EPISODE 84: Called To The Fanny

Summary

Strangers on a Bench – EPISODE 84: Called To The Fanny (April 20, 2026)

Guest: "Ella" (Anonymous Midwife)
Host: Tom Rosenthal

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Overview

In this warmly chaotic and deeply candid episode, Tom Rosenthal sits down with Ella, a vivacious midwife who exudes energy, humor, and honesty about life, work, ADHD, love, and mortality—all from a beloved park bench in London. The conversation delves into the realities of midwifery, mental health, nocturnal habits, the search for connection, and lessons from both heartbreak and healing. Ella’s openness, wit, and memorable stories bring an unusual intimacy and depth to park-bench conversation.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Intro: The Park Bench Opener

(00:04–00:56)

• Tom approaches Ella for an impromptu chat; Ella admits to being a little nervous, but quickly warms up.
• Tom sets the tone: “Talking to a stranger on a bench? It’s just life.”

2. Habits, Day-Offs & Circadian Rhythms

(01:01–02:52)

• Ella describes her ideal day: relaxing in the park, often doing crosswords, loving her job despite its challenges.
• Her sleep schedule is “ruined” by shift work, often waking at 2pm. “Shift work has slightly ruined my circadian rhythm.” (02:34)
• Finds comfort in routines (same bakery, the local community).

3. Personality, ADHD & Being “Too Much”

(03:28–06:00)

• Ella jokes she’s “hard to get to shut the fuck up”; often told (since childhood) she is “too much.”
• Recently diagnosed with ADHD: “Oh, I am too much. But it’s clinical so you can’t be mean.” (04:14)
• Reflects on learning to own her energy: “Out of pettiness, I will continue to be too much and quite annoying.” (04:36)

4. Midwifery: Vocation & Passion

(06:50–14:53)

• Night shifts and sleep struggles intertwine with her work in healthcare.
• The big reveal: Ella is a midwife (not a nurse), her calling compared to the devotion of nuns:

  “I’ve just been, like, called to the fanny, basically. I just know this is what I was put here to do.” (09:03)

• She’s passionate and realistic, describing midwifery as “like being in an abusive relationship” due to systemic issues (understaffing, being replaceable), but also “magical.”
• The first “catch” story: delivering a baby for a couple after their fertility journey—“I like, got home and I don’t think I slept that night. I sat on another park bench, actually, and was just like, oh, my God, I’ve just seen life. I don’t think I will ever get over it.” (13:43)
• Most magical moment:

  “It’s probably when you put the baby on their chest and usually the women sort of dissociate for about five minutes…then they’re different. It’s wild.” (14:16)

5. Relationship, Parenthood & Observing Couples

(17:57–22:45)

• Ella discusses her ambivalence about having children herself:

  “What my job has made me realize is that it so has to be with the right person. The amount of times I watch people in real time realize that they’ve had babies with the wrong person is horrendous.” (18:59)

• Notes that truly connected couples are rare in her experience (estimates only 25% are really in sync).
• Talks about supporting nervous new dads (“If I hype him up now, he’s going to be…I can do this when we get home. She’s not going to be all by herself.”) and the importance of involving partners.

6. Community, Friendship & Intergenerational Bonds

(27:04–29:09)

• Ella is more a “floater”, not having a big group, but strong “A-team” core friends.
• Cherishes friendships with people of all ages, like her 68-year-old crossword pal:

  “There’s a lot to be said for being around people with a lot more life experience than you…” (28:36)

7. Routines & Coping: Crosswords, ADHD, and Mental Health

(29:37–31:11; 42:03–44:38)

• Crosswords are her daily lifeline (“for my soul”); help calm her ADHD:

  “It feels like I’ve got like six, seven TVs on and they’re all on a different channel at full volume at the same time.” (30:36)

• Opens up about experiencing depression, being on antidepressants, and having survived suicidal moments:

  “There would be a bench, but there’d just be a death date on it.” (43:00)
  “There was some close calls when I was a lot younger.” (43:12)

• Explains what kept her alive: imagining her family at her funeral and not wanting to hurt them.

8. Love, Change & Life Abroad

(31:41–34:44)

• Recounts falling in love for the first time in Thailand with a woman she met on a beach:

  “It was so weird. It was like, oh, there you are. It was like we’d met in another life.” (32:28)

• Relationship ended due to different life directions, but remains life-changing:

  “She just really changed how I sort of saw life and what I wanted to get from it…in another universe, we’re happily married and living life.” (34:20)

• On moving for love:

  “It would be such a big leap of faith to move across the world for somebody when I’m really happy here.” (34:57)

9. Benches, Death, & Legacy

(36:14–38:35)

• Hilarious and touching exchanges about bench dedications. Ella wants hers to say something like:

  “She loved babies…If you think about it right now, I’m touching your bum.” (36:57)

• Recurring motif: “Ella still alive” as both bench dedication and life philosophy.
• Reflections on mortality, memory, and the symbolic power of “still being here”.

10. Closing: Joy, Chaos, & Looking Forward

(40:18–51:56)

• Discuss how working with so many people all day necessitates solitude: “If anybody breathes in my direction, I will kick you in the balls.” (26:49)
• Future plans: literary pub walks, crosswords, “wasting and strays” as friends.
• The final wordplay: Ella closes with five random words (“armillary sphere, career, bench, bum”), ending in laughter and a promise from Tom to get her a bench.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On her midwife calling:
  “I’ve just been, like, called to the fanny, basically.” (09:03, Ella)
• On seeing life begin:
  “You watch them look down and realize what they’ve done…then they’re different. It’s wild.” (14:16, Ella)
• On ADHD:
  “It feels like I’ve got like six, seven TVs on and they’re all on a different channel at full volume at the same time.” (30:36, Ella)
• On supporting new dads:
  “If I hype him up now, he’s going to be, ‘I can do this when we get home.’” (21:51, Ella)
• On death & staying alive:
  “There would be a bench, but there’d just be a death date on it.” (43:00, Ella)
• On cherishing love:
  “Some people will never get that. Like, what a crazy thing to happen.” (35:46, Ella)
• On bench dedication:
  “If you think about it right now, I’m touching your bum.” (36:57, Ella)
• On her pub family:
  “All waifs and strays that I’ve picked up along the way.” (28:01, Ella)
• On why she keeps going:
  “So much love was poured into me that I want to, like, share it. Infect other people with it.” (45:13, Ella)
• On life’s arc:
  “We should have done. It’s like this suicide stuff. In the middle…Well, you know, it never happened because I’m really pleased with my mum.” (43:34, Ella)
• Episode’s whimsical summary song:
  (52:24–end) – “Ella isn’t gone. Ella is still alive... For death had no hold on the midwife.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Beginning, setting the scene: 00:04–00:56
• Ella’s daily rhythm & bakery routine: 01:34–02:52
• ADHD and being ‘too much’: 04:14–04:36
• Midwifery as vocation, first catch: 09:03–13:43
• Favorite part of delivery: 14:16
• Reflection on having kids: 17:57–18:59
• How to support nervous dads: 21:51
• On crosswords and mental calm: 29:37–31:11
• Story of falling in love in Thailand: 31:41–34:44
• Bench legacy and mortality: 36:14–38:35
• Revelations about depression and surviving: 43:00–44:38
• Song wrap-up / poetic credits: 52:24–end

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Tone & Style

The conversation is unapologetically chaotic, funny, self-deprecating, and deeply compassionate—mirroring both Ella’s energy and Tom’s gentle, meandering curiosity. The episode weaves between laughter and vulnerability, giving listeners an authentically layered portrait of a stranger who, by closing, feels less strange.

