Podcast Summary: Success Story with Scott D. Clary

Episode: Michelle May O'Neil - Relationship & Wealth Expert | Why 50% of Marriages Fail and How to Beat the Odds
Release Date: June 28, 2025
Host: Scott D. Clary
Guest: Michelle May O'Neil

Introduction

In this compelling episode of the Success Story Podcast, host Scott D. Clary engages in an enlightening conversation with Michelle May O'Neil, a renowned relationship and wealth expert. Michelle brings her extensive experience in high-stakes family law to discuss the alarming statistics surrounding marriage failures and offers actionable strategies to help couples beat the odds.

The Prevalence of Divorce and Its Root Causes

Michelle opens the discussion by highlighting a staggering statistic: "50% of first marriages in America end in divorce within seven years." (02:00) She challenges the common belief that financial disagreements are the primary reason for marital breakdowns. Instead, Michelle emphasizes that "the result of a lack of communication" is often the true culprit.

Michelle May O'Neil (02:24): "A lot of times you'll hear people say that money or finances is one of the biggest downfalls of a marriage. I don't necessarily believe. I think that's the result of a lack of communication."

The Importance of Proactive Planning in Marriage

Michelle advocates for proactive measures before marriage, such as drafting a premarital agreement. She likens this to having "marriage insurance," ensuring that couples have a clear plan in place should the relationship face challenges.

Michelle May O'Neil (02:52): "When you get married, you have a divorce plan, whether you know it or not."

She further explains that a premarital agreement allows couples to "control how your divorce is going to work versus how the law tells you your divorce is going to work," providing a tailored approach to asset division and other critical aspects.

Overcoming Reactivity with Strategic Thinking

One of the central themes Michelle discusses is the human tendency to react rather than plan strategically in both personal relationships and business endeavors. Drawing from her entrepreneurial background and family influence, she introduces the concept of "fifth move strategy."

Michelle May O'Neil (03:36): "Think about, take that breath. I call it practice the pause. ... practice the pause, think five moves ahead."

This strategy involves taking a moment to "pause and reflect," allowing individuals to respond logically rather than emotionally, thereby fostering healthier decision-making processes.

Divorce Statistics and Changing Marriage Trends

Michelle provides deeper insights into divorce statistics, noting that "second marriages have about a 75% divorce rate," although recent trends show a slight decline due to younger generations being more hesitant to marry.

Michelle May O'Neil (11:21): "The average length of marriage in the US is seven years. If you make it past seven years, you're beating the odds."

She attributes this hesitancy to the decline in religious beliefs and the influence of social media, which often portrays "the grass is greener on the other side," making long-term commitments seem less appealing.

Strategies to Strengthen Marital Relationships

Michelle emphasizes the necessity of clear communication and financial alignment between partners. She outlines several best practices:

• Joint and Individual Financial Accounts: Maintaining both joint funds for shared expenses and individual accounts for personal discretionary spending.

Michelle May O'Neil (66:03): "I always recommend that you have joint funds... but I also always recommend that each spouse have their own account."

• Regular Marriage Meetings: Setting aside time to discuss financial goals, budgeting, and future plans to ensure both partners are aligned.

• Trust and Transparency: Being open about financial situations, especially during business downturns, to prevent misunderstandings and build mutual trust.

Balancing Business and Personal Relationships

Michelle delves into the intersection of entrepreneurship and personal relationships, highlighting how business stress can impact marital harmony. She advises entrepreneurs to:

• Prioritize Communication: Keeping spouses informed about business challenges to foster a supportive home environment.

• Set Boundaries: Allocating dedicated time for work and personal life to maintain balance.

Michelle May O'Neil (58:11): "It's all about prioritization... how you spend that time in your day."

Impact on Children and Legacy Planning

Addressing the effects of divorce on children, Michelle asserts that children are resilient and often mirror their parents' attitudes toward conflict and resolution.

Michelle May O'Neil (73:04): "The divorce itself is not the determining factor. People who understand that the ex-spouse is still family... those children just go where they want to go and they share custody."

She recommends setting up trusts and 529 plans to secure children's financial futures, ensuring they are protected regardless of marital outcomes.

Overcoming Challenges in Relationship Dynamics

Towards the end of the episode, Michelle shares personal anecdotes and offers advice on navigating evolving personal and business goals within a marriage. She underscores the importance of maintaining flexibility and mutual support as partners grow and change.

Michelle May O'Neil (77:09): "The one life lesson that I would pass on to my children... think five moves ahead all the time and, and not be reactive to life."

Conclusion

Michelle May O'Neil's insights shed light on the critical factors that contribute to marital success and longevity. By advocating for proactive planning, strategic communication, and financial transparency, she provides valuable strategies for couples to build resilient and fulfilling relationships. Her emphasis on prioritizing time and maintaining a balanced approach offers a roadmap for both personal and professional success.

Connect with Michelle May O'Neil:
For more insights and resources, follow Michelle on Instagram and other social media platforms under the handle @michelleoneil.

Notable Quotes:

• Michelle May O'Neil (02:52): "When you get married, you have a divorce plan, whether you know it or not."
• Michelle May O'Neil (03:36): "Practice the pause, think five moves ahead."
• Michelle May O'Neil (66:03): "I always recommend that you have joint funds... but I also always recommend that each spouse have their own account."
• Michelle May O'Neil (77:09): "Think five moves ahead all the time and, and not be reactive to life."