EPISODE 2: Fruit Sculptures for Breakfast

Summary

Podcast Title: Strangers on a Bench
Host: Tom Rosenthal
Episode: EPISODE 2: Fruit Sculptures for Breakfast
Release Date: September 30, 2024

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Introduction

In the second episode of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal delves deep into the life of a guest whose candid sharing unravels themes of family dynamics, personal growth, resilience, and the quest for self-discovery. Titled "Fruit Sculptures for Breakfast," this episode paints a vivid portrait of how early experiences shape our habits, relationships, and aspirations.

Guest Background

From the outset (00:04), Tom introduces the premise of his podcast—approaching strangers on park benches to engage in meaningful conversations. The guest, whose anonymity is preserved per the show's format, swiftly opens up about personal preferences and formative experiences.

The Importance of Cleanliness and Childhood Experiences

The conversation begins with an unexpected yet intimate topic: the guest's fondness for cleaning activities.

Guest (00:49): "I'll say Saturday, because I can wake up whenever I want. I clean my house, which helps me reset. I love the smell of bleach and detergents."

This affinity for cleanliness isn't merely a quirky habit but a reflection of the guest's upbringing. The guest explains that growing up in a household where both parents worked extensively led to an early sense of responsibility.

Guest (01:30): "I grew up in a house where my mom was working a lot of hours. My dad was working, too. ... So, yeah, I learned to clean since I was very little."

A poignant memory emerges when the guest recounts being left alone for the first time, leading to a cherished ritual of preparing a bath—turning a mundane task into a moment of self-care and creativity.

Guest (02:07): "Turned off the lights, put on some candles, listened to my favorite music."

Family Dynamics and Therapy

The discussion naturally flows into the complexities of family relationships. The guest candidly talks about their parents' struggles with mental health issues—bipolar disorder in the father and depression in the mother—which profoundly affected their upbringing.

Guest (05:06): "My dad is bipolar. My mom has depression. ... I never heard the word I love you from them. So that was tough for me too."

Tom shares a personal connection, mentioning his deceased father and the universal challenge of yearning for expressed affection from parents.

Host (06:16): "It's a very long line of people who have not been able to communicate it."

The guest elaborates on their therapeutic journey, highlighting a transformative moment facilitated by their therapist.

Guest (07:31): "Imagine all the pain and the sadness you feel like a wall of brick. ... after that, I calmed myself down."

This breakthrough enables the guest to navigate past grievances, fostering acceptance rather than forgiveness.

Personal Growth and Overcoming Challenges

Navigating a household marked by emotional tumult necessitated early maturity. The guest recounts the challenges of having a parent with bipolar disorder, leading to periods of unpredictability and the burden of protecting their mother.

Guest (08:24): "So, yeah, I spent a lot of my childhood protecting my mom."

The decision to leave their home country emerges as a pivotal act of self-preservation and growth.

Guest (09:32): "I decided to leave my country. This was the main reason."

Relocating provided the guest with a comparative perspective on their brother's struggles, reinforcing the benefits of distance and new beginnings.

Embracing Courage and New Experiences

A significant portion of the episode celebrates the guest's newfound courage—a rarity shaped by their past. This segment is rich with anecdotes of bold decisions and adventurous undertakings.

Guest (11:29): "That's funny, because I'm in a period in my life that I have a lot of courage right now."

Quitting a job represents the zenith of this courageous phase. The guest describes the emotional turmoil and ultimate relief that followed their decision.

Guest (12:23): "I quit my job. ... It was the most courageous thing I've done in my life so far."

Traveling solo to Costa Rica and conquering a fear of driving underscores the guest's relentless pursuit of personal liberation.

Guest (13:19): "I drove a car there by myself. It was unbelievably liberating."

Bungee jumping presents another testament to their bravery, motivated by a desire to not feel embarrassed by others' bucket lists.

Guest (14:17): "I did bungee jumping. ... It's embarrassing."

Personal Rituals and Hobbies

Amidst tales of resilience and courage, the guest shares endearing personal rituals that offer insight into their character and coping mechanisms. A standout habit is crafting intricate fruit sculptures for breakfast—a meditative practice that blends creativity with nourishment.

Guest (16:01): "I like to spend a lot of time preparing my breakfast. ... make designs with them."

Notable Quote:

Guest (16:34): "My favorite is paws. Dog paws."

These morning rituals stem from childhood experiences where breakfast was anything but pleasant, prompting the guest to reinvent it as a form of self-expression and care.

