
Tom Rosenthal talks to strangers on park benches, often leading to surprising revelations.
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A
Hello.
B
Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question?
A
Yeah, sure.
B
I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I sit next to people for 10 or 15 minutes and ask a few questions about their lives. Would you be up for such a thing?
A
Yeah, sure.
B
Fantastic.
A
Sounds fun. That's the dream.
B
What's your favorite day of the week?
A
That would have to be Sunday morning.
B
Just Sunday morning?
A
Yeah, Sunday morning.
B
Forget Sunday afternoon.
A
Yeah, Sunday morning.
B
Why?
A
Well, for me anyway, you got the day to relax and I always put on the same playlist I always put on the Velvet Underground. Have some tofu. It's always a good morning.
B
Love it. Just straight off. Velvet Underground tofu on its own, scrambled on toast. You know, you got that ritual for Sunday. Perfect. It sounds like you love it.
A
Yeah.
B
Could you. Could you kind of try and replicate it for other days of the week?
A
No, I could, yeah. I just don't. That would remove some of the speciality of it, I suppose. I don't know. The playlist I listen to is called Sunday Morning, so I couldn't possibly put that on another day. No, you couldn't flip it.
B
So what happens on Sunday afternoon? It all goes downhill.
A
I don't know. I normally read. No, Sunday afternoon is always good because it's just come after Sunday morning.
B
Yeah, perfect. Okay, tell me, why do you read?
A
Because it's always more interesting than my life, I suppose. Normally I read fantasy. So that's a form of escapism. I guess. Sometimes it's more exciting to be in a book than the real world.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. I think if you've got the time, reading's just as useful, beneficial as like meditation.
B
Yeah.
A
It's so peaceful. What's your favorite book?
B
Oh, God. Favorite book.
A
You can pick a top three if you want.
B
Probably Beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche.
A
I've never heard. No. What's it about?
B
It's Nietzsche, the philosopher who is quite mad.
A
Sort of like a self help book.
B
No, I suppose like an early self help book. Yeah. Early self help book vibe, but kind of. Some of it is off the wall.
A
Yeah.
B
Some of it is incredibly potent in terms of the human condition and just understanding how people work. What is it about a fantasy that gets you just the escape?
A
Yeah. And there's always something fun about magic.
B
There is always.
A
There's always something fun about magic.
B
That's so right.
A
You don't see dragons on Parliament Hill.
B
Does that mean you kind of wish your life was a bit more exciting somehow? Do you kind of crave a Certain level of excitement that isn't quite there.
A
I suppose so. No. My life's not that exciting, by the way.
B
I don't think. I don't think lives need to be exciting. No, there is. No, that's not me saying I think it should be. It's more just. I'm interested to know what you think is the most exciting thing about your life.
A
No, there is definitely something enjoyable about, like, just living a. Like a peaceful life, if you know what I mean. Going on a walk sort of thing. Yeah, But I don't know the most exciting thing about my life at the moment. I'm going on holiday with my friends in a couple of weeks, but that's not very exciting.
B
Well, it could be exciting.
A
It will. I'm excited for it.
B
How many friends?
A
There's just four of us going, what.
B
Is it about the four that works? Or could it go wrong?
A
We're housemates at uni, so it's not going to go wrong. Maybe I'll come back to this in, like, a few years and be like.
B
Oh, my God, what is university like?
A
It's good. I'm studying writing. I want to be an author.
B
Why?
A
Because I love reading.
B
Have you written anything yet?
A
Yeah, I've written a book, but I'm still editing it at the moment. It's taken ages. I finished it a year ago now and I'm still editing it.
B
Yeah. What would you like people to feel when they read your words?
A
I feel like literature or poetry, at least. You've got to be changed by the words. If someone reads my writing and thinks about life in a different way, that would be really nice, if that makes sense.
B
That's better. How did you get on with your parents?
A
Very well. Very good.
B
What have they.
A
Yesterday.
B
Oh, you told them yesterday. How did that go?
A
It was good. I got back from holiday with them, actually.
