This is Roz, and I want to tell you I want to give a shout out to the. To the Easter season.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh.
Roz Hernandez
Specifically, we know Jesus is back, but another thing that's back this year. Tootsie Roll eggs. Yeah. They burst onto the scene, at least to my knowledge. Loud. Last year. They're Tootsie Rolls shaped like eggs with a candy coating. Crunchy and chewy at the same time. They are so delicious. From what I hear, there is an egg shortage in this country right now. There is a Tootsie Roll egg shortage as well, because I can't get them up my mouth. Tootsie Roll eggs.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Ryan Seacrest
I love that. Wow.
Paige DeSorbo
I love that. That as well.
Ryan Seacrest
I'm gonna be honest with you. That sounds absolutely disgusting.
Paige DeSorbo
Yeah, it doesn't really sound like my.
Ryan Seacrest
Style, but I really appreciate the, like, innovation in the food space that is taking place.
Paige DeSorbo
And I just love a new thing.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes, it's fun.
Paige DeSorbo
It's fun.
Roz Hernandez
It's egg shaped.
Paige DeSorbo
Oh, we need. We deserve a new thing.
Roz Hernandez
But by the way, they're, like, little. They're not.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, they better be.
Roz Hernandez
It's not like a big egg.
Ryan Seacrest
I mean, can you imagine a giant ass? Tootsie Roll? Egg ostrich.
Paige DeSorbo
Tootsie Roll.
Ryan Seacrest
It's literally all, like, stuck on your teeth.
Roz Hernandez
I would do it. I'd give it a shot.
Ryan Seacrest
You like the taste of a Tootsie Roll?
Roz Hernandez
Yes.
Ryan Seacrest
Wow.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Roz Hernandez
Neither do we do.
Ryan Seacrest
We're having the exact same conversation as with the Biscoff thing, where both you and I came into it. So, like, so ready to be a right. And then the other two people are like, I don't know.
Roz Hernandez
No, I'm right. I don't give a shit. They're fucking good.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow. You're maybe the first person I've ever heard that loves Tootsie Rolls.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah. To me, Tootsie Rolls are such a classic flop candy.
Roz Hernandez
That's insane. You people need to connect with your inner child.
Ryan Seacrest
Here's what it. Here's what tissue rules are. To me. It's like before science was advanced enough to make good candy. That's what they made.
Roz Hernandez
You lost your mind. Okay, I feel very attacked right now. We need. We're doing a survey@stradiolab.com. what do you think?
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, I would love to know.
Roz Hernandez
We'll do discussion or delicious.
Ryan Seacrest
And we'll do a. We'll do a poll when we release this episode. Yeah, I'm curious. I have to say, Raz, I don't think it's gonna go your way.
Roz Hernandez
I believe it is. Okay. They came up in a conversation earlier today with a friend of mine and could name drop, but I'm gonna choose not to.
Paige DeSorbo
Is it someone with a big public influence?
Ryan Seacrest
Stephen Colbert?
Roz Hernandez
Yes, it is. And this friend of mine said I'm ordering them right now on the Internet because that sounds like the most delicious thing I've ever heard.
Ryan Seacrest
Rachel Dredd.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow. Sounds too famous to go into a store and buy them.
Roz Hernandez
So I'll have you know I'm not the only person in this world that thinks Tootsie Roll eggs sound like a delicious thing to me.
Paige DeSorbo
That's like a tax write off they keep making because they just need to say, like, we, we lost this much money this year.
Ryan Seacrest
They're also like purely aesthetic seasons.
Roz Hernandez
They're hard to find. I'm not kidding you. There is an egg shortage. They find.
Ryan Seacrest
And like a. In like a Halloween bowl. It's like you need a few Tootsie Rolls just for variety, but not because anyone actually wants them.
Paige DeSorbo
They are the non marshmallows.
Ryan Seacrest
Exactly.
Roz Hernandez
No, that is Necco Wafers, candy corns, like that kind of shit is.
Ryan Seacrest
I actually also agree about candy corn.