Guest (17:12): "It comes again from childhood. ... That's an awful way to start my day."

Knitting and crocheting, taught by the guest's grandfather during World War II, serve as another therapeutic outlet.

Guest (21:09): "I like knitting and crochet. ... I make a lot of Stuff which I then gift."

Additionally, cultivating an apple tree on their balcony in London symbolizes growth and hope.

Guest (22:52): "I like growing fruit in my balcony in London. ... I have a one and a half meter tree on my bicycle."

Reflections on the Pandemic

The guest opens up about the isolating impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, highlighting how solitude and nature became vital sources of comfort and strength.

Guest (26:24): "My flatmate had gone to her partner. ... I spent ... being totally alone, watching all the news every day."

Daily walks in Hyde Park provided a crucial connection to nature, a stark contrast to the guest's upbringing in a city devoid of green spaces.

Guest (27:39): "I was very lucky for living close to Hyde Park, so I was able to go for walks every day."

These simple, everyday interactions—like queuing at the supermarket—offered glimmers of humanity that sustained the guest through challenging times.

Future Plans and Conclusion

As the episode draws to a close, the guest reflects on their journey and outlines aspirations for the future. Having recently left their job, they express a desire to pursue endeavors that offer personal fulfillment and societal contribution.

Guest (24:31): "I want to do something that gives me pleasure of offering, like offering something to people, to the society."

Embracing moments of rest and leisure without the compulsion to be productive marks a significant shift in their approach to life.

Guest (29:07): "I'll just probably go home ... and think of what I'm gonna do tomorrow."

The closing moments feature a child's whimsical dream of creating fruit sculptures and expressing boundless love, resonating with the episode's themes of creativity and emotional openness.

Child (30:33): "One day I'm gonna be grown up. ... I'll say, I love you, too."

Key Takeaways

• Resilience Through Adversity: The guest's ability to navigate a tumultuous family environment and emerge stronger underscores the human capacity for resilience.

• The Power of Rituals: Personal rituals, whether morning fruit sculptures or knitting, serve as anchors that provide stability and self-expression.

• Embracing Change: Courageous decisions, such as quitting a job or traveling solo, illustrate the importance of stepping out of comfort zones to achieve personal growth.

• Connection with Nature: The guest's newfound appreciation for nature highlights its therapeutic role in mental well-being.

• Balancing Productivity and Rest: Learning to value downtime without guilt reflects a healthy approach to mental health and self-care.

Quotes with Timestamps

• Guest (00:49): "I love the smell of bleach and detergents."
• Guest (05:06): "I never heard the word I love you from them. So that was tough for me too."
• Guest (07:31): "Imagine all the pain and the sadness you feel like a wall of brick."
• Guest (11:29): "I'm in a period in my life that I have a lot of courage right now."
• Guest (16:34): "My favorite is paws. Dog paws."
• Child (30:33): "I'll say, I love you, too."

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This episode of "Strangers on a Bench" offers a profound exploration of how our past shapes our present and influences our future. Through heartfelt dialogue, the guest illustrates the journey from overcoming familial challenges to embracing personal passions and carving out a path of intentional living. Tom Rosenthal skillfully facilitates a conversation that is both introspective and inspiring, leaving listeners with a deeper understanding of the human spirit's resilience and capacity for growth.

Transcript

[Host]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? What is your favorite day of the week?

[Guest]

I'll say Saturday, because I can wake up whenever I want. I clean my house, which helps me reset. I love the smell of bleach and detergents.

[Host]

You're the first person that's got so quickly to the smell of bleach and detergent.

[Guest]

No, I'm not a junkie.

[Host]

Probably within 11 seconds of talking. Love it.

[Guest]

Yeah. I also think of what I would like to cook during the week so I get inspired for ingredients. I speak to my family. Yeah, it's a lot of me time.

[Host]

Do you know where this feeling of liking things, being really clean, do you know where that comes from?

[Guest]

I grew up in a house where my mom was working a lot of hours. My dad was working, too. So she would come home exhausted, and she would only cook for us. But she was not a fan of cleaning. So, yeah, I learned to clean since I was very little.

[Host]

Can you remember a time as a little person when you first experienced the joy of a clean space?

[Guest]

I was still going to school, and my parents left me home alone for the first time. They went to my village to visit my grandpa, and I always had this fantasy of taking a bath because I've never had a bath since then. Always shower. And I was like, okay, I have to clean my bath first. And that's the first time I did it. Turned off the lights, put on some candles, listened to my favorite music. So, yeah.

