Selects: Star Wars Holiday Spectacular

Summary

Stuff You Should Know: Episode Summary – "Selects: Star Wars Holiday Special"

Release Date: November 30, 2024
Hosts: Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In this special annual release of Stuff You Should Know, hosts Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant delve into one of the most infamous entries in the Star Wars franchise: the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. This episode serves as both a nostalgic trip for longtime listeners and a cautionary tale for new fans about the pitfalls of franchise expansions.

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2. The Genesis of the Star Wars Holiday Special

Background and Intentions:

Following the monumental success of Star Wars: A New Hope in 1977, George Lucas sought ways to sustain the franchise's momentum ahead of The Empire Strikes Back. During a [08:05] Chuck Bryant explains, "Star Wars has become a huge, huge hit. Seemingly out of nowhere, establishing George Lucas as one of the brilliant young minds in filmmaking." To keep audiences engaged, Lucas was approached by CBS executives to create a television special.

Key Quote:

Chuck Bryant highlights the strategic timing, "Right before Thanksgiving and he said there'd be a lot of people watching TV pre holiday season, or I guess in the holiday season." (10:53)

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3. Production Challenges and Creative Decisions

Variety Show Format:

The special adopted the variety show format, popular in the 1970s, despite the genre's waning popularity. Josh Clark notes, "Variety shows had dominated television for over 10 years. But it had come to an end. It was getting stale." (15:00) This choice proved detrimental, as the format clashed with the established Star Wars narrative and audience expectations.

Hiring a Dream Team:

The production team included seasoned variety show veterans like Bruce Vilanch and the husband-wife duo from Shields and Yarnell. Chuck Bryant recounts, "He was just a train wreck in every single sense of the word, top to bottom." (18:05) The initial director, David Acomba, left early in the production, leading to further instability.

Key Quote:

Josh Clark humorously reflects on the writers' optimism, "We had literally a dream team. Yeah, a variety show dream team. And everybody was good, but there were probably no bad welders." (13:50)

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4. Content and Structure of the Holiday Special

Plot Overview:

The special centers on Han Solo and Chewbacca attempting to return to Chewbacca’s home planet, Kizuk, to celebrate Life Day. However, they are delayed by an Imperial blockade, shifting focus to Chewbacca’s family on Kizuk waiting for his return.

Notable Segments:

• Musical Numbers: Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia performs several songs, notably appearing disoriented and seemingly under the influence, adding to the special’s surreal atmosphere. Josh Clark observes, "Princess Leia is clearly on drugs." (22:42)

• Cooking Segments: Harvey Korman, playing a Julia Child-esque chef named Gormanda, hosts a lengthy cooking segment, which adds to the prolonged and disjointed pacing of the special.

• Introduction of Boba Fett: An animated segment introduces the character Boba Fett, marking his first appearance in the Star Wars universe. Chuck Bryant mentions, "It introduces Boba Fett like you said. And it's actually not bad." (45:38)

Key Quote:

Chuck Bryant humorously critiques the special’s length, "It was supposed to just be an hour, but so many advertisers wanted to sign on that they extended it to two hours." (31:13)

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5. Reception and Aftermath

Viewership and Critical Response:

Upon its airing on November 17, 1978, the special garnered 13 million viewers but failed to retain its audience, losing the second hour in ratings to popular programs like The Love Boat and a Pearl Harbor miniseries. Critics and fans alike lambasted the special for its poor execution and deviation from the Star Wars essence.

Impact on George Lucas:

The disastrous experience led George Lucas to adopt a more hands-on approach in subsequent Star Wars projects. Josh Clark explains, "He totally was okay for the shoot, but from this Christmas special, he became the very hands-on person that he is famous for being." (32:40)

Key Quote:

Nathan Rabin of the A.V. Club offers insight, "One of the great redeeming values of this special is that it does eventually end." (47:51)

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6. Legacy and Cultural Impact

Cult Status:

Over the years, the Star Wars Holiday Special has achieved a cult status, often referenced as one of the worst television productions ever. Despite its initial failure, it remains a topic of fascination and humor within the Star Wars community.

Fan Engagement:

Hosts Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant encourage listeners to watch the special on YouTube, albeit with reservations about its content and production quality. They reference the improved quality of the WHIO, Dayton, Ohio, Channel 7 version, noting, "It's pretty much a highlight reel of the gang saying, like, if you like this, go see the movie." (54:05)

Key Quote:

Chuck Bryant muses on personal feelings towards the special, "I love it. It does not taint my Star Wars experience or my love for the franchise. I'm glad it is out there because it's a fun little stain that shouldn't be taken too seriously." (55:35)

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7. Hosts' Reflections and Final Thoughts

Personal Insights:

Both hosts share their individual takes on the special's quirks and flaws. Josh Clark admits the challenge of watching it multiple times, while Chuck Bryant appreciates its campy and overwrought nature, finding it an amusing addition to the Star Wars lore.

Closing Remarks:

They conclude by pointing listeners to additional resources and encourage a light-hearted approach to the special, emphasizing that while it’s notoriously bad, it holds a unique place in television and Star Wars history.

Key Quote:

Josh Clark summarizes, "Don't take things too seriously. I think that's the great lesson in this and in the lesson of Life Day." (58:13)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [07:16] Chuck Bryant: "We were really excited because this is Star Wars. How could it lose?"

• [22:42] Josh Clark: "Princess Leia is clearly on drugs."

• [31:13] Chuck Bryant: "It was supposed to just be an hour, but so many advertisers wanted to sign on that they extended it to two hours."

• [47:51] Nathan Rabin: "One of the great redeeming values of this special is that it does eventually end."

• [55:35] Chuck Bryant: "I love it. It does not taint my Star Wars experience or my love for the franchise."

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Conclusion

Through an in-depth examination of the Star Wars Holiday Special, Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant illuminate the challenges and missteps that led to its notorious reputation. Despite its flawed execution, the special remains a fascinating artifact within the Star Wars canon, offering lessons on the importance of maintaining franchise integrity and understanding audience expectations.

Listeners are left with a blend of amusement and appreciation for the eccentricities of this television misadventure, reinforcing Star Wars' resilience and enduring legacy.

Transcript

[Chuck Bryant]

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[Josh Clark]

Thanks so much.

[Chuck Bryant]

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[Josh Clark]

Banking with Capital One helps you keep more money in your wallet with no fees or minimums on checking accounts and no overdraft fees. Just ask the Capital One bank guy. It's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. He'd also tell you that this podcast is his favorite podcast, too. Thanks, Capital One Bank Guy. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capital1.com bank capital1NA member FDIC. Happy Life Day, everyone. To longtime listeners of Stuff youf Should Know, or at least ones who've been listening for just over a year, we release this episode, the Star Wars Holiday Special, every year. And it's kind of considered the official start of the holiday season throughout the Western hemisphere. And if you are new to the podcast, well, then say hello to your newest holiday tradition. Enjoy this year's annual holiday presentation of of the Star Wars Holiday Special, and let the holiday season begin.

[Chuck Bryant]

Welcome to Stuff youf Should Know, a production of iHeartRadio.

[Josh Clark]

Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark with Charles W. Chuckers Bryant and Jerry Jerome Rowland.

[Chuck Bryant]

The Wookiee mother. Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Mala.

[Chuck Bryant]

That was the Wookiee wife. Oh, and mother. Yeah, sure.

[Josh Clark]

Chewbacca's mom is not with them any longer. She left. She was not about to appear in that.

[Chuck Bryant]

She went out the window. I'm excited about this. I have to say.

[Josh Clark]

We should say happy Star Wars Day.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. Today is December 17th. I have my opening night tickets.

