Lessons - She Got Fired by Her Bully Boss and Built a Bigger Career From Scratch | Heather Monahan - Author of Overcome Your Villains

Summary

Success Story Podcast with Scott D. Clary

Episode: Lessons – She Got Fired by Her Bully Boss and Built a Bigger Career From Scratch

Guest: Heather Monahan, Author of Overcome Your Villains

Date: June 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the journey of Heather Monahan after being fired by a toxic boss. The discussion centers on resilience in the wake of career setbacks, the pivotal role of public accountability in accelerating recovery, the necessity of removing oneself from toxic environments, and the power of intentional, daily confidence-building practices. Heather delivers actionable insights for anyone facing professional disruption, emphasizing the long-term benefits of reclaiming self-worth and fostering personal momentum.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rebounding from Sudden Career Setbacks

[02:02–04:12]

• After being fired, Heather emphasizes the range of emotional responses, highlighting that some people may experience clinical depression and need to seek professional help.
• She recalls her own story: “[Some] sit around in my house crying every single day… that’s not okay. You need to get help and get out of that. I’m grateful I didn’t have the… I was sad. I was in shock for sure.” (Heather Monahan, 02:32)
• What set her apart was holding herself accountable—publicly. Announcing her job loss on social media forced her to take action and seek new opportunities.

Notable Quote:

“I held myself accountable publicly. That’s reverse engineering accountability. For me, that really works.”
– Heather Monahan [03:09]

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2. Firing the “Villain” – Both External and Internal

[04:12–05:08]

• The conversation turns to the concept of firing personal “villains”—not just hostile colleagues, but also the inner critic.
• Heather states: “The most important villain you’re ever gonna fire is the one between your own two ears… However, I’ve learned it’s easier to tackle that villain when I get rid of the ones that are around me, because if they’re around me, they’re feeding the one within me.” (Heather Monahan, 04:41)
• Removing toxic individuals makes space for positivity, reducing internal negative self-talk.

Notable Quote:

“When I was working side by side with people that would smile at me and stab me in the back every chance I got, those were villains in my life… Once I removed all of them from my life, I created opportunity and space for positive people to start showing up.”
– Heather Monahan [08:17]

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3. Confidence Campaigns: Advertising for Yourself

[09:06–12:53]

• Drawing from 25 years in advertising, Heather explains how she used marketing tactics to build her own confidence.
• She designed an “ad campaign” for herself; creating visual and audio cues, repeated mantras, and daily rituals.
• Techniques included combining a strong message (“Fear is a green light. That means go and go faster.”), visual aids (life-size cutouts of herself), empowering songs, and constant repetition.
• Heather notes this rigorous self-promotion prepared her for being fired, ensuring she could navigate the moment with poise.

Notable Quote:

“I put the work and the effort into something that I don’t think people necessarily think about every day: ‘How am I working on my confidence today?’ I did.”
– Heather Monahan [12:07]

• The key lesson: Practice confidence every day, not just when crises hit. Being prepared allows for graceful responses under pressure.

“Never react, only respond. And when you react, you’re allowing someone else to control you.”
– Heather Monahan [12:42]

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4. How to Handle Passive-Aggressive Colleagues and Evaluate New Opportunities

[13:41–15:56]

• The host shares a scenario about a friend considering a high-stakes executive role, but doubts linger due to a passive-aggressive peer.
• Heather prescribes a direct solution:
  • Schedule a face-to-face, one-on-one conversation with the potential antagonist.
  • Openly address perceived tension, asking, “Is there a way you and I could work together and flourish together? Or, do you think this is something we can’t work out?”
  • If the person is honest about their feelings, conflict can sometimes be resolved. If denied or deflected, it signals deeper cultural issues.
• Heather cautions: “If that person’s thriving, succeeding at that level, that’s what’s accepted in that organization. That is not the organization for you.”
  (Heather Monahan, 15:53)

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On public accountability:
  “For me, it was putting that post up that first day, which really started the whole process.”
  – Heather Monahan [03:09]

