Podcast Summary

Success Story with Scott D. Clary

Episode: Lessons - The Science of Human Behavior | Dr. John Demartini
Release Date: January 3, 2026
Guests: Dr. John Demartini (Human Behavior Expert)

Episode Overview

In this episode, host Scott D. Clary explores the foundational science of human behavior and personal values with renowned expert Dr. John Demartini. Their candid discussion unpacks how individual values shape career choices, financial decisions, fulfillment, and the outcomes we experience in life and business. The conversation demystifies the process of accurately identifying your core values (beyond social expectations) and offers practical, science-backed strategies for re-aligning values to achieve growth, prosperity, and a sense of purpose.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Values (03:28)

• Dr. Demartini traces his four-decade journey studying values, highlighting that most people misunderstand or misidentify their true values.
• Quote: “When you ask somebody what their values are...they will tell you injected values of outer authorities...their mothers, their fathers, their preachers...They will tell you things that have nothing to do with what their life demonstrates.” (Dr. Demartini, 03:44)
• Insight: Values are often absorbed from society but are best recognized through actions, not declarations.

2. How to Identify Your Values (06:49)

Dr. Demartini shares a practical framework for uncovering authentic values—focusing on observable behavior, not wishful thinking.
The 13-Question Method:

- Proxemics: What Fills Your Space (05:01)

- What are the three most consistent items you keep close? (e.g., your computer, a journal)
- “Anything that's valuable goes proximal and they keep close to them.” *(Dr. Demartini, 05:09)*

- Time: Where You Spend or Make Time (06:49)

- How do you consistently make time or spend time?
- “You make time, find time, spend time and create time for things that are really valuable to you.” *(06:52)*

- Energy: What Energizes You (08:37)

- What activities elevate your energy and enthusiasm?
- “Whenever you're doing something that's high in your value, your energy goes up...You procrastinate and hesitate on things that aren’t.” *(08:43)*

- Money: Where You Spend or Find Money (09:50)

- The things you don’t fail to find money for are typically of high personal value.
- “There's no lack of money on this planet...when [people] really have a value on something.” *(10:28)*

- Order & Discipline: Where You’re Most Organized/Reliable (10:50)

- Clues to values are found in what you keep organized and in which you maintain discipline daily.
- “You can rely on me to be teaching, you can rely on me to be researching and writing. But you can’t rely on me to socialize at a party.” *(Dr. Demartini, 11:23)*

- Internal Dialogue & Visualization (14:36)

- What recurring thoughts and visions direct your decision-making? Are they coming true?
- “What are you thinking about, what are you visualizing and what are you internally dialoguing...that shows evidence coming true?” *(14:41)*

- Conversation & Inspiration (15:45)

- What do you direct conversation toward? What and whom inspires you to emotion or action?

- Persistent Goals & Learning (16:25)

- What are your most persistent and achieved goals? What are you drawn to learn about, study, or discuss?

Insight: By answering these questions honestly, patterns emerge—revealing your real top values.

3. The Critical Role of Alignment (17:32)

• Dr. Demartini explains that frustration, failure, or disengagement usually stem from misaligned values—either living according to societal expectations or projecting your values onto others.

• Quote: “You don’t make mistakes in your own values. You only think you make a mistake when you compare your actions to some outer authority’s values that you’ve subordinated to.” (Dr. Demartini, 17:48)

• On hiring and management:
  “Futility is a byproduct of expecting others to live in your values or you expecting to live in other people’s values... the mastery of hiring people is screening people according to what their values are and finding out whether the job description really matches their values.” (18:08)

4. Can You Change Your Values? (19:25)

• Dr. Demartini asserts values can evolve but must be intentionally rewired with evidence-based methods—not through guilt or outside pressure.

• Quote: “If you want to change a value system, you identify the action steps that are proven to master that area... Success leaves clues.” (19:41)

• Operant Conditioning for Values:

  • Stack up “200 benefits” of the new desired action/value until it outweighs your old preferences—rewiring your brain’s stimulus-response pathways (neuroplasticity).
  • Apply questions: “How specifically is doing those actions helping me fulfill what I value most... in every area of my life?”

• Notable example: People shift their financial behavior permanently by associating deep, layered benefits to saving or investing rather than just feeling obliged.

• “Your decisions are based on whatever you believe will give you the greatest advantage over disadvantage at any moment in time according to what you’re valuing.” (21:58)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your life demonstrates your values. That's what's so crucial to look carefully at what you're objectively doing.” (Dr. Demartini, 07:40)
• “If all of a sudden...Jeff Bezos...said, I can do an interview right this minute, you'd say, probably, John, I got to go. I got this opportunity...” (Dr. Demartini, 07:13)
• “I haven’t cooked since I was 24. I haven’t driven a car in 32 years. I delegate everything that's low on my values.” (Dr. Demartini, 11:35)
• “Once the advantages outweigh the advantages of what you're doing currently, your brain will neuroplastically remodel itself and go in that direction.” (Dr. Demartini, 20:29)
• “They may just finally realize, hey, I'm pretty magnificent the way I am. I just never saw that because I've been comparing myself to others.” (Dr. Demartini, 22:11)

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:28 | Introduction to values: What are they? Why do most people get them wrong? | | 06:44 | How to identify values using proxemics, time, energy and money | | 10:50 | Role of organization, discipline and internal dialogue in revealing values | | 14:36 | The 13-question diagnostic for self-awareness | | 17:32 | What if your values seem to hold you back? How to deal with ‘misaligned’ values | | 19:25 | The science and strategy behind changing your values | | 21:58 | The neurological and behavioral science of value-shifting | | 22:11 | Embracing self-acceptance versus unhealthy comparison |

Conclusion

Dr. Demartini’s insights offer a rigorous, practical path to understanding human behavior and living a fulfilling life. By dropping social scripts and observing your real-world priorities and actions, you can accurately assess—then if desired, intentionally shift—your values for greater personal and professional fulfillment. The process is grounded in observation, honesty, and evidence-based behavioral tools for lasting change.