You need to know these rules before your next dinner party

Summary

Summary of "Style-ish" Podcast Episode: "You Need to Know These Rules Before Your Next Dinner Party"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Style-ish
• Host/Author: Shameless Media
• Description: Style-ish is the podcast for all things fashion, brand, business, beauty, and today, food.
• Episode: You Need to Know These Rules Before Your Next Dinner Party
• Release Date: July 8, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Style-ish, host Madison Sullivan Thorpe, alongside co-hosts Joanna Fleming and Annika Joshi Smith, delves into the art of hosting successful dinner parties. The trio shares personal anecdotes, stylistic swaps, and expert advice to help listeners elevate their dinner party game. The episode is peppered with humor, relatable experiences, and practical tips, making it a must-listen for anyone looking to host memorable gatherings.

Styling Swaps

Before diving into the main topic, the hosts share their latest swaps:

• Joanna Fleming's Faux Flowers: Joanna introduces Studio Alyssum, a business specializing in ultra-realistic silk artificial flowers. She praises their modern arrangements, noting, “They genuinely look amazing” (03:58).

• Annika Joshi Smith's Sleep Tonic: Annika talks about her experience with Aari Deep Sleep Tonic, highlighting its effectiveness and versatility. “This sleep tonic, I swear, is a game changer” (05:14).

• Madison Sullivan Thorpe's Morphe Brushes: Madison discusses Morphe's high-quality beauty brushes, emphasizing their suitability as gifts. “These brushes are so good... really high quality” (07:15).

Main Discussion: 8 Dinner Party Rules

The core of the episode revolves around eight essential rules for hosting dinner parties, curated with insights from Jem Lester, an experienced private caterer and cook.

Rule 1: Ensure You're Catering to All Guests Properly

The hosts emphasize the importance of accommodating dietary restrictions and preferences to ensure all guests feel included and comfortable.

• Joanna Fleming: “I hate sparkling water and always want just tap water on the table” (10:15).
• Annika Joshi Smith: Discusses accommodating pregnant guests by offering alcohol-free options and ensuring everyone has something suitable to eat.

Key Takeaway: Proactively inquire about dietary needs, allergies, and preferences to tailor your menu accordingly.

Rule 2: Let the Ambiance Do the Heavy Lifting

Creating the right atmosphere is crucial for a successful dinner party. Elements like lighting, music, and decor set the mood.

• Madison Sullivan Thorpe: “Vibes are everything” (16:47).
• Joanna Fleming: Highlights the importance of background music and thoughtful bathroom setups with candles and lamps.

Key Takeaway: Invest time in setting up ambiance through lighting, music, and decor to enhance the dining experience.

Rule 3: Don't Let the Guests Do the Dishes

Maintaining a relaxed environment means keeping guests from feeling responsible for cleanup.

• Jem Lester: “I never let my guests do the dishes. I would rather sit and enjoy a wine and then the post dinner chat” (21:22).

Key Takeaway: As a host, manage the cleanup process discreetly to allow guests to fully enjoy their time without obligations.

Rule 4: Always Set the Table First

Avoid last-minute stress by preparing your table setting well in advance.

• Re Joyce: “Always set the table first to prevent last-minute dash around” (25:28).

Key Takeaway: Organize your table settings ahead of time to ensure a smooth and stress-free hosting experience.

Rule 5: It's Not a Performance

Keep your dinner party authentic and avoid overcomplicating the menu or setup.

• Jem Lester: “Stick to a simple menu you know you can execute well. Your guests will be more relaxed and at ease” (29:37).

Key Takeaway: Focus on genuine interactions and manageable menus to create a comfortable atmosphere for both you and your guests.

Rule 6: Don't Ask Your Guests to Pay You Back

Financial considerations can add unnecessary stress to hosting. The hosts advocate for shared contributions rather than direct cost recoveries.

• Madison Sullivan Thorpe: “Delegating tasks is helpful financially. Ask someone to bring a dessert or a cheese board” (34:08).

Key Takeaway: Encourage contributions through potluck-style setups rather than requesting monetary reimbursements to maintain a welcoming environment.

Rule 7: Never Turn Up Empty-Handed as a Guest

Guests should bring a thoughtful gesture when attending a dinner party, such as a bottle of wine, a dessert, or flowers.

• Madison Sullivan Thorpe: “Take people’s favorite olive oil or a beautiful candle” (37:58).

Key Takeaway: Show appreciation to your host by bringing a small, thoughtful gift, enhancing the communal spirit of the dinner party.

Rule 8: As a Guest, Always Give Your Hosts an Extra 10 Minutes

Arriving slightly late can alleviate the host’s stress and allow them ample time to prepare.

• Re Joyce: “If you're expected at 7pm, arrive at 7:10pm” (36:27).

Key Takeaway: Respect the host's preparation time by allowing for a grace period in your arrival, contributing to a relaxed atmosphere.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on their dinner party experiences, sharing laughs about past gatherings, and teasing future episodes. They underscore the importance of thoughtful hosting and gracious guest behavior in creating memorable and enjoyable dinner parties.

Notable Quotes:

• Madison Sullivan Thorpe: “Vibes are everything.” (16:47)
• Joanna Fleming: “A fun paired cocktail, a handwritten menu, cozy lighting... just soft, sexy background jazz.” (16:47)
• Annika Joshi Smith: “My friends know we're always on time for our dinner times.” (14:08)
• Madison Sullivan Thorpe: “It’s not the time to try a new recipe. It’s when you've got ample guests.” (30:17)

Final Thoughts: Listeners are encouraged to implement these rules to host unforgettable dinner parties, balancing style with substance. The hosts' blend of practical advice, personal stories, and playful banter provides a comprehensive guide for both new and seasoned hosts.

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Note: All timestamps reference the podcast transcript provided.

Transcript

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Foreign.

[Joanna Fleming]

This episode of Stylish is brought to you by Dan Murphy's Find out what's new now and next when it comes to trending drinks.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

This is Stylish, the podcast for all things fashion, brand, business and beauty, and today, food. My name is Madison Sullivan Thorpe. My co hosts, as always, are Joanna Fleming and Annika Joshi Smith.

[Joanna Fleming]

Hello.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Hi, guys. How are we? Great.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I actually was having this conversation at a wine bar recently because I was with her girlfriend whose hair looked sensational, and she told me she's been doing heatless curls, which made me feel like very circa Covid of when everyone was doing that.

