Podcast Summary: Strangers on a Bench

Episode 51: "A Song For My Daughter"

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Release Date: September 1, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Tom Rosenthal sits beside a stranger in a London park, inviting them into an intimate, anonymous conversation about parenthood, music, personal growth, and resilience. The guest, a single mother and musician, shares candid reflections on raising her nine-year-old daughter, navigating relationships, balancing artistic ambitions, and learning self-acceptance. The episode crescendos with a touching live rendition of a song the guest wrote for her daughter, encapsulating the love and challenges that define both her personal and creative worlds.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. On Fridays, Ideal Days, and Parenting

• Kickoff Question: Tom asks about the guest’s favorite day of the week.
  • Guest (B): "I'd say Friday... you've got the kind of working week behind you and you've got the possibilities of the weekend." (00:48)
  • As a self-employed person, "technically every day is Friday. Every day is Friday." (01:02)
• Ideal Friday includes simple joys: waking up naturally, bringing her daughter to school, enjoying a peaceful moment in a park.
  • "In an ideal world I would just wake up when I naturally want to wake up. Maybe do something like this, come to the park, sit on the bench, talk to somebody like you." (01:16)

2. Navigating Emotions and Growth

• The guest reflects on self-acceptance and the evolution of her emotional landscape.
  • "I don't kind of beat myself up for having emotions. Sometimes I'll feel down or sometimes I feel happy. And it's just, I just accept that that's how I'm feeling in that moment." (02:22)
  • "You get to a point where you're like, life doesn't need to be hard, does it? Life's too short." (02:46)
• Acknowledges that emotional struggles can fuel songwriting:
  • "Sometimes the angst that you get is good for writing songs... then try and get it out in a healthy way." (02:56)

3. Music, Motherhood, and Messy Cars

• Balancing parenthood and musical career: brings her daughter to gigs, values exposing her to creative environments.
  • "She just stood there at the side of the stage and watched the entire gig... I feel like I'm giving her a good education." (03:56)
  • They sing harmonies together, especially in the car (04:11).
• The realities of a musician-parent’s car: spills, gig shoes, and leftover gear.
  • “She spilled some chips on the floor the other day… slime on the seats from like a magazine... some shoes from a gig that I did...” (04:43)

4. Most Important Song: A Love Letter to Her Daughter

• Guest names the most important song she’s written: one for her daughter, who is featured on the recording.
  • "I wrote a song about my daughter... It's a lovely snapshot of this time." (06:16)
  • "As a songwriter... it was a love letter to my daughter." (06:30)

5. Single Motherhood: Struggles and Strength

• Unexpected journey into single motherhood: it's been challenging but made her more resilient.
  • "It teaches you patience... Like, I am a single mum and it wasn't what I expected, but I think it's made me stronger..." (06:48)
• Navigating co-parenting and family court.
  • "We were in the family court for a whole year... it was locked down, so it was all video, which was probably a blessing." (31:07)
  • "He put an emergency court application in and was like, said loads of horrible things... had to have social services..." (31:58)
  • Ultimately, she gains full custody, but emphasizes forgiveness for her daughter's sake:
    • "I just don't want to carry hatred anymore. It's not healthy. And... she loves him, and I never want to take that away." (33:26)

6. New Relationships and Healthy Love

• Guest describes meeting a new partner who is also a parent, resulting in better understanding and communication.
  • "He's a dad himself... his children are a big part of his life too, is really important to me. And communication is just brilliant as well." (09:42)
  • "We have hard conversations. Maybe even people who are married don't have... He doesn't give me any reasons for doubt." (10:24)
  • Lyrics of her new song reflect this:
    • "I really love the way you love me. You give me reason not to doubt how you feel about us. Never knew love could be this healthy communication." (11:05)

7. Roots, Upbringing, and Creative Heritage

• Family influences: "Dad's from Yorkshire, my mum's from Liverpool. They're both arty, creative types." (15:25)
• Upbringing blends northern “good heart with a bit of sarcasm, a bit of get up and go.” (15:39)
• Assures value of exposing her daughter to creative, adult environments, as her own parents did for her.
  • "They just used to bring me to stuff… even if you only get like bits of occasions as a kid... you soak it up." (17:34, 18:22)

