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Josh Clark
Guaranteed Human.
Joel
Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back prices, they're still high, and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress.
Matt
That's right, yeah. Each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on, and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Chuck Bryant
Hey, everybody. We're hitting the road again starting in January 2026, picking up again in April 2026. And eventually Canada will tell you year dates, too.
Josh Clark
That's right. We're going to do at least three legs. And the first leg is starting out in Denver, Colorado at the paramount theater on January 27th. We're going to go back to our beloved Seattle at the Paramount Theater there on the 28th, and then finally back at SketchFest on the 29th at the Sidney Goldstein Theater.
Chuck Bryant
Yep. And then April 16th, 17th and 18th, we're going to be in Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, and Akron, Ohio. And if you're not keeping up with all this or taking notes, don't worry. You can get all the info you need and buy tickets@stuffyou should know.com, click on the tour button and thank us later.
Josh Clark
That's right. We can't wait to see everybody again out there on the road.
iHeartRadio Announcer
What if mind control is real?
Chuck Bryant
If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?
iHeartRadio Announcer
Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?
Chuck Bryant
When you look at your car, you're.
Matt
Going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings.
iHeartRadio Announcer
Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you?
Josh Clark
I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.
iHeartRadio Announcer
Can you get someone to join your cult?
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
NLP was used on me to access.
iHeartRadio Announcer
My subconscious mind games. A new podcast, exploring nlp, AKA Neuro Linguistic Programming. Is it a self help miracle, a shady hypnosis scam, or both? Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Welcome to Stuff you should know, a production of iHeartradio.
Chuck Bryant
Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh. And there's Chuck. And Jerry's here, too, just cracking us up. And this is Stuff youf.
Josh Clark
That's right. Kind of a rare detailed war battle episode.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, we don't do a lot of war stuff.
Josh Clark
Yeah. A little bit here and there.
Chuck Bryant
A little here or there. Yeah. But usually it's like some crazy commando story, like.
Josh Clark
Right.
Chuck Bryant
You know, and usually where the Nazis are getting beat up. Because we love that narrative.
Josh Clark
Yeah. We usually don't like, say, hey, let's dive into some specific battles of the Crimean War.
Chuck Bryant
Right. But for all of you fans of the Crimean War who didn't look at the title, you're like, oh, I know what this one's about. Of course. It's about the Charge of the Light Brigade. And if you were an English student. Sorry, an English student, and you studied poetry, you're probably familiar with the poem the Charge of the Light Brigade by Alfred Lord Tennyson. I think you're supposed to say the comma out loud from what I understand.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Like the colon.
Chuck Bryant
But that was a real deal that really happened. And it's a really complicated, complex story that's also extremely fascinating and totally nuts at the end.
Josh Clark
Yeah. So I guess we should probably set up a little bit about just what the Crimean War was.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Clark
So the Crimean War was over the course of a few years from 1853-56. It was in Europe, fought between Russia and Britain, France and Turkey, which was part of the Ottoman Empire. Turkey was, that is. And it was known for a lot of things. There were some interesting people that came out of this, ended up being super famous and a lot of lives lost, but notably, most of the half a million lives lost, like maybe as many as 75% died from disease and things like that instead of on the battlefield.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. Which is terrible. That was a reason that two now famous women showed up to help. One was Florence Nightingale, who's very well known as the lady with the lamp. She showed up and started using like evidence based treatments. And apparently the mortality rate at these horrible field hospitals went from 41% when she showed up down to 2% at the end of the war. It's pretty impressive. And then there's a less well known woman named Mary Seacole who was born in Jamaica. She was mixed race and she appealed to be sent to the Crimean Front, like Florence Nightingale was. Was turned down. So she went herself and showed up and made huge, huge gains in saving lives there as well.
Josh Clark
Yeah. And it was the first big war covered by the press, notably. Tolstoy got his start there, you know, writing about the dispatches from the front. Basically.
Chuck Bryant
Right.
Josh Clark
It's also weirdly where the Balaklava comes from. What we in America Might call a.
Chuck Bryant
Ski mask or a scary mask or.
Josh Clark
A scary mask or a cat burglar mask. It comes from here. So lots of sort of little weird things. And obviously, like you mentioned the Charge of the Light Brigade, the very famous poem.
Chuck Bryant
Right.
Josh Clark
But the whole thing started over a religious argument, basically, in the Ottoman Empire, wherein for several years the French Catholics were battling it out with the Russian Orthodox Church over who controlled the holy sites, the Christian holy sites within the Ottoman Empire, which really ticked off Tsar Nicholas I. Yeah.
Chuck Bryant
So he also, we should say the Ottoman Empire was very powerful for a while, but we're joining them at the twilight, maybe even the end of their empire, which I think broke up in World War I. This is about 60 years before that. So the. The Ottoman Empire was not in a very good position to defend itself against Tsar Nicholas I, who's like, oh, yeah, well, I'm going to invade part of your Ottoman Empire. I'm going to invade what's in modern day Romania, Moldavia and Wallachia, which is where Dracula is from. And he invaded. And again, the Ottoman Empire, I think they were known as the Sick man of Europe. There was not a lot they can do about it. So France and Britain came to their aid, and not for any necessarily altruistic reason, but because they were not happy with the idea of Russian expanding itself into Europe and in particular, getting a foothold in the Mediterranean. And when they set up shop in Wallachia and Moldavia, they were on the Danube, which would take them straight to the Mediterranean. So France and Britain became concerned and they're like, we'll back you up, Ottoman Empire.
