Strangers on a Bench

Episode 79: Cormorants and Lewis Hamilton

Host: Tom Rosenthal
Guest: Anonymous (B)
Date: March 16, 2026

Episode Overview

In this intimate and moving episode, Tom Rosenthal strikes up a conversation on a seaside bench with an anonymous 63-year-old man (B), a stage and TV actor and voiceover artist. They delve into themes of finding one’s path, the profound influence of a parent, love late in life, heartbreak, the lingering mark of family tragedy, the joys of small-town connections—and, unexpectedly, the appeal of both cormorants and Lewis Hamilton. B’s openness, wit, and unfiltered storytelling make for a frank exploration of hope, loss, aging, ambition, regrets, and the enduring quest for connection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Childhood, School, and the Rescue of Theatre

• Days of the Week as Symbols:
  • B loves Friday, calling it “like Christmas Eve,” full of anticipation (00:52).
  • Sunday, once dreaded as a child for heralding school, is now appreciated.
• Difficulties at School:
  • Disengagement: “I wasn’t very good at it. I wasn’t very good at learning. I wasn’t very good at concentrating.” (01:25, B)
  • Found traditional education unfitting; cites a wish for more arts-based schooling.
• Mother’s Intervention:
  • Mother forces B to attend youth theatre, initially against his will, bartering it with football tickets (03:43–04:59).
  • Mother’s rare vision and persistence praised: “Good old Mum, mate. Absolutely.” (02:47, B)
• Discovering a New World:
  • Theatre people described as “extraordinary” and liberating (05:15, B).
  • Youth theatre leads to close friendships, backstage work, and eventually drama school (05:44–06:10).
• Impact of Mother’s Choice:
  • B: “Amazing, really, that she did that for me.” (06:10)
• Reflecting on Parental Roles:
  • Mum as visionary, Dad as solid support—“he hadn’t got the vision like Mum had” (07:53).
• Brothers and Siblings:
  • Mother’s intervention unique to B, who “needed a bit of a base” (08:19).
  • B was a “tear away” as a youth; theatre offered stability and direction.

Lean Years, Place, and the Power of Routine

• How B Coped During Career Lulls:
  • “Read, watch telly, see friends, go back home.” (06:43, B)
• Childhood Sundays:
  • Sunday School described as pointless and disbelieved in—religion likened to Father Christmas, Tooth Fairy (07:08).
• Family Dynamics:
  • Sundays full of family, “Mum’s roast…always fabulous” (07:40).
• Father’s Role:
  • Present but without the same guiding spark as Mother.

The Current – Place, Personality, and Letting Go

• Bench Life & Local Community:
  • B’s bench is a social anchor: “That’s one of the beauties of this—you get to know folk.” (11:08)
  • Friendship with Greg, who takes photos of locals.
• Ageing and Ego:
  • B becomes less self-conscious about looks: “Old, wrinkly and old and grey whiskers as opposed to black whiskers. But yeah, fine.” (11:42)
  • Letting go of ego: “Quite late...Being an actor, you’re kind of like, you have to keep your head in the ego game...I’m only just beginning to feel like I’m dropping my ego.” (11:52–12:03)
• Personal Growth:
  • Aspiring to be “a listener, more of a lover.” (12:17)
• Love Late in Life:
  • Meets Virginia (French), describes the “greatest kiss” he’s ever had at 63:
    • “The way she kissed me just knocked me for six.” (13:10)
    • “You might have to wait till 63 to get the best kiss of your life.” (13:48)

Modern Dating and Intimacy

• App Dating:
  • Met Virginia via Hinge, feeling sheepish about online dating (14:12).
  • Profile strategy: “Just put loads of photographs...No selfies...The dog is cute.” (14:38–15:23)
• Relationship Uncertainty:
  • Enjoyment mixed with uncertainty—Virginia has said she will visit but sometimes doesn’t: “There is a little bit of mystery with her.” (16:59)
  • “She likes a drink. Quite a lot of drinks.” (17:15)

Fame, Theatre, and Awards

• Recognition:
  • Sometimes recognized in public—“Quite aggressive...Did I see you in Crime Watch?” (18:01)
• Stage Work:
  • Played Timon in The Lion King, did pantomime and backstage work.
• Awards:
  • In shows nominated for awards: “Let me get my awards in…never held a trophy aloft and gone, ‘Thank you, Mum.’ That’s what it would have been...” (18:25–19:10)

