Short Stuff: Can You Not Have A Name?

Summary

Stuff You Should Know: Short Stuff – Can You Not Have A Name?

Release Date: June 4, 2025
Hosts: Josh Clark & Chuck Bryant
Production: iHeartPodcasts

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1. Introduction to Naming Laws

[00:38]
Josh Clark opens the episode by introducing the topic of naming, highlighting its significance and the complexities surrounding it. He recalls previous discussions about unconventional names, such as the one-word name "Detroit," setting the stage for a deeper exploration into the rules and regulations of naming.

Josh Clark:
"This is so in our wheelhouse, man. We've been talking about this stuff since basically day one of Stuff You Should Know."
(00:46)

Jerry:
"If you need a name legally, it's going to be a big pain."
(02:04)

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2. Legal Requirements and Naming Laws

a. State-Specific Naming Laws

[01:35]
Josh and Jerry delve into the legal framework governing names in the United States, emphasizing that naming laws vary by state. They note that while some states are lenient, allowing parents to choose virtually any name, others impose restrictions to prevent problematic names.

Josh Clark:
"In the United States, at least, the laws about what you can or can't name your kid are by the states, and there's at least a dozen states that don't have any laws."
(03:28)

b. Prohibited Names

[03:52]
The hosts discuss specific prohibitions, such as:

• Numbers:
  "You can't name your kid a number, but you could spell out the number."
  (03:52)

• Vulgar and Offensive Words:
  "You can't use vulgar words, racial slurs, or names that could be used to commit fraud."
  (04:34)

• Brand and Trademarked Names:
  "Names like Nutella are also prohibited."
  (04:43)

Jerry:
"Nutella, but it probably is Nutella."
(04:50)

c. International Naming Restrictions

[05:23]
Expanding beyond the U.S., Josh highlights stricter naming laws in countries like Portugal, Iceland, and Denmark. In Portugal, for example, parents must choose from an approved list of names that align with gender norms, with authorities enforcing these rules rigorously.

Josh Clark:
"Portugal is very strict. Not only do they have some serious naming laws, there's a list of approved names that you have to select from."
(05:23)

---

3. Naming Procedures at Birth

a. Registration Process

[08:00]
The conversation shifts to the practical aspects of naming a child immediately after birth. Josh cites Kristen Conger, who points out that while it's not illegal to leave a child unnamed temporarily, the lack of a name complicates essential processes like obtaining a driver's license or social security number.

Josh Clark:
"If you do leave the hospital unnamed, they might name it something like Baby Girl Smith."
(09:05)

b. Stress and Decision-Making

[09:12]
Jerry emphasizes the emotional strain on parents, especially in unexpected or unplanned births, highlighting the need for time to decide on a suitable name.

Jerry:
"If you don't have it done beforehand, you don't want to just be thinking of it like right after you give birth."
(09:28)

c. Supplemental Name Reports

[10:15]
Josh explains that in states like California, parents have a window (up to a year) to officially finalize their child's name through a supplemental report with the health department.

Josh Clark:
"In California, you have to fill out a supplemental name report with the health department and fill that in."
(10:15)

d. United Nations' Stance

[10:48]
Introducing an international perspective, Josh references the United Nations' Convention on the Rights of the Child, which asserts that every child has the right to a name from birth.

Josh Clark:
"The United Nations has a pretty stern stance on kids names. In the Convention on the Rights of the Child, they said that all children have a right from birth to a name."
(10:48)

---

4. The Evolution and Significance of Middle Names

a. Historical Context

[11:42]
Josh transitions to discussing middle names, tracing their origins back to the Middle Ages. Initially, middle names were often saint names or familial surnames, serving as a form of personalization beyond the first name.

Josh Clark:
"The modern idea of a middle name started in the Middle Ages, it seems like, but it was pretty specific back then."
(11:42)

b. Modern Usage and Variations

[12:07]
Over time, the usage of middle names evolved to include a broader range of choices, moving away from strictly religious or familial names. This shift was partly influenced by administrative needs, such as military enlistment and computer documentation requiring consistent naming formats.