[Joanna Fleming]

I have a story about heatless curls.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

So my friend Jess has notoriously had hard to manage hair and recently started doing the heatless curls. And I did not think she would ever be a heatless curls kind of person, but I recommended the air straight to her and she's been using the air straight. And then while it's still warm, she wraps it in the heatless curls her hair and has never looked better.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

We keep.

[Joanna Fleming]

Every time we see her, we're like.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Jess, what the hell?

[Joanna Fleming]

What happened? Do you think you're 33 and having the best hair of your whole life?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Do you think that you could do it if you just had, like a straightener or a heat tool or like a curling wand that you could do it first and then, like, just have heat on the hair?

[Joanna Fleming]

I mean, you'd probably just want to dry it off with a hair dryer so your roots aren't completely wet and you could just use your dressing gown tie to do it. But her hair has grown so much. Absolutely. I do, but I wouldn't want to take it off because I use it. Yeah, but it's grown so much because I think her problem was her hair was so heat damaged because she would always straighten it or style it in some way. Yeah, right. And it's grown so much. It's. Honestly, all of us in the group are just gobsmacked at how good her hair looks.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

It makes me laugh.

[Joanna Fleming]

Shout out to heatless girls.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. It makes me laugh, though, because it's like quite a contraption. They can look. And then she very politely said to me at the table, well, respectfully, like, you've got no one to wake up next to. Now's the time. Like, this is the time for the heatless girls. And I was like, feels like a backhanded compliment. Do you know what? Thank you. So fair. So fair. I, like, should be doing the mouth tape and the healer's curls.

[Joanna Fleming]

Honestly, I don't think I can bring myself to do it though because I'm a tummy sleeper, so that's not going to work for me.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

It's a tummy as well.

[Joanna Fleming]

Not many people are.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah, I love a cock. A little layer. Yeah. Get on my.

[Joanna Fleming]

Oh, okay.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Wow.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We went there yet again.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

The end of this year, there's just going to be a highlight reel of all of the times we've had a slip of the tongue.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. Pre littered often.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Okay, well, that was an unintentional swap. But Jo, what are you swapping in this week?

[Joanna Fleming]

Well, I've got to tell you what, what's on the episode for today first?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Sorry, I got ahead of myself.

[Joanna Fleming]

Anyway, on today's episode, we are doing a very special rules based episode sharing eight dinner party rules worth following. And we know you've loved our previous episodes like this. We've done wedding rules, home styling rules, and what's the other one? Rules for extending the lifestyle, the lifecycle of your clothing. That was my favorite one, I think because it involved heavy amounts of cleaning content.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

You really shone in that episode.

[Joanna Fleming]

Thank you. So check those out if you haven't listened already. But we're going to dive into that in a second. Let's do our swap first. Who wants to volunteer?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

You go first.

[Joanna Fleming]

I never go first. Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Thank you.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah. Okay. Well, mine today is actually kind of related to dinner parties, I suppose because it's a styling or decor item that you could have. So I was on Instagram scrolling the other day and I came across this, the Instagram of this business. It's called Studio Alyssum. It is faux flowers or fake flowers. It's artificial flowers. They're made from silk. I believe most of them are made from silk. I don't know if they're all made from silk. They are the most realistic looking fake flowers I've ever seen in my life. Like, they genuinely look amazing. I know when you think of fake flowers, you're thinking of the ones in like bunnings or the $2. Absolutely not like that. Like, they basically emulate really cool trending.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Flowers like hydrangeas and paintings and things.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yep. Okay, great.

[Joanna Fleming]

It's just they do the most stunning little arrangements as well. So it looks like a very modern kind of arrangement. Flower arrangement. I'm assuming you would have to dust them quite frequently for them to stay looking as, you know, luscious as they do when they first arrive. You gotta. I think you'd have to do a bit of zhujing every now and then.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I mean, you are our cleaning expert.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes, I would.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

You're well placed.

[Joanna Fleming]

I would.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

But I just feel like sometimes I can't always be thinking about buying fresh flowers all the time.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

I do like having that option of always having something in the house that is not a candle or a tray or some other kind of styling item. Something that brings color to the space. Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Beautiful.

[Joanna Fleming]

And something that you don't have to throw out once it dies.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I think it's so nice as well because being in silk, like, it will kind of like capture the light and like have like, you know, a little bit of mood behind it.

[Joanna Fleming]

You seriously have to look up, like, you will not believe that these have fake flowers. I thought it was a florist. And then I realized I read the bio of the Instagram page. I was like, wait, what? They're not real people using them for their weddings. Which is a great idea.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. Great idea. Because then you also get to keep them. And what a lovely keepsake.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah. I kind of regret not doing that for my wedding now.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

There's still time. Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Anyway, that's a deposit has been paid.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

To the fresh florist books. Annika, what are you. So being.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, so mine is all about sleep. I have gotten onto Aari Deep Sleep Tonic. And so this is actually by the founders of Age. And so it's all like a beautiful wellness space. And guys, this sleep tonic, I swear, is a game changer. Like I have gifted it to so many people. My mother in law, like, I know she doesn't have the best night's sleep. You can either pop a few pumps into a glass of water or I actually just do it directly into my mouth.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

You are out $69 for 150 mils. But a little goes a long way.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I really struggle with sleep. I know I've spoken about it before. Like I would spend anything to have a better night's sleep. So consider that one an add to cart.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

I also did not know that the brand Ikari were by the founders of Age.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yes.

[Joanna Fleming]

Adrian.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

By Adrian Norris. Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. And apparently it's kind of like a space as well that he just really like loves and thrives. And it's kind of really aligned with who he is as a person. So I really like that. Very interesting project.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. Their hand wash and lotion also side notes.

[Joanna Fleming]

Oh my God.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Game changer. Actually another gift that I often put on, you know, when someone buys a new house or something. Yeah, their hand. And like even the beautiful. It's in like, a really beautiful, like, green glass.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Quite a statement on the counter.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. It's a vessel.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

It's a vessel.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Bathroom furniture as well.

[Joanna Fleming]

There we go.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

My swap is Morphe brushes.

[Joanna Fleming]

Oh, yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

So Morphe are having a bit of a rebrand at the moment, which. I see you, Morphe. I see you. I. I went into Mecca. I needed a new foundation brush. The girls were super helpful. I bought one of the brushes, but the brush kits, they didn't have them in stock, but they were showing me some of the samples. Amazing. Like, these brushes are so good. Like, really high quality brushes for what they are. I've always quite liked Morphe brushes. I have a couple of their old sets, their eye shadow brush sets, and they're great. They're also a really good gift if, like, you've got anyone who you just, like, want to get something cute for for their birthday. But they're really great and I just thought if anyone needs a new brush set, your reminder to either clean them or go and buy some new ones. They're really good.

