EPISODE 39: The Runaway

Summary

Episode 39: The Runaway

Podcast: Strangers on a Bench
Host: Tom Rosenthal
Release Date: June 9, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 39 of Strangers on a Bench, Tom Rosenthal engages in a heartfelt and revealing conversation with an anonymous grandmother who shares her tumultuous journey from adolescence to her present life. This episode delves deep into themes of youth rebellion, familial relationships, mental health struggles, and resilience in the face of adversity.

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Running Away at 15

The conversation begins with the grandmother reminiscing about her decision to run away from home at the tender age of 15.

Grandmother (00:27): "I ran away from home when I was 15."

She recounts waking up one morning with the impulsive decision to head to London, leaving behind her life in Dublin and the complications of a relationship with a 19-year-old boyfriend.

Grandmother (03:37): "I just woke up one morning and said to my mum, we're going to town and ended up in London."

Her journey included hitchhiking and bunking at one of the first Glastonbury Festivals, showcasing a youthful spirit of adventure despite the risks involved.

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Life in London and Support from a Gay Couple

Upon arriving in London, the grandmother found herself lost and vulnerable. A compassionate gay couple at a pub took her in, providing her with shelter and guidance for a year.

Grandmother (04:56): "They just adopted me, you know. ... But he adopted. Kept an eye on me all the time."

Living with them, she gained invaluable lessons in compassion and broadened her understanding of the LGBTQ+ community during a time when societal acceptance was limited.

Grandmother (06:31): "Compassion. A lot of compassion."

This relationship not only offered her stability but also introduced her to the vibrant London cultural scene, allowing her to witness iconic figures like Mick Jagger and Jimi Hendrix firsthand.

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Reuniting with Family and Early Motherhood

Two years after running away, the Salvation Army nuns located her, leading to a reunion with her mother. This moment was fraught with emotional complexity, as both mother and daughter grappled with their separation.

Grandmother (09:05): "She was in bits. You don't realize the hurt because you're young, you want to do your own thing."

Shortly after, at 17, she married and became a mother at 18. This early motherhood was marked by severe antenatal depression, necessitating her mother's intervention.

Grandmother (09:56): "I couldn't stop crying. Oh, no. So my mum came over and she was three months old and she said, I'm taking her home with me."

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Mental Health Struggles and Coping Mechanisms

Throughout her narrative, the grandmother candidly discusses her ongoing battle with depressive episodes, hinting at a borderline personality disorder.

Grandmother (12:24): "It's terrible. It's like I haven't been diagnosed but I've got a borderline personality."

She shares her coping strategies, primarily revolving around her grandchildren's well-being, which serve as a beacon of hope during her darkest times.

Grandmother (13:10): "My go to method is thinking, oh, my God, my grandchildren are growing up..."

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Battling Breast Cancer

A pivotal moment in her story is her diagnosis with breast cancer five years prior to the interview. Her intuition, perhaps even sensing her illness through her dog, led her to seek medical attention just in time.

Grandmother (14:19): "My daughter has got a Highland dog, you know, so we take her for walks. ... My dog must have sensed it."

Undergoing surgery and chemotherapy, she endured significant physical and emotional challenges, including hair loss and severe side effects from treatment.

Grandmother (16:06): "I was on so much chemo, I got blisters. Huge blisters on my feet."

Her resilient spirit shone through as she maintained her sense of humor, becoming the "soul of the ward" and uplifting others around her.

Grandmother (16:19): "Some of them are really sad if you don't go and start laughing and making people laugh..."

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Reflections on Family and Legacy

The grandmother expresses deep-seated gratitude and regret towards her mother, acknowledging the strained relationship caused by her departure.

Grandmother (18:13): "My mum, but it's too late."

She reflects on her father's struggles and the eventual dissolution of her parents' marriage, pondering the complexities of love and commitment.

Grandmother (19:40): "Why didn't they stick it out?"

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Personal Insights and Closing Thoughts

Towards the end of the episode, she contemplates her desires for contentment and happiness, acknowledging the challenges in achieving lasting fulfillment.

