← Strangers on a Bench
Strangers on a Bench
EPISODE 37: Pain Softens Your Heart
00:35:27
Tom Rosenthal talks to strangers on park benches, often leading to surprising revelations.
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- [00:04]
A
Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? What is your favorite day of the week?
- [00:47]
B
My favorite day is a Friday because being a Muslim, I think people gather for prayer and it's known to be like a special day, a day of celebration. You know, you clean yourself, you get dressed, you meet others, and there's this kind of spiritual aspect and a kind of community aspect to it. And also there's a belief that this is when God, Allah created the seven heavens and the earth. So it's a day of, like, celebration. It's also actually an honour in faith to even pass, like, pass away on the day of Friday. It's a. It's like a good sign for a good ending.
- [01:21]
A
Okay, so do you think. You think people are kind of aim to die on that day sometimes? Pray for it?
- [01:29]
B
Not intentional.
- [01:32]
A
I like the idea that it's like 11:45pm on a Thursday. Like, oh, come on, give us 15.
- [01:38]
B
Minutes, take us away.
- [01:40]
A
And then you're absolutely. And then you're absolutely flying.
- [01:42]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [01:43]
A
Do you.
- [01:43]
B
What.
- [01:44]
A
What were kind of your early memories of those Fridays?
- [01:49]
B
I guess early memories is the golden time we had in school on the Friday, and it was just a day where no, you know, no school, work or learning or this and that. It's just you playing. So I remember that was a positive memory, I guess. And also you get the smell of fish and chips on the Friday, right?
- [02:09]
A
Yes.
- [02:10]
B
Yeah. The caramel tart or something.
- [02:12]
A
That is a classic. School Fridays.
- [02:14]
B
Yeah, yeah. So it was like something to look forward to during those days.
- [02:18]
A
So when did you start the kind of the Friday prep? I mean, you know, is there an age where you start usually?
- [02:26]
B
It depends on what kind of household I guess I was. I don't think I was involved, like, as a child maybe, but I would always see my parents dressing up to go to the mosque or something like that, or I see my brothers go out and they go to the mosque. To be fair, I don't feel like I got the experience that I should have got. You know, I think I was deprived of that, which made me really sad. But I think once I grew older and had a bit more freedom to go and then I got to experience that, which was.
- [02:53]
A
Were you deprived of that because of a parental choice or you weren't allowed to be there?
- [02:59]
B
It was a parental thing, women are allowed to be there. But I think it was my parents idea or their version of the religion being implemented.
- [03:10]
A
Can I ask what was their version? Do you know what I mean? So what was their version that meant that you weren't allowed to go to the mosque?
- [03:18]
B
I think it was kind of to keep me isolated. The more I think about my childhood, I understand that there was a different motive by my father. I think. Yeah, I mean, I'd faced a lot of abuse from him. And I think that was the motive is to kind of keep hidden what he would, he was doing to me, my mom, my brothers and things like that. So he would use that as a way to kind of enforce us or keep us, you know, manipulated or in fear. And it was done in a very harsh manner, actually. It was almost like in an objectified way. What I got up front is you're not allowed to go because you're a girl, otherwise you're going to tempt other people. And I'm just like, I'm, I'm a child, you know, I just want to experience certain things. So why is it that I was restricted from all of this? Because actually they would actually send me to like certain Islamic schools. Right. And then I got home and it was completely different attitude. And I just used to think, wait a minute, but being taught this here, this is the religion and you're showing me something else and telling me something else. So I would confront my dad and I would say, you're not allowed to do this, you're not allowed to, you know. And then he got fed up of it. He actually physically abused me. And I think it got to a point where I just ended up becoming silent. Sometimes there would be like an urge to challenge his thoughts and things like that, especially when it came to protecting my mother. And then I. The more I realized my mom was an enabler in all of this abuse, I stopped defending her. Yeah. And I think eventually I kind of had to leave.
- [05:25]
A
Lots of questions for you. But do you recall when you were kind of able to get into a mosque and pray?
- [05:33]
B
Actually, I do have one memory of. Because I, I used to live near a Turkish mosque and I specifically remember the chandelier that they had. It's like a big beautiful chandelier and a blue, like a turquoise mosque. It's really calming and peaceful and I think that's one of, the, one of the memories I actually had of the mosque. I've only been there like four, maybe four times when I was a child. I Actually took my friend there recently. And then I guess reliving that experience was quite nice. Taking my friend and, you know, seeing her enjoy it. She has a daughter as well, so. And it was quiet. So her daughter was just running around free.
