EPISODE 36: Why Was She Calling Me?

Summary

Strangers on a Bench: EPISODE 36 – "Why Was She Calling Me?"

Released May 19, 2025 | Host: Tom Rosenthal

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Introduction

In Episode 36 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal engages in a heartfelt and revealing conversation with a long-serving Royal Mail postman. Over a 25-minute exchange, they delve into the postman's personal life, career experiences, family memories, and profound moments of loss. The anonymous guest shares candid reflections that offer listeners an intimate glimpse into the life of a dedicated grandfather and community member.

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A Day in the Life

Ideal Day Off

The conversation begins with Tom inquiring about the guest's favorite day off. The postman, whose schedule varies due to his work commitments, describes his ideal day as one spent with family, particularly his grandchildren. “[00:52] (Grandparent): Well, I'm working, so when it's my day off, basically every sort of week, I have a different day off, so.”

He envisions a day filled with walks in the park, quality time with his wife, and a leisurely pub lunch—though he humorously notes the absence of a nearby pub. “01:05: Family go and see my grandkids. Just chill. Yeah. Just have a walk around the park or any fresh air.”

Being a Grandparent

When asked about his role as a grandparent, he passionately shares the magic of grandparenting. “01:33: It's the best. ... It's just magical. Yeah, it's just magical.”

He perceives himself as the fun grandparent, contrasting his demeanor around his grandchildren with his more reserved personality otherwise. “02:13: I think I'm the fun one because my daughter, she says, like, partner, his dad, he's got about, I think, six or seven grandkids… I can go out if they want to go out, do anything.”

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Career Reflections

Life as a Royal Mail Postman

Having served the Royal Mail since 1987, the guest reflects on nearly four decades of delivering mail across London. He expresses a deep appreciation for the relationships formed with regular recipients. “22:46: I think the community started a bit like going out… We delivered to an old people zone and there's about four or five old girls and they'll all be waiting for me.”

One of his most memorable deliveries involves an unsettling encounter early in his career. “04:35: I have one woman. ... she started taking the clothes off. Madness. And then... I just run. Run quickly away sort of thing.”

He also recounts the camaraderie among colleagues and the challenges posed by modernization and privatization. “22:46: …they haven't got the time now, because it's all rush, rush, and you. You have to. All targets, you have to hit targets.”

Technological Changes and Community Impact

The guest laments the loss of personal connections in the age of technological efficiency. “22:46: …you have to hit targets. And I used to deliver to an old people zone… now, you ain't going to get your postie walking down the street and making sure Mrs. Wells is all right.”

He highlights the diminishing community spirit and the impact of privatization on the personal touch inherent in postal services. “22:46: …privatization, it's destroying it, really.”

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Personal Memories and Family Life

Growing Up and Family Traditions

The guest shares nostalgic memories of his childhood, particularly summer holidays spent in a caravan in Hastings with his two brothers. “11:24: …we spend six, seven weeks down there, just I mean in a caravan, just. And we just roamed around.”

A standout memory involves a playful shark encounter that has left a lasting bond with his siblings. “11:46: …we just swam out there, the three of us, and it was on that and then we see a fin. It was a poise. And Jaws was... I was a shark. …My little brother … he says to me, you left me.”

Parental Loss and Its Aftermath

A poignant segment of the conversation delves into the guest's grief following the sudden death of his mother and the subsequent passing of his father. “13:03: …when the mum died, then my dad died two, three years after.”

He recounts the traumatic day he discovered his mother had fallen and the ensuing turmoil. “13:36: I actually found her. She had a fall in the house… I phoned the ambulance straight away.”

The guest reflects on the lingering regret of not being able to respond adequately during his mother's final moments. “14:14: She called me over the night. … I should have gone over. … What was you gonna. Probably nothing.”

He also touches on the impact on his relationship with his father, acknowledging missed opportunities to support him through grief. “15:51: …we should have sat down and had a chat with him and. And see if we could have done anything if, like, help him a bit more cope with it.”

Memorializing Parents

The guest preserves his parents’ memories through cherished photographs. “16:38: I've got pictures. … They have their own places.”