[Host]

Wow.

[Guest]

Sorry for the noise.

[Host]

Take it. Take it.

[Guest]

Oh, no, it's fine. Because if I take it, it's gonna take ages.

[Host]

When you talk to your family, do you talk for a long time?

[Guest]

Usually, yeah, because they're abroad.

[Host]

Do they worry about you or do you worry about them?

[Guest]

They worry more about me than me about them.

[Host]

Are they correct? Are they right?

[Guest]

No, they're not. It should be the other way around. They're more stubborn than me and they do more stupid things than me, so.

[Host]

And what do they worry about with you? I mean, what kind of things do.

[Guest]

They concern If I eat well? Yeah, they're Mediterranean, so that's important. That's the main worry. If I sleep well.

[Host]

Oh, wow.

[Guest]

If I dress up well, never forget my jacket when I go outside. If I'm okay with my partner, I love it.

[Host]

That's if you're okay with your partner. It's the kind of fourth down from, oh, that's amazing. Are you happy with them as parents? In the magical draw of the luck of who your parents are, are you happy with who you got?

[Guest]

If you asked me 10 years ago, I would tell you no. But after 10 years of therapy, I can say that I'm fine. It could have been worse. It could have been better, but they did the best they could under their circumstances. They grew up in.

[Host]

I understand. So when you say therapy, therapy for you or therapy with them for me. I see. Can you say at all what the. In terms of their growing up? What the. What. What. What the issue was with that?

[Guest]

It's them. As you can see, that's one of the issues.

[Host]

Oh, that's a ringtone for them. So that's their personal ringtone.

[Guest]

No, that's calling. So if they can find me on Skype, they will start calling me everywhere. Yeah, so that's. That's one of the issues.

[Host]

Oh, parents. It's funny, just as we're talking about them, so, you know, you said their upbringing. What about that? Was hard for them. That made life hard for you.

[Guest]

So they both had a lot of psychological issues. So my dad is a bipolar. My mom has depression. She grew up in a very difficult environment. She lost her mom when she was a child. And her dad, my grandpa, was not a very loving. So both of them, they never experienced true love. So for them, love was to just give my child food, take it to a nice school, give money, and that's it. But I never heard the word I love you from them. So that was tough for me too.

[Host]

Have they said it since?

[Guest]

They try, and it's very difficult for them, and I can feel it. They will never tell me I love you. They will tell me, mommy loves you. Like a different person. Distancing themselves, does that feel tough? I feel sorry for them for never experiencing it, but I cannot blame them.

[Host]

Yeah. If it's any consolation to you, my father is dead now. But it was the same for him. I know he definitely felt something, but he never really said it. And just before he died, he said it, which is nice, but sometimes I think I was kind of dreaming. It's just me and him. You look back and go, did he say it? It's a funny situation, and it's a shame, really, because it's not quite their fault. It's a very long line of people who have not been able to communicate it.

[Guest]

You know, it's A circle. Someone has to break it.

[Host]

Yes. This is it. And that's you.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

And the therapist.

[Guest]

Yeah. At this point, I'd like to thank my therap.

[Host]

How did you overcome that? Obviously, you know, the therapist helped, but there was any particular thing the therapist said or particular way of framing it which meant you somehow became okay with it all.

[Guest]

So I remember a phrase she liked told me. She was like, imagine all the pain and the sadness you feel like a wall of brick. You have to break it to go through. It will hurt. It's painful, but at the other side, you'll feel better. So when she made me realize that the love I was getting from my parents was not the love I actually needed, I remember I couldn't stop crying for a day, and my therapist wouldn't let me hang up. And she stayed with me for a couple of hours. And after that, I calmed myself down. I was like, okay, that's it.

[Host]

You had to go through that to feel. Yeah. What's it like having a parent that has bipolar? What does that mean to you?

[Guest]

It was difficult because there were times that he would be funny and calm, like the dad I always knew, and moments he would just snap and be violent, both verbally and physically, mainly to my mom and then us.

[Host]

Oh, God.

[Guest]

So, yeah, I spent a lot of my childhood protecting my mom, which was also a role I shouldn't have.

[Host]

Was it just completely random when it happened?

[Guest]

It could happen even a couple of times during the day. Or even weak. I think the maximum was weak.

[Host]

Yeah. Crikey. How. I'm really interested how you kind of would forgive him.

[Guest]

I don't know if it's forgiveness or acceptance. I think there's a difference there. Yeah. Sometimes you can't forgive. You just leave. Yeah, that's why I left.

