EPISODE 4: Making Miniatures by the Sea

Summary

Strangers on a Bench: Episode 4 - "Making Miniatures by the Sea"

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Release Date: October 7, 2024
Episode: EPISODE 4: Making Miniatures by the Sea

---

Introduction

In the fourth episode of Strangers on a Bench, host Tom Rosenthal delves into the serene yet intricate world of miniature art with a special guest whose life took a profound turn by the sea. This episode explores themes of personal transformation, the therapeutic nature of creativity, and the importance of rest in a fast-paced world.

---

A Leap of Faith: Moving Across the Country

The conversation begins with Tom approaching his guest—an anonymous individual who recently relocated from downtown Canada to a tranquil ocean-side rural area. The guest shares the motivations behind this significant life change:

[01:06] Guest: "I thought about living by an ocean for a long time, and I think I wanted a slower pace of life. And the place I moved to is really slow. So. Went from downtown urban life to ocean view rural life. Yeah, it's perfect. It feeds the soul."

This move was not just a change in scenery but a drastic shift in lifestyle, moving from the hustle of urban living to a peaceful, soul-nourishing environment.

---

Embracing Change: Personal Growth Post-Move

Tom probes into the personal transformations that accompanied this relocation. The guest reflects on shedding societal pressures and embracing authenticity:

[01:46] Guest: "I worry less about what people think about my decisions. A lot of people had a lot of thoughts about me moving across the country by myself."

This newfound freedom allowed the guest to prioritize personal happiness over external judgments, fostering a deeper connection with their true self.

---

Rediscovering Playfulness: The Art of Miniatures

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the guest's passion for creating miniatures—a hobby rekindled during the pandemic:

[05:23] Guest: "Well, they're very small things. A 1 to 12 scale? 1 inch to 12 inch. Like dollhouse size."

The guest elaborates on their creative process, constructing detailed dioramas and miniature libraries inspired by books that hold personal significance to people in their life. This artistic pursuit not only serves as a creative outlet but also strengthens community bonds by honoring the interests of loved ones.

---

The Joy of Making: Captivating the Imagination

The guest expresses the universal appeal of miniatures, highlighting how these tiny creations captivate people regardless of age or background:

[06:52] Guest: "It doesn't matter. Age, gender, background. People get kind of captivated by it. It allows people to go into a world that is not one they see every day. And I think we need more. Wonderful."

This fascination with miniatures bridges gaps between individuals, offering a shared experience of wonder and creativity.

---

Balancing Passion and Commercialization

Discussing the future of their miniature creations, the guest contemplates the balance between sharing their work and maintaining its intrinsic joy:

[07:06] Guest: "I sometimes post them on Instagram. Yeah. I'm contemplating doing a store of some sort, but I'm worried that selling them will take the joy out of it, so."

This introspection reflects a common dilemma faced by artists: preserving the purity of their passion amidst potential commercial pressures.

---

Healing and Self-Discovery: Returning to the Inner Child

A heartfelt segment delves into the guest's journey of reconnecting with their inner child, reclaiming lost aspects of their personality stifled by societal expectations:

[04:25] Guest: "I think I've come back fully to myself more than anything. Like I feel like I'm more connected to my 8-year-old self than ever and I'm living a life that my 8-year-old self would have been so pumped to live."

This reconnection has been a gradual process, aided by intentional rest and creative expression, allowing the guest to reclaim confidence and a sense of wonder.

---

The Necessity of Rest in Modern Life

Tom and the guest discuss the critical importance of rest, especially in a society that often equates rest with laziness:

[12:15] Guest: "There's just a wonder to it. It's like you see something human size and then you see something so small, and you're just like, what?"

The guest emphasizes creating spaces for rest and restoration, advocating for societal shifts that value downtime as essential for personal well-being and self-discovery.

---

Crisis as a Catalyst for Change

Reflecting on a pivotal moment, the guest recounts how a health scare acted as a wake-up call, prompting a reevaluation of life priorities:

[13:28] Guest: "I was working what I thought was my dream job eight years ago... I thought I was dying sometimes. And so I took some time off. That's the sabbatical."

This crisis underscored the unsustainability of their previous path, leading to the sabbatical that ultimately facilitated their move and personal transformation.

---

Conclusion: Embracing the Present and Looking Forward

As the episode wraps up, the guest contemplates the future, pondering what comes next after establishing a life that aligns with their authentic self:

[14:53] Guest: "What's next? That's the big question and it's not like I need to find out but it's like this is a nice slow life. Is there something next or is this okay?"

This open-ended reflection highlights the ongoing journey of self-discovery and the continuous evolution of personal goals and desires.

---

Closing Remarks

Tom and the guest share a moment in St. Paul's churchyard, symbolizing a place of reflection and community. The episode closes with a poetic outro that encapsulates the themes of rest, creativity, and embracing one's true self.

