EPISODE 15: Family Business

Summary

Strangers on a Bench - Episode 15: Family Business

Release Date: December 23, 2024

In Episode 15 of Strangers on a Bench, host Tom Rosenthal delves deep into the personal journey of his guest, exploring themes of family, personal growth, and the enduring legacy of a family business. This engaging conversation offers listeners a heartfelt glimpse into the guest's life, marked by resilience, passion, and a profound connection to family traditions.

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1. Favorite and Least Favorite Days

The conversation begins with a light-hearted discussion about the guest's preferred days of the week.

• Favorite Day: Friday emerges as the guest's favorite, epitomizing the end of the workweek and the anticipation of a relaxing weekend.

  "The best day, it's gotta be a Friday. It's the end of the week and you know that you've got the whole weekend to sort of enjoy yourself."
  [01:04] Guest

• Least Favorite Day: Tuesday is cited as the most challenging day, laden with setbacks and a lingering lack of motivation from Monday.

  "Tuesdays are the worst day, but best day, it's gotta be a Friday."
  [01:02] Guest

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2. A Perfect Saturday

The guest vividly paints a picture of an ideal Saturday, blending personal time with cherished family and social interactions.

• Morning Routine: Waking up leisurely around 9 or 9:30 AM, enjoying a hearty breakfast with friends or parents.

  "I'd probably wake up around like 9, 9:30. Not too early, not too late."
  [01:44] Guest

• Daytime Activities: Engaging in outdoor activities such as park walks or theme park adventures, reflecting a longing for fun and excitement.

  "I've been craving to go to a theme park recently. That'd be a really fun day out."
  [01:55] Guest

• Evening Relaxation: Concluding the day with casual chats at the pub and takeaway, encapsulating a blend of relaxation and socialization.

  "Chat nonsense for hours over a few pints and then probably get a takeaway on the way home."
  [02:43] Guest

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3. Cherished Family Relationships

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the guest's deep-rooted connections with family members, particularly their parents and grandmother.

• Parents: The guest expresses a strong bond with their parents, highlighting the importance of familial interactions despite geographical distances.

  "We go out for lunch or, like, if we go to the pub together or something, we just end up having the most nonsense conversations."
  [03:03] Guest

• Grandmother: The relationship with the grandmother is portrayed as enriching and supportive, especially after the passing of the grandfather.

  "She has a warmth to her. So if I'm around her, I feel... it's enriching."
  [05:07] Guest

• Grandfather's Passing: The guest reflects on the profound impact of their grandfather's death, leading to personal introspection and a heightened appreciation for life.

  "It sort of shifted my music taste dramatically because he listened to an awful lot of Andre Ruins."
  [07:59] Guest

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4. The Family Bike Business

Central to the episode is the legacy of the family's bicycle shop, which has been a cornerstone for three generations.

• Legacy and Pride: The guest takes immense pride in the family's longstanding bike business, established in 1931, emphasizing its resilience and community presence.

  "I'm proud of my family for keeping it going. I'm especially proud of my mum for taking it on."
  [13:56] Guest

• Involvement and Skills: The guest shares hands-on experiences, such as building bike wheels using a spoke key—a cherished tool symbolizing the family's craftsmanship.

  "He taught me how to build bike wheels with that key as well. And that was his favorite tool."
  [11:18] Guest

• Future Aspirations: While the guest hasn't deeply contemplated taking over the business, there's a budding interest in contributing to its legacy without external pressure.

  "I think it'd be fun to try and run it. I think I'd really enjoy it."
  [14:46] Guest

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5. Personal Habits and Coping Mechanisms

The guest delves into personal behaviors developed as coping strategies, particularly during stressful periods like exam preparation.

• Exam Routine: A unique pre-exam ritual involves pacing while reciting study material, combined with wearing comfortable attire and listening to instrumental music.

  "The night before an exam, I have a very specific routine of, like, pacing around my room to help me revise."
  [21:38] Guest

• Self-Awareness: The guest acknowledges these habits as forms of "stimming," providing insight into managing anxiety and maintaining focus.