Josh Clark:
"During World War I, the US government officially recognized the existence of middle names when the enlistment forms for the military asked for a middle name."
(12:18)

c. Cultural Differences

[13:29]
Jerry shares an anecdote about his friend from England who has multiple middle names, illustrating cultural differences in naming conventions between the U.S. and the UK.

Jerry:
"My friend Justin from England has three names: Justin Neil Alexander Stewart."
(13:29)

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5. Insights and Conclusions

• Importance of a Name:
  Josh and Jerry underscore that a name is fundamental to personal identity and essential for navigating societal systems.

• Balancing Creativity and Legality:
  While creativity in naming is celebrated, legal frameworks ensure that names remain functional within societal structures.

• Cultural and International Perspectives:
  Naming conventions reflect cultural values and vary significantly across different regions, with some countries enforcing strict regulations.

• Middle Names as Identity Layers:
  Middle names add depth to personal identity and have evolved to accommodate diverse naming preferences.

Notable Quotes:

• Jerry:
  "Any kind of racial slur you can't use, or if it's a name like, intentionally used to commit fraud, like to get out of a debt or something like that. You can't change your name for that reason."
  (04:55)

• Josh Clark:
  "Portugal's hardcore about naming."
  (05:57)

• Jerry:
  "If you don't enter that, they would insert NMI, no middle initial. Because not everyone has a middle name."
  (12:33)

---

Conclusion

This episode of Stuff You Should Know provides an enlightening exploration into the intricacies of naming—covering legal requirements, cultural variations, and the personal significance of names. Josh and Jerry adeptly navigate the topic, offering listeners a comprehensive understanding of why names matter and the regulations that govern them.

Whether you're expecting a child, considering a name change, or simply curious about the evolution of naming practices, this episode sheds light on the essential role that names play in our identities and societal interactions.

Transcript

[Josh Clark]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Chuck Bryant]

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[Josh Clark]

Hey, and welcome to the Short Stuff. I'm Josh and there's Chuck. And Jerry's here too, setting the tempo. And this is stuff you should know. Short Stuff.

[Jerry]

That's right. I guess you could have said there's M and I'm. And there's.

[Josh Clark]

I wish I had now. Maybe we should retake the whole thing.

[Jerry]

Nah, we're too sorry now, a dumb joke, because what we're talking about is naming. And specifically sort of like the rules and laws about naming somebody and having a name. And if you need a name legally.

[Josh Clark]

This is so in our wheelhouse, man. We've been talking about this stuff since basically day one of stuff you should know.

[Jerry]

Yeah. This seemed familiar enough to where I thought we might have done it.

[Josh Clark]

No, we haven't done this particularly, but we've talked about, I think in some of our videos maybe about people who gave their kids weird names like. I will never forget. Yeah. Detroit. Oh, yeah. You remember.

[Jerry]

I forgot about that. Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

But what we're talking about today is.

[Jerry]

Which was a name, by the way.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. Somebody tried to name their kid. Yeah. Detroit. One word and there might have been an exclamation point. I don't remember.

[Jerry]

You gotta have one.

[Josh Clark]

The best name or at least attempted name I've ever heard.

[Jerry]

Or maybe an interrobang.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, yeah. So we're talking about something a little more specific today, though. We're talking about, can you live without. Is it something you could possibly do? And the short answer is no. The bigger answer is even more interesting than just being told no.

[Jerry]

Yeah. I mean, it's not illegal to not have a name, but try getting through life without a name, it's going to be a big pain. So, like getting. Yeah, getting a job, getting a driver's license. Just almost anything that you do these days might require some form of identification. And if you don't have a name, it's gonna make it challenging. Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

I mean, like, you just could not make it through life, at least in the United States and most other countries, probably just about any country, because you just, like, no one can say you're you. That's how we. That's how we do it. That's the first way we do it, is with a name. I think when you're named, even before you're named, even before you get your Social Security number, you have your name. That's how you're identified. That's how they keep up with you, who's who at the hospital, even.

