Suave Reflects on the Car Incident – Bonus Episode

Podcast: Suave
Host: Futuro Media (Maria Hinojosa & Suave)
Episode: Bonus – “Suave Reflects On The Car Incident”
Release Date: May 14, 2025

Episode Overview

In this exclusive bonus episode for Futuro Plus subscribers, Maria Hinojosa and David Luis “Suave” Gonzalez open up about a pivotal, deeply personal incident that took place during the production of Season 2. Using the disappearance of Suave’s car as a starting point, they peel back the layers of unresolved trauma from decades of incarceration and transition to freedom. This conversation is an unfiltered insight into the psychological toll of prison, the ongoing effects of trauma, the challenge of rebuilding relationships, and the healing power of community and apology.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Incident as a Turning Point

• [00:48] Maria introduces the car incident: Suave’s car disappeared, and he was unable to get help from the police. This sparked deep frustration and a series of emotional challenges, culminating in a text of apology sent by Suave to Maria and Julieta.
• The car was “just an excuse” – the real issue was unresolved trauma that resurfaced during this crisis.
• The hosts make clear their intent to use this moment to discuss deeper issues, not just recount the incident.

Trauma Beyond the Prison Walls

• [03:16] Suave: “It wasn't even about a car…The car was just an excuse that creeped up on me…It was about the trauma. It was about trauma that I never dealt with since I was incarcerated or after incarceration.”
• Suave describes walking around with trauma from being taken advantage of, abused, abandoned, not trusting people, and life-long paranoia—conditions that were intensified by prison.
• Prison, Suave says, fundamentally changed him: “No prison make me that way. That's what this is, a prison thing, right? That I haven't been able to shake off.” [06:01]

The Cycle of Survival and Self-Sabotage

• Suave details a cascade of events: struggles in intimate relationships, self-isolation (“I'm good for ghosting people and been a victim”), and feeling that people would take advantage of his parole status.
• [07:05] “I left the house for months. No phone call. I'm good for ghosting people and been a victim. So all this happened when that was happening. So I was like, oh man, this is too much. …I'm feeling like I want to hurt somebody.”
• Suave points out the danger of being pushed to a breaking point where old, survival-based reactions kick in: “If I act in a certain way, all they got to do is call parole. I'm back in jail. So I'mma give you a reason. And once I start telling myself that, that’s when it becomes dangerous.” [07:46]

The Pain of Being Labeled

• During an intervention with Maria, Julieta and Brody, a comment about his mental health became a triggering point for Suave.
• [08:42] “She sounded like the fucking doctor that said I was mentally retarded … I always say there's a lot of people out here don’t understand…When you’re talking to somebody that's been labeled mentally all his fucking life…When you start talking about mental health, it feels like you attacking them. It feels like you using them, labels against them. And that's how I felt at the time.”
• The deep ambivalence toward help is rooted in institutional mistrust and a lifetime of being labeled and surveilled.

The Weight of Relationships and Guilt

• Maria reflects on the impossibility of fully understanding Suave’s experience, even after knowing him for 32 years.
• Suave expresses remorse: “…nobody deserved to be dragged into this drama. Nobody. …I feel almost embarrassed, like, dang, I put them through all that.” [13:00–14:00]
• Suave recognizes that friends and family often don’t know how to recognize or address trauma in formerly incarcerated loved ones.
• [10:48] “It would have been beneficial for me, if somebody would have said, you know what? Before you get a job, let me take you to some therapy. …Because it's gonna come to a point where all that is gonna cave in and you ain’t gonna know how to deal with it.”

The Reality of Post-Prison Life

• Many people mistakenly assume that getting a job and being productive means someone is thriving post-release.
• Surveillance by loved ones can feel like returning to prison.
• Suave: “Because when people in prison tell you they love you, that mean they want something out of you.” [11:45]
• The trauma can cause someone to miss out on love, friendship, and deeper connections due to ingrained survival mechanisms.

Advice to Others Incarcerated or Recently Released

• [15:19] “Deal with the trauma while you in there before you come home.”
• Suave emphasizes the need for self-reflection and facing emotional pain while incarcerated, so it doesn’t explode after release.
• He candidly admits he did not process personal losses, violence, or pain while inside: “I never worked with my feelings. I never dealt with the death of my grandfather…I never really dealt with watching people get stabbed and sexually assaulted in the prison system, and you can't do shit about it. …That's not normal.” [16:34–17:44]
• These unprocessed traumas resurface, often violently, when triggered even years later.