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Final Reflection

Strangers on a Bench: Called To The Fanny isn’t just about the quirks and stories of a midwife. It’s about fighting for joy through chaos, choosing connection, standing on the edge of heartbreak and hope—and always, always being “still alive.”

Transcript

[Interviewer]

Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially, I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a.

[Ella]

Why am I nervous all of a sudden?

[Interviewer]

Because it's, you know, it's this terrifying proposition. Talking to a stranger on a bench? No, because it's just life. And if it's all possible. You ready?

[Ella]

I'm ready.

[Interviewer]

Great. Do you have a favorite day of the week?

[Ella]

Not really, no. I guess Friday, but it kind of is meaningless because I work any day, so I think that's just ingrained, left over from school.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Okay. Let's imagine a Friday.

[Ella]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

You have complete freedom. You don't have to work. How would you spend that day? What, for you represents a really good day spent on Earth on that Friday.

[Ella]

I'm in the very fortunate minority where I love my job. So realistically, probably doing the job. Probably doing the job. I mean, it's a fucking slog. Am I allowed to swear?

[Interviewer]

Just have.

[Ella]

Okay, well, I've done it now.

[Interviewer]

You've done it now, and you are allowed to switch.

[Ella]

Okay. Yeah, it is a slog, but good job. Yeah, right.

[Interviewer]

But you like a slog. Love a slog.

[Ella]

I would feel like it was a day well spent. I think if I was left to my own devices, I probably would like,

[Interviewer]

oh, God, you just sleep in. You just rot away. You wouldn't know what to do.

[Ella]

No, I mean, what I usually do, to be fair, is that this is my favorite place in London.

[Interviewer]

So this particular bar, this particular bench.

[Ella]

Not even this bench.

[Interviewer]

Is it dedicated to you?

[Ella]

It's not, actually, no. But it's. You know, I have made it known that when I die, I will be getting a bench here. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

All right. So you're always on vengeance here.

[Ella]

I am usually in this park doing a crossword on my day off.

[Interviewer]

Fantastic. Okay, well, let's do a day off. So, so far, we know you like doing Crossroads in a park.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

But if you take me from, like, waking up, what time?

[Ella]

Okay, well, so basically, I don't wake up at a normal time. I'm actually waiting to get sleep study done because shift work has slightly ruined my circadian rhythm. So today I Woke up at 2pm and then I was like, shit. The sunshine must seize the day.

[Interviewer]

Oh, you Woke up at 2:00pm yeah,

[Ella]

so I, like, ran out of the house, go to a little bakery and get my coffee. I go to the Same place every day, which is kind of nice. I like it. It's like little community and then.

[Interviewer]

Do they know you?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And then how much do you know about them? First name terms.

[Ella]

First name terms? Yeah. Quite a lot of people have just left.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Ella]

So I haven't met the next person.

[Interviewer]

Was that a sad moment when they left?

[Ella]

It is kind of, yeah. Because it's just I tend to go to the same places always because I like building relationships with people.

[Interviewer]

It is nice to build relationships with people.

[Ella]

Yeah. I don't necessarily plan, I just go on vibes.

[Interviewer]

What are the tactics?

[Ella]

It's hard to get me to shut the fuck up, to be honest. I feel like I'm more just subjecting people to my personality and then eventually they'll lose stamina and think, Jesus. And probably fake that they need the

[Interviewer]

toilet and leave the shop's closed.

[Ella]

Yeah. I wouldn't surprise me.

[Interviewer]

Is that how people actually do react to you?

[Ella]

No, they don't, I don't think to my face. No. But I feel like I probably.

[Interviewer]

What do people not like about you, do you think?

[Ella]

I think people can find me too much.

[Interviewer]

Really?

[Ella]

Yeah. But I feel like.

[Interviewer]

Is that their problem though?

[Ella]

Yeah. Then go find less.

[Interviewer]

Exactly.

[Ella]

It used to bother me a lot as a kid. I was always told I was too much.

[Interviewer]

Oh, really?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Oh, by who? Everybody.

[Ella]

Everybody. But then I got diagnosed with ADHD like a year ago, so it all sort of made sense. And then I was like, oh, I am too much. But it's clinical so you can't be mean.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. What did it do to your kind of general spirit to be like. To be constantly told you were too much? I mean, like, looking at you now, it doesn't look like it's being overly dampened, but maybe it has.

[Ella]

No, I feel like out of pettiness. I will continue to be too much and quite annoying.

[Interviewer]

This is perfect.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

When was the last time even you, you were considered like. I really did go too hot and heavy there.

[Ella]

Probably. Probably earlier today I woke up and I was really excited that the sun was shining and my flatmate at the moment is visiting her parents, so. So she's got somebody subletting who. Luckily this girl is lovely and I really get on with her, but I like bounce into the kitchen when I saw the sun had come out and was like dancing and I think she was a bit shell shocked. Maybe I'm just a small dose person. That's really all you need, just like a line. You just need a little question bump of my.

[Interviewer]

What One question would. If I only could have had one question. What one question should I have asked you?

[Ella]

That is such a confusing question. If you. What question would I want you to ask me?

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

Isn't that your job? Why am I coming up the questions for you?

[Interviewer]

No, but.

[Ella]

But like, what would be a good question?

[Interviewer]

What would be like, the kind of, you know, what would really kind of arrow in.

[Ella]

What is a good question to ask me? I don't know. Because as soon as soon it'll be in one ear and then something else will pop in and so the question is kind of irrelevant.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, Let's go back a bit. So you Woke up at 2pm because you were doing what in the night?

[Ella]

I just couldn't get to sleep until like five.

[Interviewer]

All right, Why?

[Ella]

I don't know, but I've got an appointment with the sleep doctor, so we're going to find out soon.

[Interviewer]

Sounds like they're going to have their work cut out.

