← Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People (HSP): Inner Work and Strategies for Coping with Stress, Overwhelm, and Negative Emotions
Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People (HSP): Inner Work and Strategies for Coping with Stress, Overwhelm, and Negative Emotions
#323 | The 4 Core Traits of Highly Sensitive People & Why Life Gets Easier When You Work With Them
00:22:50
Loading summary
Transcript12 lines
- [00:01]
A
By the end of this episode, you'll discover the four traits that define being a highly sensitive person and how they can help you create a life that actually works for you.
- [00:15]
B
Welcome to Stress Management for Highly Sensitive.
- [00:18]
A
People, a podcast helping HSPs avoid overwhelm.
- [00:22]
B
Eliminate stress and find true inner freedom. I'm your host, Todd Smith, a facilitator.
- [00:29]
A
Of the work of Byron Katie, a.
- [00:31]
B
Way to question and reduce stressful thoughts. And you guessed it, I'm a highly sensitive person myself.
- [00:44]
A
In this episode, you'll discover the four core traits that define what it means to be a highly sensitive person. What the research reveals about how HSP brains and nervous systems are wired and how to use this understanding to live a more balanced, aligned life. Welcome to this edition of Self Compassion Wednesdays where we dive deeper into understanding ourselves as highly sensitive people by exploring the unique traits that shape our experience. I didn't discover that I was a highly sensitive person until a few years ago when a friend suggested that I take the HSP test. I found it immediately affirming. And as I've looked into it more and have studied the trade in more depth, I've not only found more self understanding and acceptance for the way I am and the way I'm built, but I've learned practical ways to support my ideal state of balance. So let's take a look at the four core traits that define what it means to be a highly sensitive person. The pioneering researcher Elaine Aaron came up with these four through research and she calls it D, O E S does. So the word does stands for D depth of processing, O for overwhelm, E for emotion or empathy, and S for sensory sensitivity. So let's look at each of these in a little more depth. The first one is depth of processing. This is one of the core defining characteristics of being a highly sensitive person. And it's very different than just being sensitive like due to stress sensitivity. Depth of processing means that all the information that you get in that comes in through the senses comes in through anything you learn. This information goes in deeply and your mind naturally will work on it. Find connections. Try to look for ways to understand it better. Connect it to old pieces of information. Come up with new insights. It's going to work with your, with that information for a long time. And it doesn't matter if it's something small, just something someone said in a social context, or it's something at work, or if it's something that you're learning. So in all these cases, your brain as a highly sensitive person Is designed to go deeply, and it does this by making as many different kinds of connections as it can to process the information that comes in. The result of that is there's a lot of depth of insight. There's a lot of ability to look into what the repercussions of actions are. There's a lot of more information that we deduce from the original data points that come in through our senses or through our reasoning. So depth of processing is something that you is a natural trait. You're born with it, and it will serve you your whole life long. As a highly sensitive person, it just comes with the territory. The only thing that we have to kind of deal with because we process things so deeply is overwhelm. So this is the o in D O E s. That means that because we're processing so much, we can reach our limits of just how much our system can handle at a particular time. And so we can. We can max out. We can literally shut down, you know, crash the computer, if you will. Like, if you notice this, if you're a highly sensitive person, you reach your limit way earlier than other people do. That's because of not only the depth of processing, but also the emotion and the sensitivity itself. All three of these factors contribute. So if you are aware of this, you can stop, take a break, and begin to regroup and let things settle a little bit before pushing on. We as highly sensitive people, have to pace ourselves because we're doing some deep work, we're doing some heavy lifting, and as a result, we can't just power through as some people can. So overwhelm is one of the telltale signs of being a highly sensitive person. Overwhelm can come from different directions, can come from emotional overwhelm, can come from just too much thinking, and it can come from also a kind of stress reaction that comes when you have too much sensory input. So, for example, very commonly, highly sensitive people get overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, any of the senses being really strong. So let's look at the next one, do E s. The e stands for emotion or empathy. And we have emotional depth by nature. We're interested in emotion, we feel things deeply, and we're attuned to other people's experiences and to their emotions as well. So this means that we are uniquely capable of being great caregivers, of being great friends, great partners. We are very tuned into the dynamics in a workplace. We are capable of when, especially when we mature, of being able to really handle challenging situations that come up with emotions. Because we're so dialed in and aware of them. The only issue again, is that if we