  "Maybe someone would question me and say, you're stimming. And I'm like, maybe I am stimming."
  [23:15] Guest

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6. Reflections on Life and the Future

Towards the episode's conclusion, the guest offers profound reflections on mortality, life choices, and personal fulfillment.

• Impact of Loss: The grandfather's passing intensified the guest's awareness of life's fragility, fostering a desire to live authentically and cherish meaningful moments.

  "It sort of made me value life a lot more. And I feel like now when I think about things that are stressing me out, I sort of have, like, the bigger picture come into my head."
  [07:59] Guest

• Career Concerns: Currently pursuing a master's in dementia studies, the guest grapples with uncertainties about long-term career satisfaction, influenced by societal perceptions of career rigidity.

  "I'm really enjoying what I'm studying at the minute. I'm studying dementia as a master's course. But there's always this thought... what if in 40 years to come, I realized I'm like, oh, maybe that isn't what I wanted to do."
  [16:41] Guest

• Personal Philosophy: Emphasizing the importance of embracing emotions and sharing happiness, the guest advocates for a balanced and fulfilling approach to life's challenges and joys.

  "As long as you know you're doing your best, you can't really go that far wrong."
  [30:20] Guest

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7. Light-Hearted Interlude: Handling Phone Addiction

In a playful segment, the guest and host brainstorm creative solutions to mitigate phone addiction, blending humor with practical suggestions.

• App Idea: A competition-based app where users log screen time, with the highest spender facing a friendly "punishment" like buying a round of drinks.

  "We've just solved it. But a lot of the time I think it's still a good idea."
  [19:46] Guest

This segment not only adds levity to the conversation but also underscores the guest's thoughtful approach to everyday issues.

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Conclusion

Episode 15 of Strangers on a Bench offers a rich tapestry of personal anecdotes, familial bonds, and introspective insights. Through authentic dialogue, the guest navigates the complexities of honoring family legacies while forging individual paths. Listeners are left with a resonant message: embrace your emotions, cherish your relationships, and pursue passions that align with your true self.

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Notable Quotes:

• "As long as you know you're doing your best, you can't really go that far wrong."
  [30:20] Guest

• "I'm an extroverted introvert because once you're out and doing things, or once I'm in that social situation, I'm absolutely fine."
  [25:35] Guest

• "It sort of made me value life a lot more. And I feel like now when I think about things that are stressing me out, I sort of have, like, the bigger picture come into my head."
  [07:59] Guest

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This episode stands as a testament to the enduring power of family, the importance of personal rituals, and the continuous journey of self-discovery. Through candid conversations, Strangers on a Bench bridges the gaps between strangers, revealing the universal threads that connect us all.

Transcript

[Host]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a. Are you ready for the first question?

[Guest]

So first, hit me, hit me.

[Host]

First question is really easy. What's your favorite day of the week? I told you. I told you.

[Guest]

What a question. I know. My worst day of the week was Tuesday. Everything goes wrong on a Tuesday.

[Host]

Why?

[Guest]

Like any bad luck I've ever had, I feel like always happens on a Tuesday. And it's also like the added you've lost that Monday motivation. It's not even halfway through the week yet. You can't even look forward to the weekend. So I'm always like, Tuesdays are the worst day, but best day, it's gotta be a Friday. It's the end of the week and you know that you've got the whole weekend to sort of enjoy yourself.

[Host]

Classic. Classic after a Friday. So let's fast forward then to a weekend day for you. Yeah, let's go Saturday. Okay, take me through from waking up to going to bed. What is your picture of, like a perfect Sunday? Sorry? Within reason. You're not suddenly in Bahamas or anything.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I'd probably wake up around like 9, 9:30. Not too early, not too late.

[Host]

Not burning the day.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah. I'd go out for breakfast somewhere, a fry up some like hot breakfast with a couple of friends or maybe even my parents. That'd be nice. Start the day nice and calm. Yeah. Then I'd probably meet up with my friends and we'd go out for the day. Like a walk around the park or we do something like fun, like a theme park. I've been craving to go to a theme park recently. I just feel like I haven't been to one for ages. That'd be a really fun day out. And then head to the pub and just like chat nonsense for hours. Chat nonsense for hours over a few pints and then probably get a takeaway on the way home. And I'd be honestly so happy.