B
Oh, lovely. Go on holiday with the folks.
A
No, they're brilliant.
B
Tell me what you think they do.
A
Well, my dad, because he's very funny and he offers lots of advice. My mum, she's so kind. Yeah.
B
So is there anything about your parents you find tricky?
A
Not that I can think of. They both support the fact that I want to be a writer, which is not like a career path that's particularly riddled with opportunities. No, everything's fine. I do need a more exciting life. This is, I suppose this is exciting. This is something to.
B
There you go.
A
This is the start of my interest in life.
B
This is just the journey.
A
It's like the butterfly effect.
B
Yeah. Do you collect anything Oh, I used.
A
To collect train tickets. Had over a thousand train tickets at one point.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
And then what happened?
A
Then I read a book on minimalism.
B
They can't be taking up that much space.
A
I binned every single one. No, yeah, I know, I know.
B
Take me through the moment you open the bin. A thousand train tickets in your hand. You just dump them in the bin.
A
I had them all stuck on my wall as well. Yeah, it was great. And people would bring in train tickets to give me at school.
B
That was your thing.
A
That was my thing.
B
What was the most exciting, exciting train ticket you had? If you can go back and retrieve one?
A
Do you mean I had a lot from Broxbourne to Northumberland Park. You probably don't know either of these stations.
B
Well, take me through the journey. What is it about that journey?
A
I'm a Spurs fan, the football team, and we'd always go to Broxbourne and get the train to Northumberland Park. And I had about more than 100 of those, so it'd be nice to have one of those back. Because I've moved house now. I no longer do that journey.
B
Can you remember the details of that journey? Like, what do you see on the way?
A
I can't remember. I can remember the stations hit me. Cheshunt, Waltham Cross, Enfield Lock, Ponder's End, Brimsdown, Angel Road or Angel street, but it's closed now and it's been replaced by Meridian Water. And then Northumberland park. And then you'd walk along the road to White Hart Lane, or Tottenham Hotspur Stadium as it's now known.
B
Do you have a partner?
A
No, I don't.
B
When you think ahead, do you think, oh, wow, they're out there somewhere. So we're lucky upon the city. No, they could just be walking around.
A
I was thinking that about 20 minutes ago.
B
Really?
A
Literally before you started interviewing me, I was sat here just watching the View. I'd finished a chapter in this. I like to take a break between chapters. I was thinking, wonder if the person I'm gonna, like, end up with is, like, in there somewhere. I don't know.
B
There's a really good chance they're in there somewhere because we're looking upon a very concentrated bit of London.
A
But I don't think there's just one person for anyone, though I think there's definitely more.
B
Yeah, for sure. So what we could say then is there's. There's a multiple people wandering around out there.
A
I just need to go on a long walk around.
B
That's where the big flag.
A
Yeah.
B
Are you the Person wandering around.
A
That would be an exciting thing to do.
B
Yeah.
A
But also kind of weird. Instead. I'll read mysteriously on a bench at the top of the hill and just hope they walk past me.
B
Is there anyone that you know now that you're interested in?
A
Yeah.
B
Can you say any more? Whisper. Me.
A
More. Whisper's a nice name for.
B
Whisper's great.
A
I'm assuming it's a dog. Me. More.
B
It's like my Korea's girlfriend.
A
No. Oh, that would have been such a good plot twist. Oh, there's two.
B
Oh, is that the other one called me And More. He could have been talking to two different dogs. One's called he could say whisper, my love, come to me.
A
Yes. No, that makes more sense, I think. Although we'll never know. Don't you think it's crazy we're never gonna see that guy again. Probably, yeah. And he's just going off on his day and he's got an entire whole life serve those three people there. Oh, I don't want to think about it too much. It's so, like. It's so just. It's so massive, isn't it?
B
You know what's so funny? I mean, I really, like. You said that it's nice to be aware enough of life that you think about those things sometimes, because it is.
A
Do you think about it? Yeah, of course.