[Joanna Fleming]

I also just got a Morphe contour stick, which is really good as well.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Their product development is quite good right now.

[Joanna Fleming]

I've never really dabbled much in the brand, but it's really nice.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I did dabble in the 24 pan eyeshadow palette, which feels like a real moment in time.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah, real moment in time. Also really random. But their lip glosses are quite good as well.

[Joanna Fleming]

Are they okay?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Honestly, you've just had 42 swaps for me. Don't know that I'd go the 24 eyeshadow again, given I'm like a zoom shadow stick, single eyeshadow gal.

[Joanna Fleming]

I think that time's done for now.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Anyway, there's a fair few swaps to still come your way because we're going to be talking eight dinner party rules worth following. So dinner parties are one of life's true pleasures. I know all of us love a dinner party. Delicious food and drinks, great company, intimate conversations, mood lighting, soft jazz, perhaps.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Wonder who suggested the soft jazz?

[Joanna Fleming]

I know. I was thinking it was you. But hosting a successful dinner party isn't as easy as it always seems. There is a lot to consider beyond what you're cooking or what Adrian's cooking in my case. So, with the help of Jem Lester, an experienced private caterer and cook, we've compiled eight dinner party rules that we swear by. And these rules will help you pull together your best dinner party yet. And we've got A few tips in there for guests as well. So let's jump into those rules if you guys are ready.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Ready.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I have to say as well, I have had the absolute pleasure of having Jem Lester cook for me. She hated a girlfriend's hens. I don't know why I'm acting like you guys don't know who it is. It's Rhiannon Joyce, head of business development here at Shameless Media. I think I left in love with Jen Lester. I was like, this is some of the best food I've ever eaten. So if you ever see any of her recipes. Can't recommend enough. A lot of ingredients, a lot of effort, but, oh, God, the juice is worth the squeeze.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I loved what I saw on Social. So I'm like, okay, might have to get her around for a little dinner party.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

She's also sheer delight. And her younger brother came to do like, the serving.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, bless.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And I was like, this is just gorgeous. She's like, no, I have to pay him. I was like, oh, okay.

[Joanna Fleming]

Still though, not a love job.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Gorgeous.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah, yeah. Let's jump into the rules. Rule number one, ensure you're catering to all guests properly. We've all been at the dinner party where the dietary hasn't been heard, haven't we? So this rule actually came from the both of you.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And it's ensuring that you adequately cater to all of your guests. This means allergies, dieteries, and keeping it all front of mind. But also other things like the timing of the event and whether or not they drink alcohol.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Do you wish to elaborate, given this is your rule?

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes. One thing that I need to mention is that I hate sparkling water and I really just always want just tap water on the table. And so that's something that I will offer is. And make sure that there is tap water available. Cause I hate when I'm at a restaurant and they fill it up and it was tap water, but they put sparkling in it. I'm like.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

One more time for me.

[Joanna Fleming]

So I like to get drinks preferences, especially someone like me. I don't really drink much.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

And I would prefer to have like a non alcoholic option, like a soft drink or, you know, just water is fine for me, but I also love a peppermint tea at the end of the night. Oh, yeah. So I always like to offer a tea or a coffee at the end of the evening, even if people have been drinking. Because that's like my little nightcap, the peppermint tea. You know, they might want a port or they Might want a tea or they might want a coffee. I don't know what their preferences are, but at least offering that. But also getting things like, do you hate coriander? Because Adrian hates coriander. So that's something that I'll ask about if I'm not really familiar with the person. Most of my good friends are like, oh, I know that they don't really like eating nuts, or I know they don't really like coriander, and I can make those adjustments. But if they haven't been over before, I haven't been out to dinner with them and paid attention to their dieteries, then I always make sure that I ask just in case. Yeah, Preferences are huge as well. You can't just be like, oh, any dietary requirements. You can't eat mushrooms. Okay, cool. But, like, if they hate something else, you don't want to serve that up for them.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Eggplant. And you're serving eggplant parmigiano. It's going to be a problem, I think as well.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Like, in our friendship group, there's a lot of new mums. And at a lot of our dinner parties, I think now we're kind of at that age where we kind of prefer to have a dinner party rather than go out. A lot of the time someone might be pregnant at the table and we don't want it, or they might not want to necessarily announce it. So always having an elk free option has been imperative. Yeah, Always making sure we're not doing, like, a ceviche or something that, like, they can't eat. But we've always tried, I think, to make sure when we're catering, ensuring that we're aware of, like, maybe like a best friend will, like, whisper in my ear, by the way, I am pregnant. And, like, can we make sure there's gonna be some, like, options for me? And I'm like, what are you craving? Like, we'll have that on the table, but making it sure people don't feel, like, alienated, so to speak.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

And I'm that girl that I can't eat onions. Like, I just can't really. Yeah. So, like, my good friend's making a.

[Joanna Fleming]

Mental note right now.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So annoy. So, like, my good friends will know when I'm going to their house. I'll, like, if we're having, like, taco night or Mexican night, they'll have the onions on the side for me. And I love them so much more. But just like, little things, like, just so you know who you're catering to, you have options Available for everybody. Coriander, I fucking hate like that. Tastes like soap to me. So if you put that on the side for me, I'll love you too, Adrian.

[Joanna Fleming]

Okay, great. Noted.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Just know bulk coriander a okay with the gallon. I love gal over here as well. Look out.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I don't know why for me it just, it tastes like soap. Isn't that weird?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

So weird, yeah. Do you know what I think as well with dieteries don't. I think the not making someone feel left out is really important. And a lot of people are celiac or gluten free.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

There's nothing worse when it's like, oh, I don't have any crackers for you. But like you've got a cheese board out. It's like, well, what do you want them to do? Like, this isn't Stuart Little. They are going to need some sort of cracker or a piece of bread. Like, don't have them as an afterthought. Like if you're going to have an entree or something. Like, it's not like, oh, sorry, you're going to have to miss out for this one. You know, it's taking note of the dieteries and catering to them because they're two different things.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Not just main meal time.

