EPISODE 18: Snowy Arrivals and Father Figures

Summary

EPISODE 18: Snowy Arrivals and Father Figures – Detailed Summary

In Episode 18 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal delves deep into a candid and heartfelt conversation with an anonymous guest (referred to as B) about personal identity, the challenges of relocation, overcoming shyness, and complex family dynamics. This episode, titled "Snowy Arrivals and Father Figures," released on January 13, 2025, offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the guest's life experiences and emotional journey.

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1. Introduction and Unique Beginnings

The episode opens with Tom approaching a stranger on a park bench, introducing his unique podcast concept. At [00:04], Tom asks the guest an unconventional question about his favorite day of the week, setting the tone for an open and genuine dialogue.

• Tom Rosenthal (A): "Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench..." [00:04]
• Guest (B): "The day I was born. So Thursday." [00:48]

2. Significance of Thursdays

The guest reveals a personal superstition connecting Thursdays with positivity. He explains that Thursdays have been his "Fridays," associating them with enjoyable experiences from his school days.

• B: "It's kind of a superstitious thing with me... I could deal with Thursdays being like, my Fridays." [00:58]

3. Relocating to Swindon: Challenges and Adjustments

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the guest's relocation to Swindon, UK. At [02:42], he candidly describes his initial impressions of Swindon as unfavorable.

• B: "Being truly honest... it's a dump. Where I landed was not the best spot." [02:42]

He shares the difficulties of integrating into a new school system, starting late in Year 10, and adapting to different accents and colloquial language.

• B: "I had to catch on to the accents and catch on to the words. Because in Portugal, we learn mostly American English." [03:58]

Despite these challenges, the guest found a sense of community and belonging in his school, which played a crucial role in his adaptation process.

• B: "I really felt really welcome at my school." [04:05]

4. Navigating Shyness and Personal Growth

The guest opens up about his inherent shyness and how it has shaped his interactions. He discusses the fine balance between knowing when to speak and when to remain silent.

• B: "I do know when to speak and when not to speak." [04:56]

Exploring the roots of his shyness, he attributes it to a childhood marked by limited social interactions, primarily with family members and a few schoolmates.

• B: "My shyness is mainly due to most of my childhood... I was a lonely kid in a sense." [05:01]

University life served as a turning point, helping him become more social and comfortable in engaging with others.

• B: "Uni really opened up to me... made me more social, get more comfortable." [05:58]

5. Reflections on Past Relationships and Courage

Tom shifts the conversation to personal relationships, prompting the guest to reflect on moments where he wished he had been more courageous.

• Tom: "Imagine someone listening to this and they're struggling with their shyness. What would you say to them?" [06:35]
• B: "I feel like they should use that time to own their skills, own what makes them happy... baby steps." [06:43]

The guest recounts a poignant story of a missed romantic opportunity during his school years, highlighting the lingering impact of not taking that chance.

• B: "There was a girl I had a big crush on... I could have approached her." [08:54]

He reflects on how this experience has informed his approach to relationships and personal interactions since then.

6. Complex Family Dynamics and Father Figures

A substantial segment of the episode delves into the guest's familial relationships, particularly with his father. At [16:36], he begins to unravel the complexities of his father's presence and eventual absence.

• B: "After my brothers were born, radio silent... complete radio silent." [17:08]

He shares conflicting narratives about his father, juxtaposing his mother's portrayal with accounts from his uncles and other family members.

• B: "My uncles say he was the nicest boss... it's a polar opposite from what my mom tells me." [23:59]

This duality leaves him grappling with mixed emotions, torn between honoring positive memories and confronting past grievances.

7. Support Systems: Stepfather and Uncles

In the absence of his biological father, the guest acknowledges the pivotal role played by his stepfather and uncles. They provided stability, guidance, and support, helping him navigate the tumultuous period following his father's departure.

• B: "My ex-stepdad stepped in when needed... my uncles always helped take me to school." [25:00]

He expresses deep gratitude for their unwavering presence and the lessons they imparted, emphasizing the importance of respectful and supportive relationships.

8. Embracing the Present and Planning for the Future

Towards the end of the conversation, the guest shifts focus to his current aspirations and future plans. He expresses a strong desire to return to Swindon, believing that its community-centric environment will bolster his musical career.

• B: "I'm about to secure something big... hoping my life will move even further." [12:47]
• B: "I want to come back here so bad because musically it will help me go further." [13:10]

He reminisces about positive memories in Swindon, such as his first DJ gig and the experience of witnessing his first snowfall, which left a lasting impression.