[Ella]

Yeah, I think so.

[Interviewer]

What were you doing, like. So let's say at like 4am Just fannying about. But what?

[Ella]

I'm watering the plants, I'm folding laundry. I don't know.

[Interviewer]

So you weren't even trying to go to sleep?

[Ella]

No, I mean, I try and then I'm like, oh, this is just ludicrous. And then I get up and then I'm like, maybe I'll get bored if I sort of potter around. I've sort of accidentally become a bit nocturnal.

[Interviewer]

Is your job in the night?

[Ella]

Sometimes. Oh, right, yeah.

[Interviewer]

Sometimes it's at night, sometimes it's at night. Like a nurse or something?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Oh, you are a nurse.

[Ella]

No, I'm a midwife.

[Interviewer]

You know what?

[Ella]

What? The way you said that was really like. And then you. No follow up. What

[Interviewer]

you're about the three, you know, you're towards the 300 of these. Okay, done a lot of talking to adventures. First midwife represent respect.

[Ella]

Yeah. It's in the trenches. I tell you what.

[Interviewer]

A lot of babies, A lot of babies to come out.

[Ella]

They talking a lot about this decline in birth rates. I don't know what the people of South London have been doing, but it is not apparent. Where I work, people do be. It was clearly just a long rainy summer. And I tell you what, I mean

[Interviewer]

now I have obviously, like a lot of questions. I'm now annoyed that it's. It's like not three hours ago.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

What we're gonna do when it gets dark, I'm gonna have more questions.

[Ella]

To be fair. You can actually roll under the gate over There.

[Interviewer]

Really?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

If you're small, roll under.

[Ella]

Yeah. There's a bit of a gap, like a rat.

[Interviewer]

Well, let's see how we get.

[Ella]

What I wouldn't do is try and climb over those ones by the front because you will fall in a bin and end up getting injured.

[Interviewer]

So at least I'll be with a midwife.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

There's a nice kite. That's pretty. What a nice, pleasant thing to do.

[Ella]

No. And I have a kite that my best friend and I bought specifically to come and fly and then we just did.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. I would say, like, 83% of kites. That's the story. I don't know why you've got to bring it out.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

This is the sign.

[Ella]

We need a good windy day. Maybe that's what I'll do on the weekend. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Okay. Midwife.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

What, are people not focusing enough about midwifery? What are people forgetting about?

[Ella]

To be honest, if I've got captive audience, I don't need them to ask questions. It's so bad. I'm so passionate about it, they don't really need to ask a question.

[Interviewer]

Okay, tell me why you're passionate about it.

[Ella]

I don't know. To me, it's kind of like how I imagine a nun feels when they're, like, called to the abbey. Except I've just been, like, called to the fanny, basically. I just know this is what I was put here to do. Like, this is.

[Interviewer]

When did you know you were put here to do that?

[Ella]

As soon as I found out it was a job. I was always obsessed with, like, pregnancy and birth. I was, like, always used as a kid was, like, staring at pregnant women. I just couldn't get over them. Unreal. I, like, knew how I was born. I remember always asking my friends, like, so, how were you born? And they didn't know. And I was like, what do you mean? You haven't interrogated your mum about this? And so then I found out that there was actually a job and then I was like, well, yeah, jobs are good. And that's what I do then.

[Interviewer]

So that's amazing. And then I think that's honestly like the dream life, when you just come across something you know you want to do and you just go and do it.

[Ella]

I mean, statistically, it's probably going to take 10 years off my life and ruin my lower back, but there's not much to be done about that.

[Interviewer]

Nobody's going to give you so much.

[Ella]

Yeah. I think being a midwife is kind of like being in an abusive relationship.

[Interviewer]

Right.

[Ella]

You're not in it for the money.

[Interviewer]

With the system.

[Ella]

Yeah, with the system, basically, yeah. It's terrible for your health. It's not very good for your mental health.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

It's not there. Looking out for you. You are replaceable. They don't care if you're sick. They don't care if we're meant to be five and there's only three of us and you're now responsible for 18 lives when it should be three. But it's so magical. You can't not do it.

[Interviewer]

I'm gonna do a weird thing. Sorry. Yeah, really, I'm quite cold. But I have this shirt for later because I'm going to a different thing because I'm just going to put it. I'm just going to put it on me. Like a scarf. Is that okay?

[Ella]

The exact same thing.

[Interviewer]

I'm going to look completely ridiculous.

[Ella]

Well, at least we'll look ridiculous together.

[Interviewer]

Like a scarf. On. That's a shirt. I mean, yours is.

[Ella]

Yours is a thermal top. It's actually my mum's old pyjama top.

[Interviewer]

What do you know about your own birth?

[Ella]

Oh, my God. Disaster. My poor mum. It was like 36 hours. Got to 9 cm. Category 1 emergency section that my dad nearly missed because there weren't mobile phones and he was on crutches and had left the hospital to go and do something.

[Interviewer]

Oh. So he hobbled towards seeing the Virginia

[Ella]

and it was like a disaster. My parents didn't think they were gonna be able to get pregnant and so then when they did, the doctors were like, oh, this isn't gonna stick. So they sort of just kept waiting for me to, like, die. And then I lived.

[Interviewer]

And also, you are particularly, like, alive.

[Ella]

I am.

[Interviewer]

You're, like, full of beans, you know, Then not only that, then you. You're here, like, delivering life all the time.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Life delivers life just relentlessly.

[Ella]

Gotta pay it forward. This is really my ideal day out, to be honest. So somebody just come and talk to me about my job.

[Interviewer]

This is it. Let's live your dream.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Okay, let's riff through some midwife questions. One for you, the most magical one. One that stands out, if I had to say, like, if one that jumps

[Ella]

out is like, the one last one is like, you've got to do 40 to qualify 40 catches. They have to be spontaneous vaginal delivery. So.

[Interviewer]

No, no catches.

[Ella]

Yeah, they're cool.

[Interviewer]

Is that a technical term?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

How often is it an actual catch?

[Ella]

Not often, because you can't count Caesareans, you can't count Forceps. You can't count the suction cup. And as it's becoming more medicalized, which is a whole other issue, it's becoming rarer and rarer and a lot harder for student midwives to get their catches in.

[Interviewer]

So you've got 40 catches?

[Ella]

Yeah, yeah. My first one.

[Interviewer]

Tell me about the first one.

[Ella]

Magical. It was. Well, I know the exact date, actually.

[Interviewer]

Say it.

[Ella]

I got. Was the day after Valentine's Day in 2022. And it was a really cool gay couple, and they had had students the whole way along their fertility journey and everybody helping them conceive. It had been their first time doing the procedure. And then they got to me and they found out this will be my first delivery. So they were so excited for me.

