EPISODE 26: £5 Bread and Concussion

Summary

Podcast Summary: Strangers on a Bench – EPISODE 26: £5 Bread and Concussion

Release Date: March 10, 2025
Host: Tom Rosenthal
Guest: Anonymous Stranger

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Introduction

In Episode 26 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal, a singer-songwriter, continues his unique experiment of engaging in intimate, candid conversations with anonymous strangers in London’s parks. This episode, titled "£5 Bread and Concussion," delves deep into the guest's personal life, hobbies, challenges, and reflections on cultural identity.

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Choosing the Perfect Day: Saturday Over Thursday

The conversation kicks off with Tom inquiring about the guest’s favorite day of the week. The guest enthusiastically chooses Saturday over Thursday, explaining the nuances that make Saturdays more appealing.

Guest [00:54]: "Saturday. Before Saturday came, were there any others near?"

Guest [01:07]: "I usually have fun plans on a Thursday... But then Saturday, the week actually is over and you can just spend all day doing fun things, not just the evening."

This preference highlights the guest's desire for a full day of relaxation and activities, contrasting with the midweek responsibilities associated with Thursdays.

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An Ideal Saturday: A Day of Balance and Adventure

When prompted to describe an ideal Saturday, the guest paints a vivid picture of a balanced day filled with simple pleasures and adventurous activities.

Guest [01:32]: "I wake up, have a coffee on my balcony, go to the farmer's market with my housemate, buy some things, maybe go climbing with a friend... maybe go out for a nice dinner somewhere central. Go watch a show, come back home."

This itinerary emphasizes a blend of tranquility, social interaction, and physical activity, showcasing the guest's multifaceted interests.

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Climbing: Beyond the Physical Challenge

Climbing emerges as a significant hobby for the guest, serving as both a social outlet and a metaphor for personal growth.

Guest [02:18]: "I almost always go with friends. It's a social thing. I like that it's like problem solving on a wall... it helps me think about things like, okay, I can't do this yet... it's clear progression."

Climbing not only offers physical exercise but also reinforces patience, resilience, and strategic thinking, reflecting the guest's approach to overcoming life's obstacles.

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Facing Adversity: The Impact of a Concussion

The conversation takes a poignant turn as the guest shares their recent struggle with a concussion sustained from climbing. This unexpected setback has significantly affected their daily life and cognitive functions.

Guest [03:57]: "The reason I'm here... I'm actually slightly concussed from going climbing... I can't look at my screen... I just need to take way more rests than I usually do... it's really hard because it's really isolating."

This candid admission highlights the guest's vulnerability and the challenges of adapting to a new reality where simple tasks become arduous.

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The Overwhelming Nature of Modern Screens

Delving deeper, the guest reflects on the pervasive fatigue caused by screen usage, something often taken for granted until faced with its debilitating effects.

Guest [05:56]: "Things are a lot more tiring than I realized. I thought, oh, I'll just do a puzzle and listen to a podcast. It was way too much for me right now."

This realization underscores the hidden toll digital screens take on mental and physical well-being, prompting a necessary reconsideration of daily habits.

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Shaping Identity: The Power of Reading and Upbringing

Tom steers the conversation towards the guest's personal development, revealing the profound influence of a reading-rich household.

Host [06:48]: "How did you become who you are?"

Guest [08:22]: "All of my family are really big readers. I've just read lots of books... But there's lots of other lives out there. I want to try different ways of living."

The guest attributes their broad awareness and curiosity about diverse lifestyles to the extensive reading habits cultivated during childhood, fostering an open-minded and exploratory nature.

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Cultural Exchange: A Transformative Experience in Texas

At 15, the guest participated in a high school exchange program in Texas, an experience that profoundly impacted their worldview and cultural identity.

Guest [10:27]: "My host family was very religious, and I was raised atheist. They hoped I would convert, but I didn't."

This immersion into a contrasting religious environment challenged the guest's beliefs and underscored the complexities of cultural assimilation and personal conviction.

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Reminiscing Memories: The Personalized Bible Gift

A standout memory from the Texas exchange was receiving a personalized Bible, an attempt by the host family to influence the guest's belief system.