[Joanna Fleming]

Okay.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

And also on the mummers. So a lot of our friends, we went through this really awkward stage of having like a 7pm or an 8pm dinner. And a lot of our new mums and like my girlfriends who are mums couldn't come because they might not have sitters. So now we have a lot of dinner parties that kind of start at like 5pm, even 4.30pm or even a long lunch, which we love. Which means that we can host to everybody. Everyone can be there, they can actually know. They can let their hair down, have a drink and have a sitter for a decent amount of time before getting home, before bedtime if they have to. But we always try to make sure that we just cater to everyone's time requirements as well. Like five years ago, 10 years ago, we would not have really cared about that. Our night started at like midnight, you know, and now it's so different because.

[Joanna Fleming]

In the club, in the club, you'll.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Find me in the club. But yeah, now it's just so different. Like we always have to cater to each of our friends kind of dinner times and their schedules and just works for the kids.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

My girlfriends never know when to leave. I need to get one of those pillows that say, please leave.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

By this time it's time to. No, that's a sign of a good host because that means you're really hosting.

[Joanna Fleming]

Everyone'S time and they're very comfortable.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

That's kudos to you.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And I'm so tired. I'm like, I've had enough. And they'll be like, go on, one more bottle. I'm like, no, please, no leave.

[Joanna Fleming]

One thing I said to Adrienne the other day as well was the comfort of your dining chairs is really important, which I should have added in here as a tip because we've got, I don't know how you describe them, upholstered gardening chairs. And so they've got a bit of cushion in them. I hate sitting on, like, a metal or a wooden chair for a long period of time. Like, my bum just hurts so much. Yeah. It literally loses feeling. Do you feel the same?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We at least have two leather chairs and then we've got, like a wooden bench. I'll always make sure when you come over.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I don't use a name card in your seat.

[Joanna Fleming]

Right. Thank you so much.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

At least we know that Annika and I will be really locked in when Adrian's cooking a no coriander dish.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes. All right, we're going to get into Rule 2 in just a moment. Moment. But first, we'll hear a word from today's sponsor. Winter's not necessarily known for being fun, especially here in Melbourne. It's like as soon as the temperature drops, we cancel all social commitments and retire until spring. But just because you're not in the mood to go out doesn't mean you can't bring the bars to you. So let me pitch you something. This winter, I'm planning to host an at home wine bar for my girlfriends. I'm thinking plenty of share plates, some candles, and a great playlist. All of the things we love about our local wine bar and everything we've spoken about in today's episode. And I thought it would be so cute to organize for your own friends. Obviously, wine is the most important factor. You can always count on Dan Murphy's for what's yum and what's trending. So I'll definitely pop in there to grab something new to try. With Adrian's help, of course. He's the wine connoisseur in our house. For this particular occasion, I'm thinking a little orange number and a fresh bright red. I'm definitely no wine expert, but apparently the Sweet Caroline Pinot is perfect because it's light and silky with notes of cherry and subtle spice. Plus, it's super food friendly and pairs well with any share plates we're having.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yum.

[Joanna Fleming]

Dan Murphy's is the place to go for the next big thing in drinks. So whether you're hosting at home or you just want to be in the know, drop in store or download the Dan Murphy's app today to get inspired and remember to drink wise. Thank you so much to Dan Murphy's for making this episode of Stylish possible. Okay, rule two, let the ambiance do the heavy lifting. So this rule comes from Jem Lester herself. She says to let the ambience do the heavy lifting at your dinner party. She says vibe injecting elements are just as important as the food. A fun paired cocktail, a handwritten menu, cozy lighting or candles, and a pre saved playlist. Do you guys agree with Jim?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah, vibes are everything.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, the vibe's not on. I'm out.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Big lights absolutely off. Oh, candlelights on.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes. Lamps.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

It's sexy. Yeah, yeah. Playlist. There's some really good playlists on Spotify. I love a little jazz playlist. Kind of reminds me of the Polo Bar in New York and gets that going. So there's a lot of Polo Bar playlists. Like, it's just like fun very much for a dinner party. Like daytime, I like something that's a little bit more vibrant and has a bit more personality. But at night, I think generally speaking, dinner party chatter is alive and well. So just soft, sexy background jazz.

[Joanna Fleming]

You have to have something in the background. It can't be silence.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, you don't.

[Joanna Fleming]

It suits the tone, especially if someone's in the kitchen, you know, definitely.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Also in a move that will shock absolutely no one, I do feel scent is important in a room as well. I know that cooking can obviously have an aroma, but we can't just have the scent of onion and garlic being cooked. So, you know, a little incense, a candle, a room spray. So nice.

[Joanna Fleming]

I also like to set the mood in the bathroom for when guests are going to the bathroom. I have a little lamp in the bathroom. Like a little standalone lamp from Target. Yeah, yeah. It's a little gold one. It's just a touch lamp.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Oh, and I put that in there and then a candle on in there. So there's a nice scent going and it's just so they don't have to flick on the big light after being upstairs in the like mood lighting and then come downstairs and like, you're a thoughtful host.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I like that. I am with great sound effects today.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Obsessed with the sound Effects. What's going on?

[Joanna Fleming]

I think I've had too much sugar.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I also want to say that if you're unsure on a vibe, lean into a theme. I have had some really fun nights at different friends dinner parties. And it's like they've actually kind of created a theme like tonight's Italian night, and you can have then, you know, an Italian meal, Italian music, and if you're really feeling adventurous, a little Italian outfit. But it's actually quite fun to, like, you know, set the tone and the vibe for what the night's gonna entail.

[Joanna Fleming]

No, I fully agree with that. One of my very good friends, Diana, I've got a whole TikTok playlist dedicated to her dinner parties.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I'm obsessed with her dinner parties, and if she's listening, very much. Looking forward to it. Annika and I are getting to come as guests.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Can we come if you're listening, Diana? And she will be, because she does listen to this podcast. Her handle is Diana cannot tell if you're looking for her TikTok, but she has the most extra dinner parties.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm here for her.

[Joanna Fleming]

This woman has a problem with buying tableware. Like, we literally have to say, wear no more enough. Like, I don't know where she puts it all, but she has so many themed sets and things that she puts out on the table. Like, she just does the most spectacular setups.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Fun.