don't pace ourselves, we can get overwhelmed easily. And if we get too wrapped up in other people's emotions, not knowing the difference between ourselves and other people or where to draw that line, then we can get out of balance. Of course. But this is a powerful area of being a highly sensitive person. This kind of emotional depth and this ability to sense what's really going on, to feel what's really needed in a situation. This is a superpower that is so needed in our world. And there's a reason why 15 to 20% of the population has this HSP trait. We bring a lot to the table. So the last one do E S does. The last one is S stands for sensitivity. And this is meant by like sensory sensitivity. And this is what I was saying, like, you will notice the subtle signals that somebody is sending. Small facial features. You'll notice little body language changes. You'll notice slight changes in weather. You'll notice all kinds of little subtleties and shades of color and nuance in any kind of situation. This is because we're tuned in to notice the nuance. I often say that you ask a regular, non highly sensitive person to count from 1 to 10, they'll go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. If you ask a highly sensitive person, they'll go 1.1, 1.2, 1.3. Hold on. It could be 1. 3.1, 1.31. And you know, it's infinite. So we naturally pick up on the subtlety of life. And this leads to a richness in our, in our experience. But again, it's more information that can also lead to overwhelm. And so we have to protect ourselves. It's interesting considering this framework that Dr. Elaine Aaron came up with, the D.O.E. s framework for understanding what it means to be a highly sensitive person. It's, it's something that I love to not just think about academically, but to test with direct experience. And so in my HSP Inner Freedom Program, we share how these four traits show up for each of us. And it's very affirming to find that as HSPs, we're all wired that way. And it's, it's very normalizing. Suddenly we stop thinking of ourselves as overthinking or being too emotional or getting too caught in the minutiae, and we stop seeing that as a flaw and start experiencing it as, oh my gosh, that's the way we're Wired. And we're wired that way for a reason. And that reason is it is supportive for the population at large and also for our own levels of fulfillment. So let's look for a second at what the research reveals about how HSP brains and nervous systems are actually wired. I want to highlight three studies that were done probably around 2010 to 2014. And the first one was by Dr. Elaine Aron and others. And it is describing how HSPs process information more deeply. And this gives the scientific understanding for the trait that I was just describing. HSPs show increased brain activation in regions related to awareness, attention and sensory integration, even when processing subtle or neutral stimuli. And this is really important because it shows that we are going deeper with what we're taking in. It means that it's not just that HSPs notice more, but they think more about what they notice. And this deeper cognitive processing happens automatically, which explains why we tire more easily and need more downtime to integrate. We go deeper, but we need to pace ourselves. The second study shows how the HSP brain is more reactive in areas linked to empathy and social cues. And this is by Dr. Acevedo. And it is showing how HSPs demonstrate greater activation in what is called the mirror neuron systems, such as the insula and anterior cingulate cortex, which these systems are built for us to be able to see someone else doing something and then we can do it ourselves, or we can experience it ourselves and it can be an emotion that someone is having. We can, we can experience that, what that feels like. We can use this in many different ways. So they tested having people look at facial expressions especially, well, different people's expressions. And they tested also people that they loved closely or were close to. And there was a much greater activation in these mirror neuron systems in highly sensitive people compared to the controls. So as HSPs we're wired to pick up on emotional nuance. We don't just notice others feelings, we can actually feel them. We can feel what it feels like to feel them. We can imagine what it feels like, which explains our deep empathy and sometimes emotional overwhelm, because we know that sometimes we have to say something that someone won't like, but we already know what it's going to feel like for them and we tend to not want to have them feel that. So it's empathy, which is wonderful, but we have to learn how to work with it so that we don't become trapped by it as well. So the third study, I want to just touch on is how sensory sensitivity is not a disorder. It's actually a normal evolutionarily conserved trait. And this one by Dr. Aaron showed that the HSP trait is found in over 100 species, from fruit flies all the way to primates. And this really helps to normalize that. This is not an accident, this is not a problem. And what it really highlights is that people or animals that have the HSP trait have developed something that allows them to naturally pause and check before doing anything. And this is a survival strategy. It's observing and thinking critically before acting. And so this means that sensitivity is not a flaw at all. It is a biologically based temperament that evolved to enhance survival through caution and through observation and through attunement to subtle shifts in the environment. So seeing what this trait is, let's think about how we can use this DOE s model to live a more balanced and aligned life. Basically, if