- [06:09]
A
That's lovely.
- [06:10]
B
In the mosque. And, yeah, it felt like a part of me healed just to see someone else's child just run around in the mosque because I didn't get to do that.
- [06:26]
A
What are your prayers like now compared to your prayers of childhood and feeling isolated and if you can compare the two experiences. Is that. Is that a weird question? Is that okay?
- [06:40]
B
No, no, absolutely. I'm actually glad you asked that. It's, you know, it was very focused on. You just learn the actions of how to pray and you recite certain prayers that you memorize. But, you know, the memorization, it also felt like a detachment because I was just being told to memorize these things I didn't understand, but now they just come from the heart. I noticed that pain softens your heart. I think it creates empathy, deep empathy for others. I guess the ultimate goal is that it keeps me close to God, especially being so alone. I think my whole purpose is to build that relationship with God. And if he sees that I'm getting attached to someone, might take me away from him, then he would take it away. And at first I thought that was harsh, but I think that is. I think that's the biggest gift that I could ever get and I wouldn't want it any other way.
- [08:04]
A
I mean, she talked earlier about your mum being like an enabler.
- [08:08]
B
Yeah.
- [08:08]
A
And it sounds like from the way you talk about her, like you're kind of almost more angry at her than your dad. Do you also feel at all your dad did to her what he did to the rest of your family? Or is that you feel like they're in. Like they are equally bad? That makes the person.
- [08:30]
B
I would put my dad at the hierarchy of it.
- [08:31]
A
Yeah.
- [08:33]
B
I am angry at my mom because I think she used her victimization as a way to control me and keep me in the abuse. Not only was I being abused there, but I had to support her. And by supporting her, I was an emotional punching bag. I remember my dad, at the time when he was working, used to come home angry, frustrated. I think that's when he would physically abuse her at that time. I remember because it used to happen a lot more in our childhood. And we would watch that and sometimes she would feel frustrated. She wouldn't let out the anger to him, so she would let out on me. So I remember once I was just prancing around in the living room and she was ironing. She got frustrated that I was maybe not listening to her or something. So she put the iron to my head and obviously I started crying. And then she felt bad for doing it. And I thought, oh, because she felt bad, that means my mom's safe. But it was confusion. Like, you hurt me with this. But then I saw her. Oh, because she felt bad, then, you know, that's okay. You know, that was just my reasoning then to kind of cope, I guess. Actually, my dad had. He was getting really angry at my mom. And I'm like, my brother is telling me, oh, go see what's happening downstairs. He was anxious, scared, and he told me to go downstairs because that was my role, to go and save my mom. And I saw what he was doing and he was shouting at her. And I said, you need to stop shouting her. He slapped me. And then I remember I just. And I was holding in my anger, so I just went full on on my dad, like physically. And then the police were involved. He actually ended up being arrested. And then what really hurt me is my mom was coming into the defense of my dad. I guess reflecting on it, I do feel angry.
- [10:43]
A
Do you ever kind of. Do you feel like this is, you know, you can get anyone. I mean, I suppose it is pure luck who your parents are.
- [10:54]
B
Yeah.
- [10:55]
A
And what you're born into. But, like, how much did you think about that kind of growing up or even now to go, like, what are.
- [11:01]
B
The chances There are those thoughts among. Of course you have those thoughts. Sometimes I think, oh, if I was in a more loving, caring home like this, this, like, I feel like I shared a similar personality with someone who's maybe higher up. And then because they had a loving and caring supporting family, they. They're able to achieve this. And I thought, oh, man, I could have achieved this. You know, it was. Yeah. So there was a. There was a constant unsettling in my heart. Unrest, but also understanding that I don't choose my parents. And the more I understood my purpose, the more easier it was to understand and the more content I feel. And, man, I think sometimes I do wish if someone saw my inner world to see how much peace I feel. I think as I'm growing, I'm getting there, I think just feeling more content about certain things. Because I think the, you know, out of all this abuse and the religious, the sexual, the physical, the financial, whatever, is emotional abuse. I think. I think the biggest abuse was when I was taught actually by my parents that my Lord hates me. I think that was the most painful because I felt like I was cut off access from the one thing that could have helped me get out of all this. So I stopped talking to God or I did things out of fear. It was more fear based, I think when I was processing, I think that was the most painful one because I felt like I was already dead. Like, why am I here then? So.
