EPISODE 55: It's Like I've Met You Before

Summary

Strangers on a Bench – Episode 55: “It's Like I've Met You Before”

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Date: September 29, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Tom Rosenthal sits with a vivacious, candid Londoner who shares the joys and routines of her Sundays, her relationship with church and faith, cherished memories from a youth spent “raving,” her unique take on aging and independence, and the deep value she finds in community work and laughter. Their conversation traverses themes of spirituality, community, personal growth, romantic love, and the importance of maintaining a childlike spirit into old age. Radiating warmth and humor, the guest’s reflections turn an ordinary Sunday into an exploration of resilience and joy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sunday Rituals and the Power of Routine

• Favorite Day: Sunday, for its relaxation and spiritual grounding at church.
  • [01:00] “Sunday. That day I go to church and I can relax.” – Guest
• Early Mornings: She wakes as early as 5 or 6am, makes fresh juices (“carrot, apple and beetroot”), and enjoys solitude before church.
  • [01:57] “Apple and carrot and beetroot, sometimes.” – Guest
  • [02:38] “To me, it’s the best thing I’ve ever bought myself. I’ve had it for, like, 20 years. A Bosch. I recommend.”
• Preparation for Church: She values walking to church (about 40 minutes), dressing comfortably but with style, and finds meaning in these rituals.
  • [04:00] “Yes. Oh, that’s a good one. I have to wear good trainers. I can’t wear anything girly or high.”
  • [30:32] “Walk to church, 40 minutes. If I’m relaxed, if I’m not rushing.”

2. Church, Spirituality, and Community

• Long Connection to Church: Her first memory is wearing a pink, accordion-pleated skirt as a child and wanting everyone to notice.
  • [04:41] “Having a gorgeous pink skirt and it was accordion pleats...”
• Changes in the Church: Noted a shift towards more women, especially middle-aged, in her Caribbean congregation, and reflects on the evolving communal role of church.
  • [05:26] “It has changed because... there are more women, especially middle-aged women in our churches now.”
• Music and Gospel Singing: The most moving aspect of church; it brings feelings of safety and calm.
  • [07:04] “It’s quite spiritual. Calmness and... safe.”
• Dislikes: Does not enjoy over-the-top, egotistical preachers or forced displays of piety but appreciates diversity in speakers.
  • [07:40] “I hate it when they say to someone, ‘oh, you’re blessed today.’... I don’t like that cultish thing.”
• On Non-believers: Uncomfortable with people who come to church just to “nose,” prefers when newcomers engage and stay.
  • [10:32] “What gives them away?” – Tom
  • [10:35] “Because they won’t go and sit down in a space where they…” – Guest
  • [10:46] “I wouldn’t just walk into a Catholic church just like that. Just to nose... That does irritate me.”

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3. A Life Full of Raving, Joy, and Transformation

• Youthful Energy: Recounts raving, roller-skating, and soul music as her teen and young adult rituals (1970s, 80s).
  • [12:57] “Teenager in the 70s was... You went roller skating... Funky music, soul music. It was just fantastic.”
• On Not Needing Substances: Raving was about pure joy and dancing, not about drugs or excess.
  • [13:46] “People would say, are you lot on drugs? Because we used to just dance and enjoy ourselves... people couldn’t believe we were normal.”
• Transition to Seriousness: The 1990s marked a gradual shift to “seriousness”—the “Tony Blair era”—prompting changes in priorities and independence.
  • [14:31] “Yeah. Tony Blair’s era... he turned me serious.”
• Maintaining Childlike Spirit: Despite aging, she consciously maintains her youthful, playful disposition, especially by mixing with young people.
  • [15:24] “How do you keep that kind of childlike element alive…?”
  • [15:24] “I laugh a lot... I like young people being around... I can still connect in that way.”

4. On Aging, Family, and Relationships

• Aging on Her Own Terms: Embraces aging playfully, avoids “cantankerous” elders, and treasures fun, open-hearted older friends.
  • [15:46] “Young people keep you young.”
• Grandparenting: Known among young people as “young grandma,” blending wisdom and youthful energy.
  • [16:48] “Sometimes they say, oh, my young grandma. And we will hug and that’s easy.”
• Parenting: Her flair even embarrassed her son at times due to her bold fashion sense.
  • [18:18] “My son used to say, can you come to the school dressed like a normal mom?”
• Romantic Life:
  • Met her partner roller-skating; stayed together a few years before “evolving” apart.
    • [20:14] “Roller skating.”
    • [22:27] “No, no, he’s not my type anymore... Because you were young and crazy.”
  • Retired from romance after 1996 due to heartbreak and a desire for self-sufficiency.
    • [24:09] “No, I gave up that long time ago. I can’t be bothered.”
    • [25:33] “I guard my heart. Yeah. I started to guard my heart.”
  • Values companionship and other forms of love over seeking romantic relationships.
    • [25:51] “Because if I really wanted love, I would pray for it. And I haven’t been praying for it, so. No.”

5. Work, Community Service, and Philosophy

• Running a Food Bank: Passionate about supporting those in need, growing in empathy for struggling families, and rewarding connections.
  • [33:05] “You run a food bank?”
  • [33:58] “Like 80. 80 people and they might have 4, 5, 6, 3, 1 in their family... hundreds you’re helping.”
  • [34:50] “But now you got tons of food banks. It’s not a good sign.”
• Past Careers: Former ESOL teacher; found both teaching and food bank work meaningful and fulfilling.
  • [36:07] “I used to be an ESOL teacher, English as a Second language, and I taught so many people. That was one of the most rewarding jobs as well. And this...”
• Shift from Beauty Industry to Social Consciousness:
  • Left the beauty industry in the late 80s/early 90s due to a sense of superficiality.
  • [37:21] “No, I used to work in the beauty industry... It was so mindless. In the end, I thought, this is not for me.”