[Host]

Very solid Saturday.

[Guest]

Yeah, very ideal.

[Host]

A couple of things in there stand out for me. One, you've included your parents. Yeah, I mean, not a lot of people would like instinctively go there.

[Guest]

I don't know. I really enjoy my parents company. I'm really close to them.

[Host]

No, that's right. No, that's not a bad thing. I wish it wasn't as rare so it's a good sign.

[Guest]

Yeah. Cause, I mean, they don't live in London like I do, and I feel like since I've moved away, I've valued speaking to them a lot more. The same with my grandma. When I'm talking to them, I enjoy that time a lot more because I know that I don't get to talk to them all the time. And, yeah, when we go out for lunch or, like, if we go to the pub together or something, we just end up having the most nonsense conversations. I just. I love it when you get to talk about things that are completely random or. Yeah. Because my dad is becoming a little bit hard of hearing, I think, just from his job, because he's an engineer.

[Host]

Are you good at shouting?

[Guest]

No, but I just give up. But he's, like, gone into a really bad habit of if he mishears you, he won't just straight up ask, oh, what did you say? Sorry, I didn't catch that. He'll attempt to relay it back to you and it would be completely wrong. And we always end up, like, laughing in fits about that because when we're out and we're in, like, a busy restaurant, it's like, prime time for it to happen. And we also know that he is actually going deaf because he can't hear crickets. Like, he's lost that frequency of sound completely. We'll be walking home at night from, like, a restaurant or something on, like, a holiday somewhere, and me and our family, friends or whoever we're with will, like, comment on all the crickets around us. And he'll be going, what are you on about? And I'll, like, try and, like, get him to, like, lean into a bush. And I'll go, can you hear? Can you not hear that? And he'll go, no, I can't hear a thing. And I'm like, it's everywhere.

[Host]

I love the visual of you trying to get your dad to lean into a bush.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah. It's quite interesting.

[Host]

Maybe this is his odd. Maybe he has the cricket hearing deficiency and that's just part of.

[Guest]

It's a really rare condition. It impacts maybe, like, one in every, like, 3 million people.

[Host]

That's the kind of condition I wish existed. Like, really chilled condition. I just can't hear crickets. You know, it impacts you in no way.

[Guest]

It has, like. Yeah. No detrimental impact your health at all. Honestly, he is getting so much attention.

[Host]

Would you rather talk about theme parks or your grandmother?

[Guest]

My grandma. She's great.

[Host]

Great.

[Guest]

Absolutely.

[Host]

What's the magic of your Grandma, for you.

[Guest]

I think we've grown an awful lot closer since my grandpa passed away. Because she doesn't have anyone other than my parents around at home. I always make sure I have an effort to go and see her and spend, like, a good few hours with her, whether that's doing jobs or just sitting and being. But I don't know. She has a really good sense of humor, and her and my grandpa used to travel a lot across Europe, road trips especially. And with that has come, like, a lot of wisdom, but also a lot of funny stories. And she has a warmth to her. So if I'm around her, I feel. I don't know, it's enriching. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And now I'm so chaotic when I'm in conversation with her now because I have so much to say and I haven't spoken to her for, like, a week. And she'll just be laughing at me the whole time. And I just like seeing a smile, hearing her laugh, because, yeah, I feel like she hasn't been the happiest since my grandpa passed. So, like, trying to make her smile. I'm really shivering. Sorry. Don't worry.

[Host]

That's the nature of kindness. Just keep moving around.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I just find it really enriching to be around her and listen to all of, like, her wisdom. And, like, if I'm nervous about something or I'm just completing a masters at uni at the minute, so if I'm ever nervous about exams or coursework, she'll always give me, like, a little pep talk. And her pep talks always make me feel better. She's one of the few people that can really calm me down.

[Host]

What kind of thing would she say to you?