- [12:50]
A
And they were kind of cutting off your only outlet, I suppose, at the time.
- [12:53]
B
Yeah, exactly. As a child, I think I had a very deep connection to God anyway. Like I felt, you know, I would see things, how he would reach out to me. I had a lot of spiritual dreams as well. I knew that God was talking to me in that way that prepared me for certain things. One being that spiritual. We believe in the prophet, peace be upon him. So I remember I saw him in one of my dreams as a child. And they say that these types of dreams, if you see the prophet, then these are from God. And I saw him and I remember he was in my kitchen and I was just following him around. And I was like, I was very. I'm so happy to see you. I'm so glad you're here. But he was giving me. He was staring at my dad in a very like, scary way. Like he was angry at him. So it kind of validated in a way where what my dad was doing to me wasn't okay. And I think those moments makes everything worth it, what I went through. Because it felt very unique to me, the way God spoke to me. If it was through dreams and through certain things, people always used to find me delusional. Like, why does she speak like that? But I think that's the true vision of life. And when you see things like that, you just. Nothing bothers you. Whatever happens, happens. I feel like when you have that belief, not even the belief when you know that God is behind you, nothing can shake you or break you. That's what it feels like and it feels very powerful.
- [14:50]
A
How do you reconcile your parents treatment with you with their views on religion and your upbringing? Do you see what I mean? How do you kind of. How do you make that make sense?
- [15:10]
B
I think it's understanding the intention. So there are certain things like, well, I want to keep my hijab on. In certain places, they're like, no, it's okay, you don't have to wear it. But when it was full, things that didn't apply. I would be told to wear it in the House, I'm just like. But it's not, you know, so it just seemed like it was molded to them. And then it just became clear to me that, okay, these are not people that follow the same thing. I want to follow. How I make my peace with that, really. It's just what they've chosen you. You know, it's like you go your own way, I'll go my own way. In a way, it's been freeing. I think when you, when you stick to your own values and principles, it sets you free. Like, you might not have a lot in the physical sense, but at least you're rich in the heart, you know, at least you can go to sleep or look yourself in the mirror or things like that.
- [16:09]
A
You mentioned obviously that story relating to wearing hijab Inside. When you're young, do you remember those first like moments of it being forced on you and being like, how that felt?
- [16:22]
B
Yeah, it was in primary school and I never wanted to wear it. Like, I didn't understand. I'm just being told to wear something because I'm a girl. Like, okay, but why? You know, I didn't get the reason why. Also the veil, actually, the veil was forced on me and I never wore it. And then when I actually started to learn more about my religion on my own, I actually had put it on. So I'd put on the veil without force.
- [16:48]
A
What age is this?
- [16:49]
B
This was, I believe, 20, 21, 22. I was wearing it for five years.
- [16:56]
A
So you're wearing a veil for five years?
- [16:58]
B
Yeah, on my own, yeah. Because when I started kind of being more in tune with the religion and practicing a bit more, I kind of over exhorted myself because I was going through a lot of mental health issues. So I used to have panic attacks.
- [17:10]
A
Okay.
- [17:11]
B
I'd be wearing the veil and just be. So I just felt like to rip it off and I used to guilt trip myself, like, oh, why am I feeling like this? So, yeah, so that's why I took it off. Because I didn't want to resent the religious. I didn't want to make it feel like, oh, why am I doing this? Because I also had religious trauma as well. I think that kind of played a part in me taking it off. It wasn't that I hated the film. Honestly, when I first put on, I felt like, have you seen those games with like a player levels up and they have like a whole aura? That's literally how I felt when I put it on.
- [17:38]
A
Amazing.
- [17:39]
B
So it's like I, I felt elevated, you know, I felt like a queen because I wasn't confined to what people thought of me anymore. So that was the first intention? Yes.
- [18:00]
A
So is it because of the panic attack, it finally came off for good?
- [18:04]
B
No.
- [18:05]
A
So why did it finally?
- [18:06]
B
I actually went to therapy. And I think, although it started with a good intention, right. As a form of worship, act of worship to God. But then it started to become burdening in a sense where I was starting to use it as safety. You know, being abused by men. I think I felt like I could hide behind it, no one could look at me. Became like a form of protection. I could fit in more, blend in more. And I think once I moved place, that's when I took it off. Because I used to get stalked a lot as well and things like that.
- [18:41]
A
Stalked?