Guest [11:46]: "They gave me a Bible with my name on it... I just couldn't give it to you."

This moment encapsulates the tension between the guest's personal beliefs and the host family's intentions, leaving a lasting impression of cultural and religious divergence.

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Navigating National Identity and Historical Legacy

The guest delves into the lingering effects of Germany's WWII legacy on contemporary society, discussing the resurgence of far-right ideologies and national guilt.

Guest [24:30]: "There's been a big rise in the far right in Germany... People are still being prosecuted for things from the Second World War... It's challenging to think of Germany as a military country."

This reflection connects personal identity with broader national narratives, highlighting how historical consciousness shapes modern political and social landscapes.

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Work and Office Culture: Balancing Professional Life

Shifting focus, the guest shares insights into their work life, particularly the dynamics of hybrid office environments.

Guest [14:35]: "Most offices are hybrid now, so there's less of having to look busy because when you're at home, you don't need to bother."

The guest appreciates the flexibility of hybrid work but also acknowledges the diminishing ritual of appearing busy, pointing to evolving workplace norms.

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Personal Relationships: Embracing New Beginnings

The guest touches on their recent entry into a romantic relationship, expressing excitement while maintaining privacy.

Guest [21:37]: "I just recently got into a relationship... it's quite new... I don't want to jinx it for the world."

This delicate balance between sharing joy and protecting personal intimacy exemplifies the guest's thoughtful approach to relationships.

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Emotional Moments: Tears of Joy Inspired by Simone Biles

Highlighting moments of emotional vulnerability, the guest recounts tearing up while watching a documentary about Simone Biles, reflecting on resilience and inspiration.

Guest [30:15]: "I started tearing up because she's very inspiring... watching her overcome challenges."

This sentiment underscores the power of witnessing triumph over adversity, resonating with the guest's own experiences of overcoming obstacles.

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Closing Reflections: Moving Forward with Gratitude

As the conversation winds down, the guest expresses gratitude for the interaction and outlines their plans to rest and manage work amidst their recovery.

Guest [30:57]: "I'm going to go home, answer some emails, make some lunch, try to stay off screens."

The closing remarks encapsulate a sense of responsibility and self-care, emphasizing the importance of balance during challenging times.

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Conclusion

Episode 26 of "Strangers on a Bench" offers a profound glimpse into the guest’s life, weaving through themes of personal growth, cultural identity, resilience, and the everyday joys and struggles that define human experiences. Tom Rosenthal masterfully facilitates a conversation that is both intimate and universally relatable, inviting listeners to reflect on their own lives and the stories of those around them.

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Notable Quotes:

• Guest [02:18]: "I think more than anything, I almost always go with friends. So it's like a social thing."

• Guest [03:57]: "The only thing I can do is take a break and just do something that completely rests my brain."

• Guest [08:22]: "All of my family are really big readers. I've just read lots of books."

• Guest [24:30]: "There's been a big rise in the far right in Germany... It's really challenging to think of Germany as a military country."

• Guest [30:15]: "I started tearing up because she's very inspiring... watching her overcome challenges."

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of "Strangers on a Bench – EPISODE 26: £5 Bread and Concussion," providing listeners with an engaging overview of the key discussions and insights shared during the episode.

Transcript

[Host]

Hello. Hi. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question?

[Guest]

Go on.

[Host]

I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I sit there to someone I don't know and talk to them for 10 or 15 minutes about life and anything in between. Would you be up for such a thing?

[Guest]

Yeah, sure.

[Host]

Fantastic. What's your favorite day of the week?

[Guest]

Saturday.

[Host]

Little bit of a delay there. Before Saturday came, were there any others near?

[Guest]

It was between Thursday and Saturday.

[Host]

Why did Thursday lose?

[Guest]

Because you have to work on a Thursday.

[Host]

Why did Thursday come close to winning?

[Guest]

I usually have fun plans on a Thursday. So it'll be like work drinks with colleagues or like I'm doing something with a friend and you're like, oh, the week's almost over. But then Saturday, the week actually is over and you can just spend all day doing fun things, not just the evening.