He describes his favorite photo of his mother in the kitchen, capturing her love for cooking. “16:46: …I've got one of her in the kitchen. … it brings back all the memories.”

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Marriage and Parenthood

Wedding Memories

Reflecting on his own wedding, the guest shares a blend of nervousness and joy. “19:02: I got married in Cyprus. On the beach.”

Contrasting his wedding with that of his daughter, who had a more traditional ceremony, he highlights the serene and unique setting of his beach wedding. “19:05: …always wanted to get married on a beach, you know, with sand in her toes.”

Walking His Daughter Down the Aisle

He recounts the emotional experience of walking his daughter down the aisle, despite battling a bad cough. “18:30: …I had a really bad cough. … the vicar said to me, oh, you got to go down at an even pace … slow down, slow down, slow down.”

This moment stands out as a sweet and memorable part of his life’s journey.

Birth of His Child

The guest shares the joyous yet traumatic memory of his daughter's birth, marked by preeclampsia and premature delivery. “24:05: …my daughter was born. … she was six weeks early.”

Despite the challenging circumstances, holding his newborn for the first time remains one of his happiest memories. “24:13: …it was magical. … I held her like that … brilliant.”

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Life After Retirement

Future Aspirations

Looking ahead, the postman expresses a desire to retire and relocate away from London to enjoy a quieter life with his wife and possibly a garden. “03:03: …hopefully I'm going to move away from London straight off.”

He contemplates the practicalities of retirement, including the care of his cats and the potential addition of a dog. “20:56: …we have two cats at the moment, but if we move away, we get a dog.”

Emotional Reflections on Retirement

When pondering his final day at work, the guest is unsure about his emotional state but emphasizes his attachment to routine and community. “20:19: …I don't think I'll be emotional.”

He muses about the lasting relationships and daily interactions that define his professional life, underscoring the integral role his work plays in his identity.

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Notable Quotes

• “01:33: It's the best. ... It's just magical. Yeah, it's just magical.”
• “04:35: I have one woman. ... she started taking the clothes off. Madness. And then... I just run. Run quickly away sort of thing.”
• “22:46: …privatization, it's destroying it, really.”
• “14:23: …I should have gone over. … What was you gonna. Probably nothing.”
• “19:05: …always wanted to get married on a beach, you know, with sand in her toes.”

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Conclusion

Episode 36 of "Strangers on a Bench" offers a profound exploration of life's joys, challenges, and regrets through the lens of a dedicated Royal Mail postman. From cherished family moments and enduring relationships to the pain of sudden loss and the contemplation of retirement, the guest's stories resonate with authenticity and emotional depth. Tom Rosenthal’s empathetic interviewing creates a space for genuine connection, allowing listeners to reflect on their own lives and the intricate tapestry of human experiences.

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Transcript

[Host]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a. Is there a day of the week that you favor?

[Grandparent]

Well, I'm working, so when it's my day off, basically every sort of week, I have a different day off, so.

[Host]

So whatever. Day off, that's your favorite one, basically. Now, can you take me through as much detail as you can on that day off of yours?

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

What is your idea of a kind of ideal day?

[Grandparent]

Family go and see my grandkids. Just chill. Yeah. Just have a walk around the park or any fresh air. Because I'm from London. You don't. I'll get it here. But genuinely, you don't get fresh air, do you? It's traffic, so just get away from that. So anywhere. Just spend a bit of quality time with Mrs. Because we're both working. So, yeah, pub lunch somewhere here would be ideal. But I haven't got a pub here, so.

[Host]

Yeah, we need to build a pub here and then you better see. Fine.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

Tell me what it's like being a grandparent.

[Grandparent]

It's the best.

[Host]

Yeah. Tell me why.

[Grandparent]

I don't know, it's just. It's magical. Yeah, it's just magical. Every time you see them, the granddad and grandma, and they love you and. Well, my kids love me as well, but, you know. Yeah, but I don't know because you haven't got that responsibility. You can go down and visit them and then couple of hours you can come home and just relax and you're responsible if you like. If I take them out, of course. But then after two, three hours, you take them home back to mummy and Daddy and it's their responsibility. But. Yeah.