[Interviewer]

Oh, wonderful.

[Ella]

And it was. Yeah, it was just magical. And I, like, got home and I don't think I slept that night. I sat on another park bench, actually, and was just like, oh, my God, I've just seen life. I don't think I will ever get over it. It's like this bump that you're feeling and their arms and legs are, like, kicking you off. And, like, you know, you're doing these examinations. You could feel if they've got hair. And then so suddenly there's like a whole human being. I'll just never get over it.

[Interviewer]

What is the bit of it that really gets you, or is it just the whole thing?

[Ella]

I think it's probably when you put the baby on their chest and usually the women sort of dissociate for about five minutes. And you watch them look down and realize what. What they've done. And they're looking at you like, did that just happen? And I'm like, well, you did it. I think that's my favorite bit. Because you. Yeah, it's like you. It's like you watch them leave to another dimension for a little bit, and then you watch them come back and then they're different. It's wild.

[Interviewer]

I remember that time when someone said to my. The mother of my children, like, you've done it. You did that. And that. Yes. Actually described that so beautifully, that dissociation moment.

[Ella]

Yeah. It's like you watch two people be born. Yeah, almost.

[Interviewer]

That's beautiful. What's the weirdest thing that someone shouted out to you? What I remember. So my second child was. Was a home birth.

[Ella]

I love a home birth.

[Interviewer]

All I knew about the midwife was that she really liked her car. Oh, right. She actually was really late. She basically missed everything.

[Ella]

Nice.

[Interviewer]

But I remember her just trying to park the car. And we're like, as you did take ages parking.

[Ella]

Somebody's gonna ding it.

[Interviewer]

Because, like. Cause I was like. But I think because that second child, it was just. No one really gave a shit. It was like, whatever, it's coming up.

[Ella]

Oh, it's coming. It's gonna be fine.

[Interviewer]

So, cas, anyway, you get to see your partner in a state of like, just otherworldliness.

[Ella]

Right.

[Interviewer]

And I always remember the second child was born about 10 o' clock at night. I asked my partner, like, what time do you think it is after she had given birth? And she said, I don't know. I thought it was about like 5 in the morning and it was like 10 at night. She was like. She was completely up. She was entered into another dimension. But in that Dimens mentioned, what comes out of people is wild. Is there anything that swings to mind?

[Ella]

I mean, I think home birth is different because there's less drugs. I definitely. There is gas and air. I've had women really, like, hit the gas and air hard.

[Interviewer]

Too hard.

[Ella]

I had one woman who, like, she was freaking out and I was like, babes, have a bit of this. You pay your taxes, it'll do. You just try it all.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

And she went absolutely mental and tried to get her husband into bed with her. And I was like, honey, this is why you're in this situation. She was like, baby, come here. She was like, taking her. And I was like, no, this is not the time.

[Interviewer]

But don't they say what happens when you kiss and stuff? It releases certain things.

[Ella]

Oxytocin.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. And that can help or something.

[Ella]

Yeah. I think usually that probably doesn't happen when there's, like, midwives in the room.

[Interviewer]

Oh, okay.

[Ella]

You know, I'm happy to just step into another room if you need to make that happen.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. I could already tell you, like, you clearly are just. I just know you're brilliant at your job.

[Ella]

Thank you. I am.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. You can just tell. I just, like, I'm crap.

[Ella]

Everything else.

[Interviewer]

I can just tell, like, I'm good at my job. I can tell because it's actually awesome. Like, that person that's there for you at that time is so crucial. Like, I would be so pleased if I got you.

[Ella]

Thank you.

[Interviewer]

Don't you be like, oh, wow, I've just got really lucky there. Do you have any children?

[Ella]

No. No.

[Interviewer]

What does this all mean for you and having children?

[Ella]

I don't.

[Interviewer]

Who's gonna be your midwife?

[Ella]

I don't know. My mates.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, of course they're your mates. Of course. But how do you feel? So you're fascinated by birth, but you're not your own?

[Ella]

No, I've always had a lot of children in my life. I, I think, started babysitting when I was like, 13 and so have looked after most of the children on my street and watched them grow from, like.

[Interviewer]

Most of them. On your street?

[Ella]

Yeah. My parents still live in the house that I grew up in, and so I've watched them all go from little babies to starting school to learning how to ride a bike and tie your shoes and try first instrument and all that. So I feel like you're a mother

[Interviewer]

to a whole street. Is that what you're saying?

[Ella]

Basically, yeah. I've always had loads of children in my life and I'm a big sister as well.

[Interviewer]

But that doesn't really answer the question, though.

[Ella]

What was the question?

[Interviewer]

You're not particularly interested in your own. Why are you? Not particularly.

[Ella]

I would love it. But I think what my job has made me realize is that it so has to be with the right person. The amount of times I watch people in real time realize that they've had babies with the wrong person is horrendous.

[Interviewer]

Really?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

There and then, like. What do you mean? Like, you give an example.

[Ella]

Just. I mean, I don't want to dog on the men because.

[Interviewer]

Well, you can if you want.

[Ella]

I feel like birth can be as if not more traumatic partners, because when you're the birthing person, you're the one going through it. You're so focused on what's happening, the end result. You're so in the moment of what's happening.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

But for your partner who's watching the person they love in immense pain and there's absolutely nothing they can do to help, really, or make it better or make it go away.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

You must feel so powerless. It must just be awful. But so many people. I think it's. There are other external factors that feel like, you know, I'm ready. It doesn't really matter if it's the right person. I just want the kid. But it's. It's rare and it's transformational. When you see a couple that. It's people that are really connected. Often they've been together a long time first, they just know each other and they're there. And it's not a chore or an effort to be there for each other. And they're really a team, which is so rare.

[Interviewer]

Really.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Give me a percentage. Like, what are we talking?

[Ella]

Maybe like 25% of the time.

[Interviewer]

One in four. Not a lot.

[Ella]

Well, sometimes I just think of, you're going to be an absolute disaster. I mean, all you're doing is complaining that you're tired and hungry and you don't want to do this. You know, the woman. Yeah. There are times where I've. I don't want to know. I'm really conscious that a lot of. And I'm stereotyping with heterosexual couples here, but a lot of men will leave a maternity ward feeling a bit dogged on and their confidence is a bit knocked because we don't have a lot of time or sympathy for them and their shit, basically. And boys are really sensitive. If I'm really dismissive, they lose their cotton. And that can be really make or break. So, like, I can remember once. It winds me up, I had this dad press the buzzer and, you know, I've got like, one woman trying to bleed out on me, like, all at one baby's hypoglycemia, all this going on. And he's like, can you show me how to change the nappy? And in my head I was like, I am going to cry. This isn't a surprise. You've had nine months. What do you mean you don't know how to change a nappy? There are pictures on the fucking Pampers box. What are you talking about? And then I sat there and I was like, okay. To me, this is really obvious and so stupid. To him, it's his first time changing his first baby's nappy and he was scared to even pick up the baby. If I hype him up now, he's going to be, I can do this when we get home. She's not going to be all by herself. So sometimes you have to, like, as much as you want to just, like, slap them, you need to be like, no, we've got to hype them up. Because if they leave the hospital and they think, I know how to support my wife, I know how to, like, help her express breast milk, I know how to change her pads, I know how to burp this baby properly. And they feel like they can care for the baby independently, then I reckon they'll have a better chance.