Grandmother (17:05): "Strive to be happy and not even happy, you know, contented..."

When asked about her future, she remains optimistic yet uncertain, expressing a desire for continued excitement in her life.

Grandmother (24:17): "What am I going to do next? God knows, I don't know yet. But I'm sure it's going to be something exciting."

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Conclusion

This episode of Strangers on a Bench offers a profound glimpse into the life of a woman who has navigated significant hardships with grace and fortitude. From escaping a tumultuous home life to overcoming mental health challenges and battling cancer, her story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Tom Rosenthal successfully fosters an environment of trust and openness, allowing listeners to connect deeply with the grandmother's extraordinary experiences.

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Notable Quotes:

• Grandmother on Mother's Reaction (09:05): "She was in bits. You don't realize the hurt because you're young, you want to do your own thing..."

• On Coping with Depression (13:10): "My go to method is thinking, oh, my God, my grandchildren are growing up..."

• Reflecting on Happiness (17:05): "Strive to be happy and not even happy, you know, contented..."

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Strangers on a Bench continues to shed light on the hidden lives of London's park bench dwellers, offering listeners intimate and authentic stories that resonate on a universal level.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? What's your favorite day of the week?

[Grandmother]

Wednesday.

[Podcast Host]

That's a good one. Right in the middle.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Why is it Wednesday?

[Grandmother]

I don't know. I always have a good feeling because the blues of the Monday still carries on a bit of the Tuesday. By Wednesday you're up and about and ready to enjoy the rest of the week.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So you're feeling good today? Yeah, fantastic. Now, what would you say is your kind of ideal Wednesday? What's a really nice solid day for you?

[Grandmother]

Well, to wake up in the morning, you know, just do your own thing, go and collect the grandchildren from school, we, which I love, and then usually take them for a little bit something to eat and find out what's going on in their world. You know, they're 13 and 11, so.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, lovely.

[Grandmother]

And it keeps you young.

[Podcast Host]

What's it like to be a grandparent?

[Grandmother]

Oh, it's lovely. The best thing in the world to be a grandmother. You know what it is? You can give them back when they annoy you.

[Podcast Host]

That's the magic, isn't it?

[Grandmother]

You can go out and spoil them rotten, fill them full of chocolate and everything. Especially if your daughter's done something naughty on you. Give them Coca Cola, good sugar rush in it, send them home.

[Podcast Host]

That's very.

[Grandmother]

I like it. Got your back.

[Podcast Host]

Have you found yourself intervening at all with any of the grandchildren? Have you found yourself jumping in at any point?

[Grandmother]

I do my 13 year old granddaughter, because she's interested in boys now and everything like that. And I keep on telling her it's okay to have boys to go out with and be friends with. But don't get sick serious.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Grandmother]

And don't get serious with boys in your own school. The fallout's terrible.

[Podcast Host]

That's quite wise. It's like not having a. Dating a colleague at work or something.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Did you get in trouble with boys at any point in your life?

[Grandmother]

I was always in trouble with boys.

[Podcast Host]

How old were you when you got in trouble with boys?

[Grandmother]

I ran away from home when I was 15.

[Podcast Host]

Did you?

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Now that's. That's interesting.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Can you tell me about that?

[Grandmother]

Yeah. I just woke up one morning and said to my mum, we're going to town and ended up in London.

[Podcast Host]

Whoa. How far away were you?

[Grandmother]

Dublin.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, now that is running away.

[Grandmother]

Yeah. It was in the days when you could hitchhike.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And that's what you did?

[Grandmother]

Yeah, I hitchhiked. I got off a holy head, went to Glastonbury Festival. Bunked into Glastonbury Festival. It was one of the first festivals. Glastonbury was only a little field, you know, they had no such thing as security.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my God. Amazing.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So you. So many questions come into my head. How long he'd been planning to run away. Was it an impetuous decision?

[Grandmother]

No. I had a boyfriend and he was 19 and I was only 15.

[Podcast Host]

And where was the boyfriend?

[Grandmother]

In Dublin.

[Podcast Host]

And you ran away together?