---

Key Takeaways

• Personal Transformation: Moving to a peaceful environment can lead to profound personal growth and self-discovery.
• Creative Expression: Engaging in creative hobbies like miniature making can serve as therapeutic outlets and foster community connections.
• Importance of Rest: In a society driven by constant productivity, prioritizing rest is essential for mental and emotional well-being.
• Reconnecting with the Inner Child: Embracing playful and creative aspects of oneself can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
• Crisis as a Catalyst: Personal crises can prompt necessary changes, leading to more aligned and satisfying life paths.

---

Notable Quotes

• Guest on Starting Fresh:
  “[00:52] B: Start. It's the beginning of possibility. So I like planning my week and seeing what it might bring.”

• Guest on Personal Change:
  “[04:25] B: I think I've come back fully to myself more than anything. Like I feel like I'm more connected to my 8-year-old self than ever and I'm living a life that my 8-year-old self would have been so pumped to live.”

• Guest on the Joy of Miniatures:
  “[06:52] B: It doesn't matter. Age, gender, background. People get kind of captivated by it. It allows people to go into a world that is not one they see every day. And I think we need more. Wonderful.”

• Guest on Rest:
  “[12:15] B: There's just a wonder to it. It's like you see something human size and then you see something so small, and you're just like, what?”

• Guest on Crisis and Change:
  “[13:28] B: I was working what I thought was my dream job eight years ago... I thought I was dying sometimes. And so I took some time off. That's the sabbatical.”

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 4 of Strangers on a Bench offers a compelling exploration of how intentional life changes and creative pursuits can lead to deeper self-understanding and fulfillment. Through the guest's journey from urban chaos to ocean-side tranquility and miniature artistry, listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own lives, the importance of rest, and the value of reconnecting with their authentic selves.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? What's your favorite day of the week?

[B]

I think Mondays, because it's fresh.

[C]

Start.

[B]

Start. It's the beginning of possibility. So I like planning my week and seeing what it might bring.

[A]

Love that it's a rare Monday answer, I have to admit. Have you made any fresh starts recently? Is there anything you've started of late?

[B]

Well, it depends on what recent is. I am from Canada and I moved across the country two and a half years ago to start life again. I went from the middle of the country to the ocean.

[A]

So that was a big move. Can I ask what triggered the move? What happened? Why?

[B]

Well, I thought about living by an ocean for a long time, and I think I wanted a slower pace of life. And the place I moved to is really slow. So. Went from downtown urban life to ocean view rural life. Yeah, it's perfect. It feeds the soul.

[A]

If I have to ask you for kind of the one thing you feel has fundamentally changed in you since after you've made the move, what would it be?

[B]

Mmm. I worry less about what people think about my decisions. A lot of people had a lot of thoughts about me moving across the country by myself. Yep.

[A]

What was the kind of core thought that people had?

[B]

You're crazy. Why? I think they were projecting a lot of their own fears. So I think people are afraid to start things new. Some people got really upset because. Because I'd been in the same place for so many years. And there's a grief, though, I think when people are upset, when you leave a place and they're like, hey, hey, we wanted you to stay in our lives physically for a while.

[A]

I totally see what you mean about kind of the mirror aspect of a decision. And it suddenly goes, oh, hang on, should I be making this move? Or why haven't I done this thing? Or, you know, most people ask those questions.

[B]

It should.

[A]

Can you pinpoint the exact moment when you thought, you know, I'm going to do this? What pushed you over the edge?

[B]

I don't know if there was an exact moment. What I realized recently is that life decisions are small, almost minuscule decisions that you make, and then something big happens. So I was thinking about moving to this place for 10 years, and then 20, 21, I thought, I'm just going to go and see what's possible. I mean, worst case, it's a good story at a dinner party and being like, oh, one time I went here and looked at properties. Best case is I find a place that feels like I can root there. And I kind of had this question, I was, you know, get up in age, go, well, if I don't do it now, I'm probably never going to do it. So it kind of was that piece of like, if not now, it might not happen. So five years from now I might not have the energy or courage to do it.

[A]

I do think it's funny. I do think it's how you can actually go quite close to a decision before you make it. I think some people feel like they've got to like, oh, I got to dive in and do it or I can't do it. You can walk up to it and have a look like you did and go, oh, hang on a sec. Yeah, I can do it. Yeah, I do feel good about it. You can get close, you can talk to people, you can. I think not many people actually go. They keep themselves at this comfortable distance away from the actual decision. Maybe out of fear of making the decision in the first place. Maybe.

[B]

I think for me, I think about things a lot before I do things. And so my close friends were not surprised about this. People that kind of, my outer circle of acquaintances were kind of like, well, this is out of the blue, right? But it wasn't ever, you know, I think you gotta go to the edge of like what's possible, play with it, see what it feels like and then dive in.