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6. Reflections on Materialism, Friendship, and Fate

• Material Minimalism: Places little value on material objects, values laughter, and connection over things.
  • [51:54] “What else do I have? Nothing really... Engaging with people... That’s what I love.”
• Found Objects: Shares the story of picking up a “Five Minute Journal” on the street and reading out gratitude and affirmation entries, leading to a poignant meditation on unknown lives and invisible struggles.
  • [52:26] “Five Minute Journal... I found this today.”
• Philosophy of Life and Death:
  • Finds funerals difficult but sees their social value in certain cultures.
  • Accepts “life goes on” as both melancholy and necessary.
  • [49:23] “The life goes on.” – Bertrand Russell referenced
  • [49:51] “I think that... the human being, you have no choice. You have to carry on.”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On independence:
  [24:30] “I like my own company. Yeah, I like my own company.”
• On spiritual feelings in church:
  [07:04] “It’s quite spiritual. Calmness and... Safe.”
• On youth and aging:
  [15:46] “Young people keep you young.”
• On romantic love:
  [26:04] “Romantic love is not a good idea.”
• On favoritism in church:
  [08:22] “Yeah. And so when you see the ones that you like, you’re like, yeah.”
• On meaningful work:
  [36:07] “That was one of the most rewarding jobs as well. And this...”
• On loss and moving forward:
  [49:23] “The life goes on.” – paraphrasing Bertrand Russell
• On the secret to great lemon drizzle cake:
  [45:38] “Love.”

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Sunday Morning Ritual and Juicing: [01:00 – 03:50]
• Reflections on Early Church Experiences & Community: [04:27 – 06:40]
• Discussing Church Preachers & Changes in Congregation: [07:29 – 08:20]
• Raving, Youth, and Fun in the 1970s-80s: [12:49 – 15:08]
• Discussion of Food Bank and Community Service: [33:00 – 36:10]
• Reflections on the Beauty Industry: [37:05 – 38:00]
• Material Things & The Five Minute Journal Story: [51:45 – 55:39]
• Ending and Her Plans for Later (Breaking Fast/‘What next?’): [56:17 – 56:54]
• Reflecting on Connection With Tom: [56:54 – 57:34]
• Original Song (“I’m Still the Girl I Was”): [57:44 – End]

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Final Song & Emotional Coda

The episode closes with a live, impromptu song (by a new voice, C, likely Tom or the guest), summing up the guest’s philosophy on aging, joy, and love:

• [57:44]
  “I’m still the girl I was... The child in me still dances on... Though now I got my giddy heart.
  You learn to live with all your scars and yes, I might have put romance aside
  But I’ve got so much love in my life... Oh, I thank God for making me that way.”

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Takeaways

This episode uncovers extraordinary richness in routine, faith, service and self-acceptance, reminding listeners of the transforming power of laughter, helping others, and greeting life with playful openness. The guest’s warmth and energy are ever-present, showing that even as romance or youth change, love—in all its forms—remains abundant and sustaining.

Highlight Moment:
[45:38] “What’s the secret to great lemon drizzle?”
“Love.” – Guest

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For more genuine, hilarious, and moving stories from anonymous Londoners, stay tuned for the next Strangers on a Bench.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially, I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? Are you ready for your first question?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good, good. Don't worry there's any question you don't like to say. Don't like it. Yeah. First question is a really nice and easy one that everyone gets, which is, do you have a favorite day of the week?

[B]

Sunday. That day I go to church and I can relax.

[A]

You can relax because you've gone to church or in church?

[B]

Both.

[A]

So what's your routine? Let's go through the Sunday, then. This special Sunday.

[B]

Wake up.

[A]

What time?

[B]

Very early. Sometimes like five, six.

[A]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What gets you up early?

[B]

When you're up early, just can't sleep.

[A]

And you're one of those people, if you can't sleep, you just go, you know what? I can't sleep.

[B]

I'm taking it. Yeah. I'm not gonna lay there worrying about it. Get up and do something.

[A]

Yes. So when you're doing something, what is that?

[B]

Perhaps make juices.

[A]

Oh, make a juice?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For yourself?

[B]

For myself.

[A]

That makes sense. Multiple juices, not just one.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe carrots juice.

[A]

Fantastic.

[B]

Orange juice.

[A]

What goes in a carrot juice?

[B]

Apple.

[A]

First ingredient of a carrot juice is apple.

[B]

An apple.

[A]

When does the carrot go in together?

[B]

Apple and carrot and beetroot? Sometimes.

[A]

Nice. You're making juice sometimes at 5am on a Sunday morning. Can it ever be too early for a juice?

[B]

No, it's never too early.

[A]

How loud is your juicer? That's the first time I've asked it that on a bench.

[B]

Quite loud. But I live alone, so that's handy. Yeah.

[A]

Can you mimic the sound the juicer makes?

[B]

Grr.

[A]

Fantastic. Okay.

[B]

To me, it's the best thing I've ever bought myself. I've had it for, like, 20 years.

[A]

Wow. And it's still going?

[B]

Yeah. A Bosch. I recommend.

[A]

This is. This is an effort for Bosch now. They should be paying. Paying us. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If Bosch send me money, I'll give it straight to you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because, you know, you deserve it. I know. It's nice to hear things lasting 20 years.

[B]

Yeah. Isn't it amazing?

[A]

That's particularly lovely.

[B]

I'm from Argos.

[A]

That's another. It's another app. Chuck her in there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fantastic. And so do you have a ritual about consuming the juice? Walking through the house? He's doing. I don't know what else you'd be doing.

[B]

I sit down, get my phone out and relax and then I'll have it for like two days.

[A]

Oh, so you do loads.

[B]

Yeah. The reason being I can't stand having to wash up all the bits to the juicer. That's the only thing I don't like.

[A]

Bosch are taking back their money now.

[B]

So I've got to be in the mood to do my juicing and to wash up after.

[A]

Yes, yes, exactly. I appreciate that. So then you've got. Okay, so then you're having a juice. Church is coming. When do you start your preparations for church?

[B]

Around nine. And I walk. I want to walk.

[A]

It's important that you walk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fantastic. So does that change your outfit at all?

[B]

Yes. Oh, that's a good one. I have to wear good trainers. Yes. I can't wear anything girly or high.

[A]

Heels would be convocated.

[B]

Definitely not. You know, so you are right. It's important that I plan my outfits. Trousers, trainers. But not too have a bit of femininity to it.

[A]

Yes, absolutely. Perfect.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A question came to me just then. Do you remember the first time ever in a church in your life I.

[B]

Said, girl, maybe when I was 4 or 5.

[A]

What's your first memory of being in a church?

[B]

Having a gorgeous pink skirt and it was accordion pleats. You won't know that word.

[A]

You don't really know that word.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's all pleats. Fine. Pleats.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well maybe I do then. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And I had it spread out on the bench and no one could sit near you. Near me.

[A]

Was that a deliberate.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I want the whole thing to be out. I wanted my style. I love my skirts. I wanted it to be seen.

[A]

I'd really like that. Fantastic.

[B]

Yeah. That's funny. I just remember that is the reason.

[A]

You go to church now. Has it changed at all over the years? You see what I mean?

[B]

It has changed because it was quite multi generational and also there are more women, especially middle aged women in our churches now.

