Healthy relationships with Victoria Garrick Browne

Summary

Sunday Sports Club Podcast Summary Episode: Healthy Relationships with Victoria Garrick Browne
Host: Allison Kuch
Produced by: Dear Media
Release Date: January 19, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of the Sunday Sports Club Podcast, host Allison Kuch engages in a heartfelt and insightful conversation with her friend Victoria Garrick Browne. The discussion delves deep into the complexities of relationships between Division I (D1) college athletes, touching on themes such as mental health, body positivity, eating disorders, and maintaining healthy partnerships amidst the demanding world of collegiate sports.

Meeting in College: A Story of Slow Burn Romance

Victoria shares the nostalgic and amusing tale of how she and her husband, Max Brown, a former D1 quarterback, met during their college years.

• Victoria (04:26): "We actually met my very first party before school even started... So we met so many people. I was like a kid in a candy store. Almost like, oh my God, I'm in college."

Their relationship blossomed slowly, characterized by mutual respect, shared experiences, and a deepening connection over time.

• Victoria (08:27): "So we kissed that night, and I, like, literally blacked out. I was like, so just like, I had butterflies in my stomach."

Athlete Lifestyle and Relationships

The conversation highlights the unique challenges that come with dating within the athletic community. Both Victoria and Allison discuss how the rigorous schedules, constant travel, and intense training regimens of D1 athletes can strain personal relationships.

• Allison (02:13): "It's insane. My mom...if that's difficult, like the student athlete life, you wouldn't have survived a day."

They emphasize the importance of understanding and supporting each other's careers and the emotional toll it can take.

Mental Health: Navigating the Pressures of Being a Student Athlete

Victoria opens up about her personal struggles with mental health during her time as a student-athlete at USC, where she played on the women's volleyball team.

• Victoria (01:05): "I started to struggle with my own mental health... dealing with depression, anxiety. I had an eating disorder..."

She recounts delivering a TEDx talk that led to the creation of her nonprofit, The Hidden Opponent, dedicated to addressing athlete mental health.

• Victoria (02:13): "The demand on an 18-year-old without the proper preparation, some of the schools not providing the proper mental health care, it is difficult to navigate emotionally."

Body Positivity and Intuitive Eating: Healing from Eating Disorders

A significant portion of the episode focuses on body image issues and the journey towards body positivity. Victoria discusses her transition from battling an eating disorder to embracing intuitive eating as a path to a healthier relationship with food and her body.

• Victoria (43:21): "The practice of intuitive eating... is an approach to food where you are thinking about what your body needs, wants."

She emphasizes the importance of listening to one's body and rejecting diet culture.

• Victoria (48:30): "Instead of taking things away that you’re not allowed to eat, try to add in foods that fuel your body well and make you feel good."

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship: Communication and Support

Allison and Victoria explore strategies for maintaining a strong and supportive relationship, especially when both partners have demanding careers.

• Allison (30:26): "We have a rule of we. There's never screaming, there's never swearing. We don't raise our voices."

They discuss the significance of immediate communication and problem-solving to prevent minor issues from escalating.

• Allison (31:08): "We are normal, and there is stuff being thrown on the chair. But every single day, we clean that chair... we talk about the little things as they happen."

Challenges and Solutions: Balancing Career and Personal Life

The duo addresses the challenges of balancing professional aspirations with personal relationships. They share personal anecdotes about supporting each other's career moves and the importance of setting boundaries and designated quality time.

• Allison (35:53): "He was able to say, okay. But every Tuesday we have our special time. It's just ours."

Victoria emphasizes flexibility and understanding as key components of their partnership.

• Victoria (37:06): "We do a lot of the thinking ahead of, like, hey, this is what makes me nervous about this. And here's how we can soothe and accommodate."

Body Image Postpartum: Embracing Change and Mental Well-being

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation shifts to postpartum body image and the mental health challenges that come with it. Victoria discusses her experiences with body changes after pregnancy and the societal pressures to "bounce back."

• Victoria (43:21): "It's taken a lot of time. So I want to say that... what are my options? I can go on these. I can dislike. Say I dislike my body. So I'm gonna go on a diet to fix it."

She advocates for a compassionate and mindful approach to postpartum body changes, highlighting the importance of mental health and self-acceptance.

• Victoria (50:24): "It's so sad to see so many women think the most important thing in their lives is to be the prettiest."

