Episode 39: The Runaway

Podcast: Strangers on a Bench
Host: Tom Rosenthal
Release Date: June 9, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 39 of Strangers on a Bench, Tom Rosenthal engages in a heartfelt and revealing conversation with an anonymous grandmother who shares her tumultuous journey from adolescence to her present life. This episode delves deep into themes of youth rebellion, familial relationships, mental health struggles, and resilience in the face of adversity.

Running Away at 15

The conversation begins with the grandmother reminiscing about her decision to run away from home at the tender age of 15.

Grandmother (00:27): "I ran away from home when I was 15."

She recounts waking up one morning with the impulsive decision to head to London, leaving behind her life in Dublin and the complications of a relationship with a 19-year-old boyfriend.

Grandmother (03:37): "I just woke up one morning and said to my mum, we're going to town and ended up in London."

Her journey included hitchhiking and bunking at one of the first Glastonbury Festivals, showcasing a youthful spirit of adventure despite the risks involved.

Life in London and Support from a Gay Couple

Upon arriving in London, the grandmother found herself lost and vulnerable. A compassionate gay couple at a pub took her in, providing her with shelter and guidance for a year.

Grandmother (04:56): "They just adopted me, you know. ... But he adopted. Kept an eye on me all the time."

Living with them, she gained invaluable lessons in compassion and broadened her understanding of the LGBTQ+ community during a time when societal acceptance was limited.

Grandmother (06:31): "Compassion. A lot of compassion."

This relationship not only offered her stability but also introduced her to the vibrant London cultural scene, allowing her to witness iconic figures like Mick Jagger and Jimi Hendrix firsthand.

Reuniting with Family and Early Motherhood

Two years after running away, the Salvation Army nuns located her, leading to a reunion with her mother. This moment was fraught with emotional complexity, as both mother and daughter grappled with their separation.

Grandmother (09:05): "She was in bits. You don't realize the hurt because you're young, you want to do your own thing."

Shortly after, at 17, she married and became a mother at 18. This early motherhood was marked by severe antenatal depression, necessitating her mother's intervention.

Grandmother (09:56): "I couldn't stop crying. Oh, no. So my mum came over and she was three months old and she said, I'm taking her home with me."

Mental Health Struggles and Coping Mechanisms

Throughout her narrative, the grandmother candidly discusses her ongoing battle with depressive episodes, hinting at a borderline personality disorder.

Grandmother (12:24): "It's terrible. It's like I haven't been diagnosed but I've got a borderline personality."

She shares her coping strategies, primarily revolving around her grandchildren's well-being, which serve as a beacon of hope during her darkest times.

Grandmother (13:10): "My go to method is thinking, oh, my God, my grandchildren are growing up..."

Battling Breast Cancer

A pivotal moment in her story is her diagnosis with breast cancer five years prior to the interview. Her intuition, perhaps even sensing her illness through her dog, led her to seek medical attention just in time.

Grandmother (14:19): "My daughter has got a Highland dog, you know, so we take her for walks. ... My dog must have sensed it."

Undergoing surgery and chemotherapy, she endured significant physical and emotional challenges, including hair loss and severe side effects from treatment.

Grandmother (16:06): "I was on so much chemo, I got blisters. Huge blisters on my feet."

Her resilient spirit shone through as she maintained her sense of humor, becoming the "soul of the ward" and uplifting others around her.

Grandmother (16:19): "Some of them are really sad if you don't go and start laughing and making people laugh..."

Reflections on Family and Legacy

The grandmother expresses deep-seated gratitude and regret towards her mother, acknowledging the strained relationship caused by her departure.

Grandmother (18:13): "My mum, but it's too late."

She reflects on her father's struggles and the eventual dissolution of her parents' marriage, pondering the complexities of love and commitment.

Grandmother (19:40): "Why didn't they stick it out?"

Personal Insights and Closing Thoughts

Towards the end of the episode, she contemplates her desires for contentment and happiness, acknowledging the challenges in achieving lasting fulfillment.

Grandmother (17:05): "Strive to be happy and not even happy, you know, contented..."

When asked about her future, she remains optimistic yet uncertain, expressing a desire for continued excitement in her life.

Grandmother (24:17): "What am I going to do next? God knows, I don't know yet. But I'm sure it's going to be something exciting."

Conclusion

This episode of Strangers on a Bench offers a profound glimpse into the life of a woman who has navigated significant hardships with grace and fortitude. From escaping a tumultuous home life to overcoming mental health challenges and battling cancer, her story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Tom Rosenthal successfully fosters an environment of trust and openness, allowing listeners to connect deeply with the grandmother's extraordinary experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Grandmother on Mother's Reaction (09:05): "She was in bits. You don't realize the hurt because you're young, you want to do your own thing..."

• On Coping with Depression (13:10): "My go to method is thinking, oh, my God, my grandchildren are growing up..."

• Reflecting on Happiness (17:05): "Strive to be happy and not even happy, you know, contented..."

Strangers on a Bench continues to shed light on the hidden lives of London's park bench dwellers, offering listeners intimate and authentic stories that resonate on a universal level.