- [18:42]
B
Yeah, strangers, past relationship, people. I was at work, I was married before I was divorced, so I feel like my faceville was a source of protection from him. So he didn't see me or recognize me.
- [18:54]
A
Yeah. So how. What's it. So you were married at some point?
- [19:00]
B
Yes, I was married 2022 and then I divorced 2023. So it was a year.
- [19:05]
A
So I didn't. What. I mean, you feel comfortable. Like, what was that whole experience like for you?
- [19:10]
B
I'm guessing not good divorces as well.
- [19:15]
A
But that's quite quick.
- [19:16]
B
Yeah, it was quick. It was quick because I think he saw me as vulnerable. And I think it was easier to kind of manipulate me, I guess, into a marriage.
- [19:28]
A
What was your wedding like?
- [19:31]
B
It was not even a wedding. It was just a. What you call it?
- [19:35]
A
Registration?
- [19:36]
B
Yeah. Yeah, kind of like that, yeah.
- [19:38]
A
So were your parents there or anything?
- [19:40]
B
No, I was at home, but I didn't tell them I hadn't. Sorry. It's just a lot. It's a lot of.
- [19:47]
A
It's a lot of bits.
- [19:48]
B
Yeah. No, I don't even know.
- [19:50]
A
Right, sorry. You were at home at the time when you met?
- [19:54]
B
Yeah, I was working, so I met him at work. Weirdly. I don't know if people ask this in job interviews, but he was asking me if I was married and had children.
- [20:01]
A
In your job interview?
- [20:02]
B
Yeah. That's strange, right?
- [20:04]
A
That is quite strange, yeah.
- [20:06]
B
And eventually he kind of expressed his motive. And weirdly enough, I don't think I'm the first person he's done this to. And I think there are people that are more vulnerable than me. It gets very dark, I'll be honest. So.
- [20:24]
A
So how did you escape that?
- [20:30]
B
Actually, one of the women I saw in that group, she kind of asked me More about it. And I kind of just, I guess, in my vulnerable state, just blurting out, she goes, this is not okay. What's happening to you?
- [20:44]
A
And then what happened after that?
- [20:45]
B
She was telling me, you need to get out of this. You need to tell him. So I did. I. I think something hit me. And then I just started to address him, like, head on. And before, I think he could see that there was a fear in me when he used to say certain things that manipulated me. And now I'm just like, to hell with this.
- [21:04]
A
Where did that strength come from? You know, how did that happen?
- [21:07]
B
Basically, I remember I was reciting a lot of Quran at the time, and that was bringing me a lot of ease. I was actually turning to the Quran for answers because my mind wasn't clear. I just thought, okay, I'm just going to keep reciting some verses. You know, we have these protection verses for things like this that happen. Then I just kept reciting them, reciting them, and I. I just gradually felt like my spirit was just going. I felt like I was getting an inner strength in me. And given that I've become isolated from everyone. So that was my only calling, and I kind of got my strength from there, and I left.
- [21:47]
A
And then you say he stalked you after that?
- [21:50]
B
No, no, sorry. He didn't stalk me. He didn't stalk me afterwards, but he stalked me during.
- [21:54]
A
Okay.
- [21:54]
B
He would call me. He would say certain things like, oh, I can see you. I was like, where? I'm seeing you from the car over there. And he was watching while I was on the call. And it was just a strange thing to do. Like, if you're on the phone and I would just maybe go to my local grocery shopping, he's like, I'm there in the car. I can see you. Things like that. So it was. Yeah, it was very scary. When I actually left, I had made it seem I didn't have anyone. I just made it seem that I had someone looking out for me. So I said, there are a lot of people that are coming out to get you. So I'll just say things like that.
- [22:30]
A
Love it. Great line. Great line. They're all coming for you.
- [22:34]
B
Yeah, there wasn't much.
- [22:36]
A
20 of them, they just sat at the back.
- [22:38]
B
I just had to make it seem that there was. There was a lot of people behind. He knew the harsh side and the aggressive side of my father. So I think even though my dad. I don't have a relationship with him, I kind of made it seem like he was gonna do something to him, you know, and then part of me was just like, you know, what if they weren't? I. I wouldn't even mind at this point. It was like, someone needs to hurt someone. And they've both hurt me, so it's better they just didn't quite.
- [23:02]
A
It's gonna be quite a good idea.
- [23:03]
B
Yeah.
- [23:04]
A
How do you kind of.
