#320 | How to Stop Getting Overwhelmed by the Very Things That Light You Up When There's Not Enough Time as an HSP

Summary

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Episode Overview

Episode Theme:
Todd Smith explores a hidden stressor for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs): how too many exciting opportunities and interests—often the very things that bring joy—can quietly create overwhelm and emotional weight. The episode offers compassionate insight into why this happens, what it costs, and practical ways HSPs can regain depth and energy without giving up what they love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Overwhelm of “Good” Things (00:46–04:43)

• Todd highlights a unique HSP dilemma: The things that light you up—workshops, creative ideas, learning opportunities—can end up as an invisible to-do list, lingering as mental clutter.
• Todd shares a listener story:
  “Once she brings something into her awareness, it kind of becomes a to do for her. ‘I don't even have time to read all the information that I'm gathering… but I end up feeling guilty.’” — Todd Smith (01:42)
• Cycle of Overcommitment:
  HSPs sign up for things out of genuine excitement, but time never seems to appear, turning curiosity into a source of guilt or pressure.
• Metaphor:
  “It’s like opening a new browser tab every time something excites you… the tabs multiply… until your system starts to slow down or even crash.” — Todd Smith (02:36)

2. The Emotional Toll on HSPs (04:43–06:00)

• Not Enough Time = Stress:
  The pressure of not being able to do it all turns joy into stress, even if everything is technically positive.
• Confusion and Self-Doubt:
  HSPs may start to question their time management or potential, often feeling overloaded rather than lazy.

  “You’re not lazy, you're just overloaded. And worst of all, you start to mistrust your own enthusiasm.” — Todd Smith (04:54)

• Loss of Balance:
  The very excitement that motivates HSPs can start to feel like a trap, draining creative energy and clarity.

3. Loss of Depth and Satisfaction (06:00–07:51)

• Shallow Engagement:
  HSPs thrive on depth, but scattered attention reduces the ability to deeply engage with what matters.
• Consequences:
  • Scattered energy leads to nothing “sticking” or nourishing you.
  • Genuine curiosity becomes intrusive background noise and guilt.

4. It’s About Energy, Not Just Information or Time (07:28–08:52)

• Fragmented Energy:
  Overwhelm for HSPs isn’t just about too much information; it’s deeper—your energy and attention become fragmented. “It's really not about the information at this point. It's about your energy… your attention is getting fragmented. And that leads to a feeling of overwhelm quicker than anything.” — Todd Smith (07:28)

5. The Root of the Problem: Too Much, Not Too Little (08:05–09:28)

• Todd debunks common fixes:
  • It’s not about better time management or systems.
  • The issue is taking on too much, not doing too little.
• Discernment Gates:
  HSPs need stronger filters to choose what is truly worth their attention.
• “Even good things can become toxic if you don't have discernment gates.” — Todd Smith (08:12)
• The core belief causing stress:

  “I have a million great ideas and I have to act on all of them, I have to bring them to fulfillment. Total impossible ask.” — Todd Smith (08:52)

6. The Shift: Filters and Choosing Depth (09:28–10:38)

• Strong Filters, Not More Time:
  What if the solution isn’t more time, but stronger filters for your interests and commitments?

  • The HSP who thrives does less, not from fear, but through conscious choice.
  • HSPs naturally love “all possibilities” but must practice narrowing focus for depth.

• “You can't think your way out of overload. You have to filter your way forward.” — Todd Smith (10:19)

7. Protecting Your Bandwidth (10:19–11:07)

• HSPs must treat their attention and bandwidth as essential resources to protect.
• When energy is hijacked by too many good things, the antidote is not shrinking ambitions but learning to choose intentionally.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Each open tab is like a promise to yourself… even when you're not looking at those tabs, they're all still there, quietly draining some of your energy.” — Todd Smith (02:59)
• “As HSPs, we thrive on depth. We're built for depth, we love depth. But when I'm doing five things at once or trying to switch back and forth, it's nearly impossible to go as deeply as I would like.” — Todd Smith (06:37)
• “You're not doing too little. The problem is you're taking in too much.” — Todd Smith (08:12)
• “The HSP… who thrives, in my experience, is one who doesn't do less because they're afraid, but does less because they've learned how to choose.” — Todd Smith (09:36)
• “You can't think your way out of overload. You have to filter your way forward.” — Todd Smith (10:19)

