EPISODE 20: Two Funerals and a Faulty Printer

Summary

Podcast Summary: Strangers on a Bench - EPISODE 20: Two Funerals and a Faulty Printer

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Release Date: January 27, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 20 of Strangers on a Bench, host Tom Rosenthal engages in a candid and multifaceted conversation with a fellow park bench dweller, referred to as B. Over the course of approximately 28 minutes, the discussion meanders through topics such as office dynamics, personal relationships, the nature of memory, and reflections on funerals. This episode stands out for its deep dive into the complexities of everyday interactions and the introspective musings that arise from brief yet meaningful encounters.

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Office Life and the Frustration with Printers

The conversation kicks off with a light-hearted inquiry about favorite days of the week, quickly pivoting to the less favored Tuesday, which B attributes to the lingering anticipation of the weekend juxtaposed against the week's ongoing demands.

Notable Quote:

"I work in an office and Tuesday's hard. Monday, you've got a bit of pep, and this might be a good week. By Tuesday, you know, it's not going to be a good week and there's still so much more to go." (01:10)

B elaborates on the office environment, describing it as theater-oriented rather than corporate. A significant portion of their frustration centers around malfunctioning printers, leading to humorous yet relatable anecdotes about colleagues attempting to "fix" printers by forcefully hitting them.

Notable Quote:

"Lots of people shouting at screens, which for an alien would be weird because there's nothing there. Just a screen. But lots of frustration, lots of hitting of a big plastic object, which is the printer." (01:44)
"They think it's a technique to help it, which I just feel like it can't be." (02:00)

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Navigating Personal Relationships and Power Dynamics

Shifting gears, the dialogue explores interpersonal relationships, particularly focusing on power dynamics within both professional and personal spheres. B expresses admiration for hierarchical structures, acknowledging their necessity while also recognizing the inherent power imbalances they create.

Notable Quote:

"I'm a big fan. Love it. I mean, I feel like. I would say, yeah, you know, not great, but sometimes I think it probably. Probably do need it." (13:22)

Tom shares insights into his own social interactions, highlighting a friend's clever tactics to assert dominance in conversations. This leads to a broader discussion on the nature of friendships and the varying ways individuals express care and maintain connections.

Notable Quote:

"My way of showing like love and care would be like, oh hi Tom, hope your interview today went well. I'm not doing a lot there but I like will have banked that, that you said that last week that your interview is tomorrow and I will sort of check in about that." (16:19)

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Reflections on Funerals and Remembrance

A poignant segment of the episode delves into reflections on funerals and the desire to be remembered in specific ways. B recounts attending a grandmother's funeral where an unexpected death occurred, sparking thoughts on how individuals wish to be remembered posthumously.

Notable Quote:

"I went to a funeral recently of somebody who is, like, 60, in her 60s... I was like, that's what I want. That's what I want them to talk about at my funeral." (11:06)

The conversation touches on the superficial versus genuine aspects of remembrance, with B contemplating the authenticity of memories and how they shape one's legacy.

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The Nature of Memory and Personal Identity

The dialogue transitions into an exploration of memory—how mundane moments are remembered and the extent to which individuals reflect on their own recollections. Tom expresses his fascination with seemingly insignificant memories, while B discusses the challenges of recalling truly mundane events versus more impactful ones.

Notable Quote:

"I like what you said about it being, like, bizarre... I like to hear about their least favorite days." (17:23)

This segment highlights the subjective nature of memory and its role in constructing personal identity, as both participants share anecdotes that reveal their unique perspectives on what is worth remembering.

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Concluding Thoughts and Final Reflections

As the conversation draws to a close, both Tom and B ponder their future actions and the impact of their interactions. B mentions returning to office life, while Tom reflects on the enriching yet exhausting nature of the interview. The episode culminates in a lyrical poetic monologue by an unidentified speaker, encapsulating the themes of memory, remembrance, and the bittersweet nature of human connections.

Notable Quote:

"Remember me for my memory for the things I never would let go... It's a comforting suggestion all my worries with me die." (28:12)

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Insights and Takeaways

• Authenticity in Daily Interactions: The episode underscores the importance of genuine connections, even in brief encounters. By maintaining anonymity, both Tom and B are afforded a space for openness and vulnerability.

• Balancing Professional and Personal Life: The discussion around office dynamics and personal relationships highlights the ongoing struggle to balance professional obligations with personal well-being.