[A]

Okay. Why is that?

[B]

I don't know. I think men just not from our culture, Caribbean culture, they just. They've made themselves independent of churches.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, some are still there.

[A]

Why do you think that's happened?

[B]

I don't know. I don't think the church carries the power that it had before community. You know, people isolated in the 60s, 70s, 80s. Now people are. They're integrated more. I guess.

[A]

What for you is like the most important moment when you're in church.

[B]

Oh, the gospel singing.

[A]

It's the singing, yeah. It's always. Singing is always the most important thing, isn't it?

[B]

Yeah. I love that.

[A]

Fantastic. Do you really go for it?

[B]

I like the singing. I participate in the singing, but I haven't got a good singing voice, but I still try.

[A]

How do you know you don't have a good singing voice?

[B]

Just know it.

[A]

A lot of people think they don't sing very well and they actually do. I think I found.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And what are the emotions you're getting when you're singing?

[B]

It's quite spiritual. Calmness and. Safe.

[A]

Yeah, that's a nice word, safe. I like that. I don't think about that with singing, but it is safe, isn't it? You feel like, what can go wrong if you're singing?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's a safe spot. I like that. I remember that. That's a good thought. Are there any moments in church which you would rather not happen?

[B]

You get some people who are preaching and they're a bit egotistical. They want. I don't like it when people are over the top.

[A]

Yeah. When you say over the top, we say.

[B]

I hate it when they say to someone, oh, you're blessed today. And you know, I don't like that cultish thing.

[A]

You don't like forced. Forced fun?

[B]

Yes. I don't mind if it's a couple of times, but I don't like it the entire service.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And some people, they like to preach that way.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

But I feel as though I must do it if. If everybody's doing it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the part.

[A]

But do you tell people you don't like a particular preacher?

[B]

No, I just keep it to myself.

[A]

To yourself. That's. That's fair enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you don't know who's going to turn up in any given Sunday?

[B]

No, I don't know who's going to preach.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I've got some favorite ones.

[A]

Yeah. And so when you see the ones that you like, you're like, yeah.

[B]

Yes, it's going to be a good day because I know this style.

[A]

Can you think of a time you've been which has been particularly important, that you've been. Do you see what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. During COVID times. I didn't go at all.

[A]

Was it still operating?

[B]

Yes, but people had to sit.

[A]

You could have worn one of your dresses.

[B]

Yeah, I could have.

[A]

Could have. Perfect time. Really.

[B]

Like a peacock.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So you didn't go then?

[B]

I didn't go then. Because it was just seemed to be overwhelming everything that was going on. People were scared and. Yeah, that time. And then one day I just said to myself, oh, I'm going to go back. And I started going, how do you.

[A]

Feel about people going to church and not necessarily believing in a God? What do you think about that?

[B]

I tell you what, it's funny that you said that because I always sit at the back, like second seat in.

[A]

Oh, no, not on the right. Oh, is it always the same seat?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, brilliant.

[B]

And it's so funny because there are people who. They're members, but they've never spoken to me. And I enjoy telling them, you've passed me here for 20 years. You've never said hello.

[A]

And will you tell them at some point?

[B]

Because if they say, oh, are you a member? And I went, well, I've been sitting there.

[A]

They've not seen you.

[B]

I think people are so zoned in spiritually, I think that's what it is.

[A]

Well, that's an easy excuse though, isn't it?

[B]

And they apologize. They go, I swear I did not see you. Just me. It's okay.

[A]

I see. My question was whether non believers should go to.

[B]

Oh, yeah, let's get back to that. So the reason why I'm. I mean, I'm sitting there. But what I've noticed, I find that people just walk into nose and I feel uncomfortable with that. You'd know that they're not believers.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And that can.

[A]

What gives them away?

[B]

Because they won't go and sit down in a space where they.

[A]

Oh, I see. They're like standing there staying. I see.

[B]

Yeah. And I find that a bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't just walk into a Catholic church just like that. Just to nose. Yeah, I. That does irritate me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I know they're not staying.

[A]

Yeah. Interesting. So it's okay if someone comes and they kind of get involved a bit more and talk to people a bit more.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I don't mind if they come in and stay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For a while. That's different.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, of course. What's a. Perfect. So if you were. Let's imagine a scenario. Okay. The person that runs your church or the preacher. Yeah. They give you a call and they say, hello, We've decided, you know, we've seen you at the back there for 20. Over 20 years now, and we've seen you're a dedicated churchgoer. We want to give you the power to decide what our next service looks like and how it runs. And, you know, what would you Change.

[B]

Oh, my God. I like what they do. I'm okay with it. But like I said, I don't like over the top preaching.

[A]

So you just get rid of them?

[B]

Yeah. You would send them out, give them a turn?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's all right. I'm quite happy with the. It's quite diverse, you know, Men, women, preach young, old.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How young are we talking?

[B]

Teenagers.

[A]

Teenagers?

[B]

Yeah. They come.

[A]

Teenage preachers.

[B]

We had a youth program thing going on yesterday and they basically ran the service, reading scriptures and singing and, you.

[A]

Know, when you see a teenager up there doing it, are you like, you know, I can't really get on board with this as a teenager.

[B]

They're part of us and they're the future. They are the future and they're going to carry on.

[A]

Yeah, hopefully. Yes, you're right. What were you like as a teenager?

[B]

Oh, I liked to party.

[A]

Did you?

[B]

I like to go raving.

[A]

Oh, fantastic. What happened at a rave? Take me through a rave.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

What did it mean to you? What was it?

[B]

Well, teenager in the 70s was. You went roller skating.

[A]

Roller skating at the rave.

[B]

That was like our rave then.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Funky music, soul music. It was just fantastic. 70s, 80s, 90s has slowed down a bit.

[A]

You slowed down in the 90s?

[B]

Yes. I wasn't painting the town red anymore.

[A]

Yeah. So 70s, 80s, your heyday of raving?

[B]

Yes, of raving.

[A]

And what did raving kind of teach you about existence?

[B]

People were just happy. We weren't politicized, just close and going out and having fun. No drugs?

[A]

No drugs at all.

[B]

People would say, are you lot on drugs? Because we used to just dance and enjoy ourselves and people couldn't believe we were normal.

[A]

But it's so possible, isn't it? It's so possible. I think people forget that the whole point is when you start dancing, then you release things rather than. They think they need some kind of substance before they get to that point, but actually, as soon as you start dancing, stuff is released. It's like a kind of drunkenness anyway.

[B]

Yeah, okay. We wouldn't mind one drink for the night. We were very cheap.