• On toxic workplaces:
  “I started thinking, if I dim my light a little bit, maybe it’ll allow her to shine a little bit more. And that got in my head, right? Dimming your light’s never gonna make the world a more positive place, right? That is never the answer.”
  – Heather Monahan [10:32]

• On preparedness and confidence:
  “Luckily for me, I did [my confidence campaign] about a month before she fired me… I was a much more confident version of myself when I went in, when she fired me.”
  – Heather Monahan [12:07]

• On choosing work environments:
  “If that person's thriving, succeeding at that level, that's what's accepted in that organization. That is not the organization for you.”
  – Heather Monahan [15:53]

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Practical Takeaways

• Hold yourself publicly accountable to move forward after setbacks.
• Identify and remove toxic influences—both external and internal.
• Develop daily confidence rituals, treating self-worth like a brand to promote.
• Prepare for hard conversations before accepting new professional opportunities.
• Choose organizations aligned with your values and emotional safety.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:02 – Coping with sudden job loss & the importance of public accountability
• 04:12 – Firing external and internal “villains”
• 08:17 – Toxic colleagues amplify self-doubt
• 09:06 – Building a personal confidence campaign (marketing style)
• 12:42 – Responding, not reacting, in tough moments
• 13:41 – Navigating passive-aggressive workplace dynamics
• 15:53 – Choosing the right organizational culture

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This episode offers both inspiration and actionable advice for those navigating toxic work environments or rebuilding after major career setbacks, engaging listeners with practical examples and Heather Monahan's signature blend of candor, strategy, and positivity.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[Interviewer]

What do you think allowed you when, when you were fired? You handled it very gracefully. You were quote, unquote, fine. I mean, you built out, you know, you already had a little community, you sort of doubled down on that. But a lot of people that are fired don't always rebound so quickly, so easily. What do you think the difference is between somebody that can be fired, hit like, you know, rock bottom, quote unquote, and still be okay, versus somebody who hits rock bottom and stays there for way too long?

[Guest Expert]

Well, listen, I'm not a doctor, right? So I don't know, there are some people that Maybe they have ptsd, like some people mentally. And I don't ever want to gloss over. Like, no, that is real. Like, some people get depressed, right? And if that happens to you, you need to go get help. You need a doctor. Some people need medication. What. And no shame for any of that. You are like, you have to ask for help. Raise your hand and say, like, this isn't okay. Sitting around in my house crying every single day at, you know, for. For more than a few days. That's not okay. You need to get help and get out of that. I'm grateful I didn't have the. I mean, I was sad. I was in shock for sure.

[Interviewer]

Clinical.

[Guest Expert]

I didn't have a clinical diagnosis of depression or anything else. So, you know, I was able to pick myself up. I held myself accountable publicly. That's reverse engineering accountability. And for me, that really works. I. I did the same thing when I wanted to write my second book, but I was like, oh, I'm being lazy. Why am I not getting this done? I posted, I've got a new book coming out. I can't wait for you to read it. And then I got bombarded with messages. When is it coming out? What's the title? And that forces me to say, I got to serve these people. I got to get moving, Right? So you need to know yourself on some level. What. What is it going to be that's going to help push you over that hump? For me, it was putting that post up that first day, which really started the whole process. And I just knew. Listen, I likened getting divorced. If no one knows you're divorced, no one's going to ask you out. So you need to raise your hand, say, I'm suddenly single. I gotta let people on divorce. Getting fired is no different. No one knew I was fired. There was no big news announcement that went out the day that it happened. I need to raise my hand and say, I've been fired. I'm ready to go to work and find other opportunities who can help me, you know, make that happen.

[Interviewer]

The. The. So all of this is like, this, this. I'm trying to think of the best word for it. So you're. You're going through this process mentally to get over this, like, really traumatizing point in your life. And it has to do with putting yourself out there, creating accountability, all this stuff. But what. Is there anything else that allows you to get to the point where, like, you have fired your villain in your head, so you're doing all these steps. So what's the point where you like, close the book and you're like, I fired the villain.