[Host]

Well, how do they see you? Are you the kind of the fun one? Are you the most. How do you think you're perceived by your own grandchildren?

[Grandparent]

I think I'm the fun one because my daughter, she says, like, partner, his dad, he's got about, I think, six or seven grandkids, so. And this I don't like. These are my first sort of thing with my daughter. So, yeah, I've got a bit more time. So I can go out if they want to go out, do anything. Yeah, I'm up for it. I'll go out, I'll take them out, whatever they want to do, you know, I mean, so I suppose, yeah, from their Side, I think. Yeah, I'm probably more fun.

[Host]

Fantastic.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

Do you think you're a fun person generally?

[Grandparent]

No, not really. No. Not really, no.

[Host]

You've cultivated it a bit more for the graduate.

[Grandparent]

Yeah. I don't know I'm up for or anything, but I'm. I'm happier with them as well. So generally that's, that's going to follow through in it.

[Host]

But if you didn't have to do any work at all, if you retired.

[Grandparent]

One day, a couple of years time.

[Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you see your life going?

[Grandparent]

Well, hopefully I'm going to move away from London straight off.

[Host]

He's off.

[Grandparent]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Host]

No messing about.

[Grandparent]

Without a doubt. I love, I love this. I love this. And you don't get that in London, you know, what you do here in the parks, you know, I mean, I live in a flat so yeah, it's hard. I haven't got a garden so I mean that's. Yeah, that's my dream. I want to. Yeah. Sell up, finish work, retire. I get a good pension, move anywhere, really. Well, I mean we are looking now, so, yeah, Norfolk, me looking at Norfolk and that and. Yeah. And just. Yeah. Have my own garden and just chill, just go out, just have a little trot down, have a nice local pub you can just walk to.

[Host]

Fantastic. Let's imagine tomorrow is your last work day.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

What would you miss about your work?

[Grandparent]

I think the people, my colleagues, because I've been doing what I've been doing for 40 odd years, so it's a long time.

[Host]

Oh, so you're an expert in whatever that is you're doing?

[Grandparent]

Yeah, well, Royal Mail. I work for Royal Mount.

[Host]

Oh, fantastic.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, yeah. We're mainly in the same office for 38 years.

[Host]

Oh, fantastic.

[Grandparent]

So it's a long time. So. Yeah.

[Host]

Does that mean you work at the robbery or you've been a postman?

[Grandparent]

I mean, I don't do deliveries now, which I'm indoors now. I'm in a sort of an office. I stay inside so I miss that side of my going out and about that. So that's why. Yeah, well, I don't really people, you know, I mean, I just like this. I like nature, you know what I mean? I'm not saying I don't like people because I'm chatting to you, so I don't know.

[Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Grandparent]

Yeah. I'm not, I'm not. Yeah, yeah. I mean people can chat to me.

[Host]

Can you think, can you think of your most memorable morning delivering letters?

[Grandparent]

I have one woman. This is one I first started when I was a young man.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Grandparent]

And she asked how young we talking? Probably about 18, 19, when I just started, really started. 20. 20, maybe 20. I'd only been in a job, like, maybe. Yeah, a year, two years. I was delivering parcels and she. I was in my van and she stopped me and she said, oh, I've got a problem with one of my doors. I thought, oh, yeah. And then so she asked me in to undo one of her doors and I went in there and she started taking the clothes off. Madness. And then. Yeah. So I just run. Run quickly away sort of thing. Yeah. But, yeah, it's probably the thing at the top of my head I can remember.

[Host]

Oh, wow.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

I mean, obviously slightly crass question, but were you at all tempted to take your clothes off as well?

[Grandparent]

I was scared. I think I was scared because she was a lot older than me. A lot older than me. You know what I mean? So, yeah.

[Host]

What did he do for future deliveries to that person?

[Grandparent]

Yeah. Luckily I just. It wasn't sort of like my regular route. I can't really actually remember sort of going back there again sort of thing.

[Host]

You must have developed some real relationships with different people down here. You know, if you keep seeing people every day, is anyone down the years you kind of forge relationships.