[A]

Perfect. Perfect. So at some point, does this mean you hung up your raving shoes?

[B]

Yeah, around the 90s.

[A]

The 90s.

[B]

It became serious.

[A]

Yeah. Is that when he turned serious?

[B]

Yeah. Tony Blair's era.

[A]

Tony Blair turned you? He turned me serious. He did that to a few people, probably. So do you feel like you still express enough of that? Whatever you would call that unseriousness. The play now?

[B]

Yes. Oh, yes, yes. I mean, my personality is like a little bit the same, but as you know, when you get older. I'm now 65, so, yeah, I can't go around in my miniskirts and all that anymore.

[A]

I mean, people are very concerned with their own lives. Maybe no one would notice. You should go around how you want to go around.

[B]

No way. No way.

[A]

So how do you keep that kind of childlike element alive, do you think, when you're 65?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I laugh a lot. I am. I like young people being around young people. I don't really like old people.

[A]

Oh, really? What's wrong with them?

[B]

I don't like if they're cantankerous or. They are. What's wrong with them?

[A]

There's gonna be something. You don't want to hang out with them.

[B]

I just like the energy of young people because I'm still childlike. Sometimes I forget, you know, your age. 17 year old, 20 year old. I can still connect in that way.

[A]

Which means that you do have that child in you.

[B]

Yeah, my nature.

[A]

Otherwise you. You can't, you know, they wouldn't relate to you if you didn't have a bit of that in you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All these children, you're related. Young people. Sorry, you're relating to. How. How are they part of your life?

[B]

Some are. We work at the food bank or a youth club center where I know people. I take young people there and. Yeah.

[A]

And you just kind of lock in.

[B]

Yeah. Can really.

[A]

That's so lovely.

[B]

Yeah. Can really, you know, understand them.

[A]

Yeah. Do you have any. Would you count them as friends or. They kind of.

[B]

Yeah, they're saying, oh. Sometimes they say, oh, my young grandma. And we will hug and that's easy.

[A]

Young grandma?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you a grandmother?

[B]

I am a grandmother.

[A]

Oh, so you are. You are a grandmother.

[B]

But I am very, very childlike, I believe. And I like old people who are childlike. Like, I know this woman, she's an artist. And I went to the over 60s club and I met her there. Right over there. And she said to me, oh, I can't sit here, you know, playing bingo and all that. I have things to do. She's like 19. Yes. And I thought she was brilliant. I love that. So I know all these older people. I know people in their 80s who are fun. So I seek out the fun ones. 70s, 80s.

[A]

So do you think that essentially people get. A lot of people get older age?

[B]

Bit wrong. Yes. It's about the mindset.

[A]

The way to do it, you think, is to spend as Much time with younger people as you can. Young people keep you young.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

That's wonderful. What's it like being a grandparent? What's it like being a parent?

[B]

I was still, like. I was still fun, you know. My son used to say, can you come to the school dressed like a normal mom?

[A]

What were you dressing like?

[B]

Because I had on my skirt. Skirter here. You know, dressed up.

[A]

Oh, fantastic.

[B]

One child, well, a couple of them said, michael, there's a bird looking for you. Because that's no bird. That's my mom.

[A]

That's a bird. That's brilliant.

[B]

Yes. I was always so.

[A]

You're always. Yeah, but that's also what happens, I think, so this, you know, people become parents and they think they have to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

X amount more serious.

[B]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[A]

I suppose it's funny, isn't it, because, you know, life is serious enough. As in you can't avoid all the serious things that are everywhere. There's nothing you can do about it.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

That is implicit in life. So, you know, with whatever you can to make it lighter. Why not make it lighter for everybody?

[B]

Yeah. You know, I don't understand. People want to be old before their time. Like I said, I love these older women and they're fun, you know. I went to see one after church yesterday. She's 82, and she was just telling me about when she met her husband. She was like 15 in the Caribbean and. And her grandfather used to tell her, don't go to the beach because you might, you know, you might drown in the water. So she went to the beach. She'd have to make sure she's washed off all the sand.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was just sitting there listening.

[A]

Oh, lovely.

[B]

Then he came to England and he. He sent for her. She was like 16.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Coming here.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

Yeah. And it was a wonderful marriage. I told her, I said, someone told me that your husband was like the best husband. He was so loving and caring. Go see, he was, oh, so sweet.

[A]

How about you? And you're the father of your children. Was that a good story?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good.

[A]

How did you meet?

[B]

Roller skating.

[A]

Roller skating?

[B]

Disco.

[A]

And he was on roller skates as well.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. We're all on roller skates.

[A]

All on roller skates. Did he just ride into each other? Ride, skate into each other. I've got myself, my friends and I.

[B]

We used to fall down on purpose so the guys could come and pick us up.

[A]

Brilliant. How do you do it? Convincingly? Just kind of like, oh, the arms come Out.

[B]

Oh, but you're going to laugh at this. I went, my grandson, for his birthday, he wanted to go to roller skating. So last November. Well, you've never seen anything like it. I was holding on to the bars.

[A]

It didn't come flooding back. The memory, many, many years.

[B]

I mean, I'm not confident. And my grandson's going, he's 80s going, come on, come on, you know you can do it. And I'm thinking, what is scaring me? I don't want to break anything.

[A]

Yeah. This wouldn't have happened in the 80s. You weren't worried about breaking things in the 80s.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

You just worry about falling over on purpose.

[B]

Yeah. I saw a girl with crutches. I went, did you do that here? She went, yeah.

[A]

I went, okay, you're back holding on. After that, you could fall down legitimately. Now, how quickly would these gentlemen swoop in when you did fall over?

[B]

In those days, guys used to be so cool and they'd run over and help you.

[A]

And this is what happened with.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then how quickly were you, you know, were you lovers?

[B]

No, not really. Because in those days you have to flirt for a long while.

[A]

How long?

[B]

Like knew him for about a year or two.

[A]

That's a lot of flirting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then at some point he asked you. You asked him.

[B]

Yeah, asked me out. And that was it. After that we got together.

[A]

And how quickly did you have a baby together?

[B]

I think after two years.

[A]

And then are you to get still together?

[B]

No, no, he's not my type anymore.

[A]

Oh, good. But anymore, that implies that at some point he was your type.

[B]

Yes. Because you were young and crazy.

[A]

What point did you realize that he wasn't your type anymore?

[B]

Maybe after four years, five years, girls, you change, you know. Yeah.

[A]

This is actually something that I've realizing is one of the big problems for all relationships really about, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People meet at one point. Sometimes one person especially women tend to evolve.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Much more than men. There's a bit of a generalization, but men do often just stick to their.