[Josh Clark]

Do you really?

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure.

[Josh Clark]

Wow.

[Chuck Bryant]

You don't. I you into it?

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. I will definitely go see it in the theater, but I won't be there opening night.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure.

[Josh Clark]

I've gotten really adept at, like, ignoring spoilers, people talking about stuff, all that, like, so I can. I could conceivably see this movie a month after it comes out and it's all good and still going fresh.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

That's good. I'm an ostrich.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. You black yourself out.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

You go dark.

[Josh Clark]

I do. I make myself go to sleep. Basically.

[Chuck Bryant]

You go to the dark side.

[Josh Clark]

I've been there a while now.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, happy Star Wars Day, though. I'm sure That I think this pairs nicely with Christmas. Star Wars Day. It's all come together.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. We already missed Life Day, though, so happy belated Life Day, Chuck.

[Chuck Bryant]

Are they celebrating it this year?

[Josh Clark]

November 17th.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, but it's every three years.

[Josh Clark]

Mmm. Arcane.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, man.

[Josh Clark]

Nice job. Okay, so it's every three years. Started in 1978. Let's do the math, shall we?

[Chuck Bryant]

Quick math break. I believe that 2014 was the last Life Day.

[Josh Clark]

Man, we just missed it.

[Chuck Bryant]

And then again in 2017.

[Josh Clark]

Okay, so 2017, we'll celebrate life Day. We'll put on our red robes, our ultra long straight ironed wigs.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure.

[Josh Clark]

And we'll celebrate Life Day the way it was meant to be. Yes.

[Chuck Bryant]

And if you have no idea what we're talking about, we are talking about Life Day, which is a celebration that Wookiees in the Star wars universe have every three years.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. It's like their Christmas.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. They celebrate.

[Josh Clark]

Or their Hanukkah or their Kwanzaa, or their Tet.

[Chuck Bryant]

Supposedly. It's sort of like Earth Day too. They celebrate the diversity of their ecosystem and also remembrance of the dead. And they also give gifts.

[Josh Clark]

They're like the Finns, basically.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. It's a very interesting part of the Star wars canon.

[Josh Clark]

It is. And it's almost entirely made up, dashed off, you could possibly say, by George Lucas in the 70s. And it's the basis of what has become derided as, like, one of the worst things that ever happened to the Star wars galaxy.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, not only that, one of the worst things ever aired on television.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. In this galaxy.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. At first that sounds like hyperbole. Like, come on. It's because it was Star wars and we had high expectations, but it's really that bad?

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. The people who say that haven't seen even a second of it.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

However, I watched it when I was a kid. Then again this week.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

And you watched it twice this week.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, I watched it last night and this morning.

[Chuck Bryant]

There's something about it.

[Josh Clark]

It's mesmerizing.

[Chuck Bryant]

It really is. It's one of those things that you start watching it and you want to turn it off, but you want to see just how absurd it can get. Almost.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. And it starts absurd, it stays absurd in the middle, gets increasingly more absurd. It gets a little less absurd, finishes super absurd.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. It's just a train wreck in every single sense of the word, top to bottom.

[Josh Clark]

It's extraordinarily difficult to overstate how bad this is. And some people in researching this, you read about it, you Read descriptions of these things and it just can't possibly be gotten across until you see it. So luckily, as we will see, you can go onto YouTube and watch it and you may even enjoy this episode more if you pause. Go spend two hours watching this thing and then come back and laugh along with us.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, there's a great. Over the years, there have been many segments of it on YouTube from badly dubbed VHS tapes. But there is one really pretty good version of it in full brought to you by WHIO, Dayton, Ohio, Channel 7.

[Josh Clark]

Woo. Ohio.

[Chuck Bryant]

Because that flashes up on the screen periodically.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. Man, it is high quality.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, it looks good.

[Josh Clark]

It has to basically be the copy that the actual affiliate broadcast. Yeah, it's like that quality compared to the other stuff floating around on YouTube. It's clearly recorded on a 1978 VCR.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. Which were really expensive.

[Josh Clark]

Very expensive. I did some calculating on West Egg.

[Chuck Bryant]

Okay.

[Josh Clark]

So the average VCR went for about $1,000. They were brand new.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's amazing.

[Josh Clark]

$1,000 in 1978 money. So they're about $3,800 in 2014 money.

[Chuck Bryant]

Crazy.

[Josh Clark]

Luckily, there were some rich people out there recording this stuff. And the wealthy have saved us all again, yet again, as they always do.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yes. We need to shout out some articles that we use for this. There's a great article in Vanity Fair called the Han Solo Comedy Hour, exclamation point by Frank DiGiacomo. And then there's the Star Wars Holiday Special was the worst thing on television ever by someone we kind of know, Alex Pasternak from Motherboard. Yeah. Which is not Wired. It's Vice. Vice.

[Josh Clark]

Yes.

[Chuck Bryant]

We wrote a little bit for Motherboard back then. And we had a call with Alex.

[Josh Clark]

We're like old Motherboard vets. Yeah, basically.

[Chuck Bryant]

And wasn't there one more?

[Josh Clark]

There was another one, and I don't know who wrote this one.

[Chuck Bryant]

Chuck. Yeah, it's.

[Josh Clark]

The title's the Star Wars Holiday Special. George Lucas wants to smash every copy of with a sledgehammer.

[Chuck Bryant]

Which is a famous quote, supposedly at a convention by Lucas.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. Which is not correct.

[Chuck Bryant]

He didn't ever say that.

[Josh Clark]

No.

[Chuck Bryant]

Okay. That sounded like something that people made up.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. But if you go on, the Internet will quickly believe that he did, but apparently he didn't.

[Chuck Bryant]

I'm sure he felt that way, though.

[Josh Clark]

Clearly, because he did appear on Robot Chicken In, I think 2005 on the therapist's couch, talking about how much he hated the special. All right, so let's set the background, shall we? Shall we go back to 1977.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. Summer getting the old Wayback Machine.

[Josh Clark]

All right, let's do it.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right, here we are.

[Josh Clark]

There's Wooderson.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, I'm just a little six year old excited about Star Wars.

[Josh Clark]

I am. I've just turned one.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yes. You don't know what's up yet.

[Josh Clark]

Please forgive me if I urinate myself.

[Chuck Bryant]

No problem. Okay, so what has happened is Star wars has become a huge, huge hit. Seemingly out of nowhere, establishing George Lucas as one of the brilliant young minds in filmmaking. Even though it wasn't his first movie, it was his first huge, huge breakout hit.

[Josh Clark]

Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, talk about a breakout hit. Like, no one had ever seen anything like it before.

[Chuck Bryant]

No.

[Josh Clark]

2001 had come out in the late 60s.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

But it wasn't. It still isn't accessible to all audiences, you know. Yeah, it's a cerebral film.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. It's not an adventure movie like Star Wars.

[Josh Clark]

This is like basically swashbuckling on the screen, but, you know, in a galaxy far, far away. Star wars just changed everything. And it came on just like a. A hammer.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. A new hope, by the way.

[Josh Clark]

Yes.

[Chuck Bryant]

And I know we're going to get stuff wrong, nerds. So just go ahead and get your little fingers ready to email us, like.

[Josh Clark]

If it wasn't driven home that I'm not a nerd by the fact that I don't have opening night tickets or any tickets yet. Give me a break.

[Chuck Bryant]

Okay.

[Josh Clark]

And by proxy, Chuck, too. Okay, thank you. So it's hard to state how great Star wars was in everyone's mind. Bill Murray came out with that lounge singer Star wars thing. Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

It was everywhere.

