Strangers on a Bench

Episode 69: I've Never Felt This Way Before

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Date: January 5, 2026

Episode Overview

In this moving and intimate episode, Tom Rosenthal sits down with a young anonymous woman on a park bench for an open-hearted conversation. What starts as small talk evolves into raw confessions about love, vulnerability, and the complications of a long-distance relationship. The guest discusses her recent admission of a lie to her boyfriend, her struggle with guilt, intense emotions, and the joys and anxieties of loving someone deeply for the first time. The episode explores the necessity of honesty in relationships, the beauty and pain of longing, the mundane yet comforting aspects of life, and how random encounters can create connection and reflection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Encounter and Setting the Scene (00:04–03:00)

• Tom playfully introduces the premise of the podcast and comments on the randomness of two strangers sitting together on a bench.
• They joke about anonymity, locations, and describe physical appearances and personal quirks.
  • Quote [01:19], B: "Rough right now."
• The guest shares about her painted black fingernails and how routines like this fall by the wayside due to work and life changes:
  • Quote [01:43], B: "Work, life."
• They riff on having 'too many pies' in life and narrowing down priorities:
  • Quote [02:11], B: "Sometimes I think if you've got your thumb in too many pies, you... You don't know what one you've eaten."

2. Running, Routine, and Mental Health (03:00–04:14)

• The guest explains that she’d just finished her longest run, used as a way to clear her head.
• Tom draws a connection between life’s unpredictability and moments on benches:
  • Quote [03:11], B: "Talking about it. Yeah. That's what can happen in life."
• Running becomes a metaphor for coping and introspection.

3. The Nature of Anticipation, Love, and Long-Distance (04:14–05:59)

• The conversation shifts as Tom asks about her favorite day of the week. She chooses Thursday, as it signifies the start of seeing her long-distance boyfriend.
  • Quote [04:37], B: "I have a long distance relationship and we see each other on Thursdays to Monday and it’s like the best thing ever on a Thursday now."
• They discuss the pleasurable pain of anticipation when missing someone and the clarity and intensity distance brings in a relationship:
  • Quote [05:14], B: "Distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder and...everything you do is like really clear and separated from the other person."

4. Confession, Guilt, and Honesty in Relationships (06:00–12:00)

• The guest confesses to having recently lied to her boyfriend about a brief past encounter that happened before they were officially together.
  • Quote [07:39], B: “No, I lied.”
  • Quote [08:08], B: "I just up. I lied. I was a liar."
• She explains the lie was out of fear of being seen differently, not wanting him to leave, and feeling very guilty afterward.
• Tom offers reassurance and empathy, normalizing her reaction as a response to powerful emotions:
  • Quote [09:15], A: "Intense romantic stuff makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do."
• The guest details how she came clean over a video call, and her boyfriend’s emotional, angry reaction.
  • Quote [10:04], B: "I couldn't even hold myself together, if I'm honest. And he was fuming and we haven't spoke since."

5. Reflection on Love, Vulnerability, and Determination (13:49–20:33)

• She describes how this is her first time experiencing such deep love and obsession.
  • Quote [13:13], B: "I've never been like this about anyone before, ever."
• Tom asks about the moment she knew her feelings were special, leading to a story of their first meeting and the rituals that cemented their bond.
• She faces uncertainty after the confession, but is determined to fight for the relationship.
  • Quote [21:59], B: "I normally get what I want. But this isn't the same sort of thing, is it? Because this is someone else's feelings."

6. Love’s Narrative: The Meeting, Music, and A Sense of Home (14:03–19:46, 26:08–29:49)

• The couple’s meet-cute: puppy yoga, drinks in a pub, breakfast at Canary Wharf, and emotional airport goodbyes.
  • Quote [14:29], B: “Can I sit here? … He turned it on just for a pickup line.”
• Shared music forms a part of their connection, with three "their songs":
  • [28:26, B]: “In third place, Stereophonics... Second one is Rebel Soul by Kawanuka… And then the one for me is Soul Love by David Bowie.”
• Both bonding and longing are closely tethered to music and shared ritual.

7. Family, Daily Life, and Seeking Comfort in the Ordinary (29:54–33:32)

• The conversation lightens with talk about baking, her younger brother, and father’s birthday—simple, loving details about daily life.
  • Quote [31:15], B: “Yeah, he is three years younger than me. How the fuck did you know that?”
• She lists what grounds her: making brownies, joking about blowing up birthday balloons, and balancing family celebrations with emotional turmoil.

8. Physical and Emotional Space—From Parks to Benches to Rooms (25:13–27:53, 33:44–36:42)

• The guest describes her room, filled with black décor and fake plants, noting her resistance to looking after real plants as a sign of limited bandwidth.
• The park—surrounded by ducks and willow trees—acts as a momentary sanctuary.
• She narrates a mischievous memory with her brother in a canoe, illustrating both sibling dynamics and her self-described resilience.

9. Closure, Acceptance, and Moving Forward (36:42–37:51)

• The episode closes as they reflect on their honest conversation, the unknowns that lie ahead, and the catharsis of sharing her story.
  • Quote [37:06], A: “That's the magic of life. We're never going to know.”
  • Quote [37:18], B: "What am I going to do next? ... Immediately go home, shower, hope that my boyfriend messages me. … If he doesn't, then we'll guess who's getting an EasyJet and Ryanair flight out. Me."

10. Musical Closure (37:59–end)

• The episode fades out with an original song, capturing the emotion of the guest’s story, with lyrics echoing the longing, hope, and indeterminacy surrounding love and risk.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I've never felt this way about someone before, so this is why I'm on the fucking run.” – B [08:59]
• “Distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder and...everything you do is really clear and separated from the other person.” – B [05:14]
• “I just up. I lied. I was a liar.” – B [08:08]
• “Crying is good because it means you feel something and it's like, to meet someone you feel passionately about is rare.” – A [16:45]
• "If I were you, I would be tempted just to rock up." – A [17:14]
• "He's literally an angel...he's so fit. I'm gonna cry again." – B [18:16, 18:50]
• “I just love him.” – B [19:04]
• "Sometimes you got to make the, the big moves." – A [17:47]
• “Small things in life are so hard. Like booking in to get your nails done frequently.” – B [33:09]
• "One, get to Ireland, do the business...Two, get one real plant...Three, get your nails sorted." – A [33:10–33:32]

Important Timestamps

• 00:04 – Tom introduces himself and the podcast
• 01:19 – Guest describes herself
• 03:00 – Guest shares about running as a coping mechanism
• 04:14 – Favorite day of the week and anticipation
• 06:00 – Confession about lying in the relationship
• 08:59 – Guest explains the depth of her feelings
• 14:03 – Story of how the couple met
• 18:16 – What makes her boyfriend special
• 25:02 – Discussion about running, Strava, and competitiveness
• 28:26 – Their soundtrack: the couple’s three songs
• 31:15 – Talk about family and her younger brother
• 33:10 – Tom summarizes the three "life tasks"
• 36:42 – Ending thoughts and emotional conclusion
• 37:59 – Music coda reflecting episode’s themes

Tone and Mood

• Candid, unfiltered, deeply emotional, at times humorous and self-deprecating.
• The anonymity fosters confessional openness, offering raw insight into the complexities of love, anxiety, and hope.

For New Listeners

This episode is a poetic, living snapshot of a stranger’s heart—confronting mistakes, holding tight to love, and baring emotional truths. It reveals how even brief, happenstance encounters can create a space for radical honesty and support. Whether you’ve loved deeply, risked vulnerability, or simply needed to unburden yourself on a park bench, this conversation will resonate with its aching humanity and moments of laughter amidst the pain.