← Sunday Sports Club with Allison Kuch
Sunday Sports Club with Allison Kuch
“Are long distance relationships worth it?” Relationship advice and Q&A
00:26:08
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Allison Kuch
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production what's up guys? Welcome back to Sunday Sports Club Podcast with Allison Kuch. A podcast all about sports told by a woman. And that woman is me. Hi guys. Welcome back to the podcast and if you're new here, welcome. My name is Alison and I have been with my husband for almost a decade now. We met back in 2014 and our entire relationship he has been playing football. So obviously football has impacted our relationship somewhat. Even more so now that he's a free agent, it still impacts our relationship. So I figured why not do the late night episode and talk all about relationship topics things, give you guys advice, ups and downs. We've truly been through it all. I feel like after 10 years and having a baby moving a ton, I really do feel like I'm in a place where I can speak on a lot of things relationship wise in a very mature way because we've been through so much. I feel like that's almost a red flag to say that because you know the Instagram captions where it's like, oh my God, through all the high highs and low lows, it's like geez. But we have been through a lot because there's been a lot of job changes. We've lived in so many different states and houses and apartments and just had a lot of stress on our relationship that I feel like not a lot of people experience throughout 10 years of their relationship. So I am excited to sit down with you guys on this little late night episode and talk about my relationship and also some of Yalls relationships because some of you guys wrote an advice or wanting my advice. So I went on Instagram and I asked you guys to ask me juicy questions, as juicy as you wanted it to. And so let's kind of get into it. I do have to say every interview I have been on they always ask, oh my God, you're so open about your life. You, you just like share everything. And I'm like, what? I think that maybe I do a really good job of sharing in a way that makes you feel like you know everything. But there are so many parts of my life and even my marriage that are very private that I feel like I don't talk about on social media. So whenever people say like, oh, how are you? Okay, sharing everything, it's like, I definitely do not share everything, but maybe I'm just good at being fake, I guess. But there are so many aspects to our relationship that we do like to keep private and I think it's a good boundary to have, especially with me and Isaac both being on social media in some sort of capacity. Because if there were blurry lines, I feel like social media would definitely affect a relationship. And it has affected our relationship good and bad. So, yeah, even though I'm answering some of these juicy questions, I do still want you guys to think that there is privacy in my relationship, which is very important to the both of us. So the first question is, what is the biggest fight you have ever gotten in and how did you resolve it? And when I was reading through these questions initially, I was like, what's the biggest fight we've ever gotten in? If you guys didn't know or you haven't listened to the episode where Isaac and I talk about our entire relationship timeline, I'll leave that in the show notes. But we did end up taking a few months break. And the fight we had leading up to that break wasn't even huge. It was just that we were in very different life phases. We were in very different pages. And it wasn't like this explosive argument. And honestly, I can't remember a huge explosive argument where we didn't agree on, like a basis of something very important to the both of us, which I think we are very lucky. Because when you look at me and Isaac's background, we come from different religions, different backgrounds, different social classes, like, very different backgrounds. And so to be able to sit here and honestly say, I don't remember a huge argument or the biggest argument we've ever had, I mean, there's obviously reoccurring issues that I feel like have happened in our relationship, but I can't. I can't pinpoint one in particular. Is that a good thing? I don't know. Is that a bad thing? I don't know. I wish I had a better answer for that. But. Next question. How is your relationship changed with Isaac being a free agent? I think Isaac being a free agent has definitely strained our relationship a little bit, but only because the unknown. So Isaac obviously wants to continue playing football, and so he's working out every single day as if he could get a call at any second. And on the other side of things, like me, I'm like, okay, well, are we transitioning to being out of the NFL? Are we not? What does everyday life look like? We actually canceled a few trips in July and August, like work trips and huge opportunities that I wanted to take advantage of because we didn't know if he was going to be on a team. And obviously, if I take some of these opportunities, my daughter, I Need to figure