• The Impermanence of Memory: Reflecting on funerals and personal recollections, the episode delves into how memories shape our understanding of ourselves and our desire to be remembered.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Despite frustrations, particularly with malfunctioning printers, both participants use humor to navigate and diffuse daily stresses.

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Conclusion

Episode 20 of Strangers on a Bench offers a rich tapestry of conversations that touch upon universal themes of memory, relationships, and the quirks of everyday life. Through the candid exchange between Tom Rosenthal and B, listeners are invited to reflect on their own interactions and the fleeting yet impactful moments that define our shared human experience.

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Engage with more thought-provoking conversations by subscribing to "Strangers on a Bench" on your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? Do you have a favorite day of the week?

[B]

I feel like I have my least favorite days of the week, but that feels maybe a bit of a negative answer.

[A]

But that's okay. It doesn't have to be instant joy.

[B]

You know, probably is Friday, which feels very kind of.

[A]

I almost now want to hear about their least favorite days.

[B]

I work in an office and Tuesday's hard. Monday, you've got a bit of pep, and this might be a good week. By Tuesday, you know, it's not going to be a good week and there's still so much more to go, you know what I mean? It does feel very geared toward the weekend, which may be a bit depressing.

[A]

What's it like to work in an office?

[B]

Well, I work for theater. It's office vibes, but it's not like corporate at all.

[A]

How would you describe being in an office to an alien? To an alien or someone that had never done it before. What happens in there?

[B]

Lots of people shouting at screens, which for an alien would be weird because there's nothing there. Just a screen. But lots of frustration, lots of hitting of a big plastic object, which is the printer.

[A]

Some people really whack the printer.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They think it's a technique to help it, which I just feel like it can't be.

[A]

I love the designer kind of built that into the system, you know, let's make a thing that if you whack, it works. Honestly, how do you get the printer to work?

[B]

I sit next to somebody who it's sort of their vague remit, and I just bat my eyelids. I sort of play the kind of young woman card. Just that, like, I don't know how to. Yeah, never used one before.

[A]

How is your relationship generally with this person? Prince of Prince.

[B]

Really, really good.

[A]

Oh, good, good.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. We love each other. Yeah, fine.

[A]

So outside of Prince of Life is still good.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't be asking this of him if the relationship outside of printer life was. Was bad. The worst thing about him is that he sings Christmas songs all throughout the year. Oh, genuinely quite tricky.

[A]

Which Christmas song.

[B]

No, I don't want to talk about starts again. There's a whole range. There's a whole range. You just hear the Christmas tune and then I've instantly got my back up. I'm instantly annoyed and then the printer probably stops working and then it's all, you know, so downhill for that. And it's only Tuesday.

[A]

Yeah, classic.

[B]

Can I ask you questions back?

[A]

You really can, actually.

[B]

Okay, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever worked in an office? You don't give me office vibes.

[A]

You know what? I have, but not for long. For a year, the gap year, I suppose I just worked.

[B]

Yes, I did that between school, university.

[A]

Just trying to get as much money as possible.

[B]

Yes, that's exactly what I did.

[A]

So that was my.

[B]

Did it work? Did you get lots of money?

[A]

I definitely didn't get lots of money, but some though. But I work in a hospital so I definitely. But I got some money.

[B]

Worked in a hospital.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow. In an office.

[A]

An office in a hospital. But I then slightly graduated to just floating around the hospital looking for various X ray files.

[B]

Were you meant to do that?

[A]

No, no, that became. They just gave me a job. Weirdly, I think it's because of my general nature. That was the only job of that kind in the hospital, as it might mean. There's this one person doing this one job.

[B]

Right. Because of your nature. What does that mean? Single in nature?

[A]

No, I think they didn't want me. I did get in trouble a lot there. I was always asking people questions and being a bit like nosy in and around certain clinics and you know, we're meeting members of the public or in the office itself. I'll get bored and then be a bit, I wouldn't say disruptive but you know, I was like 18, 19, so I definitely was like you kind of.

[B]

Showing your willing in a way. Unless you're asking, I guess, personal questions about.

[A]

Oh, I would, I would have been asking personal questions.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Like not in a negative way. I was just trying to amuse myself a bit. And so I think they then thought, you know what, let's give him a job that's just floating around, having little moments with everyone but he's not stuck anywhere.

