Strangers on a Bench – Episode 58: Gratitude, Painted Nails & The Irish Lottery

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Date: October 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this soulful and candid episode, Tom Rosenthal sits beside an anonymous bench-dweller in a London park, unfolding a life story rich with struggle, resilience, and humor. Their conversation delves into topics like gratitude, family trials, the benefits of walking, the complexities of fatherhood, brushes with the law, and the role of manifestation. The guest’s raw honesty, wit, and reflective nature steer the episode through adversity toward hope, self-discovery, and a few unexpectedly hilarious anecdotes involving makeup and painted nails.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Favorite Day and Working Life

• [00:46] The guest shares that Friday is his favorite day:

  "Payday, isn't it? That's why Friday is always a good day. Everyone works hard. Monday to Friday, get paid Friday and then that's it."

• His vocational journey began with a government YTS (Youth Training Scheme), focusing on skills like retail and mechanics.
• Later, he started plastering with a mate, launching ‘Quality Plasterers’ – a venture that involved early miscalculations and plenty of learning.

2. The Accident, Health & Life Change

• [02:57]–[03:40] The guest recounts a car accident leading to a herniated disk, the end of his work life for several years, and the struggle of recovery:

  "I woke up in the morning, think, oh, my neck stiff... went to work, picked a plasterboard above my head and that went straight back down. That was it. Not worked for a few years now, just on the mend. But it will come back."

• Reflects on how this forced him to slow down, prioritize himself, and become more mindful (“You gotta put you first and then after you, everything else will flow nice. Do you know what I mean? Like a river.” – [04:00–04:11]).

3. Fatherhood, Mistakes & Family Dynamics

• [05:37]–[07:53] The guest is a proud but young grandfather at 46, with four daughters and a grandson.
• Recounts how becoming a dad lit a fire under him to pursue purpose and stability.
• Candid about the chaotic circumstances of his relationships and unplanned fatherhood:

  “None of them were planned. So it's like, oh, I'm pregnant. And then she got pregnant and then it's like, right, it's okay... Then when you've sat down, I thought, we'll have the baby. Then it's like, okay, how can we move forward with this plan?” ([26:26])

• Admits to legal struggles over custody, and the hurtful manipulation that sometimes occurred:

  “And it's like point twist the kids against me and all that kind of merciness... just a lot of horrible, nasty stuff all because of a lot of trauma from her past and stuff.” ([23:01])

• Regretful, but philosophical: “Just when you're younger you just get with anything and anything for the sake of them and that. But you're not actually choosing to be with them, you're just choosing them just for the right. So that's the difference.” ([25:57])

4. Grit, Resilience, and Emotional Growth

• He’s had to process loss, lone parenting, and pain largely on his own:

  "My mum brought us up on her own so she was always working... she was just thinking, oh, he's okay. And then I'm just being a little shit at home, just bloody bringing all the meat around." ([15:32–15:45])

• On his father, whom he confronted after years of estrangement:

  “I needed to go and see him to understand what I needed to understand and then to be able to put it to bed because if I didn't, it'll still be playing on me... But it's a good thing.” ([21:14])

• Candid about the pain he hides:

  "People just would look at me and would think that I don't have an issue in my life. Hidden turmoils... fighting for my children and you wouldn't even know that I was doing it because it just how we were taught to be a man. It was don't show emotions." ([31:17–31:37])

5. Youth, Education, and Social Change

• Disillusioned with the lack of practical education and opportunities for youth today, contrasting it with his own era's youth clubs and social mobility.
• Would redesign education to focus on life skills:

  “I would also say like finances, how to invest your money, how to make your money, make you money, how to set up your own trust...” ([13:10–13:19])

• Notices how his children struggle with face-to-face interaction, preferring digital communication and shying from confrontation.

6. Coping with Stress: Solitude, Walking, and Meditation

• Long walks and eventually meditation helped him cope; he finds clarity and solutions outdoors ([02:44], [28:06]).
• Developed daily gratitude practices and mindfulness.