out who's gonna watch her. And I just don't know that I'm comfortable with somebody outside of me and Isaac watching her overnight just yet. I feel like that's something I am very, like, uncomfortable with right now. Not saying that we don't love our family or appreciate them or have help in some sort of way, but just from my comfort level, I just haven't been comfortable with that. So I had to say no initially. Now I think we have definitely take advantage, taken advantage of opportunities in the past few months. Right. So I think it's less affecting a relationship now, But I think it definitely affected a relationship a little bit in July, August, even a little bit in September. But I feel like now it's not such a shock that he's not on a team because it's been a few months since the football season started. Um, but I feel like it continues to still affect our relationship because, I mean, if he gets a call at any point, it's like, well, then what do I do? What does he do? Like, what does that look like for us? What does that look like for us as parents? Right. Because I'm not comfortable with Isaac not seeing Scotty for a few months, and neither is he or a few weeks or however long that may be. So it's. I feel like that that's. It's the uncertainty that affects our relationship. But right now, I think we've moved in a more positive direction where Isaac's starting to think about career outside of football. I mean, he always has been thinking about his career outside of football. He's on social media. He's investing in other aspects and in other endeavors. So, yeah, hopefully that answers. Hopefully that answers your question. You've almost had Scotty for a year. How are you guys making sure to prioritize romance? Who is more romantic out of the two of you? So I grew up being a hopeless romantic. And I remember early on in me and Isaac's relationship, me, like, sending him Pinterest photos and this and that. I think he's romantic in his own sense. But I would definitely say out of the two of us, I'm a little bit more romantic. Or I like the idea of romance. Like, I like the idea of surprises. I like the idea of date nights and getting dressed up and him coming and knocking at the door and being like, hey, I'm picking you up. Even though we literally live together, but definitely me, I'm definitely the more romantic. And how are we prioritizing romance with a daughter? I feel like it's just making time for one another, one another's needs, date nights. Although that's me saying that when we've literally had two date nights without Scotty. So it's. It's definitely an interesting, unknown territory thing that we've had to explore. But I feel like it's honestly just being very vocal. I think the key to a good relationship, no matter what, is communication. If you're communicating your feelings, communicating your wants and needs. And I just feel like it. It allows the other person to know where you're at mentally, and the other person can't give what they don't know. So I'm all about communication. So I would say we're doing an okay job. I mean, we still have a daughter, and we're still trying to figure it out. But crazy enough, I feel like after we have a second baby, it'll be easier. Not in terms of, like, being parents and responsibilities, but I genuinely think that in terms of, like, romance, like making time for one another, I won't feel as guilty because there's gonna be two kids. I feel like some people are gonna listen to this and be like, man, this is naive. You guys do so many videos and podcasts together. How do you work together creatively? So it's a interesting dynamic, doing creative jobs and, like, being on social media, content creation. When you're both doing it, you're both working from home. Especially now that Isaac is still a free agent and he not going off to work every day. It's very interesting because we both work from home. So, you know, the past few weeks, I've been like, you know what? I'm actually gonna go to a coffee shop and get some work done. Isaac, you should go to the gym, like, outside of our home and, like, actually taking space. Because I do think that space in a relationship is so healthy. And I'm also somebody who is very, very confident with being alone and very comfortable with being alone. So being with somebody 247 I actually don't think is very healthy in a relations or, like an intimate relationship. I don't think being together 247 is very healthy. I feel like therapists have even talked about that. Like, after Covid happened and quarantining together, they're like, yeah, a lot of relationships are gonna go through ups and downs because this is not healthy to be with someone 24 7. But with all that being said, we do work together in some capacity. We do podcast episodes and we do videos together. I think we both are very independent when it comes to Creating content and, like, making videos, whatever, and so then we don't have to rely on one another. I think if we had to rely on one another, like, brainstorm together, I think that would honestly send me into a deep, dark hole, because I would be like, okay, we are working together way too much. I like