Strangers on a Bench | Episode 74: “Tuesday is Green”

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Date: February 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this deeply moving episode, Tom Rosenthal sits with an anonymous bench-dweller whose story traverses childhood trauma, addiction, recovery, remarkable resilience, and the complex beauty of healing. The episode’s title, “Tuesday is Green,” is inspired by the guest’s synesthetic perception of days of the week, leading to a wide-ranging, heartfelt conversation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Synesthesia and the Colors of Life

• Opening Lightness: Tom begins by asking the guest about their favorite day of the week. The guest answers “Tuesday,” describing it as “green.”
• Explanation: The guest reveals they have synesthesia, a condition where senses blend together, allowing her to perceive days, names, and numbers as colors.
  • Notable quote [01:43]:

    “Synesthesia is where the senses bleed into each other. Like, I see days and names and numbers, letters in color. So I thought everybody did, but they don’t.” — Guest

• Discovery: She only discovered she had synesthesia about five years ago (around middle age) after seeing a mention online.

2. Childhood, Family Trauma & Running Away

• Family Dynamics: Raised in an Irish family in Wales, the guest’s childhood was marked by alcohol-fueled dysfunction, emotional absence, and violence.
  • Pattern:

    “…They’d all start off very happy and loving each other, and then they’d all start singing…and then they’d start crying. And then they’d start fighting.” [12:01]

• Running Away: At age 14, she ran away from home to London, using cleverness and resourcefulness to survive.
  • Hostel Life:

    “I left Wales and came to London…got a job in a hotel as a chambermaid…I dyed my hair black and blonde, wore fake tan…” [18:00–21:00]

  • Being Found:

    “My brother was a police inspector…he found out that I was working at this hotel…” [24:53]

• BBC Film:
  • Her father, searching for her, responded to a newspaper ad and ended up facilitating the making of a BBC film about her as a runaway.
  • Recounting Returning Home:

    “My mother answered the door and she just said, ‘Oh, hello, darling.’ She just put her arms around me…And they tried to be a lot more understanding after that, but then it quickly reverted back to the way it was.” [27:59]

3. Addiction, Sobriety, and Healing

• Introduction to Alcohol:
  Raised in a drinking culture, she started sneaking drinks in pre-teen years.
• Life-Changing Encounters:
  • Met a sober group at a blues festival in Portland, Oregon, leading her to realize she wanted to live sober:

    “They showed me that you could actually not drink and still really enjoy life. So that massively changed my life.” [05:21]

• Alcoholics Anonymous:
  • Memorable Moment: The first AA meeting she attended was a coincidence—her taxi driver in San Francisco was herself in recovery and took her to a women’s meeting:

    “I got into the taxi and…it was a woman driver…she said, ‘Oh, I’ve been sober for eight years, you’re my last pair. I’m going to a meeting straight after this. Do you want to come to that one?’” [08:00]

  • On Meetings:

    “It’s only one day at a time. I know I’m not going to drink today, but I don’t know if I’ll drink tomorrow or not.” [09:50]

  • Relapse & Resilience:
    She has now been sober for twenty years, after relapses:

    “First time I got sober was in 1990...then I relapsed for 10 years but now I’ve been sober for 20.” [33:19]

• Impact of Addiction:
  • On relationship with family, trauma, self-worth, and mental health.
  • Advice:

    “If anybody’s listening that’s got any problems with addiction, you don’t pick up the first one and then you can’t get drunk. You have to think it through to the end.” [10:50]

4. Memory, Loss, and Reconciliation

• Mother’s Death:
  • Her mother died suddenly at 53. Family and self-blame were major elements:

    “I thought I’d killed her...My whole family agreed with that.” [29:15]

  • Didn’t realize until her early thirties, with help from a spiritual healer, that the blame was unfounded.
• Father’s Death & Family Compassion:
  • Father was a complex, often violent figure. The guest did not have a chance to reconcile with him before his death, sharing the pain of generational trauma and addiction.
• Ongoing Healing:
  • Engaged in therapy and recovery, working through CPTSD (complex PTSD) from childhood and adult traumas.