[Jerry]

Yeah. You can change your name. And, you know, depending on your state, there's different ways you can go about that. You can just start using a different name. And even without making it, like, the official legal way, like on formal documents, even Emily changed her spelling of her name, and it was just unofficial for many, many years until she finally had it officially changed, which is interesting.

[Josh Clark]

Nice.

[Jerry]

Yeah. She went from Y to ie.

[Josh Clark]

I always loved the ie on the end of her name. I thought that was a nice touch. I didn't realize it was her own choosing.

[Jerry]

So maybe like a teenager thing, she.

[Josh Clark]

Keeps getting better and better, you know?

[Jerry]

I think so, too.

[Josh Clark]

Well, she's in her 50s, so there are some rules, I should say. Not everybody has rules. Usually in the United States, at least, the laws about what you can or can't name your kid are. It's by the states, and there's at least a dozen states that don't have any laws. They're basically like, you can name your kid whatever you want.

[Jerry]

Okay.

[Josh Clark]

But plenty of other states do have laws. One of the big ones that you'll find, not just among the states that have laws about what you can name your kid, but also internationally, is that you can't name your kid a number. Although there is a workaround. You could spell out that number. So you can't do the number three, but you could name your kid T, H, R, E, E. Right.

[Jerry]

Or you could name your kid Plan 9, but you'd have to spell out 9.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. Would you do it all one word or two words?

[Jerry]

Plan nine. Bryant. I think that'd be pretty fun as one word.

[Josh Clark]

That's a great name, man.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

What else? You can't use vulgar words. Yeah, makes sense.

[Jerry]

Can't be. Can't be Jesus Christ or what? Adolf Hitler's on the list too, right?

[Josh Clark]

Yep. Same with Santa Claus in some places. Nutella is another one.

[Jerry]

Nutella.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, that's right. Is it Nutella? I always say Nutella I've always said.

[Jerry]

Nutella, but it probably is Nutella.

[Josh Clark]

I don't know who's to say who's right in this topsy turvy world?

[Jerry]

Any kind of racial slur you can't use, or if it's a name like, intentionally used to commit fraud, like to get out of a debt or something like that. You can't change your name for that reason.

[Josh Clark]

But, I mean, would you be dumb enough to go and change your name and tell, like, the.

[Jerry]

Probably not.

[Josh Clark]

The people at the Vital records, like, yeah, I'm doing this because I owe a lot of money.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Emojis are out pretty much across the board.

[Jerry]

Oh, good.

[Josh Clark]

And that's the United States. And you're like, well, that's kind of strict. If you do think that that's kind of strict. But around the world it can be even stricter. Like, they're like, portugal is very strict. Not only do they have some serious naming laws, there's a list of approved names that you have to select from. I think Iceland and Denmark also have similar lists. And in Portugal, it has to be what they consider gender appropriate.

[Jerry]

Oh, interesting. Still.

[Josh Clark]

And they will kick your door down if you try anything different.

[Jerry]

Wow. Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

Portugal's hardcore about naming.

[Jerry]

Maybe we should take a break and we'll talk a little bit more about naming that baby right after this.

[Josh Clark]

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[Jerry]

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[Josh Clark]

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[Jerry]

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[Josh Clark]

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[Jerry]

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[Josh Clark]

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[Jerry]

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[Josh Clark]

No, that's a pretty common misconception, at least according to Kristen Conger, who, hats off, wrote this one, originally from hectic.

[Jerry]

Works, former colleague Kristin Conger and host and founder of Unladylike, a great podcast.

[Josh Clark]

That's right. So Conger points something out that I thought was pretty smart, that if you do leave the hospital when your baby unnamed, because that's gotta be a lot of pressure.