Josh Clark
Yeah, it's. Boy, the more things change, the more they say the same, huh?
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, it's true, man.
Josh Clark
It's crazy when you see this stuff that happened back in the 1850s, and you can draw sort of a straight line to things that happen today. And Russian expansion, it's just. It's really interesting stuff.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah.
Josh Clark
But all that to say is that what is now, like you said, modern day Romania. He now occupied France and Britain, got their hackles up, they sent warships to the Black Sea in 1853, declared war on Russia in 1854. And the first big, you know, this could have ended at all. The first big major defeat against that English and French alliance was at Odessa, there in the Black Sea. And Czar Nicholas withdrew, basically, that land he had occupied. He pulled back out in July of 1854, and that could have been the end of it. But the Frenchies and the Brits said, you know what now we want to punish them for their aggression, so we're going to go on the offensive. And that turned out to be a bit of a boondoggle.
Chuck Bryant
It did. Nations do that kind of thing, though, especially when they soundly defeat an expansionist nation. They often want to make an example. Be like, don't try that again. This is not like, completely out of left field. But, yeah, the way it turned out was not great. And they chose to invade Russia by landing on the Crimean Peninsula. And they chose Crimea for a couple of reasons. One, it's where Russia's naval ships were stationed that they would use to. To take over the Mediterranean if they could get a foothold there. And then two, they couldn't make it to mainland Russia because Germany was neutral at the time. They were the Austro Prussian, I guess, Kingdom. They're like, you can't send your troops through here to get to Russia. They're like, okay, we'll go attack Crimea. And then there was one other thing about Crimea. Chuck it. It offered a way to attack navally, which is what the Brits favored. And it also offered at the same time, a way to attack on land, which is what the French preferred. And so surf and turf. Exactly. It was the surf and turf strategy. And yeah, the Crimean Peninsula served all of those purposes.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Which was mainland Ukraine, by the way. So I guess the first battle, or not the first battle, I guess this would be the second battle we're talking about. And the one that really sets up the story of the Charge of the Light Brigade is the siege of. You know, in California, there's a town called Sebastopol with a B. Yeah, my aunt lives there in Sebastopol. It's quite nice. It is lovely, wooded Northern California. Yes, I've been there myself.
Chuck Bryant
Okay.
Josh Clark
But this is with a V. And I don't know if it's probably not pronounced Sevastopol, it's probably Sevastopol would be my guess.
Chuck Bryant
Oh, you know what? I've never heard anybody say it like that, but I'll bet you're right. I'll bet a bunch of Ukrainians just stood up and went, yeah, I wonder.
Josh Clark
If there's any connection there, too. I was going to look that up.
Chuck Bryant
Surely there's got to be one heck of a coincidence.
Josh Clark
I agree.
Chuck Bryant
Somebody just put a bunch of letters together. They're like, sebastopol.
Josh Clark
Also the name of a good solo album by Jay Farrar of Uncle Tupelo and Sunbolt.
Chuck Bryant
Is Sebastopol nice with a B or a V?
Josh Clark
With a B.
Chuck Bryant
Okay, wait, did you say B or V? Because they rhyme.
Josh Clark
B as in. Boy, do we need to get back to the topic at.
Chuck Bryant
And V as in voi.
Josh Clark
All right, it's September 1854. We've got a little over 60,000 troops total from this alliance, 30,000 from the French, about 26,000 British troops, and about 4,500 Turks. They land on the coast of Crimea and start to hike inland for the turf section 30 miles in. And that port city of Sevastopol, Stopol, is where they're headed.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. So I think that's where the Russians had that navy that they would invade the Mediterranean with. And the Russian commander was a guy named Prince Alexander Sergeyevich Menshikov.
Josh Clark
Great name. Russians have great names.
Chuck Bryant
Right. There was, I think, an initial skirmish after they landed at Kalameda Bay, but it didn't really count as the first battle. The first battle was the battle of the Alma river. And that's where Menshikov decided, like, okay, this is where we're going to start to take on this alliance force. And it was a pretty serious battle. I think both sides lost many thousands of men, but the Brits and the French were not turned back. The Russians retreated instead.
Josh Clark
That's right. And this is when a really interesting decision comes about. They were worried that there were more Russian armies coming in to that port city to help defend. Defend their navy, I guess. And so they said, all right, here's what we're going to do. We're going to do the old hook and ladder, and we're going to take a wide path around the city so we can attack from the south. What they didn't know was that at that time, it was very poorly defended there. So if they would have. If they would have just kept charging forward, it probably would have been over pretty quickly. But since they took the long way around, which they thought was a decent strategy, that gave the Russians the chance to refortify, basically, and stock up with men and supplies.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. And they couldn't have known that. That. That the city wasn't very well defended, but everybody had fled. And apparently they sunk a bunch of ships in the harbor to keep the British Navy from being able to land there.
Josh Clark
Yeah, but isn't part of war trying to know that stuff?
Chuck Bryant
Yes. And ironically, you would use the Light Brigade for that kind of stuff, to scout and spy and report back.
Josh Clark
Okay, so when you said they couldn't have known, what you really meant was they didn't know because they didn't do it. Good.