the idea that we're both independent in our own careers, and then we come together in some sort of way. So, for example, like me designing and owning our Airbnbs, I designed all of them. But Isaac also helps execute it with construction and calling contractors or sourcing tile. And I think we work really, really good together because, like, he picks up where I slack and vice versa. So it's definitely interesting, though. I loved the episode with your sister. How do you decide what personal stuff to share and what to keep to yourselves? It was really easy of a decision to share my sister's story because I didn't have to make that decision. I was open to her coming on my podcast and sharing her experience with a toxic relationship. And when I gave her that opportunity and she took it, that was her making that decision. I wasn't. I was never going to come on my own podcast and be like, yeah, my sister canceled her wedding. Let's talk about how, like, all the red flags and this and that. No, I would never have spoke on it if she. If it didn't come from her mouth. So where do I create the boundary? Honestly, I feel like it's really easy. I think I'm okay with sharing the hard parts of my life and, like, postpartum and mental health and body image and all of that. I'm okay with sharing my perspective. But if it involves somebody else, I definitely feel like there's a conversation that has to happen before I share anything, because I don't want to. I mean, I just feel like that's a relationship, right? Like, there are boundaries. I don't want to cross those boundaries unless we're crossing them together, but we're on the same page that we want to cross them. I'm not trying to dance around a topic. There's nothing I'm thinking of in particular. You guys are like, man, Allie's toxic. No, I just. If Isaac and I had an argument and I came on social media, I was like, I can't believe my husband did X, Y, and Z. Like, oh, my God. Like, I'm so fed up with him. That would be toxic, because then I'm involving a lot of other people that don't need to be involved in a relationship when, like, Yalls opinion in certain decisions in our life doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. Now. If Isaac and I had a disagreement and we both wanted to get the perspective of our community, I think that honestly is not a bad thing. And I could definitely see us doing that in the future. Like if we have a small disagreement, like, oh, I think pillow is pronounced pillow and he thinks it's palo, which who the fuck thinks it's pillow? I don't know, but I think it would be fun and interesting to get like an outside perspective in that capacity. But if we're talking about like when we should have our second kid, I'm not coming on the Internet being like, oh my God, my husband won't let me get pregnant, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's. That's kind of toxic. Okay guys, I'm going to tell you about my new obsession, Hydra drug. And if you don't have one, you're gonna want one. And I want you guys to tag me when you post about it because I am actually obsessed. And I know you guys are gonna be too. You guys know I've been on my pumping journey and my supply is always fluctuating. And something I've realized that impacts my supply is my water intake. I mean, I guess that makes sense because like I'm creating liquid, I need to have liquid. So I've tried other popular water bottle brands, but they spill or they don't fit my cup holder. And honestly they're just kind of annoying. Especially when you have a toddler who's constantly grabbing your straw and then all of your water's on the floor. Last month I discovered the Hydra Jug Traveler and it's one of my new favorites because it's leak proof cup holder compatible and has a hygienic circular flip straw for easy sipping. It is so convenient. I recently went to a girls night at my friend's house and I flipped down my straw, threw it in my purse, and then when I'm searching around my purse later that night, I go to find my water so I'm able to drink it. And I honestly think with this water bottle, I drink more water. Now that might sound like something that isn't important, but as someone who's always forgetting her water bottle at places, it's the little things in life. Okay, I can't believe I'm this obsessed with my water bottle, but I am. So take my advice and replace your current water bottle with one of these. I'm telling you, it's, it's. I'm telling you it's the best. Okay? It will make you drink more water, which I feel like we all need to do. And it's so convenient and easy to bring around. The Hydro Dug Traveler comes in multiple colors and sizes. 