[Guest]

It's not anything unique. She literally just goes, well, you know that all you can do is your best, and if you do your best, you'll be fine. For some reason, it's my grandma saying it that always grounds me. Yeah.

[Host]

So you. So you felt like you had, like, a change of role a bit after your grandfather died?

[Guest]

Yeah, I would say so. When he was ill, I felt like I was a lot more involved because I was having to help out with things because it wasn't very slow. It was quite sudden and quick. And my grandma was already, like, 82. And, like, trying to care for someone that was 90 was not. Yeah. So trying to help her changed, like, the dynamic in our relationship. And then, yeah, once he passed, like, my grandma's fine and she can cope on her own and things like that. But there's a definite added level of care going on.

[Host]

How did, like, the whole episode of your grandfather dying, how did that. Does that change anything in you?

[Guest]

Death? Everyone has, like, a different experience or a different relationship with it. Right. It's always been one of my biggest fears. And I was really close to my grandpa, as I am with my grandma now. And him passing away, it not only made me more nervous about death, but it also made me value life a lot more. And I feel like now when I think about things that are stressing me out, I sort of have, like, the bigger picture come into my head of like, well, life's for living and let's just value what you're doing and embrace it for what it is and not waste time. I don't know. And like. Yeah, because he was such an adventurous person, I feel like that sort of rubbed off on me a little bit, or I'd like to think it has. Or, like, since he's passed, we're obviously, like, sifting through loads of bits and bobs of his belongings, which is never really a fun time, but it was actually quite interesting to delve into bits of his life that I'd never really taken much notice of before. It's even, like, shifted my music taste dramatically because he listened to an awful lot of Andre Ruins. I don't know if you know who that is.

[Host]

Tell me about Andrew.

[Guest]

I don't. He's a conductor of an orchestra and he's a very talented violinist and he plays, like, massive concerts across Europe. And growing up, if I ever went round to my grandparents or spent the evening in front of the fire with him, he'd often have a DVD of his concerts playing. And I was always aware that it was Andre Rue.

[Host]

But you're never really listening, basically.

[Guest]

Yeah, I never really listened to it.

[Host]

It just was washing.

[Guest]

I was like, oh, my ds.

[Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest]

But, yeah, and now since he's passed, I've taken a lot more enjoyment out of it and now I listen to it on, like, a regular basis. Or like, I had it playing when you approached me.

[Host]

Amazing.

[Guest]

Yeah. Small things like that.

[Host]

Yeah. What did you. You say you went through, like, his belongings and stuff? Any kind of little thing from that that you want?

[Guest]

I'm not too sure. He didn't have, like, an awful lot of stuff that was of any, like, sentimental value as such. The one thing that I did keep, which my mum actually offered to me maybe two or three days after he passed, was what's called a spoke key.

[Host]

Okay. What's A spoke key.

[Guest]

So, you know, on a bicycle, all the spindles on the wheel, they're called spokes, of course. And to tighten them up, to attach them to the wheel, you use a spoke key. It's a little tool. And I always used to call it the mouse because it looks a bit like a mouse head with two ears.

[Host]

Okay, now that's making sense. Yeah.

[Guest]

He ran our family's bike shop for 75 years.

[Host]

Whoa.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

That's a serious amount of bike shop.

[Guest]

Yeah. His dad started the business, my grandpa ran it when he became ill. And then now my mum.

[Host]

Amazing.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Oh, wonderful.

[Guest]

So we're a family of cyclists. Also adds to my grandparents adventurous nature because they take their bikes on like, tours across Europe.

[Host]

Fantastic. So this is a natural thing to.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah. Because he taught me how to build bike wheels with that key as well. And that was his favorite tool. That was the one that he'd been using for years. And it's still covered in like grease and oil and stuff, but I have it.

[Host]

Where do you keep it?

[Guest]

Sometimes I carry in my purse. I had it tied to my dress for graduation last year after I graduated uni. Yeah. Otherwise it sits in my jewelry box.

[Host]

Imagine an alien has landed. Oh, God, they're talking to you. That's the first thing they're going to do.