[Josh Clark]

And if you just listen to the lyrics of it, it's just Bill Murray singing about how much Star wars is awesome. Right. So by the following year, George Lucas was. He wanted to figure out a way to keep audiences just engaged with the whole Star wars franchise so that he was just starting to build. But he knew that Empire Strikes Back was a couple more years out. So he. I think he was approached by some TV executives who said, have you considered doing some sort of TV special? They're all the rage right now. We have a graphic that's really awesome that we set aside just for TV specials here at cbs. Why don't you let us. Let's get together and do a Star wars special.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right. Producers Gary Smith and Dwight Hemion were working over at cbs and they said this is a great way to keep the spirit alive while you're making your other movie. Maybe move some more Toys.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. Which George Lucas got a cut of all the toys.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure. So it was right before Thanksgiving and he said there'd be a lot of people watching TV pre holiday season, or I guess in the holiday season.

[Josh Clark]

Well, the weekend before Thanksgiving, it's like everybody's shopping, sitting around with family, waiting to actually do stuff.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right.

[Josh Clark]

Perfect time to broadcast something on tv.

[Chuck Bryant]

So Lucas says, all right, let's do this. I don't have a ton of time, but how about this? I'll get a story together and then you can go hire a Whiz Bang team of veteran writers and producers and.

[Josh Clark]

Directors, whatever genre you think is appropriate. And those are the words that will haunt George Lucas to his grave.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So Lucas said, here's my idea. I want it to be based on Wookiees and I want it to take place on their home planet of Kizuk, or Wookie Planet C. Is that how you say it?

[Josh Clark]

Kizuk?

[Chuck Bryant]

That's how it's pronounced in the episode the Holiday Special, but it's also pronounced different ways.

[Josh Clark]

Other times I would have pronounced it Kashy E E. Spell it K A S H Y Y Y K. Yeah. Which I mean, I guess that sounds like Chewbacca's playing it.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure. Also called G5 623 Wookie Planet C or E Dion is a Mid Rim planet.

[Josh Clark]

Right. So the whole reason, apparently that George Lucas was interested in featuring the Wookiees was it is what we in show business call low hanging fruit. The reason why it was low hanging fruit was because they had just established the different scenes that would make the cut for Empire Strikes Back.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

And how did you pronounce it again?

[Chuck Bryant]

Kazook.

[Josh Clark]

Kazuk had not made the cut even prior to this. Apparently for a New Hope, George Lucas had whipped up a 40 page, what's known as the Wookiee Bible. It's like a 40 page supplement that's all about Kazuk and Wookiees and Chewbacca and his family and everything about Wookiedom. Right?

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right.

[Josh Clark]

So he's like, I've got this thing already established. I love Wookiees. They didn't make the cut. I'm a little sad about that. They're not going to. Kazuk is not going to show up in Empire Strikes Back. Let's build the entire special around Wookiees. It's basically the one demand me George Lucas has. That's it. I'll be totally hands off from this point on, which he kind of was. He totally was and it was actually this experience that apparently taught him to be the very hands on person that he is famous for being. It came out of this Christmas special.

[Chuck Bryant]

Absolutely. He was burned and had an iron grip after that on everything. So here's some, some of the folks behind it. Bruce Valanche, famous TV writer, you've probably seen him on Hollywood Squares.

[Josh Clark]

Wasn't he suspected of being Thomas Pynchon for a while?

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, I don't know.

[Josh Clark]

Or was Thomas Pinchone on Hollywood Squares?

[Chuck Bryant]

I have no idea.

[Josh Clark]

I may be confabulating some stuff. Confounding.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

There's some con of some sort going on.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sounds like it.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

So Valanch was hired as a writer. A guy named Lenny Rips was hired as a writer who has some great.

[Josh Clark]

Quotes in that Vanity Fair article.

[Chuck Bryant]

He does. His first quote was, we were really excited because this is Star Wars. How could it lose?

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, Famous last words.

[Chuck Bryant]

Who else was hired? There was a husband and wife team, the Welches, who are the parents of folk singer Gillian Welch, who I'm a big fan of and I had no idea that her parents, they were producers slash songwriters of the day. They were big on the variety show scene, which would turn out to be a really key cog in this whole experience.

[Josh Clark]

So I feel like right about here, Jerry should insert a needle coming off of a record. Sound effect.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Okay, thanks, Jerry. So, Chuck, you just said singer songwriters.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. What would that have to do with Star Wars?

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. Well, actually, in this Star wars holiday special, for those of you who hadn't seen it, there are musical numbers. They decided from the outset that there should be musical numbers. And the reason that they decided that there should be musical numbers is because the people who sold George Lucas, and at the time, it was the Star Wars Corporation was what it was called.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

On the idea of doing this TV special was that everyone would love a variety show.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, it was the 70s.

[Josh Clark]

Great idea. Let's do a variety show. The. The problem was this. Apparently George Lucas didn't watch enough tv. And he also overly trusted people who talked to him. Because by 1978, yes, variety shows had dominated television for over 10 years. But it had come to an end. It was getting stale.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, we're talking Carol Burnett show, one.

[Josh Clark]

Of my favorites, had just been canceled after 11 seasons. That's a big red flag.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sonny and Cher had just had its last season. I mean, what else? Like Hee Haw was. Hee Haw was still going on probably. They didn't know when to quit.

[Josh Clark]

I think Hee Haw still on Solid Gold had yet to come on and take up the mantle.

[Chuck Bryant]

That wasn't a variety show.

[Josh Clark]

It was a little bit. There was talking in between the songs.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, I remember the Mandrell Sisters show.

[Josh Clark]

I never watched that one. What was with that country chic thing that happened?

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, it was a big deal in the 70s. It's kind of happening again, I think.

[Josh Clark]

Oh, because of that dude? The guy who won all the CMA Awards?

[Chuck Bryant]

I don't know.

[Josh Clark]

He's like. He's. He came along. He's, like, actually country. His dad's, like, a coal miner for real. From Kentucky.

[Chuck Bryant]

I think I know who you mean. Chris.

[Josh Clark]

Some Face Chris. Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

He's.

[Chuck Bryant]

He is good.

[Josh Clark]

He's come along and been like, what are you guys doing?

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, there's a revival in, like, good country music again.

[Josh Clark]

That's great.

[Chuck Bryant]

Like, in the tradition of Merle Haggard and John McCash.

[Josh Clark]

And I guess it's probably where the country she came from, because there was actually good country going on.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, Johnny Cash had a variety show.

[Josh Clark]

Did he really?

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Clark]

I knew they did, like, a Sunday singing thing, like, out in Virginia.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, he had his own variety show. It was actually pretty good. There were some, like, really great performances.

[Josh Clark]

Do you know how many nerds are.

[Chuck Bryant]

Like, get back to Star Wars? I know. I'm so sorry. All right, so the variety show is dying, sort of. And so they figure, what a great time to take the biggest movie property on the planet and wedge it into the variety show milieu.

[Josh Clark]

I don't know if wedge is the right word. I think maybe nestle it in there and then start hitting it with the blunt edge of an axe until it mashes into that crevice, you know? That's right, because this is the time when Fantasy island had just started. Mork and Mindy was about to change things. Charlie's Angels was getting huge. Basically, television as we knew it from 1980 to whenever the real world came along. Just escapist television is what they called. It was starting, and it was the hip new thing. So basically, if they had turned Han Solo and Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker into maybe sexy detectives, it might have gone over even better. But they went the other way. They decided to latch onto this extraordinarily stale genre of television, and they hired the best in the business. Like, there was. There was. There was a quote from, I think, Lenny Ripps, who was saying, like, we had literally a dream team. Yeah, a variety show dream team. And everybody was good, but there were probably no bad welders. On the Titanic, either.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's a great quote. Yeah. The guy they hired to direct it initially was a dude named David Acomba, and he had made his name for welcome to the Fillmore East. It was a concert documentary with Van Morrison and the Birds in 1971. And he actually was at USC Film School the same time as Lucas, even though they didn't know each other. And he only ended up directing about three segments of the thing.

