EPISODE 47: The Time I've Got Left - Strangers on a Bench

Summary

Podcast Summary: Strangers on a Bench - EPISODE 47: The Time I've Got Left

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Guest: [Anonymous]
Release Date: August 4, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 47 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal engages in a deeply personal and heartfelt conversation with an anonymous guest who has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Over a candid 15-minute dialogue, the guest shares his journey, coping mechanisms, relationships, and reflections on life in the face of mortality. This episode offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the human experience of confronting limited time, emphasizing authenticity, vulnerability, and the importance of connections.

Diagnosis and Its Impact

The conversation begins with the guest revealing his terminal diagnosis:

[01:26] Guest: "I've been diagnosed with terminal cancer... I'm 55 years old and I just thought, okay, well, now I'm retired."

This life-altering news compelled him to reevaluate his priorities, shifting his focus from career ambitions to personal fulfillment and relationships.

Coping Mechanisms

Decompressing on Fridays:

Originally, Fridays served as a day for decompressing and enjoying leisure activities. However, his diagnosis intensified this routine:

[02:16] Host: "I was interested about how you decompress again."
[03:27] Guest: "I've shifted to just hanging out with my closest, most loved friends... saying I love you a lot."

Expressing Love:

Breaking social barriers, the guest began openly expressing love to his male friends, a departure from his previously reserved demeanor.

[03:28] Guest: "It sounds ridiculous, but the social boundaries... I just didn't say it to guys before."

Relationships and Love

Deepening Connections:

The guest emphasizes the importance of meaningful relationships, especially with his wife, Lydia, and their two children.

[22:40] Guest: "She's amazing... The greatest achievement I've had in my life is my kids and my wife."

Expressing Emotion:

Despite his initial reluctance, the guest acknowledges the therapeutic power of expressing love and maintaining close bonds.

[07:03] Host: "Are there any that you feel comfortable kind of sharing?"
[07:40] Guest: "Some people brought me to tears... it's what I've wanted to be."

Hobbies and Passions

Brass Screw Collection:

A unique aspect of the guest's personality is his passion for collecting and organizing brass screws, which serves as a therapeutic hobby.

[19:28] Guest: "I've recently sorted out my vintage screw collection. Brass screws... It's just a collection in a box for me to restore things with."

Creative Projects:

He combines his hobby with creativity, crafting items like coat hangers from old shipwreck screws.

[21:30] Guest: "I'm making a little tea candle holder out of tiny parts of a shipwreck that I found."

Reflections on Ambition

Letting Go of Ambition:

The diagnosis led the guest to release his long-held ambitions, finding liberation in relinquishing the need to achieve and win.

[08:35] Guest: "I've enjoyed losing that. It's been a positive thing... to just wave bye bye to that."

Shifting Priorities:

Instead of pursuing personal gains, he now dedicates his time to valuing relationships and personal well-being.

[09:58] Guest: "I would have focused more on helping other people... volunteers at Maggie's."

Memory and Emotional Control

Impact of Brain Tumor:

The guest discusses how his brain tumor affects his memory and emotional responses, leading to moments of confusion and vivid hallucinations.

[34:11] Guest: "The long-term stuff is very good... my short-term memory is getting increasingly bad."
[35:50] Guest: "I can see people and they can talk... It’s horrible at night."

Managing Emotions:

He employs strategies like deep breathing and relies on his wife and friends to help manage these challenging experiences.

[37:08] Guest: "If I just sort of hang about and just play it out and deep breathe... they've been so tender in some really horrible situations."

Legacy and Advice

Advice to Listeners:

The guest imparts valuable life lessons, urging listeners to express love and help others rather than dwelling on personal struggles.

[41:46] Guest: "Don't let a situation like mine be the thing that makes you go home and hug those who you love and tell them you love them."

Writing a Book:

He is in the process of writing a book for his children, titled "Things I Wish I'd Known at 24 that I Do Now," aiming to pass on simple yet meaningful advice.

[28:07] Guest: "I'm writing a book for my kids... it's just really simple observations that I've had in my life."

Personal Stories

Meeting His Wife:

The guest shares a heartfelt story about how he met his wife Lydia, showcasing his authenticity and commitment.

[23:09] Guest: "We studied together... we went to a rugby match... it was a lovely, lovely evening."

Supporting His Family:

His dedication to safeguarding his children and supporting his wife through his illness is evident throughout the conversation.

[26:14] Guest: "We got two lovely kids, 24 and 22... doing my best to safeguard them at a time when I can see my ability to safeguard them is running out."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with the guest reflecting on his immediate plans and final projects, such as creating a meaningful gift for his wife from his screw collection and shipwreck pieces.

[44:47] Guest: "I'm going to go home and I'm going to continue to make a little present for my wife... It'll bring me happiness just to lose the world around me and hopefully bring Lydia happiness."

Musical Outro:

A poignant musical segment encapsulates the themes of love, legacy, and cherishing moments, reinforcing the episode's emotional depth.

Notable Quotes

On Expressing Love:
- Guest [03:28]: "It sounds ridiculous, but the social boundaries... I just didn't say it to guys before."
On Letting Go of Ambition:
- Guest [08:35]: "I've enjoyed losing that. It's been a positive thing... to just wave bye bye to that."
On Legacy:
- Guest [41:46]: "Don't let a situation like mine be the thing that makes you go home and hug those who you love and tell them you love them."
On Coping with Hallucinations:
- Guest [35:49]: "And I can wake up in the middle of the night and see people on there. Oh, that's not as fun in the night, I guess."

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Strangers on a Bench" is a profound exploration of life, love, and the human spirit in the face of terminal illness. The guest's openness about his struggles, his dedication to his family, and his unique hobbies provide a multifaceted view of living authentically. Tom Rosenthal skillfully navigates this sensitive conversation, leaving listeners with a lasting message about the importance of connections and expressing love without reservation.