← Success Story with Scott D. Clary
Success Story with Scott D. Clary
Lessons - Why Everything Gets Worse Right When You Finally 'Make It (Scott)
00:12:57
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- [00:01]
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DC Politicians want to enact harmful credit card mandates that could take away your cash back and rewards points perks that stretch your budget and make life a little easier. Losing these benefits means less money for your family's everyday essentials like gas and groceries. The perks you rely on could disappear, leaving you with higher costs and fewer options. Tell Congress to guard your card and oppose the Durbin Marshall credit card mandates.
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Paid for by Electronic Payments Coalition in today's Lessons episode, we're going to talk about something real that hits ambitious people. Every single person deals with this. It's when the success that you've achieved after pushing so hard, striving, achieving, trying to do things that no one else has ever done before in your career, in your business, it feels like it's kicking your ass. You know when you feel like everything you worked for somehow feels worse than when it started because you're just overwhelmed by your own growth. You want to hide from the world, hide from opportunities that at one point you once begged for. And you're wondering why. The bigger you get, the harder it feels. This one's for you. I'll show you why this is normal, why it's actually a sign you're doing something right and what to do when you just want to shut off from the world. You have anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and you feel like you just can't do this anymore. Let's talk about the success trap that nobody warns you about. Because what I'm going to talk about today has happened to me many times. It's happened to basically everybody I know at some point in their career or in their life. And when it does happen to you, it feels very lonely. So let's talk about when you do everything right and it just feels like the reward that the universe gives you is more problems and more anxiety. Life me frame it for you. So say you're building a business you just started. It's going incredible, it's growing. Congratulations. Now you're a year in or two years in and things are really starting to take off now. If we look back six months ago, you were begging the universe for the problems that you have now. The business that's now overwhelming you manifested it. The opportunities that are all basically crushing and weighing on you. At one point you were praying for them. And all this visibility that you're getting that's attracting all these critics, well, you worked for years to build it and now you're lying in your bed at 2pm on a Tuesday and your laptop's closed and your phone's on silent and you're wondering how success because it doesn't feel like success, but it is success. You're wondering how success has managed to feel exactly like failure. The deal that you just spent three months nurturing just evaporated in a two sentence email. Somebody with 47 followers is tearing you apart and your life's work apart on Twitter and somehow 10,000 people agree with them. And the decision that made perfect sense with the information that you had a year ago turned into a disaster that you'll be cleaning up for months. And you want to quit. Not because you're weak, because you're exhausted from being strong. This is what nobody tells you about building something that matters. The universe doesn't test you less as you grow. It just upgrades the difficulty setting. And you're going to wonder, why is it so hard for me to deal with this? Why does it feel so crushing, so overwhelming, when objectively things are going right, but the problems just feel like they weigh on me so much more than when I started? Well, the reason why is because when you were starting out again in anything new, the stakes are very low. So a bad day meant losing a hundred bucks or disappointing three people, right? Now, if you've built something big, a bad day means losing $100,000 or disappointing 3,000 people. So the stakes got higher. But you're a human and your nervous system stayed the same. Your body doesn't know the difference between a failed Etsy shop and a failed Series A. It just knows danger. It just knows threat. It just knows that thing that you built your identity around might be crumbling. And it responds the only way that it knows how, which is total system shutdown. Anxiety, stress, depression. So how do we react? Well, we don't tell the world this, but we pull the covers over our head and then for a moment, you try and disappear from your own life. And it's not because you're weak. It's because you're human. And humans weren't designed to fail at scale. But here's the thing about those covers you're hiding under. They're not obviously protecting you from the world. They're protecting you from the story that you're telling yourself about the. The world. The story where one bad month erases three good years. Where one harsh critic matters more than a thousand supporters. Where one failed deal means you're never going to close another one. And that story is lying to you. Now, some of you may or may not know the myth and the story of Icarus. It's a very famous Story. It's about this guy who flew too close to the sun. His wings melted. He fell into the sea. It is this very classic cautionary tale about ambition. But here's what they don't tell you about Icarus. His father, Daedalus, warned him about flying too high and too low. Too close to the sun would melt the wax, but too close to the sea would dampen the feathers. So the real danger wasn't ambition. It was overcorrection. And right now, you're overcorrecting. One deal falls through, so you question everything, right? You question every single deal. One person attacks you online, so you assume that everyone secretly hates you. One decision backfires, so you stop trusting your judgment entirely. You are flying so low right now to avoid that sun that you're about to drown in the waves. Every founder I know, every single one, has their bed week right, that stretch where they just couldn't anymore. But the difference between people who build extraordinary things and people who don't isn't that the builders and the people that look successful don't break. It's that they've just learned breaking is part of the building. So your breakdown isn't a deviation from the path. It is the path. And this is something that I've learned from watching way too many people implode. You're not actually upset about what happened. You're upset about what it means. The deal that fell through doesn't hurt because of the money. It hurts because you tied your identity to being someone who closes deals. The critic doesn't sting because they're right. They sting because you've been secretly wondering if you're a fraud. And now someone said it out loud. The bad decision doesn't haunt you because of its consequences. It haunts you because you built your self worth on being someone who makes good decisions. You've created a single point of failure for your entire identity. A one crack and the whole thing shatters. But