
Tom Rosenthal talks to strangers on park benches, often leading to surprising revelations.
Loading summary
Host
Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I ask you a slightly odd question? I'm making a podcast called Strangers on a Bench, where essentially I talk to people I don't know on benches for 10 or 15 minutes. Are you up for that? Do you want to give it a go? First question, nice and easy. 1. Gentle, gentle in question.
George
Go for it, then.
Host
What's your favourite day of the week?
George
Sunday.
Host
Why?
George
Relaxing day.
Host
Just pure peace.
George
Yeah.
Host
Tell me what you do on Sunday to relax.
George
Well, I just get up and don't rush everything. Nowadays, on a Sunday. Sometimes later on in the day, lunchtime, I go to the cemetery.
Host
Lovely. Go to the cemetery over lunchtime. Who'd you go and see, or you?
George
Just my partner and my daughter who's dead.
Host
Your daughter's dead as well?
George
Yeah.
Host
Oh, God. Sorry about that. How. I mean, I just can't imagine. I mean. I mean, how's it. How's your. How's it. I mean, how have you been since. I mean, how have you dealt with it?
George
I don't know. I mean, you just. How do you deal with it? You hurt. You hurt quite a lot. And then as time passes, the pain eases. You don't think so at the time, but I would say, in all honesty, I still miss them as much as the day they went. Because, you know, sometimes you meet somebody in life or you have a daughter in life and, you know, you only meet that one person.
Host
So you visit. You visit the cemetery. Do you take anything with you when you go?
George
Flowers.
Host
And do you talk to them or plants?
George
Kind of. But I know they can't hear me, but I do because I miss them. Yeah. But, you know, it's not like I spend loads of time there. When I'm there, I just go there because I need to go there.
Host
Are they next to each other in the.
George
They're both together, yeah. He went first Andy and then Chantal was only two years ago, so. Yeah.
Host
Well, if it's not too painful. What were they both like as characters? What were they like?
George
He was loud.
Host
Too loud?
George
Sometimes, yeah. He had a beard just like you. He was scot Scottish, from Glasgow. Very generous with his time. Even though he was so loud and he was so outgoing, he was full of confidence, you know, it was the opposite of me. Which works, doesn't it?
Host
Works, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
George
Yeah.
Host
So if you can think of a memory with your partner that remains so strongly, or like a day maybe, or a time, what do you go back to?
George
Traveling. When we was younger, we used to Go traveling a lot, either in the car or abroad or we travel all over the country and, I mean, there's lots of things. Andy was that kind of person, you know. Yeah.
Host
What do you miss most about him?
George
Maybe his loudness.
Host
How do you replace that loudness? You just don't, I guess.
George
No, you don't? No, no. And I'm the type of person that believes at some stage in your life, you know, it's different when you're really young, but we met each other when we were in our 30s, and I think once you've met somebody, you don't. It doesn't happen again, you know, even if you're still relatively young when they go. But it doesn't happen again because you can't replace a person, really.
Host
You can't. What was Chantal like?
George
Chantal was a really lovely person. She was. She was absolutely. But she. I don't know if I want to say about Chantal, really, which is what I'm talking about. She just lost her way somewhere along the line, you know, the way people do. Then she ended up at the end being ill and she got cancer. But, yeah, I mean, I have two other children, so now I have a daughter. Her daughter, yeah.
Host
So her daughter.
George
Yeah, yeah.
Host
So Chantal's daughter.
George
Yeah. She's 22 now. Her daughter.
Host
Oh, wow. So you're a grandparent?
George
I'm a grandparent.
Host
Four to four.
George
Yeah.
Host
Fantastic. What's it like being a grandmother?
George
It's all right now.
Host
Oh, really? What was it at the start, when.
George
When they were young? It was hard work.
Host
Were you. Did. Did your children depend on you to.
George
Yes. I mean, with Chantal, she was ill, so I had to have. Jerry, so I've had Gerry since she was, like, two months old.
Host
Yeah. So do you have a particular closeness to.
George
Yeah, well, she's still living with me now. You know, she's. Gerry is so easygoing, such a nice nature, you know, if I have to tell her off, I mean, not now she's an adult. It would be maybe twice a year.