Chuck Bryant
That's yes. Okay, you're right. So for the siege of Sevastopol, not just the Russians set up and refortified the city. The British basically regrouped, and they settled at a port town called Balaclava, and it's about 10 miles south of Sevastopol. And like you said, that's where the headgear comes from, or the name of it, because it actually doesn't just come from that town. It comes from this actual battle that happened there. So there's a road between Balaclava and Sevastopol, and they are. Because they're connected. Both sides need that for supplies, right?
Josh Clark
Yeah.
Chuck Bryant
So it's a really strategically important road. And before the Brits could try to take the road or secure it, the Russians decided to. And they made a really risky move. They took some of their troops who were battling, because by this time, the Brits and the French were now laying siege to Sevastopol, and the Russians were fighting them off. And the Russians took some of their troops and moved them around the siegers and put them squarely between the alliance forces sieging Sevastopol and the alliance forces at Balaclava on the road to try to take the road. It was a risky move, but it was also what they had to do to kind of cut the Brits off. The sieging Brits off from supplies. 10 miles south of Balaclava.
Josh Clark
That's right. So they attacked these artillery positions of the Allied on the hills outside of Balaclava. It turned into a pretty. Pretty chaotic battle scene there. And the Russians did pretty good at first. They had a lot of cavalry. They had a pretty substantial infantry there. And they captured these gun positions, these Turkish and British gun positions on that hilltop. And this is a place called Causeway Heights. They tried next to take another town called Kadikoy, and that was basically the last stop before you got to Balaclava. Um, but this is where the Scots come in. The. The legendary 93rd Sutherland Highlanders. Wearing kilts, with swords and rifles and no underwear. Yeah. I mean, that's the most, you know, intimidating part of all of this.
Chuck Bryant
Sure.
Josh Clark
Uh, they were led by Major General Sir Colin Campbell, and he had a pretty good idea to defeat these guys. And it worked.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. Normally the Highlanders would form a square of four rows. Right. And you're able to defend your flank a lot easier. There's less men. Instead, Campbell said, we're going to form two lines. And they were like, this is mind blowing. So there were more men exposed, but they were able to shoot further across, right?
Josh Clark
Yeah. Just more bullets, basically.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, exactly. And it turned out that the. The Highlanders were successful in attacking the Russian cavalry, or, I'm sorry, the Highlanders were standing the ground to defend Katakoi. And it was the Russian cavalry that was rushing at them. The Highlanders fired on them. There was a volley of musket or bullets, I guess, and the Russians were like, oh, no. And they turned left, and when they turned left, they exposed their flank and the Highlanders fired again and really just messed the Russian cavalry up and just caused disarray and they had to retreat. So it was a really good stand. So much so that, like, these guys, like you said, they're legendary now and in part because of this battle. And I guess I should probably say. I think I'm. Am I saying cavalry? Cavalry.
Josh Clark
I think you're probably accidentally saying Calvary, which I do all the time, too. But that's where Jesus was crucified, Right?
Chuck Bryant
Right. So cavalry is the horseback troops.
Josh Clark
They should really have named those things. Two completely different sounding words.
Chuck Bryant
Exactly.
Josh Clark
It's very confusing. And the only reason I even know is because there's a lot of old hymns, church hymns that I sang that. That you sing about Calvary.
Chuck Bryant
Oh, yeah, I know all about that.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Did you sing hymns?
Chuck Bryant
Not about Calvary. The Catholics don't pay attention to that for some reason.
Josh Clark
No, I just didn't know how much Catholics sang in church.
Chuck Bryant
Oh, dude, I don't even know if you can call it singing. Unless it's kind of like a reformist 70s hippie church. It's chanting.
Josh Clark
Okay.
Chuck Bryant
And it scares the bejesus out of non Catholics who, like, go with a friend to a Catholic Mass. It freaks people out.
Josh Clark
I got you. Because in Baptist churches, it was just the big bombastic sort of, you know, hymnal songs.
Chuck Bryant
Sure, sure.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Maybe more fun, but I don't know.
Chuck Bryant
Then chanting.
Josh Clark
Yeah, but I never chanted.
Chuck Bryant
Well, you should try it sometime.
Josh Clark
All right, I'll give it a shot. Where do we leave the Scots? The Highlanders won. And did you say that that's where we got the term the thin red?
Chuck Bryant
No, I didn't mention that.
Josh Clark
Yeah. So, you know, we talked about this being one of the first major wars where there was journalism going on. And there was a guy named William Howard Russell. Was he Irish?
Chuck Bryant
I think. Yeah, he was an Irish correspondent.
Josh Clark
Yeah. So he was writing from the front lines. And in the Times, he described the line of men that, you know, those two lines of men in their brick red coats as the thin. A thin red streak. Tipped with steel. And that eventually morphed into the Thin Red Line, which is another weird sort of thing that came out of this war.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. And another really hardcore war movie, too. Good one or. No, I'm thinking of Big Red One.
Josh Clark
No, no, no. The Thin Red Line was Terrence Malick. They're both war movies.
Chuck Bryant
Okay. But I was thinking of the. Is it Big Red One?
Josh Clark
Yeah, that was good too. Mark Hamill and the guy from Revenge of the Nerds.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, I think Mark Hamill gets his testicles blown off by a grenade.
Josh Clark
Somebody does. I think I said before that was the first R rated movie I saw in a theater. And. Yeah. Was it Mark Hamill's testicles?
Chuck Bryant
I believe it was, but I could just be making that part up.
Josh Clark
I gotcha.