Conclusion: Embracing Authenticity and Mutual Support

Allison and Victoria wrap up the episode by reinforcing the importance of authenticity, mutual support, and continuous personal growth within relationships. They encourage listeners to prioritize mental well-being and to foster environments where both partners can thrive individually and together.

• Victoria (56:17): "What if the most important thing is not being the prettiest? What if that's not the most important thing?"

Their candid and vulnerable discussion serves as a valuable resource for athletes and non-athletes alike, offering insights into building and maintaining healthy, supportive relationships amidst life's challenges.

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Notable Quotes

• Victoria (01:05): "I started to struggle with my own mental health... dealing with depression, anxiety. I had an eating disorder..."

• Victoria (02:13): "The demand on an 18-year-old without the proper preparation, some of the schools not providing the proper mental health care, it is difficult to navigate emotionally."

• Victoria (43:21): "The practice of intuitive eating... is an approach to food where you are thinking about what your body needs, wants."

• Allison (30:26): "We have a rule of we. There's never screaming, there's never swearing. We don't raise our voices."

• Victoria (37:06): "We do a lot of the thinking ahead of, like, hey, this is what makes me nervous about this. And here's how we can soothe and accommodate."

• Victoria (56:17): "What if the most important thing is not being the prettiest? What if that's not the most important thing?"

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This episode offers a profound exploration of the intersection between athletic lifestyles and personal relationships, underscored by themes of mental health, body positivity, and the resilience required to maintain healthy partnerships in high-pressure environments.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[B]

Welcome to Sunday Sports Club Podcast. I'm Allison Kuch, and today we have on a very special guest, my friend Victoria. And we're going to be talking all about the fact that your husband max was a D1 college athlete. You were a D1 college athlete. I feel like that's actually very common. College athletes dating college athletes. We're going to talk about. About body positivity and mental health, a little bit about eating disorders and kind of the whole gist and. Yeah, I don't. I mean, mental health, self acceptance, importance of vulnerability. Welcome to the podcast. Why don't you give yourself a little intro?

[A]

Okay, well, thank you for having me. I loved having you on Real pod. And it's so special to be just completing the loop here. And Max and Isaac, for anyone who maybe falls, like, closely, have a little bit of a bromance. It's like anytime we're all at the same event, like, we just can't find them.

[B]

They're always just. Isaac's like, oh, yeah, Max said this. And I'm like, what? When did you talk to Max?

[A]

I feel like Max is the same. I'm like, yeah, Isaac posted this thing and it just really hit me and I'm like, what was the thing? So happy to be here as a fellow sports girly as well. Yeah, I mean, I live in LA with Max. We met at college. We've been together for nine years, married for two. I got into this business because I was a student athlete. That was where the issue of athlete mental health first came into my life. I started to struggle with my own mental health. Playing on the USC women's volleyball team, dealing with depression, anxiety. I had an eating disorder and had never experienced anything quite like that. So then when I was going through it, I was like, wait, this is, like, really difficult. Like, you know, we have all this pressure and all this stress, and we're doing school and we're traveling, and no one's really talking about that side of the student athlete life. So I, long, long, long, long story short, delivered a TEDx talk about that, which led to the creation of the nonprofit I have now the Hidden Opponent. And now I am not an athlete, but I still try to keep it real in every aspect of my life online.

[B]

It's crazy because Isaac, as a former D1 athlete, talks all the time about how once you're a college athlete, like, you carry that shit with you throughout your entire life. Isaac always likes to joke that whenever he hires somebody new, he, like, if they're a D1 athlete, like a former college athlete in any sense. He's like, oh, yeah, like, I'm gonna hire them because they have like a certain worth, that work ethic. Like, they're used to doing things that they don't necessarily want to do. And like going through a very grueling schedule. Literally when you're like 18.

[A]

Yeah. No, it's insane. My mom, who now pickleballs like three times a week and honestly then like takes care of the dog and hangs with me the rest of the time is like, I don't know how you did it. I mean, I'm going to practice, I'm taking my pick, I'm coming home. I'm like, mom, if that's difficult, like the student athlete life, you wouldn't have survived a day. I feel like it was when was I not crying? But of course it was the biggest blessing. I don't regret it. It was a privilege. It was something that shaped me and I would do it again. And the demand on an 18 year old without the proper preparation, some of the schools not providing the proper mental health care, it is difficult to navigate emotionally.

