EPISODE 3: I Threw My Phone in the Pond - Strangers on a Bench

Summary4 min read

Episode 3: I Threw My Phone in the Pond – Detailed Summary

Strangers on a Bench Episode 3, titled "I Threw My Phone in the Pond," features an intimate conversation between host Tom Rosenthal and an elderly man whom he encounters on a London park bench. Over the course of their interaction, they explore themes such as the impact of technology on daily life, reflections on childhood, the challenges of aging, and personal philosophies on life and death. This summary delves into the key discussions, insights, and poignant moments from their dialogue.

1. Introduction and First Impressions

The episode begins with Tom approaching an elderly man sitting alone on a park bench. Tom introduces himself and explains his podcast's premise—engaging with strangers to uncover their stories without revealing personal details like names or occupations.

Notable Quote:

Tom Rosenthal [00:10]: "It's called Strangers on a Bench. And the idea is I talk to people I don't know."

The elderly man expresses some initial hesitation, primarily due to hearing difficulties, but he remains open to the conversation.

2. Daily Life and Technology Frustrations

A significant portion of their discussion centers around the elderly man's frustrations with modern technology, particularly mobile phones. He nostalgically recalls enjoying quiet moments, such as watching the countryside from a train, which have been disrupted by the pervasive use of smartphones.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [02:20]: "I can't do it anymore because people traveling on National Rail and so on... they have no one minute rest PA papa on the bloody mobile all the time. So it's horrible."

Tom inquires about his favorite train journeys, leading the man to lament how the serenity of travel has been overshadowed by constant connectivity and noise from other passengers’ devices.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [04:36]: "I had one and I threw it away... I threw it in the pond."

The turning point in their conversation comes when the elderly man recounts a pivotal moment that led him to discard his mobile phone entirely. After a near-accident caused by his phone ringing on a train, he impulsively threw his device into a pond, symbolizing his rejection of constant digital distraction.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [05:10]: "I threw it in the pond. I don't want any more mobiles. Forget it."

3. Reflections on Childhood and Family

Transitioning from technology, the conversation shifts to the elderly man's childhood. He reminisces about happier times spent outdoors, playing sports, cycling, and enjoying the freedom of youth without the burdens of adult responsibilities.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [06:48]: "Happiest? Yes, when I was a child... the atmosphere around me, my parents, friends, it was more relaxed."

He speaks fondly of his parents, describing them as wonderful despite some disciplinary measures. He shares a poignant memory of his father’s authoritarian style, including using a belt for discipline, which he eventually overcame by resisting the punishment.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [12:18]: "My father was a bit strange... he used a belt... I didn't move, I didn't flinch at all. So the next time he did it, he gave up."

4. Challenges of Aging and Health Issues

The elderly man openly discusses the physical limitations that come with aging. He mentions various health problems, such as knee, hip, and back issues, which restrict his mobility and ability to engage in activities he once enjoyed.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [07:37]: "You have health problems... my knee, my hip, you know, my back."

Despite these challenges, he finds joy in watching younger generations, admiring their vitality while also feeling a sense of loss over his own diminished capabilities.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [07:51]: "When I look at these kids running around, it's a joy to see them running. Then I think, I can't do that anymore."

5. Philosophical Musings on Life and Death

A deep and thought-provoking part of the conversation revolves around the elderly man's views on life extension and death. He expresses skepticism about the pursuit of technologies like stem cell replacements, especially when societal needs and resources could be directed elsewhere.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [15:06]: "I feel pity for that, really. If the time comes, it comes. It's just done."

When asked about his funeral wishes, he nonchalantly dismisses conventional ceremonies, expressing a desire for simplicity—even suggesting that dogs could be present to "eat him" after his passing.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [16:07]: "If you had to push me, I'd say lay me out here and allow the dogs to eat me, you know?"

He further reflects on ownership of his grave, revealing a sense of detachment and practical concerns about maintenance and legacy.

6. Final Thoughts and Closing

As the conversation draws to a close, the elderly man contemplates his remaining days, mentioning his plans to meet friends and maintain his routine despite his frustrations with technology and aging.