[Interviewer]

Burp takes a lot of energy from you.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

That's why I wake up at, like, rouse yourself to make sure the men are happy as well as everyone else.

[Ella]

Yeah. I think they tend to remember more of it than the women do. For the women, most of it is just a blur.

[Interviewer]

His kite guy. Where is the kite, though? It's over there.

[Ella]

It's it's in a crumpled heap. Oh, go on, mate.

[Interviewer]

Oh, he looks quite sweet.

[Ella]

I reckon he'd have better luck up there.

[Interviewer]

Should go tell him.

[Ella]

Yeah, let me go. Man's play and hunting kites.

[Interviewer]

Oh, it's really. It's really nice. He's got very painty trousers as well. He's been painting.

[Ella]

He's a snazzy dude.

[Interviewer]

You know, maybe that's the right one for you.

[Ella]

Maybe

[Interviewer]

this is the moment go write

[Ella]

my number on his kite.

[Interviewer]

At the moment you could. It's not going anywhere. Maybe the first number ever written on a kite in a kind of romantic sense.

[Ella]

I don't think people. Have you been fly kites to get girls?

[Interviewer]

I don't know.

[Ella]

It doesn't scream fanny magnet but who knows.

[Interviewer]

I can't imagine you talking to. I'm not trying to. You know obviously I'm here. I'm trying to assess who you are really like deep down like I just can't really picture you talking to people now. Like just generally like you with a friend. Can't picture it.

[Ella]

Don't have any. No, I'm joking.

[Interviewer]

No, I'm sure you got loads. I'm just trying. I just can't really imagine this is

[Ella]

what I'm like with my.

[Interviewer]

It's hard to. It's hard to. Hard to picture. I can totally see you in the. I can't picture you with friends. I can see you.

[Ella]

My God.

[Interviewer]

No, no, I can. But what are you. What kind of. Who do you attract? Like friend wise?

[Ella]

I think they're great. I don't know. I don't really have a big group of friends. Yeah, I was always a bit more of a floater.

[Interviewer]

Are you a kind of a. What I call a heavy. A team friend.

[Ella]

What does that mean?

[Interviewer]

So the system roughly goes, you know, if you. There's this anthropological thing you can know 100. Like we can only really know 150 people. Like that's what our brains are capable of Now I like to break it down into A, B C D. Okay, friends. So D is like just people you might just see, you know, kind of very casually like colleagues or people at parties who you could have seen a couple times. You vaguely know their name but nothing else. Yeah C, you like them but you wouldn't have a kind of one on one thing with them but they're like friendly enough. B team people are ones you would have a drink with them alone, meal or walk, whatever. Yeah but apt people are your kind of like crisis ones. Like ones you're Kind of telling or you're like confiding in a kind of consistent. Why did he do that?

[Ella]

What was that about?

[Interviewer]

Don't know. Maybe he. I think he's just trying to. Just trying to get your attention.

[Ella]

I've lost my vape. Hang on, hang on. Oh, no, I found it. It was in my pocket.

[Interviewer]

So fine. It's all great. You know what? I realized this is like actually talking to you because I woke up really early this morning. It's quite a rare thing to talk to someone who essentially just woken up. It's like talking to someone on the other side of the world or something. Yeah, it's like you're in Australia.

[Ella]

I do feel like I'm jet lagged. I quite like the night time though. I like feeling like I've got the world to myself.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, well, obviously that's what you like, so maybe you just like a bit of peace.

[Ella]

I think that because my job is so sociable, especially at the moment I'm on postnatal ward. So I have. On a day where we're not. I mean we're always understaffed. On a day where we're not like badly understaffed. I'll have like six or seven families that I come onto and then some of them will be discharged and I'll get new ones throughout the day. So I could have like 10, 15 families that I like, I'm looking after for 13 hours that I need to trust my me and a lot.

[Interviewer]

That's a lot. Of course you need. Of course.

[Ella]

I get home and I'm like, if anybody breathes in my direction, I will kick you in the balls.

[Interviewer]

Of course you need your plant time and your folding. Do you say folding?

[Ella]

I mean fold things, then you're fine.

[Interviewer]

Back to friends. Sorry. Because I said so you have.

[Ella]

Oh, yeah.

[Interviewer]

So now I've told you about my formation scenario, does that make sense? You've got. So you've got some really like core ones, but not that many proofs.

[Ella]

Yeah, but they don't all necessarily know each other. I have like my one best friend who I've known for. I think It'll be our 16 year anniversary this year.

[Interviewer]

Lovely.

[Ella]

I see him pretty much every day. We walk every evening.

[Interviewer]

That's nice. Do you walk the same place to place to place. You just walk around.

[Ella]

We have like our favorite little spots. And then we have our like pub that we go to that we call a local. It's like halfway between our houses and that's like a pub, all regular. So like if I Walk in by myself at any time during the day, I'll know half the people in there.

[Interviewer]

That's lovely.

[Ella]

So like, I wouldn't say I have like a loads of friends or like a big group of friends. I just other waste and strays that I've picked up along the way.

[Interviewer]

That's lovely.

[Ella]

Yeah, but it's nice like all ages. One of my best mates is like just turned 68.

[Interviewer]

Fantastic.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

May I just commend you? I think it's like a wonderful thing to have friends of all ages. I think it's so important and very rare but it should be done way more. But Talking about the 68 year old, how we became friends, why it's important,

[Ella]

go, well, he's also a regular at the pub. My best friend and I met him and then we cryptic crosswords and he does cryptic crosswords. And so then we started doing cryptic crosswords together.

[Interviewer]

So sweet.

[Ella]

And then before we knew it, we were just really good friends. But I think it's so important because a lot of other cultures really have the intergenerational living down and they look after their old people and they live with their aged parents. I think in the UK we have a bit more of a stick em in a home culture. But I think there's a lot to be said for being around people with a lot more life experience than you and sort of one removed from your parents also.

[Interviewer]

Yes. So I couldn't agree with you more.