8. Music Career Milestones and Performing

• Platinum-certified artist: "That was a song that got recorded in a small, tiny bedroom in Leeds, and then now it's four times platinum." (20:49)
• Keeps the plaque in her attic studio: “No, I like to look up at it and be like, magic can happen.” (21:19)
• Performance highs and lows: Wembley Arena nerves, awkward jazz gigs in pubs, singing at her daughter's school.
  • “I went to go sing in my daughter's school a couple of weeks ago. That was scarier... than 10,000 people.” (23:20)
  • “If anything goes wrong, it's all eyes on you. And people are like, you know...” (24:13)
• Family always supported her creative path:
  • "They see it as a profession and even if I'm not earning money, they don't judge me, which I'm really grateful for." (25:08)

9. Self-Reflection: Loneliness and Longing

• Despite outer success, sometimes feels invisible or overlooked:
  • “Maybe people don't check in on me as much as, yeah, maybe I'd appreciate a bit more like, are you okay?” (35:22)
  • Admits to bouts of loneliness when her daughter is away. (36:32)

10. Quirks, Home Life & The Infamous Boiler

• Describes her home as “smiling again,” after putting herself into it; finds joy in interior design.
  • "I feel like the house is smiling again because it wasn't looked after and I feel like I brought a smile back to it." (26:45)
• Weirdest item? A headless mannequin torso found by a skip. (28:03)
• Endures a comedic-tragic saga with an electric boiler installed by a Phil Mitchell lookalike; “The water since has been orange.” (29:31)
  • “You try and do your little bit for the planet and it just ends up, let the planet burn.” (30:23)

11. Live Performance: A Song for Her Daughter

• At Tom’s prompting, the guest sings lines from a new song over a beat sent from a San Diego producer.
  • "This is a song that a producer in San Diego sent me... it's kind of like a happy one." (38:36)
  • She later sings the chorus with palpable emotion:
    • “You give me reason not to down how you feel... every day I'm so grateful for everything...” (41:20)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On emotions and growth:
  “Whereas before I'd probably be like, oh my god, now I'm just like just thoughts and feelings. I'm fine, I'll probably feel different in 10 minutes.” (02:22)
• On motherhood & music:
  “She just stood there at the side of the stage and watched the entire gig. I feel like I'm giving her a good education... she wants to be a singer too.” (03:56)
• On supportive parenting:
  "They see it as a profession and even if I'm not earning money, they don't judge me..." (25:08)
• On collaborative love:
  “I really love the way you love me. You give me reason not to doubt how you feel about us. Never knew love could be this healthy communication.” (11:05)
• On loneliness:
  “Maybe people don't check in on me as much as… maybe I'd appreciate a bit more like, are you okay?” (35:22)
• On creative success:
  "That was a song that got recorded in a small, tiny bedroom in Leeds, and then now it's four times platinum." (20:49)
• On resilience:
  "I just don't want to carry hatred anymore. It's not healthy. And... she loves him, and I never want to take that away." (33:26)
• On the comedy of life:
  "She spilled some chips on the floor the other day... slime on the seats from like a magazine..." (04:43) "The water since has been orange." (29:31) "No, I like to look up at [my plaque] and be like, magic can happen." (21:19)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:48–02:00 – Favorite day, ideal Friday, and parental realities
• 02:12–03:10 – Managing emotions; songwriting as catharsis
• 03:56–04:21 – Bringing her daughter to gigs; family harmonies
• 06:16–06:41 – The most important song: about her daughter
• 07:23–08:26 – Becoming a single mum; co-parenting
• 09:42–11:15 – Finding healthy love and writing new songs
• 15:25–17:34 – Family roots, upbringing, and carrying forward traditions
• 20:29–21:19 – Platinum song, studio, and humble brags
• 23:20–24:41 – Performance anxieties, gig mishaps
• 29:02–30:36 – The orange boiler and green technology gone wrong
• 31:01–33:40 – Family court struggles, forgiveness, and moving forward
• 35:22–36:32 – On feeling invisible and experiences of loneliness
• 38:36–41:20 – Performing new song, chorus for her daughter

Tone and Atmosphere

Conversation is warm, humorous, and open, marked by Tom’s gentle curiosity and the guest’s candid, sometimes self-deprecating, reflections. The mutual parental bond and musician’s perspective foster immediate intimacy and authenticity. The episode is honest about struggles, yet ever hopeful—a celebration of resilience, creativity, and love, both familial and romantic.

Closing

Tom thanks the guest for her openness, authenticity, and song, ending on a note that celebrates both the joy and surreal unpredictability of life as a creative parent:

• Tom: “Honor and a privilege.” (40:31)

Final live performance of her song—raw, loving, poignant—serves as a coda to this beautifully human conversation.

For anyone who’s experienced parenting, artistic pursuit, or the unpredictable beauty of life, this episode is a tender trove of humor, wisdom, and heartfelt song.