Chuck Bryant
Hey, so one more thing before we go to break, because I can sense that coming on. This is the first war, as far as I know, where some soldiers, wives, traveled with them to the front and basically, like, set up a household there. It was a very bizarre setup, and they were very unhappy there because it was not a fun place to be.
Josh Clark
Yeah.
Chuck Bryant
But they were there to support their husbands. A lot of them were.
Josh Clark
Wow, man. Crimean War. Who knew?
Chuck Bryant
Yeah.
Josh Clark
All right, well, we'll be right back, right?
Chuck Bryant
Yes.
Josh Clark
All right.
Matt
New year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt.
Joel
And I'm Joel.
Matt
We are from the how to Money podcast. And every week we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there.
Joel
If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to how to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
What if mind control is real?
Chuck Bryant
If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?
Chuck Bryant
When you look at your car, you're.
Matt
Gonna become overwhelmed with such good feelings.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you?
Josh Clark
I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Can you get someone to join your cult?
Chuck Bryant
NLP was used on me to access my subconscious.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Nlp, AKA Neuro Linguistic programming, is a blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology. Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain.
Chuck Bryant
It's about engineering consciousness.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Mind Games is the story of nlp, its crazy cast of disciples, and the fake doctor who invented it at a New Age commune and sold it to guys in of spite. He stood trial for murder and got acquitted. The biggest mind game of all, NLP might actually work.
iHeartRadio Announcer
This is wild.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Chuck Bryant
Hey, everybody. We're hitting the road again starting in January 2026, picking up again in April 2026, and eventually Canada will tell you year dates.
Josh Clark
That's right. We're going to do at least three legs, and the first leg is starting out in Denver, Colorado at the Paramount Theater on January 27th. We're going to go back to our beloved Seattle at the Paramount Theater there on the 28th, and then finally back at SketchFest on the 29th at the Sidney Goldstein Theater.
Chuck Bryant
Yep. And then April 16th, 17th and 18th, we're going to be in Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, and Akron, Ohio. And if you're not keeping up with all this or taking notes to. But don't worry, you can get all the info you need and buy tickets@stuffyou should know.com, click on the tour button and thank us later.
Josh Clark
That's right. We can't wait to see everybody again out there on the road.
Chuck Bryant
Learning stuff with Joshua Shar. Stuff you should know. All right, so I feel like we've kind of been dancing around this whole Light Brigade thing and for a long time, until I started researching this for this episode, I just assumed light as in like a bright light or something like that.
Josh Clark
Oh, interesting. Okay.
Chuck Bryant
It makes way more sense now that what you're talking about is a Light Brigade. Right.
Josh Clark
Like weight wise. Sort of.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. Rather than as opposed to a heavy brigade, both of which are part of the cavalry that the Brits and the French used at the time.
Josh Clark
Yeah. And when I said weight wise, I meant, you know, lighter horses. Faster horses, presumably. Lighter men on those horses. I imagine it was just a bunch of people that were fleet of foot and horses that were fleet of hoof. Their job, if you were a Light Brigade, was to ride very quickly across the battlefield, to move places with great speed, sometimes to deliver battle orders with great speed. The Heavy Brigade is exactly what you would think. Bigger horses, bigger men, close combat, breaking through enemy lines, kind of kicking butt and taking names.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. And so, like, when the Heavy Brigade broke up, the enemy line is like the enemy was retreating. You'd send in the Light Brigade, who would chase the enemy down and slash them with their swords and stuff, right?
Josh Clark
Yeah. They probably had better hair in the Light Brigade.
Chuck Bryant
They probably did, you know, like the.
Josh Clark
Handsome, like, all right, now all the rough stuff's done. Get us in here.
Chuck Bryant
Fleet horses with their Habsburg chins.
Josh Clark
Oh, totally.
Chuck Bryant
So there was, in addition to the charge of the Light Brigade at this. So we're at the Battle of Balaclava still. This is where all of this happens. Right. Remember that the Highlanders already turned back the Russian cavalry once. Now the Heavy Brigade is actually sent in. Their charge of the Heavy Brigade came before the charge of the Light Brigade. And I think it was pretty effective when they hit up the Russians. I think there were 800 horsemen in the heavy brigade running into 3,000 Russians in the Russian line.
Josh Clark
Yeah. But it's the Heavy Brigade, so they did a lot of damage, the Russian cavalry. Now it's in my head. They kind of scramble to get out of there. And here's where we get to a point where there's sort of a fateful, confusing order that brings us to the actual Light Brigade story. And we're gonna introduce some people here, none of whom seem to be very competent at warring. So basically, people like you and I would have been.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. Imagine if we were rich and said, I want to be a lieutenant. I'm going to pay to be a lieutenant in the army and command soldiers.
Josh Clark
That was a thing.
Chuck Bryant
That's exactly what these men had done, with the exception of Lord Raglan. He had battle experience. He had fought Napoleon at Waterloo. He lost an arm in that battle. So he was a war hero. But he was 25 when that happened. And by this time he was 65. Yeah, a little dotty, maybe. He apparently remember there was a French English alliance that was battling the Russians. But when he would refer to the French, say, strategically, they were talking about what the French were doing, he'd refer to them as the enemy. That was very confusing. And this battle, the Battle of Balaclava, was the first time that he had ever led, like, commanded men in battle. Up to that point, he'd been subordinate. This was the first time he was the one calling the shots for the battle. So he had the most experience. And this was the first time he was doing that. Yeah, for sure.