[Grandmother]

No. No.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, so you ran away from him as well?

[Grandmother]

I ran away from him because my mum was threatening one of those court cases. Underage, you know, and everything. He was 19 and things like that. So I thought, get Elvis Aid Mall, a lot of trouble just went off and then his.

[Podcast Host]

Whens did you. Can you remember the moment you decided to go? As in just wake up and decide.

[Grandmother]

No, I went into town. So that's it, I'm off. And I only had the clothes that I was standing in and about 10 pound.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my God. Do you remember who was. Who gave you lifts? You remember the concert?

[Grandmother]

Yeah. A lot of lorry drivers and things like that wanted me, you better go home and everything like that. You shouldn't be on the road, you know, you're very, very young.

[Podcast Host]

So all these lorry drivers are saying, go back. And you. And you said, no.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, that was it. And then my mum and dad didn't find me. They went through Interpol, everything. And it was the salvation. The nuns. Salvation army nuns. Got you knocking at the door and Shovel's Bush after two years.

[Podcast Host]

Two years, yeah. Okay. So I've just got this absolute mountain of questions in my head. You arrive in London as a 15 year old.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Do you remember that feeling of just landing?

[Grandmother]

I ended up in Laverick Grove in Finches. At the pub in Laverick Grove. I always remember that. And I thought Laverick Grove was the hole in London.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Grandmother]

Because Dublin was so small at that time, you know, Ireland so small. And I think this is the hole in London. This is it. This is where I am. And I only had a sleeping bag. And one of these two guys were in the pub and they were saying to me, you cannot sleep on the street. You're too young. Yeah. Luckily they took me back to their place. And they were gay.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. That's.

[Grandmother]

I lived with them for a Year, they just adopted me, you know.

[Podcast Host]

And you were literally just by this pub?

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And then they just adopted you for a year?

[Grandmother]

Yeah, I got my own place after a year, but he adopted. Kept an eye on me all the time, you know. Got me my first job in the roundhouse in London when it was only a barn.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Grandmother]

You know, there was only sawdust on the floor in the back. Convinced him I was aging, got a job behind the barn, that was it. But I've seen so many. I've seen the Stones life, I've seen Mark Bolland, I've seen Jimi Hendrix, the lot, you know, because that's the way it was in those days. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So this gay couple who looked after you for a year, did you keep in touch with them?

[Grandmother]

Yeah, yeah. They live in Portugal at the moment. You know, like he's getting on a bit.

[Podcast Host]

He's 90 now, although they're still around. Yeah.

[Grandmother]

But he's quite. Partner died, so that was sad.

[Podcast Host]

But what an amazing thing to do for someone.

[Grandmother]

It was amazing, you know, like I always say to God, you know, somebody's up there looking after me because the scrapes and everything you could have got yourself into.

[Podcast Host]

Did you have a kind of inner confidence at that point?

[Grandmother]

No, I was really a shy, quiet kid, you know, really shy. But at that age I was very, very pretty. So that got me away with murder to Danny, the gay guy. Yeah, I was a child. I shouldn't be let out without a chaperone.

[Podcast Host]

And so they became kind of parental figures.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, parents, you know, all I had to do is housework, you know, and cook now and again.

[Podcast Host]

What did you learn from them?

[Grandmother]

Compassion. A lot of compassion. And that day and age old gays weren't acceptable, you know, and how they had to live and everything like that, you know, it's just a joke.

[Podcast Host]

Did you have any. Out of interest, did you have any perceptions about gay people that. That before you met her?

[Grandmother]

The only one that I knew was gay. And I remember saying, having a conversation with my mother because she had a big thing about Rock Hudson. And I said, you know, mum, he's gay. You know, he doesn't like women. And my mum said, get into that bathroom and wash her from out. That would soap. Oh God. Oh God, that is such a dirty, horrible thing to say about that man. How can such a good looking man be? I said, it happens.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And so it was kind of an eye opener for you as well, to live with a gay couple.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, yeah. You know, like I've always said to my Daughters when they're having children, you know, I would go, lucky, we might get a gay one out of them. And I always say.