• B: "My first ever gig... it made me realize I do have a future in it." [14:25]
• B: "Cuz it was snowing... felt like a Christmas movie." [14:58]

9. Personal Reflections and Internal Dialogue

In a reflective segment, the guest engages in self-dialogue, pondering his tendencies to isolate and seeking peace of mind amidst life's chaos.

• B: "Why do you really isolate yourself a lot sometimes?... I need some peace of mind and some space for myself." [26:52]

He connects this need for solitude to his musical creativity, highlighting how personal space allows him to produce meaningful work.

10. Concluding Thoughts and Final Questions

As the episode draws to a close, Tom poses thought-provoking questions to encourage the guest's introspection.

• Tom: "What are you going to do next?" [28:58]
• B: "I'm going to have a spliff and my friends chat shit, have some food, and catch a train to Little Sweden." [28:58]

The conversation ends on a contemplative note, with the guest sharing lyrics that encapsulate his emotional journey and ongoing quest for love and acceptance.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• B: "The day I was born. So Thursday." [00:48]
• B: "Being truly honest... it's a dump. Where I landed was not the best spot." [02:42]
• B: "I do know when to speak and when not to speak." [04:56]
• B: "There was a girl I had a big crush on... I could have approached her." [08:54]
• B: "Though I'm shy and reserved, I'm not judgmental. I am very friendly." [07:39]
• B: "My uncles say he was the nicest boss... it's a polar opposite from what my mom tells me." [23:59]
• B: "I'm going to have a spliff and my friends chat shit, have some food, and catch a train to Little Sweden." [28:58]

Insights and Conclusions

This episode of "Strangers on a Bench" masterfully navigates the intricate layers of the guest's life, offering listeners a profound understanding of his struggles and triumphs. Through candid discussions about shyness, missed opportunities, and complex family relationships, the guest conveys a message of resilience and the importance of supportive relationships. His reflections underscore the significance of personal growth and the ongoing journey to reconcile past experiences with present aspirations.

Tom Rosenthal's empathetic and thoughtful interviewing style enables the guest to open up about deeply personal topics, making the conversation both engaging and relatable. Listeners are left with a poignant reminder of the universal challenges of adapting to new environments, the impact of familial relationships, and the continuous pursuit of personal and professional fulfillment.

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By weaving together personal anecdotes, emotional reflections, and insightful advice, this episode stands out as a compelling narrative on human connection and self-discovery.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a. What is your favorite day of the week?

[B]

The day I was born. So Thursday.

[A]

Nice to go. I like that. So. And that's the day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does that mean you tend to have a better day on the day you were born?

[B]

Normally. Normally. It's kind of a superstitious thing with me. Since I was young, I've always had more fun on Thursdays in school. P was on Thursdays. So I was like, yeah, I like this. I could deal with Thursdays being like, my Fridays.

[A]

Do you know what time of the day you were born as well?

[B]

I think I was born afternoon, reaching nighttime. But I'm not too sure because my mum keeps changing answers, like, every other day.

[A]

What's she trying to hide?

[B]

I did ask once if they didn't swap me at the hospital, what did.

[A]

She say to that?

[B]

She was like, well, if they did, I'm sure he's well and safe somewhere and you're safe here with us.

[A]

Bit late now. We just rock on.

[B]

Literally. Literally.

[A]

What has your mum done?

[B]

Well, I think her braveness and, like, she thrives for finding new things out. And for her, she's always wanted to discover the world. And when she had me, then she had my little brothers, and then she managed to bring my sister to Portugal because she was born in a whole different country in Africa. So after the whole family was complete, in a sense, she was like, you know what? Discovered together, and she decided, why not the UK and 2015. I landed. Yeah.

[A]

And how old were you then?

[B]

I was 15. Fresh 15.

[A]

And so, like, what was your. Like, what was that like? What was your first impression? I mean, like, suddenly you're just like, you're rocking up and what's the feeling?

[B]

Being truly honest, you know, it's a dump. Where I landed was not the best spot. I landed all the way in. You know, I'm not going to say it. No one knows my name. Swindon. I landed all the way in Swindon. Oh, man.

[A]

Yeah. Fair. I've been to Swindon a couple times.

[B]

Obviously.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's a. It's not. Yeah. Not for the youth.