Josh Clark
So he gets up on this high, about a 600 foot high ridge, so he's got a great view of the battlefield. The guys down there don't have any kind of view at all. So the orders are going to be getting maybe a little bit confusing because they can't really see what's going on like Raglan can. He's also pretty far away, so it takes 20 minutes to get even with The Light Horse Brigade or the Light Runner, who we'll meet in a minute, too, who hates everybody that's involved here, as it turns out, it takes him about 20 minutes to get there and deliver an order, and presumably a little bit of time to sort of suss that out, and then another 20 minutes to come back. So it's probably like 40 minutes to an hour for this whole exchange of information to take place. And what Raglan is trying to do is trying to stop the enemy from taking away these heavy guns that they had captured at that Causeway Heights battle.
Chuck Bryant
Right.
Josh Clark
And so he sends the following order. Lord Raglan wishes the cavalry to advance rapidly to the front, follow the enemy, and try to prevent the enemy carrying away the guns. Troop horse artillery may accompany French cavalry is on your left. Immediate.
Chuck Bryant
Okay, a little vague.
Josh Clark
That's the message. A little bit vague, yeah.
Chuck Bryant
So that's problem one. It's vague. Problem two is, like you said, Raglan's up 600ft with a bird's eye view of everything going on. And the two men who received this order, the Earl of Lucan, George Bingham, and the Earl of Cardigan, James Brudenell, they're down in one of the valleys, so they can't see these captured guns that Raglan's talking about. And when this man who you said hated everybody showed up, Captain Lewis Nolan, they're like, wait, what's going on? What are you talking about? And before we get into that, we should probably talk a little bit about Bingham and Brudenelle, because we kind of disparaged them a little bit, and I think we should explain why.
Josh Clark
Yeah, I mean, you mentioned being able to pay for a position. That's what both of these guys did. They paid for this position of. Of leading these men. They were both wealthy gentlemen. I believe Brudenel, the Earl of Cardigan, was described at one point as brave, handsome, bad tempered and brainless. And these guys were brothers in law who hated each other's guts. So Cardigan was a subordinate to Lucan and didn't like being under his command. And like he said, this guy Nolan didn't like either one of them. He said, and these are quotes he said, we call Lucan the cautious ass, and Lord Cardigan the dangerous ass. And Lord Cardigan has as much brains as his boot. So no respect seemingly is happening for these dudes down there leading these charges.
Chuck Bryant
No, one other thing. The balaclava headgear came out of this battle. So did the Cardigan sweater.
Josh Clark
Now, I don't know whether or not this is legit. You're 18 to believe.
Chuck Bryant
I totally get that. I totally get that. This is one of those things where it's like, no, I'm joking. This is true. It's named after James Brudenell, the Earl of Cardigan. I think the seventh Earl of Cardigan.
Josh Clark
Cause I almost looked that up, but I just ran out of time because we were recording early, and I had a hunch, but I didn't get to it. So you're not pulling my. My ski rope?
Chuck Bryant
No, no. Your rope trauma rope.
Josh Clark
My rope trauma. All right, well, another little Crimean War fact. I like that.
Chuck Bryant
And one other thing about George Bingham, the Earl of Lucan. He made his money by. As a landlord for poor Irish tenant farmers and then would evict them and send them to the poor house when they couldn't pay rent. He was not a good guy at all, but that's how he became wealthy enough to buy his position as a commander of the Brigade. The. The cavalry, I guess.
Josh Clark
Right. All right. So Nolan delivers this order. He's, like we said, a pretty fast rider on that horse. He gets there pretty quickly. We don't know. This is where things get a little confusing. We don't know if he had other motives because he didn't like these guys. He also was in the Light Brigade, and he wanted to see some action, and at that battle of the Alma river, didn't get any action. And I think he was even frustrated because Lucan had orders to dispatch the Light Brigade and didn't take it. These guys wanted to see action. They wanted to be heroes on the battlefield. So he gets down there to deliver this message. They're looking around, going alight. What guns are you talking about? And he basically just says, over there. He points at the end of the valley and said, there, my Lord, is your enemy. There are your guns. Which was not the correct direction to point.
Chuck Bryant
No. He was pointing at a heavily fortified Russian gun position. Right. There were apparently, like, 30 or 40 cannons there. And what, again, Raglan was talking about were some poorly defended captured artillery guns elsewhere. Right. I think they were on one of the sides. So when he pointed, he was pointing to the center of three heavily fortified Russian positions on, I think, a ridge overlooking a valley. And basically said, raglan is telling you to charge the Light Brigade. This isn't even a job for a Light Brigade, but you and the Light Brigade are supposed to charge straight to those Russian guns in the middle of this horribly dangerous place for you guys to be. Let's go.
Josh Clark
That's right. And we don't know why he did that. We don't know if he was confused. We didn't know if he was doing it on purpose because he hated these guys. We don't know if he was doing it on purpose because he wanted that action. We don't know all this stuff because the guy who got the message wrong was one of the first people killed during this charge, which is not funny. I'm not laughing, but it's just. I mean, this was known as sort of a war folly by the end of it, even though, as we'll see, it didn't turn out to be a complete loss.
Chuck Bryant
No. I know we haven't gotten to the Light Brigade, the actual charge yet, but should we take a break now?
Josh Clark
Yeah. I think it fits the act structure.
Chuck Bryant
Sorry, everybody.
Josh Clark
We'll be right back.