professional investors never put everything into one stock. But somehow you've put your entire sense of self in one story about who you're supposed to be. So you want to know why you can't get out of bed? Because getting out of bed means facing the possibility that that story might not be true. But here's what I need you to understand. That story was never true. It was always just a story. The version of you who never fails, never doubts, never needs the three days in bed to just process the weight of it all. That person doesn't exist. They never did. And trying to be them is what's killing you. So I need you to do a memory audit. Do this right now. I'm serious. Even if you are reading this from under those covers, write three things down. First, something that you've done that you once thought was impossible. Second, a disaster that you survived that should have ended you. And third, a current problem that would have been a dream problem three years ago. I'll wait. Seriously, really do it. Because here's what you're going to notice. Your current ceiling, the one you are living in right now, was once your impossible. Your current crisis would have been your past self's victory. And your problems have scaled with your capabilities, which means your capabilities have been scaling all along. You're not drowning because you're weak. You're. You're drowning because you're swimming in deeper water than you've ever been in before. But you learn to swim in the shallow end, you learn to swim in the medium end, and you're going to learn to swim here, too. The only difference is that this time, you know what drowning feels like. So you're scared before you even start. Now, a lot of people are going to give you very useless advice at this point. When you're stressed out, they're either going to say, give up. But if you're surrounded by the right people, they're actually going to give you the wrong advice in the opposite direction. They're going to tell you to just push through it, to hustle harder, to remember your why. Fuck that. You don't need motivation. You need mechanics. There's a framework that's worked for me. It's worked for a lot of people. It's going to work for you. It's going to help you get out of your funk. First, you want to shrink the timeline. So don't think about next month or next year. I want you to think about the next hour. Can you survive the next hour? Good. Do that 24 times. I want you to lower the bar to the floor. Okay. You're going through something right now. It's stressful. I get it. So today's victory might just be eating something that isn't cereal, taking one shower, answering one email. The bar for today is wherever you need it to be to clear it next. Stop treating recovery like failure. Athletes don't train seven days a week. They build in recovery because recovery is how you get stronger. So your bed week isn't you failing, it's you recovering. The breakdown is part of the breakthrough. And lastly, remember that feelings aren't facts. You feel like a Failure. You feel like it's over. You feel like you can't do this. Cool feelings are just weather patterns in your brain. Wait 20 minutes, the weather will change. But the most important thing is that you have to stop trying to skip this part. You have to stop trying to skip. When life is telling you that things are tough, you can't just always suppress it. Because I know that everybody wants to fast forward through the breakdown and get to the part where you're stronger, where you've learned the lesson, where you can tell this inspiring story about how you overcame, but you can't have the resurrection without the death. You can't have the comeback without the setback. And you definitely can't have the breakthrough without the breakdown. The part. This part. The part where you're under the covers questioning everything, stressed out, feeling like the world is too much. This isn't a detour from your success story. This is a chapter in it. Remember, every biography you've ever read, any person you admire, they have multiple chapters like this. They're just usually compressed into a single paragraph that it starts with. Well, it was during this period of intense doubt that. See, you're living that paragraph right now in real time. And real time is slow and painful and full of uncertainty. But here's what those biographies also tell you. The people who change things aren't the ones who never fell apart. They're the ones who fell apart and discovered they could put themselves back together, different and stronger, more honest about what actually matters. So you have to accept this truth. You have to accept the truth that you're not behind. You're not failing. You're not weak. You're just human, doing inhuman things at an inhuman pace with inhuman expectations. Your body is forcing you to stop because your mind won't. Your soul is demanding rest because your ego won't allow it. And your breakdown is your wisdom trying to save you from your ambition. So listen to it. The world will still be there when you're ready to face it again. The opportunities will still exist and the work will still matter. But none of it matters if you're not here to do it. So stay under those covers for as long as you need. Feel the weight of it all. Let yourself break completely. Because sometimes the only way out is through. And sometimes through looks like three days in bed questioning everything before you remember who you are and why you started. You've survived the worst day of your life so far. You'll survive this one, too. And when you finally do get up, not because you have to but because you're ready to, you'll realize something that changes everything. The weight that was crushing you. You've been carrying it for so long you forgot you could put it down. Put it down. The world needs what you're building. But first you need to remember that you're allowed to be human while you build it. So get back up when you're ready, not a second before. 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- [12:59]
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D.C. politicians want to enact harmful credit card mandates that could take away your cash back and rewards points perks that stretch your budget and make life a little easier. Losing these benefits means less money for your family's everyday essentials like gas and groceries. The perks you rely on could disappear, leaving you with higher costs and fewer options. Tell Congress to guard your card and oppose the the Durbin Marshall credit card.
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Mandates paid for by Electronic Payments Coalition.
- [13:29]
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D.C. politicians want to enact harmful credit card mandates that could take away your cash back and rewards points perks that stretch your budget and make life a little easier. Losing these benefits means less money for your family's everyday essentials like gas and groceries. The perks you rely on could disappear, leaving you with high higher costs and fewer options. Tell Congress to guard your card and oppose the Durbin Marshall credit card mandates.
- [13:56]
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Paid for by Electronic Payments Coalition.