Health and Facing Mortality

• Health Issues Disclosed:
  • Living with prostate cancer for a decade. Awaiting biopsy results the coming week, which could be life-changing (33:02–33:44).
  • B remains positive: “I think I’ll be all right.” (33:39)
• Reflections on Possible Mortality:
  • If given less time: “I’d get involved with more things. I’d see my friends more, I’d travel more…I’d be quite a lot more active, I think.” (34:03)
• Song Excerpt / Closing Thought (42:30):
  • B (singing): “Won some awards, raised some good kids and I’ve just had the world’s best kiss, and I would do it all again…” (41:20)

Loss, Regret, and Family

• Impact of Divorce:
  • Profound distress after separation from the mother of his children—“My world caved in.” (23:55)
  • Regrets showing “too much” grief to his kids during the split: “My daughter said, I wish you hadn’t shared so much with me…I did turn to you…sometimes I was so upset that I couldn’t not be upset.” (26:02)
  • Kids offered advice to protect his well-being (“Don’t pick up the phone to her anymore…She hurts you.” (27:25)
• Family Tragedy:
  • Lost one brother to suicide, another struggled with deep unhappiness.
  • Bond formed through a simple gesture—recollecting a wave goodbye: “I thought, damn, I should have listened to him.” (36:23)
  • On his brother’s suicide: “The biggest thing was that I wasn’t there for him…I wasn’t close enough to him for him to reach out.” (38:58)

Reflections, Nature, and Small Wonders

• Natural World:
  • Finds calm and solace watching sailing boats, paddle boarders, and cormorants (09:48).
• Surprising Moments:
  • Once spotted a humpback whale breaching offshore (30:51).
  • Love of cormorants: “I don’t know much about cormorants either. I just know I like them. It went over to one. Yeah, yeah, cormorants and Lewis Hamilton, man, those two. I don’t know anything about them, but I love them.” (30:59)
• Unexpected Bird/Human Connections:
  • Friendship, routine, and serendipity on the bench enhance B's sense of belonging.

Lewis Hamilton

• Fan of Lewis Hamilton over F1 as a whole:
  • “No, I’m not a fan of Formula One. I’m a fan of Lewis Hamilton.” (21:55)
  • On why: admires him for succeeding in a rich, white-dominated sport, and for activism—“He’s standing up for the people on the Gaza Strip...He seems to be a really good man.” (22:21–22:46)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On mother’s influence:

  • “She got it right, because I ended up becoming an actor. So she definitely…Good old Mum, mate.” (02:38–02:47)

• On discovering Youth Theatre:

  • “I really began to enjoy it more than anything else. I began to enjoy the people. It was the theatre people.” (04:59, B)

• On aging and ego:

  • “I like [my face] less and less as I get older…Old and wrinkly and old and grey whiskers…but yeah, fine...I don’t really give a damn.” (11:29–11:43, B)

• On love late in life:

  • “You might have to wait till 63 to get the best kiss of your life.” (13:52, A)
  • “I was totally in love with the mother of my children. She never kissed me like that.” (13:52, B)

• On heartbreak:

  • “It was just kind of heartbreaking, man.” (23:44, B)

• On showing too much pain:

  • “You could have protected me more, or something like that, she said. But in the same breath she said, it’s all right, though, Dad.” (27:05, B)

• On Lewis Hamilton:

  • “I got into Formula One because I liked him.” (22:57, B)

• On suicide and regret:

  • “The biggest thing was that I wasn’t there for him…I wasn’t close enough to him for him to reach out.” (38:58, B)

• On life’s simple wonders:

  • “Cormorants and Lewis Hamilton, man, those two. I don’t know anything about them, but I love them.” (30:59, B)

• Reflective rhyme in song (41:20–42:48):

  • “Won some awards, raised some good kids and I’ve just had the world’s best kiss, and I would do it all again...a thousand times or more.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Mother’s decisive intervention: 03:43–04:59
• Finding belonging in theatre: 05:03–06:10
• Coping during lean years: 06:43
• Family Sundays & religion: 07:06–07:40
• Opening up about age and ego: 11:29–12:03
• Greatest kiss / late-life romance: 13:08–13:52
• Divorce and regrets: 23:29–27:08
• Loss and family tragedy: 35:22–40:07
• Nature’s marvels (whale, cormorants): 30:05–31:30
• Admiration for Lewis Hamilton: 21:54–22:57
• Health and facing mortality: 33:00–34:15
• Song & closing reflections: 41:20–42:48

Summary

This episode offers a rich, heartfelt portrait of a man still questioning, still loving, and still chasing meaning at 63. It’s part celebration of parental intervention, part meditation on the bruises and healing of adulthood—shot through with humor, humility, and an abiding love for the small marvels of life, like the cormorant and the glimmering hope of a really, really good kiss.