[Ella]

Yeah. Sometimes he'll be like, that's not worth worrying about. And then I'll be like, I guess you would know because you've been here a bit longer than I have and for some reason if my mum or dad said it, I'd be like, you don't understand. But yeah.

[Interviewer]

Can you talk to me about crosswords?

[Ella]

Yeah, I love crosswords.

[Interviewer]

How does one get into it? What's the gateway?

[Ella]

The gateway drug for me was the metro because it's free, like all the best drugs. Yes, exactly. And then I started doing the quick crossword and then my best friend was like, that's embarrassing. Do the cryptic like a grown up. My dad's always done them so he can help. I don't know, it's just a bit of a cult. Like once you get in.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Do you have to do it every day?

[Ella]

Yeah, for my soul.

[Interviewer]

Whoa.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Do you ever not complete it?

[Ella]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[Interviewer]

Oh, okay.

[Ella]

I'm not brilliant at all. I need to do something for my brain.

[Interviewer]

Okay. What will happen to your brain otherwise?

[Ella]

The voices just get Too much.

[Interviewer]

Do they? Do they? What is happening in there?

[Ella]

Adhd.

[Interviewer]

What does that mean?

[Ella]

Like, the only way I can explain it is it feels like I've got like six, seven TVs on and they're all on a different channel at full volume at the same time.

[Interviewer]

Wow. Even like so now, yeah, I can

[Ella]

hear like sounds over there and sounds over there. I'm thinking about that and thinking about this and listening to their conversation and I'm wondering what that's about. And like, so I need to have something to dial into just for it to be a bit peaceful, get a rest from myself. This is the problem. I find myself annoying too, but everyone else can just leave. I'm like stuck here forever.

[Interviewer]

Everyone else just leaves.

[Ella]

Sometimes I think, oh, a little coma, that would be lush. Just for a couple of days. Do you know what I mean? Or like if a lobotomy was reversible. Just for a week off.

[Interviewer]

God, yeah. I mean, just so it needs to be as exciting as delivering a baby really to kind of get you through. Maybe just do more exciting things.

[Ella]

I do, I'm a bit random. I do do quite a lot of stupid, spontaneous things.

[Interviewer]

Oh, fantastic. Last word of note,

[Ella]

like 18 months ago, finished my training, went on a two week jolly, met somebody there, fell head over heels in love for the first time, had to go home, found out my job was starting like two months later than I thought, subletted my flat and bought a one way ticket back out to the Philippines two days later. It was great.

[Interviewer]

Fantastic. Hang on, that's just a little bit of rewinding there. Finish your training, you're out, then you go.

[Ella]

I went for a jolly in Thailand because my friend was there and he was like, just come.

[Interviewer]

And then when did he meet the.

[Ella]

And then a week into that I met this person on the beach. It was so weird. It was like, oh, there you are. It was like we'd met in another life. I've never experienced anything like it. It was so bizarre. And it was a woman that had never happened before and she like sat down in front of me and I was just like, oh, I know you. There you are. Where have you been? She was also from London, but we'd never met. And yeah, I was like, oh, this is what the love songs are all about.

[Interviewer]

It was really loud. This is what they're doing.

[C]

I was like, oh, okay, I get it.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Wow.

[Ella]

Just completely okay.

[Interviewer]

So then what, what happened then?

[Ella]

Well, I then had to go home and she was moving to Australia. So I got home, was like, really heartbroken. And then was like, there's actually no reason why I can't just go back out.

[Interviewer]

You came all the way back then to go back out?

[Ella]

Yeah. So I was home for about two weeks and so then I flew back out to meet her.

[Interviewer]

What was it like?

[Ella]

Oh, my God. It was magical. It was so lovely.

[Interviewer]

But then. And she moved to Australia.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And then that was just the end.

[Ella]

That was the end.

[Interviewer]

But is it. Is it the end, the end? Or is it like, just.

[Ella]

I don't know.

[Interviewer]

What does it mean?

[Ella]

I don't know.

[Interviewer]

Are you in contact?

[Ella]

Sometimes? Yeah. It's kind of hard when it's like nobody's up and there's nothing's bad's happened. It's just life is going in different directions, but definitely life changing, I would say.

[Interviewer]

Who are you now? Having experienced that, that you weren't before?

[Ella]

I think I was just a lot more open. And she just really changed how I sort of saw life and what I wanted to get from it. And in my mind, like, in another universe, we're like, happily married and living life.

[Interviewer]

But you're alive at the same time. Sure. It's possible.

[Ella]

It is possible.

[Interviewer]

Can you not make the universe? Is that what you want to happen?

[Ella]

I don't know. It's so scary.

[Interviewer]

Why is it scary?

[Ella]

Because it's. It would be such a big leap of faith to move across the world for somebody when I'm really happy here.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Would she move here?

[Ella]

No, she's done with the uk.

[Interviewer]

So. That's kind of sad, though, that, like, that's. Do you feel like you're always going to be comparing everything now to her, though?

[Ella]

I don't know. I have such face that what's for you won't pass you. And it might just be that it's meant to be. It's just not meant to be right now. Yeah, but it was so special and it makes me so happy whenever I think about it that it's like some people will never get that. Like, what a crazy thing to happen.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

Yeah, I guess. Watch this space, I suppose. Look how pretty that is.

[Interviewer]

It is so pretty, isn't it? We should explain, really, that it's. It's got dark.

[Ella]

It has.

[Interviewer]

And so, because there's a view over

[Ella]

the city, you can see Battersea Power Station through the trees there. That used to be a gay dogging station site and now it's a walled garden. Well, it was always a walled garden.

[Interviewer]

Both cannot be both get you a garden. Who can do both? That's what I think.

[Ella]

Amen. So pretty. In the summer. All the parakeets like fly at once to roost down there. And it's like this big green sort of tsunami.

[Interviewer]

What would your bench dedication say on it, by the way?

[Ella]

What would. That's such a good question.

[Interviewer]

She loved babies.

[Ella]

She loved babies.

[Interviewer]

Another seat, doctor.

[Ella]

I would want it to make people giggle. If you think about it right now, I'm touching your bum. Maybe that will

[Interviewer]

perfect. You know what's happened to me once, if you sit on and off benches, you also get someone who's was on their bench that was dedicated to them so their partner had died.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

They're like their two plaques. And then she had hers going, so and so born. And then the not yet filled in death.

[Ella]

That is so cool.

[Interviewer]

On their own bench.

[Ella]

That's wicked. So, yeah, so I could just get like a holder bench. Maybe I'd get bagsied by Ella still alive.

[Interviewer]

Just get Ella still alive forever. Maybe just do that. Yeah, maybe I'll get you a bench or dedication. A bench.

[Ella]

I'd love a bench.