[B]

Yeah. They don't seem.

[A]

And they don't seem to move that much.

[B]

Yeah. Friends are the same.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then. Yeah, then it's tricky after a certain time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How complicated was that time in terms of separating? And was it difficult?

[B]

No, no, I was. Sorry. Because when you're young, sounds quite relaxed. Yeah. But we get on very well. We still.

[A]

Wonderful. Yes, that's lovely.

[B]

But he seems, he, he. He's very serious. Not like me.

[A]

So that Wouldn't have worked for you.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, he's gone serious.

[A]

He's. He's gone. We've lost him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he moans we've lost him to the. The serious.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

Are you in love now?

[B]

No, I gave up that long time ago. I can't be bothered.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Oh, gosh, no.

[A]

That'S brilliant. Tell me why you can't. What. What is it that'd be such a bother about it for you? You wouldn't be able to. Your juicing at 7:00am?

[B]

Yeah, I like my own company.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I like my own company.

[A]

What do you like about it?

[B]

Just being still and not having to think about, oh, is that person going to change and start behaving differently and all that kind of. Look, I realize I can't control people. I can only control myself, so. And trust and things like that. I haven't got time for all that.

[A]

I mean, what point was your kind of Tony Blair moment? But with. With love.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think the Raven.

[B]

Around 1996 again, in the 90s, I started not being.

[A]

It's quite specific.

[B]

Yes, I know. When. What happened in 1996, I had a relationship. I mean, broke down and then I thought, I can't be bothered with this. You can't trust people. They are disingenuous.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I guard my heart. Yeah. I started to guard my heart.

[A]

Yeah. Do you think. Do you feel content with that decision or there ever be a time where you thought, I wish I didn't retire in 1996?

[B]

No. No regrets. Because if I really wanted love, I would pray for it. And I haven't been praying for it, so. No.

[A]

But obviously you have other types of love.

[B]

Oh, gosh, yes. Yes. Oh, I love people.

[A]

Do you think we place too much emphasis on romantic love generally?

[B]

I remember learning about that in philosophy and all that. Yeah. Romantic love is not a good idea.

[A]

I love that. I love that. I mean, what's quite funny is, you're probably right, but it is. It is exciting. And I think, you know, we. We create, we crave that. That kind of excitement.

[B]

Sometimes validation is nice. It's love. Yeah. Have passion. But maybe we just don't know the real definition of romantic love. Maybe it's not what we think it is. It should be.

[A]

I'm not sure, but I suppose everyone's always searching for it on the whole, aren't they? And then. Yeah, but that's the whole point. It's difficult to know where it comes from, what it is. I might have the best.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Romantic connection with a 85 year old for what? I know I'm not gonna do it. You know Macron. Macron, yes, exactly. Maybe. Maybe he's got the right idea. Maybe everyone laughs at him. But maybe he's right. I mean. But that's it.

[B]

I mean, maybe he's right.

[A]

Who knows?

[B]

You never know. Yes. What it is about a romantic love. Like I said, people change. They change. They might wake up one morning, oh, I'm not in love with you.

[A]

And then when that happens, often you're just stuck, of course. Aren't you? Right?

[B]

Yes. It would be fine if at the same time you both decided. Yeah, but can you imagine you're still there with the idea.

[A]

No, exactly.

[B]

It's too much.

[A]

So how old were you when you retired then from romantic life? You said that's quite a while ago. You would have still been like 2,000.

[B]

You know, I've been on dates. But to be in love, Never again. It didn't happen again. Yeah, no.

[A]

Do you ever have those little moments where you're walking along and you think of someone around that kind of time who you did have a strong connection with, who maybe got away somehow or didn't the timing wasn't right. Do you have those?

[B]

I still reflect on. Yeah. Yeah. This one, he's American, he lives in America. And I thought his. His personalities Persona. I really liked it cuz he thought I was funny. Thought I was so crazy.

[A]

You are funny.

[B]

And I could be myself with him. Yeah.

[A]

That's wonderful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What went wrong?

[B]

Well, he lives in America and.

[A]

Oh, you meet in America?

[B]

Yeah, I met him here.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Then he moved back London. But then I didn't want to live in America anyway. I didn't pursue it. But yeah, I thought, oh gosh, he was so nice. Yeah. Kind and gentle.

[A]

Yes. It's also a terrible tragedy to think that for romance to work you do need a lot of luck. And then sometimes these people come into your life and then they're off and that's it. You need so much luck for both people to be aligned in like geography and age and in what is happening in one's life. Miracles, maybe you needed. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're not going to meet anyone in church, do you don't think? No, no hotties in church.

[B]

No hotties. The thing with me is, A, I don't want anybody my age and B, I don't want anybody younger. I don't think there's a.

[A]

That's got A. There's no problem there.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know Maybe if somebody my age, but with my kind of, you know, childlike nature, there must be that.

[A]

Out there somewhere, you know.

[B]

Wow. I wonder, you know. Yeah, there might be.

[A]

There should be a probably. There probably is already, but some kind of app for, you know, childlike older people.

[B]

I'm gonna start it.

[A]

Does it up.

[B]

You got a computer?

[A]

Yeah. I definitely know some people that it could be. Perfect.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We haven't done much of your Sunday yet. We already got to church.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So much more of the Sunday to go.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Long's the walk to church?

[B]

Walk to church, 40 minutes. If I'm relaxed, if I'm not rushing.

[A]

What's your walking style like?

[B]

Like a model.

[A]

Brilliant with the skirt, elegant.

[B]

But I've got my trainers on.

[A]

Do you find you on the Sundays going to church? You're looking outward more or you're more inward?

[B]

Outwards. People smile at me and I think, oh, that's a nice blessings, you know. That is lovely, isn't it, that people let me cross the road. All that I see as I'm grateful. It's gratitude. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

How are you changed on the way back? The walk different? Is it even more gratitude?

[B]

Oh, I'm filled with spiritual, you know, I'm happy.

[A]

More spirit, more spiritualness in there. Have you ever doubted your faith?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

When was that, 1996.

[B]

No, not really. It's not that. It wasn't that I doubted it, but I didn't put as much emphasis in going to church.

[A]

Yeah. But was that for a particular reason?

[B]

I think I got a bit busy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And tired and.

[A]

You know, before asleep.

[B]

Oh, God, that's another problem now, is it? I am falling asleep. I'm just hoping that I'm not going to ask anybody if I'm snoring, but I'm a bit concerned about that. Falling asleep.

