Strangers on a Bench: EPISODE 36 – "Why Was She Calling Me?"
Released May 19, 2025 | Host: Tom Rosenthal
Introduction
In Episode 36 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal engages in a heartfelt and revealing conversation with a long-serving Royal Mail postman. Over a 25-minute exchange, they delve into the postman's personal life, career experiences, family memories, and profound moments of loss. The anonymous guest shares candid reflections that offer listeners an intimate glimpse into the life of a dedicated grandfather and community member.
A Day in the Life
Ideal Day Off
The conversation begins with Tom inquiring about the guest's favorite day off. The postman, whose schedule varies due to his work commitments, describes his ideal day as one spent with family, particularly his grandchildren. “[00:52] (Grandparent): Well, I'm working, so when it's my day off, basically every sort of week, I have a different day off, so.”
He envisions a day filled with walks in the park, quality time with his wife, and a leisurely pub lunch—though he humorously notes the absence of a nearby pub. “01:05: Family go and see my grandkids. Just chill. Yeah. Just have a walk around the park or any fresh air.”
Being a Grandparent
When asked about his role as a grandparent, he passionately shares the magic of grandparenting. “01:33: It's the best. ... It's just magical. Yeah, it's just magical.”
He perceives himself as the fun grandparent, contrasting his demeanor around his grandchildren with his more reserved personality otherwise. “02:13: I think I'm the fun one because my daughter, she says, like, partner, his dad, he's got about, I think, six or seven grandkids… I can go out if they want to go out, do anything.”
Career Reflections
Life as a Royal Mail Postman
Having served the Royal Mail since 1987, the guest reflects on nearly four decades of delivering mail across London. He expresses a deep appreciation for the relationships formed with regular recipients. “22:46: I think the community started a bit like going out… We delivered to an old people zone and there's about four or five old girls and they'll all be waiting for me.”
One of his most memorable deliveries involves an unsettling encounter early in his career. “04:35: I have one woman. ... she started taking the clothes off. Madness. And then... I just run. Run quickly away sort of thing.”
He also recounts the camaraderie among colleagues and the challenges posed by modernization and privatization. “22:46: …they haven't got the time now, because it's all rush, rush, and you. You have to. All targets, you have to hit targets.”
Technological Changes and Community Impact
The guest laments the loss of personal connections in the age of technological efficiency. “22:46: …you have to hit targets. And I used to deliver to an old people zone… now, you ain't going to get your postie walking down the street and making sure Mrs. Wells is all right.”
He highlights the diminishing community spirit and the impact of privatization on the personal touch inherent in postal services. “22:46: …privatization, it's destroying it, really.”
Personal Memories and Family Life
Growing Up and Family Traditions
The guest shares nostalgic memories of his childhood, particularly summer holidays spent in a caravan in Hastings with his two brothers. “11:24: …we spend six, seven weeks down there, just I mean in a caravan, just. And we just roamed around.”
A standout memory involves a playful shark encounter that has left a lasting bond with his siblings. “11:46: …we just swam out there, the three of us, and it was on that and then we see a fin. It was a poise. And Jaws was... I was a shark. …My little brother … he says to me, you left me.”
Parental Loss and Its Aftermath
A poignant segment of the conversation delves into the guest's grief following the sudden death of his mother and the subsequent passing of his father. “13:03: …when the mum died, then my dad died two, three years after.”
He recounts the traumatic day he discovered his mother had fallen and the ensuing turmoil. “13:36: I actually found her. She had a fall in the house… I phoned the ambulance straight away.”
The guest reflects on the lingering regret of not being able to respond adequately during his mother's final moments. “14:14: She called me over the night. … I should have gone over. … What was you gonna. Probably nothing.”
He also touches on the impact on his relationship with his father, acknowledging missed opportunities to support him through grief. “15:51: …we should have sat down and had a chat with him and. And see if we could have done anything if, like, help him a bit more cope with it.”
Memorializing Parents
The guest preserves his parents’ memories through cherished photographs. “16:38: I've got pictures. … They have their own places.”
He describes his favorite photo of his mother in the kitchen, capturing her love for cooking. “16:46: …I've got one of her in the kitchen. … it brings back all the memories.”
Marriage and Parenthood
Wedding Memories
Reflecting on his own wedding, the guest shares a blend of nervousness and joy. “19:02: I got married in Cyprus. On the beach.”
Contrasting his wedding with that of his daughter, who had a more traditional ceremony, he highlights the serene and unique setting of his beach wedding. “19:05: …always wanted to get married on a beach, you know, with sand in her toes.”
Walking His Daughter Down the Aisle
He recounts the emotional experience of walking his daughter down the aisle, despite battling a bad cough. “18:30: …I had a really bad cough. … the vicar said to me, oh, you got to go down at an even pace … slow down, slow down, slow down.”
This moment stands out as a sweet and memorable part of his life’s journey.
Birth of His Child
The guest shares the joyous yet traumatic memory of his daughter's birth, marked by preeclampsia and premature delivery. “24:05: …my daughter was born. … she was six weeks early.”
Despite the challenging circumstances, holding his newborn for the first time remains one of his happiest memories. “24:13: …it was magical. … I held her like that … brilliant.”
Life After Retirement
Future Aspirations
Looking ahead, the postman expresses a desire to retire and relocate away from London to enjoy a quieter life with his wife and possibly a garden. “03:03: …hopefully I'm going to move away from London straight off.”
He contemplates the practicalities of retirement, including the care of his cats and the potential addition of a dog. “20:56: …we have two cats at the moment, but if we move away, we get a dog.”
Emotional Reflections on Retirement
When pondering his final day at work, the guest is unsure about his emotional state but emphasizes his attachment to routine and community. “20:19: …I don't think I'll be emotional.”
He muses about the lasting relationships and daily interactions that define his professional life, underscoring the integral role his work plays in his identity.
Notable Quotes
- “01:33: It's the best. ... It's just magical. Yeah, it's just magical.”
- “04:35: I have one woman. ... she started taking the clothes off. Madness. And then... I just run. Run quickly away sort of thing.”
- “22:46: …privatization, it's destroying it, really.”
- “14:23: …I should have gone over. … What was you gonna. Probably nothing.”
- “19:05: …always wanted to get married on a beach, you know, with sand in her toes.”
Conclusion
Episode 36 of "Strangers on a Bench" offers a profound exploration of life's joys, challenges, and regrets through the lens of a dedicated Royal Mail postman. From cherished family moments and enduring relationships to the pain of sudden loss and the contemplation of retirement, the guest's stories resonate with authenticity and emotional depth. Tom Rosenthal’s empathetic interviewing creates a space for genuine connection, allowing listeners to reflect on their own lives and the intricate tapestry of human experiences.
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