[Host]

Take me through from. We're talking Saturday now. Yeah, Your ideal Saturday. I like detail. Okay, early Saturday, late Saturday, whole Saturday.

[Guest]

Go, Okay, I have a lion and then I wake up, I have a coffee on my balcony, and then I go to the farmer's market with my housemate and we walk through the heath to get there. Have like a nice wander around, buy some things, go back home and then maybe go climbing with a friend. It's probably late afternoon at that point. Go, well, I wouldn't do it every Saturday, but then maybe go out for a nice dinner somewhere central. Go watch a show, come back home.

[Host]

Perfect.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Climbing. Take me through climbing. What is the draw for you for climbing?

[Guest]

I think more than anything, I almost always go with friends. So it's like a social thing. But then I like that it's like problem solving on a wall. You gotta work out where to go, and then you have to be like, oh, this didn't quite work. And so maybe I can do it that way. I also really like that I'm quite an impatient person generally, and it helps me think about things like, okay, I can't do this yet. It doesn't mean I can't do it ever. If I keep practicing and if I'm patient, then it's just clear progression. And I think that's really helpful for me when I can't do something and I'm like, oh, I'm just not good at this. And it's like, no, I'm just not good at it yet.

[Host]

So climbing kind of encapsulates everything that you want to. A way to process life, basically.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah, basically.

[Host]

You mentioned that climbing helps you solve problems. Do you have a problem in your life at the moment that you're trying to solve that you haven't been able to solve?

[Guest]

Ooh, well, that's very personal because you've gone really personal. Like, what's your hobby?

[Host]

I've just gone straight in there. And we could have waited until, you know, the fourth question, but it's a short life, isn't it? Got to get to the good thing. Got to get to the nitty gritty. I mean, we could talk about the weather. It's really nice today. There are a few clouds. It's very nice, like little gentle clouds. Anyway, yeah, let's reverse, reverse back into the maybe slightly personal question. Probably you're looking to solve.

[Guest]

Well, actually the reason I'm here at like 10am on a Thursday is I'm actually slightly concussed at the moment from going climbing ironically. And it just means my brain doesn't work quite the way it usually does. So I kind of. It's been like two weeks and I'm now back to work and I can do like half an hour, an hour at a time, but then I get really fatigued and like can't look at my screen. And then just the only thing I can do is like take a break and just do something that completely rests my brain. So when you came over I was actually like meditating. No, don't worry, I've absolutely ruined it.

[Host]

No, not at all.

[Guest]

And like, I don't, like I'd never really meditated before but it's sort of the only thing that feels like that's just completely resting my brain. But yeah, basically the problem is like, like I said, I'm not very patient and it's just not something that can be solved by trying harder or like putting more effort in. It's literally just when it feels like it's too much. Even when I'm like, well, this shouldn't be too much. Unless she just answered email, that's not something that in like usual life I consider tiring. It all depends on the email. But like usually, yeah, usually I just can sort of work 8 hour days and like go out with a friend and like do something. So at the moment I just need to take way more rests than I usually do and I'm finding it quite hard because it's like really boring and it's really isolating and it's really hard. That feeling of like I just, I'm not who I usually am. Like I'm not really the person that I usually identify as.

[Host]

Yeah, it's particularly difficult not feeling yourself. I'm with you there. There's a few. Couple of questions that sprung to my mind. But when you're feeling like this, when you're feeling kind of fatigued, you can't look at a screen. I wonder what it kind of says about screens. It's like you just can't do it when you're in that kind of zone. So are they really taking so much out of us that we don't really know in normal times?

[Guest]

Yeah. I think what has been interesting now that I'm forced to notice this, it's like the things that actually make you tired versus the things that you think of as tiring a lot more things are a lot more tiring than I realized. I thought, oh, I'll just do a puzzle and listen to a podcast. And I did that for half an hour and was like, this is actually way too much for me right now. Which just usually I'd be like, this is perfect relaxation stuff. Even like going for a walk and listening to music. I just had to be like, I can go for a walk, I can listen to music, but I can't do both at the same time.