[B]

Not for the youth at all. And I landed in Stansted. I thought, okay, is this my limit? Am I going to stop here? We went central London. Okay, cool. Is this my limit? Am I going to stop here. But the coach kept going. So I was like, well, wherever you take me, I hope it's a nice spot. And it was a trip. It was a trip. It was a serious trip because I had to wait a whole month to start school. And then I started in year 10 already. So I tried my best to, like, keep up with everyone whilst trying to catch on to the accents and catch on to the. To the words. Because in Portugal, I did learn how to speak English at a young age. In Portugal, what we learn is mostly, like, American English. Anyways, so first day, I was already asking to go to the bathroom instead of the toilet and the loo and stuff. And they were like, are you gonna take a shower at school? Ha ha. These small little things.

[A]

When you look back to that time. Yeah, like, who do you feel like welcomed you the most?

[B]

I think school. School. School. Was it because though I also am a person that likes to go outside and discover things by myself, school, I actually had a chance to talk to people because I am still quite shy and reserved. But in school, all my friends were pretty. Pretty nice. They all were pretty welcoming. They asked me where I was from. It allowed me to still remember the things I love fondly, but also experience other people's views of it. And yeah, I really felt really welcome at my school, though my brothers were not that lucky. But, yeah, my time in that school was pretty good.

[A]

You said you feel like you're shy. What does that mean? Do you wish you were something else or are you happy with it? What's good about it?

[B]

You know, the good thing is, like, I do know when to speak and when not to speak.

[A]

Yeah, that's good. That's a good.

[B]

Like, I do know when not many people have that and read people's intentions. And I feel. I feel like my shyness is mainly due to most of my childhood. I was like a lonely kid in a sense. It was just me, my mum, and that's it. So my only interaction with other kids was with my cousins or with some people in my school. But even them, you know, being black, it was okay. Yeah, they like me, but, you know, it's not the same. It's not the same. And that obviously in turn contributed for me to being that shy a little bit. Wasn't always the smartest in the class as well, so didn't really like answering questions the teachers asked. And, like, uni really opened up to me for sure. Like, uni did make me a bit more social, get more comfortable.

[A]

Where do you feel like not To. That's a bit of a brute question. But at any point you feel like you can think back to your life and go, I wish I wasn't like that.

[B]

Yeah, there was a lot of points, like with school, it turned into me not playing football with the kids when I kind of wanted to. Me not asking for the ice cream when the teachers were offering and stuff. And I was like, I'll just stay in my corner. And I feel like I should have maybe opened up a little bit. But it takes time, and you can't really rush. It has to come to you naturally.

[A]

What would you say? Imagine someone listening to this and they're, I don't know, 18 and, like, struggling with their shyness. What would you say to them?

[B]

I feel like they should use that time to kind of own their skills, own what makes them happy. You know, the things that you can do well, since you're not too much in contact with people, look to do something that you like. And in that, you could always find a way to still communicate with people, because though we are unique, there's always someone else in the world that likes the same things as you. So it's an easier way to start there with something in common. And then baby steps, really. Baby steps, and you'll get there.

[A]

What do you think people kind of don't know about you? Like, or what would you like them to know about you?

[B]

Maybe, I guess I wish people understood that. Though I'm shy and reserved, I'm not judgmental. I am very friendly, you know, though I might not show it straight away, I might not be the person to say hi first. But if you say hi to me, I'll definitely say hi back.

[A]

Like, now.

[B]

Literally, literally, literally very random moment. That's the point. Literally, like, I'm that open to say hi now. And, yeah, I feel like I'm always up to get to know people, because experiences get to learn, you get to see, and it's much better. For example, I'm in the music industry in a sense, like, I'm a producer. So me getting to know new people is just a way to kind of also improve my skills, because my ears are not your ears. So what you hear could be different than mine. So that little input that you could give me, it could literally like, oh, no, I could just, boom, explode just because of that one little input like that.

[A]

Can you think of a time where you, like, you wish you were more courageous? Like, a moment?

[B]

I'd say it does go back a little bit to relationships. There was a fair Few moments where I could have approached the girl that I liked. There was this girl one time in school that I really had a big crush on her, you know, and not a lot of people knew. I tried my best to make it known, but I did tell a couple friends of mine, and they were like, okay, cool, bro. Go talk to her. And I always be like, yeah, yeah, we are, we are, we are. It never went. And then, yeah, like, I feel like never too late. That's the thing.

[A]

You know where she is now?

[B]

It was a bit. It was a bit too late.

[A]

Now she has five kids or something.

[B]

Nah, nah. But she's about to have one, though.

[A]

Oh, she's about to have one?