[B]

I. I went to Michigan State and I was supposed to be a swimmer and I literally quit before like the first day of practice because I was like, oh, you want me to do two A days? And I was trying to go to vet school, which we all know that didn't end up working out.

[A]

I didn't know that about you. The swimming.

[B]

I was, I was really good at swimming, but I just was not ready to like, take that with me through college. But I watched my brother do it. So I can only applaud you for the. Her hard work, dedication. You're also like, yeah, I was fucking depressed. Yeah, let's take it back to college because your husband Max is a sports commentator, formerly a D1 quarterback. Went through the whole, like, NFL processes. So let's take it back because I know a lot of people who listen to the podcast, like, are in relationships or are curious about student like athletes and that life. So you guys met in college. You can quickly. You don't have to like, give us the love story.

[A]

I'll talk about Max. I love talking about him. Yeah, we actually met my very first party before school even started.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Because the athletes report early, so you go early. A fall athlete, at least for training camp. And just before school starts, you go. So it was literally in the summer, the end of the summer. And it was my very first party. I, like just moved into my dorm and it was that weekend, and I guess we met. I don't remember.

[B]

Not blurry.

[A]

Not because of, like, you know, I was drinking the punch or whatever. Literally. We met so many people. I was like a kid in a candy store. Almost like, oh, my God, I'm in college. There's boys, there's potential new friends. Like, I'm with this new team, and I've watched them on TV playing games, and now we're teammates. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There was just so much happening. He says he definitely remembers me. He knows what I was wearing.

[B]

He better remember you. You're like, absolutely.

[A]

Yeah. So then, like, we ended up, you know, we would. The athletes would hang out, so we'd be in, like, kind of similar circles. I knew he had a crush on me. You know, when you know that the guy likes you.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, it's very clear.

[A]

No, it was so cute. Like, I'd show up to a party, and he'd be like, hi, Victoria. And he'd, like, bring me a drink. Meanwhile, the guy I'm chasing is, like, hooking up with someone else. You know?

[B]

You're like, oh, this is weird.

[A]

Yeah. He was so sweet, and I always had so much fun with him. Honestly. We talk about it now. He gave, like, husband material. People say people give wifey. Max gave husband. And I was like, out of a.

[B]

He gave golden retriever.

[A]

Yes. And I was out of a toxic high school relationship. I want. I really wanted to be single. I. Yeah, I don't care who you were. Having a boyfriend was just not something I wanted.

[B]

I mean, college athlete. I didn't. A boyfriend. Actual college. Like, it sounds like a lot.

[A]

Yeah, it was more fun to, like, you know, have things. And actually, I had a big. In my sorority who was like.

[B]

And you were in a sorority? Jesus Christ.

[A]

Yeah, kind of like, did you have time to breathe? No. I mean, but I was, like, barely in it. Like, I. I got, like, a special thing where I never had to attend. Like, I was always excused because I was an athlete.

[B]

So nice.

[A]

But so I went to. I went to some things that I could. But she was like. I don't know if this is, like, weird to say, but she was like, you should have a roster. Like, you should have a few guys that you can text and, like, you know, just play the field. And I was like, what? Like, it was, like, a whole new world for me. So she was like, you can flirt with a boy in this class and flirt with a boy here, and who needs a boyfriend? And I was, like, drinking the Kool Aid.

[B]

You're like, abs. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, well, I guess that answers my question. So you guys were more of like a slow burn, not like a love at first sight. Like, I'm starting. He's my boyfriend from day one.

[A]

Correct. It was a slow burn. But I will say in my heart, I was always, like, looking for him. I had so much fun with him. He made me laugh. Like, I loved being around him. And then it was after my whole freshman year, it was the next summer when we were once again at school, out of school, training, um, when, like, I started to be like, wait, oh, my God, Max Brown is, like, the best. What have I been doing? I hope he still likes me. Yeah, I was like, I need. I need to get my shit together. And then I, like, sent him a Snapchat. Try to, like, re.

[B]

Spark things, because I kind of friend.

[A]

Zoned him, so I had to give him permission that, like, hey, I'm ready.

[B]

So then at what point did you guys, like, start officially dating? Sophomore year.

[A]

Yes, Sophomore year. It was in the summer. We. I remember I went out, I went over to hang out, like, after, you know, I had guided the Snapchat combo where I wanted it, a.k.a. listen up, ladies. Men are so. They're stupid.

[B]

You need.