- [23:05]
B
I just have like, very dark humor, to be honest.
- [23:08]
A
Yeah. I mean, I mean, it makes a lot. How do you, like, what do you do after that? I mean, I mean, I suppose that's a big question, but how do you. How do you, like, go about life after these things?
- [23:33]
B
Yeah, it's. It's very. Been very difficult, I think for me as a person. I'm very inward. I think I. I had to use my intuition a lot, I guess, to be very introspective. So from coming out of it, I think I had to start learning more and understanding why things happened. There was a lot of shame. There was a lot of, how can you settle for this or that? For me, I understood. That's all I know. You know, they say that there's a. Some people prefer a familiar hell than a unfamiliar heaven. Yeah, right. Yeah. I ended up hitting rock bottom, I.
- [24:03]
A
Guess, after that, after the divorce, you know, basically what you're saying, there was.
- [24:08]
B
Another story, but the divorce is another story, not divorce. And then another thing happened and that's when I hit Rockwell.
- [24:14]
A
Oh, gosh.
- [24:15]
B
Yeah.
- [24:16]
A
I mean, can you say briefly what that was?
- [24:18]
B
It was a repeat of kind of the divorce.
- [24:21]
A
What does that mean?
- [24:22]
B
So. Meaning that there was another man, I moved to another workplace and then the same thing happened again.
- [24:27]
A
No.
- [24:28]
B
Yeah. That's when I hit rock bottom. Yeah.
- [24:31]
A
And you were married again then?
- [24:32]
B
Yeah.
- [24:33]
A
Obviously you'd be married twice.
- [24:34]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [24:35]
A
How did it happen again?
- [24:37]
B
The same thing. It was just the same. I was moved to another workplace and then the same thing happened again. With control and things like that. Yeah. Because at that time, I think mentally, physically, emotionally, I was exhausted. I was self harming as well. And yeah, it was just really tiring. I think my. I'd had enough. And then I kind of went a bit into a depression and randomly I searched psychotherapist because I was waiting for NHS for a very long time and they went responding and I felt like by the time they responded, I would have probably killed myself. That's what it felt like. And so I just went independent and I just laid out all in the form there. And then as soon as I did, I got a call straight away from this private psychotherapist who has literally been a light in my darkness. And she. Yeah, she. She really helped me get out of it. I think if I hadn't gone to her, I generally felt like it would have been the same. Repeat again. Yeah. And we just started unpacking all these things, like why and how. Because everything just seemed like a blur to me. And I know that I'm going to slowly unpack things, and I almost feel like something heavy is about to fall on me. I think it's a very core wound or memory in a childhood that my brain is avoiding to not think. And I've always felt misunderstood, you know, my pain and my experiences and things like that, you know.
- [26:17]
A
Do you think anyone has ever understood you?
- [26:19]
B
Yes. One of them would be a friend I had at the last. Not the last workplace, but the workplace that traumatised me, the last workplace that traumatized me. I guess she felt like a soul sister.
- [26:30]
A
Was this the one that warned. That said that wasn't it? Okay, that's a separate.
- [26:34]
B
That's a different one. Yeah.
- [26:35]
A
Talk to me about your soul sister.
- [26:37]
B
I remember the first time I met her, she was just very accommodating, very friendly, very kind. Immediately, I almost felt like there was a comfort there, you know? And I was telling her that. I just feel like I've known you, you know, this and that. And I don't think she fully understood me, but I think she understood me to a level that I needed to be understood. She validated a lot of my feelings, a lot of my pain. It was heartwarming to see someone that had. I found with empathy because I feel like I didn't have that for a long time. It was just overwhelming sometimes. Like, she would just ask me specific things. What would you like? This and that. And I think having someone say that to me for the first time, I guess to get that one thing, you know, it just felt. Yeah, it felt like a warm hug. Yeah.
- [27:43]
A
Going forward in your life, how much do you want to use what has happened to you as a way of kind of springboarding into something positive or that might be helping others or whatever that may be? And how much of it do you just want to just forget?
- [28:03]
B
I guess. Moving on now, I'd want to go the psychology route and be maybe a psychotherapist and help other people. I think God has given me the ability to give someone very deep validation. I've done that in previous jobs, and that's something that really draws me. I just want someone to be heard. Yeah.
- [28:24]
A
I Think you've got it. I mean, not to jump too far ahead here, but I feel like you do have, like, a lot of natural empathy in you. You know, I feel like. I just feel that, you know.