[Josh Clark]

Before he quit.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yep. Before he walked off. Some say he was actually let go, but we'll get to him in a minute. And who replaced him? Okay, as we get along down this gross road.

[Josh Clark]

Well, let's take a little break because I'm overly excited.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right.

[Josh Clark]

Okay.

[Chuck Bryant]

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[Josh Clark]

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[Chuck Bryant]

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[Josh Clark]

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[Chuck Bryant]

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[Josh Clark]

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[Chuck Bryant]

Hey, friends, if you're like me, you don't want just fast Internet service. You need it. And believe it or not, there are plenty of places in America where people don't have access.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, and that's why this story is so important. AT&T recently completed an AT&T fiber buildout to more than 20,000 customer locations in Oldham County, Kentucky. So the entire community now has access to high speed connectivity.

[Chuck Bryant]

Now you know what high speed Internet can do for a regular person. But how about a farmer? Suddenly it's easier to sell cattle, buy feed, research fixes for broken machinery. You get the picture. And you know what? I think that's fascinating. It doesn't matter what you do for a living these days. You need to be connected.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. And now the big part. This isn't just a Kentucky story. AT&T is on track to cover more than 30 million locations with fiber by the end of 2025. So those opportunities Oldham county got connected to, well, ATT is bringing them to millions of people. And that's good news for everybody.

[Chuck Bryant]

Connecting changes everything. AT&T learning stuff with Joshua and Sharks.

[Josh Clark]

Stuff you should know.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right, so we've established most of the main players. We'll get to a few more. We should point out that Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, Peter.

[Josh Clark]

Mayhew, they had no grounds to refuse to be on this.

[Chuck Bryant]

Basically, yeah, pretty much. They were not huge, huge stars yet. They could throw their weight around and say, this is terrible and I'm not doing it.

[Josh Clark]

They were big overnight because of Star wars for sure. But they weren't to the adoring public. Sure, back at the studio, they could still be bossed around, and this was the result of it. And you can tell also just from watching the actual special, like, Harrison Ford is not happy to be there at any point.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, no.

[Josh Clark]

Princess Leia is clearly on drugs.

[Chuck Bryant]

Was she on drugs at this point?

[Josh Clark]

If you watch it, she's on drugs. Especially the ending scene. Mark Hamill, it looks like he's happy to be there. Actually, he was fine, but apparently he said, no, I'm not doing a musical number. And if you watch his part, wedging a musical number in there would have been even more painful. Sure. But everybody who was part of the actual Star wars franchise that wasn't wearing like a full body costume was like, I really wish I wasn't here. And you can tell.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, yeah. In fact, in the opening credit Sequence, they're showing the picture, the faces of the people, and you see Harrison Ford as if he's flying the Millennium Falcon. And you can. You can just hear the guy off screen going, now look at the camera and just give a nod. Just look at the camera and give a nod. And he finally. You can tell he's pissed off. And he looks up at the camera and just sort of smirks.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. And points at the camera like, okay, I'm looking at the camera. And then goes back to what he's doing. Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

[Chuck Bryant]

I felt bad for him so early on. Valanche and others kind of.

[Josh Clark]

Did you feel bad for him, though, really? I mean, like, come on, it's Harrison Ford. It's Han Solo. He has to go do this for, like, five days.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, I felt terrible for him.

[Josh Clark]

I think it's hilarious that they had to do this, especially now.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, early on, Valanche and others knew that they may be in trouble because they decided not to subtitle any of the Wookiee dialogue.

[Josh Clark]

Right.

[Chuck Bryant]

And they literally started after a brief opening scene setting it up. Here's the basic plot is Han Solo is trying to get Chewbacca back to Kizuk in time for Life Day so he can celebrate with his family.

[Josh Clark]

That's the basis of the entire two hours.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's the basis of the entire two hours. They encounter a space battle and they are delayed. And the next two hours are kind of. What's going on while the delay is.

[Josh Clark]

Happening Back on Kazuk.

[Chuck Bryant]

Back on Kazuk.

[Josh Clark]

Because you hear like, okay, well, Han Solo and Chewbacca evading the Imperial Guard and all that stuff for two hours. I would watch that.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure.

[Josh Clark]

I would too.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

That's not what they show.

[Chuck Bryant]

Killing time at the Wookiee household.

[Josh Clark]

That is what they show.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

That's what they do. It's people hanging out, waiting for Chewbacca, worrying about him and then killing time while they wait for him to come back.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. Literally.

[Josh Clark]

So hold on. So you say there's a setup, right?

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, that's the initial setup.

[Josh Clark]

And then Chuck, that's followed by this.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, it's followed by literally 10 minutes. 10 solid minutes of incomprehensible Wookie speak.

[Josh Clark]

So let's join it for a second, shall we? Yeah, let's all enjoy it. And again, you said 10 minutes, and you're not exaggerating, you're not being hyperbolic. You can time it. It's 10 minutes of Wookiees talking to each other with no subtitles. Fortunately, I couldn't follow it at first.

[Chuck Bryant]

Like, I didn't even know who it was. I thought it might have been Chewbacca's mom and dad. Oh, yeah, that's little brother. And I don't find out until later when Mark Camel shows up via Skype call and says he really explains everything that had just happened. Like, you're Chewbacca's father, Itchy, you're Chewbacca's son, Lumpy. Lumpy, yeah. And you are Chewbacca's wife.

[Josh Clark]

Oh, Mala.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Josh Clark]

So before everybody starts, like, freaking out, we know that that's actually their nicknames. Their real names are. His father is a tichik cook. A Titchik cook.

[Chuck Bryant]

It's really hard to pronounce.

[Josh Clark]

Mulatto Buck is his wife, and his son is Lumpo Warump, but as named by Lucas. But yeah, but Lucas also named him Lumpy. Itchy and Mala.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

So they're all back there wringing their hands, trying to figure out ways to pass the time until they get word from Chewbacca that he's made it to. What is it? Kachuk.

[Chuck Bryant]

Kazuk.

[Josh Clark]

Kazuk.

[Chuck Bryant]

Just like ketchup.

[Josh Clark]

Ketchup. Or catsup, if you're fancy. But Chewbacca is having trouble getting back to Kachuk because there's Kazuk. Because there's a blockade by the Empire and they're looking for rebels. Specifically Chewbacca, who, I didn't realize this. He's the most famous Wookiee of all. Did you know that? Yeah, of course I didn't know that.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, I mean, he's the only one that really appears in the movies.

[Josh Clark]

I mean, to that point, we're seeing, like, you know, these people's view of the universe. What about back on Kazook? Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

He might have just been a fly by night Wookiee, right? Yeah, but not the case. Very famous Wookie.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. And he really loved to soak in his fame.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right, so he realizes there's a problem. Valanche. He goes to Lucas and is like, I don't know, man. This is your world. But it may not be the strongest thing to do to set this in Wookie land and have all this comprehensible dialogue. And he says he was met with a glacial stare.

[Josh Clark]

And then he put it a little differently than that.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, he said glacial stare.

[Josh Clark]

He did. The glacial stare that he got was for this quote. He said, these people just talk in what sounds like fat people having an orgasm. He goes, if you want, you can set up A tape recorder in my bedroom, and I'll do all of the Foleying for it.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, he's a large guy.