[Joanna Fleming]

And she will theme things. Like, if it's an Italian meal that we're having, she'll have, like, Italian music going in the background. All of the dining stuff will be Italian themed. And I actually asked her for this episode. I'm like, what are some places that you would recommend people shop at or have a look at if they're wanting to buy a few little pieces? So she recommended a small little shop called Attico Home, which is in Keelore Downs in Melbourne, if you're located in the West. She loves in the Roundhouse, obviously. I think a lot of us know in the Roundhouse already. She also loves a store called Hands. Mini Max and Pillow Talk, she said, are great for some bargain options.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, I'm taking notes.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

The first time I went to Mini Max, I was like, holy shit, what have I been missing out on all my life? Oh, it was like going to IKEA for the first time. That is the only way to liken it when you're just like, oh, my God, everything is here. Like, time in my life. 550 things I didn't need, but had so much fun doing it.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

I think she probably also does the same.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, yeah, I love that.

[Joanna Fleming]

That iconic for dinner parties, but so don't feel like you have to put on a whole, like, theatrical thing and buy unnecessary stuff if that's not you. But if it's something that you really love and you're passionate about like Diana is, then I can see why.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

What Sparks toy where you want to spend your money.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I actually had the Italian. I still have them. I don't know why. I actually like. It was past tense. I have the Italian plates from in the roundhouse.

[Joanna Fleming]

Same.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And I did an Italian dinner and was like, oh, this looks chic. And then like the next month the girls all came over again and I did Mexican and they were like, it's not quite the same effect. I was like, Ms. Koozie on there. I'm like, oh, well, you'll be right. Put your taco on top and let it go. Rule number three, don't let the guests do the dishes. This comes from Jem and Arnica and some might find it a little controversial, but it's to never, ever let your guests lift a finger and do the dishes. Jem says, I never let my guests do the dishes. I would rather sit and enjoy a wine and then the post dinner chat, then have everyone hustling to clean up the mess I made. It's easily done once everyone's gone. What do you think about this rule?

[Joanna Fleming]

I always.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Is it one you follow?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Stand so strongly behind this one because I feel like your guests have come to spend time with you. The number of times I've been at a dinner party and the guests are just frantic. They're cleaning as they go or while people are there and then they miss out on some of like the best chat. And then you have like, you know, your catch up the next day and.

[Joanna Fleming]

You'Re like, oh, my God.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

And then this happened and that happened and they're like, what are you talking about? I'm like, oh, sorry, you were too busy, like scrubbing the dishes in the kitchen. I just feel like that can wait. If you're really, like bothered about the mess or if you don't have like the places to put the dishes as they kind of pile up. Do the dishes as you go. Like when you're cooking especially. Yeah, but even if it's like a barbecue, sit outside. Don't be so precious about it. Depending on what your vibe is. But yeah, I so stand strongly behind this. I just want my guests to kind of relax, have a good time and just really, like make the most of that night.

[Joanna Fleming]

I definitely agree not letting people do the dishes because I feel like that's a bit awkward. Like you're kind of doing a task together. Like, it's. I don't know, it's just weird.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

But are you anal? Do you have a way of stacking the dishes?

[Joanna Fleming]

I do. Okay, know me, Annika. There we go. Yeah. But I have the problem of having a very small kitchen. And so once the table is cleared, there would be no room for me to then serve up dessert if I didn't put those dishes in the dishwasher. So it's a bit more of like a. I've got to clear this section so that I can plate up. So there is certain situations where I would. I would do the dishes while people are there. But I know that that's kind of considered rude. Like, people say not to do that because it makes guests feel, like, uncomfortable that you're cleaning in their presence.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. I so agree if this is like a once off kind of thing. But also, no one's coming to my home that I'm even remotely uncomfortable around.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Like, these are women who've probably seen me get changed in a fitting room or we've, like, shared a room with on holiday. So I had dinner parties once a month in my old house in my backyard. Cause there was just like a period I didn't. I had, like, really bad social anxiety and I didn't love going out. So God bless all my girlfriends. They basically always came to my house, so we would go to theirs. And it got to the point that we were all so comfortable with each other that it'd be like, your turn to stack the dishwasher. Go on. But it was because it was so frequent. Yeah. Now I can't imagine a world where I would let a guest lift a finger, but because we were doing it so frequently, it'd be like, nah, you stay there. I know where the glasses are now. Don't stress.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Like, we all became so familiar and comfortable in each other's that it was just like, yeah, no, actually you can bring the dessert or, yeah, you can do the dishes. It was like we lost all manners and decorum.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I love it. Yeah. I think as well, like, I don't want to sound like that rude guest, but like, I will still at your house, like, be like, you know, I'll always put the gesture up there and be like, can I help with the dishes?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

You just judge me if I said yes.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah. Get in here. Put the gloves on. Okay. I'm ready. Of course. You have gloves. This is where the plates go off in my gloves.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

You're actually an amazing dinner party guest because Annika came over before the F1. Jo was on holiday. She wasn't left out. She was invited.

[Joanna Fleming]

I was in Paris.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And annika brought about $60 worth of McDonald's for us to eat before we went.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Girls, we must line our tummies.

[Joanna Fleming]

I absolutely love that from you. I would have been very into that.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, yeah, I love that about you.

[Joanna Fleming]

Listeners, Our friends at Dan Murphy's know exactly what's trending and what's delicious right now. Whether you're headed to a dinner party, having your girlfriends over, or organizing a date night at home, they'll help you find the next big thing in drinks. From seasonal wines to crafty cans and pre mix cocktails. Head in store for classic crowd pleasers and niche little gems or for your weekend plans inspiration. Browse Dan's trending picks online or in app today. You'll be sure to find your new favorite without the overthinking. Remember to drink wise and thank you so much to Dan Murphy's for making this episode of stylish possible. Rule 4 is always set the table first and this rule comes from re Shameless Media's head of business development and our fill in co host. Her rule is that you always need to set the table first because often we leave this to the last minute and that can be where stress and anxiety served right before people are about to arrive. So to avoid that last minute dash around, re always opts to lay out the look and feel at the beginning. Do you guys have that organized in advance?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yes.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I don't and I think this is such a great idea that I need to adopt because I feel like sometimes it's a thing I always neglect in my head. Like we actually don't have that much china or like that much crockery. And whenever I have a dinner party I'm kind of like you mad. So I've got the good china. So it's like these beautiful plates and just beautiful ceramics from a brand called Alexandrahanas and they are just stunning. So I kind of let them set the table for me so everything will be quite minimal. Like florals.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Do they get themselves out of the cupboard and walk down? They set themselves for me. I've like got beauty and the beast in my head of like this little teapot like walking up to the table.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

They do. They sit the table themselves. But no, I always I like that's this one thing I don't Know why? It's like, I just always never leave enough time to set the table, and then I get anxiety about it, and it's like, annika, this is preventable. Yeah, Totally do that first.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, I need to have that done in advance, otherwise I will be sweaty when people are arriving. So it's. It's got to be done. But I'm all for a tablecloth.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Because I don't have a tablecloth on normally, and I just think that really elevates your table setting and just makes it look like it's a dinner party. It's not just someone popping over for a coffee, you know?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. Nice.

