Suffer the Little Children – Episode 192: Operation Mei Mei (March 19, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this powerful episode, host Lane speaks with Kaitlyn Kuykendall, mother of 15-month-old Isabella (“Bella”) Kuykendall, about the shocking abuse Bella suffered at the US Navy’s Ford Island Child Development Center (CDC) at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. The episode explores Bella’s traumatic experience, the aftermath, systemic failures in response, and the Kuykendall family’s journey to advocacy through Operation Mei Mei. Lane and Kaitlyn’s candid conversation reveals not only the details and ongoing impact of the abuse but also exposes larger issues of accountability, gaslighting, and cover-ups in military daycare settings.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to Bella’s Story

[02:02]–[05:19]

• In August 2022, 15-month-old Bella attended the Ford Island CDC for three days. She began as a happy, social baby but quickly became withdrawn, developed night terrors, and showed clear signs of trauma.
• Her parents found a pinching bruise on her thigh. CCTV footage later revealed three daycare workers abusing her: pinching, shoving, slapping, shaking, and smothering.
• The workers continued working at the CDC for months after the incident, with charges only brought after media attention.
  • Notably, the two charged workers, Annalyn de Guzman and Marilyn Kanakoa, received minimal sentences (30 days and 8 days in jail, respectively, with anger management) ([06:16]).

2. The Investigation & Cover-Up

[10:35]–[29:32]

• The Kuykendalls were not allowed access to the surveillance footage for four months ([10:49]).
• JD, Bella’s father, watched over 75 hours of footage spanning Bella’s three days at the daycare, documenting every abusive incident ([11:21]).
• The daycare director attempted to “downplay” the incident by offering only a small portion of footage and seemed intent on avoiding escalation ([10:56]).
• Attempts to report and escalate the abuse were met with hesitancy and stonewalling by military and base officials.
  • “She was very much like, yeah, I'll get with the trainer, we'll review the video, and I'll get back to you.” ([22:56])
  • A Navy gate guard warned Kaitlyn: “Oh, no, you're not going there by yourself. This happens way too often. … They cover it up, and they sweep under the rug.” ([24:28])
• When accompanied by base police, the director refused to show further footage, became “professional,” and CID’s (criminal investigation) initial involvement was minimized by CDC leadership ([24:57]–[25:18]).
• The center delayed telling other parents for months, erased video footage, and attempted to charge parents for footage access ([27:19],[27:50]).

3. Systemic Failures & Gaslighting

[27:47]–[38:12]

• The Kuykendalls encountered military and local authorities gaslighting and dismissiveness:
  • HPD (Honolulu Police Department) and other agencies called Bella an “unsocialized Covid baby” ([28:04]) and insisted “there’s nothing there.”
  • Medical professionals refused to intervene without police reports ([30:16]–[30:33]).
  • “They just tormented her. … That could have killed her.” – Kaitlyn relaying a child abuse specialist’s assessment ([30:47]–[30:56]).
• The chain of command became clear:
  • The director who mishandled the situation remained employed, only giving “verbal reprimands” ([33:15]).
  • Child Protective Services and Family Advocacy Program passed responsibility in circles, citing “wrong jurisdiction” or insufficient authority ([38:12],[40:50]).

4. The Abuse: What Happened to Bella

[13:44]–[20:36]

• Bella’s behavior changed rapidly: excessive crying, fear of doors, refusing to eat or sleep, night terrors, and bruising ([13:44]–[20:04]).
• Teachers referred to her as “the crying baby,” showing callousness ([19:12]).
• Kaitlyn and JD identified clear signs: dramatic personality change, physical symptoms, fear reactions at drop-off, and unexplained bruising ([20:36]).
• The CCTV video—later partially viewed—depicted “pinching at the door … as soon as we left” ([19:09]) and abusive techniques used to enforce compliance from toddlers ([32:32]).

5. The Aftermath: Family and Community Impact

[34:39]–[35:33]

• Bella has long-term trauma triggers: won’t sleep with a blanket, must stay in routine, shows anxiety and fear responses ([34:54]).
• Kaitlyn: “She just has these little triggers still … seeing the look of terror on a 15 month old's face … was hard to see.” ([35:08])
• The community and workplace isolated the Kuykendalls, authorities blamed the family, and support was minimal ([50:48]).
• Other families from various US states have reached out, sharing similar stories and seeking advice after the Operation Mei Mei Facebook page became public ([35:33]).