[Host]

Another big question, but not too personal. Well, actually, it's quite that at all personal, isn't it? But how did you become who you are?

[Guest]

Do you think that's a big question. Do you know? How did you become who you are?

[Host]

It's always a good way, isn't it? The big question. Just throw it back.

[Guest]

Throw it straight back.

[Host]

Yeah, look, I'll try and answer. If I answer or you answer it.

[Guest]

Okay, that's fair.

[Host]

That's a good deal. I love the deal.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

How did I become who I am? I think one of the crucial things I could think of, my mother was a single mother. She also worked really hard. Thanks, Mum. She's listening. And my mother's always been very good. I had lots of friends, and this meant I was looked after by lots of different people. And I got to spend time with lots of different families from a really early age. And I didn't have any kind of direct allies, you know, I had to rely on myself really quickly and I had to get good at observing what was going around. And I think that kind of formed a lot of my awareness of stuff in life and just how I look at things. What I perceive as the ability to kind of see things fairly clearly around me, especially in the kind of interpersonal way that that was a huge impact in my life. I think that kind of funneled me into a particular place, you know. Is that a good answer?

[Guest]

That's a good answer. That's a very good answer.

[Host]

Fantastic. I'm passing the ball, checking the ball, I've got the ball, I'm throwing it over.

[Guest]

I think a really big thing for me was is that all of my family are like really big readers. And then kind of passed that on to me as well. So I've just kind of read lots of books.

[Host]

Like, I don't know how many.

[Guest]

Usually like a book a week or.

[Host]

Something that's pretty good for your whole life.

[Guest]

Since I could learn how to read. Yeah.

[Host]

Thousands probably.

[Guest]

Yeah, thousands, yeah. And I think, yeah, I think like in my high school, I'm from Germany and we had like a reunion the other day and I went back and I was the only one who'd moved abroad. And I think there's like lots of things that contribute to that. Like my older sister moved abroad as well. My older brother moved abroad as well. But I think a big part of it is when you read a lot, you're just like, this is my life and this is sort of how I experience life. But there's lots of other lives out there. I like lots of other ways of living life. So after high school it's like, okay, I want to try a different culture, like different way of living. I mean, not that German UK are that different, like fundamentally very similar cultures. But I think reading lots of different types of books, you get to dip into how another person experiences the world. And that kind of like, okay, I want to try out a couple of different lives and like, see which one I like best. And I think that's been a big part of shaping who I am.

[Host]

Interesting. So kind of reading gave you, would you say the confidence or the awareness to look around?

[Guest]

I think the awareness more than anything. Yeah.

[Host]

And so you've tried. I like this idea of trying on different lives.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

What life are you trying on at the moment?

[Guest]

At the moment I'm trying on the North London life of buying five pound bread from your local bakery and going to the farmers market on Saturdays and meditating in the heath. It's a pretty good life.

[Host]

Did you try on any lives previously that didn't work?

[Guest]

When I was 15, I went to a high school exchange program and I lived in Texas for six months. And that was a very, very different life. My host family was really, really kind, really welcoming, but they were also very religious. And like, my parents were atheists. I just wasn't raised religious. And they were kind of from a Place of like, they want to save me from hell. And like we would go to church every week and I was super happy to come along because I was like this, you know, a social thing, but I think I didn't realize it's more like introducing me to kind of Christianity and religion. And I think they kind of thought once they kind of show me this sort of slightly different belief system that I would, I guess, convert. And like, I just didn't. I don't know, looking back, I'm like, I'm surprised it didn't work because you kind of. I was very immersed in like the whole community and space. But I would say that's maybe a life that didn't work for me. The kind of. Yeah.

[Host]

What an amazing thing to do as a 15 year old.

[Guest]

Yeah, that's pretty intense. Yeah.

[Host]

Like you're shoved into a Texan family. Obviously not in your like mother tongue. Yeah, well, that's, that's, that's a lot to take it. I mean, was it. I mean, can you think of an abiding memory from that trip? Like any kind of standout moments?

