Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz: Episode Summary

Episode Title: Move On: Boundaries
Release Date: May 10, 2025
Host: Ascension
Duration: 20-30 minutes

Introduction

In the May 10, 2025 episode of Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz, titled "Move On: Boundaries," Fr. Mike delves into the crucial role that personal boundaries play in our spiritual and everyday lives. Drawing from Scripture, personal anecdotes, and insightful literature, he provides a compelling guide on how setting boundaries can facilitate personal growth, maintain healthy relationships, and honor one's faith.

Scriptural Foundation

Fr. Mike begins his homily by reflecting on the Gospel reading from John 10:27-30, where Jesus speaks about His sheep recognizing His voice and the security of being in His and the Father's hands. This passage sets the stage for his discussion on boundaries, emphasizing the balance between divine guidance and personal responsibility.

[00:37] Fr. Mike: "This is the truth of life. You do what you can, but you can't do more than that."

The Necessity of Moving On

Fr. Mike addresses the universal experience of needing to move forward in various stages of life, such as graduation or significant life transitions. He emphasizes that moving on often requires making space and setting boundaries to let go of what no longer serves us.

[04:15] Fr. Mike: "In order to be able to move on, you might have to make space and actually guard that space."

Establishing Boundaries: Insights from Literature

Referencing the book "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. James Townsend, Fr. Mike explains how personal boundaries function similarly to physical property lines, delineating where one's responsibilities begin and end. This analogy helps listeners understand the importance of defining what behaviors they are willing to tolerate.

[10:45] Fr. Mike: "Personal boundaries help you to know where your responsibility begins and where your responsibility ends."

Practical Applications of Boundaries

Fr. Mike shares several poignant stories to illustrate the application of boundaries:

1. Friend and Mother Relationship: A friend grapples with honoring her mother's needs without enabling her destructive behavior. Fr. Mike advises setting clear boundaries, such as providing limited financial help contingent upon her mother seeking help.

   [15:30] Fr. Mike: "To honor your parents doesn't mean you do everything they ask you, especially if you're simply perpetuating this self-destructive behavior."

2. Late-Night Crises: Fr. Mike discusses his approach to handling late-night calls from individuals in crisis, emphasizing the importance of establishing limits to prevent burnout while still offering support.

   [22:50] Fr. Mike: "Boundaries are not an attempt to control someone else's behavior. It's choosing and then clearly communicating the behavior you're willing to tolerate."

3. Mother-Daughter Dynamics: An example of a daughter setting boundaries with her father to manage his inappropriate language during visits showcases the effectiveness of consistent boundary enforcement.

   [30:10] Fr. Mike: "If you want my help, I need you to not speak like this."

Theological Perspective on Boundaries

Fr. Mike connects the concept of boundaries to theological teachings, highlighting that even God respects boundaries. He references Revelation 3:20, where Jesus stands at the door and knocks, illustrating God's respect for human free will and the boundaries He upholds.

[40:05] Fr. Mike: "Even God would say, 'I will go as far as I can, but I can't go farther than that.'"

He also shares insights from C.S. Lewis' "The Great Divorce," emphasizing that divine boundaries do not reflect human worth but acknowledge the dignity of free will.

[45:20] Fr. Mike: "We can wrestle with this reality that we need boundaries to move forward, but that doesn't mean we are rejected."

Maintaining Relationships Through Boundaries

Fr. Mike dispels the misconception that setting boundaries equates to rejecting others. Instead, he explains that boundaries are about nurturing healthy, sustainable relationships where mutual respect and understanding prevail.

[52:35] Fr. Mike: "Boundaries allow us to preserve relationships without being consumed by them."

Conclusion: Embracing Freedom and Faith

Fr. Mike concludes by reiterating that establishing and communicating clear boundaries is essential for personal freedom, healthy relationships, and spiritual growth. He reassures listeners that boundaries are not a rejection of others' worth but a testament to one's own dignity and faith.

[58:50] Fr. Mike: "You are free to walk away, but no one can take us from the Father's hand."

Key Takeaways

• Boundaries are Essential: They help manage personal responsibilities and prevent emotional burnout.
• Healthy Relationships Thrive on Boundaries: Clear limits foster mutual respect and understanding.
• Theological Alignment: Setting boundaries aligns with divine teachings on free will and personal dignity.
• Practical Implementation: Use real-life examples to apply boundary-setting strategies effectively.
• Boundaries ≠ Rejection: They honor both parties' worth and facilitate healthier interactions.

This episode of Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz offers a profound exploration of boundaries as a necessary component for personal and spiritual development. By intertwining Scripture, personal stories, and practical advice, Fr. Mike provides listeners with actionable insights to navigate the complexities of life while staying true to their faith.