[Guest Expert]

I mean, gosh, that's like a deep question. Because the most, well, it can go on forever. And the most important villain you're ever gonna fire is the one between your own two ears, in my opinion.

[Interviewer]

Right?

[Guest Expert]

Like that's, that's where the negative self talk comes. That's. You have more thoughts in a day than any conversation you have with anybody. Like, it's really down to you. However, I've learned it's easier to tackle that villain when I get rid of the ones that are around me, because if they're around me, they're feeding the one within me. And, and I'm never going to.

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[Guest Expert]

Get out of that.

[Interviewer]

When do you mean like actual people or you mean thoughts influences? What do you mean?

[Guest Expert]

I mean when I was working side by side with people that would smile at me and stab me in the back every chance I got, those were villains in my life, right? And when I worked with people like that, the negative inner thoughts that I had were amplified times 100 because they're just feeding, helping to feed and grow that negativity within my own mind. Once I removed all of them from my life, I created opportunity and space for positive people Start showing up. When I was surrounded with positive people that were my champions, those negative thoughts stopped. They certainly got down to a much lower level. And then I was able to get clear and say, oh, I need to get rid of the rest of these inside.

[Interviewer]

Okay, that makes sense. And one thing that you also do. And this, this ties back to confidence before, but it's also playing into firing your villain. How do you run these confidence campaigns? You have confidence campaigns that help you again, solve for this. So what does this actually mean?

[Guest Expert]

Okay, so I was in the advertising business for 25 years. Media, right. So I, my job was to drive revenue. That means I would go meet with, you know, GE and talk to them about ad campaigns to sell their newest dishwasher. I'm making it up, right? So one of the things that I learned, I became very proficient in being successful in helping people create strong ad campaigns. Well, you need to have a great call to action. You need to have a jingle that people, it's going to get into people's mind that they're not going to be able to forget you. Right. You need to be. When you couple an audio message with a visual, it's much more powerful and impactful. I just used all of these steps that I had learned through creating ad campaigns for customers and I created an ad campaign for myself. I talked to you a little bit about this. I was working side by side with a CFO who didn't like me. She wasn't overtly in my face. She was covertly and passive aggressive. Very passive aggressive, very behind the scenes, very much stab in the back. That made it more challenging. I'm a very outgoing person. So when I did confront her a couple times, hey, I feel like something's wrong. You're not responding to my email. It feels difficult to work with you. Did I do something to upset you? Do you? Can we clear the air? And she'd smile. No, I was fine. And so I didn't know how to fix this problem. And I never thought, remove yourself from this environment, you're at the wrong table. You're sitting with people who don't support you and aren't encouraging you. They're trying to sabotage you. So I stayed in an environment where someone was sabotaging me and it was just, it was eroding at my confidence in a very silent.

[Interviewer]

Because you feel like you're going crazy.

[Guest Expert]

You feel like you're going crazy and you just don't feel as good about yourself because you know why. I knew somewhere down deep I needed to leave, but I never pulled the trigger and I didn't do it. So every day that I'd show back up at work and see some other BS that was going on, I felt worse about myself. And so I became a B rate version of myself. I started thinking, if I dim My light a little bit, maybe it allow her to shine a little bit more. And that got in my head, right? So all these horrible. Dimming your lights never gonna make the world a more positive place, right? That is never the answer. So I was doing all the things that I innately knew were wrong in hopes I could impact how she felt about me. You can't make someone feel positive about you, right? But I was just in. Not in a good headspace at the time. Cut to. I decided, hey, Heather, this is out of control. Like, what are you doing? You need to change this. And so that's when I had this coming to meeting with myself. I said, run an ad campaign for yourself, about yourself and start boosting your own confidence. And so that's what I did. I. My call to action was fear is a green light. That means go and go faster. I created the vision, which was that life size cut out of me. I married it with the I am Kendrick Lamar song, which is like, I love myself, right? Like, I. I did all the same things I would do for my clients and customers. I did it for me. And I played it on repeat seven to ten times a day because frequency sells and ingrains in your mind. And so I would focus on this. I would own my mantras every day. I am confident. I am powerful. I am good enough. Like, I went back to the basics. I started writing on the bottom of my shoes. I can, I will. Like, I really. I put the work and the effort in to something that I don't think people necessarily think about every day. Like, how am I working on my confidence today? I did.