Host
Yeah.
George
That's the kind of person she is. Where a mother was a complete reverse. Yeah. Full of spirit, full of contradictions, but she's just so the opposite. Jerry, it's lovely.
Host
What's your life like now? What keeps you. Keeps you going?
George
What keeps me going? I think just life, isn't it? You got to like life, haven't you?
Host
You do. What makes you like life usually?
George
You know. I mean, the last couple of weeks, I've not been very well with this Cold and cough. But usually I keep fit.
Host
How do you like to keep fit?
George
Well, sometimes I go to the gym or sometimes I live in Nissan. So I walk from Islington through here.
Host
That's a good walk.
George
Yeah, but it's not a hard walk.
Host
Yeah, but it's a. It's longish.
George
Yeah, but I like walking.
Host
Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
George
I drove today, though.
Host
You drove here? Brilliant.
George
Yeah.
Host
Where did you grow up?
George
In France.
Host
Oh, exciting. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't expect you were going to say France. I don't know. Why?
George
Rouen.
Host
What was Rwand like to grow up in?
George
Well, you know, because of my age, it was quite different. We lived in the Algerian quarter. My dad is Algerian and my mother was Irish.
Host
Funky mix.
George
But. Yes, but I liked France when I lived there.
Host
I mean, what was a typical childhood scene? Something that you can recall, you know, a Sunday in childhood in Ruel. What was that?
George
Oh, it was great, actually, the Sundays, because my dad would go down to the. He would go down to the market and he would buy a whole chicken, but live and all the food, bring it back and make goose. Goose, yeah.
Host
Fantastic.
George
Yeah.
Host
So buy a live chicken.
George
Yes.
Host
And then kill it.
George
It's the thing there. It's the thing that they do. It's not the thing, it's the ritual.
Host
Yeah, of course. And how was this. How was this for you, this experience of chicken?
George
I didn't mind it. Some of my sisters minded it, you know, because my whole building was either Moroccans or Algerians in it. And, you know, if it wasn't a chicken, it would be a luminous. So, you know, it's their religion. It's the way they're brought up, isn't it?
Host
Yeah. What do you. What do you feel like? I mean, obviously you have those two histories there of the Irish and Algerian, and, I mean, what do you feel kind of. Do you feel like you're connected to both strongly? Do you feel one way or the other?
George
I'm just feel connected to Algerian. Don't ask me why, but I had a lot of love for my dad, and I had a lot of love for, you know, his ways. He was very into the family. He was. He was very wise.
Host
What would he make of today's world, do you think?
George
Oh, I think with London and England, he'd be okay with it. But the way that Palestine. No, he would be. He would be like me, really angry and upset.
Host
Yeah, it's upsetting, isn't it?
George
Yes, well, it's Frustrating because you can't do nothing about it because you've got these politicians that are so high and mighty and don't see clearly.
Host
Yeah, yeah, completely. There's that particular feeling of helplessness. Seeing. Yeah. Seeing pain and not being able to. Because the. Nate, you know, if a child fell off their bike here and was in pain, we would both go to attend it. It's just what people do and to not be able to do that is really tough. You know, you can donate money, you can protest all these things, but fundamentally, as you say, you're right. It's people in dark rooms.
George
Yeah.
Host
Making the choices.
George
Yeah.
Host
I suppose all we can do is be good to each other.
George
Yeah.
Host
Or the people we encounter. To the best we can do also.
George
Yeah. Yeah.
Host
Yeah. How do you feel about your. Your age? What do you think about it? What's it like being your age, whatever it is?
George
Well, do you know, be honest. It's the same as being any age, in all honesty, except that maybe the only thing is your body's different, but mentally. Yeah, you've grown wiser, but you're still the same, if that makes any sense. Yeah, but you're just this aged and you can't do anything about that.
Host
Yeah, for sure, for sure. If I could, I mean, maybe. This is silly question. If I today gave you a. A body that's 50 years younger, what would you do with it for a day?
George
Well, I don't know. I really don't know.
Host
Well, have a think. What do you reckon?
George
No, I don't. Where did you come up with that?
Host
I don't know, it just came to me. I. I don't really plan any of these questions.