    “I’m just starting trauma therapy now to deal with all that stuff from back then. I’m going to be a pensioner in August, and that now is when I’m ready to do the trauma work.” [23:18]

5. Love, Relationships, and Survival

• Relationships:
  • Suffered domestic violence and long-term stalking from a partner who abused her and continued to turn up across the years.
  • On love:

    “I don’t think I’ve ever really loved anybody. There’s a couple of people in my life I’ve ever really loved … my mother, my daughter, and my auntie.” [42:58]

  • On men:

    “Most of my trauma came from men…For me growing up, men were violent, men were scary, they were loud. I do have some very, very good male friends. As long as they stay friends.” [41:57]

• Motherhood:
  • Her relationship with her own daughter is one of the great positives in her life:

    “My daughter’s an incredible woman now. She’s 40…quite incredible.” [15:14]

6. Travel, Identity, and Healing Work

• Restlessness:
  • Spent years in various places: London, Israel (on a kibbutz), Egypt, Ibiza. A pattern of running away, but also seeking healing.

    “I did a lot of geographicals in my life. I went to a lot of places.” [40:48]

• Work in Healing:
  • Now involved in sound healing, especially gong baths.

    “Sound is very, very powerful. It’s a powerful healer… You just lie down, it’s like a meditation really.” [50:30]

• Universal Insights:
  • Expresses a hope for collective healing and recognizes interconnectedness.

    “We’re all one. Really…Let’s start helping each other instead of hating each other.” [51:48]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Synesthesia:

  “Tuesday’s just a green day.” — Guest [00:57]
  “I thought everybody did, but they don’t.” — Guest [01:46]

• On Addiction & Sobriety:

  “Addiction is a mental illness, really. And the way that we think is very different from the way that people who don’t have addiction think. And when you sit in a room with 60 other people and they all say things that they think and feel, and you think, oh my God. I think that, I feel…You’re not alone.” — Guest [09:13] “You don’t pick up the first one and then you can’t get drunk. You have to think it through to the end.” — Guest [10:50]

• On Childhood & Trauma:

  “When you’re little, you…just see people behave in that way and you just thought that’s how adults behave.” — Guest [13:17]

• On Resilience & Healing:

  “What I find amazing. I’m just starting to like myself.… I never got bitter… I am alright. I am an alright person. And recovery is helping for that, you know?” — Guest [46:18]

• On Universal Family and Healing:

  “We’re all one. Really…Let’s start helping each other instead of hating each other.” — Guest [51:48]

Timeline: Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment & Topic | |--------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:51–01:44 | Synesthesia and colored days of the week | | 05:20–08:00 | Life-changing encounter at the Portland blues festival | | 08:00–09:13 | First AA meeting in San Francisco, fate and serendipity | | 11:25–14:24 | Early alcohol use, dysfunctional family patterns | | 17:16–22:54 | Running away to London at 14, surviving as a teen runaway | | 24:05–28:48 | BBC film, returning home, cycle of departure and return | | 29:15–31:04 | Mother's death, burden of guilt, reframing through healing | | 38:02–40:23 | Reflections on the state of the world, collective rock bottom | | 41:13–46:18 | On relationships, living alone, trauma from men, self-worth | | 50:22–52:06 | Sound healing, gong baths, communal recovery | | 52:25–52:34 | Final lightness: The next step is simply walking home |

Episode’s Original Language & Tone

The conversation is honest, at times raw, but laced with a wry humor and poetic sensitivity. The guest’s candidness about trauma and survival is balanced by moments of warmth, self-reflection, and even playfulness (“Tuesday is green,” “I’m not a bank robber!”).

Conclusion: Takeaways & Closing Sentiments

• Personal & Collective Healing: The guest’s journey is one of facing hardship head-on, seeking and finding help, and gradually unraveling the layers of pain, shame, and self-blame.
• Human Connection: The episode is ultimately about the value of sharing, listening, and the small, everyday encounters that can change a life.
• Hopeful Outlook: “What would you like the rest of your life to look like?” Tom asks toward the end. The answer is simple yet profound: “Calm…living and healing and seeing the world heal.” [47:10]
• Parting Words:

  “Tuesday is green. Red flower cardoon. Sa. On a paradise if we could only see its color if we could only shine.” — Guest [52:56]

This episode is a testament to the pains people carry quietly, the power of chance meetings, and the human drive toward healing no matter how much one has endured.