[Josh Clark]

He is. So that's what got the glacial stare. But Valanch later said that from this, there was one development meeting that Lucas attended, and it was, here's the Wookiee Bible, Tell me what you got. And Valanch said he and the other writers and producers and director were just kind of throwing ideas. And George Lucas would either say, like, no, that doesn't work. Give him a glacial stare, or say, yes, that's exactly it. Yes, let's make this a variety show.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And there was a little bit of background there. The cantina players in the band had appeared on other variety shows at that point.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

And I think it went over fairly well, just as a short segment. Unlike the Richard Pryor variety show or Donnie Marie. Yeah, man, there were a lot of.

[Josh Clark]

Variety shows, but that's what I'm saying. That was television. That's what you did. Like the Brady's. The show had its course and then it became a variety show. It was just. Everybody loved variety shows. Yeah. By this time, though, everybody was sick of variety shows.

[Chuck Bryant]

Right.

[Josh Clark]

And so it really was a terrible choice.

[Chuck Bryant]

In fact, they even hired a couple of writers from Shields and Yarnell, which.

[Josh Clark]

I hadn't heard of. Had you?

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, yeah. I watched it. It was creepy. This mime couple who had their own variety show, and they figured these two will be great because they are used to working without words.

[Josh Clark]

Right. And so there is a certain logic to the variety show.

[Chuck Bryant]

It's not just that all over the place.

[Josh Clark]

It's not just that var shows were popular at the time. Somebody was like, well, Wookiees, you don't understand what they're saying. So this is all going to be very physical. So these people who did. What is it? Shields and Yarnell. Yeah, that's a perfect choice. That makes complete sense. You can see this whole process of leading up to the point where it was produced and shot and everything. A series of like, oh, we have this problem. Well, here's a fix. But that leads to another problem. Well, we'll fix it with this. And no one stepping back and being like, all we've done is create a series of problems that are going to come together and make one extraordinarily large problem that will become legendary. No one did that. And so the whole thing was made.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right. And it eventually airs on November 17.

[Josh Clark]

1978, a Friday at 8pm Eastern Time.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right. And According to Nielsen ratings, it attracted 13 million viewers. Lost the second hour just in the.

[Josh Clark]

U.S. it aired in six or seven countries total.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, but no one cares about that.

[Josh Clark]

I guess not, because none of those are on the Internet.

[Chuck Bryant]

You know, it finished second to the Love Boat in the second or, I'm sorry, from eight to nine. And in the next hour actually finished behind part two of a miniseries about Pearl harbor starring Angie Dickinson. So it didn't even win their respective hours.

[Josh Clark]

No. 13 million. That's not bad. The thing is, apparently, if you look at the Nielsen ratings graphics for the first hour.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, we know about that graph.

[Josh Clark]

It's okay. Yeah, we do. And then after a very important part, which we'll talk about soon, it just drops off at the end of the first hour. And that actually probably made the executives at CBS cringe for a number of reasons. Number one is this special was originally supposed to just be an hour, but so many advertisers wanted to sign on that they extended it to two hours.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, you can tell.

[Josh Clark]

And it shines through. You can totally tell that this thing was never supposed to. I think an hour might have been stretching it, to tell you the truth. Oh, yeah, it's 30 minutes of content. 40 if you're generous, an hour. Meh. And then two hours. It becomes one of the worst things that was ever put on television.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right, well, let's take a break and then we'll talk a little bit more about the actual. Don't want to call it content. But it is content in the strictest definition. Sure, right after this. Attention parents and grandparents. Are you searching for the perfect gift for your kids this holiday season? Well, give the gift of adventure that will last all year long. A guardian bike. The easiest, safest and quickest bikes for kids to learn on. Kids are learning to ride a bike in just one day. No training wheels needed.

[Josh Clark]

Very nice. But what sets Guardian bikes apart? Well, they're designed especially for stability. They're low to the ground, with a wide wheelbase and ultra lightweight frames. They offer superior control and balance. And this particular design gives young riders the ability to learn in again, just one day without any tears or frustration.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right. They're assembled here in the United States of America. And I gotta say, Guardian Bikes was kind enough to send my daughter a guardian bike. And she loves this thing. It's her first big girl bike. I put it together with great ease and this thing is a great bike.

[Josh Clark]

So join the hundreds of thousands of happy fish families, including Chuck's, by getting a guardian bike. Today their holiday sales have begun offering the biggest deal of the year. You can save up to 33% on bikes, no discount code needed. Plus get free shipping and a free bike lock and pump with your first purchase. After signing up for their newsletter, just visit guardianbikes.com and Happy Riding.

[Chuck Bryant]

Hey, order up. Small Business Saturday is right around the corner and so is that shop you've been meaning to check out on November 30th. Support your local community by shopping small on Small Business Saturday. Founded by American Express, brought to you.

[Josh Clark]

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[Chuck Bryant]

Hey everybody. We want to talk to you about our old friends at Squarespace, which is probably the best way you can make your own website, especially if you're running a business, because Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, onboarding is fast and simple. You can get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus your customers are going to have more ways to pay with all sorts of different payment methods, from Klarna to ACH Direct Deposit to Apple Pay, Clear Pay in the uk. The list just goes on.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right. Squarespace also makes it really easy to sell access to content on the website that you build, like online courses, blogs, videos and memberships.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, you can earn recurring revenue by gating your content behind a paywall. You just simply set the price and choose whether to charge a one time fee or a subscription for access and you walk away whistling and happiness.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right. So just go to squarespace.com stuff and when you're ready to launch, use our offer code stuff to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Squarespace.

[Josh Clark]

Learning stuff with Joshua and Charles. Stuff you should know.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right, so the show itself, we've given you the main plot line, which again is that Chewie is trying to get back to his home planet to celebrate Life Day with his family. Right, that's it.

[Josh Clark]

And again, we almost barely see Chewie.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

The rest is his family on Kazook waiting for him to come back for Life Day.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So some of the various things they did there were guest stars There was Harvey Corman from the Carol Burnett Show.

[Josh Clark]

Okay.

[Chuck Bryant]

One of my all time favorites.

[Josh Clark]

Him or Carol Burnett Show?

[Chuck Bryant]

Both.

[Josh Clark]

He's great.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

He actually, if you watch what he's doing, you're like, this guy's a comedy genius.

[Chuck Bryant]

Apparently he too was like the only one on set that was bringing levity. He was joking around and kind of kept spirits up.

[Josh Clark]

Good for him.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's what I say. And he had three.

[Josh Clark]

Three different parts.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. He played. Well, I don't even know the names actually. We could look them up. But he played a Julia Childlike cook. There's an actual cooking segment, a long one. A very long cooking segment where Chewbacca's wife makes bantha stew to kill some time. To kill some time.

[Josh Clark]

Because they're waiting on her planet and in our living room.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So Harvey Corman is in drag as a four armed Julia Childlike TV chef.

[Josh Clark]

Right. I think it's Gormanda.

[Chuck Bryant]

Is her name Gormanda? That makes total sense.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

He also plays. There's this one weird bit where Chewbacca's son tries to figure out a way to trick the stormtroopers that the Empire had come. And kind of. Because the blockade raided the house and other properties. So he tries to trick them by, I think, rigging a comlink to speak in a different voice. So he has to watch the instruction manual.

[Josh Clark]

He watches an instruction video which was.

[Chuck Bryant]

Harvey Keitel as a robot.

[Josh Clark]

Oh, it would have been wonderful. A big Harvey Keitel.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, I did say Harvey Keitel.

[Josh Clark]

Harvey Corman.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, man.