[A]

You need to literally provide them an alley.

[B]

Oop that's, like, right above the meal you want.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm going to put that as the only thing on the menu. And you're like, oh, I want that.

[A]

I'm like, so, what are you up to? He's like, well, I'm watching the O.J. simpson documentary. And I'm like, oh, my God, you are. Me too. What episode are you on? He's like, the fuck? I just finished episode three. I just finished episode three as well. And I'm about to watch episode four. Should we watch four together? That's a great idea. Max.

[B]

Max. Are you kidding?

[A]

So, yeah, I've never seen the show. I knew about the case. Like, so I wasn't like, he's, like.

[B]

Quizzing you on, like, the previous episode. You're like, I have no idea.

[A]

People say that. They're like, were you worried that you would know what's going on? I'm like, it's the O.J. simpson case. Like, who doesn't like, you know? So I went over to watch episode four of the O.J. simpson documentary, and we kissed that night, and I, like, literally blacked out. I was like, so just like, I had butterflies in my stomach. I was, like, obsessed with.

[B]

Because the O.J. simpson trials were Very.

[A]

So romantic. So that was the start. And then literally from that point on, we've been together.

[B]

Okay. So then he transferred. Well, which I, I feel like I have to say this. A lot of college athletes, it's very common for college athletes to date college athletes.

[A]

I would say so because your schedule is so booked, like you don't have time to really go socialize at like these traditional parties.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're doing the Sunday night athlete party at someone's dorm room where you're like trying to maybe have a beer because you're like, I should drink. It's college. But night's the only night I actually get to do it. And so you're not really doing.

[B]

And you have like, you go to like tutoring sessions and like all the athletes usually live in the same dorm, right?

[A]

Oh my God. Yeah. And then you have like your own library where you study. So I used to like, get all dressed up to like, you know, in my sweats, but like have my hair and makeup done, like team issued gear.

[B]

But like.

[A]

Yeah, no, totally. And I would be like in the computer lab. And it was like the computer lab was the place like you could see right in jmc, like who's walking around. It was. There's eyes going. Yeah.

[B]

So when girls say like, oh, how do I get with an athlete? I'm like, become an athlete.

[A]

Honestly, that's such a good point. If I think about a lot of the guy athletes I knew, they either were dating athletes or it was like a girl from home. Right. That they're still in love with. Or I do have some athlete friends who ended up with a few from girls from USC who were in regular. But what is it called? It's called narp.

[B]

Narp. People are an athletic, regular person.

[A]

Get offended. That's the term.

[B]

I'm very athletic, but I am a narp. I would, I would say what you call an outlier. Yeah, there's a few outliers. But I, I do think that like the number one advice I'm like, if you want to be with an athlete, you got to be an athlete.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you got to look like one.

[A]

And it's, it's a huge emotional toll to be. You know this. To be with someone who's a serious athlete. Like Max and I fell in love. I was like, so excited. And within 12 weeks, he's moving across the country because he got benched on national television, is getting bullied on Twitter. Someone else now has his spot. Everything he waited for is, is crumbling. And he's now looking where I'm gonna go anywhere to try to make this dream come true. And he's transferring, and I'm like. I literally remember saying to him, like, so, are we gonna stay together? Like, it was so new.

[B]

I couldn't.

[A]

I felt weird to just assume. And he was like, yeah, we're gonna stay together. And I was like, okay.

[B]

You're like, well, it's crazy you mentioned that, because I feel like when you're my same age. Right.

[A]

27.

[B]

Okay. You're. You're younger. Oh, turn 30. Fuck. But back then, it was like, Twitter was terrifying. I remember being Isaac's football games. Like, literally just tweeting his name to see oh, if he got a good play or, like, whatever. And then it's like, isaac Rochelle fucking. And you're like, yeah. And I hope so. It's really interesting because even though you were. You played volleyball, I just feel like there isn't a ton of hate for volleyball.

[A]

Correct. I think that obviously men's sports have a much larger. Larger platform, and so men are very critical of men. Well, honestly, any of the comment sections on espn, Fox Sports, like, whatever. Literally, like, the worst places that I've ever been in my life are just in those comment sections about people I don't even know. It's like, so. It's so mean. Like, these guys are like. It's like, you fog me and my fantasy. Like, it's like, this is a guy with, like, kids, and, like, he goes home, and he's just, like, doing the thing he loves. And it's, like, not that deep.