[B]

Yeah, she's about to have one. So kind of just kind of lost it because she did later on fess up to me that she also can handle it. Oh, no.

[A]

Is that good or bad, though?

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's kind of good.

[B]

It's good and bad in the sense.

[A]

That it makes it feel worse, in a way.

[B]

But also, my feelings weren't, like, I wasn't alone in this, you know?

[A]

But I also think, like, when we miss chances like that, like, when the time comes again, you're way less likely to make the same. Yeah.

[B]

The same mistakes. Yeah.

[A]

So it always informs. Yeah, right. I mean, that's at least something good about it.

[B]

It is, it is. It's a big experience because obviously I lost that, but then ended up meeting one of the most amazing girls ever at university, though we're not dating anymore. Is that reason she was a good three years ago. I went past the grief stages, in a sense. Now I'm on the fondness, you know, fond of that time. You know, there was a lovely time. Like, I've got to see where my mistakes were and what were they.

[A]

You feel comfortable saying what you think mistakes were.

[B]

I think my biggest mistake was definitely not doubling down, in a sense, not going the extra, extra mile, in a sense. I never had the biggest of funds, but I always made time and made sure I had something to, you know, make her happy, make us happy, in a sense. But it wasn't just about the money, I guess. And in my head, though, I knew it wasn't just about the money. I kind of didn't show that it wasn't just about the money, in a sense. For example, on her birthday, I took her to the shards, and it was a lovely, lovely day. But in that same day, I forgot.

[A]

To buy the flowers. So you took it to the Shard, though.

[B]

That's the Thing in my head.

[A]

In your head.

[B]

That made so much sense. But she did make me see that obviously that wasn't the reason we broke up, but it was, you know, tiny little pieces that at the end, in the bigger picture, it just fits and. Yeah.

[A]

How did you. When you did break up, how did you respond? Like, what did you find yourself doing? Where did that take you?

[B]

It took me to the darkest parts of Swindon, honestly. Not really. Just went to a nightclub and, you know, tried to get my head out of it one go to whatever. But I guess I felt, in a sense, free. But I wasn't free because later on I had to deal with whatever was still in my head and was still in my chest. And that took a while because there was attempts to get back together from both parties, mine and hers. But when it came to her part, I kind of failed. And after I failed, then I realized, okay, yeah, I have to just let go and. Yeah.

[A]

So where are you at now?

[B]

Right now I am. I have a happy moment, you know, just. Just before transition. I feel like I'm about to secure something big. And hopefully once that's secured, my life will be able to move even further than.

[A]

So when you say secure something big, what do you mean by that?

[B]

I guess moved to this big ass city because I was living here before at university in my accommodation, I was up in Tottenham. But now I'm back in Swindon and I want to come back here so bad because musically it will help me go further because there's just so much.

[A]

Obviously more stuff happening in Swindon. Is it simple as that?

[B]

Simple.

[A]

Let's try and. Let's try and say a few nice things about swindon. What are your top three favourite things about Swindon?

[B]

Top three things about Swindon. There's no one in front of you to make your day slow.

[A]

No one could slow you down in Swindon.

[B]

Yeah, the sidewalks tend to be quite nice and open. Free feet.

[A]

No one's blocking you off with swinds.

[B]

It's the charms of the little town. You know, there's a park in almost every corner.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

And the sense of community. Yeah, like, though I'm not the biggest fan of Swindon, the place, the community there is still. Still quite strong. You know, I guess if I leave, that's one of the main things I've missed. That's cool.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's what London struggles with a lot, you know, Community. Can you think of a favourite Swindon memory?

[B]

Favourites in the memory? There's quite a few. I just don't like to talk to Them. But the one I'll definitely say is my first ever gig. I ventured a little bit into the DJ world and had a little gig in there. And I can't lie, I thought I could have DJed, but I learned I still got a fair bit to go.

[A]

This is a good.

[B]

It's a good memory though, because I had fun and the people liked it.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[B]

But there was moments where I was like, oh my gosh, did I just turn off the music Maxim. But I had such a nice, nice time and it made me happy. Made me realize I do have a future in it. Just a matter of practice. And again, owning my skill and those times where I was silent and shy, you know, allowed me to read the room and know, okay, this is what these guys like. These guys like music a little bit more faster tempo. So let me find the in between. And I did. And yeah, all my friends like congratulating me and stuff. And yeah, it was one of the best memories I have in Swindon, apart from swimming is maybe the day that I moved in because I'd never seen snow before and came to the uk, it was like drizzle on the floor, whatever. But the morning after it just felt like a Christmas movie. Cuz it was snowing like and it was settled. And yeah, those two memories are one of the. The two contestants were number one for me.