George
Right. Well, I should plan that one a bit better.
Host
Is it not a good. Is it not a good one? But maybe you would like, you know, you would, I don't know, run down a hill or do something crazy. See what I mean? Is there anything you can.
George
Oh, yeah. If I had been more than a day, I'd like to take up running.
Host
Yes.
George
I've never been a runner. You see them flying about?
Host
Yeah, there's a lot now. I mean, you can do it. You said you're in the. You said you go to the gym.
George
I do, but that's impressive.
Host
Yeah, but what's it like to go to a gym? What do you do in there when it's bad weather?
George
I go on the treadmill.
Host
Do you. Do you see it?
George
Oh, I do the ski one as well.
Host
Oh, that's fun. Do you get to see, like, A virtual mountain effect or something? No, I don't put it on. I've not been to a gym.
George
You need it, do you?
Host
But I've not been, so I don't really know what happens in there. Do you?
George
Look, you have to motivate yourself when you go to a gym.
Host
Are you looking around at other people there?
George
No.
Host
No.
George
I'm not really that type of person.
Host
Though, so, you know, you've got a steely focus.
George
I've got a focus.
Host
When you're in the gym, you're like, I'm going on the treadmill.
George
Yeah.
Host
I'm not interested in other people.
George
No. If they want to speak to me, fine, but I'm not really.
Host
Do they speak to you in the gym?
George
No, not really.
Host
I'm just trying to figure out what happens in gyms. Has anything exciting to you happened in the gym and is anything fun happened?
George
No. Nothing bad. No.
Host
How do you feel about people with music on their bikes?
George
Sometimes I don't mind at all. It depends if I like the song, isn't it?
Host
Yeah. If it's Tom O'Dell.
George
If it. Well, yeah, I think it's.
Host
I think so. I'm basically. This is a weird conversation to have, in a way. You've told me that you've bumped into the singer Tom Odell in a cafe. So I'm just filling people in from. Filling the listener in.
George
Yeah.
Host
You've met two Tomas today.
George
Yes, exactly. I ate my day Tommy. Imagine. Do you know him?
Host
Yeah, I do know him. I can show you my phone. We've sent messages to each other, George. I approve it. No, no. I feel like we should send him a message after. We can tell him something, you know, you want. Maybe. Maybe in the cafe you didn't get.
George
Because you know something, he's out there buying his stuff.
Host
Isn't he buying his stuff in the cafe?
George
Yeah, yeah. He was buying some salad. It was delicatessen, really. You know, I don't think Tom goes in the cafe, do you?
Host
Well, he might.
George
He might. Yeah. Well, you know, you don't want to intrude, do you really? I respect other people's space.
Host
I think it's. I think so. I'm. There's been points in my musical life where I've been stopped and recognized quite a lot as well. I do music. I'm a kind of. I'm a bit like Tom Adele, but maybe like a rung below. Not quite as favourite below. Rung. Definitely a rung below. I mean, he's very, very serious. I'm just A little bit serious. All right. But I can tell you that it's very rarely ever a bad thing to be stopped and people to say hello to you, especially if it's maybe like.
George
You know, I did say hello to.
Host
No, no, that's great. Exactly. So I think you shouldn't feel bad for saying. For intruding. I think you did the right. You did the right thing.
George
Yeah.
Host
And I'm sure he remembered you. You've got a kind of memorable presence.
George
You know, I saw him one time before, but I didn't say hello that time. But I was in John Lewis on Oxford Street.
Host
Yeah. And he was there.
George
He was.
Host
I feel like maybe it's destiny. We should.
George
No, I think he was plugging his music at the time. I walked in and I heard his tune, and then I heard the voice and I went, no. So I scrummed all the way up to the elevator, and when I got to the top, there he was, tinkering away. Yeah, But On My Partner's Grave.
Host
Yeah.
George
One of Tom's songs.
Host
Really?
George
I've written a bit of it. Yeah.
Host
What was. What did he write?
George
Was it Nothing Compares or something? His song. Yeah. Anyways, part of his song is on it.
Host
I'm going to say this now, and it's a bit of a risk, but at the end of these episodes, I have different songs, songwriters doing a song, an original song, and this is too much Destiny not to ask him to do this one Right. So all I can say is I will ask him.