B
I think I hopefully give myself enough space to have those thoughts. I mean, obviously that thought is like a completely tragic thought. Like, there's a great quote I've got who said it. Something like, what's the point crying over parts of life? Oh, I think it's Seneca, actually. Sorry. What's the point of crying over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.
A
Oh, that's a brilliant. That is brilliant.
B
That is the point. You know, as in, like, you know, you've just seen this guy for the last time. He said, whisper me and more, and that's it.
A
That's the only information.
B
And also, how could you not cry at that? I mean, there's nothing. There can't be anything more sad. The way to make it, what I think is how can you make that thought useful? And obviously it's a beautiful thought. It's a poignant thought. I say you, you know, you. You grab your opportunities when they come.
A
What, and go up to the guy and be like, is your dog cool?
B
But there'll be people. There'll be people who you think you might get on with, or people you might like or things to throw yourself into that you want to be part of. You know, if you're in a supermarket, if someone's wearing a nice shirt, go, nice shirt. You know, just don't leave these things behind.
A
Yeah, that's true. Or, you know, it's so nice to be complimented in a supermarket, actually, because the lighting is so awful in there.
B
Exactly.
A
Yeah. That's.
B
You know, one nice compliment can Change someone's day 100%.
A
100%. 100%. Imagine if you went round just complimenting people for the entire day. You could, like, make 100.
B
Oh, definitely. Any small interactions feel good and it.
A
Only takes the small bits. Like, this is fun.
B
There we go.
A
This is something to talk about.
B
There you go.
A
It's really. It's really.
B
But also, how easy is this? Most people want to talk to one another and it's just a question of starting.
A
Isn't it crazy to think that if you weren't recording this, this conversation would never have happened?
B
There you go. Well, it would have happened. We would have felt it somehow completely.
A
I always think about that, like, I don't know if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, doesn't make a sound. I don't know if you do anything and it's not recognized or noticed. Does it even happen?
B
Can I tell you something? I think so. I am 37 years old. Would you have guessed that?
A
No, I would have guessed 32, probably.
B
That's very sweet of you. And I've actually had this idea to do this since I was a teenager.
A
Really?
B
Yeah.
A
That's cool.
B
And I've only just started this year. What made you start it this year? And sometimes you go, God, I could have done that anytime. Why now? Like, what is it about now? I like the idea that all timing is kind of perfect. As long as you do it. The right time is the right time. Now, you know what you were saying about, like, you know, this conversation, if we didn't have the microphones would have just drifted off and it would have made any difference. Every conversation I've had with every different person in my life, which is thousands upon thousands of conversations, all kind of different people. They've all informed me about how to do this as well as I can.
A
That's true.
B
And they've all added.
A
It's all been prep.
B
Yeah, it's all being a good interview. You know, all your conversations you've had so thus far will inform your next ones, whatever they are.
A
I agree.
B
So I think nothing is wasted.
A
No, you don't. Sometimes you don't even realize something's a lesson until afterwards. I don't know. Everything is teaching you something.
B
Yeah.
A
Do you do this full time?
B
This?
A
Yeah. Like podcasting? Like recording people.
B
Can you guess what I do full time?
A
Something creative, I reckon. Correct. I don't reckon it's to do with writing, otherwise you would have mentioned that when I talked about it. So I reckon something like.
B
I'm a Hollywood film star.
A
Maybe acting, maybe. It's possible.
B
Look, the children are about to run down the hill. Or they.
A
No, they're definitely about to run down the hill. Surely. I was thinking earlier how fun it'd be to try and Rolly Poly down this hill.
B
Should do it.
A
I should.
B
Maybe we'll roll down together after this.
A
Roll down the hill? That would be chaotic. This would be.
B
This will also be the first. The first. This will mark you say you always remember rolling down the hill with someone you just met. Maybe we should do it.
A
That'd be fun.
B
There they go. They're running down. The children are running down the hill. It's like a version of that cheese event. Do you know the one that cheese. They all follow the big cheese, but no one's fallen over.
A
How innocent is this as well? Like how sweet. What a nice thing to do. And I don't know how free. This way, mate. Harvey, wait a sec. You didn't. You didn't answer what you do.
