Episode Overview

Podcast: Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz
Episode: The Holy Family (12/28/25 Sunday)
Date: December 27, 2025
Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz (Ascension)
Main Theme:
Fr. Mike explores the meaning and example of the Holy Family, focusing on the distinct yet complementary roles of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus, and what their example teaches modern families about responsibility, trust, masculinity, femininity, and holiness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Roles in the Nativity – Joseph’s Posture

• Anecdote: Fr. Mike recalls a conversation with his mom over two nativity sets—one with Joseph kneeling next to Jesus, the other with Joseph standing guard.
  • “Which one is more theologically appropriate... kneeling because here’s God… or standing because he’s got a job—to guard the Holy Family?”
    (03:30)
• Insight:
  • Joseph's dual calling: Worship Jesus as God and protect Jesus and Mary.
  • Importance of recognizing Joseph’s crucial, active role despite being the only (sinful) member of the trio.

2. Divine Design of Family Roles

• Modern Example: Fr. Mike describes a study where mothers easily wake to a baby’s cries, while fathers awaken to noises outside—demonstrating innate roles of nurturing (mother) and protecting (father).

  • “The mom wakes up right away [to the baby], and the father sleeps right through it. But when there’s noise outside the house, the father wakes up and the mom sleeps through it.”
    (06:10)

• Marriage Prep Reflection: Couples struggle or skip defining “roles”; yet, clarity matters.

  • “I said, ‘What do you think your role is?’ [He said,] ‘My role is to be the provider and the protector.’”
    (08:27)

3. Misconceptions and Temptations in Relationships

• Temptation for Wives: Control ("I want to make sure it’s all taken care of.")
• Temptation for Husbands: Passivity ("As long as you got it, that’s great—I'll just let you handle it.")
  • “In life, the wife’s temptation is to control ... and the man’s temptation is to passivity.”
    (11:17)

- Warning about Modern Patterns:

• Potential for resentment: “Why do I have to be responsible for everything?” versus “Why do I have no say?”

• Required “shift”: Not women becoming passive or men dominant, but:

  • Men: Reject passivity—embrace responsibility
  • Women: Reject control—embrace trust

• “If the man rejects passivity and embraces responsibility, doesn’t mean he’s in charge all of a sudden. It means that he’s engaged all of a sudden... If she rejects control and embraces trust…now we have to work together.”
  (15:20)

4. The Example of the Holy Family

• Joseph: Rejects passivity, embraces responsibility—leads and protects his family (Gospel: Joseph leads them to Egypt, acts on angelic warnings).
• Mary: Rejects control, embraces extraordinary trust—“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord” (Lk 1:38).
• Lesson: True family life is cooperation, mutual sacrifice, and virtue—not adherence to stereotypes.

5. Cultural Parodies & the Real Christian Ideal

• Fr. Mike critiques cultural extremes—toxic masculinity, “slacker dude,” “trad wife”—as parodies, not models, of true masculinity/femininity.

  • "All of those are parodies of actual real masculinity or real femininity."
    (22:41)

• References psychologist Leonard Sax’s "Boys Adrift" on cultural offerings for boys:

  • Only two options: "the brute" (dominates) or "the slacker dude" (“I’m fine with all of it”).
  • For women: Hypersexualization or erasure/shrinking back.

• Christian Model:

  • "We have to go back further ... to the Holy Family, which is not a caricature ... but the characteristics of masculinity and femininity."
    (24:10)

6. Virtues of Holy Masculinity and Femininity

For Men:

• Use strength in service, not self-assertion or indifference:
  • "It's the Joseph. It's Jesus. The person who puts his strength ... to serve the people around him."
    (25:15)
• Examples: Joseph protects his family; Jesus washes feet, defends the vulnerable, notices the small.

For Women:

• Trust, courage, and “fierce fidelity:” Mary’s fiat; Ruth’s loyalty; women at the cross; Abigail’s wise initiative (1 Samuel 25).
• Proverbs 31 woman (“eshet chayil”): Physically, spiritually, emotionally strong; industrious, wise, generous, holy.
  • "Her husband praises her. To have a true view ... of a holy family, we first need to have a view of what it is to be a holy man and a holy woman, which are not the same, but are complementary at the same time."
    (28:05)

7. Concrete Guidance for Living Holiness (Colossians 3)

Fr. Mike reads St. Paul’s exhortation—as actionable guidance for all, not just families:

• “Put on heartfelt compassion, put on kindness, put on humility, put on gentleness… bear with one another and forgive one another... and over all these put on love, that is the bond of perfection.”
  (29:11-30:00)
• "Let the peace of Christ control your hearts ... be thankful ... let the word of Christ dwell in you richly... whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus."
  (30:10)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Joseph's Role:
  “Joseph had a job. And that job was so important ... we forget that his role in the life of the Holy Family was massively important ... Yes, he was called to worship his God, Jesus Christ, but was also called to guard Jesus Christ.”
  (04:30)

• On Responsibility and Trust:
  “For every man whose temptation is passivity ... he is called to reject passivity and embrace—not control—but responsibility. Every wife, every woman whose temptation is to control, she's called to reject control and ... embrace trust.”
  (14:55)

• On Modern Trends:
  "There’s been a growing trend among young men to embrace the angry thug, philanderer persona... The same thing is true for women… at the same time, men have been told to be less masculine, women have been told to be more masculine."
  (21:40)

• On True Masculinity (Joseph & Jesus):
  "It's not the brute who takes his strength and uses it for himself. It's not the slacker dude who takes his strength and dissipates it. It's the Joseph. It's Jesus..."
  (25:12)

• On True Femininity:
  “The courage and trust of Mary who says, let it be done to me, I have no idea what's going to happen ... I'm going to trust in God. That's true femininity.”
  (26:40)

• On Holiness in Daily Life:
  "If you want to know, okay, how should I live? How should we live as a family? How should we live as individuals? Go back to the second reading today. ... Put on heartfelt compassion...and over all these, put on love."
  (29:10)

• Final Exhortation:
  "Here is this incredible, incredible guidance from the Lord. And it's guidance we can put into practice right now so that your family and my family can begin looking a little bit more like the Holy Family."
  (31:13)

Important Timestamps

• 03:30: Nativity anecdote, Joseph’s role considered
• 06:10: Parental response study—nurture & protection roles
• 08:27: "Provider and protector" marriage prep moment
• 11:17: Discussion on marriage temptations (control vs. passivity)
• 15:20: Embracing responsibility and trust in marriage
• 22:41: Critique of cultural parodies of masculinity/femininity
• 24:10: Call to Holy Family as true model
• 25:12: Essence of holy masculinity—Joseph and Jesus
• 26:40: Essence of holy femininity—Mary’s trust, biblical heroines
• 29:10-30:10: Colossians reading and practical exhortation
• 31:13: Final call to imitate the Holy Family

Conclusion

Fr. Mike Schmitz’s homily on the Holy Family calls listeners to reject cultural distortions and discover the Christian vision of family—woven through responsibility, trust, service, and holiness as demonstrated by Joseph, Mary, and Jesus. By embracing our God-given, complementary roles and virtues, and following St. Paul’s counsel for daily living, our homes can truly reflect the beauty, strength, and unity of the Holy Family.