Roz Hernandez
Tootsie Rolls. No.
Paige DeSorbo
Well, I'll eat a candy corn if it's around Halloween.
Roz Hernandez
Can we, can we ask the two of them?
Ryan Seacrest
Okay. Do.
Paige DeSorbo
Do you guys like Tootsie Rolls?
Ryan Seacrest
I do. Like, yes, we have one yet. Olivia, I love.
Roz Hernandez
Thank you.
Ryan Seacrest
Two out of two.
Paige DeSorbo
Whatever this podcast, those are allies. This podcast is officially over. Thank you for doing this.
Ryan Seacrest
Wow.
Paige DeSorbo
I'm like, wait, can we end on that note?
Roz Hernandez
Sure. Can I give a shout out about something I want to tell people about and.
Ryan Seacrest
No, no, we do want to do that. Where can people find you? Where can people listen to you? Where can people get more of your infectious energy?
Roz Hernandez
Well, yeah, so I got that podcast. It's called Ghost, hosted by Ross Hernandez. I'd love for both of you to come on something.
Paige DeSorbo
We'd love to.
Roz Hernandez
I talked to like, funny people, cool people, famous people, whatever about just ghosts. And we have, we have all kinds of fun conversation. Ghosts, aliens, psychics, whatever, all that stuff everywhere. You get podcasts every Monday. But then this is very straight gay on topic. I had this genius idea about, you know, how like, stand up comedians, like, especially like straight stand up comedians can just like go to like the Haha room hole in like the middle of like smaller cities in Haha Wyoming. I can't do that. Okay. But I want to. So I have this idea Where I'm gonna do that at gay clubs. So I'm doing like these 8 o'clock shows at gay clubs, like, all over the country. And I'm literally driving and I'm hoping to do dozens.
Paige DeSorbo
That's so fun.
Ryan Seacrest
Are you planning them as you go?
Roz Hernandez
No, I'm planning them now.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, so it's like a full tour.
Roz Hernandez
Yeah. I haven't announced all the dates yet. Because I haven't confirmed all the dates yet. But there's definitely quite a few confirmed all over the country. And so.
Ryan Seacrest
And this is standup.
Roz Hernandez
Stand up. Yeah, just like doing stand.
Paige DeSorbo
And I'm like, where are you going in Chicago?
Roz Hernandez
But I'm like, maybe we need to all do this more. Like, I want it to become a thing.
Ryan Seacrest
Here's what I'll say to you.
Roz Hernandez
Okay.
Ryan Seacrest
Performing at gay bars is easier for women than men.
Roz Hernandez
It is, but it's also very different when it's a special event that is ticketed. No, that's true.
Paige DeSorbo
If it's ticketed and you have to.
Roz Hernandez
That's what I'm doing. No, no, no. I'm not just, like, showing up. I'm like, this is a ticketed event. Okay.
Paige DeSorbo
Some of the worst shows in my life have been at gay bars.
Ryan Seacrest
No, I know.
Roz Hernandez
I have also experienced that as well. But so, yeah, I'm just like, doing this fun tour that's like, going to be super gay and like, you know, give everyone just, like, you know, a good hour and a half to just sort of be gay and take our minds off at times.
Ryan Seacrest
So more than 25.
Paige DeSorbo
More than hour. 25. So longer than a movie should be.
Roz Hernandez
With free meet and greet included.
Paige DeSorbo
Wow.
Roz Hernandez
You can leave if you want.
Ryan Seacrest
That's interesting.
Paige DeSorbo
Right near transitioned lenses.
Roz Hernandez
So go to instagram.com razhernandez for all of the info. Thank you for letting me use the platform.
Ryan Seacrest
Shout out to everyone who makes this podcast who loves Tootsie Rolls. We are grateful.
Paige DeSorbo
We love Tootsie Rolls as well. We've never said anything bad about them.
Ryan Seacrest
And are so happy to be part of this community.
Paige DeSorbo
The Tootsie Roll community and family.
Roz Hernandez
When's the last time you both had a Tootsie Roll?