[Joanna Fleming]

So I love to have a tablecloth and some candlesticks. I'm also a big fan of Beautiful. Yeah. Love to have those.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I love a linen napkin, too. While we're on the, you know, talking that I do think, like, a disposable.

[Joanna Fleming]

Not the same agreement.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Oh, my God. I'm like, I'm so guilty of that. If you're just coming over and there's.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Just, like, children for our McD's. For sure.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. I'll make Donald's as well.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I'll bring out the nice linen for you next time.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I would like embroidered AJS linen. Thank you.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

There's some great accounts to follow if you do want inspo for, like, tablescaping or table setting.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Georgie Lewis is an incredible TikTok. She has, like, such beautiful esthetic in the roundhouse. I know they're selling, and it's always their product, but I think great inspiration of things you might even be able to do with what you have or one or two of their items. And there's an incredible TikTok account called what Would Kayla Cook? And she also does a really. Her recipes are so easy, and they're so darn delicious, but she also does a really good job of showing how she, like, tablescapes the meals that she's cooking as well. Loves the theme as well, so right up our alley.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, cool.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Again, some bonus swaps.

[Joanna Fleming]

Okay. I'll make sure Adrian looks up what Kayla cooks for our meals next week.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

The sausage pasta is fcked up. Yum. Oh, okay, Kayla, like, I tell you what, all I need is someone to cook for me to fall in love, you know what?

[Joanna Fleming]

And it's a sausage pasta that she's after.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I had to.

[Joanna Fleming]

I feel like.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Joel, are you having a wedding registry?

[Joanna Fleming]

No.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay. Well, maybe something I loved in the lead up to our wedding. Like, we didn't actually have a registry, but people did want to give us gifts and we were like, don't. Like we actually said no if you wanted to. There was a wishing well, but some people actually started buying us the Alex and Trehanas dinnerware and all the beautiful ceramics.

[Joanna Fleming]

They do beautiful stuff.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

They're beautiful. And we've just kind of every year now our friends and family will layer on the set. So it's actually been a really nice thing. Every time we have a dinner party with those people as well, they're like, it's quite cute.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Maybe just a little tidbit, you know.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes, that is nice. I did get some tableware for my 30th actually. Some girlfriends actually bought me a lot of in the roundhouse stuff.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I Love it.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Great 30th gift.

[Joanna Fleming]

It is.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. That's so nice.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I did not think of that because.

[Joanna Fleming]

It'S like a grown up gift, you know, and very useful.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

You're leaving the whip shots behind.

[Joanna Fleming]

Didn't know where that was going for a second.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

If this was a film, we have moved so far past PG 13. We're in M if not MA.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm having a great time at the center party.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Rule number five. I feel like this is just setting me up for failure after what we've just spoken about. Rule number five, it's not a performance. Rule five comes from Jem. She says it's important to remember when you're hosting that it's not a performance. She says whoever you are hosting is there to spend time and share a meal with you. They already feel thought of and cared for the way you always do when someone goes to the effort to host and cook for you. No one expects a multi course degustation. So stick to a simple menu you know you can execute well. Your guests will be more relaxed and at ease if you are.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So this is clearly not your 30th.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Well, I didn't lift a finger, but.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We danced on that table.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Absolutely we did. And McDonald's were working hard at the fryer to get those little nuggets ready.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I love it.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

For some context there, I had McDonald's served at my 30th birthday. Just in case you wanted to know. Are you guys guilty of trading your dinner parties too much like a performance?

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I have absolutely overextended myself in the past thinking I could do it all. Trying to get creative cooking things. I don't know how to cook. Like, it's just the worst.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

It's not the time to try a new recipe. No, it's when you've got Ample guests.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

If you don't know how to make desserts, don't try and bake a cake. Don't try and make a pavlova or something like, you know, just don't even bother.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Support small and go and buy it. That's my saying. I'm like, by the time I buy everything to bake a cake, it actually is cheaper for me to go and buy a cake from someone who can make a much better cake than I.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, I would agree with that. I'm just staying relatively silent because I don't cook at all.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I was wondering what you were going to contribute. If I'm really honest, I was like, this will be so good. What's your go to. To take to someone's house?

[Joanna Fleming]

Adrienne does a really good apple pie.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

What can't Adrienne? That's what I want to know.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, he does a really good, good apple pie.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I bet he could make like a sticky date pudding as well.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, he probably could. I'd back him in to do that. Yeah. No, I do agree. Not making a performance. I'm usually in charge of just making sure the house is pristine, the table is set, the vibes are on.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

And his job is in the kitchen. And I just. I don't interfere.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I generally will go for like a pasta or a comfort meal. That's usually quite easy. I'll go and buy fresh pasta from my local market. I usually go to the pasta shop at the prime market or South Melbourne market. It got to a point that I was going this off and they started to learn my name. I was like, ooh, probably hear a little too much, but I'll do a sauce and like, just something that's like, quite nice and easy with, like, dress sleeves. I tried to extend myself once by doing like a Mexican night and doing like prawn tacos and like ceviche and all of this stuff. And the girls were like, just let us help. Cause this is, like, quite hard to watch. And I was like, barbecuing in an Oryton dress. Like, I mean, kind of iconic, but also, like, those stains are hard to get out when, like, you've got.

[Joanna Fleming]

And you've got like beads of sweat coming down the street.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, Very own Nara Smith.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. Oh, trust me, somewhere Nara was shaking at the the side of me because I was looking stressed.