[B]

I'd love that actually.

[A]

No printing a one off job. It's like when they advertise for like that, you know, it's always on the news. There's like an island somewhere and someone's trying to, you know, you got to run the island. Do you know have you had those kind of jobs?

[B]

I haven't seen those job adverts, but.

[A]

I'm looking at the weird.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I guess I'm looking at the wrong size. Yeah.

[A]

What do you Think people think of you people?

[B]

That's quite broad.

[A]

Okay, well, let's say in the office. Let's say in the office you're at, what do you think of.

[B]

Oh, I know what they think of me in the office. They think I'm very, very chirpy, very chipper, and they. They think I sing songs a bit too much, probably a bit too loudly.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But they think I'm a bit of a silly goose, you know, up for a laugh. What else do they think of me?

[A]

And tell me why they're wrong.

[B]

Because I'm deeply, deeply angry and depressed. Thanks for asking.

[A]

And they've got no idea.

[B]

Yeah, they've got no idea. They hide it so well for even making that joke. Yeah. No, I have a very. I do have just a very chipper personality and I work at Essex.

[A]

Does that get pretty. Does that get tiring, though?

[B]

It does. If I. Well, it does come quite naturally, though, sort of terrifyingly naturally.

[A]

Can you say the most dramatic thing that's happened in the office? Can you take me through an emergency that you were not good at in?

[B]

I don't think I've been in too many emergencies. I'm quite good at being told what to do. Like, I think in an emergency someone could tell me. But I think, like, I do have a deep seat of fear. Like, I'm first aid trained. And I just don't think that was a good idea because if you start choking right now, I just don't believe that I would remember. It would come back.

[A]

Isn't it a classic home lick? But imagine being named after her. Like, that's your. Your. Like Bob Heimlich. What would you.

[B]

What would you want it to. What would you want your thing to be that you were named after?

[A]

Oh, I mean, something. Something.

[B]

Conversation.

[A]

Conversation event.

[B]

Yeah, like a particularly deep or insightful conversation.

[A]

I mean, I want. I mean, that would be. But also, like, trying to enforce. I mean, I wonder if, like, Heimlich, like, tried to enforce it himself. Like, he's like, can we name this after me, please? Like, can we actually, who is he?

[B]

Also, we're presuming he's a man, but he probably is, isn't he?

[A]

Probably is. I'm guessing he figured out he created how to do it.

[B]

Yeah. Yes, that's true. Yeah.

[A]

What do you think of books?

[B]

Hey?

[A]

You like books?

[B]

Yeah, I got an English degree. They're all right. Do you like books?

[A]

I do like books. I've always been a bit of a scattergun brain in the sense I'm not Very good at fantastic concentration. But I do really enjoy it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know why I read what I read either. You know one of those people? Well, I just. I'm reading a book about who owns England at the moment. About, like, land distribution in England. Why am I interested in that?

[B]

I don't know, but I can tell you a few reasons. You live in England, you know, number one.

[A]

And, like, we're on land.

[B]

It's not Columbia that you're reading about.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. And of course, you know, like, five people and everything. It's a usual story, but it's kind of. And everything's very secretive, of course.

[B]

What would you do if I were of your. Right now. That I was one of those five people?

[A]

I'd be so happy.

[B]

Would you?

[A]

I'd be. I'd be wonderful. What do you hope to own one day? Don't say house.

[B]

What? Because it's never gonna happen. Generation divide.

[A]

You can't say house because it would never happen.

[B]

What do I hope to own?

[A]

It could be like.

[B]

That's a strange question, though, isn't it?

[A]

That's why we're here. I mean, you could say your. Your aunties.

[B]

Who am I gonna kill off to get some of their possessions?

[A]

Your auntie's garlic press, whatever. I don't know.

[B]

She does have a good one as well.

[A]

Do you know your auntie?

[B]

Yeah, I do know my auntie.

[A]

Get on.

[B]

I've got two.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, go on with both of them. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Wouldn't want to kill them for any of their possessions. What do you want to own?

[A]

I really want to own a painting of my dead grandfather.

[B]

Of your dead grandfather?

[A]

Yeah. That a lodger of his did in the 1960s and revealed to me that he had in his loft recently. And I'm trying to track down this guy, but he lives in Mexico.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I really want. I would, like, love that painting. But anyway, I think it's important to have, you know, dead relatives on the walls. You know, just to remember where you came from. And also that you'll be dead, too. It's a good feeling.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Do you have any dead relatives of the walls?