[Host]

Yeah. Oh, that's why you left?

[Guest]

Yeah, I decided to leave my country. This was the main reason.

[Host]

Wow. Have you. In kind of escaping it, has it made it better? I mean, has the distance helped?

[Guest]

Yes, it helped a lot because I can compare myself with my brother, who's still there.

[Host]

Ah, okay.

[Guest]

And.

[Host]

And he's struggling.

[Guest]

Yes.

[Host]

Big question. But if. Oh, you might be a parent. Are you a parent now?

[Guest]

Not yet.

[Host]

If and when you might be a parent, how would you do things differently?

[Guest]

Oh, that's a nice question, because I discussed it recently with my parents.

[Host]

Oh, really? How perfect.

[Guest]

So up until recently, I didn't want to have kids just for this reason. I was afraid of becoming them. But she reassured me that just the fact that I've done therapy for all these years. Distances me from them. I'm never gonna be like them. And I think the thing I'm gonna do differently, it's the way I love them. I have a lot of love inside me, and I want to pass it on to them.

[Host]

Yeah, that's lovely.

[Guest]

And I think this will also cure the child inside me.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

I would really like to play with my kid and hug it and tell them I love them.

[Host]

Tell me the last time you wished you had more courage to do something, but you didn't do it.

[Guest]

That's funny, because I'm in a period in my life that I have a lot of courage right now.

[Host]

Fantastic.

[Guest]

So I quit from my job. That's why on a Thursday afternoon, I'm sitting on a bench. That's the most courageous thing I've done in my life so far.

[Host]

Wonderful. Good on you. What made you take the leap?

[Guest]

I was tired of blaming myself for other people's mistakes and trying to fix things that are not under my control. I couldn't stand this anymore. So, yeah, I quit. And I'm very happy about this.

[Host]

Did you do it in a particular way that you wanted to do it?

[Guest]

So I was very scared of doing it. Obviously, I've never done it before, but I went in his office, and I was determined to not change my mind because I knew he would try to change my mind. But I was lucky, because the moment I told him, he exploded. He showed me his real self.

[Host]

Perfect. Yes.

[Guest]

I was like, perfect. That's the best choice I could ever do.

[Host]

Well, it sounds like if you're in the courageous moment now.

[Guest]

Yeah, I think I'm heading for the moon.

[Host]

The moon of courage. Currently. Have you started doing things that you hadn't otherwise done?

[Guest]

Yes, I did. I traveled this past month, twice, like Costa Rica, and I drove a car there by myself.

[Host]

All the way?

[Guest]

Yes.

[Host]

What, from here?

[Guest]

No, no. From here I can't. No. But while being there. And I was super afraid of cars until then, but it was unbelievably liberating.

[Host]

This is amazing. You've pushed through all these barriers, and you've had doubts, but you've pushed through. How have you done that?

[Guest]

So whenever I try something new, I always experience these two feelings, fear and enthusiasm. If the fear overcomes the enthusiasm, then I will rarely do it. But if enthusiasm is greater, I'll just push myself and be like, you know, you only live once, and you'll definitely regret not doing it. I also did bungee jumping.

[Host]

Bungee jumping?

[Guest]

Yes. What's that like, like the blood leaving your body for a few seconds. But the thing that pushed me to it was old lady before me. She was 75 and it was in her bucket list. So I was like, well, if she's doing it, I have to do it. It's embarrassing.

[Host]

So you got to see the 75 year old. You're like, oh, no, I can't back out now. How long did you stand on the ledge for?

[Guest]

Like 30 seconds.

[Host]

That's not too bad.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Can you remember what you were thinking about at that time?

[Guest]

Before I jump, I was talking to the guy that would put all the safety nets on me. And I was like, did you check them correctly? He was like, yeah, are you sure? No, I'm not. One, two. And he pushed me not even away to three. I was like, oh, you son of him.

[Host]

So as you're going down, you're thinking, oh, that guy. That's most of your experience. What are you like for the rest of the day?

[Guest]

Extremely happy. Like I did drugs or something.

[Host]

Oh, fantastic.

[Guest]

I think it was the adrenaline effect. But yeah, I was like, I can conquer the world.

[Host]

Maybe you will.

[Guest]

We'll see.

[Host]

Is there anything that you do that you think no one else does? What I mean by that is you have any little rituals? You think, I wonder if I'm the only person that does this.