[Joanna Fleming]

Genuinely. I would cry if I had to also do the setup and I also had to do the cooking. That would stress me out so much. I couldn't.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I always now try to like, if there's something I can make the night before or do anything. So when my guests come, it's so simple. Like, I'll lean into what I know as well, which is generally Italian, but just keeping it more simple and just like your favorites things you feel confident cooking. That would be my advice.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And my friends are quite honest in their feedback of whether something's delicious or shit. So I've really learned what. What I can do and what I can't.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, that's constructive.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. Feedback's a gift.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yep.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I know there's one season of the year where people always extend themselves and I laugh. Every year I go to Family Christmas because if you want to see overextension and over performance, just Christmas.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I'm like, get out of the kitchen. Like smarter, not harder. You have family members missing on Christmas Day because they're too busy in the kitchen. Yeah, I'm like, normalised. Just going to a restaurant on Christmas Day. I think we need to start bringing that back. Make restaurants at Christmas. Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Do you do that on Christmas Day?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

No. I have lobbied so hard with my family and no one listens. Or I'm like, let's just go buy stuff that's pretty made that we can.

[Joanna Fleming]

Throw in the other. We do. We do do a restaurant with Adrian's family. Yeah. For lunch. It's actually very convenient and, yeah, I love it.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Does Adrian's down a guy? Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Popsy.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. Guys, I can't believe we haven't swapped Popsy in.

[Joanna Fleming]

I know. Oh, my God. I should have swapped Pops. There's always time next week.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

All right, Rule 6, don't ask your guests to pay you back. So our sixth rule actually comes from you, our listeners. We put a call out on socials asking what your biggest dinner party no nos are. And this was by far the most common response that came through. So if you're hosting, don't ask your guests to pay back food or drink costs. What do you guys think about that?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I have never heard of this and I don't want to come off insensitive or out of touch about that because we divvy up roles. So it's really expensive to host everyone, Right? Let's say you're having four people over or six people over. Food is expensive, like, especially if people drink. Even if they don't drink, no one's having, like, water now. People want, you know, non alcoholic wines or non alcoholic seltzers.

[Joanna Fleming]

I'm happy with tap water. Just starting there.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Consider yourself invited to every dinner party. You did ask me if you could have a dinner with Miranda. So I will organize that, and you will have water. Bargain. Miranda likes French champagne. Expensive, Miranda. But it's expensive. You know, if people have the type of alcohol they like or dessert, and you're catering three courses, it can add up.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

So I think delegating tasks is helpful financially. To go, you're in charge of champagne, or can you please bring a dessert? Or. Yep, you do the cheese board. But there's not a world personally, that I've ever thought to ask someone to pay me ingredients.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I am the same. This one was really new to me, and I was like, oh, is this, like, a cool Gen Z thing? Like, is this what we do now?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Maybe.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

But I do think it needs a bit of context as well. Like, I actually really thought about this, and I was like, okay, let's say it's a hands, and you've agreed to host, and people are coming over, and it's, you know. You know, you've got to make a contribution for sure. But then I was also thinking, maybe if you're that way inclined and you're actually wanting to host but the cost factor is too much for you, why don't you have, like, a potluck instead? And then, like, you're kind of saying, lean into everyone contributing, bringing something and actually contributing in that way, rather than asking, we don't have Venmo here, but, hey, like, can you Venmo me for, like, the cheese and, like, the dips? Like, no.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

No.

[Joanna Fleming]

I didn't realize this was gonna be as commonplace as it was. Like, to get as many responses as we did with this same tip was. I was really surprised we didn't even think to put this in there. No. Like, lucky we asked you guys for your input.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. And maybe looking at my own personal experiences, there was a group that always did dinner parties together. So I guess we've kind of all taken our turns.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

So maybe it has never been a thought for us, because it's like, oh, I've got a cop. You know, the cost this time. But I know that then that group there. But we also all have a golden rule. These four girlfriends and I that do the dinners, everyone must bring a bottle of something.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Four of us drink. One's actually pregnant now, so she's not. But all four of us bring a bottle of something. And then we're all very honest about what we need people to bring, whether it's like, yeah, can you bring two avocados for my guacamole? I forgot it at the shops. Or can you bring the guacamole?

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, I probably ow Deanna About $20,000. Reflecting on this.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Why don't you just take her to Mini Max like on those tiktoks where you're like, you have 15 minutes. Because I don't want to date.

[Joanna Fleming]

Whatever. She has too much stuff.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Do you know what? I want to go to Mini Max with Tiana.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, you can.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I'll organize the dinner with Miranda. And I get to go to Mini Max.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes. Or you get to come to a Diana dinner party.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Even better. I'll take that one.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I just want to come anyway.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, you can be my plus ones.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Thank you.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. Rule number seven. I feel like this is a perfect segue. Never turn up up empty handed as a guest. So those are our six rules as a host for a dinner party. But for the last two rules, we wanna switch the focus and share the two rules for a dinner party guest. And there's also a bit of art in being a well behaved, well mannered dinner party guest. This seventh guest focus rule actually came from me and it's to never turn up empty handed. And my grandmother is six foot under applauding me right now for jumping on the mic and sharing this one. So some of my suggestions for going to a dinner party aren't always the obvious ones. Yes, it can be a dish, but some things that I love to do that I've done at dinner parties before are taking people's favorite olive oil, picking up a candle that you love that you think they might love. Might be taking some incense. If you know there's a bakery they love or that's like really in vogue at the moment. I'll go and buy, like fresh breads or rolls and things like that from that bakery. Like, all of my girlfriends love baker blue, so I'll always go and get baker blue rolls. When I was living in Albert Park, I went to Bread club because they do this incredible garlic focaccia. I'm like, it's just that nice, thoughtful thing that is. I took time and effort and energy out of my day to bring something that was thoughtful. It's not always. I've got Adrian's apple pie. Although that sounds bloody great.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, it is. It's good. We had it last night. I typically shop either with like a bag overflowing with beauty products for the people attending.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

You are doing such a good job at advocating for yourself to get an invite at my next party.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

You are always invited.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

Or we'll do Like a dessert or bring red wine.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. I honestly, like, I swear by this role. I feel like my mum ingrained this in us growing up as well. We never went anywhere empty handed, even if it meant we're gonna show up late somewhere because we had to stop and get like. Even if it's just flowers or something to say thank you. As a small token. It's actually quite a privilege to be invited to a dinner party, especially as we get older. And so now I'm like, it takes a lot of time also when you're a host and you know just what goes into it. So that gesture, like the olive oils, things like that.

[Joanna Fleming]

So thoughtful.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

And you're also invited to my din.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Thank you so much.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

But sometimes like if it comes to a meal, my go to is like a caprese salad. Like people think it's fancy.