B
Maybe I was trying to divert you.
A
Yeah, but you still.
B
You didn't guess it correctly.
A
Something creative maybe. Like an architect.
B
Oh, that's nice.
A
No, no, an artist.
B
You mean visual artist.
A
Like a painter? Yeah.
B
No, I'm not a painter.
A
Okay, go on.
B
Wait.
A
You just give up. Oh, tattoo artist.
B
No, I mean, it's a nice idea. I don't have just. I also don't have any tattoos. Do you have any tattoos?
A
No, I don't. I don't.
B
You should get one, maybe. What would you get?
A
I don't know.
B
Train ticket from. What are the two stations?
A
Broxport, Northumberland Park. I should anyway.
B
Right, Sorry. You want to know what I. What I. Yeah, tell me. Okay. Shall I give you three options?
A
Okay. Yeah.
B
This is. Make it more exciting. I am. Option one, an animator. Option two.
A
That one works.
B
A singer, songwriter.
A
It's possible.
B
Option three. I am.
A
I think you're an animator. Option.
B
Life coach.
A
No. Are you an animator?
B
No.
A
What are you? A life coach?
B
No.
A
So you're a singer Somewhere. Actually.
B
Correct.
A
Fun. What sort of music do you sing? I can imagine it being like sort of like folky music.
B
Correct.
A
Yeah.
B
Like boring white person music. So I describe It.
A
There's nothing boring about it.
B
Well, you haven't heard it yet.
A
You.
B
You probably will find it quite dull. I think we got to start our look starting life by rolling down the hill.
A
I'll roll down the hill. Although I'm going to take this jumper off because I really like this jumper.
B
Yeah, you can take whatever you want on. I don't want to ruin any of your clothes, but I feel like. Then it's like a moment, you know?
A
That'd be fun. Okay. Yeah.
B
And also, I quite like the fact that no one's gonna know. And it's that magic of like, did they roll down the hill? Do they actually do that?
A
Damn.
B
Is there anything invisible about you that you wish? Invisible? What people? What don't people know about you?
A
Invisible? What people? Something about my personality or like.
B
Or anything.
A
What.
B
What. What is. What. What do you keep away from other people?
A
I suppose this. This is anonymous, isn't it?
B
This is anonymous.
A
This is anonymous.
B
Nobody's gonna know unless I have a.
A
Really distinctive voice and some of my friends happen to listen to this.
B
Yeah. What don't people know about you?
A
Don't people know about me? I have a brain tumor.
B
Whoa. Okay.
A
And you wouldn't know that on first sight, I guess.
B
No, I wouldn't know that on first sight.
A
I've got my first radiotherapy appointment this afternoon, actually.
B
Crikey.
A
So that's what I'm doing. Sat on a bench, waiting.
B
Oh, my God. Can you say more?
A
Oh, I'm not gonna die.
B
You're not gonna die.
A
No, it's not cancerous. It's. It's on the memory part of my brain. So my memory's not very good, but.
B
Well, you remember your train status?
A
I do. I do. I do remember those.
B
What's it like having a brain tumor?
A
It was quite shocking when I found out.
B
How did you find out?
A
I was in Lidl doing a shop with my friends September 2022, and I've been getting, like, deja vu episodes, like epileptic fits for, like, a couple of years before that. And then I had a deja vu episode that lasted like eight hours. I was just, like, lying on the sofa, like, oh, my God, this has happened before. So my mum phoned 111 and we booked a. What's it called? MRI scan. And then I got the results back while I was in Liddle. And the woman was like, we've got your results from your MRI and you've got growth on your brain. I was like, that's a. Unexpected.
B
Were you at the checkout at this point?
A
No, I was down the cereal aisle and then. Yeah, it was in the April of 2023 that they. I had some surgery. I was in hospital for like two and a half weeks. But it's still not all gone. So they want. This summer I'm getting six months of radiotherapy.
B
Wow. I mean there's so many questions now about this.
A
You can ask, I don't mind. I don't really tell my friends. So. It's quite nice. It's anonymous.