[Guest]

I'm the tour guide. Oh, that's terrible.

[Host]

What is that thing with two wheels going past? And you're like, it's a bicycle. And they go, oh, well, why are people doing that? Like, what's the magic of that? What would you say, as someone that's had bicycles in their family for a thousand years.

[Guest]

It gives you an opportunity for adventure. If you're on a bike, it's so lovely. You can just cycle through lanes all day long. You can go and look at all the animals. You can use it to venture across different cultures and different countries. That's what my grandparents used to love doing. It's even a great opportunity if you want to socialize with people because you can go out on rides with people and then there's always like this innate clinging to each other. You don't have to push yourself. You can always go easy. And you can end up in like a nice conversation with the most random people. Because we've always been on social rides with larger groups. I've ended up talking to people that I would never have spoken to before because it draws people in from completely different sides of the world or completely different backgrounds, which is really nice. But I think I like it because it's another thing that I find really calming and just being able to sort of look around, take in the views and views that in a car you don't really get to see. In a car you're not hearing the countryside, you're not hearing the wind blowing past you, you're not hearing all the animals on all the farms or tractors going past. I think I just really enjoy that.

[Host]

I think the alien would be convinced.

[Guest]

Do you think?

[Host]

Are you convinced the alien would be straight on their bike with their stabilizers.

[Guest]

And everything, Flag on the back, Ivan's.

[Host]

Jacket on off their various planets. So your family have had a bicycle business for many years?

[Guest]

Yeah, it established 1931, is it?

[Host]

You know, it's like almost like a kind of monarchy.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Like you kind of feel like it's coming, you know?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Like I will be queen one day.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

But like how does that feel to have a family business, like be part of that?

[Guest]

I am really proud of it. I'm proud of my family for keeping it going. I'm especially proud of my mum for taking it on because she obviously had an idea of what was going on. But I think when she quit her full time job and went to do that full time, she realized how difficult it was. She's obviously now been doing it for a little while and she's a lot more comfortable in the role. And yeah, it's really nice to see the business sort of like thriving still. Because my grandpa was one of those people that in our hometown everyone knew who he was. You mentioned the shop and everyone goes, oh, you're that one. And it's nice that since he's passed or since my mum's taken it on, that is still there. And it's really nice. I don't know. And then.

[Host]

And so you think like, is it.

[Guest]

Going to be mine? To be fair, I haven't really thought about it deeply. I think it'd be fun to try and run it. I think I'd really enjoy it. I enjoy learning about the process of how bikes are built. I think increasingly so. But my parents have already made it very clear that they're like, they're not putting any pressure on. You have to keep it going. I can't put the two.

[Host]

I don't even know if there is one question. You gotta choose on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being light, 10 being heavier. Shoot. Pick a number and then I'll give you a question from the question brain.

[Guest]

Go for a seven. Why not?

[Host]

Oh, okay. Solid seven.

[Guest]

Yeah. Either a seven Or a two. Like, like, I feel like in the middle is boring. You've got to sort of go one way or the other.

[Host]

Yeah, so true. Okay, seven. Can you pinpoint a defining moment in your existence thus far? Is that more of an eight?

[Guest]

God, is that more of an eight? Yeah, probably. Probably. Okay.

[Host]

I like the fact that that just came to me.

[Guest]

Oh my God, what a question.

[Host]

If you want a few more, send.

[Guest]

Me into an existential crisis.

[Host]

That's more or less a good time to do it.

[Guest]

To be honest. I don't really know. That's such a big. Oh my gosh. Do you know what I'd probably say the biggest one that sort of made me step back and sort of consider who I want to be would probably be after my grandpa passed, because that was the biggest point where I sort of reflected on what my life is or has been so far, where I sort of had a bit of an existential crisis for myself and was a bit like, oh my gosh, like, what do I do? And like that feeling of being lost because I'd lost someone so close to me. And it's still something that I think about on like a regular basis.

[Host]

What do you wrestle with when you think about the future?