[A]

All right. I mean, it's. Everyone has naps. Even young people have naps, you know. Do you nap otherwise you're a napper?

[B]

Not really, because I'm dead nosy, so I don't want to miss anything so.

[A]

Ever in life. So you have to just napper.

[B]

Yeah, I like to eat. Like I worked yesterday and, you know, I run a food bank and I was really tired, like six o', clock, seven. So I had a bit of sleep then, now woke up, did bits and pieces and then I went to sleep again and then I woke up at 3 and then I didn't go back to sleep until 5.

[A]

Wild. So what did you watch at 3am?

[B]

All these podcasts. I don't have a TV, I don't want it.

[A]

So you're listening? So you're listening, not watching?

[B]

Yes, I'm listening.

[A]

You can listen to this one now.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You run a food bank?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You run it. That's it. That's a serious job. How have you found that?

[B]

I find that now. Donations gone down a bit, you know, it's necessary. You have to help some people. You have to help people. What else? People are really grateful that we do it and especially children are on holidays, you know, they eat a lot. Parents. Yeah. They need the support, the extra help. Every little helps, you know Tesco's. Oh, is it Tesco?

[A]

Another advert.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Getting the advertising there now. They really don't need any help.

[B]

Descript.

[A]

No, they're doing all right, I think. Exactly. Without anyone helping.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So how many families roughly are coming or people are coming through?

[B]

Like 80. 80 people and they might have 4, 5, 6, 3, 1 in their family.

[A]

There's hundreds you're helping?

[B]

Yeah, about that and.

[A]

Yeah. What have you learned about the people who come through and what have you learned about.

[B]

Well, I've met some wonderful people, you know, especially those who say, I'm not going to use it, give it to someone else. You know, people consider it like that. I keep saying to people in the 70s growing up, my parents, they were on three days a week, there were loads of strikes and everything, but that concept of food bank did not exist. But now you got tons of food banks.

[A]

It's not a good sign, is it really?

[B]

No, definitely not.

[A]

It's a funny idea, the thought that something, you know, just shouldn't exist. No, but it's, it's wonderful effort from the people who are doing it that it does.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's just so sad that it just needs to happen in the first place.

[B]

Shouldn't be, not in a rich country, shouldn't. I mean, I've come across a couple, middle class looking couple at the time, I could never imagine that this couple were struggling, didn't have food. They've moved away now because they just couldn't afford to live in London. They had a little baby and the lady, when we struck a conversation and I realized I need to help her, give her some food and she would cry, hug me and cry. But you, if you see them walking along, you wouldn't know that they had a problem.

[A]

Yeah, it's mad, isn't it?

[B]

It's mad that and the little baby boy used to call me kind lady.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Kind lady.

[A]

Oh, that's so Sweet. Yeah. So you find it a rewarding thing to do?

[B]

Absolutely, absolutely. I used to be an ESOL teacher, English as a Second language, and I taught so many people. That was one of the most rewarding jobs as well. And this.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God. I love dealing with people.

[A]

That's it, isn't it? If you've got people around, Yeah. I suppose it can be a source of pain, source of joy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you always worked with people?

[B]

Yes, but before that, I used to be into the beauty thing.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it all started when you were four?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it all comes back. You needed space, and I've changed. And then. When did that stop? 1996.

[B]

1992. Let me tell you, when I became more conscious, about 80, 89.

[A]

So at some point you were all about the beauty, about your own beauty?

[B]

No, I used to work in the beauty industry. Makeup, perfume, all that kind of stuff. It was so mindless. In the end, I thought, this is not for me. And I came out of it.

[A]

I noticed, with my own daughters.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's so much stuff about this. Outward things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just like they're kind of really interested in perfumes and stuff. Like, why are you bothering? It's just. It's just complete nonsense, you know? But at some point, you realize. Was there a moment in 1988 which made you aware of anything?

[B]

One day I just stood there in Harvey Nichols and I said to myself, this is just so mindless.

[A]

Were you working there?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. You weren't just there?

[B]

Yeah, I was working.

[A]

You didn't go there?

[B]

And I went to find out about doing a course, and I did Access to Learning, which is like equivalent to A levels. And then I went to university and did sociology. But it was weird because all my social. My friends were still in that field.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, dear. That's true.

[B]

And I'd removed myself.

[A]

What do they think of you just taking yourself off?

[B]

Well, they liked what they were doing because you got discount. That's another thing.

[A]

Of course, you didn't have to. That's how they get you the discount.

[B]

Yeah. They get you with the discount. Now I've got to put pay full price for things. Took me a long time to.

[A]

To get over it.

[B]

Yeah. To be socially conscious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's hard.

[A]

Yeah. Did you lose any of those friends?

[B]

Not really. I would go in.

[A]

They still spoke to you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even though you thought samples, you kept. You kept your hand in, but. So now, how do you feel about beauty things? You took care about your clothes. Obviously, you're very well Dressed, actually.

[B]

And this is just rubbish clothes.

[A]

No, but I like it.

[B]

Hello. Hello. You're looking very pretty. Oh, thank you. I'm an old woman, but thank you. How are you? You okay? Yeah. Okay. Have a lovely day. Bye. Bye. Bye, bye.

[A]

Another friend?

[B]

No, I've never met.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Do you know, this always happens to me. My friend came from Rome and I took her to Yorkshire to Harate. And we're sitting in the park, I had a conversation with this woman. My friend went, do you know her? I went, no. Incredible.

[A]

She couldn't believe you were a perfect candidate. Maybe that's how you attracted me as well. Maybe you just got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think if you have that energy, you have that energy. It's an interesting one, isn't it? The aura that people carry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I do often think about why I approach the people I approach. And it is often a very. It's a very instinctual thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a kind of gut feeling.

[B]

I'm like that. I'm into feelings. I'm into how I see people, what energy I'm getting from them. I'm into all that completely.

[A]

I think energy is so amazing, isn't it? In the sense that you, for instance, can give off a certain energy even without moving. Even the way you're sitting, the way you're looking, just looking at the world. Something emanates, something flowers. I saw it from quite a long way away, I think even.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Because I was over there. I was well over there. I looked down, I was like, oh, that person feels. We're going to wander down. Okay, so let's go back to this special Sunday.

[B]

Oh, yeah, my Sunday. So then lately I've been stopping off at my friend's house and she always has food.

[A]

Andy. So you just raid the fridge.

[B]

Yeah, I'll go in. Rice and peas.

[A]

She's making something in just.

[B]

She'll have made it before she went to church. She goes to another church.

[A]

Oh, rival church.

[B]

Close.