[Guest]

I think I remember one time they invited a priest that they were friends with and they like gave me a Bible with my name on it. As in name like, like, like my name like printed on it, etched into the book, etched into the COVID And the like, priest was telling me lots of sort of different stories from the Bible. And me sitting there and being like, I know you want something for me and I like you and I want to give it to you, but I just can't give it to you.

[Host]

Have you still got that Bible?

[Guest]

No, I don't.

[Host]

So someone's got a Bible with your name on it?

[Guest]

Yeah, probably. I don't actually know what happened to that. I think I did take it back to Germany, but then. Yeah, I don't know what happened to it.

[Host]

What did you find interesting about kind of Texan culture? What struck you? What was what? Did anything stay with you? Oh, you know what. Oh yeah, I like to, I like to remember that or do that.

[Guest]

Bigger is better. That was the thing.

[Host]

Bigger is better.

[Guest]

Look at everything that. The cars, huge. The houses, huge. High school is huge. And yeah, the food. Everything's just big. That's the main thing.

[Host]

How do you feel about having a job? What's that like?

[Guest]

Love having a job?

[Host]

Imagine I was eight years old.

[Guest]

Yeah, it's great having a job.

[Host]

Why would you think having a job is good?

[Guest]

Because you get money and you can spend it on whatever you want.

[Host]

Like really expensive bread.

[Guest]

Really expensive. Like, that's the great thing. It's just when someone else gives you money, you can't spend it on five pound bread, right? Because it's like, that's a stupid thing to spend your money on. But it's your own money. It's like, I don't care. I'm going to spend it on stupid things. And it's not even irresponsible because it's just my own money and I can do whatever I want with it. So that's. Yeah, I love having a job. It's good because you get to learn new things. I mean, obviously I'm lucky that, like my job. I feel like I get to learn new things every day.

[Host]

You go to an office.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

Would you say you're an office expert now?

[Guest]

Can anyone be an office as much as anyone can be an office expert? Yes.

[Host]

Well, I mean, you know, you go to a place, you learn the rhymes and the reasons of an office life, though.

[Guest]

I think so. Yeah. I think I am, like. I think so.

[Host]

You know when to bring out the cake. Yeah, I. I actually haven't. I haven't really worked in office. I'm just making this up.

[Guest]

No, no, you are.

[Host]

You are there. I was like, do you. Do you ever have to look busy? And how do you do that if you were.

[Guest]

I think these days, not so much because most offices are hybrid, so you only go in once or twice a week. So there's less of, like, having to look busy because when you're at home, you don't need to bother.

[Host]

That'd be so sad if it carried on.

[Guest]

Yeah, I know. You sit by yourself in your living room, the shuffling, just opening axle and closing axle.

[Host]

What's the most dramatic thing that's happened in an office that you've been in?

[Guest]

Honestly, it's not an exciting environment. So I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to dig deep for this.

[Host]

I've already asked this question to a couple of office people who I've done this with. I'm just desperate for someone to have something exciting or scandalous. You know, could someone just start chucking stuff around, I don't know, smash a computer. Someone picked up a computer and smashed it.

[Guest]

Honestly, usually like, oh, the disabled toilet is broken again. Like, that's usually like, that's honestly, like the most exciting thing that happens.

[Host]

Maybe make it a mission to do something really dramatic.

[Guest]

Yeah, maybe. Like my last week, when I, like, I know I'm gonna quit anyway, bring.

[Host]

In a big sculpture and you just put it on your desk?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Everyone's like, why have they put a sculpture on their desk? It would be that kind of thing, you know, just to. Just to get people talking. Get people a little something to talk about. You have a tattoo.

[Guest]

I do.

[Host]

Of a. I've just noticed it of a polar bear.

[Guest]

It is, it's actually new. I only got it a few weeks ago.

[Host]

Oh, amazing.

[Guest]

Yeah, it's actually from a book. It's from. Do you know Philip Pullman's his Dark Material books?

[Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest]

It was like my favorite series as a kid. And this is the bear, Urik Bernison I think is what he's called. And I, yeah, got him to two the other day.