[Guest]

I think there's a thought running through the back of my mind of like, I don't want to get to the age of like 80 or 90 and think that I've wasted time doing something I don't enjoy. Like, I'm really enjoying what I'm studying at the minute. I'm studying dementia as a master's course. But there's always this thought in the back of my mind of like, what if in 40 years to come, 40 or 50 years, I realized I'm like, oh, maybe that isn't what I wanted to do. I think that probably comes from the way that we're taught in school, that going to university, getting the degree from that university will result in you doing like one job for the rest of your life. Like, you're led to believe that you have one career path and that will never change, it will never deviate. And if you don't enjoy it then, then you're screwed in 40 years time sort of thing. But then, then I sort of have to like kick myself a little bit and go, hold on a minute. Because you enjoy what you're doing. So it is worthwhile. Even if you're only going to enjoy it for the next 10 or 20 years, that's still 20 years of doing something you enjoy. Yeah.

[Host]

Tell me about dementia.

[Guest]

Really?

[Host]

That's the first time I'm asked this on a bench. Tell me about dementia. No, let's ask something more specific. What do you want to do in the dementia world? Like, what do you want to impact?

[Guest]

I want to try and contribute to the research for a treatment and try and find something that works better, that is more effective, that doesn't come with the high risk for side effects.

[Host]

But do you think about, like, what is good for your brain? I think you think about your brain and when you think about it, what do you do?

[Guest]

You're like, how do I stop it? How do I help myself?

[Host]

You know, you know how a brain works and you think like, oh, is that what's good? What can I get? What can I do for it today that's good for.

[Guest]

It's just the whole idea of, like, keeping myself mentally stimulated, but also trying not to have that be tied to technology.

[Host]

Yeah, sure.

[Guest]

Just because I know that I'm addicted to my phone, as everyone is, I'd like to think less so than a lot of my friends and I think our screen times will reflect that.

[Host]

You should line it up. He's the man.

[Guest]

I could grass them up.

[Host]

Let's do it. Come on. Phone on the table, who's the winner?

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

Actually, maybe that's actually not a bad idea.

[Guest]

Yeah. Because people do that, don't they, where they do, like, a pub crawl finds on the table. First one to touch it has to buy, like, the next round or something.

[Host]

But also that competitive element might actually get people to use it there. There's like a punishment if we've got that.

[Guest]

Yeah. Oh, my God. That'd actually be brilliant if you had like a. Like a weekly log of everyone's screen time. And if whoever's got the highest average for that week has to then, like, buy dinner or buy the first round when they get me up for the pub.

[Host]

Actually, quite a good. This could be an app.

[Guest]

We could do this.

[Host]

Although it's an app which is then on the phone. Yeah, but like. But it would.

[Guest]

We've spoiled our own. But a lot of the time I.

[Host]

Think it's still a good idea.

[Guest]

Yeah, We've just solved it.

[Host]

Solved it. We've solved all phone addiction, do you think? One last serious question about dementia stuff.

[Guest]

No, that's fair.

[Host]

So our brains are all now pretty weird in relation to. Sorry, let's start again. Let's start the question again.

[Guest]

Sorry.

[Host]

Our brains surely have been, like, fundamentally rewired, but by our phone use. What do you think the impact might Be on kind of possible dementia. Things of brain. Things related to, like, phones. You see what I mean? Is that a crazy question?

[Guest]

That is a kind of crazy question, but I guess, like, the whole idea of the habits we create through using phones, procedural memory, just knowing what buttons to press or what to do. Because I have wondered that in centuries to come, when technology is so ingrained into our lives, even more so than it is now, because it's inevitable that it's only gonna get ever more intertwined with society. Whether, like, it will become almost like a. An innate instinct of how to use things. I don't know, like a sheep or a cow or something is born and it knows how to walk. Like, we'll just grow up knowing instinctively how to use Instagram. No joking. No, not quite like that.

[Host]

The carousel. Is this gonna be Instant carousel?

[Guest]

Yeah, but, like, is it just another stage in our evolution? Will we eventually be born as droids? You never know.

[Host]

Halfway up the David Blaze, it says, whatever.

[Guest]

Whatever.

[Host]

Okay, a few more questions.