B
Yeah. Why don't you tell your friends?
A
I don't know. I'm worried that they'd feel sorry for me. But there's nothing to feel sorry about.
B
Yeah, I mean the way you've just talked to me now, just like I've got this. I'm not gonna die. I'm feeling this.
A
Yeah. I just don't want to be treated any differently because of it.
B
So what happens? So you have radiotherapy and then what, like what is that?
A
That stops it from growing anymore. So I should be able to live a relatively normal life. I'm on a anti seizure like medication that'll be for life. I might lose a bit of my hair and stuff during the process, but I shaved it all off anyway.
B
It looks good.
A
I know you wouldn't believe it, but it was actually shoulder length before.
B
Oh, really?
A
I know it's easy. Sort of like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Which by the way, cinematic masterpieces.
B
What happens with the epileptic fits? Then what happens?
A
So it's so weird. So what happens is I get deja vu like really badly. So like if I was sat here, I'd notice every single thing had happened before. Like the people running there, the exact movements. Like everything becomes like hyper focused, if that makes sense. And then I get like weirdly emotional. I'd suck, right? And stuff. And then afterwards I lose memory that it's happened. So I'll have like a blank, like a five minute blank. I'll be like. But now I don't get that anymore.
B
How's it, how does it at all change you to the experience?
A
I suppose I appreciate being outside a lot more. The two weeks I was in hospital, it was so frustrating. Yeah. The first day I was allowed back outside it was great. And now I really like being outside a lot more and like enjoying nature.
B
Fantastic.
A
Yeah.
B
Pleased to hear that. No, it's going to be all right.
A
It's going to be fine. Fingers crossed. I just live a normal life, an exciting life.
B
Starting with our road down the hill.
A
Yes.
B
Thank you so much.
A
Thank you. It was really fun.
C
Sundays in the park? Lost in words upon a page? As clouds sail? The blue seas above me? So much I haven't done? All the strangers yet? To me? There's something on my mind? But I know? We are golden now? Last forever? So let's go rolling down this hell together? Tickets from a station for a train that's going nowhere? A life made up of memories and daydream day? You're in the bread aisle? And the next you're on a gurney? There's nothing you can do but let go? We are golden now? One last forever? So let's go rolling down? Let's hell together? We are golden now?
Podcast Title: Strangers on a Bench
Host: Tom Rosenthal
Episode: EPISODE 10: Shall We Roll Down the Hill?
Release Date: November 18, 2024
In Episode 10 of Strangers on a Bench, host Tom Rosenthal engages in a deeply personal and poignant conversation with a guest who initially appears to be an ordinary park bench-dweller. Over the course of their interaction, the discussion evolves from light-hearted topics to profound revelations about the guest's life, including a significant health diagnosis. This episode exemplifies the show's mission to foster openness and intimacy by maintaining anonymity, allowing participants to share candidly without revealing personal identities.
Favorite Day and Rituals
The conversation begins with Tom approaching the guest about his favorite day of the week. The guest, referred to as Speaker A, shares his fondness for Sunday mornings:
"Yeah, Sunday morning. Well, for me anyway, you got the day to relax and I always put on the same playlist I always put on the Velvet Underground. Have some tofu. It's always a good morning."
[00:52]
Tom humorously reflects on the guest's Sunday ritual, highlighting the comfort and predictability it brings:
"Velvet Underground tofu on its own, scrambled on toast. You know, you got that ritual for Sunday. Perfect. It sounds like you love it."
[01:02]
Reading Habits and Favorite Books
The discussion shifts to Speaker A's penchant for reading, particularly fantasy, as a form of escapism:
"Because it's always more interesting than my life, I suppose. Normally I read fantasy. So that's a form of escapism."
[01:49]
When asked about his favorite book, Speaker A admits unfamiliarity with Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil, leading to a brief exploration of philosophical literature:
"I've never heard. No. What's it about?"
[02:21]
The conversation touches on the allure of fantasy and magic, with Speaker A expressing a longing for excitement beyond his peaceful daily life:
"There's always something fun about magic."