[Host]

Is this before you got a cuss or after?

[Guest]

Before.

[Host]

I'm just telling you why you made me lose the decision.

[Guest]

No, no, no, it was before. It was before I was in full. What's it called? Like I had full capacity Cosmetics. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host]

That could be. Could have been your scandalous office moment. Someone's got a tattoo in the office.

[Guest]

It's actually really common. Like there's like people who are like covered in head to toe with tattoos. It's like. Yeah, it's like I told my manager the week before I was going to get it and her immediate reaction was just like, amazing. Can't wait to see it. So it's not super exciting anymore these days.

[Host]

What's it like having a manager?

[Guest]

Good. I mean, it depends on the manager.

[Host]

What makes her a good manager?

[Guest]

She's really like emotionally intelligent. So she's very good at noticing when.

[Host]

I'm looking stressed and if someone's crying.

[Guest]

In the corner, she picks up on those really subtle clues. No, she's just like, really? I don't know. I feel like I like her as a person, which helps.

[Host]

Do you want to be a manager? What do you want to be?

[Guest]

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. You know, I don't know. Like, does anyone know what they want to be?

[Host]

My father always had a good thing which round a dinner table, he would always ask a question of the oldest person there. Yeah, 40, 60, whatever. They go, you know, Bob, what do you want to be when you grow up? It should really be asked of everybody, rather directed at poor children who are actually the last people ask. They're busy getting on with their lives.

[Guest]

I know, like most 25 year olds don't know. Like, how do you know it's a five year old?

[Host]

Like, yeah, do you think about it.

[Guest]

A Lot what I want to be.

[Host]

Yeah. Or like, just, you know, where your paths are headed.

[Guest]

Not that much. Like, I think when you, like, have an accent and, like, you're obviously not from the country that you live in, people often ask you, are you planning to go back? So then are you planning to go back? But no, not in, like, go back to where you came from. Just like, oh, like, cool. Like, how long have you been here? Are you planning to move back? Not in a xenophobic way. It doesn't. Like a friendly conversation way.

[Host]

What's it like being a German in England?

[Guest]

Oh, it's good. It's great. London especially, I really like, because everyone moves here, so it's just whether you're an immigrant or not, it's just the fifth most interesting about you. It's like, people don't kind of categorize you based on that, which I. Which I really like.

[Host]

Do you have any fundamental issues with Germany itself? I mean, as in, was it just excitement to be.

[Guest]

No. Germany.

[Host]

You were like, oh, Germany. It's not for me, you know.

[Guest]

No, not at all. I think Germany living is cheaper. Like, it's just like, healthcare systems. Yeah, it's just like healthcare systems way better funded. It's just like, the education system is so much better. Stay. If anything, I'm often, like, issue with the uk. No, Germany's great. I just. Yeah, like I said, just wanted an adventure.

[Host]

Oh, well, I have some German ancestry.

[Guest]

Do you?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

How far back?

[Host]

My grandmother.

[Guest]

Oh, wait, I'm scared to ask. Did you come here doing the Correct.

[Host]

Before the war.

[Guest]

Okay. Before the war. Okay.

[Host]

And she met my grandfather in Cambridge who had come from Slovakia, and they both made their journeys. Yeah. So I've always. I've always felt a connection.

[Guest]

Have you been.

[Host]

Yeah, many times.

[Guest]

Cool.

[Host]

Yeah, I've been there to sing songs. Really?

[Guest]

Oh, do you. Are you, like, a choir or.

[Host]

No, I just. I sing. I just sing. Why am I. I suppose I'm a songwriter, singer, songwriter person.

[Guest]

It's really cool. It's like, you know, it's scary putting yourself out there.

[Host]

So this is true. It is scary putting yourself out there. Do you wish you put yourself out there more?

[Guest]

Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. I think when you came over, I was like, do I say yes? Do I say yes to this? But then I was like, ultimately, it seems pretty low risk, but famous last words.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

So.

[Host]

Yeah. How would you get yourself out there more then?