[Josh Clark]

Harvey Keitel murdered someone in the middle of the instruction.

[Chuck Bryant]

Harvey Korman. And then the final role he had was as a bar patron in the cantina that drinks. He has a hole in the top of his head like a volcano where he pours his drinks in. That's how he drinks.

[Josh Clark]

And he loves Bea Arthur.

[Chuck Bryant]

Did we mention Bea Arthur was in it?

[Josh Clark]

Bea Arthur is not only in it, Chuck. She sings a song.

[Chuck Bryant]

She does. She is the unbeknownst to everyone. She manages or maybe owns the cantina.

[Josh Clark]

She's the owner.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

What's the Mos? What? Mos Def Cantina.

[Chuck Bryant]

No, Mos Def is a rapper.

[Josh Clark]

Oh, yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

I think you mean Mos Eisley.

[Josh Clark]

Yes, yes, that cantina. She's the owner. Bea Arthur is the owner. Bea Arthur of the Golden Girls. But in this case, Bea Arthur of Maude. Because as one of the people who wrote one of the articles we based this on points out, she's just basically playing Maude as the owner of the cantina.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And her song comes because they basically say there's a lockdown, so you gotta call last call at your bar. So she calls last call by singing a song to everyone.

[Josh Clark]

Right. And again, we can't possibly have the script lead anywhere else but Chewbacca's house while his family waits for it. So all this takes place as part of a public service announcement, basically broadcast by the Empire about how immoral life on Tatooine is. So let's go see what's going on in the Maz Eisley Cantina as it's being shut down for curfew.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. All right. This is incomprehensible. But it goes on. So they're in it. There's also Art Carney.

[Josh Clark]

Yes.

[Chuck Bryant]

Of the Honeymooners.

[Josh Clark]

He's probably the star of the whole thing. Really? He has the most lines. I would say the most comprehensible line.

[Chuck Bryant]

Right.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

So he plays a traitor, a human traitor that has recently been with Han Solo and Chewie and actually gets to Kazuk and says they're on the way. It's all good.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. A trader, not traitor.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, traders and trades humans for, you know, money.

[Josh Clark]

No, he. He sells goods.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, a trader.

[Josh Clark]

He doesn't trade humans.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, he's in the human trade.

[Josh Clark]

No, he isn't. Really? Yeah, he trades humans like he sells humans.

[Chuck Bryant]

I looked it up in the Star wars encyclopedia. It said that he was in the human trade.

[Josh Clark]

Huh. So in this Christmas special, apparently they sanitized his background because he's basically just selling, like, gadgets and novelties and stuff like that to the Wookiees and the Empire who were occupying the area.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yes. He comes bearing gifts. Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Because he's a friend of Chewbacca's family.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So he comes bearing gifts. One of the gifts he gives is a sort of like a little digital insert to a. Oh, I guess you would call it a virtual reality hair dryer. Hair dryer. Like a beauty shop hair dryer. He gives it to Grandpa Itchy. Grandpa Itchy sits under this hairdryer, pops in this digital cassette, and it can only be described as soft core porn.

[Josh Clark]

Apparently the writers who were interviewed for this said that was totally the intent. They were trying to get what amounted to soft core porn that would pass the censors.

[Chuck Bryant]

That's right.

[Josh Clark]

So it's all. You can't even say it's innuendo. It's too obvious and overt for innuendo. Instead, it's just. It's just. It's just gross. It's really gross. Diane Carroll, great singer. Yes, she is a Vegas staple. Shows up and starts basically tantalizing Grandpa Itchy, who. Again, this is Chewbacca's elderly father, who now engages in some sort of. Well, he's watching virtual reality pornography now. And this is a pretty lengthy segment in and of itself.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, yeah. And she literally says to him, like, now I can see you're really excited.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, it's pretty rough to watch.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So then you've got another musical number because also.

[Josh Clark]

Again, he shudders. Yeah, it's really strange.

[Chuck Bryant]

All right, so there's also a. I know it seems like we're jumping around, but it's so mind blowing. No, we're not.

[Josh Clark]

Like, this is pretty much like blow for blow.

[Chuck Bryant]

Actually, I forgot earlier on in the special, there's. One of my favorite sequences is when Grandpa Itchy goes over to Lumpy and basically sets up. Remember the hologram chess board that they played in A New Hope? Yeah. Basically kind of sets that up and says, here, just play this. He pushes the button, which is clearly a 1970s cassette recorder. And another, like. It's like a Cirque du Soleil acid trip gymnast routine happens in front of the kids eyes.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

And again, this all just. It's not like it shows a snippet. They show the entire segments, like 5, 6, 10 minutes long of all of these things.

[Josh Clark]

So you would think, okay, they've gone to this hologram. Well, a couple of times. Why not go to it again? Well, they do. They do to kill more time. While the Imperial Guard is ransacking their house, Art Carney apparently, I guess, is trying to get one of the Imperial Guard. The leader, I think, or one of.

[Chuck Bryant]

The leaders, who looks like somebody from Spaceballs, by the way.

[Josh Clark]

Very much so. And the writer of the Vanity Fair article, by the way, said this. This is so incomprehensible. The special is George Lucas didn't even have the Schwartz with him at the time. So anyway, Art Carney's distracting this Imperial leader while they're ransacking the Wookiees house, Chewbacca's house, with a hologram. And this hologram, instead of being an acrobat or Diane Carroll or any kind of porn or anything like that, is Jefferson Starship. And they decide that they're going to play Light the Sky on Fire, which apparently is about UFOs.

[Chuck Bryant]

It's a little music video, basically.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, it's the predecessor to, like, Video Kill the Radio Star. You can tell. And again, it is the whole lengthy song. Yeah, the whole thing. So every time that somebody's like, we need to escape mentally from what's going on here in our house. Let's go into the video world. It's not just. And they don't cut back and forth. No, it's okay. Here's five minutes of Jefferson Starship performing this song.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And even the Jefferson Starship guys were like, yeah, it was sort of a weird trip. Like we didn't get it, but we did it.

[Josh Clark]

Right. They gave us some money and some cocaine.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, probably.

[Josh Clark]

So we said.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Chuck. I think, though, yet another segment like this is actually widely regarded as the high point of the whole thing.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, sure. Agreed.

[Josh Clark]

So there is a cartoon actually.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. That Lumpy watches.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, Lumpy's like the Imperial Guard is still ransacking my house. I think I'll entertain myself by watching a cartoon on my little. I don't know what it. I guess it was an iPad. And he watches this cartoon. And it's actually remarkable for a number of reasons. It's the best part of the whole.

[Chuck Bryant]

Special generally agreed upon as such, but not just us.

[Josh Clark]

And it introduces Boba Fett. It's the first time Boba Fett ever makes an appearance in the Star wars universe.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. It's actually not a bad. And you can't find it in the one version I told you to watch. They removed it for copyright. But you can watch a separate version.

[Josh Clark]

Right? You can find it on its own.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And it's very much reminiscent of like the cartoon style of the day. Like a He man or something.

[Josh Clark]

Sure. Even. It's even a little more artsy than that.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. But it does have a plot that you can follow that makes sense as a Star wars thing. And it introduces Boba Fett like you said. And it's actually not bad.

[Josh Clark]

It's like Luke and R2 and C3PO.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

And they're like. They crash on a planet or something.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And Han and Chewy are in it. And it's the first time we see. In Darth Vader, it's the first time we see Boba Fett and that he is. That he is just doing whatever he can do for money.

[Josh Clark]

Right.

[Chuck Bryant]

Like, Luke trusts him at first. C3PO is like, you sure you should trust him this quick? And he's like, oh, 3PO, you and your non trusting ways. And then it turns out he's selling them out to the dark side.

