Strangers on a Bench – Episode 71: All Plumbers Are Philosophers
Host: Tom Rosenthal
Date: January 19, 2026
Episode Overview
Tom Rosenthal invites an 18-year-old stranger (anonymous, as always) to share a bench and a conversation in a park. The discussion quickly deepens from light icebreakers into weightier themes—personal philosophy, faith, family expectations, self-discovery, and the joys and challenges of growing up in a traditional household while walking a path toward self-understanding. The episode is thoughtful and humane, balancing introspective moments with humor and genuine connection.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Opening: Connection and Ramen Thursdays
- Tom asks about the stranger’s favorite day of the week, revealing an affection for Thursdays rooted in “Ramen Thursdays” with a school friend:
- “Every Thursday we used to get those small packets of ramen and then go home and watch a movie. We used to call them Ramen Thursdays.” (01:09)
- The day retains meaning in college, as it marks the end of the academic week for the guest.
Philosophy, Thoughtfulness, and Sonder
- The guest describes a habit of taking solitary, extended walks to ponder life’s big questions, inspired not by events but by accumulated experiences and introspection.
- “I used to make it [the walk] longer. Yeah, I'd say 15 minutes, but…I used to come to this park.” (02:22)
- Tom notes Nietzsche’s affinity for walking as a catalyst for thinking.
- The philosophy reading leads the guest to embrace sonder—realizing the “complex life of their own” in others—fostering greater empathy.
- “If someone came up to me with a ridiculous idea, but they really believed it, I can never really just throw it away.” (04:36)
Struggles with Belief: Determinism, Faith, and Family
- The guest explains their tug-of-war between determinism (the idea everything is predestined) and free will, especially in the context of faith raised in a Muslim household:
- “Maybe it's just your experiences caused you to say this or think this.” (06:23)
- They express an open, searching stance rather than clinging to a single worldview.
- Tom shares his own views on making meaning in a seemingly nonsensical world:
- “You just have to bring it. I personally favor bringing meaning something rather than picking something up of a shelf that someone else has already prepared.” (08:13)
Family, Mistakes, and Communication
- A poignant segment covers unique family dynamics—a reticent household regarding affection and difficult but well-intentioned parental expectations:
- “[My biggest mistake was] I don’t really say ‘I love you’ to [my parents] that much…But then it’s their first time living as well…It’s their first time on this earth parenting and everything like that.” (11:05)
- The guest struggles with traditional familial ambitions (footballer, doctor, etc.) and his own perceived failures, eventually choosing a plumbing course in college, following in his father’s footsteps.
All Plumbers Are Philosophers
- The episode’s title emerges as Tom observes a trend of philosophical plumbers in his own circle, suggesting perhaps there’s a hidden wisdom in practical trades:
- “Maybe all plumbers are philosophers. You never know.” (15:10)
Religion and Questioning Faith
- The guest describes a nuanced relationship with their inherited religion—honoring family tradition but feeling increasingly disconnected personally:
- “I wouldn’t say I am [a Muslim] now. It’s just I am by label… I don’t think I have the strength to do that, to be entirely honest. I don’t think I have the courage to, you know, say, hey, this is nice. I have my own thoughts.” (22:09-22:19)
- They admire certain aspects of Islam, especially teachings about intention, while openly struggling with paradoxes about free will and predestination.
Friendships & Wanting New Perspectives
- The guest notes that 90% of his friends are Muslim and expresses a desire for more diverse friendships and experiences (“Where are my fishing friends?” (27:51)).
- Tom underscores the value of meeting people from different backgrounds:
- “There’s nothing more important than trying new stuff, meeting people from different walks of life…” (28:05)
Romantic Firsts
- The conversation turns to romance, first dates, and the joy of experiencing a first kiss:
- “I felt really loose, you know…Let’s say, for example, I was wearing a mountain on my back. I feel like that mountain just got lifted off my back…just really in love. Yeah, it was great.” (32:21-32:32)
- Despite uncertainty, the guest is grateful for the experience and reflects maturely on the impermanence of young love.
Gratitude, Nature, and Being Childlike
- Tom praises the guest’s rare ability to be present without a phone—a habit he encourages other young people to try.