[B]

I come from a long family of artists.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

So not long, but not a long. Just.

[A]

They're all very long. They all do well.

[B]

Come from a very tall family. My grandmother.

[A]

A long line of artists.

[B]

Yeah. That is what I meant to say. Thank you. But actually, that's not even necessarily true. Just me, my grandparents. But my grandma and my granddad were both artists. So I have lots of their artwork, which is maybe even more them. You know what I mean?

[A]

Completely. Do you know your great grandparents?

[B]

No.

[A]

Don't you think I find that a very relaxing thought?

[B]

What, that I didn't know them?

[A]

The fact that you don't know who your great grandparents like much about them or who they are or maybe even some names. Right.

[B]

Why is that relaxing? That's interesting to me.

[A]

It's relaxing because it was so recent. It was like, you know, if you think of, like, the whole of time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And how long, like, people might have been around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your great grandparents were around so recently in that respect.

[B]

And they're already forgotten.

[A]

And they're already forgotten. Don't you feel that's quite relaxing?

[B]

Well, I do feel particularly anxiety about sort of being remembered, which. So that's not something I think about.

[A]

Perfect. I think you're quite a memorable person.

[B]

Quite memorable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

[A]

So bad news for you. You're already playing it wrong.

[B]

Oh, damn it.

[A]

What? I mean, if you could be remembered for anything, what would you be remembered for?

[B]

You know what? That's. I'm gonna ask that question very honestly.

[A]

No, I like to. Yeah, that'd be great.

[B]

I went to a funeral recently of somebody who is, like, 60, in her 60s.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I wasn't very close to her, so I was sort of observing the funeral in a very. Like.

[A]

You're like an outsider.

[B]

Exactly, yeah. And they're talking about, you know, she's like, super fun, super smiley, super colourful, super friendly, super. Saw these things. I was like, that's what I want. That's what I want them to talk about at my funeral. So.

[A]

So you were, like, making notes basically. Like, originally.

[B]

She was.

[A]

Are you really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're, like, in the funeral, scribbling down. So she was smiling.

[B]

I was like, tom, bring your report. No, but, yeah, I just thought, yeah, I'll be. I'll be that. I'll be that easy.

[A]

So you thought it was quite a good funeral?

[B]

Yeah, well, it was just the wake. I didn't go to the funeral bit, but I accidentally called it the after party.

[A]

Well, it is, it is.

[B]

I know, but it starts disrespectful.

[A]

That's okay. No, it sounds like this person would have.

[B]

Well, exactly. Would have been there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So true. So, yeah, that's what I'll be remembered for. What do you want to be remembered for? These. This podcast.

[A]

This podcast. That'd be it. I don't know, really. I think just.

[B]

Oh, you want to be forgotten? Actually, sorry. It's true.

[A]

Well, I don't know if I want to be forgotten. Oh, I don't really know. Actually, I need to think about that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I suppose in a sense, like, what you want to be remembered for has been engineered already throughout your whole life. It's like I presented them with like a buffet of different memories, as in if they. Whatever they want to remember.

[B]

Yeah. What you're doing in your life is.

[A]

A smorgasbord of memories.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they can just like choose. You're texting the boss now.

[B]

Yeah. Saying, coming back soon.

[A]

What's her boss like?

[B]

Well, she's not my boss, she's my manager. But she's lovely. We get on like a house on fire.

[A]

What. I mean, what do you think about the concept of hierarchy?

[B]

I'm a big fan. Love it. I mean, I feel like. I would say, yeah, you know, not great, but sometimes I think it probably. Probably do need it.

[A]

Do you feel like, I don't know, kind of certain relationships are kind of slightly ruined by the thought that this person has this thing over you a bit. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. But then I suppose what I would say is that maybe in all relationships there's a sort of power dynamic happening. Anyway, I like it.

[A]

It's a very good answer.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, it's very good.

[B]

Yeah. And maybe almost easier in a work dynamic where it's like there is actually we all know what the power dynamic is here, but maybe in like other situations it's harder.

[A]

Yeah. Do you have any relationships in your life that have currently not very good power dynamics that you don't like?

[B]

Not very good power dynamics.

[A]

And you just mentioned power dynamics, but kind of.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm wondering if that's the same as just dynamics. I like your socks, by the way.