[Josh Clark]

So it's basically Boba Fett is an allegory for George Lucas himself. So the cartoon comes and goes. And that was the thing that came at about the end of the first hour mark. And after that, everybody just turned off their television sets.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, I don't remember.

[Josh Clark]

Did you watch this when it came on?

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, I remember watching it, but I don't remember much about it. Like, if I made it through at all. I mean, it was. I was seven and it was on till 10. So I probably didn't make it through it all.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. Plus, you're probably disturbed.

[Chuck Bryant]

Who knows? I just remember that. I'll have to ask my brother. He might have a memory of this.

[Josh Clark]

I'll bet he does. I'm sure he met everybody afterward or something like that. You know, it has a picture.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, he was 10 at that point. So cynicism had, you know, become a thing in his life probably by then. Sure. Didn't that. When cynicism kicks in, I could see.

[Josh Clark]

Scott holding out to 14. 15.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, maybe so.

[Josh Clark]

So, Chuck, the whole thing finally does end. And actually, there's a guy, his name's Nathan Rabin. He writes over at the A.V. club. He had a great quote. He basically said that one of the great redeeming values of this special is that it does eventually end.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. You know what the first part of the quote is? I'm not convinced the special wasn't ultimately written and directed by a sentient bag of cocaine.

[Josh Clark]

And go read his review of the Star wars holiday special because he goes on to describe exactly what that must have been like. The development meeting where the bag of cocaine is pacing back and forth talking about what should happen. That's what it feels like, but it doesn't. And it ends even more. It takes this bizarre two hours and wraps it up in just a nice, bizarre bow.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So what happens is eventually, Han Solo. Should we say spoiler alert? Eventually, Han Solo and Chewie make it to the planet. They park on the far side of the planet because they know the Imperial.

[Josh Clark]

Forces are there and the exercise will do Chewie good.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So they have to hike over there. They eventually make it back home. They find the stormtroopers at their house. Their tree hut.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

Which way? The paintings that set this up, I don't think we mentioned. I don't even call them matte paintings. It looks like someone painted something on the wall and they just put a camera in front of it.

[Josh Clark]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

So they get back and Chewbacca, Han Solo hides around the corner. Chewbacca steps in front of his son to protect him. Han Solo jumps out and the stormtrooper trips over a pile of logs and.

[Josh Clark]

Falls over the Balcony and dies in a holiday special.

[Chuck Bryant]

So they wouldn't even Han. Not only could he not shoot first with Greedo, but they couldn't even have him, like, wrestle the Stormtrooper and throw him off. He trips over a log, Right?

[Josh Clark]

And Han Solo has his hands thrown up like, wasn't me.

[Chuck Bryant]

It might as well have been a banana peel, you know?

[Josh Clark]

But again, this is basically produced by Vaudevillians starring Vaudevillians. Why not have the one Death take place from basically what amounts to somebody slipping on a banana peel?

[Chuck Bryant]

Exactly.

[Josh Clark]

It's a perfect way to end it. So that guy basically represents the end of the Imperial threat for the rest of Life Day. And we then see Life Day being celebrated, which is celebrated by lots of Wookiees assembling in what looks like a giant Olin Mills portrait. And all of them are wearing red robes.

[Chuck Bryant]

Sure.

[Josh Clark]

And I know I'm up talking, and it's because my mind is still having trouble wrapping around this. And then Princess Leia comes out with C3PO. Is Mark Hamill there?

[Chuck Bryant]

The whole gang's there, if I'm not mistaken.

[Josh Clark]

Okay. The whole gang's there. And then they all gather around to hear a great quote from Princess Leia, which we will read verbatim.

[Chuck Bryant]

This holiday is yours. But we all share with you the hope that this day brings us closer to freedom and to harmony and to peace. No matter how different we appear, we're all the same in our struggle against the powers of evil and darkness. I hope that this day will always be a day of joy in which we can reconfirm our dedication and our courage and more than anything else, our love for one another. This is the promise of the Tree of Life Q song.

[Josh Clark]

Right. And we should also point out the Tree of Life has never been mentioned up to this point.

[Chuck Bryant]

I had no idea what that was.

[Josh Clark]

It just makes a sudden appearance at the end. And when you said Q song. By Q song, you mean Princess Leia starts singing?

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And apparently that was one of the big contingencies on Carrie Fisher being involved. She was going through a phase where she was like, I kind of like singing.

[Josh Clark]

Bruce Vilanch calls it her Joni Mitchell period.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. And she somehow convinced them to let her sing as Princess Leia.

[Josh Clark]

And she does. And again, I've said that she looks like she's on drugs. This is the point where she really does look like she's on drugs. And it's not just me. Other writers who've written reviews of this. It's really obvious that she possibly smoked A decent amount of pot before she shot this scene. But she sings. Okay, it's fine. It's just the fact that Princess Leia's singing. And actually, Bruce Volanch had a really great quote too. He says that she very much wanted to show this side of her talent. And there was general dismay because this was not what we wanted Princess Leia to be doing. Yeah, she did it anyway. So the whole thing ends with her singing this song about Life day.

[Chuck Bryant]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Which is set loosely to the John Williams Star wars theme.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. So along the way, the director, original director, quit. A new director, Steve Binder, was hired to finish the job and bring it in.

[Josh Clark]

And he did.

[Chuck Bryant]

Over the original $1 million budget, of course. Always. He did bring it in. And at this point, George Lucas had. He was working on Empire Strikes Back. He didn't know what was going on. He wasn't around for the shoot.

[Josh Clark]

No, it wasn't until it aired, I think, that he actually saw it.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yes. And it was a travesty, obviously, if you haven't noticed that by now. Critics hated it. Star wars fans really hated it.

[Josh Clark]

Everybody hated the people who were in it.

[Chuck Bryant]

Hated Lucas hated it.

[Josh Clark]

Even Harvey Korman secretly hated it.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, even Harvey Keitel hated it. Actually, he loved it. But Lucas has been asked over the years about it a lot, and he doesn't talk about it much. But in 2005, and I don't buy this for a second, he says it was an interview. He said the special from 1978 really didn't have much to do with us. You know, that part is true. I can't remember what network it was even on, but it was a thing that they did. That's a lie. There's no way he doesn't know that was cbs.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

We kind of just let them do it. I believe that it was done by. I can't even remember who the group was, but they were Variety TV guys. I'm sure he remembers a few of them. We let them use the characters and stuff, and that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but you learn from those experiences.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

I think they even use some of the footage from the movie.

[Josh Clark]

At the end, it looks like some.

[Chuck Bryant]

Of the space stuff.

[Josh Clark]

It's like a highlight reel of the gang.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, and during the. It looked like some of the. They had some insert shots of, like, Imperial cruisers and TIE Fighters and stuff.

[Josh Clark]

That you remember when Chewbacca, like, leans back and puts his hands behind his head. Yeah, yeah, that's in there. It's like A just a highlight reel from the movie saying, like, if you like this, go see the movie.

[Chuck Bryant]

Well, and also, that means it doesn't match the look of the rest of it at all.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, that's true.

[Chuck Bryant]

It's just sort of inserted.

[Josh Clark]

They tried. They definitely tried. And George Lucas is totally full of it. Because in 1987, he told Starlog magazine that the Christmas special would be out on videocassette very soon.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yes.

[Josh Clark]

And in 2007, two years after that quote you just read where he's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Basically, he apparently considered releasing the Christmas special as a bonus on the DVDs of the first three.

[Chuck Bryant]

Right. But did not.

[Josh Clark]

Did.