[B]

It's, like, literally not that deep. But these guys have. Need something else to talk about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they're trying to put off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, job applications to get off their mom's couch.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But so then he transfers. Okay, wait, he got benched for Sam Darnold, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So is now playing for the Vikings.

[A]

Who'S about to get possibly $100 million contract. Yup. Yup. Y. But literally, Max showed me that. He's like. He's like, whoa. He's like, sam's about to get, like, a. Whatever figure deal. And I'm like, but you have me. I'm, like, trying to, like, make him feel.

[B]

You're like.

[A]

They're. They're still great friends. And Max, it's so awesome, honestly, to see him, like, root for the guys he played with. He was on the same official visit as Jared Goff, and USC offered Max. And then Jared went to Cal, and it's like, so all of his buddies that he grew up with, like, a lot, a good amount of them are crushing it and that would be very, very difficult for a lot of people. And I'm so proud of him for the way that he looks at his story independently and is able to like be really celebratory for these guys he knows also work their asses off. And it, it doesn't work out for everyone, but it is, it is very sad. Like the day he called me and said so he long, long, long story short, he went drink. Every time I say that, he, he went to.

[B]

I love a girl who's concise. Ye listeners do too. They're like, let's get to the fucking point.

[A]

I am literally, I'm so that way. They're like, and what happened? And I'm like, she fell. They're like, could you like elaborate time? You're like, she's on the floor.

[B]

That's the only thing that matters. So actually.

[A]

So he goes to Pitt. He was voted captain with only like a small amount of time. Knowing the guys is a huge impressive to this day. Like, he's really proud of that. He gets some. He starts, he sets a record, has an amazing game against Rice. ACC offensive player of the week. Career ending ACL or sorry, a career ending. Torn labrum injury. So it has this terrible play. Shoulder is dislocated. He would not say he had a career ending injury because he doesn't like the victim mindset and he likes to take accountability for his, his life and experiences and I respect him for that. Although I'm like, it was career ending.

[B]

I don't want to do that. But Maxim will applaud you.

[A]

Yeah, he's such a better person than me. So anyways, he rehabbed that shoulder. Got it to a place where he did attend a few NFL like tryout camps. He will say his arm was never the same, but he'll also say, I had opportunities to get it done at USC and it pit before whatever and it didn't work out. So very sad. And the day that he called me to say, you know, I've got to hang up the cleats. Like, heartbreaking. Especially when you're the support system and you believe in this person and you've seen all their ups and downs, it's like really hard because you're like, no, you can keep going. Like it's going to happen. Like, what about one more try? And it's like, but when someone else, athlete or not, is telling, telling you, I'm at peace with how this has gone. And I'm ready to do something different. The best thing we can do is, like, support them in that and then do our own mourning and our own grieving of the story or the life we thought we wanted for someone we love.

[B]

And I feel like it takes a really great, like, partner to be able. I'm not saying that I'm a shitty partner, but it does take a mature, like, okay, this is your decision. Like, I'm going to support you. And I'm sure he's so grateful to have you for that New Year. New Me. No, it's the same ally. But I do love the New Year. I love January. I feel like everyone you know is just coming off the holidays and is, like, revitalized. They're fueled up. They have their goals. They have their 20, 25. Like, what do I want to do? And you know what's on my list? I want to create a capsule wardrobe. And I'm doing that thanks to Quince. Quince has the cutest clothes from their Mongolian cashmere sweaters, from $50 to their activewear. And I'm again New Year, New me. Another goal I have for the New Year is to stick to my workout routine. And what better way to motivate yourself other than some new activewear? 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And so Thrive Market, it's really easy to just like one click of a button and I can go through all of my options. And then one feature I absolutely love is a healthy swaps scanner in the Thrive Market app. So you just scan a product that you're used to buying and it instantly recommends a cleaner, healthier alternative. And that is something I can get behind. So if you guys are ready for a junk free start to 2025, I suggest heading over to thrive market.com sundae and get 30% off your first order plus a free 60 gift. That's T H R I V E market.com Sunday thrive market.com Sunday I feel like even throughout college you went through your own experience. I mean, he's going through his, you're going through your. So in college you dealt with, I mean, binge eating disorder, mental health issues. Can you kind of like, you don't have to go into. Yeah, but like, you can discuss that because I feel like a lot of women and even some men go through that in college. I mean, not even some men. Maybe a lot of men. Yeah. So talk a little bit about that.