[Grandparent]

A little old girl that comes down our office and picks her mouth up. I mean, she's very nervous woman. She's lovely. She brings me fruit every day.

[Host]

Oh, wonderful.

[Grandparent]

Every couple of days. Not every day, but every couple of days.

[Host]

That's the deal. Fruit, then you hand over.

[Grandparent]

Well, I mean, she's lonely. She's lonely. So you know what I mean? So she's on her own and I'll just try and make time for her. And a couple of months ago she was in hospital and think, well, where is she? You know what I mean? Where is she? She always comes down. So she sent out a sort of little search party, make sure she was all right. And. Yeah. And then we found out she was in hospital. She was all right. So good. But, yeah, you have them sort of little people you meet and like when I'm strolling around, I meet like I'm dog walkers because, like, being a postman.

[Host]

Oh, yeah. How do you feel about dogs?

[Grandparent]

I love dogs. I love dogs.

[Host]

Have you learned to love them or is that. Is that.

[Grandparent]

No.

[Host]

Well, I mean, you must have been chased by a dog.

[Grandparent]

Oh, a few times, yeah, A few times. I mean, one time I was delivering to a tower block, but the out station coming, like from the other Side of the block sort of thing. So he blocked me off from the stairs.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Grandparent]

And I was like four or five floors up, so there's no way I was going to jump down. And he just sat there growling at me and I thought, what, what I'm gonna do, you know. And this was like the signs before mobile phones or anything like that, so I just had to knock on the doors, you know, like. And luckily someone. It wasn't a dog owner, but she knew like the dog's name, like, and she could like call it and just. And that's the only time I really was not scared, you know what I mean? But if it had gone for me, I didn't know. There's no way I would have been able to pep down because I only had a bundle of letters.

[Host]

You could chuck them, chuck them up. Let's.

[Grandparent]

But yeah, there's a few little dogs seem to be the worst, but you get to know. You get to know where they are and if they are a bit naughty.

[Host]

Can you think of the strangest thing you've delivered? Oh, he's got something, he's got something.

[Grandparent]

The thing is, you don't really know what's in them, you know what I mean? A lot of the packages.

[Host]

You must shake him about sometimes. No, like, oh, what's that?

[Grandparent]

I mean, you get loads of squeaky toys and loads of things and sometimes it's clocks and things like that. We had about three, four years ago, there was like white powder found in one of the. One of the parcels. They thought it was like they closed their office down, drugs and everything, but it wasn't, you know what I mean? But that was, that was unusual. Yeah, they closed it. We couldn't go out on delivery and everything. That was. Whole day just sat in the office waiting for the, like the police to come in and have a look around.

[Host]

Just one.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, someone. Yeah, someone found some like white powder somewhere. So. Yeah, yeah, but we deliver all sorts but you don't really know what they are in because they're just square boxes.

[Host]

So obviously you started, you say 42, 40.

[Grandparent]

I think I started in 80, 87. So I think if I do two more years, it's roughly 40 years.

[Host]

Yeah, obviously, I'm guessing there's been something in it. You've. You've. That's worked for you. What. What is it you think you've. That what you've kept?

[Grandparent]

I enjoy, I. I enjoyed the delivery, especially the delivery side of it. Not so much now because I'm inside so much, you know, I'D rather be out delivering, but my knees are gone now, you know, I mean, so I can't really. I mean, I can't really do it now because when I first left school, all them years ago, I worked in an office and I hated it. I was a builder's merchants and working like bookkeeping, you know, the old ledgers sort of thing. Yeah. I'd done it for two years. And I test, I said to my mum, because my mum worked at a Royal Mall.

[Host]

Amazing.

[Grandparent]

And she hated it. I mean, she hated it. I don't know. I mean, why? I mean, I think she used to work in a big office and. And I was drawing. I was trying to pass my driving test and. And the Royal Mail were doing it for free so you could join.

[Host]

Okay.