- [28:33]
B
Yeah.
- [28:33]
A
And I feel like you. You would be able to help a lot of people if you. If you went down that route. Not to say you should always do what you.
- [28:40]
B
Of course, yeah. I mean, it's only. It's only fair. And I've not. I've noticed things like some people just randomly off the street, they were just coming offload to me. I'm like, am I giving therapist vibes? Like, what's, what's going on? Sometimes I do try to be intentional. So I'd wear green to show that I'm trying to be calm and things like that.
- [28:57]
A
That is a good color.
- [28:58]
B
Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, there's a lot of people that are being, you know, misunderstood and they just need to be heard. I hope to hear.
- [29:21]
A
So, joy, let's talk about joy.
- [29:23]
B
Yeah.
- [29:26]
A
What was your last moment of joy in your life?
- [29:33]
B
I'm very simple. I guess I enjoy feeding the birds, so I just did that probably before we came here. Also getting other people involved in those kind of things. I gave a few seeds to the mum so she can give it to her son to feed the birds. And I could just see the joy in him. So I was happy to be a part of that.
- [29:53]
A
Does that mean you always carry seeds with you?
- [29:56]
B
Yeah. Bird food.
- [29:57]
A
Amazing.
- [29:57]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [29:58]
A
What's your. What's your seed? What's your bird feeding technique? You know, what do you just like. Obviously you gotta, like, spread it about a bit.
- [30:04]
B
Yeah, spread it about. And then you know what, some of the birds that, on the outside, I noticed them and if you throw it at them, they run away. So I thought, I'm going to go somewhere far. I'll drop the seeds there in. Hoping that they would go. They find that sweet. Birds on the outside, I'm like, oh, the outsider. I was wondering.
- [30:23]
A
So, yeah, any favorite birds? Anyone's you're particularly attached to? We might get a few more seeds.
- [30:30]
B
You know what robin I've been feeding recently? There is one robin outside my window that comes often to say hello. So I would give it food and stuff like that. You know what one of my weird dreams I had as a child was? I wanted to be a farmer. And I just like the field. I just like the openness. And I felt like the sky was my ceiling, so. Because every time I used to drive out of London far and I would just look at the fields and I think, oh, man, it would be so cool to just run around in the fields. Probably not to be a farmer, but I just like the scenario of what farmers.
- [31:03]
A
That's what farmers do, famously, is run around.
- [31:06]
B
It was just so freeing, you know, it looked very freeing and I felt like I would enjoy it.
- [31:11]
A
Being a farmer if something can happen.
- [31:16]
B
I doubt it. I really doubt it.
- [31:19]
A
How do I just find a farm?
- [31:20]
B
Just find a farm.
- [31:21]
A
Let's just find a farm. Yeah. What is your dream farm?
- [31:24]
B
Actually, now it is. When I imagine a farm, I just think that the, you know, the tall grass enough where I can. I feel like I'm covered, but I can just run through it so no one sees you. So that's what it feels like. I. I would want. So I could just run.
- [31:40]
A
I love the idea. You get on your farm, just do the sprinting around. People walk past. Is that the sprinting around the farm? Yeah, yeah, the sprinting farmer, exactly.
- [31:49]
B
There you go.
- [31:50]
A
Are you a good runner?
- [31:52]
B
No, actually, in another way, you are a good mother. Yeah, very good.
- [31:59]
A
You've run from a lot of stuff.
- [32:00]
B
Yeah. There you go. You know, I really love to do archery as well. I feel like I would have good aim.
- [32:06]
A
Why do you feel like you would have good aim out of. Interesting?
- [32:08]
B
I don't know. I felt.
- [32:09]
A
You just feel it.
- [32:10]
B
Yeah. And usually when I was a kid, I used a thing where I'd scrunch a piece of paper and throw it in there, and I was always very accurate with that. I remember we had a water balloon fight during childhood with my friends at school, and like, I could predict that they were going to walk through under the post, so I thought I hit the post and the water would fall down on them. So, yeah, I was quite good with throwing stuff, I guess.
- [32:37]
A
Perfect. Perfect. So great. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah. I've got to ask you the last question, which is, what are you going to do next?
- [32:50]
B
I am going to go back into uni, study, do what I need to do. Head down, I guess, focus on healing. I'm gonna take a nap.
- [33:05]
A
I hope it's a lovely rest of the day for you.
- [33:07]
B
Thank you. Thank you very much.