6. Advocacy and Going Public

[36:24]–[53:18]

• The Kuykendalls started the Operation Mei Mei Facebook page to raise awareness and support other families after finding authorities were not taking meaningful action ([36:24], [50:04]).
• Charges were only pressed after Hawaii News Now publicly investigated ([36:49]).
• Advocacy purpose: warn other military families, validate others’ experiences, and push for real reform in military daycare oversight.
  • “If anybody had spoken up the way I'm trying to speak up now, I would have never put Bella into the CDC.” ([52:03])
• Ongoing civil lawsuit (“tort claim”) against the government for accountability and systemic change ([49:00]).

7. Lessons for Other Parents

[44:19]–[46:41]

• Red flags for nonverbal children:
  • Dramatic behavior/personality shift
  • Physical signs: bruising, balance issues, new anxieties
  • Increased crying, especially at drop-off/pick-up
  • Unusual fear responses (“afraid of doors,” shaking, blank stares)
  • Decline in appetite, sleep disturbances
• “I remember not wanting to take photos of Bella because I just didn't even recognize her anymore.” ([44:40])
• Trust your gut, demand accountability, and don’t let authorities minimize your concerns ([17:18], [44:19]).

8. Systemic Issues in Military Child Development Centers

[32:32]–[34:32]; [50:04]–[51:26]

• Abuse in CDCs may be more widespread than realized; the military’s insular, rotating-family structure allows problems to be “forgotten” by new arrivals.
• Inadequate background checks and follow-through on red flags for staff ([31:46]).
• “If she doesn't get in trouble, then it's obviously higher up protecting her” ([33:29]).
• Other bases face similar issues: “It's all across the country.” ([51:26])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On watching hours of surveillance footage:

“So it took him like three months. In between trying to be a father and work and everything else, right? … It's insane.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([11:21])

On the cover-up culture:

“Oh, no, you're not going there by yourself. This happens way too often. … They cover it up, and they sweep under the rug.”
— Gate guard to Kaitlyn ([24:28])

On institutional gaslighting:

“They just kept telling us it's going to cost like $215 per edit an hour … I think they were just all hoping that we would be burnt out and tired and just give up on it.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([27:47])

On medical dismissal:

“We finally were able to see a child abuse doctor. … The ER wouldn't see her because there’s no police report done, so they refused.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([30:16])

On the potential consequences:

“That was enough to … kill her. Like, that could have killed her.”
— Doctor to Kaitlyn about surveillance footage ([30:56])

On how the system fails kids:

“She just has these little triggers still … the look of terror on a 15 month old’s face … it was hard to see.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([35:08])

On the need for parent vigilance:

“All I wanted to do was help them out and … warn other families about it, but it was very clear that they didn’t want this to be anything.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([29:43])

On advocacy:

“If anybody had spoken up the way I’m trying to speak up now, I would have never put Bella into the CDC … So at least it’s out there, and hopefully it brings about positive change.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([52:03])

On the broader scandal:

“Nothing was being done. Nobody was being charged with the abuse … So it took going to Hawaii News Now and them doing the first story … That’s the only way they were charged.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([36:24])

On the hope and comfort in darkness:

“Sophia [her speech-delayed daughter] had no idea … She goes, ‘Mommy, the angel is here. Angel loves baby Bella and mommy and daddy and me.’”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([53:39])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:02] Episode and case introduction
• [05:24] Kaitlyn and JD’s reaction to delayed charges
• [10:35] Interview with Kaitlyn Kuykendall begins
• [13:44] Timeline: Bella’s first days at Ford Island CDC
• [19:09] Video footage confirms immediate abuse after drop-off
• [22:56] Reporting suspicions and initial stonewalling
• [24:28] Gate guard’s warning about abuse cover-ups
• [27:47] Struggle to access footage and authorities’ attempts to discourage investigation
• [30:16] Medical community’s reluctance without a police report
• [32:14] Patterns of abuse, systemic failures, and child conditioning
• [34:54] Long-term trauma and triggers
• [36:24] Launch of Operation Mei Mei and going public
• [44:19] Detecting abuse in nonverbal children: red flags
• [49:00] Filing a civil tort claim for accountability
• [50:04] Purpose of Operation Mei Mei Facebook page
• [53:39] Sophia’s comforting words and hope in advocacy

Conclusion

Operation Mei Mei is not simply the story of one family’s quest for justice, but an urgent call to action to reform military child care institutions. Kaitlyn Kuykendall’s courage, resilience, and advocacy shine through as she shares Bella’s story with honesty and hope, providing practical warning signs for other parents and calling out the systemic failures that enable abuse. The episode serves as both a warning and an inspiration for other families to listen to their instincts, demand answers, and support those fighting for change.

Resources:

• Operation Mei Mei Facebook Page (as referenced in show notes)
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
• If you see something, say something.

“If anybody had spoken up the way I’m trying to speak up now, I would have never put Bella into the CDC.”
— Kaitlyn Kuykendall ([52:03])