Notable Quote:

Elderly Man [14:40]: "Waiting for God, that's it. And waiting for time. When I begin to push up daisies."

Tom compliments the elderly man, noting his apparent vitality despite his candid admissions of life's difficulties. The conversation ends with a poetic reflection, possibly inspired by their dialogue, encapsulating themes of aging, solitude, and the desire for peace.

Conclusion

Episode 3 of Strangers on a Bench offers a raw and heartfelt glimpse into the life of an elderly man grappling with the rapid technological advancements and the inevitable decline that comes with aging. Through their candid and often humorous exchange, Tom Rosenthal and his guest explore profound themes of connection, memory, and the human condition. This episode poignantly highlights the universal struggles of finding balance between embracing modernity and preserving personal peace.

Loading summary

Transcript141 lines

[00:04]
Host
Hello. Can I ask you a bit of a wild question?
[00:07]
Elderly Man
Really? Yeah. I've got hearing problems. Can you speak to me a bit louder?
[00:10]
Host
Yes, a bit louder. I'm making a podcast. Making a pod podcast. It's called Strangers on a Bench. And the idea is I talk to people I don't know.
[00:21]
Elderly Man
Oh, I see people like sitting on a bench. Or I sit, if you like. I mean, you could record anything. I mean, if I can't hear what you're asking me.
[00:45]
Host
What's your favorite day of the week?
[00:49]
Elderly Man
I don't have a favorite one. Any day is lovely. If it's not raining.
[00:54]
Host
When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you think about?
[00:59]
Elderly Man
Run to the toilet.
[01:02]
Host
Can you run?
[01:03]
Elderly Man
Well, try to run. I can't run now. I have to walk slowly with my walking stick.
[01:13]
Host
There it is. What's your definition of the perfect day?
[01:18]
Elderly Man
Well, if I have nothing else to do, come to the heath, go for a walk, choose a few benches from one to the other, lie on a bench or on the grass, if it's not wet, have my coffee with a sandwich, chat with people around, have a nap in the summer and get back home on a train which is not cancelled. You get them.
[01:53]
Host
That's always when the train's not cancelled. I'm happy too.
[01:56]
Elderly Man
Yes. So if I get home in one piece, Lovely.
[02:02]
Host
What's your favorite train journey to do? If you can get a train from anywhere, two places in the world, what train journey would you do?
[02:11]
Elderly Man
In the world?
[02:12]
Host
Yes, your favorite train journey you've ever been on.
[02:16]
Elderly Man
You're talking about transport?
[02:17]
Host
Yes, trains.
[02:21]
Elderly Man
I don't know. I don't travel that much. It's too expensive. I used to travel from London to Southend on the overground, on the British National Rail, but I can't do it anymore because people traveling on National Rail and so on, because they're overground, they have access to the Internet and it's a damn nuisance because they have no one minute rest PA papa on the bloody mobile all the time. So it's horrible. So I can't do that anymore.
[02:56]
Host
So too many people on their phones on the train?
[02:59]
Elderly Man
Yeah, absolutely. I used to sit and watch the countryside roll by as I went. You can't do it anymore because of the bloody fold. I came up today on the overground, not a minute's rest. I had to move around a couple of times. People are talking, talking to each other. It's not a problem, not a major problem. But on the platform, they never stop. People have no control over their mind. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click all the time. You try be quiet internally for a few minutes and you see how difficult it is.
[03:36]
Host
Do you have a phone?
[03:39]
Elderly Man
Well, I have a landline phone at home, but I have another one which I throw away, the. What you call it?
[03:48]
Host
SIM card.
[03:49]
Elderly Man
SIM card. So I still have it. I take pictures, I check the time and that's it.
[03:56]
Host
Fantastic.
[03:57]
Elderly Man
What do I need? A mobile. If I have a mobile here with a SIM card, I will not relax. I want to relax now. Nobody's bothering me. Nobody's phone, according to me, bother me.
