Strangers on a Bench: Episode 40 - "A Seal Called Noon"

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Guest: Jordan
Release Date: June 16, 2025
Podcast Description: In "Strangers on a Bench," Tom Rosenthal engages in intimate conversations with anonymous strangers he meets in London's parks. By ensuring anonymity, Tom fosters genuine and open dialogues, uncovering surprising personal revelations.

Introducing Jordan and His Ideal Sunday

The episode kicks off with Tom, referred to as Alex in the transcript, approaching Jordan on a park bench to discuss his ideal Sunday. Jordan paints a vivid picture of a relaxed day:

Jordan [00:54]: "My ideal Sunday lived on this funny earth. Usually I'm in London on a Sunday. I have friends who work in a market so I go see them, but before that I go to a 12 step meeting in the mornings, chatting with people and then I go to the market, have free food, get free kimchi, socialise, and then I might head off either home or wherever I'm staying on that day. So, yeah, it's just a day filled with some speaking to people I enjoy being around."

Jordan appreciates social interactions on Sundays, a contrast to his usual preference for solitude. This balance highlights his need for meaningful connections amidst a solitary lifestyle.

Solitude vs. Social Interactions

The conversation delves into Jordan's preference for alone time and how Sundays serve as his "people time." He explains that despite enjoying social interactions, solitude is his default state:

Jordan [01:31]: "Yeah, I like my own company a lot. Yeah. I tend to just be with myself a lot more than with other people. So, yeah, it's nice to just have a day where I see lots of people and then kind of get it done. Yeah."

Jordan finds Sundays fulfilling without feeling exhausted afterward, indicating his ability to recharge through selective social engagements.

Personal Reflections and Self-Understanding

Alex probes deeper into Jordan's relationship with himself, a significant topic in their discussion:

Jordan [02:18]: "With myself. Oh, well, it's challenging. Wow. Yeah, I change a lot, so I feel like I'm different people at any kind of opportunity."

Jordan acknowledges the fluctuating nature of his personality and creativity, showing self-awareness and the complexity of his internal world.

Overcoming Self-Like and Personal Growth

Jordan discusses the importance of self-acceptance and personal growth, particularly through his participation in a 12-step program:

Jordan [03:03]: "Well, you need to like yourself first. I think if you don't like something, you're not going to do it."

He emphasizes that self-appreciation is foundational to personal development, a lesson he learned through introspection and external support.

Family Dynamics and Personal Struggles

A significant portion of the dialogue revolves around Jordan's strained relationship with his family, particularly his mother and half-siblings:

Jordan [12:33]: "We're half siblings. So we have different dads. Yeah. Dysfunctional family. All that jazz."

Jordan recounts the discovery of his half-siblings and the complexities of navigating familial relationships. His candidness about familial dysfunction highlights his journey toward self-reliance.

The Impact of 12-Step Meetings and Mentorship

Jordan delves into his experience with the 12-step program, detailing the challenges and benefits:

Jordan [07:10]: "I wasn't present in a lot of other ways, but it wasn't drugs and alcohol."

He clarifies that his involvement is rooted in addressing deeper emotional struggles rather than substance abuse. Additionally, Jordan speaks about a mentor who has illuminated his lack of self-worth:

Jordan [24:36]: "He kind of illuminated my lack of self worth. Yeah. He kind of just pointed out that I have a punishing view of myself often."

This mentorship has been pivotal in his journey towards self-acceptance and emotional healing.

Fear of Relationships and Vulnerability

A poignant part of the episode explores Jordan's fear of romantic relationships and vulnerability:

Jordan [22:09]: "Probably abandonment. Just, like, once I really, like, give myself and I'm really, like, into the relationship and then they just leave. That would, like, break me completely."

Jordan's reluctance to engage in romantic relationships stems from a deep-seated fear of abandonment and being emotionally known. This fear affects his ability to form lasting connections, as he often pushes potential partners away to shield himself from possible hurt.

Creative Pursuits: Plants, Bells, and Clay

Jordan shares his creative outlets, which include caring for plants, ringing bells, and working with clay:

Jordan [34:08]: "I've got a bell on my keyring. How much I Like bells. Oh, my God, yeah."

His unique interest in bells serves both as a personal expression and a practical means of self-announcement in public spaces. Additionally, Jordan’s dedication to plant care showcases his growth from someone who previously struggled to keep plants alive:

Jordan [37:38]: "I never used to be. I was actually very bad. I killed every plant I had. I killed my housemates plants. And I was so liberally. I didn't mean to. I just didn't know how to take care of plants. I felt really bad about that. But then after that, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna get some plants so I can learn how to take care of some plants. And then I did, and now I just have loads of plants."