[Guest]

I'm not sure I do. Not sure I do. I'm not sure. I'm trying very hard. I Think at work. I do more. Like, I'll try. Like, leaving more things, trying out more things. It's not an exciting answer. It just looks like my performance review. It's just like, what do you like in your manager? It's just like, how do you put yourself out there more?

[Host]

The podcast becoming a performance review.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

How do we. What's the question? Which is very un. Performance review.

[Guest]

Like, I don't know.

[Host]

Are you in love?

[Guest]

Am I in love? Oh, that's too big a question.

[Host]

Is it?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Why is it a big question?

[Guest]

Because I just recently got into a relationship, so.

[Host]

Okay, I see. What is it like to newly get into. To be in a new stage of a relationship? Is that a better question?

[Guest]

Still. Still a very big question. You know, they might listen to this.

[Host]

They might. I mean, if it's praise, that's okay.

[Guest]

No, yeah. No. It's like, I've got nothing negative to say. It's like, it's quite new. So you don't want to, like, put it out there and jinx it for the world, too.

[Host]

Can we have a little bit something?

[Guest]

No, it's too personal.

[Host]

Oh, can I ask one more question about it to see if that helps?

[Guest]

You can ask.

[Host]

Are you excited about it?

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

[Host]

What percentage of your day do you spend thinking about this new.

[Guest]

We gotta move on. We gotta move on to a new topic.

[Host]

Sorry. Yeah, I will move on. So I'm just so naughty. Just that I said something I wanted to know more. I know. I know I shouldn't. Are there any questions you'd like to ask your parents that you haven't asked them or anything you'd like to discuss with them?

[Guest]

Lots. I feel like I do. I feel like I do talk to them, you know? I feel like I do.

[Host]

What's been the best bit of parenting that any of your parents have done in your life, do you think the most meaningful kind of action they've taken.

[Guest]

They would, like, read to me every night before bed for, like, years and years now. I'm just. I'm an adult. I'm like, you must have been exhausted doing that every night for years after working all day and, like, trying to convince me to, like, eat my dinner, do my homework and then do that.

[Host]

Do you remember that the last time?

[Guest]

No, I don't.

[Host]

It's always sad, isn't it? The thing with parenting, there's often a last time, and you actually just don't realise it's the last time. Which is probably good because it's. You did you'd be really sad a lot. You know, this is the last time you're going to read to your child, enjoy it. You know, you just go around crying the whole time.

[Guest]

Yeah, it's true.

[Host]

Can I ask you a potentially, potentially awkward question? But I just feel like I want to ask it, but again, feel free to just bat it away in much the way you did very well. To me, relentlessly trying to figure out more about your fledgling relationship. We touched upon it before my grandmother was in Germany and fled Germany for obvious reasons before the war. Like, is there a kind of. To what extent do you feel that there is? Like, how much does it hang over modern Germany?

[Guest]

Oh, a lot. Yeah, a lot. It's like this big national guild that's passed on. I mean, I haven't lived there for many years now and I think since I left there's been a big rise in, like, the far right and we've got such dodgy links to that kind of ideology. And I remember when I was a teenager living in Germany, that was just like, unimaginable that that kind of political movement would get any kind of traction because it felt like there was so much awareness and, like, people are still being prosecuted today for things they did during the Second World War. And it felt like every year there was like a new book, a new TV show, a nude memorial being on Wales. So I think the conversation's probably moved on a bit since I left and I think I'm kind of out of the loop now. But it's a very interesting, like, coming to the UK because it's such a positive connotations around the Second World War. It's like we went over and like, we had this great mentality during the Blitz and it's just also very big part of public imagination, but in the completely opposite way, which makes sense. But, yeah, no, I think at least when I left it was still like a big part. And when the Ukraine war happened as well, I think Germany got a lot of criticism for not having enough, not just financial but military support, but I think in the national consciousness it's like Germany is not a military country. It's like, it's really challenging, like, mental shift to think of Germany as a country that could have an army, like, could play an active part of it.

[Host]

So in a sense that kind of awakens thoughts of the history when you have to.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah. No, but I think it's definitely like a big, big part of public consciousness.