Chuck Bryant
Learning stuff with Joshua. Stuff yourself.
Josh Clark
Good. All right. So now we're finally at the Light Brigade charge. It was not supposed to happen that way. Again, it was a misunderstood or misdelivered, at least, order. And Lucan and Cardigan didn't know they had 670 cavalry men in this Light Brigade. One of the most famous blunders in military history. They said, basically, all right, let's do this thing. And they went charging through what was known as the Valley of Death.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. And there was no one there who was like, oh, okay, this is a good idea. Let's do this. But they didn't question the orders. So when they entered this Valley of Death. That's what I think Tennyson called it later, right?
Josh Clark
Yeah.
Chuck Bryant
They were again charging right for Russian cannon straight ahead. And then there were Russian artillery positions on either side. And they're running right through this. And right when they start riding through this Valley of Death, they just start getting fired upon. They're fired upon from all three directions, although apparently not all at the same time, but still, like, this was a. It was essentially a suicide mission that they'd just been sent on. And it just went badly immediately.
Josh Clark
Yeah. They were people that survived it, and they said that limbs were being shot off, heads were being shot off, horses were running around without people on them or with just bodies on them, without heads. There was so much smoke, apparently. One soldier said it was like riding into the mouth of a volcano. The Heavy Brigade, it was going so badly, the Heavy Brigade was supposed to follow. It was kind of reversed, I guess. And Lucan said, no, he pulled those orders back and pulled back the Heavy Brigade. Even.
Chuck Bryant
He said, they have sacrificed the Light Brigade. That shall not have the Heavy if I can help it. Yeah. So what's crazy about this is these 675 riders riding into 3000-ish- Russians and their. Their cannons, all. Most of them, the majority of them made it. They made it to this. These Russian lines, and they broke them up. They actually. At least the Russian artillery position that they were charging toward in the center. Yeah, they captured that. They actually managed to force the Russian soldiers to retreat from that. And so they captured those guns. That's insane. That happened like, there should have been no one alive, and yet they actually fulfilled this nutso mission that should have never happened in the first place because it was a miscommunication.
Josh Clark
Yeah. And they ended up getting all three of those positions because they went back into position. The Light Brigade took out one of those positions, which, by the way, I don't know if we made it clear, but one of those positions was the original order, which I guess they eventually got to. They just did it out of order. And then the other one was destroyed by a French light cavalry unit called the African Hunters, or the. How would you pronounce that, Josh?
Chuck Bryant
Chasseur d'. Afrique.
Josh Clark
Very nice.
Chuck Bryant
Thanks. I took three years of French in high school.
Josh Clark
Hey, it's been paying off for 18 years for us. A little French from you, little German from me, and everything else mispronounced.
Chuck Bryant
Oh, well, don't forget your Italian accent, though.
Josh Clark
Well, sure.
Chuck Bryant
We have the whole of Europe covered.
Josh Clark
Yeah, most of it.
Chuck Bryant
So when the Light Brigade charged through this valley of death and broke up the Russian artilleries and the French broke up another one, I think there was actually one left still. They had to ride back and were being fired upon by that remaining one, too. So they had to ride back from the valley to get to where they started, back, you know, to safety again. And when they got back, they found that of the 670 members of the Light Brigade who undertook this charge, 110 were killed, 160 were wounded, 375 horses were killed. So 670 of the members, more than half of them, lost their horse. And apparently some of the men told Cardigan that they were ready to go again.
Josh Clark
Yeah, I guess it was. You know, they felt like they did good work, they wanted to do more.
Chuck Bryant
I mean, I can't imagine if you thought you were going on a suicide mission and it actually worked out and you made it back alive. I'm sure you were invigorated as probably underselling it.
Josh Clark
Yeah. But guys like you and I would have said, how about we don't do that again?
Chuck Bryant
We would have been like, wait, are you sure that's what he said? Because this doesn't make any sense. Let's talk this through.
Josh Clark
All right. So William Howard Russell is writing about this thing like we talked about. He is the one that ends up. And he did some beautiful writing as far as that kind of stuff goes, but he is the one who ended up inspiring Tennyson's poem. Maybe I'll read this last line, at least. It's a pretty good example. At the distance of 1200 yards, the whole line of the enemy belched forth from 30 iron mouths a flood of smoke and flame through which hissed the deadly balls. Their flight was marked by instant gaps in our ranks by dead men and horses, by steeds flying wounded or riderless across the plain.
Chuck Bryant
That's pretty good reporting.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Pretty good stuff.
Chuck Bryant
So I think you mentioned before that the Charge of the Light Brigade is viewed as an enormous military blunder. It's still very much taught in schools is, like, what not to do. It's also. I think it's also shorthand among military people as, like, for any senseless waste of soldiers, lives by higher ups calling bad shots. But it's also revered as an incredibly brave, courageous act. And that's what's celebrated. Not the fact that they even were successful. That's not the most celebrated fact. It was that these men just basically put their nose down and did what they had to do. However you feel about that, that's essentially what the poem celebrates most of all.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Which was when he was Poet Laureate of England in 1850. I think it was about six weeks after that battle is when he published the Charge of the Light Brigade and the examiner, initially. Should we read this last? The second stanza?
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. That's the most famous of all of them.
Josh Clark
Why don't you take this one?
Chuck Bryant
I think you should.