[03:03]
University and Writing Goals
Speaker A shares his current engagement with university studies, specifically in writing, aiming to become an author:
"I'm studying writing. I want to be an author."
[04:07]
He reveals that he has completed a book, which is still undergoing edits:
"I've written a book, but I'm still editing it at the moment. It's taken ages. I finished it a year ago now and I'm still editing it."
[04:18]
Relationship with Parents
The conversation takes a warm turn as Speaker A discusses his relationship with his parents, emphasizing their support for his unconventional career choice:
"My dad, because he's very funny and he offers lots of advice. My mum, she's so kind."
[05:11]
He appreciates their unwavering support, noting:
"They both support the fact that I want to be a writer, which is not like a career path that's particularly riddled with opportunities."
[05:24]
Revelation of a Brain Tumor
The tone of the episode shifts dramatically when Speaker A discloses a deeply personal health issue:
"I have a brain tumor."
[17:51]
This revelation leads to an emotional discussion about his diagnosis and treatment:
"It was quite shocking when I found out. I was in Lidl doing a shop with my friends September 2022, and I've been getting, like, deja vu episodes..."
[17:31]
Speaker A explains the circumstances leading to his diagnosis, including epileptic fits and a prolonged deja vu episode that prompted medical evaluation:
"I had a deja vu episode that lasted like eight hours... we've got your results from your MRI and you've got growth on your brain."
[18:07]
Treatment and Coping Mechanisms
He details his treatment journey, including surgery and upcoming radiotherapy:
"In April of 2023 that they. I had some surgery. I was in hospital for like two and a half weeks. But it's still not all gone. So they want. This summer I'm getting six months of radiotherapy."
[18:05]
Speaker A discusses his coping strategies, emphasizing his desire to live a normal life and maintain his identity beyond his diagnosis:
"I just don't want to be treated any differently because of it."
[20:08]
He reflects on how this experience has heightened his appreciation for the outdoors and nature:
"I appreciate being outside a lot more... I really like being outside a lot more and like enjoying nature."
[21:29]
Ephemeral Nature of Life
The conversation delves into existential musings about fleeting moments and the impact of small interactions:
"What's the point crying over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears."
[09:53]
Tom encourages embracing opportunities and cherishing brief connections:
"Just don't leave these things behind."
[10:28]
The Importance of Conversation
Both speakers acknowledge the significance of their interaction, pondering whether their conversation would have occurred without the podcast format:
"Isn't it crazy to think that if you weren't recording this, this conversation would never have happened?"
[12:00]
This leads to reflections on the collective experiences that shape individual lives, emphasizing that every interaction contributes to personal growth:
"Everything is teaching you something."
[13:16]
EPISODE 10 of Strangers on a Bench masterfully balances light-hearted dialogue with profound personal revelations. Through the anonymous yet intimate conversation between Tom Rosenthal and Speaker A, listeners are invited to explore themes of routine, aspiration, familial support, and the sudden challenges life can present. The episode underscores the beauty of human connection and the resilience of the human spirit, all while maintaining the show's hallmark of anonymity and genuine interaction.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Speaker A on Sunday Mornings:
"Yeah, Sunday morning. Well, for me anyway, you got the day to relax and I always put on the same playlist I always put on the Velvet Underground. Have some tofu. It's always a good morning."
[00:52]
Speaker A on Writing Motivation:
"I feel like literature or poetry, at least. You've got to be changed by the words. If someone reads my writing and thinks about life in a different way, that would be really nice, if that makes sense."
[04:34]
Speaker A Revealing His Brain Tumor:
"I have a brain tumor."
[17:51]
Speaker A on Coping with Diagnosis:
"I just don't want to be treated any differently because of it."
[20:08]
Philosophical Insight by Host Tom Rosenthal:
"What's the point crying over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears."
[09:53]
This episode exemplifies the essence of Strangers on a Bench—creating a safe space for strangers to share their stories authentically. Tom Rosenthal's empathetic interviewing style allows for meaningful exchanges that resonate deeply with listeners, offering both solace and inspiration.