40 ounce, 32 and 20 ounce. So you can find the perfect bottle that fits your style and your needs. So get Hydrojug Traveler at www.thehydrojug.com and use discount code SSC to get 10% off your order today. Hydro jugs are a game changer for anyone on the go. So Again, use code SSC@thehydrajug.com to get 10 off your order and start hydrating today. Next question. Is there a girl code or boy code between players and wags? And I think this person is alluding to, like, cheating or relationships in and around teams and teammates. When it comes to Isaac's job, I think we both like to keep. Keep the NFL and football very professional. So when it comes to, like, players and their wives or their family dynamic, I mean, obviously Isaac and I are a married couple, so, like, if something's happening in and around, like, his team, he's gonna talk about it with me. But I feel like that's where that ends. It's not, like, juicy info. It's not juicy gossip. Because there has to be some level of professionalism, right? So, like, if your husband is at the office and the CEO is, I don't know, messing around with some girl, even if he's single, like, your husband might come home and be like, oh, yeah, like, so and so is doing whatever. And I feel like that's where it just ends. Like, I'm not calling anybody and, like, gossiping. There's no, like, gossip in, around, like, wives and girlfriends. I feel like that's a huge misconception that, like, everything is talked about amongst, like, the team and teammates and wives and girlfriends. And I really feel like it's not that juicy. Like, there's stuff that happens that I'm not going to talk about and, like, his teammates might not talk about, but I feel like that's the professionalism. I don't know, maybe one day I can talk about it, but not anytime soon. When is Scotty getting a little brother or sister? How are you guys discussing the idea of another kid? I have a note on my phone of things I want to accomplish before having another baby. And let me just read off some of the things that I have on this list. I have a note on my phone that says before I'm allowed to get pregnant, I'm not joking. I'm not fudgeing around. You guys Finish house renovations. Like. Like my arms enough to wear a tank top, figure out my hormones, get a nose job, celebrate Scotty's birthday, start therapy, run a marathon. Love my closet. Now, some of these are big things, Some of these are small things, but I honestly feel like I need to accomplish certain things to be comfortable with having another baby. If all these things were accomplished, I would be ready to get pregnant right now. Although, except for the house, I want to live in our newly renovated house and enjoy a few months and have Scotty playing the backyard and the dogs. And, like, I just have this image in my head of having cute little moments, especially with, like, our current small family, because who knows? What if the next baby, I have twins? That's terrifying. So I'm really trying to enjoy as much alone time I can with Scotty, especially when she's at such a fun age. She just started walking, she's getting into things, and she's starting to explore a little bit more, and she has the cutest personality. So I really want to, like, soak up as much of that as possible. But I also do want my kids to be somewhat close in age, and I want more than two kids, less than five. So, you know, we have some room to play with that. But I. I don't want to be pregnant for, like, nine years. You know, I'm saying, like, the start to finish, although I am just starting to wean off of pumping, and I'm exhausted. Like, I want my body back for a second. So to be determined, I would say within the next year, I hope to be pregnant. And it's not as easy as everybody thinks it is. Okay. Now, in addition to everybody asking some of these questions about me and Isaac's relationship, a lot of you also wrote in asking for my advice. Now, why am I qualified to give relationship advice? I'm not. Well, I'm. I actually am. I've been in a relationship for almost a decade. We've gone through so many life changes. I definitely don't think I'm. You know, honestly, I should be, like, a qualified therapist at this point because of how much shit I've gone through. But I'm going to be giving you some of my advice as to things I would do. My boyfriend and I are doing long distance from Florida to Arizona. We started dating in high school, and we're college freshmen. Do you think we should stay together, or will we regret not being single in college? It's all up to you. And your type of personality. I don't think being single will, like, benefit your college experience unless you are in a relationship where your significant other doesn't want you going out to parties or going out to the bar or hanging out with people from the opposite sex. I feel like in a relationship, especially a long distance relationship, you need the other person to be comfortable with what you're doing that doesn't involve them. So being long distance. So Isaac and I were long distance throughout college, and we both had totally separate lives. And then when I came to his college, I got to hang out with his friends, and when he came to my college, we got to hang out with my friends. And I never had to choose between my friends or my boyfriend. And that's something I actually loved about being long distance. I feel like it created really healthy boundaries. It, like, I saw so many of my friends leaving our friend hangouts to go and hang out with their boyfriend, which. Is that a problem? I don't know. But I really liked the fact that I never had to choose. Do I think that you should have a