[Guest]

Hit me.

[Host]

What is something you do that you think only you do?

[Guest]

The first thing that's popped into my head, I actually sent a video to my friends of me doing it to try and, like, ask if I was being insane. And I think they all just sort of were a bit dumbfounded and they didn't really have many words.

[Host]

What is this cob?

[Guest]

It's just a habit I've had ever since I, like, first started doing exams for school. The night before an exam, I have a very specific routine of, like, pacing around my room to help me revise. This is so stupid.

[Host]

No. No, it's not. Everyone's got something.

[Guest]

It's essentially just, like, a coping mechanism to try and help me chill out. And I have to have my scruffiest clothes on. What I call my loungers. Your, like, dirtiest pair of joggers. Hoodie, fluffy jumper, whatever. As it was that night, I have my headphones on playing, like, classical music because I can't listen to music that has words in it. Otherwise, I want to sing along.

[Host]

Yeah, completely.

[Guest]

I'm, like, trying to go over things in my head. So I'm reading over it, then I'm reciting it to myself. Reading over stuff, reciting it to myself. But I have to be, like, swinging my arms around, like, up and down like that. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think of, like, a full arm swing.

[Host]

They're back and forth.

[Guest]

Yeah. Don't ask me why.

[Host]

How high.

[Guest]

Like, I do. I do have to stand off. And I literally see if you can.

[Host]

Stand up, take your microphone.

[Guest]

I will literally be doing this, and I'll be pacing around the room like a.

[Host]

Kind of like a kid miming. Being on a train or something. Is that what you do? Choo choo.

[Guest]

Like, I guess just like. Like, my arms aren't tense. They're just swinging. And I have to be pacing in a circle across my room. I feel like I'm exposing myself so much right now. It's almost like a.

[Host]

Like, because we all have these things.

[Guest]

Yeah. It's like, maybe someone would question me and say, you're stimming. And I'm like, maybe I am stimming. Maybe there's something going on in the old brain. But, yeah, for some reason, I have to do it every time. It's really.

[Host]

By the way, how long was this video you sent your friends? How long?

[Guest]

Oh, it was only, like. It was only like a minute long.

[Host]

Do you think when they saw this video, like, wow, like, who is this?

[Guest]

I think they heard me say, are you a freak? And they probably went, she didn't need to ask that for me to say, yes.

[Host]

What is it? Or did that person start doing a really ambitious picnic?

[Guest]

Yeah, I. I was just. When I was talking, I was looking at them set that up, and I was like, I wonder what they're doing.

[Host]

There's, like, a table for. But there's a big old rug.

[Guest]

Maybe a cake sale. No, it is a picnic. Oh, I can see a picnic basket. I don't know if you can see.

[Host]

It, but she's alone. Oh, look, a man's come.

[Guest]

I think that is a table.

[Host]

The man's come. Where's he been?

[Guest]

I thought he was on that bit over there.

[Host]

Why is he so far away? Are they doing, like, a running race or something?

[Guest]

Oh, he's moving. They're moving. I wonder if they're gonna go too windy for them.

[Host]

They're going further in.

[Guest]

I think they're going to where he's put all of that stuff down over there. Because that looks like a water tank. Oh, unless it's a cool box. Yeah, maybe it's a cool box. Oops.

[Host]

I wonder how listenable, like, 20 minutes of really bad commentary on people's pin. It could be.

[Guest]

Yeah. Guys, we're currently moving over to the cool box right now. Never before seen a lady carrying the frame of the table.

[Host]

He's still quite a long way away from his cool box.

[Guest]

And they've left the blanket, which is dangerous considering how windy it is.

[Host]

She's off to get the blanket now.

[Guest]

There we go.

[Host]

She's running, though, so maybe she knows this.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Okay. Right, we'll come back to these guys in a second.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host]

We're on the clothes.

[Guest]

We're back. We're back.

[Host]

Right. What about you? Would surprise people if they knew it. What do you think? Not a lot of people know about you.