[Grandparent]

Pass your test, they pay for it. And then I should say, oh, yeah, then you leave after a year and do something else. Look at me now, here we go. But, yeah, I think that's genuinely. Yeah, I enjoyed it. Yeah. The money's not too bad. There's plenty of overtime. Not so much now, but when I first joined. So, yeah, it's paid for me house, so, yeah, I mean, yeah, it's brought me kids up, so I can't. Can't complain, really. You know what I mean?

[Host]

So, yeah, fantastic. What were you like at school?

[Grandparent]

I like school. I like school. I like the sports, science school.

[Host]

Do you remember any of your teachers?

[Grandparent]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can remember Mr. Boltz, a German teacher. Fran, do you know the old chalk? What are they? The chalk rubbers, the things that rub out. Yeah, those great big lumpy things. Slate things. I can remember him chucking around. If you weren't paying attention, you'd get one of them on your. One of you on the back of the head. Yeah, I can remember a few. Few teachers like that. Yeah.

[Host]

So you mentioned your mum worked for the Royal.

[Grandparent]

Royal. Yeah.

[Host]

What were your parents like? I'm guessing they're not. No longer with us.

[Grandparent]

No, no, no, no, sadly not, no. I love my mum. Bed.

[Host]

Yeah. Lovely.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, that was lovely. Parents. Yeah, they brought us up. Yeah. Three kids. Mum had two jobs. My dad had two at home and he worked hard, you know, so didn't want for anything. There was always food, food in the fridge and he's always hungry. But I mean, there's three boys growing up, but, yeah, no, I love the upbringing because we used to have a caravan in Hastings. We used to go down there for our summer holidays and things like that. So we spend six, seven weeks down there, just I mean in a caravan, just. And we just. Yeah, we just roamed around. Loads of memories, loads of memories.

[Host]

Any particular memories with your brothers in Hastings that stand out at all if it cast your mind back? Any particular?

[Grandparent]

I can remember swimming. We went down. There was like an Oodist beach in Hastings and I used to always see people walk around naked but we didn't go in there for that, you know, it was old people anyway, so you.

[Host]

Don'T want to see that with your family at this point.

[Grandparent]

Point. I was with my brothers. Two brothers.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, we used to go off. Yeah, I mean go off all the time.

[Host]

So you got on the nudist beach?

[Grandparent]

Got on the nudies beach and there was this like little pier thing and we just swam out there, the three of us, and it was on that and then we see a fin. It was a poise. And Jaws was. Well, it was rife then. Jaws like. Was it 1977? Wherever he was. But it was, yeah. And he was winding up my little brother like, ah, he's a shark. Shark. Adds it's a shark. And me and Mark jumped in and we left him and I can still remember the screams like now, you know what I mean? And he still. Every time I see him now, he says to me, you left me, you left me.

[Host]

He's never forgotten.

[Grandparent]

No, never, never.

[Host]

But yeah, when you're together now, all three of you, if that happens.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, it does. Not regular, but yeah, it happens, yeah.

[Host]

Are the dynamics just the same as they've always. They always were.

[Grandparent]

It's always, yeah, always. Yeah, yeah, all that. You always get the same arguments.

[Host]

Would you ever the three of you go in a caravan to Hastings again?

[Grandparent]

I'd love to. I'd love to. I'd love to, love to go back. We've met Dan a few times down here, like just day trips.

[Host]

Did your parents dying bring you closer together?

[Grandparent]

No, I don't think so. We've all always been. Always been close. Always been close, yeah. And we like, we was before each other when they died, you know what I mean? Which was horrible.

[Host]

But did they die quite close?

[Grandparent]

They did, yeah. My mum died first, then my dad died two, three years after. I think he just, I mean he was a little bit older than my mum and my mum was sudden. My mum died, she was 16, so it's quite sudden, so. And he was a little bit. He was about five, six years older than my mum anyway. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think now. I think he just got a bit lonely. I think he just, I think I say give up, but he just. Yeah, I think he missed her.

[Host]

Your mum died suddenly. Like, what. What was that like for you?

[Grandparent]

Shock, isn't it? I mean, it's just. Yeah, it's just shock.

[Host]

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of. Do you recall of that day?