time period of being single? I mean, I was single only for like a year in college. I went into college with a boyfriend, we broke up for a year, and then I met Isaac a year later. So I'm grateful for the single time. It's not like I was running around hooking up with everybody left and right, but I do think it was just healthy to explore, like, what I liked, what I wanted and even date around a tiny bit. Because if at the end of the day, you don't like anybody you dated and you want to go back to your boyfriend, that's still a thing. I just think you should give yourself the opportunity to explore and grow outside of your high school relationship, especially if you guys are long distance. Because honestly, sometimes people stay in long distance relationships throughout college, and then they end up resenting their partner and not saying that you guys are going to do that, but if it were me, I would maybe take a break for, like, during the school year and then in the summer, see how you guys still felt. That's just my opinion. I want to go to the gym with my boyfriend when he goes, so it's an activity we can do together. He doesn't want me to come with him. Am I being ridiculous or is he being an. He's being an. That's weird. Why does he not want you going to the gym with him? I want you to ask him that. Why do you not want me to go into the gym with You. You probably have asked that. If you're anything like me, maybe it's because it's his alone time. I don't know how often you guys hang out. My husband and I currently together 24 7. So when he goes to the gym, if I asked to get well, I have asked to go, and he's like, yeah, you should come with me. But if he has to go with me, I'm like, no, I think I want some alone time. I think alone time in a relationship is a good thing. But, yeah, it is kind of a red flag that he doesn't want you to the gym with him. Does he think you're gonna be, like, clingy to him? Does he think you're gonna be following him around? Like, you can also set the stage, like, hey, I want to go to the gym with you as, like, an activity. We can go in together and leave together, but, like, I can go on the treadmill, and you can go and do whatever you want. This guy I'm dating is obsessed with watching every football game on Sundays. So we basically lose an entire day of the weekend if I don't watch with him. I like football, but not for a whole Sunday can I get him to stop watching. What the do I do now? I feel like this is a little bit of a difficult situation because I can see what you're saying, right? Like, you only get two days out of the weekend that you can go and do activities. In his defense, he's also only getting two days, and he does genuinely love watching football. Now I feel like there can be a happy medium where you guys have a conversation, hey, like, can we limit it to maybe two games? Or maybe one game we watch at home, and then the other game, like, we can go out to get food and get lunch with friends? I think making an activity like that, I don't think you're able to say, I don't want you watching football. I think that would make you a red flag. But I do think you're able to communicate your feelings and say in a very open, honest, transparent way, like, hey, like, I really do love spending time with you. I don't love watching football. I know you love watching football, so I'll watch a game with you. But can we just not dedicate the entire day to watching football? Maybe talk about it like that? I feel like those conversations are even hard to have because he's communicating his feelings, you're communicating your feelings, and you still have to have in the back of your head, wait, I need to listen to his feelings, as if they matter as much as my feelings. Right? But I can understand why that would be a very difficult conversation to have. But football season does end, so there's that. But the rest of your life, do you want your Sundays maybe a conversation to have right now? All right, so that concludes it for questions and advice. I honestly love giving advice, especially pertaining to relationships. So if you guys have any other juicy questions you want us to answer, me or Isaac or us together or if you guys want my advice, his advice, our advice together, feel free to write in to our Instagram Sunday Sports Club podcast Instagram and we'll be sure to create an episode and feature you guys in that. But I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know sometimes the podcast episodes are teetering on oh, is this sports? Is this not sports? But hopefully you guys are enjoying that. I actually want your feedback of podcast episodes. You want to hear from Sunday Sports Club and from me and Isaac. Do you guys want a solo Isaac episode? Like what do you guys want to hear? I'm really curious. I have some guests coming on the show that I'm excited about, but aside from that, I want to know what you guys want to know. So thank you so much for tuning in to Sunday Sports Club Podcast. Be sure to get your podcast every Sunday wherever you get your podcasts. And remember, sports aren't just for the boys. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.