[A]

Oh, thank you very much.

[B]

Yeah, there probably are some. They're definitely relationship. In my life, I'd like to adjust the power dynamics of, but I couldn't sort of give you a pinpoint answer, I suppose. What about you?

[A]

I think I enjoy all the dynamics that are currently involved in all my different relationships.

[B]

Wow, that's really good.

[A]

You know, I like ones that are always a bit of a battle. You know, I've got a friend who's got always a great technique of when he's feeling tired, he always says to the other person, oh, you're looking a bit tired. It's very clever because it kind of like immediately puts someone on the back foot and it's very clever because straight away People are just instantly thinking, oh no, I look tired. Forgetting the fact that he actually is the one that's tired. And so that's like a power dynamic, a momentary power dynamic where they. This person particularly kind of dominates. The last time it happened I said actually I know you're, you know, you want me to be on the same level as you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's like, yeah, I do actually.

[B]

Okay, so do you think you might have put an end to his still?

[A]

Oh, absolutely not. Because it's a fantastic, it's a fantastic system. I mean obviously try it with someone, try it with a light hearted person. I'm sounding a bit mean here. I'm someone that is done to me rather than I did to someone else.

[B]

Yeah, you want to get revenge.

[A]

But yeah, I quite enjoy when it's done to me. I'm like, oh, that's quite clever. And it kind of works every time. Yeah, it's quite wise. Are you, are you a good friend?

[B]

I'm obsessed with being a good friend, which doesn't really. Good friend. Well A, it's not for me.

[A]

You don't necessarily carry it. Okay.

[B]

And B, yeah, I don't sometimes that stops me being a good friend. But I, it would be, yeah, it would be awful to me if I found out that all my friends thought I was a bad friend. You know what I mean?

[A]

They all got together and it's like.

[B]

Yeah, you know, formed a committee.

[A]

What would you say is the most extreme friendship thing you have done?

[B]

I would say my. You've heard about love languages. Very. You know my love language would be like. Would be quality time and it would also be remembering things. Like I'm quite good at remembering so my way of showing like love and care would be like, oh hi Tom, hope your interview today went well. I'm not doing a lot there but I like will have banked that, that you said that last week that your interview is tomorrow and I will sort of check in about that. That's how I show my care is like a remembering thing rather than a big, a big show of like buying.

[A]

Them a massive bouquet or something or camping outside their house.

[B]

Yeah, I think that might be too far.

[A]

It's more just memory.

[B]

Yeah, most. Just the old.

[A]

I think oddly I was actually, I was actually gonna ask this question. Maybe you're gonna be my first person I'm gonna ask this question to. I'm really interested in the really boring things that people remember. Even though it has absolutely no kind of merit, it's not particularly powerful or even memorable. Like there's nothing about it but you have remembered it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you got any moment where you can. Can you think back to like something really mundane? Does that make any sense? Does that make sense of the question? Is that an okay question?

[B]

I just. Now it's literally as you're saying now. So instantly my mind.

[A]

You've forgotten everything.

[B]

Yeah. I've never experienced a single thing. It's hard because it's like if I'm trying to think about something that I remember, then that's a memorable thing probably, isn't it? Can it just be quite recently? I mean, I could just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I remember yesterday I went to the garden at the top of the south park and I said to my friend that she was wearing the same purple as the flowers. And I said it. She was like, yeah, cool, perfect. I remember that.

[A]

I love. That's the kind of. That is the kind of little gentle Monday memory that I like.

[B]

Is that what you meant?

[A]

Yeah, I just like, just. I just. I think the purple's fine. That's. We're run with the purple.

[B]

I always remember lots of things about my manager and she's always like, you absolute freak. I can tell you that she really likes orange tulips. But I banked that because I thought.

[A]

Birthday maybe when you say you're banking it, like actually works. Does you do that? Are you like, I'm banking it?

[B]

Well, I actually have a memory as a child of being in a fairground or something as like sort of five or six. And I remember being like, I'm going to remember this.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Because it was so. I think it was so wonderful. I think it was so excited and I was so like, I'm gonna.

[A]

So you kind of told yourself, I will remember this.

[B]

But I then I don't.

[A]

Manifested. Manifested memory. Is that a thing?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But then I doubt. I don't. It's like, did that even happen? Like maybe that. Maybe I'm getting two things mixed up.