[Grandparent]

I actually found her. She had a fall in the house and I was popping around. My dad was. I don't know who my dad was, but it was. So he weren't in the house and. Yeah, I found her in the. In the living room. I thought she was dead. She wasn't. Put a blanker on and. And then I phoned the ambulance straight away. And then. Yeah, come in. We'll go into the hospital and all the tests and the bits and pieces. And then. Yeah, and then we thought she'd be all right. And then. And then getting a call in the morning that she passed away in the middle of the night. Yeah. Not nice.

[Host]

Is there anything you think you didn't get to say to her? Obviously, that's. It's always rough when that happens. You don't get a chance to say anything.

[Grandparent]

But she called me over the night. It's like she died, but she. I was in the hospital and I was talking to one of my aunts, right. So I could. I could see her start calling me over and I said, oh, Mum, I'll come over. And then I didn't actually go over and went home and then I got a call and I was just wondering, why was she calling me over? And that's always played in my, you know, I mean, what. What was you gonna. Probably nothing. Probably nothing.

[Host]

I just asked you for a couple.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, whatever, you know, I mean, but it's probably. Probably nothing, but that's always plagued in my. In my mind. I should have gone. I should have gone over to her. Yeah. I mean, if I could go back, that's one thing I would have.

[Host]

Oh, it's so tough.

[Grandparent]

I would have.

[Host]

Yeah, you've done all. You know, you would have done a million things of good nature before that, you know, and, you know, we always forget that last one. I'm not saying it's like.

[Grandparent]

I'm not saying it's. It's depressed me and got me. I mean, I've always wondered. Yeah, I've got, like. As soon as you ask me, I can't. I can remember straight away and I think I should have gone over. But, you know, I say, like you said, can I have a glass of water or something like that?

[Host]

Do you think also it's just one of those ones where you just, you know, part of it is you never think your parents gonna die, maybe. Do you know what I mean? That kind of feeling, like, do you think maybe, oh, she'll be okay, or, you know, you can't believe it unless it happens. Yeah, maybe you're kind of like, oh, you know.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, of course. I mean, yeah, it's. I mean, like, we always thought. We thought she was getting better. She wasn't. You know what I mean? So. But yeah, it's.

[Host]

Did that affect, obviously, the next few years of your dad, did that affect how you, you know, at all approached him in his last days?

[Grandparent]

Yeah, I didn't really. We didn't really mention Mum, you know, I mean, to him, you know, I mean, he was not saying he was depressed or anything. He was just. He was. He was a lot quieter. But, yeah, we didn't really mention mum. Perhaps we should have talked to him a bit more about him, but probably waiting for him to say something, but he never did, so probably that's a regret. One of my regrets. I suppose he. We should have sat down and had a chat with him and. And see if we could have done anything if, like, help him a bit more cope with it because it. Yeah, it must be an horrible thing because I say the house was all empty and like. But.

[Host]

Have you kept anything of your mother's?

[Grandparent]

I've got pictures. I've got pictures. Yeah. Pictures everywhere.

[Host]

Can I ask you what picture means the most to you of her?

[Grandparent]

I've got one of her in the kitchen. She loved the cooking, my mum, so, yeah, I've got one of her in, like, cooking and just turning over her shoulder and I think that's one of my favourites because. Yeah, it brings back all the memories and, like. Yeah. All the food she used to prepare.

[Host]

And do you have it up somewhere or in the house or do you have it.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, it's in my bedroom. It's actually by my bedside table. But I'm a dad as well. I've got them individual.

[Host]

They've got their own places. What's your dad's one?

[Grandparent]

I think he's fishing, sea fishing. And he's just got, like, rosy cheeks and. Yeah, I mean, really, he looked. Yeah. Healthy and. Yeah. And I think. Yeah, so I remember my dad.

[Host]

Oh, it's lovely. What are traditions that they cultivated as when you were younger? Have you tried to keep with your children and grandchildren anything you've particularly tried to keep going?

[Grandparent]

Not really, no. Just lifestyle and things like that, I suppose. A bit different now because I was always out. I was always, you know, I was never in up to mischief tonight. Just. Yeah, doing all sorts. And my daughter, she probably had a totally different upbringing to me, but I suppose, I mean, I've just. Just try to love her. I just love her and I'm in support and help her, buy her house and things like that. Helped with her wedding and things like that. So financially I've tried to be there for her all the time.