[Chuck Bryant]

And apparently Carrie Fisher told Lucas that if you want me to do DVD extras.

[Josh Clark]

Commentary.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, commentary. Then I want a clean, original copy of the holiday special.

[Josh Clark]

Yes.

[Chuck Bryant]

So why go ahead? So I can play at parties when I want people to leave. It's pretty great.

[Josh Clark]

It is so. And there is one of those clean copies just floating around out there, so you can watch this in its entirety. Some of it, like the cartoon was removed due to copyright infringement and that kind of stuff. But as the case with the rest of the Internet, you can just go find it elsewhere and piece it together. There's also the original ads that aired in Baltimore that are just fascinating.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, Those are always fun GM ads.

[Josh Clark]

Where one of the guys who's in quality control, he says, did you watch it?

[Chuck Bryant]

I don't think I saw that one.

[Josh Clark]

He goes, we really care about these cars. That's no jive man on a GM ad. And he's like, dead serious.

[Chuck Bryant]

They were trying to be hip.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. It's pretty good stuff.

[Chuck Bryant]

Here's my final thought on it. I love it. It does not taint my Star wars experience or my love for the franchise. And I'm glad it is out there because it's a. It's a fun little stain that shouldn't be taken too seriously. I think it adds to it, actually, because it's campy and awful.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah.

[Chuck Bryant]

And I don't know, somehow that enriches the rest of it.

[Josh Clark]

I'm with you.

[Chuck Bryant]

You like it?

[Josh Clark]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I watched it twice. I wouldn't have watched it a second. I wouldn't have made it through the first time. Let me take that back. I'm a pro.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

So I would have made it through the first time. I wouldn't have watched it a second time if I wasn't. There wasn't something about it. And I figured Out. I think the thing that I like the most about it is Lumpy, Chewbacca's son, played by an actress named Patti Maloney, who, frankly, is hands down the best actor in the entire thing. She like her responses and everything is just awesome.

[Chuck Bryant]

I think my favorite parts are. Well, there's a great Wilhelm scream.

[Josh Clark]

Yes, I noticed that.

[Chuck Bryant]

Stormtrooper trips over the lodge.

[Josh Clark]

Jerry would not have noticed it.

[Chuck Bryant]

And then there's a part where all the Wookie dialogue you can't understand. But there's clearly one part where Itchy and Lumpy are having an exchange where Lumpy, you can make it out. Goes, I love you.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed that as well.

[Chuck Bryant]

But it's covered up. But someone was like, we have to have at least one exchange where you sort of know what they're saying.

[Josh Clark]

Sure. Or they were like, I think she said, I love you. Should we have him redo it? And the director's like, no, I want to go. And Chuck, there's one other thing that I figured out from watching this.

[Chuck Bryant]

What's that?

[Josh Clark]

It's not readily apparent. The whole thing is made all the more odd. And that there's situation after situation after situation where we, as normal audiences, were trained to expect a laugh track, but there's not a laugh track. Had there been a laugh track, it might have been less bizarre. But the fact that it's missing just makes your. It agitates the mind. So it's this whole additional element that it is weird.

[Chuck Bryant]

I never thought about that. There's just weird moments of silence all throughout it. Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Like when Art Carney's doing his thing.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah. Telling jokes.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. Okay. I agree with you, Chuck. Don't take things too seriously. I think that's the great lesson in this.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

And in the lesson of Life Day.

[Chuck Bryant]

It is. And in 2007, Riftrax, the great mystery science theater, 3,000 guys, Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy provided audio commentary for the full version of the special. So try and go grab that if you can as well.

[Josh Clark]

Oh, you can. It's on their site because it's great. I think it's like eight bucks.

[Chuck Bryant]

And those guys are awesome. And they are.

[Josh Clark]

At least. I think Corbitt listens to us, so.

[Chuck Bryant]

Hey, Corbitt, you got anything else?

[Josh Clark]

No, no. I think we did this. There's some good stuff. Go read the Vanity Fair article. Han Solo Comedy Hour. There's a book called How Star Wars Conquered the Universe that has a very interesting chapter about this. That's where we found it asserted that George Lucas never said that he would smash this thing with a sledgehammer.

[Chuck Bryant]

Right.

[Josh Clark]

And there's also an entire website dedicated to it, starwarsholidayspecial.com yeah, and if you want to know more about the Star wars holiday special, we have a ton of Star wars stuff on how stuff works, by the way.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, we have cool sort of fun articles about the Death Star and Lightsabers.

[Josh Clark]

Videos with Holly Fry from stuff you missed in history class.

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah, she knows her stuff.

[Josh Clark]

She does. So you can just type Star wars in the search [e-mail] and it'll bring up some cool stuff for you. Since I said search bar, it's time for listener mail.

[Chuck Bryant]

Hey, guys, just finished listening to the Voynich manuscript podcast. Found it super interesting, especially the theories on its definition or origin. I know Josh mentioned Chuck theory. It being drug induced is somewhat surprising or even unlikely given the language in the manuscript follows linguistic laws only founded in the past 100 years. But if you think about it, it's tough to stray away from familiar structures, especially for something like language. I think back to when I was younger and friends invented their own languages or even in writing a song or poetry. Creativity can sometimes be limited by what we know, so just thought I'd contribute that to the conversation.

[Josh Clark]

Nice. Thanks.

[Chuck Bryant]

Big thanks for all you guys do. I found the podcast after moving to San Diego in the last few years for some noise around my apartment. So basically we were blocking out noise. We do that, which I love, and then as a way to get through traffic on my commute home from work. You guys are far more interesting and enjoyable than television and YouTube videos. I'm sure I've listened to hundreds and will continue to listen to hundreds more. Keep on keeping on. That is from Amy J. Moffitt.

[Josh Clark]

Thanks a lot, Amy in San Diego. Does that mean like place of the whales in German or something like that?

[Chuck Bryant]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. If you want to get in touch with us, you can tweet to us@syskpodcast. You can join us on facebook.com stuffyou should know. You can send us an email the stuffpodcastowstuffworks.com and as always, join us at our home on the Web StuffYou Should Know.com.

[Chuck Bryant]

Stuff youf Should Know is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts, my heart radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

[Josh Clark]

Planning to entertain in your home this holiday season.

[Chuck Bryant]

Make sure you stock up on all your household cleaning essentials before guests arrive.

[Josh Clark]

Now through December 3rd.

[Chuck Bryant]

Save when you shop in store or online on items like Swiffer pet, Swiffer Wetjet, Mr. Clean Brooms, Clorox Bathroom Cleaner, Lysol All Purpose Cleaner, Signature Select Glass Cleaner and Signature Select Drain Clog remover.

[Josh Clark]

Offer ends December 3rd.

[Chuck Bryant]

Restrictions apply.

[Josh Clark]

Promotions may vary.

[Chuck Bryant]

Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Once upon a time, Amazon Music met audiobooks, and listeners everywhere rejoiced. Oh yeah, because now they could listen to one audiobook title a month from an enormous library of popular audiobook titles, including Romantasy, Autobiographies, True Crime and more. Suddenly, listeners didn't mind sitting in traffic or even missing their flight. Amazon Music Unlimited now includes Audible Download, the Amazon Music app now to start listening. Terms apply Whether you're ordering wings for the game, whipping up a seven layer dip or ordering pizza, there's something about football that makes you want to eat.

[Josh Clark]

And this football season, Uber Eats has.

[Chuck Bryant]

The best deals on game day food no matter what you're craving, from two for one Pizza. To buy one, get one Wings. Uber Eats will be dropping new deals each week all season long. Uber Eats official on demand delivery partner of the NFL. Order now. Terms and conditions apply. See app for details.