Podcast Summary: Suave – "Parole & The Pursuit of Happiness" (Ep. 2)

Episode Overview

In the second episode of Season 2, titled "Parole & The Pursuit of Happiness," hosted by Futuro Media, listeners delve deep into the ongoing struggles of former juvenile lifer, David Luis Suave Gonzalez, as he navigates life seven years after his release from prison. Despite apparent stability—career advancements, a committed relationship, and public recognition—Suave grapples with the complex reality of freedom under lifetime parole. This episode explores the enduring impact of incarceration on Suave's mental state, daily routines, relationships, and his relentless pursuit of true happiness.

Life Post-Incarceration: The Illusion of Freedom

The episode opens with Suave's candid admission of feeling confined despite his physical freedom. At [01:37], he states:

"Sometimes I do think that I was better off locked up. And that's hard to say, but it's the truth."

This sentiment encapsulates Suave's internal struggle with the lasting psychological effects of a prolonged prison sentence. Although released, Suave feels as though he's still serving time, trapped by the stringent conditions of his parole.

Daily Restrictions and Mental Struggles

Suave's apartment, though modest, symbolizes a "high-class prison cell" ([03:16]), highlighting the stark contrast between his past confinement and present living conditions. He details the difficulties in adjusting to everyday life:

"Sometimes I just take a sheet or quilt, put it on the floor and lay on the floor." [03:59]

These actions reflect his lingering prison habits, making it challenging to find comfort in his newfound freedom.

The concept of "count time," a prison routine of waking up at a specific hour, persists in his daily life:

"Every morning at home, it's almost the same thing. I get up, Bella and me are on count time together." [04:13]

This adherence to prison-like schedules underscores the deep-seated impact of incarceration on his daily routines.

The Harsh Reality of Lifetime Parole

The core of the episode centers around the constraints of Suave's lifetime parole. At [07:05], Suave explains:

"And that means basically, you still incarcerated. You just serving your time out in society."

Suave enumerates the numerous restrictions imposed by his parole, emphasizing the limitations on his personal freedoms:

• Movement Restrictions: "I can't travel without permission. I can't move from one house to another without asking permission." [07:42]
• Social Limitations: "I can't be around certain people. I can't go to certain establishments." [07:58]
• Substance Prohibitions: "I can't drink. I cannot smoke a little bit of weed or smoke me a Philly blunt." [08:06]

These rules create a perpetual sense of confinement, making Suave's freedom conditional and fragile.

Anxiety and Fear in Everyday Activities

Suave's fear extends to mundane activities like driving. He expresses intense anxiety about being stopped by police:

"I am really, really, really afraid to get stopped by the police. The minute they stop you and they find out you on parole, you're getting handcuffs now, your car getting searched..." [10:23]

This fear significantly restricts his ability to perform everyday tasks, such as running errands, without relying on others for assistance.

Legal Obstacles to Release from Parole

The episode explores the arduous process of seeking release from lifetime parole. Suave mentions the need to file for "complete commutation from the Pardon Board" ([11:03]), which requires:

1. Attorney General's Vote: A preliminary approval.
2. Unanimous Support: Garnering unanimous votes before escalating to the governor.

Suave reflects on the improbability of this process:

"It's almost like hitting the lottery." [11:17]

With nearly seven years served, Suave remains uncertain about his prospects for obtaining true freedom.

Social and Emotional Isolation

Suave's relationships, especially with former prison friends, illustrate the profound changes since his release. A poignant moment occurs when Suave recounts a barbecue with old friends where potential parole violations nearly surfaced:

"We started off singing karaoke with Hector Labor, and we had a few drinks." [12:31]

Fortunately, the situation didn't escalate, but it underscores the constant vigilance required to maintain compliance.

Suave grapples with the emotional toll of distancing from old friends who no longer share his parole-bound reality:

"Sometimes it just feels like, damn, I'm jealous." [16:57]

This jealousy stems from seeing friends on parole continuing their lives without the same restrictions, highlighting his feelings of being perpetually tethered to his past.

Atlanta Visit: A Glimpse into His Dual Reality

The narrative shifts to Suave's visit to Atlanta, where he attends a criminal justice reform conference and an artist showcase at Stanconia Studios. Despite initial excitement, Suave's encounter with a potentially dangerous environment exacerbates his anxiety:

"If somebody bumps into me, I got to be the one to bitch up and be like, oh, my bad..." [20:23]

The abundance of guns and the volatile atmosphere in Atlanta forces Suave to leave swiftly, fearing parole violations and personal safety threats.

Parole as a Double-Edged Sword

In a thought-provoking twist, Suave considers parole as both a restriction and a protective structure:

"I gotta have structure. I can't be, like, free to go. Just do what you see, what you think is best." [26:25]

He acknowledges that without the guidelines provided by parole, he might relapse into detrimental behaviors:

"I know that if I didn't have that safety net or rope, I don't know, I'd probably be in some other shit..." [26:25]

This duality presents parole as both a cage and a lifeline, offering safety at the cost of autonomy.

Navigating Identity and Relationships

Suave reflects on his transformed identity post-incarceration, struggling to reconcile his past persona with his current constrained existence. He expresses discomfort with newfound roles in relationships:

"How is it that I became the mother figure in your fucking life? Because that's not what I want to be." [28:45]

This role reversal signifies the complexities of rebuilding relationships under the shadow of his parole conditions.

Conclusion: The Perpetual Struggle for True Freedom

"Parole & The Pursuit of Happiness" poignantly captures Suave's ongoing battle between the desire for absolute freedom and the reality of his constrained existence under lifetime parole. The episode underscores the enduring impact of incarceration, the psychological barriers to true reintegration, and the delicate balance Suave maintains between compliance and personal fulfillment.

As the episode concludes, Suave's struggles serve as a powerful commentary on the broader issues of the criminal justice system and the challenges faced by those seeking to rebuild their lives after long-term incarceration.

Notable Quotes

• Suave on Feeling Trapped:
  "Sometimes I do think that I was better off locked up. And that's hard to say, but it's the truth." [01:37]

• On Lifetime Parole:
  "And that means basically, you still incarcerated. You just serving your time out in society." [07:05]

• Expressing Anxiety About Driving:
  "I am really, really, really afraid to get stopped by the police. The minute they stop you and they find out you on parole, you're getting handcuffs now..." [10:23]

• On Parole as Structure:
  "I gotta have structure. I can't be, like, free to go. Just do what you see, what you think is best." [26:25]

• Reflecting on Identity:
  "When it comes to friends, I don't even know what that is. I come from a place where there is no friends." [28:39]

Closing Remarks

This episode of Suave provides a deeply intimate look into the life of a man striving for happiness while tethered by the long shadow of parole. Through Suave's narrative, listeners gain a nuanced understanding of the complexities surrounding life after incarceration and the elusive quest for genuine freedom.