[Host]

And you walked her down the aisle.

[Grandparent]

I walked her down.

[Host]

How was that?

[Grandparent]

That was lovely. I was nervous, but, yeah, I had a really bad cough. I mean, I had a really. Yeah. On the day and then I kept coughing all the time. I was nervous, you know what I mean? Because I'm remember like when we went round to the church and the vicar said to me, oh, you got to go down an even pace walking with her. And I was all over the place and she said to me, dad, slow down, slow down, slow down. There's no rush, no rush. So I can always remember that and I think, oh, that's sweet.

[Host]

So, yeah, what do you remember of your wedding?

[Grandparent]

I got married in.

[Host]

Were you as nervous walking down the aisle as you were with your daughter?

[Grandparent]

I got married in Cyprus.

[Host]

Oh, okay.

[Grandparent]

On the beach.

[Host]

Yeah, that was funky.

[Grandparent]

Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, that was a bit different. Yeah, I was different. Yeah, I was different always. My Mrs. Always wanted to get married on a. On a beach, you know, with sand in her toes. So, yeah, we got married in Cyprus.

[Host]

When you first met your wife.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

Do you remember that moment?

[Grandparent]

Yeah, because I met her through Royal Mal. I used to see her in a canteen, I think. Oh, yeah, she. She looks nice. Yeah. And then we just got chatting all them many years ago.

[Host]

Why do you think she works for you?

[Grandparent]

I don't know. She's understanding. She. I mean, she knows I like to go off. I like to be on my own, you know, I mean, where we're working at, it's really hectic. Busy. It's busy in the morning. I was thinking that's probably why it stems from there, you know, I mean, but I just. I just sort of vanish. Who knows? I'm all right. I mean, but I just. Only just need to get away. Just did like a bit of peace and that. But now we've been lucky. We've been lucky. I think, yeah, I've been lucky. I found the right. Right one. So, yeah, I mean, but what do you think?

[Host]

You're fast forwarding a couple of years now. Touchwood imagine your last day at your work. Do you think you'd be emotional going in for the final time?

[Grandparent]

I don't know. I don't know until I'm there. But I don't need to be emotional. I don't know. It's an odd one. Yeah. I don't think I'll be emotional. But you're saying you might get home and you. Oh, I ain't gonna do that again. I mean, if I was still in London, I'd still work. Because it's a lovely. It's my. I've got. I've done that routine. I like a routine. I mean, like I was saying, if I move away, I mean, because we've got two cats at the moment, because we live in a flat, but if we move away, we get a dog. We will get a dog.

[Host]

What would happen to the cats?

[Grandparent]

Well, the cats will be all right. They'll be all right.

[Host]

Any of the cats you prefer, are they one over the other? You got a strong bond.

[Grandparent]

I think the oldest. Buddy, I think. Yeah, Buddy. I think Ronnie, the youngest. He's more for my missus, but. Yeah, Buddy's. He's always. Yeah, he's on my lap all the time. If ever I come in from work, he'll be the first one to come and see me.

[Host]

Yeah, perfect name. Why name Buddy? Buddy after anyone in particular?

[Grandparent]

I think it was my daughter's cat, Ronnie.

[Host]

After Ronnie o' Sullivan?

[Grandparent]

Nah, Ronnie was.

[Host]

I don't know. I just like the idea of a cattle.

[Grandparent]

I think Ronnie, we got from. Because you're diabetic.

[Host]

What happens when you're a diabetic cat?

[Grandparent]

The same. Insulin it is, really? Yeah, same. Exactly the same. Exactly the same.

[Host]

Fun fact for you. I'm diabetic, type one.

[Grandparent]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Host]

So I've got insulin in my bag.

[Grandparent]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, you have to give it to the cat. Exactly the same thing. Yeah. On the neck. On the back of the neck.

[Host]

How often?

[Grandparent]

Twice. Once in the morning, once a night.

[Host]

Really?