[A]

And you just rock around for a meal.

[B]

Yeah, I just.

[A]

Perfect. Uninvited?

[B]

Yeah, uninvited.

[A]

That's perfect.

[B]

But it was what we used to do traditionally. Caribbean people used to have an open house.

[A]

Wonderful.

[B]

So you'd go and you would eat. There'd be soup there on a Saturday. There'll be something else on a Sunday.

[A]

So you just know. I'm guessing you have to know them a bit, no.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you know them a bit. Or their daughters or their sons.

[A]

You don't have to know them too well.

[B]

Not too well, you don't have to.

[A]

That's wonderful.

[B]

Yeah. I said to her, my God, I found somebody with this policy still going. And I'm so happy. We all chat, you know, because she's 70, but she doesn't look it.

[A]

Is she one of the old people you like? One of those rare old people you like?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe you should be an old person, coach. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

How to be old but not really old.

[A]

Yeah. People send their overly serious old people.

[B]

Get back into your childlike nature and.

[A]

Let'S get it back. Let's find it again. Yes, absolutely amazing. So you go for lunch and then what happens? Lunch is a couple of hours long.

[B]

Well, I only want to stay for. What time would that be? Around 3. 3.

[A]

How long are you in church for?

[B]

I'm in church till 2 o'. Clock. From 11. I get there about 11 or 10 30. Sometimes I get there.

[A]

Yeah. What would happen if you arrived and someone was in your seat?

[B]

I'm upset. I'll be upset.

[A]

What would you do?

[B]

I wouldn't ask them to move. I would sit somewhere and wish and hope that they'll get up and go to another.

[A]

You'd wish they would hope to get. Get up. You know, this struck down.

[B]

I'm so. Yeah.

[A]

If you're in like, I don't know, like another place with seats. Let's just say you went to the cinema. Would you also go to the second back row on the right?

[B]

No, I'm all right. If I go to the theater, I'm all right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's just the chair. But I have noticed a few things like that in my behavior. And I'm saying to my. I wonder if I've got. Got autism.

[A]

Oh, because maybe you have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, but I think then you would have to do it everywhere. No, not just the church. Church, autism. I'm not sure qualify. Yeah. I think you might struggle to get a diagnosis. It's just church.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But you never know.

[B]

True.

[A]

But we'll find out. Maybe.

[B]

Yeah. So I'll stay there. Last night I didn't get home till after 6.

[A]

Big day.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So you're having the lunch for three hours? What kind of thing are you talking about?

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

What did you talk about?

[B]

Charity. What we're doing, the past, what we're trying to fund. All different things.

[A]

So you just have a good natter of three hours and then.

[B]

And then I head home and then I feel tired.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's been a long day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of walking. A Lot of talking, a lot of sitting, a lot of listening, a lot of singing. You've pretty much done everything on that day.

[B]

Yes, you're right. You know, no wonder I'm nappy.

[A]

Mentally and physically.

[B]

And physically.

[A]

And then. So today is your recovery day.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Where you can just take a breather, sit on a bench, get bothered. Get bothered by me. And then. Does it end with the juice? You get the juice out at the end.

[B]

No, I'll eat something again before I go to bed. No juice. I wanted to bake a cake, but I didn't. I didn't have the energy because I'm known for my lemon drizzle.

[A]

Are you?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So you're known for your lemon drizzle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But how many did you have to make before they loved it? You can't be the first one you.

[B]

Ever made, even the first one people loved.

[A]

Really? When Was this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

1996 or 1996.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. Only. When did I start? Before COVID Oh, okay.

[A]

Recently.

[B]

Yes. I thought I couldn't bake.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I used to say if I could bake, I'd be like this.

[A]

You just did a gesture.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, brilliant.

[B]

Really? That would be huge.

[A]

The arms are spread out wide, Basically.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the secret to great lemon drizzle?

[B]

Love.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice. We do need that.

[B]

She smiles when I said love.

[A]

Love.

[B]

You see that word love every time.

[A]

People come past to say love.

[B]

Love.

[A]

To see what they do and you.

[B]

Have a bit of music going.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Love.

[A]

Maybe we should just do that as people come past. Yeah, that'll be the rest of the day.

[B]

But the other day, my friend, my Italian friend, her mom died and I surprised her and I did Nigel Lawson's.

[A]

Guinness cake, another advert for someone. And I don't know, maybe you should go into advertising.

[B]

I know you could be a.

[A]

You could be an influencer. Yeah, I've done Nigella Lawson, Tesco Bosch.

[B]

Yeah, that Was.

[A]

And Argos.

[B]

4.

[A]

What a day for them.

[B]

So I did that. That Guinness cake.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

That was.

[A]

And you gave it to the.

[B]

Yeah, as a gift. Yeah. And lemon drizzle.

[A]

So is it like your mum's died? Here's a cake.

[B]

No, no, no. The funeral. The funeral.

[A]

I mean, it's a good present to give someone, you know. Do you eat your own cake? So at the funeral?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you make sure you have your own cake? Because you know it's good.

[B]

No, I didn't eat it.

[A]

Or do you leave it? Do you. Does that make you leave it for other people. Are you watching people eat it?

[B]

Oh, yes. And I was pleasantly surprised. Her uncles, they are Italian bakers and they loved it. This is me. Oh, God. Well, I'm dead. Good, then. I'm really good at this.

[A]

Professional. Maybe another thing.

[B]

Yeah. My friend said. Oh, my uncle, they loved it. Okay.

[A]

This sounds like a great funeral for you. Sounds like you really came out of that boy.

[B]

Yes, yes. Yeah. So, so happy about that.

[A]

Do they know as you made it, they didn't know. You're just really, really close. Who's that lady that's watching us?

[B]

Or is it gone? They liked it. That's brilliant.

[A]

Are you good at funerals? You tell you. You good in there? Do you enjoy them?

[B]

Not really, no.

[A]

Because someone died.

[B]

I mean, I try not to go too many, you know.

[A]

You try your best not.

[B]

But I know people, they go every. Like Caribbean people and Irish people.

[A]

Always dying.

[B]

No, no, not dying. But they love.

[A]

They love funerals.

[B]

It's not that they love it. They put a love emphasis on.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Helping and. Yeah. That's what I've been to a lot.

[A]

You've been to a lot of funerals?

[B]

Not really. No. No. I try not to go because I told you, I don't like oldness.

[A]

Yeah. And that's a kind of indicator.

[B]

Yeah. That's a sign of being old. But, you know, I observe and I think, God, after this day, people just getting on with their lives and you've gone. Yeah. I mean, what else can you do?

