Strangers on a Bench: Episode 42 – "If Only You Knew"

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Guest: Sarah (anonymous)
Release Date: June 30, 2025

In Episode 42 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal engages in a deeply personal and heartfelt conversation with Sarah, an anonymous guest who shares her life journey, challenges, and triumphs. Through their 30-minute dialogue, Sarah opens up about her creative pursuits, mental health struggles, familial relationships, and the coping mechanisms that have guided her through life's adversities.

1. Meeting on the Bench

The episode begins with Tom approaching Sarah on a London park bench, introducing his podcast concept of connecting with strangers to uncover their hidden stories.

• Tom [00:04]: "Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes."

• Sarah [00:58]: "It's nice because I was just relaxing and then obviously, like, you come and approach me. I thought, oh, that's really nice."

This initial interaction sets a tone of spontaneity and openness, laying the foundation for an intimate conversation.

2. Personal Life and Work

Sarah reveals her favorite day of the week and discusses her current work situation, providing insight into her daily life.

• Sarah [01:15]: "I'd say it was a Wednesday."

She explains that Wednesdays are her day off from work, which she uses to de-stress by sitting on the bench, reflecting a balance between her professional responsibilities and personal well-being.

• Tom [01:34]: "With these special Wednesdays off, take me through what, for you is a day really well lived in the world?"

• Sarah [01:41]: "Well, usually I think when I get off, I don't plan my day. Today was like a spontaneous one."

3. Creative Pursuits

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Sarah's passion for creative writing. She discusses her journey in pursuing a suspense-time type book and the challenges she faces in balancing creativity with professional life.

• Sarah [02:05]: "I graduated from uni last year in creative writing and media and I started writing like a suspense time type book."

• Tom [02:38]: "People watching is good, isn't it?"

Sarah elaborates on how observing people provides her with inspiration and ideas for her writing, highlighting the symbiotic relationship between her environment and creative output.

4. Mental Health Journey

One of the most poignant segments of the episode delves into Sarah's struggles with anxiety and depression. She candidly discusses her experiences working with Childline and the emotional toll it took on her.

• Sarah [08:00]: "I have to write everything on there, even though I hate computers."

• Tom [16:29]: "What does a breakdown look like as opposed to just your average day of depression?"

• Sarah [16:40]: "Moment, you just literally lose the person you are. It's hard to explain. You're very vulnerable."

Sarah describes the intense vulnerability and rock-bottom moments associated with a mental health breakdown, contrasting them with her daily battles with anxiety. She emphasizes the importance of masking her struggles to maintain her professional facade.

• Sarah [11:02]: "I mask everything. Like people in work don't know. I suffer with depression."

• Tom [11:19]: "Do you think that's a good thing?"

• Sarah [11:27]: "No, probably not, but it's the only way I can deal with stuff."

5. Family and Relationships

The dialogue shifts to Sarah's familial relationships, particularly her relationship with her mother and her role as a parent. She shares touching anecdotes about overcoming past barriers to build stronger bonds with her children.

• Sarah [13:00]: "The other one sort of disappeared from my life and then eventually came back."

• Tom [14:06]: "How has it affected you as a parent?"

• Sarah [14:09]: "It was hard because I had barriers up all the time, and as a parent, it's like it was difficult to show love."

Sarah recounts her efforts to mend relationships and the emotional breakthroughs that allowed her to become a more affectionate and present parent.

6. Coping Mechanisms and Healing

Sarah discusses various strategies she employs to cope with her mental health challenges and the loss of her children. Writing and creative expression play crucial roles in her healing process.

• Sarah [25:46]: "I have a negative and a positive each day... I think that helps as well."

• Tom [28:13]: "What are your goals?"

• Sarah [28:13]: "Using my creative side... and making stuff. I always remember my mum said, you're very creative."

She emphasizes the therapeutic benefits of journaling and setting achievable goals, which provide structure and positivity amidst her struggles.

7. Creativity and Future Aspirations

Towards the end of the conversation, Sarah shares her aspirations to complete her creative projects, particularly her novel titled "The Cave." She highlights the encouragement she receives from her lecturer regarding her vivid imagination.

• Sarah [28:36]: "My creative side... finishing what I'm doing."

• Tom [28:41]: "What was the story you were doing?"

• Sarah [28:41]: "The Cave. It keeps you on your toes. It's really good."

Sarah's determination to see her creative endeavors through to completion underscores her resilience and commitment to personal growth.

8. Final Reflections and Closing Thoughts

As the conversation wraps up, Sarah reflects on her mother's influence and the importance of empathy and communication in overcoming personal challenges.

• Sarah [27:07]: "She's a great person... nothing's unachievable."

• Tom [32:15]: "And, as you kind of meaningfully put earlier, you know, there are lots of things that are invisible at people."

Tom shares his appreciation for the meaningful exchange, emphasizing the universal nature of hidden struggles and the value of human connection.

• Tom [32:44]: "We're having a moment. There's two people just randomly come together."

Sarah concurs, acknowledging the serendipitous and enriching nature of their meeting on the bench.

Key Takeaways:

• Human Connection: The episode underscores the profound impact of casual human interactions in uncovering shared experiences and fostering empathy.

• Mental Health Awareness: Sarah's candid discussion highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing mental health issues, as well as the challenges of masking one's struggles.

• Resilience and Creativity: Despite facing significant personal losses and mental health challenges, Sarah's dedication to creative pursuits serves as a testament to her resilience and determination to find solace and purpose through art.

• Family Bonds: The evolution of Sarah's relationships with her family members illustrates the healing power of communication and the importance of breaking down emotional barriers.

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah [11:02]: "I mask everything. Like people in work don't know. I suffer with depression."

• Sarah [25:46]: "I have a negative and a positive each day... I think that helps as well."

• Sarah [28:38]: "What are your goals?"
  "Using my creative side... and making stuff."

Conclusion:

Episode 42 of "Strangers on a Bench" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into Sarah's life, marked by creativity, resilience, and the continual pursuit of healing. Through her honest reflections and shared experiences, the episode emphasizes the universal nature of human struggles and the enduring strength found in vulnerability and connection.