we look at each one of these, for example, depth of processing, we can see some practical ideas coming out of this of how to live more in attunement with our own nature. So depth of processing means that we process everything we experience and we may have more insight as a result, but we also get mental fatigue as a result. So what you can do is build in some buffer time between activities so that your system can integrate and decompress before moving on to the next one. Also journal or reflect after meaningful conversations or events. This can help digest experiences and prevent mental overload. And don't rush decisions. Give yourself permission to sleep on things. Your insight tends to deepen with time, so allow that time. So let's turn now to overstimulation. The O in does. Because you take in so much, your system can easily become overwhelmed. So how can you take this fact into consideration as you design your life? One thing is to simplify your environment. Just having a few less tabs open in your mind or on your screen or in your life, just simplify. Can you cut back on the number of things you're trying to do? You will find a large degree of balance coming in from a small move in that direction. Prioritize rest as a strategy. It's not a reward, it's a part of how you get things done. So recovery is something that you need to think of as part of your rhythm in being able to perform and do things well. And then notice the early signs of overstimulation, which can be irritability or fogginess or fatigue. And respond as early as you can. Like, just cut the like. Nip the burnout before it sets in. We respond very well to rest, and if you give yourself the rest you need, you will find yourself bouncing back and ready to go again. Then let's look at emotional responsiveness and any tips we can learn from the fact that we are so empathetic and so emotional by nature. One thing to keep in mind is that we need to practice having emotional boundaries. And this is something you can do externally, but even more importantly something to do internally. Because when we get confused about where our boundaries are or if we override our own boundaries, even out of being kind, we can end up causing more overwhelm and more stress for ourselves. I also love to use inner work tools like the work of Byron Katie to question stressful interpretations and come back to myself when I get confused about whose business am I actually in? Is it my business or their business? And finally, we can work with our empathetic and emotional self by taking care of ourselves. When we take care of ourselves, we have more to give to others. And so being attuned to others doesn't mean that we have to self sacrifice. If we can get that clear and find the balance of how much to give to ourselves, how much to give to others, it can make a huge difference on staying balanced in terms of our emotions. And then finally, let's look at sensitivity itself. We notice a lot of things that others miss, but we can get overwhelmed by it. So if you notice that you are, you know, like if you're seeing a lot of different things going on and you may want to limit unnecessary input, don't crowd your senses, like reduce clutter a little bit, lower the noise a little bit, curate your digital life. I love taking away all of those little pop up reminders on my computer. I will go and find them when I need them. I don't need them coming to find me. So limiting your input, being just strategic about it, limiting how much time you're spending in very chaotic environments and also trust your intuition, but validate it. Don't pause and check before reacting and use your superpower of subtle perception in places where it really counts. In creative work, in leadership, in coaching, in relationships where that nuance actually matters and then kind of call out things that you don't need to put as much attention on whenever possible. It's not that you can turn off the HSP trait it's always on, but you can use your intelligence to limit which things you're focused on and which things you expose yourself to so that you have less chance of being overwhelmed. So the feeling I'm left with today is that being an HSP is as normal as being male or female. We have different specialties, and as an HSP we have a specialty that allows us to go deeply and allows us to be very empathetic and to notice subtlety. In this episode, we looked at the four core traits that defined what it means to be a highly sensitive person and they are depth of processing, tendency towards overwhelm, tendency towards emotion. Like we perceive emotion more and we're more empathetic as well as general sensitivity. We also looked at the research and what that reveals about HSP brains and the nervous systems that we have, and we looked at how using this understanding can help us live a more balanced and aligned life. So thanks for listening. It's always great to explore with you. This program comes out three times a week on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Join me next time for Strategy Fridays, where we think about specific things you can do to help manage stress as a highly sensitive person.
- [22:01]
B
Tired of feeling overwhelmed by everything all at once? Take the HSP stress test@truinnerfreedom.com youm'll also.
- [22:10]
A
Find a link in the show notes. The test will reveal your unique sensitivity.
- [22:15]
B
Profile, including how your nervous system naturally responds to stimulation, emotions, social energy and more.
- [22:25]
A
You'll also gain a clearer picture of.
- [22:27]
B
How stress might be amplifying that sensitivity. Take the HSP Stress Test now. It's a powerful first step on your journey to true inner freedom.