Josh Clark
Okay. Forward the Light Brigade. Was there a man dismayed not though the soldier knew someone had blundered Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die. Into the valley of Death rode the 600.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. And apparently Tennyson recorded himself reading this on a wax cylinder. And there's places on the Internet, including YouTube, I believe, where you can hear it. And it bears an uncanny resemblance to that. Remember that doll in the Dolls episode, the old timey talking doll from the 19th century? It sounds a little bit like that. But even getting past that, he. I don't think he does a very good job reading it. It's the worst reading I've heard of. That ever.
Josh Clark
So you're saying my reading is better than Tennyson's own?
Chuck Bryant
I am. It is.
Josh Clark
Oh, wow.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. So way to go, man.
Josh Clark
I appreciate that. Maybe I should be Poet laureate, Reader of England.
Chuck Bryant
I've been secretly lobbying for you to be named Poet Laureate of the US for years now.
Josh Clark
My high school had a poet laureate.
Chuck Bryant
Who was it?
Josh Clark
Natasha Trethewey, if I'm not mistaken.
Chuck Bryant
Wow.
Josh Clark
She was there when I was there. Pretty cool stuff.
Chuck Bryant
That's impressive. You remember that?
Josh Clark
Yeah, I think she might have been in my grade, so, yeah, who knows? I might have had English class with her, for all I know. So there was also, from Tennyson, the Charge of the Heavy Brigade at Balaclava. It was years after the war, though. And this was. And this is kind of where we end. The story is British war veterans had a very hard time after this in a lot of cases. And there were many efforts to try and raise money and raise awareness for that, that a lot of them went to poor houses and weren't cared for. And this poem was written years later to try and raise money for these war veterans, along with Kipling. Right.
Chuck Bryant
Kipling wrote another one, the Last of the Light Brigade, that actually commemorates the charge of the Heavy brigade at Balaclava in Tennyson's writing of it. And Tennyson actually makes an appearance in this Kipling poem. But both of them were basically for the same reason, to call attention to the fact that these Crimean War veterans had just been totally abandoned by their nations and were living in total poverty in a lot of cases. And what's really sad is that a fundraising effort that Tennyson led, thanks to his poem and his fame, too. I mean, like, he was a very famous person at this time. They were only able to collect £24.
Josh Clark
That can't have been too much even back then. No, there were a couple of movies. There was one from 1936, the charge of the Light Brigade, with Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland.
Chuck Bryant
And Olivia de Havilland had her breakthrough role in airport 77 years later.
Josh Clark
Yeah, that's what she's known for. It was a love triangle movie about British soldiers that takes place sort of around this fatal charge. And then another one from 68. Right.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. It's called the Charge of the Light Brigade. But this one is a satire. It's satirizing the British aristocracy, especially in the Victorian age, essentially just hungering for war so they could get their own glory again, buying offices or ranks in the military. And it was John Gielgud as Lord Cardigan and. Yeah, I haven't seen it.
Josh Clark
Vanessa Redgrave, like, what a cast.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, it's quite a cast. Every time I see John Gielgud or hear his name, I replace his name with Dr. Feelgood, the motley Crue song.
Josh Clark
He's the one they called John Gielgood.
Chuck Bryant
Sir John Gielgood. You have to add the sir.
Josh Clark
He's the one they call Sir John Gielgud.
Chuck Bryant
Yep, there it is. He's the one that makes you feel all right.
Josh Clark
That's right. If you're watching Arthur, that is.
Chuck Bryant
Was he in that? Was he the butler?
Josh Clark
Yeah, I think he won an Oscar for that role.
Chuck Bryant
For the Butler?
Josh Clark
Yeah. I mean.
Chuck Bryant
I mean, that's impressive.
Josh Clark
He was great. This is one of my favorite movies. Growing up. Still is awesome.
Chuck Bryant
Well, that's the Charge of the Light Brigade, everyone.
Josh Clark
That's right.
Chuck Bryant
Chuck said, that's right. So it's time for listener mail.
Josh Clark
Hey, guys, long story short, I've been listening for four plus years. And as many others say, you two have no idea how much appreciation your fan base has for you. Writing this, I was scouring through old episodes. I came across an UP where you two disagreed on the subject. I can't remember what it was, but you kept the animated conversation going for a few minutes. It was a subtle reminder that the two of you, just like anybody else, are friends and can totally have disagreements or differing opinions. But let's have a little fun. Can you share an example of when you disagreed with the other, but rather than voice it on the air, you kept it to yourself? Or are there any topics where you had a disagreement and you cut it out? That is warmly from Warner Fenn. P.S. mom and dad. I'll go ahead and answer for my part in that. I don't think we've ever had a disagreement that we've, like, cut out of the episode that I can think of.
Chuck Bryant
No, we almost. Yeah, we leave those in. I can't think of one either.
Josh Clark
Yeah, and I can't think of. I mean, there's the famous, you know, watering the lawns and things like that from past episodes. But, I mean, I'm sure there's lots of little things I might disagree on in the moment that I keep to myself that just aren't a big deal. And I don't bring them up because it's just not worth mentioning in a show episode.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah, you want to keep the show going. Plus, also, I mean, you can only correct one another so often before you start seeming like a know it all. Or whatever. Or it just is interruptive most of the time. It just doesn't matter. Like chassis. You remember you were saying chassis and I didn't correct you.
Josh Clark
Oh, man.
Chuck Bryant
It just didn't matter, you know?