[Guest]

Possibly that I'm actually quite a shy person. I mean, particularly with people I don't know, which is probably why I'm chatty now. I tend to put on quite a confident front, or I believe I do in the. I'm very open to talking, to talkening, to talking to new people.

[Host]

Talkening, that's quite nice word.

[Guest]

It's like a reckoning, but through conversation, I think, basically because I have quite a lot of anxiety, but I feel like in a public place, I try and hide that and I try and prove that I can be very social and very outgoing, even though innately I don't think I am. I probably call myself an extroverted introvert because once you get me out and doing things, or once I'm in that social situation, I'm absolutely fine. The anticipation of it, I get really nervous. And I was always terribly shy growing up. My parents put me into speech and drama lessons for the purpose of trying to encourage me to be more confident talking. The thing is that I actually. I enjoyed it for quite a while, and then I just got bored of it because the people that I was surrounded by were people that were very intent in going into theater and acting, which does sound really fun. I'm not going to lie. Like, now I'm kind of like, oh, why did I quit? But I quit because I was like, well, that's not what I want to go into as a career. Or like, I'm just. I'm just a kid sort of thing. The bell, very dramatic.

[Host]

You probably say that, like, the people that are having the picnic have been joined by someone, an older guy who rang the bell. As he approached them, just.

[Guest]

Yeah. For anyone listening, they've just rang a bell really intently as they've cycled across.

[Host]

The field probably about 25 times.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really caught our attention.

[Host]

But they're walking off now again.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

What are they doing now?

[Guest]

In an interesting update, the group have separated. We'll never know.

[Host]

We'll never know. We'll never figure out. So you feel like. Do you feel like you've kind of conquered a bit of your shyness from when you were young? Do you feel like you overcome.

[Guest]

Yeah, I. I think I've overcome a lot of it. But in the background, there's always me sort of panicking in my head of like, oh, my God, what am I doing here? I don't know what. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to act. I don't know how to stand or then it's like if you start thinking too much and you realize that you're making eye contact with someone, you're like, oh, my God, where do I look? What do I do? I've forgotten how to breathe. What? What's going on?

[Host]

Can you forget about the picnic for a minute?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Like, can you describe what you can see in front of you and how that makes you feel?

[Guest]

What I can see in front of me is a really nice open piece of grass in the middle of a very crowded city. A lot of leaves blowing in the wind. A lovely old fashioned lamppost right in front of us. Loving that. Maybe in the far distance a couple of cranes. What I can see is actually like really calming. I just see people going about their day with not really a care in the world of how they're perceived as I wish to be. I could see a really happy dog waving its tail. That's beautiful. I can just see like an environment that brings you a little moment of calm and I think that's beautiful. Hence why you found me on this bench.

[Host]

Another very good answer.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Right. Further question. What are you going to do next?

[Guest]

Well, I'm probably gonna head home after this because I need to apply to a few jobs. So this afternoon will be spent applying to jobs while also watching Clarkson's Farm. Because I started watching it about three days ago and I'm really enjoying it as like my downtime. What am I going to do next in the grand scheme of things? Just embrace life, enjoy it a little bit more. Do you know what I mean? I feel like my mundane answer was actually a lot better.

[Host]

So I quite like how direct your.

[Guest]

Yeah. Because I'm like, I want to be able to go through life and thoroughly enjoy everything I'm doing. Every big moment, I want to be able to take it in. And as much as it might stress you out, you might cry at times, you might get emotional in good ways and bad ways. Sit with it. Don't push it away. Because as everyone always rambles on about, but is absolutely true, you need to not shy away from your emotions. Yeah. If anything is troubling you, you need to talk to people. But equally, if you're having a good time, don't be afraid to tell people about it. Do you know what I mean? Because your happiness can rub off onto others. So take everything as it comes. And as my grandma said, as long as you know you're doing your best, you can't really go that far wrong.

[Poet]

75 years in the saddle he knew a thing or 3 a record LSD the COG and spindle still they spin an old wheel out A new heel in My mother's mother speaks of him Alive long love oh, to feel alive Long love I'm waking hurt do not forget to not grow old and feel regret oh, to feel like Long love.