[04:06]
Host
I'm bothering you.
[04:06]
Elderly Man
Yeah. Okay. I mean, before you came, was this. You can see them here with their phone in their face.
[04:12]
Host
There's people now passing. You see us, and two of them have got a phone. Their phone's out.
[04:17]
Elderly Man
They are. Look at that. Two of them. Yeah, three coming up.
[04:23]
Host
So three people just passing up.
[04:25]
Elderly Man
And he's talking to a person there and to the mobile.
[04:29]
Host
So someone's walking alongside him, but he's also.
[04:31]
Elderly Man
They're also conversing with each other.
[04:33]
Host
Yeah. It's wild, isn't it?
[04:36]
Elderly Man
It's crazy. It's absolutely crazy. I had one and I threw it away because I had a couple of accidents or near accidents. 1. I was coming up to Kospelok.
[04:50]
Host
Yes.
[04:51]
Elderly Man
And as I got up to get out of the train, the bloody thing rang. So automatically I went for it. And as I was about to get out, somebody grabbed me by the back and they pulled me back into the train. I said, oh, crap. I didn't know. There is a big switch between the train and the platform.
[05:10]
Host
Yes.
[05:11]
Elderly Man
And what this guy did, he pulled me away from. Stopped me from falling between the gap. The phone fell on my hands, my walking stick fell in the gap there. And I said, screw this, I'm not going to. Just because I picked up the mobile, you know, if I didn't have the mobile, no problem.
[05:28]
Host
Did you. Was there any ceremony to getting rid of your phone? Did you kind of throw the SIM card in the sea?
[05:36]
Elderly Man
No, no, no. The phone. The phone. I threw it in the pond.
[05:39]
Host
You threw it in the pond? You did it?
[05:41]
Elderly Man
Yes, of course. I was so angry with the bloody thing I threw in the pond. I don't want any more mobiles. Forget it.
[05:46]
Host
Did anyone see you throw it in? Yes. Did you do it? Can you remember how you did it? Did you do it in the morning or in the evening or in the.
[05:54]
Elderly Man
Middle of the night, end of the day, sort of late afternoon?
[05:58]
Host
And so you Just big throw, chucked.
[06:02]
Elderly Man
It in the mixed pond. Sitting at the pond there, how did it feel? No more.
[06:09]
Host
How did it feel when you heard the plop and the splash?
[06:12]
Elderly Man
Well, I felt relief. So when I'm here, that's it.
[06:18]
Host
Do you think more people should throw their phones in ponds?
[06:23]
Elderly Man
I don't know.
[06:24]
Host
How would you convince them not put.
[06:25]
Elderly Man
Them in the pond? Because that's really quite extreme. Well, it's extreme because you're polluting.
[06:31]
Host
Oh, that's true.
[06:32]
Elderly Man
So take it to some place, but make less use. Put it away and have a rest.
[06:49]
Host
Can you think of a time in your life where you think you were happiest?
[06:55]
Elderly Man
Happiest? Yes, when I was a child.
[06:58]
Host
Why?
[07:01]
Elderly Man
Partly because I didn't have any concern about making a living, you know, that kind of thing. And also the atmosphere around me, my parents, friends, it was more relaxed.
[07:19]
Host
Can you think of a moment when you realized your childhood was finished?
[07:25]
Elderly Man
Not really. That isn't a cut off point. It's just a gradual thing.
[07:28]
Host
Yeah.
[07:28]
Elderly Man
And you suddenly. Well, not suddenly. Gradually you look back and say, oh, obviously you have health problems. Knees and things like I have.
[07:37]
Host
Do you have any health problems now?
[07:39]
Elderly Man
Oh, my knee, my hip, you know, my back. You are reminded most sort of powerfully when you want to run. I can't run. I would fall down.
[07:52]
Host
What would you do?
[07:52]
Elderly Man
When I look at these kids running around, it's a joy to see them running. Then I think, I can't do that anymore. I can't climb up.
[07:59]
Host
But can I ask you a question? What would you do if, say, tomorrow, I was a magic doctor and I could make it so you had no problems with your body? Oh, what would you do tomorrow? For one day, what would you do?
[08:19]