[Podcast Host]

Fingers crossed for a gay one. Come on.

[Grandmother]

Yeah. And it doesn't matter what your kids are, when they're happy. That's it. Happy and healthy. Health is the most important thing, 100%.

[Podcast Host]

And so, right, we're living with the gays for a year and then we are out. Living on your own now at 16. And so what was that like?

[Grandmother]

That's when my mum found me. I had a flat in Shepherd's Butch.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So your mum found you first or the nuns?

[Grandmother]

The nuns found me.

[Podcast Host]

And then they told your mum. Do you remember what? So you're waking one day, take me through that day where the nuns come.

[Grandmother]

Shock. I was in the bed sitting with my boyfriend and I was knocking the door. I couldn't believe they traced me through the Salvation army for some way. I don't know how they did it.

[Podcast Host]

How many nuns are we talking at the door?

[Grandmother]

2.

[Podcast Host]

And they looking very serious.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, you know, the Catholics.

[Podcast Host]

And do they take you away at that time or.

[Grandmother]

How old? No, no, no, no, no. I was 16 then, you know, so then my mum came over, she wanted to take me back. And I go, no. But we made up. We were angry with each other anymore. We made up. But there was no point in me. I'm so used to London. Then there was no point in me going home. And then I met my husband and I got married when I was 17. Had my first daughter at 18.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, whoa. Love it. Okay, straight in there. Okay, let's get back to 18 in a second. I just want to go back to your mum seeing you after all that time and what that was like. I mean, surely she must have been. What did she say to you?

[Grandmother]

She was in bits. You don't realize the hurt because you're young, you want to do your own thing. You don't realize the hurt you cause.

[Podcast Host]

Of course.

[Grandmother]

And as my sister said, she was never the same after you disappeared. She went to pieces. She was never the same. And my sister always blames me about my mom not being the mother she could have been to her. It wasn't me.

[Podcast Host]

That's tough though, isn't it?

[Grandmother]

Yeah, but you don't know at that age, do you? You sat back and took time to think. Think you wouldn't do. You wouldn't hurt people.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly. Well, I mean, what an amazingly bold move to make as well. At the 15. Okay, 18. You're having a child. What Is it like to be a mother at 18?

[Grandmother]

Couldn't do it without my mother, yes.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, so your mum then helped?

[Grandmother]

Yeah. What happened was I got really bad antenatal depression.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, dear.

[Grandmother]

Really, really bad.

[Podcast Host]

What was that like?

[Grandmother]

Oh, it was terrible. I couldn't stop crying. Oh, no. So my mum came over and she was three months old and she said, I'm taking her home with me. I didn't get her back for a year later. Yeah, because my mum thought I wasn't in a fit state because the doctor put me on loads of medication for depression and things, but I couldn't function.

[Podcast Host]

Missing that first year of your daughter's life? Almost. What was that like?

[Grandmother]

It was terrible. I didn't feel she was mine. It took me ages to reconnect, you know. And then I went home after my marriage, I went home with her. I used to come back and forth, get jobs here and go back. And she saved my grandmother. And then when she was 8, I took her up to London completely. So my second one was like brand new again.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, of course. So that redemption.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, that redemption.

[Podcast Host]

So being such a young mum, 18. I mean, what. I suppose it changed the course of your life completely.

[Grandmother]

Well, that was 53 years ago. My daughter's got 53 this year.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, wow. What's it like having a 53 year old daughter?

[Grandmother]

She likes to play mother and I like to let her.

[Podcast Host]

Do you mean mothering you? Oh, that's sweet.

[Grandmother]

The two of them are like that. The two of them mother me, both my children. My granddaughter is stepping on the wagon now, you know.

[Podcast Host]

So you have an army of people mothering you. Do you still have that sense of, I don't know, wild abandon that.

[Grandmother]

Oh, yeah. I feel some days I could leave the house and I'll come back again.

[Podcast Host]

What would you.

[Grandmother]

What would you not 72. You can't be doing things like that now.

[Podcast Host]

You can't. You can.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Where would you, where would you, where would you go? What would you do?