[Guest]

I'm definitely not the only person that does this, but I have little self care rituals. So I like to spend a lot of time preparing my breakfast. Even during early work days, like 6am I love preparing. I like to wash my fruit, peel them, cut them into small pieces and make designs with them.

[Host]

Make designs. Oh, wonderful. That's really charming. Can I ask what kind of designs?

[Guest]

My favorite is paws.

[Host]

No paws.

[Guest]

Dog paws.

[Host]

And the dogs just come to visit us at the same time. Let's look at this dog's paw. See if you can see if he can get some inspiration.

[Guest]

Yeah. Or little faces.

[Host]

Yeah. And do you, is this just for you or do you share with anyone else? You don't take a picture, you don't send to the parents and go, look what I'm eating.

[Guest]

Now if I did that, they would probably be like, just eat it, eat it. The vitamins disappeared, you know, so once.

[Host]

You'Ve made the poor food art or the face, how much do you appreciate what you've done before you destroy it?

[Guest]

Not much. Like a few seconds.

[Host]

All right.

[Guest]

But yeah, I like to have my oatmeal, my bread, my jam. Always watch something on my laptop. So I usually spend like 40 minutes, my breakfast time. I'd rather wake up early and miss some of my sleep than miss.

[Host]

Than miss the breakfast. Wow, I really like that. Do you know why you do this?

[Guest]

Yes, I know. It comes again from childhood. My dad would always prepare us breakfast because my mom was working very early.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

And, okay, he was tired, he was bored, I guess. So he just prepared us a piece of bread that was that thick. I couldn't chew it in my mouth and it was always dry with some honey. And that's it. I was like, that's an awful way to start my day, this boat of bread.

[Host]

I feel so sorry for childhood, you with your massive bit of bread.

[Guest]

Yeah, I sell these dry bread and.

[Host]

It'S massive and it's dry. Everything comes from somewhere, doesn't it? So I suppose you have your father to thank in an odd way.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

For your funky breakfast. How did you meet your partner?

[Guest]

Through mutual friends. And it happened before the pandemic, back in my home country in a nice cafe. And we managed to keep this distant relationship until Covid started. And the first time they allowed us to travel, he became a love immigrant for me.

[Host]

Lovely.

[Guest]

So we're both here now.

[Host]

Fantastic. What do you enjoy about being in a relationship with this person that I.

[Guest]

Can be myself in my good. In my bad moments. Everything. I don't have to hide anything. I don't have to feel ashamed for anything. I can talk to him about everything. My secrets, my, you know, evil thoughts, everything. I think he's my best friend.

[Host]

Oh, wonderful. What do you miss from home?

[Guest]

What I miss from home? Not much anymore. I think it's people that make home. And most of the people are here with me or they visit me often. I don't think I miss anything anymore. It's been many years as well. Almost 10.

[Host]

Do you have any questions that you would like to ask yourself when you're talking to someone? There's like something that's just on your. In your head. You always. They would ask about that. Do you have anything in your. In your head that you would ask yourself and then answer it?

[Guest]

You could ask me about my hobbies. I think I have quite rare hobbies.

[Host]

Okay, rare hobbies. Okay. Well, maybe I should have got. I should have got an idea of this from the whole breakfast that I should have learnt. And the fact that you mentioned your love of detergent within seven seconds of talking. Okay, so hobbies. Here we go.

[Guest]

I like knitting and crochet.

[Host]

Yes, A lot crochet.

[Guest]

Yes. And I make a lot of Stuff which I then gift.

[Host]

Oh, amazing.

[Guest]

So yeah, I love this. And whenever I start doing it and I do it with passions, I can finish whole jacket like a couple of days, but then my arm hurts. So it happened that I had to go for physio a couple of times.

[Host]

Are you very, very fast? Yes, yes. So you can do a whole jacket?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

What in two days? Jacket. Wow. Can you do it and just completely kind of switch off? Is that the kind of.

[Guest]

That's what I do. I think about nothing else when I do it.

[Host]

How did you find that you loved it?

[Guest]

So my grandpa taught me to knit.

[Host]

Oh, that's cool.

[Guest]

Because he was knitting his socks during World War II. So I learned from a guy.

[Host]

That's interesting.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

And do you remember being kind of wanting to learn? You were like, oh.

[Guest]

Because I saw he had this bag and the knitting needles and yarns in his closet. I was like, grandpa, how do you use these? What do you do with this? And you know, he just knew only simple stitches and stuff. But I. And I remember because he was like 80 years old, he couldn't see very well. He was wearing his glasses like he's trying to show me.