Elderly Man
I don't know what I wouldn't do. I mean, given where I am, I'd be running up and down, turning some on the grass. Go to the pond over there, dive in, close the.
[08:31]
Host
You can find the phone.
[08:34]
Elderly Man
Yeah. Climbing up on trees, that's a chance. Oh, it's great. Fantastic. See that tree over there?
[08:39]
Host
You could climb up there. No, you could get up there.
[08:42]
Elderly Man
It's tempting. That one.
[08:45]
Host
Is there anything good about old age? What is good? There must be something.
[08:53]
Elderly Man
No, that isn't much. You can call Nice because the body breaks down slowly. You can't do this, you can't do that.
[09:01]
Host
So there's not one good thing about old age?
[09:06]
Elderly Man
That's one good thing? Yes.
[09:08]
Host
What is it?
[09:09]
Elderly Man
You can't do anything you like and you don't give a Damn people. Think about it. Stick two fingers in there. What can they do?
[09:15]
Host
So you can be a bit cheeky now?
[09:17]
Elderly Man
Absolutely, I don't give a damn.
[09:18]
Host
What was the last cheeky thing you did?
[09:22]
Elderly Man
I don't know.
[09:23]
Host
Come on, you must have been.
[09:26]
Elderly Man
Something really unpleasant. But yes, this is the only good thing because you don't care anymore. They can say I'm old, I can do anything I want.
[09:35]
Host
Can you guess my age?
[09:37]
Elderly Man
Your age?
[09:38]
Host
Can you guess how old I am?
[09:45]
Elderly Man
I would say late 20s maybe. Yeah, I'll push it if I say early 30s, but I mean that's all I get.
[09:56]
Host
You're very kind. I'm 37. What would you tell me as a 37 year old, what should I be doing? What should a 37 year old be doing?
[10:06]
Elderly Man
If you are interested in learning, apply yourself now. Whatever thing you want to learn, learn it now. Because you're mature, you can see things more or less clearly and you can retain them. Use your nose, use your head. Because after that it's old age and that's a bit late by then.
[10:31]
Host
You can still learn things though when you're old.
[10:35]
Elderly Man
Well, you can't do what you used to do when you're young. I mean as I said when I was younger I would concentrate very, very strongly, retain my concentration for very, very long time, do things like reading, writing and so on. But I find a problem now because of my age. The grey matter is twisted a bit, it's missing whatever. So can I do these things now? And the best thing after a while, really old, really old, is to find a beautiful girl very desirable. Make over to her all your property. One condition. She stays with you and makes certain that you die the proper way.
[11:22]
Host
Which is die the proper way. What's the proper way to die?
[11:27]
Elderly Man
You guess. Very old, young, beautiful.
[11:31]
Host
Ah, you died during lovemaking.
[11:35]
Elderly Man
I give you everything I got, darling. All you have to do is kill me with love. Wow.
[11:52]
Host
Tell me about your parents. Were they do you very you very close to them?
[11:58]
Elderly Man
Oh yes, yes, both of them. They passed away obviously some while back. That's when I had my lovely childhood memories. Cuz they really absolutely wonderful.
[12:10]
Host
Were they good parents to have?
[12:12]
Elderly Man
Oh absolutely, absolutely.
[12:13]
Host
What did they do? Well.
[12:18]
Elderly Man
My father was a bit strange in a way because he was a bit of an authoritarian.
[12:23]
Host
Yes.
[12:23]
Elderly Man
And he used a stick. It was the belt. The belt. Actually it's a belt he used when I was very, very young. Which I didn't like.
[12:32]
Host
When you were naughty?
[12:33]
Elderly Man
Yes, I mean nothing major naughty. I mean it's Just you run away. Don't do what he says or whatever. I mean, nothing, nothing major, you know. Come here, you know, And I have to bend down and you use the belt. And what I hated about that is hits you on the back, but it goes round to your tummy, which is not very pleasant. So I thought, it's only. Why I'm going to stop this. So the next time he did it, I didn't move, I didn't flinch at all. You want some more? Okay. Yes. And then he gave up. He says there's not much point of beating him because he's not really. He's not hurting anymore. But that was just nothing. But most of the time he was very proud of me. No, no. They were really wonderful parents. That's why that childhood is so lovely. You made me think about these things now, which I don't normally bother too.