[Grandmother]

Well, I have my passport. I haven't got a passport now. And we think. My sister said, look, if you get a passport we can go away. Things like that might help. Passport, we might not see it for months.

[Podcast Host]

Also, they still, they still have a fear that actually if you had a passport, yes, you would be off.

[Grandmother]

And I've got this terrible habit. If I'm really down and I get one of my depressive moves, I won't pick up my phone, I won't talk to anybody. I just disappear into my own world and I Get my elder starting to phone. Come on, it's been six weeks now. Answer your bloody phone.

[Podcast Host]

Tell me about your depressive moods, how often they happen?

[Grandmother]

They're terrible. It's like I haven't been diagnosed but I've got a borderline personality. But it's not towards anybody else, towards myself. I'm self destructive.

[Podcast Host]

Do you know what triggers it at all? What brings it on? It's just.

[Grandmother]

It's just like I could be. I could leave my daughter's house. This is what they can't understand. Like, I can leave my daughter's house really happy. Happy. Whatever happens to me the next day, if I wake up, the world seems a dark and dreadful place. Completely different mood swing.

[Podcast Host]

So it can just. You literally can wake up and just that flick of a switch that day. Tell me how you. When you're in a depressive episode, what do you do to try and make yourself any better? Like, what's your kind of go to method?

[Grandmother]

My go to method is thinking, oh, my God, my grandchildren are growing up and here am I feeling sorry for myself and they're growing up and they'll be teenagers soon, which they are. Two of them are now, I thought, hang on. And then one of them would come on the phone and the minute I hear those voices, the mood switches.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that's nice.

[Grandmother]

Yeah. So I'm back in the land of the living.

[Podcast Host]

Do you get them to call you or do you call them?

[Grandmother]

No, their mum gets one of the kids. She knows I might not answer to the adults, but, you know, so after.

[Podcast Host]

After a few times she's rang you, you haven't picked up, then she gets.

[Grandmother]

They get the kids and it's like when I go to pick up the kids, my eldest daughter, I often say to her, look, I'll meet you and then I won't bother, you know. But like with the kids, she always say, make sure you're there. I said, I might leave yous there. I wouldn't leave the.

[Podcast Host]

Tell me what you're doing in your life when you're feeling most alive.

[Grandmother]

I'm usually out walking or I'm usually out with the grandchildren walking or doing them at fun fairs or doing crazy things with them, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Where do you walk? What's your favorite walking route?

[Grandmother]

Hampstead Feet? Primrose Hill, all the way around there. Because my daughter has got a Highland dog, you know, so we take her for walks. She got really attached to me because I had cancer, hadn't I, five years ago, breast cancer. So I had my breasts removed and the funny thing about the dog, just before the cancer was discovered, I kept jumping up and licking me all over my neck. What's wrong? The dog must have sensed it. And it was. Funny thing, on the Friday, I made an appointment with the doctor. The week after he did the scan. Yeah. Left breast cancer.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my God. It's amazing.

[Grandmother]

And then when I was on my chemo, the dogs used to come up. My hair fell out. They used to come up and lick the top of my head.

[Podcast Host]

That's amazing.

[Grandmother]

So when the dogs make a really big fuss at me now and start licking me on the head, I would go away.

[Podcast Host]

Not now, not again. Don't lick me there. Yeah, yeah. Tell me what the experience was like, was having cancer, if you have to think about it.

[Grandmother]

Well, my daughter, when I told her, she didn't believe me. So she said, I'm going to the surgeon with you.

[Podcast Host]

Why didn't she believe you?

[Grandmother]

She thought, well, you know, it doesn't even run in the family, you know. She went to the doctor and found out what it is. So it was the operation, you know, and then they just. I seen the surgeon and they got it. He said, she's so lucky we got her. It's in the one place. And when I seen the surgeon after, he said, we got her all out.

[Podcast Host]

Fantastic.

[Grandmother]

And then another year of chemo and everything else, which is horrible. You lose your hair, you know. My daughter's a hairdresser, so she said to me, come on, time to. It was coming out in patches. I woke up in the morning, was on the pillow. So she said, I'm going to shave her off. So she kept it shaved.