[Joanna Fleming]

It's not.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm just chopping up like beautiful tomatoes from the markets, fresh basil. And then you can get like store bought buffalo mozzarella. It's so easy.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yum. And everyone always loves seeing it on a table.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, it's chic. It's chic for your Instagram photos, girls.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, that's a good one.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Boys.

[Joanna Fleming]

I like that.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

And anyone.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

But then also I always. Because I'm in my sober, curious journey at the moment as well, I always take a bottle of whatever I'm drink. Well as an alcoholic beer bridge, whether that's a bottle of red or like some bubbles as well. For the host as well. Yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Selfishly, I do love drinking a champagne as the first drink at a dinner party. Like that just sets.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We're celebrating, aren't we?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah. So I do love taking a bottle of champagne, but I think an olive oil is like a super chic.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Nice touch.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, Yeah, I love that.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

I love bread. So there's almost always bread. I'm always like, I'll bring the bread.

[Joanna Fleming]

Expensive. It is.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

It really is like a good one. Total side note. When I went on the girls trip to Europe, one of my girlfriends, Elle and I became fixated on olive oils. And just everywhere we went, we could buy an olive oil. And I was like, how will I explain to customs why I have all these olive oils? Like, it's so random. Very niche, very yum. It really.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I actually. This is so random as well. But when I was in Italy a couple of years ago, I became obsessed with olive oil that I imported a whole bunch back.

[Joanna Fleming]

See?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Oh, there you go. That's highway to Italy. That's how it Happened.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm not even kidding. For Christmas, all my friends got like, a really beautiful, chic little can of olive oil. And they were like, you carted this.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

All the way back from Italy with you? That's such a thoughtful gift.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. I was like, absolutely. I didn't. I dare shelter.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

But I would have been like, yes. My friends, my blood, sweat and tears.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Honestly, were like, you literally bought olive oil instead of shopping for us. Oh, my God, Anneke, that is so thoughtful. And I was like, I'm so thoughtful.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, it's a great gift. Well, you don't have to go to Italy. You can just buy Golden Groves Olive oil, which is from in the Mani Peninsula in Greece, stands by.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

It's bloody great olive oil.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, it is great olive oil. Anyway, Rule 8, as a guest, always give your hosts an extra 10 minutes. This might come as a surprise to some people, but it comes from re. And it also came up a lot in our listener submissions on socials. And it's always to give your host an extra 10 minutes. If you're expected there at 7pm, Rhee says to arrive at 7:10pm I'm usually a stickler for being on time, but when it comes to hosting, Sometimes the extra 10 minutes makes a big difference to your host. Feeling relaxed and present and throughout the evening. That comes from re. Is this something that you guys do?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Rey Joyce, I call bullshit on this. You have been at my house on time early. Maybe we're just that comfortable together. Yeah, I think maybe if you haven't broken the fourth wall. Yes, an extra 10 minutes is nice. I'm also, generally speaking, just really bad at managing my Uber time. Like, I always forget about the wait time. So I'll look up how long it takes me to drive somewhere and forget I need to wait for the Uber.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, yeah, fair.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Do you guys do it?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

If I'm by myself, I'm generally on time if James is invited and coming too. That man has no sense of urgency.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Like, that's be nice.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

No sense of urgency whatsoever. To the point where I'm like sweating bullets and I'm like, the Uber's here, We've gotta go.

[Joanna Fleming]

And he sounds really familiar.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

It's actually like he's Dyson ing his hair.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

He sounds like me.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, he's Matt's. And I'm just like, hun, get in the car. And like, he just. He simply cannot. Like, we are always late because of J. Now our friends will tell us dinner starts at 7, when it's actually 7:30. In the hope that we're on time.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. And they all know it's James. They know it's not me.

[Joanna Fleming]

Okay.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So he's honestly always in the shit with everyone. But then they always have to compliment that man's hair.

[Joanna Fleming]

So it's.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

He's like, this doesn't just happen, guys. This doesn't just happen.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

When you see it and touch it, you'll get it.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

When we're over at our dinner, just.

[Joanna Fleming]

Going, I hope we get the opportunity one day.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Do you mind?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Love it.

[Joanna Fleming]

I usually like to be early for things. Like, I like to be 10 to 15 minutes early. But when you're rocking up to someone's house, I think that last 15 minutes, where you're trying to get your shit together and get the kitchen organized and get dishes done and get the table set, it can be a bit stressful.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Yeah.

[Joanna Fleming]

So I don't mind if people are a few minutes late.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, I'm the same. Honestly, if you're late at my house, I'm so. I'm so happy about that because I probably haven't even set the table yet.

[Joanna Fleming]

Like, it would give me anxiety if you were 15 minutes early or half an hour early and you're like, oh, I just. Just was on time. Oh, were you? Because now I'm sweating and now you're.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Sitting on my couch watching me stress.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Can I ask a bonus question?

[Joanna Fleming]

Of course.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Well, we're talking dinner parties, and I feel like I constantly. Drop dead or alive. Who's coming? You get one dinner party celebrity guest. Who are you inviting?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, okay. Tupac.

[Joanna Fleming]

Why can I suddenly not think of a single celebrity?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I love Tupac.

[Joanna Fleming]

What's yours?

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Victoria Beckham. I'll make vodka pasta. It's my specialty, so I'll do that. Adrian can bring the apple pie and, yes, he will.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Carbon salad, the caprice thing.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah. And James can have his hair. Dyson, it's at 7.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

7:30 for you. That is all for this week's episode of Stylish. Thank you very much for joining us. And of course, thank you very much, Annika Joshi Smith and Joanna Fleming. Remember that you can drop us an email [e-mail] or you can slide into our DMs over at Stylish Pod. Of course, a huge thank you to Jam Lester as well, who I have clearly fangirled over after tasting her delicious recipes. But thank you for all of your dinner party insights. And, of course, a very big thank you to our usual contributors, audio engineer Jonathan Last and the Shameless media team, head of podcast Lucy Hunt and senior podcast producer Kate Emmerburg. We'll be right back with you next Wednesday, and you'll get to learn all about Popsy then.

[Joanna Fleming]

Yay. Can't wait.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

Could we bring her?

[Joanna Fleming]

Cool. I don't know if she'd come this far.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

She's like, what am I doing here?

[Joanna Fleming]

Yeah, when you said, your grandma's six feet under, I almost said popsicles at the underground cubby house.

[Madison Sullivan Thorpe]

This podcast was recorded on Wurundjeri land.

[Joanna Fleming]

Always was, always will be aboriginal land.