[Interviewer]

Ella still alive. And then everyone could come and visit and be like. That was from this conversation.

[Ella]

Yeah. This bitch won't die.

[Interviewer]

I quite like that because it's like, even if you died, heaven forbid.

[Ella]

Heaven forbid.

[Interviewer]

Even if you died, it's like, yeah, you're still alive. Yeah, it still works.

[Ella]

That's why I like to always read the bench, because I feel like for that little minute, the person lives on.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, exactly. Ella's still alive.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Maybe I should get that sorted.

[Ella]

I'd really appreciate it.

[Interviewer]

Okay. I wonder how much it costs.

[Ella]

You have to call up Lambeth Council and ask them.

[Interviewer]

So. Hi, guys. I met a midwife at a park.

[Ella]

She's technically still alive.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. I said, I'll get her one and I'm a man of my word.

[Ella]

Well, I'm gonna hold you to that.

[Interviewer]

Now, let's say that I commit to doing this.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

I'll shake your hand.

[Ella]

Yeah, you do it. Oh, my God. That would make my life.

[Interviewer]

Is that a duck? Yeah, just a lone duck. To think that duck is like experiencing life as the duck.

[Ella]

It's alive. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

That duck just flew over us and just didn't think about us at all. They're just totally focused on the else said. What? What does that mean? We are. Do you know what I mean?

[Ella]

What? Like we could be ducks.

[Interviewer]

I don't know. I feel like. I've just. I feel like a bit, I would say, actually, this is up there with the biggest shambles of a bench conversation. But entirely.

[Ella]

Oh, great. I do bring that out in because of.

[Interviewer]

Entirely because of me.

[Ella]

I do bring that out.

[Interviewer]

I think maybe. You obviously have helped, but, like, it's so mostly my doing.

[Ella]

Right. I've just derailed you.

[Interviewer]

Yesterday was a really, like, big day.

[Ella]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

So last night I barely slept and had to get up really early. So I was just like. I'm a bit. Just like scrambled. Scrambled. Absolute scrambler cake. So that explains that. Okay, back to you. Get it to focus. I've got. How long have I got? I've actually. I've got to go in about 10 minutes.

[Ella]

That's fine.

[Interviewer]

So dark. This is the darkest interview I've ever done now.

[Ella]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

This is dark. Oh, we can see stars now.

[Ella]

My best friend and I, actually, in lockdown, used to come here and we learned, like, all the constellations.

[Interviewer]

Oh, that's so sweet. And of course, because there's fewer planes, right?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

So better stars.

[Ella]

There were some good stars and I used to do the constellations, but now I know. That's Polaris, I think. The North Star. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

There's a lot out there, isn't there?

[Ella]

There are quite a few and sometimes you see a satellite.

[Interviewer]

There's a lot up there.

[Ella]

Yeah. It's best not to think about it.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, exactly. I could just ask. I feel like it's so many things I want to ask you and it's just like the stars. It's like, where do you even begin, you know? Or where do you even end? We know you're a midwife.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

We know you fell in love.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

We know you're not currently in the same place as that lover. We know you don't necessarily want your own children, but you love, absolutely bloody love doing the. Delivering the things.

[Ella]

Yeah, we know.

[Interviewer]

Like crosswords. Yeah, we know. We're going to get a bed sheet saying Ella's still alive.

[Ella]

If that happens, I will cack my pants to that. I could probably die happy. I'm so excited. Do you think you could get it roped off so that only I can sit on it?

[Interviewer]

I'm going to get around the clock guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[Ella]

And to hold a brolly in case it rains.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that's going to be exciting. Any back to the questions? I need to ask you more questions. What part of you do people not see?

[Ella]

I think people would think that I'm a very happy, bubbly person, which I am. But I think I feel things very intensely and I get very low.

[Interviewer]

Oh, okay. What. What does a low. You look like.

[Ella]

Oh, Just generally what you'd find on, like, an NHS pamphlet.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

You know, all of the things. I feel like pretty much everybody's on antidepressants these days.

[Interviewer]

Are you?

[Ella]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

Oh, really?

[Ella]

I feel like everybody.

[Interviewer]

Really? Yeah. Is that like a generational thing?

[C]

Maybe.

[Interviewer]

What generation are you?

[Ella]

I don't. I think I'm on the cusp.

[Interviewer]

Is that a generation?

[Ella]

I don't know. I was born in 98. I think that's Gen Z.

[Interviewer]

Don't know. It's Jen Cusp.

[Ella]

Jen Cusp. I'm cuspy.

[Interviewer]

What am I saying? What are we saying? Shoe. There's low mood antidepressants. So if you didn't take antidepressants, who would I be talking to now?

[Ella]

Is that there would be a bench, but there'd just be a death date on it.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my God. Seriously, though?

[Ella]

No, probably. No, I think so. There was some close calls when I was a lot younger.

[Interviewer]

Seriously?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Fuck. I know you said this. We haven't got long to go, and you just said that. Oh, God. I mean, like, we can't end this on Suicide Chat, can we?

[Ella]

No.

[Interviewer]

No, we can't.

[Ella]

No.

[Interviewer]

But then it's like, that's the problem with the art. You've. You again. You've derailed it. Well, do you know, there's no way of getting a good arc in with you. It's like you're kind of like. There's like. There's no. We should have done.

[Ella]

I'm just a flat line.

[Interviewer]

We should have done. It's like this suicide stuff. In the middle.

[Ella]

In the middle. Well, you know, it never happened because I'm really pleased with my mum. Always used to this thing to my dad, because my dad is just a very rageful mental driver and has attended his fair share of speed awareness courses. And so she would always say, when I was younger, before he would leave the house, she would say, picture us all at your funeral and drive sensibly. And it always stuck with me. And then I remember in a really dark time, that was what popped into my head. And I thought, because in the moment, I think when you're in that place, you sort of think, I'm doing everyone a favor here. And then when I was actually forced to really think about that image in my head, that, like, my mum was wearing something very chic, but in tears. And then I was like, oh, no, they wouldn't be happy. And then I was like, I couldn't do that to them. I love them too much. So that's a good little Hack.

[Interviewer]

That is a good little hack. I'm not sure. Yeah, I could have some more concert warning on this one. Concept Warning. Shambles. Suicide now. Well, I'm immensely glad that you are here.

[Ella]

Me too.

[Interviewer]

And you're, like, giving so much greatness to the world.

[Ella]

I think I've been very lucky in life. I come from a really, really loving family. My parents have been married for, like, 36 years, and they're still obsessed with each other.

[Interviewer]

Sweet.

[Ella]

And I feel like so much love was poured into me that I like. I want to, like, share it. I want to pay it forward and.

[Interviewer]

Lovely.