7. Spirituality & Manifestation

• Now considers himself spiritual (not religious), after loss and time for self-reflection:

  "There's got to be something inside. You call it the universe, the divine, whatever you may call it, whatever religion, Buddhist or whatever. There's that many religions out there. Yeah, I've gone from there and I think, oh, that's it." ([36:13])

• Successfully “manifested” Irish Lottery wins by visualizing numbers:

  “Me three numbers, me four Numbers with five numbers for the Irish lottery... I think I won six grand. Six and a half grand. Yeah. So off a tenner.” ([37:16])

• Recommends starting each morning listing 10 things for which you’re grateful ([44:21]).

8. Comedy & Memorable Moments

• Recalls his daughters painting his nails (“So the painting of my nails, they're doing all these little... gels and little dots... leopard prints... going to work with this on my fingers all day.” – [30:11])
• Banter about school skips, pretending the house “just stinks” to hide weed use ([12:03–12:26]).
• Philosophical and comedic one-liners:

  "Don't let the dick do the talking. If it is just the bag up and until you... it's left with someone that you choose to be with, it's like they're not just the." ([26:41]) "Young, dumb, full of come, aren't you? That's it, you're out with your mates." ([26:55])

9. Reflections, Regrets, and Hopes

• Sees meaning in past suffering:

  “All the trials and tribulations I've gone through and all that horrible nastiness was all meant for a reason and it's made me a better person. Going through it made me stronger minded and more caring and a loving person.” ([41:25])

• Looks to a future of holidays, new experiences, gratitude, contentment, and more time with grandchildren.

10. Closing Thoughts & The Power of Gratitude

• Ends with sharing his daily gratitude list, focusing on self-understanding and hope for others ([44:26–45:41]):

  “I'm grateful that even though I might not be able to see where I'm going or what lies ahead, I have faith that everything I desire is meant for me and will come to me.”

• Closing song (“Counting my reasons to smile”) encapsulates the episode’s spirit of finding pleasure in everyday blessings.

Notable Quotes

• On Perspective & Priorities:

  "The number one priority you gotta do for yourself in life is put you first and then after you, everything else will flow nice. Do you know what I mean? Like a river." ([04:00])

• On Fatherhood:

  "When my daughter was on the way, that's when I need to get... I've got to change my life, step up. And I did." ([06:26])

• On Regret:

  "I needed to go and see him to understand what I needed to understand and then to be able to put it to bed..." ([21:14])

• On Gender Roles & Emotional Health:

  "It was don't show emotions, you deal with on your own, but it would affect me. So then I'll tear to drink and stuff and I get fucking pissed on a Friday..." ([31:31])

• On Manifestation:

  "It's easier to believe than disbelieve, isn't it? You believe you've got to stop." ([39:04])

• Funniest Philosophy:

  "Don't let the dick do the talking." ([26:41])

• On What’s Invisible:

  “All the pain and suffering I’ve had to deal with. People just would look at me and would think that I don't have an issue in my life.” ([31:17])

• On Forgiveness & Closure:

  “Once you understand something, you go, I understand. Still a piece of shit. I'll see you later. Do you know what I mean? But it's a good thing.” ([21:10])

Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• [00:46] — Favorite day of the week, first jobs, and “Quality Plasterers.”
• [03:01–03:40] — The accident, health struggles, and lessons.
• [05:37–07:53] — Fatherhood, becoming a grandfather at 46, and family stories.
• [12:03–12:26] — Hilarious school skipping and ‘house just stinks’ stories.
• [21:10–21:50] — Confronting his absent father for closure.
• [26:41] — “Don’t let the dick do the talking.”
• [30:11] — Painted nails and worksite reactions.
• [37:16–38:33] — Manifesting the Irish Lottery.
• [44:21–45:41] — Morning gratitude ritual, read aloud.

Tone & Style

This episode is raw, unfiltered, often funny, and teeming with Liverpudlian warmth. The guest’s openness invites empathy, while Tom’s gentle curiosity gives space for humor, vulnerability, and wisdom to emerge organically. Quotable lines are delivered with bushy wit and earthy candor.

Summary

Episode 58 is a moving portrait of a stranger’s journey through hardship, transformation, and hope—peppered with laughter, parenting wisdom, spiritual musings, and colorful anecdotes. At its core, the episode is a testament to resilience, the healing power of gratitude, and the infinite stories that strangers are waiting to share, even on the simplest park bench.