[A]

Oh, that's lovely.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Okay, do you want one to ten? Ten is heavy, one is light. Pick a number.

[B]

You know What? Let's go 10. Let's go 10. Let's Go 10.

[A]

He must be from Spindle.

[B]

He's tough, you know. Swindon. Let's go.

[A]

Okay, let's go. Tough question. You said that your mum did it alone, as in traveling with you guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I ask where your dad was?

[B]

So you did say 10 when I was born. I do have memories of seeing my dad, you know, going to the shopping center. He was around in the beginning.

[A]

How many years are you talking?

[B]

I'd say till I was like seven. And I even still saw him around like the age of 13, 14. But wasn't too regularly. And after my mom gave birth to my brothers, my twin brothers, that's when the picture kind of changed and I started like falling out of that, you know, dream state. And I realized, you know, can I swear? Yeah, of course. Why the fuck is my dad. Because I generally wasn't seeing him that often. And though I do have those memories of, you know, being with them and stuff, then my mom told me those were just mostly like times where she had to ask, you know, go have some time with your son, you know. And, yeah, after my brothers were born, radio silent, complete radio silent. And then my mom met my stepdad, and they were together for like 11 years almost. And when I came to the UK, six or seven months in, we got a call and they found out he died. Don't know the causes, don't know the reason, don't even know where. Still haven't visited his grave or anything. But with the things that I've learned about him and the way I've kind of just matured and realized, okay, cool, I know what a dad should be like in a sense. And he wasn't that, at least from what I saw from other people's dads. And, yeah, to this day, I'm a bit conflicted whether I like him, I miss him, I don't like him, I hate him, do I want to change my last name? But he will be an example of what not to follow, I guess, what not to do. Because, you know, no kid deserves not to have their parent present.

[A]

What do you remember of the time that you had with him?

[B]

I remember him always having money and always just, like, buying me gifts and obviously going to the shopping center, watching movies, food, a lot of food, a lot of, like, McDonald's and the sorts. And it was fun because obviously I was a kid, I could get what I liked, you know what I'm saying? Whenever he was around, I do remember times where I was pretty happy. Like, one of my only pictures of me as a toddler, it was taken on a day where I was chilling with him. Though I have no more pictures of me and him together, me looking at that picture does bring back subtle memories of. Of him. And, you know, that's why I always say that I'm conflicted, you know, because I have happy memories. But, you know, do I let the bad times kind of overshadow everything, or do I just, you know, honor him and, you know, keep going?

[A]

Isn't it. Is there any way of you. I mean, so it's. Obviously it's so easy me to say this, but is there any way to, like, to find out a bit more information about how he died or his life before he died, or a bit more about his world, a bit more to help you just, like, process it, help you make sense of it all?

[B]

I feel like some of the answers I did get kind of comforted me in that time. When I learned of his passing, I did learn that he wasn't alone. He had other family like brothers, sisters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I do have cousins from my dad's side that, you know, I could possibly get to meet, get a bit more. More information and stuff.

[A]

I mean, look, can I say. What can I say? Here's something might be interesting to you. So I never met my grandfather on my mum's side, and he came here just before the Nazis invaded his country, and he came here as, like, a chef, okay. And just got, you know, got a job and stuff. He started his own little underground bar. And my mum always said that he wasn't interested in her. You know, he never spoke to her, did his own thing. And then recently, I found out that there was someone living with them or a lodger who knew my granddad quite well. Like, they used to hang out, right? So, like, he had information. My grandfather was like, whoa. Like, this is.

[B]

How do you know this?

[A]

Yeah, exactly. No one knows this, but then it's like, well, I've got to find. I've got to track him down. He's really old now, but tracked it down, had a conversation with him. Now, of course, he told me loads of stuff about. About my grandfather I didn't know and what he was like as a person. And you know what's interesting? He said he was really loving and he was really kind. Loads of really great things. And he said about his own children, he said he didn't know how to love his children. He was traumatized or, like, whatever. He couldn't do it for whatever reason. But in terms of how he felt about him, he thought he was great. And they didn't say he was a great dad or anything. He said, sure, he was not a good dad, but I think sometimes it's one of those ones where, you know, people's personal history sometimes almost makes it impossible. I'm not saying that's happened to your death.

[B]

No.