[A]

Let's say. Let's say that happened.

[B]

Yeah, let's say it.

[A]

Do you ever like what you say? When was the last time you liked what you said?

[B]

Oh, all the time.

[A]

All the time. When did you realize that you were quite. Kind of.

[B]

When I was great. When I realised I was great. Pretty early on. That actually reminds me. Have you seen Fleabag?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The conversation that Fleabag has with the male actor or model that she's dating and then they have this very serious conversation. She's like, when did you realize that you were really good looking and he's like, I think about 11 certain aunties started to get a bit weird. It's a really funny scene. When did I realize I was really great? Yeah. Always known it. Always known it.

[A]

Is anything missing from the greatness? What are we lacking?

[B]

Lots of things.

[A]

Can we say what they are?

[B]

Oh, yeah, That's a very negative question. I'm missing a bit of the.

[A]

I mean, I don't think it's necessarily negative and we're like. We're all missing something and also we can do things to alter our lives.

[B]

No, it's true.

[A]

I mean, it's possible.

[B]

What am I missing? I'm missing a bit of. No, actually, that's not true. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. I am great all round. Actually, now I'm thinking about it, I'm 360. The whole total package.

[B]

Because basically what I've been thinking about recently a lot is my extremeness. I think I'm pretty balanced. Rational person. I used to be quite, like, make deals with myself. Like, if you get this job, that's all you need. That's fine. So it doesn't matter that you don't like your flat. Be grateful that you've got this thing. You don't need this other stuff. Like, stop wanting more. Basically, it's kind of quite extreme. This or this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So now I'm trying to be a bit more. Like, you can have lots of things. Like, we can't have everything all the time, but, like, we can have the royal. We. Like, I can have. Yeah. Could be, like, open to some more stuff. That makes sense. Getting lots of blank looks.

[A]

I mean, is that what the mind looks like inside there? Is this what happens? I feel like you're talking like you're talking to two. Like those two of you and you need to talk to each other. Is that a good read?

[B]

Yeah, I definitely talk to myself a lot. Don't you talk to yourself?

[A]

Yeah, to an extent.

[B]

Like, I'll really be. I'll really parrot myself. I'll really be like, come on, whatever.

[A]

Your name is, let's do this and this.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you know, it's fine.

[A]

We can. Who are the voices? So one's a parent.

[B]

Yeah. And the other one is, I guess, probably child being like that.

[A]

CHILD AND PARENT CHUCKLE and auntie. We chuckled. An auntie.

[B]

They get weird after 11.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it's lots of aunties coming up today.

[A]

Who knows why?

[B]

Who knows why?

[A]

Just that feeling.

[B]

It's just an auntie feeling.

[A]

What do you feel about. Talk about extremes. Like, have you got any other extremes? You Want go and, like, pursue. Have you gotten like, oh, I would just do that, you know, if the parent self wasn't in there. If the parent self went on holiday and you're like.

[B]

But the thing is, I don't even have those, like, desires.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not, like, dying to do a line of coke at work.

[A]

And this afternoon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What can we conceive this afternoon that.

[B]

You can do, like. No, I can't even. I'm so boring. I wouldn't be able to even tell you what the extreme is.

[A]

I've got. Can I call him a friend? I think I can. No, he will never listen to this. I've got a friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's a bit of a sociopath.

[B]

Oh, cool.

[A]

But that is kind of. It really works. And he kind of does stuff that just has. No, it really works. He does stuff that has no particular rhyme or reason. And I really like that. So, for instance, I was talking to his girlfriend and I was like, what's it like being with this person? And she's like, well, yeah, the other day I just was going into, like, work, whatever, and realized that he had put a potato in my pocket.

[B]

No.

[A]

And then it's just like, he just done that. There's no thinking behind that. I think he's just like, I'm just gonna put a little potato in her pocket.

[B]

And what did you feel? How do you feel about that?

[A]

Well, I personally quite like that. I like that. You know, actually, if you think about it, we can do some amazing, bizarre things that aren't going to hurt anyone. They're really going to get people thinking or maybe they might even, like, really boost their morale. And the reason is you don't have a reason. You're just expressing yourself and doing something for the sake of doing it.

[B]

Yeah. I like what you said about it being, like, bizarre. Like, I'm into the bizarreness. I think what would irk me about that story is, like, the potato one, you mean? Yeah. Is like, the perceived randomness and, like, quirkiness of that.