[Grandparent]

Yeah. He has them because he. Because with cats, they can. They can come out of it, but I mean, they can always go back to it, but they can.

[Host]

They can recover.

[Grandparent]

Not like humans, but.

[Host]

Oh, the cat now.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

Amazing. Amazing. I'll ask you three more questions and I'll leave you alone in peace. You've seen, obviously, the post office go from whenever you started, 87.

[Grandparent]

87, yeah.

[Host]

To now. It's a huge technological age from those opening years to say now, what has been lost?

[Grandparent]

I think the community started a bit like going out and that, because they haven't got the time now, because it's all rush, rush, and you. You have to. All targets, you have to hit targets. And I used to deliver to an old people zone and there's about four or five old girls and they'll all be waiting for me, you know, And I used to be. I could spend an hour in there. I used to say to my manager, he said, why is it taking you so long to deliver that? I said, because I've got. I'm chatting to about four or five different women in there, like older women, like, just because they're lonely sort of thing. So. Yeah, I mean, but they wouldn't be able to do that now. No way. You ain't going to get your postie walking down the street and making sure Mrs. Wells is all right and all that. And let's say privatization, it's destroying it, really. I mean. Yeah, it's not going to get any better. So, I mean, you're gonna. You're gonna. Eventually you're gonna have a Thames water. That's what. That's what I think with Royal Mail, because they say, oh, the letters are unstainable, that no one's posting. But there is still letters out there. People are still posting. You know, not as many, but here's.

[Host]

All the love letters you might have. Must have delivered, eh?

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

It's such an important job. Yes, lovely.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

Happiest day of your life. Can you think of it?

[Grandparent]

Happiest day, probably, let's say, when my daughter was born, I imagine. Yeah.

[Host]

Well, were you in the room?

[Grandparent]

Yeah, I was, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host]

Do you remember holding her for the first time?

[Grandparent]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

What was that like?

[Grandparent]

Ah, magical. Yeah, it was brilliant. Yeah, it's. I mean, I was surprised because my missus went for a really bad time and she lost a lot of blood and that was.

[Host]

It was a bit of a traumatic one.

[Grandparent]

Yeah, it was a. Yeah, yeah. Cause she was six weeks early. Cause she was preeclampsia, so they had to induce her, sort of. So, yeah, she was tiny. She was like that little bag of sugar. Oh, that. She was. You saw. I held her like that.

[Host]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Grandparent]

And, yeah, there was so much blood. I was surprised I still got me two feet. I mean, even the nurses said, I'm surprised you're still, like, upright. I mean. But. Yeah, because there was wires everywhere. There was always streams going everywhere. But, yeah, and I. I was in there and, yeah, I've done it. And I stayed up and Yeah, I watched the come. Brilliant. Yeah, that was nice. Yeah, it's lovely.

[Host]

That's beautiful. Okay, well, the last question was. I asked the same as to everybody, what are you going to do next?

[Grandparent]

I'm going to go work. I am. I'm gonna go work. I'm gonna go work.

[Host]

Might you see the. The. Your friend who comes in with the.

[Grandparent]

Fruit, she was in this morning.

[Host]

Oh, she's already been here.

[Grandparent]

He's put in. Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

What did you get this morning?

[Grandparent]

I haven't looked, but it's probably usually a cut, bananas, a couple of pears, but it's always two of whatever. So.

[Host]

Lovely. Yeah, that's inspired me. I'm gonna just go and bring fruit to someone and have a chat, you know.

[Grandparent]

Yeah.

[Host]

Thank you so much for talking to me.

[Grandparent]

All right. That's all.

[Child]

There's a photo of you with flower on your face Laughing in the kitchen that was your favorite place.

[Grandparent]

But I.

[Child]

Can'T help remembering the night you fell away and it plagues me to this day There was something left to say Were you calling me to say you love me one last time or just to ask for something like Maltese? I replay it every night that moment don't rewind and I wish I'd answered what you asked of me it was probably nothing but it won't let me be probably nothing yeah, you just wanted more tea. Probably nothing Would you have said you love me and everything is gonna be alright? It was probably not.