The Need for Systemic Support – Therapy and Community

• Maria and Suave discuss the lack of mental health infrastructure for reentry, and float the idea of a volunteer movement of clinical social workers for returning citizens.
• [18:32] “Yes…at least before that person come out, at least six, seven months before that person come out.”
• Suave credits the Futuro Media team’s care and insistence as a form of “free therapy” that saved him from acting on destructive impulses.
• The realness of that support (“We’re coming to Philly, we’re going to be there, and you can’t get rid of us”) was a turning point, pushing him to seek professional help.

Letting Go of Old Survival Skills & Embracing Change

• There is constant tension between letting old behaviors go and preserving the tools that kept Suave alive for decades.
• [22:08] “Seven years may seem like a long time, but it's really not. I'm still getting used to being free.”
• Suave commits to stop using his “prison toolbox” for survival in the free world: “Letting go is hard because letting go would mean that I'm being stripped of everything I learned to survive. But I'm not. I refuse today to walk around with that trauma…That’s not it. I refuse to do that.” [23:03]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“It wasn't even about a car. The car was just an excuse that creeped up on me…it was about trauma that I never dealt with since I was incarcerated or after incarceration.”
– Suave, [03:16]

“No prison make me that way. That's what this is, a prison thing, right? That I haven't been able to shake off.”
– Suave, [06:01]

“I'm good for ghosting people…So all this happened when that was happening. So I was like, oh man, this is too much. …I'm feeling like I want to hurt somebody.”
– Suave, [07:05]

“When you're talking to somebody that's been labeled mentally all his fucking life…when you start talking about mental health, it feels like you attacking them. It feels like you using them, labels against them.”
– Suave, [08:42]

“Before you get a job, let me take you to some therapy…Because it's gonna come to a point where all that is gonna cave in and you ain't gonna know how to deal with it.”
– Suave, [10:48]

“Because when people in prison tell you they love you, that mean they want something out of you.”
– Suave, [11:45]

“Deal with the trauma while you in there before you come home.”
– Suave, [15:19]

“I never worked with my feelings. I never dealt with the death of my grandfather…I never really dealt with watching people get stabbed and sexually assaulted in the prison system, and you can't do shit about it. …That's not normal.”
– Suave, [16:34]

“Letting go is hard because letting go would mean that I'm being stripped of everything I learned to survive. But I'm not. I refuse today to walk around with that trauma…That’s not it. I refuse to do that.”
– Suave, [23:03]

Episode Structure & Timestamps

• [00:00–00:48]: Opening, exclusivity for subscribers, setting up the Car Incident as Season 2’s turning point.
• [00:48–03:16]: Maria reads Suave’s apology; table set for a deeper discussion about the true cause—trauma.
• [03:16–07:46]: Suave explores the deeper trauma, paranoia, relational ruptures, difficulty trusting, self-reflection.
• [08:07–09:53]: The intervention, triggers around “mental health,” impact of labeling from childhood.
• [09:53–12:53]: Maria on the impossibility of fully understanding; Suave on the need for systemic reentry therapy.
• [12:53–14:43]: Suave’s apology, regret for dragging loved ones into his chaos, and realization about trauma’s reach.
• [14:43–16:17]: Advice to currently or formerly incarcerated people; warning about the danger of ignoring trauma.
• [16:17–18:12]: Reflection on the absence of prison mental health and Suave’s own emotional stunting in prison.
• [18:12–19:38]: Dreaming of a volunteer therapist movement; support as therapy; producers as lifelines.
• [19:38–21:33]: Healing through community, the importance of tangible support, and the lingering effects of trauma.
• [21:33–23:44]: Maria on prison reinforcing “arrested development”; Suave’s commitment to healing and change.
• [23:44–End]: Closing gratitude, acknowledgement that the work of healing is ongoing.

Closing Reflection

Suave’s candor about his struggles brings listeners closer to the untold reality for thousands returning from incarceration. This conversation urges listeners—and systems—to better understand the hidden cost of prison, the lifelong process of managing trauma, and the transformative power of honest dialogue and unwavering support.