[13:24]
Host
Much, but where did you. As a child, where did you play?
[13:28]
Elderly Man
I used to go a long way out on a coach and then get the bicycles out and cycle back or something like that. Swimming, sport in general, being a bit naughty. Because you're young, you have to be a bit. Oh, yes. Moving around, running, walking, cycling, that kind of thing. Really nice. Hello.
[14:00]
Host
I don't know her.
[14:01]
Elderly Man
Do you know what they call these things?
[14:03]
Host
The dogs. The little dogs on Chihuahuas. Is that right?
[14:09]
Elderly Man
Chinese breakfast.
[14:11]
Host
Chinese breakfast.
[14:13]
Elderly Man
I tell them sometimes and they don't like me.
[14:15]
Host
I bet they don't like that. I bet they don't like.
[14:24]
Elderly Man
I need to go, really, before it gets too late.
[14:26]
Host
You need to go. Okay. Can I ask you one more question? Please? Just one.
[14:31]
Elderly Man
Okay.
[14:32]
Host
What. What are you going to do next?
[14:34]
Elderly Man
Should I mean now?
[14:36]
Host
Yeah. Or generally.
[14:40]
Elderly Man
Oh, now. I'm going to see if I see my friends, exercise my legs a bit before it starts raining. Generally, there is an expression called waiting for God. Waiting for God, that's it. And waiting for time. When I begin to push up daisies.
[15:06]
Host
I hope it's not for a while.
[15:08]
Elderly Man
Well, I don't know.
[15:09]
Host
I think you're doing all right. You seem quite fresh.
[15:12]
Elderly Man
I don't. I don't put too much on necessarily promoting life for the sake of promoting life. I saw something in the paper the other day, Cleese, isn't it? The comedian John Cleese. I mean, I like him, he's a great, great comedian. And what I saw was that he has a knee replacement, two hip replacements, and for the last 20 years he's been paying about £17,000 a year for STEM.
[15:46]
Host
What do they call Them, stem cells.
[15:48]
Elderly Man
Stem cell replacement, and hell of a lot of money. 17,000 pounds and lots of people starving just to keep you fresh. And I feel pity for that, really. If the time comes, it comes. It's just done.
[16:08]
Host
What do you. What do you want to happen at your funeral?
[16:12]
Elderly Man
Who cares? I'm not there anymore. I'm fucked up. I'm dead. I think the best way. If you had to push me, I'd say lay me out here and allow the dogs to eat me, you know?
[16:28]
Host
The dogs?
[16:29]
Elderly Man
The dogs, yeah. I mean, I have a. I own. I own a grave. The first thing ever in my life I owned was a grave.
[16:37]
Host
That's the first thing you owned?
[16:38]
Elderly Man
The first thing I ever owned was a grave. Was a grave because my father had to be buried.
[16:46]
Host
You were young when he died.
[16:48]
Elderly Man
Well, fairly young. In my 20s, 30s, I can't remember, but. So I had to buy it. And we buried him there. And I don't know if he's still. The Slav is still there with his name. But I kept getting letters from those people, you know, the cemetery people. If you pay so much more, the ownership will be extended for so many years. So I said, what the hell do I want it? I mean, to carry on owning a grave? I don't know what happened, actually. I never bothered to respond to that. So, actually, out of curiosity, I'm going to get up there one of these days, have a look, get a friend to drive me there, look for it, and see if the slab is still there. I doubt it. I think it's gone now.
[17:38]
Poet
Summer nights and cold milkshakes. Some detective you would make. One day I'll be gone. No more phones in the mix, Pond. This could be your home. Born into the world with a tombstone. Summer days, nowhere to go. One last dive with aging bones. You could rest in peace Knowing that you'll never be. Knowing that you'll never be. John Clee. Grow in old while doing as you please. Would you consider sex to kill me?