[A]

All I'm saying is there's always something, you know.

[B]

You know, like, I did know a couple things about him. He had a couple construction companies, and under him, my uncles used to work. And whenever the conversation of dad comes around, you know, they always tell me, oh, he was the nicest boss. The way they speak about him is like, as if he was their role model. And, you know, I never felt away about it when they said it. I've always thought, like, you know what? That's crazy. You know, that's cool. I mean, he can't just have been, like, a really shit person overall, because I did hear good things about him, like, and he still paid for the stuff that I needed, you know, clothes, food. But you know, it's just like such a polar opposite from what my mom tells me to what, you know, my uncle tells me to what this other person that met him at work would have told him and stuff.

[A]

And like, and that's the thing about any person. They were a different person to every person. You're different to me how you'd be different to the person over there. Like, it's hard to figure out really in the answer though.

[B]

And that's what makes you, me at the end, confused. Cuz I'm always like, sure, I, I'd like to, you know, honor the, the memory of someone that, as my uncle say, has been a good person. It was their role model.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I wouldn't want to honor what the person that my mom told me about what I saw, in a sense. So obviously I'm just in, in the middle.

[A]

There's still time for you to figure stuff out. I may as well have you ask questions. Did anyone like, has anyone like, filled that role for you at all?

[B]

Those, those two in particular? Obviously my ex stepdad, he did step in when needed, you know, and he got to see me grow. I did get to learn a lot of things from him. And you know, he was there when my dad wasn't and was still alive. You also got to keep in mind, like it's four, five kids basically. Like it's a big baggage. And funny enough, he had his own kids, though they were in Angola. Like, he still had to like, take care of his own. So the fact that he a lot of times gave to us, we could have given to them. I'll always be grateful for that and always make sure to, you know, let them know that. And also, if anything, I'll always repay tenfold because it was that grade. And then the other father figures, I guess were my uncles. They were always there to like, help, you know, take me to school, pick me up from school, take us to go visit our auntie to chill there because obviously she was the nucleus of the family and it was always like a vibe over there. So yeah, like they always like made sure to tell me, you know, be cool to your mom. Always be respectful to women. Always make sure to help the people that don't have it. Protect your brothers, teach your brothers the ways how we are teaching you, and be a good man. And I have my thoughts, but I do think I come a long way and I've learned quite a fair share of it from them.

[A]

If you've got any questions, you'd like to ask yourself and answer them as there's something that, like, has been on your mind recently and you want to just look a bit internally and talk to yourself and ask yourself a question and answer it.

[B]

I'd say, why do you really, like, isolate yourself a lot sometimes? And I guess the answer could be, I do still feel like I need some peace of mind and some. Some space for myself. Because with COVID and also the breakup, everything's just been a bit overwhelming. Though I'm happy and I'm at a better place now, there's still a little feeling of overwhelmingness that takes over. I sometimes require that peacefulness and that time for myself, which then allows me to also progress musically as well. Because I'm not just sat down doing nothing. I'm most of the time producing. So that little time for myself. I've managed to create some bangers for my own ears, hopefully in the future for the world. I want to listen, but soon enough.

[A]

I'm looking forward to listening. Okay, two more questions. You don't need to describe, like, where we are, but can you just say what you can see and what it makes you feel.

[B]

So kind of deep? Yeah, but I see the past, I see the present, and I see the future. Because I have memories of being here with friends at uni during COVID when kind of went out, you know, chilled with my friends in this area, and I was. It was a good memory. It was a very good memory. And then the present, you know, what I'm seeing now, what I'm feeling now, the way this day has been, you know, nice and stuff, and the future. Hopefully soon this will be my home again, and I'll make sure to make it last.

[A]

That's lovely. Beautiful answer. Okay, last question. What are you going to do next?

[B]

So next, yeah, I'm going to have a spliff and my friends chat shit, have some food, and catch a train to Little Sweden.

[A]

Thank you so much for your time.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[C]

I wish I wasn't so stuck in my corner. Ooh, baby steps. One day I'll make it to the city I'll make it to the city Born on a Thursday I'm shy or brave where in between you're still in my head Our days in the city Our days in the city Wish you loved me More than you ever did Wish you loved me more than you ever did I wish you didn't buy me things they just get lost but our time together felt like love in the city Light love in the city the seasons change it gets so cold but isn't it pretty? White snow in the city White snow in the city Wish you loved me more than you ever did Wish you loved me more than you ever did Wish you loved me more than you ever did did Wish you loved me more than you ever did sa.