[A]

What has come out of your personality since the move that you didn't, you know, was kind of was buried beforehand?

[B]

I think I've come back fully to myself more than anything. Like I feel like I'm more connected to my 8 year old self than ever and I'm living a life that my 8 year old self would have been so pumped to live. So when people are like, what success? I'm like something that makes my 8 year old self super happy.

[A]

What is a typical day in your new paradise? Take me from the morning to the evening.

[B]

I don't know if there's a typical day. It's pretty slow. I work for myself, so I consultant, work for clients, but I try to work about 20 hours a week. So that's why Mondays I kind of go, okay, well what's this week going to look like? I have a garden. I love puttering and weeding and watering that I'm renovating. My little house by the sea. So depending on the project, I might be tearing down walls or painting walls. Yeah. Or in my art studio, creating miniatures.

[A]

Natures.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tell me more.

[B]

Well, they're very small things.

[A]

How small are we talking?

[B]

A 1 to 12 scale? 1 inch to 12 inch. Like dollhouse size. When I was 8, I loved it. I could spend hours doing it. So I rediscovered it, actually, during the pandemic. And now I have a studio where I just create for the joy of it.

[A]

Incredible. I love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, one of those things is some of those miniatures I've got, like 50 questions are coming all at once. What are they of?

[B]

I like doing furniture or scenes, vignettes, dioramas. I've been doing rooms, basically, so I did a library.

[A]

Made little books based on existing rooms that are from your own imagination.

[B]

Mostly from my imagination. But I asked a bunch of people in my life what their top five books were. And then I created the miniature books of those. So my miniature library is full of books that. That have meaning to people in my life. So it's not just a thing, but it actually connects to those in my community and who I love.

[A]

What is for you the joy of making miniatures? Can you try and describe that?

[B]

There's just a wonder to it. It's like you see something human size and then you see something so small, and you're just like, what?

[A]

Yeah, I know. My youngest child in particular is just obsessed with tiny things. And there's a. There's like a kind of model village about an hour away. It's like a little miniature paradise, basically. And they have these lovely old people kind of making these tiny things. You can look through them, making and then fixing stuff. And it's just such a beautiful thing.

[B]

I know. It doesn't matter. Age, gender, background. People get kind of captivated by it. It allows people to go into a world that is not one they see every day. And I think we need more. Wonderful.

[A]

What do you do with them once you've made them?

[B]

I just put them up on my mini gallery. I sometimes post them on Instagram. Yeah. I'm contemplating doing a store of some sort, but I'm worried that selling them will take the joy out of it, so.

[A]

Oh. Tricky business, isn't it?

[B]

We'll see.

[A]

How big is your miniature gallery?

[B]

Right now I have six diorama vignettes. They're just in boxes. And I just create the room in the box. But right now I'm also doing a.

[A]

House while we're expanding to a house.

[B]

Yeah. So IKEA has a dollhouse and I'm just making it my own. But there's a show in Canada called Best of Miniature. It's like Great British Bake off, but for miniature makers. And so the last season, I'm just trying to follow their challenges. Who knows, one day maybe I'll be on it.

[A]

I think you should be on it.

[B]

Well, you haven't seen my work, so it might be shipped.

[A]

I mean, also, TV is just about pressing presence to you. You know, you've got, you know, I think you'd be. You talk very well about it. I would put you on. I would put you on the show.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

Let the producer find the casting person. I did. I mean, that sounds like a great show. I'm gonna have to look this up. Canada Miniatures.

[B]

It's called Best in Miniatures. Yeah. I don't know if it's.

[A]

Is it only a Canadian theme?

[B]

I'm sure it's on like YouTube somewhere. Best in Miniature. But your daughter might like that too.

[A]

That's such a good thing. Do you ever feel like you didn't do this? I mean, do you go, I wish I just was doing miniature my miniatures my whole life?

[B]

No, I think I needed to wander the path I took. Yeah, I've always been creative, but I'm just finding my way back to actually doing it with more attention. I think I forgot about it actually for years because you kind of thought, oh, that's something children do, you know, and you try to be cool in your teens. Failed miserably, but, you know, you still try.

[A]

Is there any other finding the eight year old kind of activity that you're partaking in bringing the eight year old back?

[B]

She was pretty confident. It was before kind of the patriarchy and things told her what a girl should act like. And she had a mischievous and like courageous spirit. And I lost that for a lot of years. So I feel like I'm finding that now as I hit middle age.

[A]

Oh, that's beautiful that you can return. I have the chance to return. Yeah, it's good again without. You don't have to answer the question if you. If it's too heavy. But like, can you chart the kind of points at which you started to lose the eight year old?