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Practical Takeaways

• Don’t try to do it all. Curate your interests and opportunities—using intentional filters rather than feeling obligated to act on everything.
• Notice the shift from excitement to obligation — when something you absorbed for inspiration turns into guilt, acknowledge the pattern.
• Remember: Thriving as an HSP is about depth, not breadth.
• Protect your energy like it’s your most precious resource, because it truly is for sensitive people.

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Key Segment Timestamps

• 00:46–03:15: The cycle of “good” things creating stress
• 03:15–04:43: Todd’s personal story of creative overload
• 04:43–06:00: Overwhelm, confusion, and self-doubt
• 06:00–07:51: Loss of depth and mental distraction
• 07:51–08:52: Fragmented energy and why it matters
• 09:28–10:38: The need for strong filters and conscious choices
• 10:38–11:07: Protecting bandwidth and concluding insights

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Final Words

Todd encourages listeners not to abandon what excites them, but to choose mindfully, filter carefully, and reclaim the depth and nourishment their sensitivity offers.
“You don't need to quit being curious. You just need to stop letting it control you. Let's find the balance.” — Todd Smith (11:07)

Transcript

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By the end of this episode, you'll discover why even the things that light you up can leave you feeling stressed, and how to find peace and clarity when everything feels equally exciting.

Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm, eliminate stress, and find true inner freedom. I'm your host, Todd Smith, a facilitator of the work of Byron Katie, a way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I'm a highly sensitive person myself.

In this episode, you'll discover why having too many genuinely exciting ideas, goals and opportunities can lead to a hidden kind of overwhelm, how this kind of good stress quietly affects your clarity, energy and follow through and a surprising approach to find balance without giving up the things you love. Welcome to this edition of Self Compassion Wednesdays, where we dive deeper into understanding ourselves as highly sensitive people by exploring the unique traits that shape our experience.

Does this sound familiar? You sign up for a new workshop, then a podcast episode unlocks three new creative ideas for you. You download a freebie, save the email, and then tell yourself this will be great and you look forward to it. And you think, when I finally have time for it, I'm going to really dive into this. But time never shows up. And what started as genuine curiosity now feels like an invisible to do list that follows you around everywhere. One listener told me that once she brings something into her awareness, it kind of becomes a to do for her. She said, I don't even have time to read all the information that I'm gathering or to research it even, but I end up feeling guilty. This cycle is something that can repeat again and again for highly sensitive people. Maybe you've tried planning better, maybe you've tried cutting back. But then what happens is something really good pops up again and you're pulled right back in. The thing is, it's something exciting that's drawing you, so it's extremely hard to resist that because it's something you're interested in. But the problem is, it's like opening a new browser tab every time something excites you. You know, a course or an idea or a resource, and you think, I'll come back to this. But the tabs multiply, as they so often do, until your system starts to slow down or even crash.

Each open tab is like a promise to yourself. Like, I'm going to come back, I'm going to attend to you, I'm going to give you time. And even when you're not looking at those tabs, they're all still there, quietly draining some of your energy.

For me, this shows up in running a business. You know, I have ideas for new courses. I love creating new systems. I'm thinking of new podcast episodes all the time. And I might be out walking or, you know, in the shower, and suddenly I'm outlining a whole new program in my head or. Or I'll hear a client say something that was really insightful, and I'll immediately think, oh, that could be a great episode, or that could be a whole new series. And I get excited, I write it down, I create a new folder for it. And then another idea comes, and another, and another. So each one seems like it. It really does feel so important. Each one is so aligned, and so I'm so excited about it. But what happens is soon I'm staring at 17 unfinished folders, and each one is quietly saying to me, remember me. Don't forget. And so, even though nothing's technically wrong, you know, I do do something that I love. And I'm grateful for the creativity, but there's this kind of quiet pressure that builds in the background, and it can become kind of an emotional weight as well. That builds not because I'm failing, but because I care. And as HSPs, we care. It's one of our. The hallmarks of our trade.