Jordan's transformation into a proficient plant caretaker symbolizes his broader journey of self-improvement and nurturing.

The Enigmatic Seal: Noon

Throughout the episode, an enigmatic seal named Noon makes several appearances, adding an element of whimsical mystery:

Jordan [11:24]: "Well, I've been on this beach for a couple hours and it was at noon that it popped by, so I'm gonna call it Noon."

Noon serves as a recurring motif, blending humor with metaphorical undertones as Jordan navigates the conversation. The seal's intermittent appearances highlight Jordan’s playful side amidst serious discussions.

Memorable Anecdotes: Paper Rounds and Jobs

Jordan reminisces about his early work experiences, particularly his paper routes:

Jordan [27:05]: "I used to do the paper rounds in my town, my tiny town."

He fondly recalls the rewards and responsibilities of managing multiple paper routes as a child, linking these memories to his current work ethic:

Jordan [27:58]: "Yeah, I guess."

Jordan underscores the importance of dedication and customer service, drawing lessons from his childhood that continue to influence his professional demeanor.

Philosophical Musings and Future Aspirations

The dialogue transitions into Jordan's philosophical views and his aspirations for a sustainable, community-oriented lifestyle:

Jordan [29:44]: "I would go somewhere and grow my own food, have a little farm, have some chickens, try and be sustainable, try and live off the land for as long as I can."

Inspired by nature and sustainability, Jordan envisions a future where he lives harmoniously with the environment, reflecting his deep connection to the natural world and desire for self-sufficiency.

Books and Escapism

Reading serves as both an escape and an emotional conduit for Jordan. He discusses the impact of specific books on his outlook:

Jordan [36:01]: "I recommend."

Jordan [36:18]: "It's breaking my heart. It broke my heart two books ago. I'm still reading it."

Books like "Braiding Sweetgrass" and the "Morning Star" series provide Jordan with emotional depth and inspiration, influencing his perspectives on resilience and perseverance.

Building Traditions and Creative Rituals

Jordan contemplates starting new traditions, intertwining his love for music and creativity:

Jordan [33:03]: "Maybe I can."

Jordan [33:04]: "Maybe I can."

Jordan [34:08]: "What's your singing voice like?"

Jordan [35:26]: "What am I gonna do next? I'm probably gonna finish this chapter in my book. Maybe go for another walk and then go home and water my plants. Feed the cat. Maybe read some more. Maybe not. Maybe I'll watch something. Yeah. Catch up with a few people. Even though it's not Sunday. And then. Yeah, that's it. That's it."

These musings reveal Jordan's ongoing journey to find balance and meaning in his daily rituals, blending personal interests with newfound ambitions.

Conclusion: Embracing Vulnerability and Self-Acceptance

In the closing moments, Jordan reflects on his growth and the ongoing challenges of vulnerability:

Jordan [19:37]: "Yeah, I definitely need a parental figure, but I can't really expect other people or other things to be that for me. I kind of have to be that for myself."

Jordan [22:55]: "Just the vulnerability. Being vulnerable in front of someone else. Like someone knowing me that much is scary because. Yeah. I don't really know."

Jordan’s honesty about his fears and his commitment to self-reliance encapsulate the episode's overarching themes of introspection, personal growth, and the quest for meaningful connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan [03:03]: "Well, you need to like yourself first. I think if you don't like something, you're not going to do it."

• Jordan [12:33]: "We're half siblings. So we have different dads. Yeah. Dysfunctional family. All that jazz."

• Jordan [22:09]: "Probably abandonment. Just, like, once I really, like, give myself and I'm really, like, into the relationship and then they just leave. That would, like, break me completely."

• Jordan [37:38]: "I never used to be. I was actually very bad. I killed every plant I had. I killed my housemates plants."

• Jordan [29:44]: "I would go somewhere and grow my own food, have a little farm, have some chickens, try and be sustainable, try and live off the land for as long as I can."

Final Thoughts:

Episode 40 of "Strangers on a Bench" offers an intimate glimpse into Jordan's life, revealing his struggles, growth, and unique interests. Through candid conversations, listeners gain a profound understanding of the complexities of human solitude, the importance of self-acceptance, and the enduring quest for authentic connections. The recurring mention of Noon the seal adds a layer of whimsical intrigue, perfectly complementing the episode's thoughtful dialogues.