Ryan Seacrest
1994.
Roz Hernandez
There's your problem.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, maybe it is an acquired taste and we didn't like it because we were kids and kids can't appreciate something.
Paige DeSorbo
That's not what's going on here. Okay, let's end.
Ryan Seacrest
Bye.
Paige DeSorbo
Bye. Podcast ends now.
Ryan Seacrest
Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.
Paige DeSorbo
Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.
Ryan Seacrest
Now get back to work.
Paige DeSorbo
Stradiolab is a Production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.
Ryan Seacrest
Created and hosted by George Severis and.
Paige DeSorbo
Sam Taggart executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang Edited and engineered by.
Ryan Seacrest
Adam Avalos Artwork by Michael Fails and.
Paige DeSorbo
Matt Grubb Theme music by Ben Kling.
Ryan Seacrest
Ever wake up feeling lousy knowing something.
Roz Hernandez
Is off with your body?
Ryan Seacrest
You don't have time for guesswork. You need viome. Forget all the generic health fads.
Roz Hernandez
Viome doesn't tell you what you want.
Ryan Seacrest
To hear, it tells you what's actually going on on inside your body. By analyzing your gut microbiome, viome delivers a custom health plan that's as unique as your DNA. It's science, not nonsense. Want energy? What better digestion?
Roz Hernandez
Viome has your back.
Ryan Seacrest
Stop trusting amateurs. Go to viome.com for a personalized Gut professional. Now call Star Star gut to get $50 off a full body intelligence test that star star488 to receive a link to the offer. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items from Tropicana Lemonade or breakfast favorites like General Mills Cereal, Coffee Mate Creamer, Quaker Cereal, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. Famous Smoke's been offering the best selection of premium cigars at the best prices for 85 years and somehow they're still the best kept secret. Family owned and stocked with millions of cigars, all delivered fast and fresh to your door. Go online to famous smoke.com and use code clay for 20 bucks off your order of 99 or more. Get your favorite brands like Fuente, Romeo, Monte Cristo and Cohiba. Or try something new. Get the best cigars at better prices.
Paige DeSorbo
Than your local shop.
Ryan Seacrest
Famous smoke.com promo code clay the Unshakables.
Paige DeSorbo
Podcast is kicking off season two with.
Ryan Seacrest
An episode you won't want to to miss.
Paige DeSorbo
Join host Ben Walter, CEO of Chase.
Ryan Seacrest
For Business as he welcomes a very special guest, Chairman and CEO of JP Morgan Chase, Jamie Dimon hear about the.
Paige DeSorbo
Challenges facing small businesses and some of the oh moments Jamie has overcome. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Ryan Seacrest
Chase Mobile app is available for select mobile devices.
Paige DeSorbo
Message and data rates may apply.
Ryan Seacrest
JP Morgan Chase Bank NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 JP Morgan Chase &.
StraightioLab - Episode: "UFOs" with Roz Hernandez
Release Date: March 25, 2025
Hosts: George Civeris and Sam Taggart
Guest: Roz Hernandez
At [03:15], hosts George Civeris and Sam Taggart kick off the episode with light-hearted banter, setting a casual and humorous tone. They engage in playful teasing about wardrobe choices, which smoothly transitions into the main discussion.
Roz Hernandez is warmly welcomed as the episode's guest at [09:08]. George and Sam share anecdotes about meeting Roz in San Francisco, highlighting her vibrant personality and long-time listener status. Roz brings a unique perspective as a researcher and podcast host herself, adding depth to the conversation.
Roz Hernandez [38:03]:
"Ghosts to me are gay. UFOs, it's cars. It's very straight."
Roz introduces the central theme by categorizing paranormal phenomena through a cultural lens—ghosts embodying queer attributes and UFOs representing straight sensibilities. This distinction frames the ensuing dialogue on societal interpretations of the supernatural.
Sam Taggart [41:38]:
"The straight approach is to want answers deeply, scientifically and violently."