- “Nature is beautiful…they’re always keeping the flow going.” (34:45-35:04)
- On keeping a sense of playfulness and imagination in adulthood, the guest confesses a love for Minecraft and dreams of a simple cabin with friends (and fishing), revealing a deep appreciation for everyday joys.
Dreams, Gifts, and Poignant Gestures
- Talk turns to future ambitions—learning electric guitar, someday having it painted by the romantic interest. In a touching offer, Tom offers to buy the guest a guitar:
- “I’m personally more than happy to buy you an electric guitar. Would you let me buy you one?” (37:08)
- The guest is moved—“Thank you, man. That means a lot to me…” (38:13)—emphasizing the transformative power of kindness and music.
A Room Remembered: Visualization Exercise
- Tom leads a “closing eyes” exercise, inviting the guest to recall a significant room from childhood:
- The guest paints a picture of sneaking to watch The Walking Dead on TV—thrilled, fearful of being caught—a metaphor for low-stakes rebellion and the thrill of independence.
- “It’s early in the morning…blue and black sofas…wooden hexagonal table…I’m checking if my mum and my dad are coming down the stairs because I’m not allowed to watch the show.” (39:23-40:32)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Sonder and Empathy
“Everybody has such a complex life of their own…If someone came up to me with a ridiculous idea, but they really believed it, I can never really just throw it away.” – Stranger (04:36)
- On Meaning and Existence
“You just have to bring [meaning to life]. I personally favor bringing meaning something rather than picking something up of a shelf that someone else has already prepared.” – Tom (08:13)
- On Family and Self-Worth
“It feels like I’ve let my family down. And so I decided, you know what? Time to make something myself. I’m going to go to the Marines.” – Stranger (14:08)
- On the Philosophy of Plumbing
“Maybe all plumbers are philosophers. You never know.” – Stranger (15:10)
- On Questioning Faith
“It says that in the book that, like, you know, we do have free will, yet everything has already been decided and that God knows everything…I don’t really understand that, to be entirely honest.” – Stranger (24:02)
- On the First Kiss
“Let's say, for example, I was wearing a mountain on my back. I feel like that mountain just got lifted off my back and I felt really loose…really free…” – Stranger (32:21)
- On Nature and Presence
“Nature is beautiful, you know, it’s something like I could never look at and be bored of…they’re always keeping the flow going.” – Stranger (34:45)
- On Generosity and Dreams
“I’m personally more than happy to buy you an electric guitar. Would you let me buy you one?” – Tom (37:08)
- On Early Rebellion
“I’m checking if my mum and my dad are coming down the stairs because I’m not allowed to watch the show. And it’s really thrilling.” – Stranger (40:32)
Timestamps for Significant Sections
- [01:09] – Ramen Thursdays and the significance of routine
- [02:09 - 03:09] – Origins of philosophical thinking during walks
- [04:36] – Influence of sonder and open-mindedness
- [05:32 - 06:38] – Wrestling with determinism, free will, and faith
- [11:05] – Family affection and expressing love
- [14:08] – Aspirations, expectations, and vocational choices
- [15:10] – “All plumbers are philosophers”
- [22:09] – Outgrowing or questioning one’s faith
- [32:21] – The emotional release of a first kiss
- [34:45] – Contemplation and the value of unplugging in nature
- [37:08] – Tom offers to buy the guest a guitar
- [40:32] – Childhood memory of sneaking to watch TV
- [42:00 - 44:34] – Episode winds down with music and reflection
Summary
This thoughtful, winding conversation demonstrates the surprises and depth found in everyday encounters with strangers. The guest’s candid transparency about faith, family, and self-doubt is met with Tom’s warmth, humor, and gentle probing, making for an episode that’s both cathartic and hopeful. The kindness exchanged—whether in the form of advice, empathy, or the actual promise of an electric guitar—underscores the podcast’s ethos: even the most unassuming strangers on a bench have wisdom, yearning, and stories worth hearing.
For listeners new and old, this episode is a testament to the profound connections possible between strangers, and the philosophy found in everyday life—sometimes, even in plumbing.