[B]

Oh, yes, yes, for sure. Schooling and a church I grew up in and a lot of things like that where, you know, women should be quiet and demure and be very nice and don't cause any trouble and just do whatever everybody needs you to be. And I did that for a long Time.

[A]

So it's like a kind of gradual diminishing of the spirit rather than. There's no kind of moment when suddenly.

[B]

You'Re like, yeah, I figured out in, like, maybe when I was 9 or 10, I was like, oh, I see. If I just do this, nobody will really pay that much attention to me. And I can kind of just get through life. And so I just kind of reduced who I was to fit.

[A]

When did you come to understand that that is what happened?

[B]

Yeah, it was only really. Probably started about 10 years ago and more so in the last five years. Doing a lot of healing around. Yeah. Finding my voice and who I am again. There was a lot of years where I just. I kind of played the game. Climbing the ladder, you know, following the brochure of life. And then you kind of go, oh, wait a second, I didn't help design this brochure. This is not the life I want to live. So it's time to shake things up a bit.

[A]

Do you have any kind of mission to. Once you find your own thing, you're like, oh, look, mate, come on, you've got to do this now. Have you found yourself being that person a bit or not really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Kind of evangelical about it?

[B]

Well, you don't want to be too evangelical. That's my problem.

[A]

Yeah, that is a problem.

[B]

No, I feel like everybody can do their own thing, believe their own thing. I think one of the things is our society needs to rest, and so we are just doing what we think we're supposed to be doing and we're all exhausted. But eight years ago, I took a sabbatical and started asking questions I didn't know I had. What I realized is if you're exhausted, you can't figure out what you actually want. People don't even really have the energy to go there. So I actually did some work. A friend of mine, actually one of the friends I'm meeting today, we did a thing called Conscious Pause, which is about guiding people through sabbaticals and so they can ask their own questions. The place I'm creating by the ocean is a place for people to come pay what they can for rest and restoration. Because I think we need that before people can figure out who they are or what they want to do or, you know, small thoughts, just, everybody have a nap.

[A]

Just a small soul. What are the kind of. If someone's listening to this and they're going, oh, I'm not very good at rest.

[B]

Most people say that.

[A]

What do you say is a kind of go to ways to kind of get better at it.

[B]

Well, I actually don't say it too much anymore because people don't like the idea of rest. There's a huge narrative around that. It's lazy, it's a character flaw, all of these things. So there's great resistance. The idea of rest. I usually say, well, tell me how tired you are, how exhausted. And they're like, oh, my goodness, so exhausted. I was like, so we're basically like toddlers walking through this world, just kind of having hissy fits, but all we need to do is have a nap. But people have to come to that themselves. So I just share my life of slowness and ease. And hopefully by example, people will be like, oh, wait, there's another way to live this life. But I see the next generation resting more than. Okay, yeah, that's good. I see that as like, wait, we don't have to be a slave to capitalism as much.

[A]

How do you think that's happened?

[B]

I just think the systems that we thought were unbreakable are breaking. And so people are like, wait, can you.

[A]

Again, another biggish question. Sorry, we're only here for a short time. Can you think of a moment when you were playing the ladder game where you kind of felt, wow, this is the bottom moment for me.

[B]

I was working what I thought was my dream job eight years ago. It was right before I took the sabbatical, and I was waking up in the middle of the night with huge heart pains, which I didn't realize was anxiety, but they would just knock the breath out of me. I thought I was dying sometimes. And I was like, oh, wait, this job actually is killing me. And so I took some time off. That's the sabbatical. Well, they called it leave, but I just changed the name of it because I was like, I'm going to call it sabbatical because leave has negative connotations in corporate world. And I came back realizing that I needed to change. So we're humans like that. We get to crisis before we change.

[A]

Sometimes. And these things. I've done this all around London, mostly in parks. Honest, it's quite rare. I go in like cityish bits. Can you describe what we can see in front of us and how that makes you feel? Because it is quite funny where we are.

[B]

Yeah, well, we're in St. Paul's churchyard. I'm actually going to be going tonight to Evensong with the friends from where I once lived. We're meeting here in London. And because I've never been inside of St. Paul's I thought I'm gonna go in when he can go in for free. So yeah, we're in front of St. Paul's in the churchyard, ironically.

[A]

Is there any questions you'd like to ask yourself and answer it?

[B]

What's next? That's the big question and it's not like I need to find out but it's like this is a nice slow life. Is there something next or is this okay? I don't even know if that's the right question but it's just like. And now progress maybe is a different direction now but I don't know that's what it is.

[C]

Look at your tiny heart how it needs to rest it's broken Little parts are holding by her thread why don't we live by the ocean side Take time to breathe Time to slow your might look how your tiny hands Fit so well in my A home can be a friend so he's your love.