[Ella]

Infect other people with it.

[Interviewer]

And you're gonna do that. And you are doing it. Magic, isn't it?

[Ella]

It is magic.

[Interviewer]

I'm interested how you.

[Ella]

Yeah, but I see magic every day, so.

[Interviewer]

You do. You do.

[Ella]

I do. I see actual magic every day.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. I mean, how should we end this? I don't know what to say now.

[Ella]

Okay. Should we do a thing?

[Interviewer]

Maybe this is a weird thing to do. I sometimes do. Yeah, look, I sometimes do, like, what can. We've already brain.

[Ella]

Have you got adhd?

[Interviewer]

Probably. Yeah, probably. But let's just move on.

[Ella]

You seem like you do.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, I know. I think I respond for people like

[Ella]

you, particularly, like, currently, though, we find each other.

[Interviewer]

You get me going like that. Kind of.

[Ella]

It's just like chaos bouncing off each other.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, exactly. So. Right. These podcasts always end with one question. The same question before that. Sometimes they get people to, like, look out and say what they can see. So we've kind of done that. So what I do sometimes instead is if you close your eyes. I can close my eyes, too. Weird. Closing eyes in the dark. But if you, like, can picture a kind of scene from your life that you can describe in really vivid detail. Can you do that for me? Is anything. Can you. Is this anything standing out?

[Ella]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

Can you do it?

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Do this. Can you do this?

[Ella]

I can. I'm thinking about a different park on a different bench.

[Interviewer]

Traitor.

[Ella]

I know. Slut. My best friend and I, we would go to this park in lockdown, and we'd have all of London to ours. Ours. Because we'd walk late at night and it was just as. And we'd sit in this park, and from this park, you could see the place that I now work. And at the time, I was applying to start a midwifery course, and we used to sit there and we'd say, ella's gonna work here, and my best friend, he's gonna work where he currently works. And we would just like, we just kept putting it out there.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ella]

And then it. And then, then it happened. And now like five years later, we're both where we wanted to be. So. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Beautiful.

[Ella]

Beautiful.

[Interviewer]

It's a beautiful end of the story. Beautiful end of the story.

[Ella]

Wow. Is that the title sequence?

[Interviewer]

That should be the theme track. It's a beautiful land at the sea story. Okay, well, so we've done that. I mean, what's it been like doing this for you?

[Ella]

Oh, it's been great. I've just been able to yap about myself for like an hour.

[Interviewer]

Perfect.

[Ella]

I feel kind of rude that I haven't asked you any questions.

[Interviewer]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They know about me. I've just bits and. But throughout the whole series of these things, it's like I drip, you know, bits drip out. Tit bits.

[Ella]

Tit bits.

[Interviewer]

Tit bit.

[Ella]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

Bits of tits.

[Ella]

Bits of tits.

[Interviewer]

Oh, God, there's so much of this that's getting chopped out. God, just saying. I feel like I'm drunk. Right, final question, final question. Do you have that effect of like making people feel like they're drunk? You can't see. You're trying to do the Christmas. Oh, no, you can't see it.

[Ella]

Now fold up your crossbow and I'm going to the club in a bit. And then the crossword club is gonna. Will review the day's progress and help each other out.

[Interviewer]

I love that. Yeah, with the 68 year old mate.

[Ella]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Sorry, last question is you kind of just revealed it a bit, but what are you going to do next?

[Ella]

Well, I'm on my annual leave, so I'm gonna go to my nice pub, gonna get a Guinness, do the crossover with my friends, go on a walk tonight. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Wow. Of course the data started for you. I forgot.

[Ella]

Morning. Yeah, and then I'll just go home and go to bed.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, okay, great.

[Ella]

I'm looking forward to it.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Do you sing?

[Ella]

No, no, I'm not actually allowed to sing in my house because it's so bad. My sister's got the voice of an angel. She's in like a big band. Oh, wow.

[Interviewer]

Insane big band.

[Ella]

Yeah, like a swing band.

[Interviewer]

Oh, sorry, I thought you meant like, she's in. I don't know. What's a big band? What is a big band? I can think of a big band now.

[Ella]

I don't know, all I can think of is one direction.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well. Yeah.

[Ella]

No, she's not in one direction.

[Interviewer]

The only thing I know about your Sister. She's not in one direction. Keep it information.

[Ella]

No, she's got an incredible voice.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Ella]

I got the personality.

[Interviewer]

So she could sing. It's a beautiful.

[Ella]

Yeah, she could.

[Interviewer]

Just a couple of jokes on a bench. What? Okay, so you want to do. Let's end this. You say five words, random words that come to your head, and that's how this is going to end. So, like, in order.

[Ella]

But you've been saying this is how this is going to end for, like, the last three hours.

[Interviewer]

I know. I just. I just want to. I'm thinking a funny way we could end this. I think maybe that's what I've just come up with.

[Ella]

Okay, and do I go and then you go, or I'm just saying.

[Interviewer]

No, no, no, no. Your words. Five words and then the last one, you just, like, say it with real vigor.

[Ella]

Okay. No, I can do this.

[Interviewer]

You can do this. Come on, mate.

[Ella]

On Millery Sphere. Look it up.

[Interviewer]

Okay, keep going.

[Ella]

Korea

[Interviewer]

the country.

[C]

No,

[Interviewer]

like, good. Show us

[Ella]

Korea. Like the country. Am I finishing theatrically?

[Interviewer]

Yeah. You're only two words in bench.

[Ella]

Bomb. That was the fifth one.

[Interviewer]

That's a four.

[Ella]

No, it wasn't. I said armillary sphere and then I said career. And then I said career. And then I said bench. And then I said bum. I love the word bum. Such a good word. Have you been recording?

[Interviewer]

Yeah, don't worry, has been recorded. Okay, bye. We say bye.

[Ella]

Okay, bye.

[Interviewer]

Bye.

[C]

Some are called to the abbey Some are cold to the sea Some are cold to the sciences and the making of machines Some are cold to deliver babies just come in the be she was cold to declare this kid's alive and full of beans. So good Friends of all ages Friends of all walks they cross where the pages on the benches in the park Stars are coming out and yet a day has only begun she was called to declare your babe's alive and full of song. Hand a baby to her mother Watch her soul leave and return Watching more than one person being born Stars are going out and yet a life has just begun she was called to declare your baby's alive Full of sun hold to declare your babes alive and full of sun. One day when it seems the midwife's gone and left this world Find her name inscribed upon the bench where she once curled Listen to glorious as it whispers from on high Ella isn't gone. Ella is still alive. Ella still alive. Ella still alive. Alice still alive. For death had no hold on the midwife. Death had no hold on the midwife. Death has no, hold on. The midwife.