[Host]

Like, do you know what your. I don't know what it would have to have been grandparents. Great grandparents were doing during the wars.

[Guest]

They do. Because actually, my grandparents aren't German because my parents aren't German either. They're Dutch, so they were starving. That's what they were doing in the Dutch. Hunger.

[Host]

Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. So do you think this, like. Do you think what you describe as kind of like a national guilt?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Can you kind of track a path from, like, that guilt, you know, your own, like, upbringing or. Or even just life? Do you mean as in growing up in Germany And I think so, because.

[Guest]

It is interesting because my grandparents were on the other side of the wall, but it didn't really change because, like, the culture that I identified with was German. So it was just like. Even though my family history was, like, very different, it seeped into my upbringing for sure. Oh, it's hard, though, because I think it's like.

[Host]

Sadness, sad, crying child. Did you cry, by the way, when you fell off the thing?

[Guest]

I did not cry.

[Host]

Did you kind of want to, or.

[Guest]

No, it was actually like, the least dramatic fall, and it was more embarrassing than anything because I was just like. I had both legs really high up and I just, like, tipped backwards. And so I sort of just like, fell on my back and then my head snapped back. But I think it just looked more comical than anything else because I did this very slow fall from not very great heights and just got back up and kept climbing for the rest of the session. And only the next day was, like, interesting. It's really hard to look at a screen and I have a headache and I have stiff neck. I wonder what that is. Yeah, I don't know. It's a big question, like, the guilt thing, because I think you never really know, like, when people are like, oh, friends back home are like, oh, what was it like to study in the uk? I'm like, well, I don't know. Like, I never was going to uni in Germany, so don't know what the alternative would have been. So I think it's really hard to be like, it's that specific thing compared to something else. It's like, as they say in statistics, you don't have the counterfactual. You know, what's the A. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Host]

Counterfactual.

[Guest]

Counterfactual. It's the. It's a unnecessarily pretentious way of talking about it. It's the what the alternative reality would have been.

[Host]

How I. Would you like this question to be if 10 is heavy and one is light. Okay, what would you like on the light? Pick a number.

[Guest]

Like a. Like a three.

[Host]

You've had enough of the big one. Three. Three. One. Can you describe what we can see in front of us and how that makes you feel? That's a good three, isn't it? That's a nice three.

[Guest]

It's a very nice three. Okay. You can see a lot of the London skyline, and I can see a lot of trees, and I can see a lot of dogs and, like, walkers and couples and people reading books. And this is, like, my happy place when I want to, like, relax. I'm feeling stressed. This is where I come. It makes me happy to think about how easily I can get into London and do all the things I can do there, but also all of the green space and the sort of people who just live around here and use this park and everything about it just makes me happy. It's just like a really, really nice, nice space to be.

[Host]

Good answer pronouncement. Question time. When was the last time you cried? Tears of joy.

[Guest]

Tears of joy. Ooh, like, three weeks ago. I was watching the Simone Biles documentary and just kind of started tearing up a little bit because just she's very inspiring. And I think I watched it and then I watched her, like, a recording of her, like, Olympic gold performance. And then I think I tore up as I was, like, watching her win gold after, like, watching documentary about all of the challenges that she's, like, overcome in her life. That's the last time.

[Host]

Good answer. She had a great arc there.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host]

Okay, last question. Okay, what are you going to do next?

[Guest]

I'm gonna go home and answer some emails.

[Host]

There's gonna be loads of them.

[Guest]

Yeah. Because I didn't mean to take such a long break. And if anyone from work listens to this, I'm going to. I'm going to do some more work today. No, no, it's not good. So, yeah, just going to go home, answer some emails, make some lunch, try to stay off screens.

[Host]

Fantastic. Thank you so much.

[Guest]

No problem at all.

[C]

Imagining maps on the wall all of the figures I've drawn Finding lives and trying them on Walking with you on.

[Guest]

The heath.

[C]

Life with a Texan priest I have picked some and some have picked me Falling backwards My head hurts Never saw this for me I'm the office expert Releasing the grip can't be the driver Claim control where I can Buying bread for a five City sourdough bread bought for a fiver.