Josh Clark
Yeah, exactly. And, yeah, I think that sums it up best. We. And on just big stuff, philosophically, we're pretty much aligned as humans and friends. So, like, that's why there's never any big stuff, is because we both kind of park our cars in the same garage for the most part.
Chuck Bryant
You know, it would be a much different podcast if we. If we didn't see eye to eye generally on the big stuff, I think. Yeah.
Josh Clark
And I mean, I think most of the disagreements are, like, you didn't like that movie. That kind of stuff stung.
Chuck Bryant
Right.
Josh Clark
And who cares about that, you know?
Chuck Bryant
Or you've never had pizza rolls.
Josh Clark
Yeah. Like, I don't like pickles and mustard. And even though you're determined to convince me there's a pickle and a mustard I might like.
Chuck Bryant
Yeah. No, I finally accepted both. Okay. I've accepted it that you don't like pickles. It's okay.
Josh Clark
Well, that's recent because last week you tried to feed me a pickle mustard sandwich.
Chuck Bryant
It's just from yesterday. I really gave a lot of thought to it in the sauna. Okay, good. And, yeah, I'm like, he just doesn't like pickles.
Josh Clark
I wonder what you were thinking about that day.
Chuck Bryant
That was it.
Matt
All right.
Chuck Bryant
All right. Who was that from?
Josh Clark
That was from Warner Fenn in Los Angeles.
Chuck Bryant
Oh. And that's it. You're gonna see something else. Thanks a lot, Warner.
Josh Clark
I was, but I stopped myself. See how that happened?
Chuck Bryant
Were you gonna correct me or something?
Josh Clark
No, not at all. I'll tell you after.
Chuck Bryant
Okay, thanks a lot, Warner. That was a really great email. It reminds me of the kind of questions we get at the Q and A we do at our live shows, which we have coming up. I think we're probably in the middle of them right now when this comes out.
Josh Clark
That's right.
Chuck Bryant
But we're going to be other places, too, so you can find out where we're going to be by going to stuffyou should know.com and clicking on the On Tour button. And in the meantime, if you want to send us an email like Warner did, you can send it to stuff podcastheartradio.com.
Narrator/Host of Mind Games
Stuff youf Should Know is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts, my heart radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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Josh Clark
Guaranteed Human.
Podcast: Stuff You Should Know
Hosts: Josh Clark & Chuck Bryant
Episode Date: January 27, 2026
In this episode, Josh and Chuck dive into the famous Crimean War event: the Charge of the Light Brigade. They unravel the real story behind the legendary (and ill-fated) British cavalry charge, explore the war's broader context, and discuss how miscommunication, upper-class incompetence, and sheer bravery collided in one of history’s best-known military blunders. The discussion is littered with their trademark humor, tangents, and historical pop culture references.
"So lots of sort of little weird things. And obviously, like you mentioned the Charge of the Light Brigade, the very famous poem."
—Josh Clark (05:32)
"Boy, the more things change, the more they say the same, huh?"
—Josh Clark (07:07)
"But isn't part of war trying to know that stuff?"
—Josh Clark (12:48)
"He described the line of men...their brick red coats as the thin. A thin red streak. Tipped with steel. And that eventually morphed into the Thin Red Line."
—Josh Clark (18:13)
"Light Brigade...your job was to ride very quickly across the battlefield... Heavy Brigade is exactly what you would think."
—Josh Clark (23:15)
“Lord Raglan wishes the cavalry to advance rapidly to the front, follow the enemy, and try to prevent the enemy carrying away the guns. ...Immediate.” (Josh Clark reads order, 27:26)
"There, my Lord, is your enemy. There are your guns." (31:11, paraphrasing)
"These are quotes: we call Lucan the cautious ass, and Lord Cardigan the dangerous ass. And Lord Cardigan has as much brains as his boot."
—Josh Clark (28:31)
"They said, basically, all right, let's do this thing. And they went charging through what was known as the Valley of Death."
—Josh Clark (33:05)
"Apparently some of the men told Cardigan that they were ready to go again."
—Chuck Bryant (37:24)
"At the distance of 1200 yards, the whole line of the enemy belched forth from 30 iron mouths a flood of smoke and flame through which hissed the deadly balls..." (Josh Clark quoting Russell, 38:27)
“Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die. Into the valley of Death rode the 600.” (Josh Clark reading, 39:44)
"Both of them were basically for the same reason, to call attention to the fact that these Crimean War veterans had just been totally abandoned by their nations and were living in total poverty."
—Chuck Bryant (41:44)
On historical patterns:
“Boy, the more things change, the more they say the same, huh?” —Josh Clark (07:07)
On aristocratic incompetence:
"Imagine if we were rich and said, I want to be a lieutenant. I'm going to pay to be a lieutenant in the army and command soldiers." —Chuck Bryant (25:25)
On confusing military vocabulary:
“They should really have named those things. Two completely different sounding words.” —Josh Clark (16:59), riffing on "Calvary" vs "cavalry."
On poetic legacy:
“Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die. Into the valley of Death rode the 600.” —Josh Clark reading Tennyson (39:44)
The episode is lively, irreverent, and packed with digressions, yet the hosts maintain admiration for the courage of the individual soldiers, while poking fun at leadership failures and historical oddities. They balance humor with respect for history’s gravity.
Useful for listeners who want an accessible account of the Charge of the Light Brigade—balancing military facts, cultural context, and the enduring legacy of one disastrous yet awe-inspiring event.