[Podcast Host]

What was that experience like of shaving your hair?

[Grandmother]

I was expecting it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, but what does it feel like? I mean, what did it. You know, what was it?

[Grandmother]

It is just get over. You just think, well, saving your life, you know. And then I was on so much chemo, I got blisters. Huge blisters on my feet.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Grandmother]

Which I couldn't walk. Went back into the doctor and he turned around and said, we've overcooked you. But that's the bad thing we had, you know, because when you go into a chemo ward, it's full of patients on chemo and everything, and some of them are really sad if you don't go and start laughing and making people laugh, because people that are dying have a very good sense of humor, you know. So I was the life of. Soul of the war.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I bet. Let's imagine you have lots of years left I hope. But what would you like to do with the roommate the rest of your life?

[Grandmother]

It's very hard. Strive to be happy and not even happy, you know, contented, you know. You know, you can have everything you want in life and there's something missing. But if you got that feeling that, okay, I'm content now, it's very hard to achieve, though.

[Podcast Host]

It is hard to achieve. Have you tried any new things recently to try and achieve it?

[Grandmother]

My daughter signed me off to the gym.

[Podcast Host]

How's that going?

[Grandmother]

I've got three really physical grandchildren. Right. They're like football, rugby.

[Podcast Host]

Do you shout from the sidelines?

[Grandmother]

No.

[Podcast Host]

You're quite observant.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, I know. I see Dan Stevenage, who my little grandson plays. They're terrible. You know, they have bust the parents having bus stops, you know, and you're thinking, hang on, this is a game, you know, this is not.

[Podcast Host]

I think they let out their repressed kind of, you know, they don't get. They don't get to do it themselves.

[Grandmother]

Calling out a referee. I think it's disgusting. They're children, they're playing a game, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Who in your life. This is a bit of a random question. Who in your life, sorry, in your lifetime would you most like to say thank you to who you feel like you didn't thank enough?

[Grandmother]

My mum.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Grandmother]

But it's too late.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. What would you. I mean, let's imagine if mother appeared from somewhere.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

What would you say to her?

[Grandmother]

Never thank her enough.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Grandmother]

Yeah. And she died in Ireland. We got the phone call. My sister was in Ireland. She gave me a phone call. You better come now. I was an hour late. So you never really get the chance, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Did you discover anything about your mum after she died that you didn't know about her before that?

[Grandmother]

No. No, I think. I think I got my mum really good, you know. And then my dad, my dad was in the British army, so. But yeah, my dad was beautiful looking man, six foot three and a half. But then again here, it's such a gambling habit. And the funny thing was at 15 years before he died, my mum kicked him out after all those years.

[Podcast Host]

So she went through all the years of tough stuff and then. What was the straw that broke the camel's back, do you think?

[Grandmother]

I think that nothing was going to change and she'd be better off with Del, which in the end she wasn't because when she died we had to get my dad in a wheelchair from the hospital because he was ill then and you know, the cars are passing so you could salute her. And I'm thinking there the two of them are, her worrying about him, him at the funeral and crying his eyes out. Just why didn't they stick it out?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah. What was the experience like of him dying?

[Grandmother]

Yeah, he died in hospital so that wasn't too bad. My sister did most of that, you know, but I did my most. Yeah, my mom. Yeah. So that was it. And that's when they say to me, my daughter, what's going to happen after you die? I said, all you're going to do is go pure cremation. You can sprinkle me all around.

[Podcast Host]

Oh nice.

[Grandmother]

So she said, what about flowers and everything? I said ridiculous. Flowers are for the living.

[Podcast Host]

This is true. Do you know what you would want your funeral to look like?

[Grandmother]

No, because I won't be there.

[Podcast Host]

No. But you have any desires?

[Grandmother]

Very simple. Yeah, just go primrose all the kids who's ever alive, take the urn up there, bring up a bottle of champagne or whatever you're drinking, raised glass and just let me go off the hill.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that's lovely.