George
Yeah.
Host
And that would be funny, wouldn't it? Yeah, that would be a funny turn of event.
George
It is a funny day, isn't it?
Host
There we go. Do you play any instruments?
George
None.
Host
It's time to learn.
George
No. No.
Host
Why not? You said you feel like any age. Then why not learn the piano?
George
Oh, yeah.
Host
What would you learn? I could see you with a piano.
George
Yeah.
Host
Anything else that appeals?
George
Guitar. I mean, I think sometimes. This morning I was listening to Pink Floyd.
Host
Wonderful.
George
Yeah, it was nice.
Host
Do you blast it out when you play it? Do you really kind of turn it on?
George
Sometimes I do, but my neighbors complain to me.
Host
Do they?
George
One time they complained about me playing loud music.
Host
And what did you say?
George
They left me a note in my letter box. Could you ask your daughter to do.
Host
Oh, brilliant. That's so good. Did you admit that it was you?
George
Yeah. I'm not ashamed of.
Host
Yeah, you say get it right. It's me. Is that my daughter?
George
Yeah. She. She can play the type of music that I'm listening to.
Host
What what do you think you're in your life so far, what do you think you've been good at? What have been your great skills? Doing a self praise, I suppose.
George
Looking after my family.
Host
That's a good one. What's the best way to look after a family?
George
Give them lots of love.
Host
Yeah.
George
Be there.
Host
Simple as that?
George
Well, yeah. What else?
Host
Yeah, completely. Say if I was just about to start a family of my own, what would you say to me?
George
Will you be the right age? No, what I mean by that is that sometimes we can start too young.
Host
What do you think is a good age to start?
George
30.
Host
30?
George
Yeah.
Host
Is that because you started at 30?
George
No, I started when I was 16.
Host
16. Oh wow.
George
And then I was married to this man. That wasn't very nice.
Host
Oh, I see. Okay.
George
So I had two children. They're here in London, but this was in Manchester. Anyway, I was pregnant in them days. You had to get married.
Host
Yeah.
George
Now it's.
Host
Now it's just part of the course. Although it would still be a little bit of a surprise.
George
Yes.
Host
How so you. So you're 60 when you had your first child?
George
Well, I was 16 when I was pregnant.
Host
Yeah. What was that like?
George
Hard.
Host
I mean, did you feel like you hadn't had enough childhood?
George
Yeah.
Host
Do you still feel that now?
George
Yeah. And I don't think it was fair on the children as well, you know.
Host
Were you very quickly into kind of.
George
I mean, was that quick into motherhood?
Host
Yeah.
George
No.
Host
Took a while.
George
Yeah, it took a while. Yeah. And I just felt like, you know, there was so much I needed to do I hadn't done.
Host
So you wouldn't recommend that to someone else to have it?
George
Oh, definitely not. No.
Host
Having a kid that young, do you feel like you always, you were always looking for that youth again? No. You just. It was gone.
George
No, because. No, it was gone. Yeah. And really when they got to a certain age, there was so much still. I was still young that I can do, you know. You can catch up, can't you?
Host
Yeah.
George
On things.
Host
No, completely got a little insect there on you. Just in case. That was disturbing. Can you think of the happiest moment of your life? That's a big question, isn't it?
George
I've had many, but I would say when Andy was alive. Yeah.
Host
Just any day. He was alive any day.
George
At the beginning, I'm sure that at the beginning it's the best.
Host
Of course. How did he meet?
George
I'm not putting that down.
Host
Oh, really? Oh, tantalizing. Oh, can you this clue. Give me a Clue. Come on, this won't get back to you.
George
Oh yeah, well, I was. I was. He'd heard that I was selling a bit of smoke, so he came to my flat. He was in. Was it bitten the first time?
Host
Yeah.
George
Yeah. So then he just kept coming back.
Host
To see you or to.
George
Yeah, no, to see you, but on the excuse, on the pretense.
Host
And when did the pretence finish? Did he ask you out?
George
Yeah.
Host
And then things just happened very quickly, very smoothly.
George
Yeah.
Host
Fantastic. Did you get married?