Sam elaborates on the contrast, suggesting that the straight perspective seeks concrete, often aggressive answers to mysteries like UFOs, whereas the queer approach embraces ambiguity and romanticizes the unknown.
Roz and the hosts delve into the societal narratives surrounding UFOs, noting the prevalence of conspiracy theories and military associations that complicate public perception.
Roz Hernandez [38:39]:
"There's cons, it's... part of the reason I'm not obsessed with it as much because ghosts aren't as much conspiracy culture."
Roz explains her selective interest, favoring topics less entangled with conspiratorial thinking, which she associates more with UFO discourse.
Roz shares her experiences hosting a podcast called "Ghosted," where she explores ghosts and UFOs without asserting belief. Her approach fosters open-ended discussions, encouraging listeners to ponder possibilities without necessitating definitive answers.
Roz Hernandez [48:22]:
"I'm not saying I believe any of this stuff. I'm here for anything is possible."
This statement underscores Roz's objective stance, promoting exploration over conviction.
The conversation shifts to the hypothetical effects of confirmed UFO existence on societal development and technological progress.
Paige DeSorbo [45:29]:
"We need like a third option... something to come on a Z axis and spin us in a different direction."
Paige suggests that discovering UFOs could introduce a paradigm shift, offering an alternative pathway to the linear, technology-driven progression currently dominant.
Roz and the hosts engage in playful speculation about alien motives and appearances, blending humor with imaginative scenarios.
Roz Hernandez [60:11]:
"I have a theory that the aliens might just be like middle-aged white ladies that they want like turquoise jewelry."
This humorous take adds levity while illustrating the creative freedom in discussing extraterrestrial possibilities.
Roz expresses a cautiously optimistic view of aliens, perceiving them as intelligent beings potentially capable of aiding humanity rather than posing threats.
Roz Hernandez [68:05]:
"I believe that they are good. They are so much smarter than us."
This perspective invites listeners to reconsider preconceived notions about alien intentions, advocating for a more hopeful outlook.
The hosts and Roz conclude by emphasizing the value of embracing uncertainty and remaining open to possibilities, whether in the realm of UFOs or broader paranormal phenomena.
Ryan Seacrest [69:27]:
"Why is the unknown inherently scary? Why can't it be inherently exciting?"
This rhetorical question encapsulates the episode's overarching message, encouraging a shift from fear to fascination regarding the unexplained.
Roz Hernandez [38:03]:
"Ghosts to me are gay. UFOs, it's cars. It's very straight."
Sam Taggart [41:38]:
"The straight approach is to want answers deeply, scientifically and violently."
Roz Hernandez [48:22]:
"I'm not saying I believe any of this stuff. I'm here for anything is possible."
Paige DeSorbo [45:29]:
"We need like a third option... something to come on a Z axis and spin us in a different direction."
Roz Hernandez [68:05]:
"I believe that they are good. They are so much smarter than us."
Ryan Seacrest [69:27]:
"Why is the unknown inherently scary? Why can't it be inherently exciting?"
Cultural Dichotomy: The episode presents an innovative framework by categorizing paranormal phenomena into queer and straight cultural lenses, fostering a nuanced understanding of societal attitudes.
Embracing Uncertainty: Roz advocates for appreciating the mysteries of UFOs and ghosts without the compulsion to find concrete explanations, promoting intellectual curiosity.
Impact on Society: Discovering UFOs could fundamentally alter technological and societal trajectories, suggesting the necessity for flexible thinking in the face of potential paradigm shifts.
Optimistic Outlook: A hopeful perspective on extraterrestrial life encourages openness and collaboration, challenging the often adversarial narrative portrayed in mainstream media.
The "UFOs" episode of StraightioLab, featuring Roz Hernandez, offers a rich and engaging exploration of how straight and queer cultures perceive and interact with paranormal phenomena. Through humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful analysis, George, Sam, and Roz invite listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and societal narratives surrounding the unknown. The episode underscores the importance of embracing mystery and maintaining an open, inquisitive mindset in the pursuit of understanding the multifaceted tapestry of culture.