The problem is there's just not enough time to do it all. And that is when good things start to feel like stress.

So the problem is that now you're not just overwhelmed, you're confused. You start wondering, am I mismanaging my time? Am I not living up to my potential? Why can't I follow through on things that I want to do? And your nervous system can start really buzzing. This is your mind getting overstimulated over aroused, and starting to reach that point of overwhelm. You're not lazy, you're just overloaded. And worst of all, you start to mistrust your own enthusiasm. This is the hardest part, because we are so like kids. We're just so enthusiastic. And when we realize that we can't do it all, we start wondering, yeah, what? What do I trust? It can become very confusing. You know, the very things that make you feel alive can end up feeling like a liability, like this is just a trap. I'm gonna go explore this. And then pretty soon there's. There's no more balance in my life.

And then what happens is, if you stay in this loop, your creative energy can start to get diluted. So, for example, you sit down with the intention to journal or to read, or to finally finish an inspiring workshop that you signed up for. But just as you get settled, you remember an email newsletter with a new technique you wanted to try. And then you think, maybe I should research that other program that I bookmarked last night. And suddenly you're checking tabs, rereading notes, skimming another video, never quite landing anywhere. You're still doing things. But the problem is, and this is really the problem, the depth is gone. And as HSPs, we thrive on depth. We're built for depth, we love depth. But when I'm doing five things at once or trying to switch back and forth, it's nearly impossible to go as deeply as I would like to go.

So instead of giving your full attention to one practice or one idea and letting it nourish you, you're scattering your energy across many different directions. And the problem is, nothing sticks. What started as genuine curiosity can turn into mental noise and guilt for not following through.

So it's really not about the information at this point. It's about your energy. Your energy is getting fragmented, your attention is getting fragmented. And that leads to a feeling of overwhelm quicker than anything. And as highly sensitive people, we reach that point faster than most people.

So what is the answer? How do you deal with this? You might think that it's about managing your time better, and to some degree there can be some truth in it, but it's really not the core of the problem.

You may think that you just need a better system, but that's not really it either.

You're not doing too little. The problem is you're taking in too much. And the real issue is that even good things can become toxic if you don't have discernment gates. What I mean by that is if you're just floundering in lots of different things, all of which you're excited about, and not going in more deeply on any of them, it's going to become not only overwhelming, but frustrating. And you can even start taking it out on yourself as a result.

As HSPs, we're wired for depth and we're not wired for doing everything. That's just not what we're cut out to be. So the belief that you have to act on every good idea is what's stretching you thin. This is the crux of it. This is what's breaking your energy. This is what causes the overwhelm, the frustration. It's a belief, it's an idea. I have a million great ideas and I have to act on all of them, I have to bring them to fulfillment. Total impossible. Ask.

What if you didn't need more time? What if you just needed stronger filters?

The HSP.

That really thrives, in my experience, is one who doesn't do less because they're afraid, but does less because they've learned how to choose. And this is a tough thing. We HSPs love to hang out in all possibilities. We can do it all. We can see how everything could work, but we have to get our feet into the earth a little bit. And that means coming down into the concrete world of picking something and choosing. When we do, we open up the possibility of going deep, which is actually another part of our trade.

So HSPs who thrive protect their bandwidth like it's the most essential thing in the world, like it's their their life depends on. Because in a way, it does. You can't think your way out of overload. You have to filter your way forward.

So if energy is being hijacked by too many good things in your life and you don't want to keep feeling scattered or guilty for not keeping up with each inspiration. This is exactly why I created the HSP Inner freedom program for HSPs who want to stop spiraling in content overload and finally feel calm and clear and creatively alive again.

Go to the show notes or visit trueinnerfreedom.com Solutions to book a free HSP Inner Freedom. Call with me and we'll walk through exactly where your energy is leaking and I'll show you the exact system I use to help sensitive creatives protect their bandwidth without shrinking their ambition. You don't need to quit being curious. You just need to stop letting it control you. Let's find the balance. I'll see you there.