George
No.
Host
No. Because you already met?
George
No, no, I was divorced, but I didn't.
Host
You didn't want to get married again?
George
I didn't feel the need.
Host
Yeah. There is no need. Really.
George
No.
Host
What was your wedding like when you were 17, in a suit, pregnant.
George
This blue suit.
Host
You were wearing a blue suit.
George
That's cool then.
Host
What do you remember of the day of getting married?
George
I ran away back home.
Host
You ran away from.
George
From the reception.
Host
From the reception, yeah. At what point did he run away?
George
Well, I think it was maybe about two hours. And I just ran home.
Host
As in literally ran home.
George
As literally went. Run home.
Host
You're running.
George
Well, it wasn't that far, you know.
Host
Did he say bye to anyone? No, no. Did anyone know.
George
You know when you kind of sneak.
Host
Off somewhere, you know, but it was your homework. Did anyone notice you go?
George
I can't remember now, but I just remember doing it and my. My mum sending me back.
Host
Oh God. How. What did you try and say to her when you got back in?
George
Well, I didn't want to be there.
Host
She just pushed you back out?
George
I knew it wasn't, you know. Oh, but I had to stay there. Oh God, yeah.
Host
Do you wish you ran before you. Do you need the toilet? Okay, so we'll be. We'll be quick sometimes with these things because obviously this is. This is audio and not visual. I sometimes think when people are listening they're going to be wondering not where we are, but what we can see. Can you describe what we can see and how it makes you feel?
George
Oh, the lake and the docks. Yeah, it's very relaxing.
Host
And then you had me come to ruin it.
George
Yeah, no, you, you know, you kind of like brighten my afternoon up.
Host
Oh, thank you.
George
Yeah.
Host
I've really enjoyed talking to you also.
George
Yeah. Cuz I'm quite a solar person really.
Host
Are you? Yeah, yeah, I can tell you're very willful person. Yeah, I like that. My kind of people are willful.
George
Good.
Host
Okay, a last question for you. The question is, what are you going to do next?
George
Now? Now I'm gonna go to La Toilette.
Host
And then past that.
George
Oh, past that. I'm gonna walk around.
Host
What are you gonna think about?
George
I'll think about this conversation.
Host
And all my terrible questions.
George
Now I should just think about life, really, isn't it?
Host
Yeah. Any message you got for Tom Odell?
George
No. Nice meeting you.
Tom Odell
Nice to meet you, too. And to hear a little bit about your life. Next time that you see me, make sure you say hi. In the delicate sun? Where I buy my red wine? And my lemons? And my limes? We can sit outside and stare? At all the strangers? Just passing by? Passing by strangers? Yeah.
George
As.
Podcast Summary: Strangers on a Bench – EPISODE 9: Deli Meets
Introduction
In Episode 9 of "Strangers on a Bench," host Tom Rosenthal engages in a heartfelt and introspective conversation with a guest named George. Over the course of their interaction, George shares profound personal experiences, including the loss of loved ones, reflections on family life, and his journey through life's challenges and joys. This episode, released on November 11, 2024, delves deep into themes of grief, resilience, and the human spirit, all set against the serene backdrop of London's parks.
Meeting on the Bench
The episode begins with Tom approaching George on a park bench, initiating a casual yet meaningful dialogue. George agrees to participate, setting the stage for an authentic and intimate conversation.
Favorite Day and Personal Reflections
Favorite Day of the Week: George shares that his favorite day is Sunday because it represents a day of relaxation and peace. At [00:54], he explains, "Relaxing day," emphasizing the tranquility Sundays bring him.
Visiting the Cemetery: On Sundays, George visits his partner and his late daughter at the cemetery. He poignantly states at [01:28], "I still miss them as much as the day they went," highlighting his enduring grief and the enduring bond he feels with his loved ones.
Character Insights and Family Memories
Character of Loved Ones: George describes his partner, Andy, as a loud, outgoing, and generous person from Glasgow, contrasting with his own more reserved nature. At [03:07], George remarks, "He was full of confidence, you know, it was the opposite of me."
Traveling Memories: Reflecting on happier times, George fondly recalls traveling with Andy during their younger years. He shares, "We used to go traveling a lot," at [03:50], illustrating the strong bond and joyful experiences they shared.