[A]

There's a philosopher, I think. What's his name? I might be getting this wrong, but Famous host called Bertrand Russell. Oh, yeah, no, Bertrand, yeah, you know, Bush Russell, of course.

[B]

I mean, I don't know.

[A]

It'd be great if you did. So I think someone asked him at some point, you know. You know, what have you really learned about existence, you know, in all your years? You know, he was close to. He's close to dying and he just said, the life goes on.

[B]

Yes, I'm sure it's a real thing. Some people see things and say why? I see things and say, why not?

[A]

Yeah, that sounds. That sounds. It was a good quote, regardless of whoever said it.

[B]

Life goes on.

[A]

But how does that make you feel? The thought of life going on? Does it make you feel just more relaxed or melancholy?

[B]

Make me a bit sad, you know, the next day, people getting on with their lives and, you know, if you've had the loss, you're like in a different world.

[A]

Of course. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think that. It does make me think sometimes but the human being, you have no choice. You have to carry on.

[A]

Say again?

[B]

They look alike.

[A]

Yeah. People look like their dog.

[B]

That's.

[A]

It's a bit similar to how people often look like their partners.

[B]

Yes, I've seen that. I thought the same.

[A]

Which is kind of funny. We love people to look exactly like us. And also animals, as it goes. We just. We just want a mirror. That's all we need.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's one big mirror. Be fine. But how many mirrors do you have in your house? That's the first time I've asked that question.

[B]

One, two. A full one and a one on the wall. I like mirrors for space.

[A]

Oh. To give the illusion.

[B]

Illusion of space. But not to be there in the mirror all the time. No.

[A]

Yeah. You do look in your. Look at yourself.

[B]

Not really.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When you see yourself jumping around, I.

[A]

Love that you're right. It should be too busy looking in the mirror. But when you do catch a look at yourself in the mirror, what do you think? What do you see?

[B]

I am thinking you have got old.

[A]

Is that the only thing you think about?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Age.

[A]

Do you remember the first time you thought that?

[B]

Maybe in 50s, not with my skin, but around the eyes. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And then. Does that mean you look in the mirror less after that?

[B]

Yes. I avoid them. I'm not going to spend only for the makeup. And that's it. Oh, my God.

[A]

Do you have any. Do you have any funny objects in your house?

[B]

Funny.

[A]

What's the strangest object you have in your house?

[B]

Apart from my juicer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What else do I have? Nothing really. Because material things, really. I don't put much emphasis on material things. My thing. Engaging with people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Making people feel good and happy and laughter. That's what I love. I mean, my house. Go around, pick up things. Like I go around and I find things on the road.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever found anything strange on the street?

[B]

I found this today.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Five Minute Journal.

[A]

You found it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this was just on the street?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is there anyone written in it?

[B]

Only these two pages.

[A]

Oh. Can you read it? Can you read one bit out what someone said?

[B]

So this is the Five Minute Journal. And the headings are. I am grateful for what would make today great daily affirmation. Highlights of the day. What did I learn today?

[A]

What have they said?

[B]

Okay. I know. Imagine. I don't even know these people.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

I like this one. This is the first one. Okay. Work pays for therapy.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Chocolate chip cookies and tea. That's. I'm grateful for Right, right.

[A]

We know they've got a. They know they've got a job. We know they can't afford therapy without work payment.

[B]

Without work. And that's the emphasis.

[A]

And we know they need to go to therapy.

[B]

That's why they're really grateful. The other one, what would make make today great, relaxing evening. Optimistic outlook on work situation. Not overreaching to my brother's situation.

[A]

Oh, the brother's got a situation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is what. This is a great find.

[B]

Yes. Very interesting. Daily affirmation. I'm resilient and strong. I'm confident. And then highlights of the day. Arriving home after a long day. Also organized therapy.

[A]

Yeah. Organized therapy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a bit sad that arriving back home is a highlight of the day.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

That's just kind of getting home.

[B]

Yeah. That person is going through a lot. What did I learn today? Your voice is valued. Oh, this, Ah, ah, this one. This was the 31st of August. That's. That's 2020, though.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

My energy to be able to work and exercise my body for functioning as it. As it should.

[A]

It's just grateful what they're grateful for. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

My cat who gives me a nice hello. Okay, what would make today great? Accepting students who are respectful. Finishing Hayley's video.

[A]

Why does Hayley need a video?

[B]

I know. Daily affirmation. I can teach with confidence.

[A]

They're a teacher.

[B]

A teacher.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

And then this one. Highlights of the students were respectful. Lovely. Felt confident in my teaching. Oh, this is a lovely person. She cares. Or he cares. Seeing old faces. What did I learn today? Don't overdo it and push yourself too hard. And that was the final, final entry.

[A]

Well, they didn't push themselves too hard to do the entry to eat their diary up. They were living by their word. Don't push yourself too hard if you don't want to do the diary. Fantastic. It's been so nice to talk to you.

[B]

Yeah, I liked it.

[A]

I liked it, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's one question I've got to ask you at the end, which I always finish with the same end question. So what are you going to do next?

[B]

Well, I fasted today.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm going to go and eat. Food is a very important part of my life. I like to eat.

[A]

Fantastic.

[B]

If I had gone home, I would have been tempted to eat. And because I've used the time with you now I feel good that I've waited all that time fasting.

[A]

Fantastic.

[B]

From this morning, I haven't had anything.

[A]

Is there Any reason why you do fasting?

[B]

It's a spiritual thing as well. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

We did this. A really big meal yesterday as well.

[B]

I know. I think I've still got some of it. Oh. The weirdest thing about you is that it's like I've met you before. It's so strange.

[A]

Funny life, isn't it?

[B]

Yeah. Are you like this with everybody else?

[A]

I'm like every. Every encounter has its own dynamic. I am with you the way I am with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it will never be the same with someone else. You know, it's like a chemical reaction. When two substances come together, something new is formed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it is just what it is. It will be different every time. We create our own things, create our own magic.

[B]

Yeah. It's interesting.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

I'm still the girl I was though now I'm uncle no. Don't want to waste the day.

[B]

I.

[C]

Hate when moments away so I'll sing as loud as a gospel choir I'll paint the town until the rivers run.

[B]

Dry.

[C]

Ooh, I know how to have a good time I'm still the girl I was the child in me still dances on Though now I got my giddy heart. You learn to live with all your scars and yes, I might have put romance aside But I've got so much love in my life O and I'll keep laughing each and every day Oh, I thank God for making me that.

[B]

Way.

[C]

Ooh, I know how to have a good time.