[Jerry]

Yeah. If you don't have it done beforehand, you don't want to just be thinking of it like right after you give birth.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, yes, exactly. Especially if you weren't aware you're pregnant and this was a surprise birth. You need a little time, right?

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

The hospital's still going to be like, we need to be able to keep up with that baby so that baby goes home with you. So they might name it something like Baby Girl Smith, if your name is Jane Smith. But there was a study that was conducted, probably the most obvious study I've ever heard, that was like, if you actually use something a little more specific, like say, this is Jane Smith's daughter. You would name it Jane's Girl Smith.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

You're probably going to have fewer mix ups at the hospital, which is just alarming that anybody even needs to study that, because that even happens.

[Jerry]

Yeah, for sure. If you do wait and you haven't decided in the hospital and you decide, like, let's say the state you live in lets you, like, wait a few months or whatever. It depends on that state. Again, on the procedure for adding that in. Like in California is the one Kristen mentions. You have to fill out a supplemental name report with the health department and fill that in and say, all right, now we have our baby's name. And they're like, great, now you can get your birth certificate.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah. What do you think? Do you think it's a good name? It's a pretty good name, huh?

[Jerry]

Pretty good name. And I think you have a year in California. So again, it varies.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. I did not realize this, but the United nations has a pretty stern stance on kids names. In particular, in the Convention on the Rights of a Child, they said that all children have a right from birth to a name.

[Jerry]

Hmm.

[Josh Clark]

There's an asterisk next to that. They said if you ever find yourself in a highly stressful bird box type situation, you can just name your kid boy or girl. But other than that, that kid deserves a name.

[Jerry]

I didn't see that that was the Sandra Bullock thing. That.

[Josh Clark]

It's excellent. I've seen it.

[Jerry]

Caught the world by storm during COVID right?

[Josh Clark]

Yes. It's really good.

[Jerry]

Okay, I haven't seen it.

[Josh Clark]

You should check it out.

[Jerry]

All right, I'll dust that one off.

[Josh Clark]

Yes. So, Chuck, let's move on to a little extra, what we call a lagniappe. If we wanted to sound really obnoxious on middle names.

[Jerry]

Yeah, middle names haven't always been a thing. I think the modern idea of a middle name started in the Middle Ages, it seems like, but it was pretty specific back then. They would just give the first name on whatever they wanted to personalize it. But then the middle name would be a saint's name and then a surname. But then that eventually fell out of favor over time to where non religious middle names became a thing.

[Josh Clark]

Yeah, a lot of times it was the mother's maiden name, her family name. It could just be like, the parents were like, I really like McGillicuddy. So that's your middle name.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

And it just kind of picked up by, I think World War I was the first time where the US government at least officially recognized the existence of middle names when the enlistment forms for the military asked for a middle name.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Josh Clark]

And within, I don't know, a couple of decades, a handful of decades, as computers started to be used for documentation of individuals, like tracking people, Big Brother type stuff, they were programmed for three names. First, middle, last. And what would happen, Chuck, if you did not have a middle name?

[Jerry]

If you don't enter that, they would insert nmi, no middle initial. Because not everyone has a middle name. And some people have many. I know that. My friend Justin from England, he is. He has three. Two middle names. So is he a bearing or something? Three names and a surname? No, it's just. I think it's more common in the UK to do something like that. So he's Justin Neil Alexander Stewart. So two middle names, one first name and his surname.

[Josh Clark]

Very nice.

[Jerry]

And his Social Security number is.

[Josh Clark]

You got anything else?

[Jerry]

I got nothing else.

[Josh Clark]

I don't either. I guess that means short stuff is out.

[Chuck Bryant]

Stuff youf Should Know is a production of iHeartRadio.

[Jerry]

For more podcasts, my heart radio, visit.

[Chuck Bryant]

The iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever.

[Jerry]

You listen to your favorite show.