Grandparenthood and Family Dynamics
Becoming a Grandparent: George discusses his role as a grandparent to Chantal's daughter, who is now 22. He expresses contentment in his current grandparenting role, stating at [06:00], "I'm a grandparent," and elaborates on the differences in personalities within his family.
Supporting Family During Illness: George highlights his dedication to his family, particularly during Chantal's illness, mentioning at [06:14], "I had to have Gerry since she was, like, two months old."
Life’s Purpose and Daily Routine
What Keeps Him Going: George attributes his perseverance to simply enjoying life. At [07:28], he states, "What keeps me going? I think just life, isn't it."
Staying Active: Despite a recent cold, George maintains his fitness through gym visits and long walks. He mentions, "I like walking," at [07:58], underscoring the importance of physical activity in his daily routine.
Cultural Background and Childhood Memories
Growing Up in France: George shares his multicultural background, having grown up in Rouen, France, in an Algerian-Irish household. At [08:13], he reflects, "We lived in the Algerian quarter. My dad is Algerian and my mother was Irish."
Sunday Rituals: A vivid childhood memory involves his father buying a live chicken every Sunday to prepare for family meals. George explains at [09:07], "My dad would go down to the market and he would buy a whole chicken, but live and all the food, bring it back and make goose."
Views on Aging and Personal Growth
Perspective on Age: George expresses a pragmatic view on aging, emphasizing mental growth despite physical changes. At [12:13], he states, "You've grown wiser, but you're still the same, if that makes any sense."
Embracing Youthfulness: When posed with a hypothetical question about having a younger body, George contemplates the idea of taking up running, revealing his latent desire for new experiences. He muses at [13:20], "If I had been more than a day, I'd like to take up running."
Interactions with Music and Tom Odell
Musical Interests: George discusses his interest in music, particularly mentioning listening to Pink Floyd and his occasional loud music sessions, which led to neighborly complaints. At [18:13], he shares, "Sometimes I do the ski one as well."
Encounter with Tom Odell: A significant highlight of the conversation is George’s interaction with Tom Odell, the acclaimed singer-songwriter. George recounts meeting Tom at a café where he was quietly listening to Tom's music. At [17:07], Tom responds warmly, saying, "Nice to meet you, too. And to hear a little bit about your life."
Reflections on Marriage and Motherhood
Early Marriage at 16: George opens up about his early marriage at 16, describing the challenges and regrets associated with marrying young. At [20:03], he reflects, "Hard," and later admits, "I have two children, so now I have a daughter."
Running Away from the Wedding: In a candid moment, George shares his experience of running away from his wedding reception, illustrating the complexity of his emotions during that time. He recounts at [23:16], "I ran away back home."
Philosophical Insights and Concluding Thoughts
Helplessness in the Face of Global Issues: George expresses frustration over global conflicts, particularly referencing Palestine, and the helplessness felt when witnessing suffering without the means to intervene. At [10:23], he states, "It's frustrating because you can't do nothing about it."
Value of Kindness: Emphasizing the importance of being good to one another, George concludes with a simple yet profound message at [11:37], "All we can do is be good to each other."
Notable Quotes
On Grief:
On Age:
On Family:
On Helplessness:
Conclusion
Episode 9 of "Strangers on a Bench" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into George's life, marked by love, loss, resilience, and enduring connections. Through his candid storytelling and reflective insights, George embodies the essence of what it means to navigate the complexities of life with grace and honesty. Tom Rosenthal skillfully facilitates this deep conversation, allowing George's experiences to resonate and inspire. Whether dealing with personal grief or contemplating the broader strokes of life's journey, this episode serves as a poignant reminder of the shared human experience.
Final Thoughts from Tom Odell
As the conversation draws to a close, Tom Odell, who makes a brief appearance, adds a touching note:
This exchange beautifully encapsulates the serendipitous nature of connections made on park benches, leaving listeners with a sense of warmth and the possibility of future encounters.
This summary aims to encapsulate the emotional depth and richness of Episode 9: Deli Meets, providing an engaging and comprehensive overview for both regular listeners and those new to the series.