[Host]

What a lovely thing to pass on. You mentioned hobbies. Are there more?

[Guest]

So that's one and the other one that it's mainly for this time of the year. I like growing fruit in my balcony in London.

[Host]

That's lovely.

[Guest]

And I'm growing an apple tree. I had an apple in one of my breakfasts that I was doing the dog paws and it had sprouted. A little root came off the seed. Let's plant it and see what happens. And it's been two years and I have a one and a half meter tree in my bicycle.

[Host]

Wow. So it's doing all right.

[Guest]

It's like that now?

[Host]

Yeah, fantastic.

[Guest]

I'm hoping in three years from now I'll have apples.

[Host]

Imagine the taste of that.

[Guest]

Pink ladies.

[Child]

Pink ladies.

[Host]

Wow. What a life, eh? So you've got new found freedom. You quit your job?

[Guest]

I traveled.

[Host]

What are you going to? I mean, what now?

[Guest]

So it's been about two and a half months that I quit it. I think I'm going to slowly start looking for next steps now. And I don't think I'm going to lower my standards easily this time and pay more attention to details that I totally skipped because of the, you know, need to have a job and get paid.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

I'd like to do something that gives me pleasure of offering, like offering something to people, to the society.

[Host]

So you Want more satisfaction?

[Guest]

Yes. I want to be able to go to bed every night and have a smile and say, okay, I did this tiny bit today.

[Host]

Three more questions and I'll leave you alone because you probably have things.

[Guest]

Well, I have to call my mom. Yeah, that's it.

[Host]

Can you describe for me what we can see in front of us and how that makes you feel?

[Guest]

We are at Hampstead Heath, the Parliament Hill, and we can see parts of London and the skyline. I like being here because it's open and my view is not restricted and can also give you the two, you know, ends of London or civilization in general, like nature and buildings and scaffolding. And. Except from the kids that we come here, it's generally very quiet, so I can hear my thoughts.

[Host]

What is the biggest thing that's ever happened around you? Not to you, but around you, would you say?

[Guest]

I think the pandemic. I never thought I would experience something like that in my life. And I was super scared when it first happened. I thought basically that we would never be free again. I was terrified because I spent all of the pandemic alone in a flat in London, totally alone. My flatmate had gone to her partner. My partner was still trapped back in our homeland. So I think I spent, like, three, four months being totally alone, watching all the news every day, people dying, people getting sick. I think it was terrifying. And I think people who managed to survive this, not only physically but also mentally, we are all heroes. I think.

[Host]

During that time of being alone a lot. So alone all that time, that's quite. That's really something. Is there anything that particularly sustained you which was kind of surprising to you? Didn't think it would.

[Guest]

I was very lucky for living close to Hyde park, so I was able to go for walks every day. So I remember there was a point I would do the round of Hyde park every day for, like, two weeks or so. And I think that's the first time that I became so close with nature. Because coming from a city where there were no parks back in my home country, I never had this experience. And I think, yeah, that's what helped me, honestly. And I remember I liked going to the supermarket and just queuing, just talk to the person standing in front of me and behind me, just, you know, a touch of humanity.

[Host]

That's it. If you think. What I like about that, what you just said, is that, you know, even now, those little moments throughout the day are so important. You know, just those moments sustained you.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Even though they're really little, they kept you going. And that's how important they are. And I think people forget that. Do you know what I mean?

[Guest]

Exactly.

[Host]

Okay, last question for you. What are you going to do next?

[Guest]

As if. Today.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

So the reason I also quit my job is because I never had a gap in my life. Because I know many people, especially here in uk, they like to take a gap year before or after uni. So I never had a gap. And even before I quit, my free time, as I told you before, was cleaning the house, cooking, so doing productive stuff. Because I always wanted to feel productive. I felt guilty if I didn't do anything. And I realized that it's fine if I don't do anything. It's fine if I just sit in my couch and just stare at my plants or watch a Netflix show. Not everything has to be something to produce. It's fine. We all need some time off to restart our brain. So I'll just probably go home on my way, buy something from Gail's. Sorry. For the ad, like a chocolate brownie, and then just go home, chill, watch Netflix, and think of what I'm gonna do tomorrow.

[Child]

One day I'm gonna be grown up. One day I'm gonna be big. I'll make sculptures from my breakfast using fruit I find in my fridge. I'll say, no, I'd rather not do that. If I'd really rather not do that. And when someone tells me they love me, I'll say, I love you, too. Cause there's never too much love. And there's never too many. I love you. You can have all of my love you. Cause mine.