[Grandmother]

That's just nice. The other one was just get the body, you know, the way the, the Hindus do it. And put in a boat and put on a lake and burn. Yeah, I think that's beautiful. They don't do that in this country.

[Podcast Host]

Country, Give it a go. See if the family would do it. Who's been the greatest love of your life? Really?

[Grandmother]

You say the greatest love of my life. What you mean?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, romantically. Sorry.

[Grandmother]

Romantically, Yeah, I used to have a boyfriend, you know. But the thing is this was in Dublin, you know.

[Podcast Host]

This wasn't the 19 year old.

[Grandmother]

No, no, no. So used to go and work in Dublin, come back here, work for a couple months, go back again, you know. So I had this boyfriend, had to leave him in the end, you know the thing is you don't. You fall in love with a married man.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, he was married, yeah. All right. And what happened? How did it end?

[Grandmother]

Well, funny thing, we were staying in this hotel out, out in Hope in Ireland. For some reason the hotel seemed to go on fire. I'm not joking, EFR the fire brigade out and everything. They had to rescue me, bring me down the ladder. The wind out the window to break the window because you're on the top floor. Bring me down on the ladder. Get him out. And the funny thing, his wife come around where the hotel was because she lived in hought as well and crashed her car just outside the hotel. And nicely patched.

[Podcast Host]

When the fire was happening.

[Grandmother]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

His wife sees there's a fire.

[Grandmother]

His wife's come out to look for.

[Podcast Host]

His car and she's in a car.

[Grandmother]

And crashes and crashes on the ice just outside the hotel. And we're boating. We're all in the hospital together.

[Podcast Host]

What a scene. Is it? What happens to her?

[Grandmother]

She broke her arm and something to do with her jaw. You know, I was okay and I.

[Podcast Host]

Was just smoke and so what, she found out because of that? And you were both in hospital when she found out?

[Grandmother]

Yeah, and more the fact I used to run one of his clubs in Grafton Street. I was at work one day and she comes storming in. She went crazy. I licked it like I've run down the road. She got a long fox fur coat on, you know, like looking like far. So I've raced out. My sister come running trying to stop her, but she pushed my sister out of the way. The bin men were going down the road and they called me, I'll fall in love.

[Podcast Host]

You got rescued by a bin man from the hospital?

[Grandmother]

No, no, this was later.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, so this is later. This is later.

[Grandmother]

This is about a week later.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, okay, okay. Oh, and she's come in.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, I'm back at work. She's come in looking for me to have it out. My sister's trying to stop her. So I've legged out the door, the front door. I'm racing her way and she's shouting and cursing at me. The bin man shot past me all up.

[Podcast Host]

That's amazing. What a getaway. What a getto for the bin man.

[Grandmother]

Yeah, that's what they said. You're so bloody lucky. Said, don't go near her again. She hates you.

[Podcast Host]

So was that the end of the relationship?

[Grandmother]

No, no, no. I said to him, this is no good. I mean, just hurting. He had two kids and that's what got to me. You cannot do this. That was the end of that. Don't get involved with a married man.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I'm going to have to ask you the same thing. I always have the same start question and the same question. The only question is, what are you going to do next?

[Grandmother]

What am I going to do next? God knows, I don't know yet. I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do next. But I'm sure it's going to be something exciting.

[Podcast Host]

Bet it will be. Thank you so much for talking to me.

[Grandmother]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

What an interesting question.

[Grandmother]

What a lovely man.

[Singer]

You know me, I disappear a puff of smoke into the air A lonely day? We'll go now to sea? Close your eyes Count to three? Would you hold just a little longer? Would you pattern down every hat? Could you turn out what you can hold on to? Could you leave that door on latch? Every car is a getaway? Every ship needs a stowaway? Just in fences picking longs? A beating heart is a ticking clock? Would you hold on just a little longer? Would you battle down every hatch? Would you tie down but you can hold on to? Could you leave that door on the latch? Would you leave that door on the latch? Raise a glass when I drip the wire light? To my my funeral pile? You know me? I disappear? A puff of smoke into the air?