[A]

No, I see what you mean. I mean, this person is just that.

[B]

They just not like that.

[A]

Could I ask a question for you?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

What's the biggest thing that has happened? Wait for it. Around you, not to you.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. I feel like I have to think about this.

[A]

You can think about it.

[B]

I can't think of.

[A]

The cogs are churning.

[B]

Yeah, they really are churning. Biggest thing that's around.

[A]

It'S some kind of.

[B]

I've seen somebody die. Is that a big thing to happen around me?

[A]

That is.

[B]

Is that true?

[A]

Can you tell me about that?

[B]

I can't. It was at my grandma's funeral and an old woman just keeled over and died. And we didn't really know who she was or what to do, and it was a bit weird.

[A]

I want to know more. I mean, that's. That's a great. So you're already at your grandma's funeral.

[B]

Yeah. So everyone's already gathered. She got lowered into the ground and my dad said, the Sabbath's over now. Let's be happy or something.

[A]

Famous last words.

[B]

And then I went to the toilet. Come back out, woman on the ground. Someone's doing CPR for ages. The coroner has to come to make sure because it's, like, suspicious.

[A]

Why was she there?

[B]

Because she knew my grandma, but, like, we didn't know her and she'd been ill, but she wanted to come to the theateral. She's obviously right. Lovely. But. Yes. You sort of, like, wonder if anyone.

[A]

Died at her funeral.

[B]

Well, I know it could have been a whole Midsummer Murders. It was in the countryside as well, so it was quite kind of, you know.

[A]

I mean, that is classic Midsummer Murders fair as well.

[B]

Truly. Truly. And you don't know what to do. There's nothing you can do. So you just sort of keep drinking the Prosecco and sort of eating the canopies and sort of.

[A]

So do you remember your reaction to this? Sound like you were quite relaxed about it.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, I don't know. It's now just sort of the family law, so it's like kind of as in L O R E, something we just have to do.

[A]

No one's going to want to die.

[B]

In your family, so it's like, hard to. It's just so. It's. So.

[A]

The picture I'm getting is, yeah, so someone's killed over.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cpr, you've got a Prosecco.

[B]

But just because there's lots of people there.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's not just me.

[A]

Was your grandmother, like, celebrated enough by this point or was there a sense of like, yes, guys, come on. We've got like.

[B]

But it was slightly.

[A]

She's not the main event.

[B]

Yeah, well, that was. That is kind of the feeling. Yeah. It's like, you know, you have one day that you think it's going to.

[A]

Be my special day here. Someone's popped in and popped out.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. Yeah.

[A]

That's a good one, though, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good answer.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Well done.

[B]

Cheers.

[A]

Okay, last question, then. You can Go back to the office.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You can answer this either mundanely or grandly. Whatever you fancy. Okay. What are you going to do next?

[B]

Great question. Shall I think what your first question was now?

[A]

First question was, what's your first favorite day of the week? Seems like a long time ago now.

[B]

It does seem like a long time ago now. I have that effect on people. What are we gonna do next? Next, I'm gonna drink some water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you gonna do next?

[A]

I think I'm gonna have to go and pick up my child from school.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

It's tempting to try and fit in another interview. But I think this one's tied you up. This is. This actually be quite exhausting. No, but in a good way. I do mean that in a positive way, though. Some people just, like, have got a very, like, contained everything. Whereas you are, you know, you're more kind of Jackson Pollock, you know?

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

No, in a really good way.

[B]

Well, he was great.

[A]

Yeah. It's more everywhere. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is actually very entertaining. So all great.

[B]

Good. I'm glad.

[A]

Well done.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'll turn it off now.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

God, I love funeral I sit there taking notes on how I want my friends to talk about me when I go God, I love a fun funeral I hope I have one someday. Throw one last after party say things you wouldn't say to my face Remember me for my memory for the things I never would let go Remember orange tulips on your desk on Friday Waterloo and the lilacs matched your gold Batting my eye for the printer guy who sings Christmas songs in mid July Remember me for I tried but couldn't help but hum along God, I love funeral it inspires me each day Speak of me in color as you sit in black and gray Every day the guests this list could get longer if you tried Everywhere a friendship if you open up your mind Remember me for my memory for the things I never would let go Remember me if you like or forget me I don't mind It's a comforting suggestion all my worries with me die.