[Interviewer]

Many people do.

[Guest Expert]

No, I don't think they do. Because if you really get literal and focused on it, you can do it. Anyone can do. And I definitely did it. So luckily for me, I did that about a month before she fired me. And thank goodness, I had been working on my confidence. I was a much more confident version of myself when I went in, when she fired me, and she was rude and, you know, all smiles and laughing when she was firing me. And one of the things I've learned is never react, only respond. And when you're in a difficult situation, you need to take your breath and pause, but when you react, you're allowing someone else to control you. And so I wouldn't let her control me. And I was able to pause and have grace and smile and say, you know, if you have nothing else to say to me, I'll be leaving. And I handled myself with a lot of confidence and grace in that moment, which I'm really proud of.

[Interviewer]

You know what I think so smart that you work on this actively because I think actually with confidence, just to your point that you just made, I think what a lot of people do is they always want to be more confident. Everybody wants to be more confident. But they only ever test themselves when they get in the arena and in a high tension conversation or an argument. And they measure, okay, well, I didn't screw that one up too much. And that's not my new measure of confidence. But it's like the only way I can equate that to is if you like stepped on for like an NBA All Star game and you didn't practice all season or play any games and then like that's how you measure your performance. Because you don't put yourself in situations where you're actively trying to learn and grow. And this is like not just confidence, this is anything that is like a soft skill. People just kind of flippantly do it whenever they're asked to do it, but they never practice doing it.

[Guest Expert]

Right.

[Interviewer]

I love this. I want to ask because now you know, as you tell me this story, when we first started, we're speaking about women supporting women. And some of your story really resonates with me because I hear stories of other women executives that are dealing with things. I'll give you a story. Obviously we'll not name names, but this, I want you to give advice in this situation. So I have a really good friend. She's very, very successful. Multiple exits. She sold two, three, three companies. So she's thinking about going into a new president role. And there's the founder of the company. He has a chief strategy officer and then she'd be the president and the chief strategy officer. Is that passive aggressive? She's been there for 15 years. She's like everything you just said. But she's not like explicitly being an asshole. It's just like you can tell that she doesn't want the new woman in there. And it's really sad because it's like a great opportunity. So what do you do? Do you walk away before? Because like right now we're in like the. I'm not even sure if I want to do this stage. That's where she's at.

[Guest Expert]

She hasn't taken the job.

[Interviewer]

She hasn't taken it yet.

[Guest Expert]

She needs to have a one on one conversation with the chief strategy officer.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that's the only way to deal with it. And, but, but what if she is gaslighting? What if she is Passive aggressive.

[Guest Expert]

Then you can't work side by side with that person. Then it's. Then it's up to you. I would go in and have the conversation with the person first. Give that person the benefit of the doubt. Right. Sometimes we only. Maybe the person's scared and jealous. We don't know. But maybe once this woman calls around and says, hey, I just want to clear the air. I feel like you're not excited about me being here. Have I done something to offend you? Can. Is there a way you think you and I could work together and flourish together? Or do you think that there, this is something that, that we can't, you know, stitch, stitch together work out fine. Let that person empty their face to face one. Face to face, one on one. Don't do that in front of somebody else. What? That person empties their glass and they say, you know what? I didn't realize I was being an. You know what? I'm intimidated by you. Thank you for bringing this mind. Look, it could be a million different things or it could be. I don't know what you're talking about. And if, if that's it, then we know that person is not going to change. They are going to keep this. You know, this is the culture of what's acceptable. And if that person's thriving, succeeding at that level, that's what's accepted in that organization. That is not the organization for you.

[Podcast Host]

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