[A]

College is a huge adjustment, athlete or not. You're away from your family. You're trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. You are trying to make friends and fit in. You are probably eating new foods, you have new routines.

[B]

There's a lot bagel every morning.

[A]

There's a lot of things that are different. And you're also hopefully like exposing yourself to different people, communities. You're hearing about someone who grew up somewhere else and like their life and what their family celebrates and like, it's just, it's so cool in that way. And it's overwhelming because you're like, oh my God, I'm figuring out who I am and you're stressed and you're anxious. And at the time, for me, I also had the volleyball aspect of I want to play. We were the number one team in the country. We were 22 games undefeated. Like, I was playing as a true freshman. Thank you. So I was like, also just the anxiety of I don't want to fuck it up, I don't want to make a mistake. I, you know, I want to have everything together. I remember like My mom will say, like, the time she came to visit me, she's like, I either was crying or sleeping. And she's like, and the times you were crying, you couldn't verbalize to me what was wrong. Like, and.

[B]

And your mom has the audacity to say, but pickleball.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I know. So, yeah, it was a lot. And as far as, you know, the issues I dealt with, I feel like I have a very perfectionist type personality. And I know what it sounds like to not be that way and hear someone say, I'm a perfectionist. My business, my biggest weakness. I'm perfectionist. I totally hear that. And I'm not trying to say that in a way to, like, indirectly compliment myself. Ask my therapist. Okay. I'm constantly optimizing, how can everything be as good as it can possibly be for others? For myself, I'll be in a situation and be like, but if my chair was sitting right here, like this, this whole dinner would be way better. Like, my mind goes like that.

[B]

I am not a perfectionist.

[A]

Give me.

[B]

I think. I think my entire, like, team behind me probably wishes, but I am not. So it's crazy to hear, like, you talking about that. Is that you always, like, looked at things as, oh, it could be better, or, like, if I was doing this, it would be better.

[A]

Right? I'm. I literally am always thinking about that and to the point where. And maybe now we'll see how emotional I'm feeling today. But all when I think about how my mind works in certain situations, it is exhausting. Like, because I'm constantly, like, scanning. Are they happy? Have I asked enough questions? Did I do this? Are they thinking that I'm being nice enough? Like, does everyone have what they need? Have I. Like, that's how it works for me. And that's why, like, I love my time with, like, my literal people. Or just, like, Max, because I feel like I'm off. And Max will say to me, you do this to yourself, like, in the. In the nice way is, like, you can be off.

[B]

Like, you're right.

[A]

You're a great person. You can be off. You don't have to be scanning. Like, chances are you're going to be nice, ask questions, and everyone's gonna have a good time if you don't think about doing it, you know? But, like, for me, it's such. So, literally, I had therapy this morning and something we're working on.

[B]

I need your therapist number because you seem, like, so healed in the best way.

[A]

I've done a lot of work. Like, I will like a lot. I honestly, if people want their whole life flipped upside down, you got to be ready for the call. Read the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

[B]

Okay. I'm actually gonna listen to it on audible on my way home then.

[A]

And if you do read it and you're like, what the am I reading? I can't even comprehend two senses of this book. My best friend Aubrey and I did a podcast called so Much to say where we do a book club so you can literally read it, be so confused, and then listen to us talk about it and we dumb it down.

[B]

Okay. Okay, that's beautiful. Okay. So that book helped a lot. And therapy helps with.

[A]

With the self awareness. Like, so I dealt with anxiety, and then the anxiety coupled with not feeling okay in my body and counting calories and wanting to lose weight and kind of resisting the freshman 15. And then just that hodgepodge of not knowing how to deal with these things, not having a therapist or seeking any support at that point in my life because I thought I had to have all my shit together. That led to, of course, a big depressive episode of being so numb, so strung out, so tired. So that was kind of how my. Those three things worked. And the. A highlight of the challenge I experienced.

[B]

Oh, my God. I mean, that sounds. Well, it's crazy because it sounds like you've looked in the past and been able to, like, grow from that. Whereas then I feel like if you don't do the work to improve, you look up five years later and like, wait, I'm still dealing with some of the same that was going through. So after Max, like, formally was like, okay, I'm. I'm done with football. Did he move back to California? You guys get married? Like, what did that look like?

[A]

No, he said, and I'm gonna move to New York. And I said, what? And he was like, yeah. So another thing, speaking of, like, how to be honestly make relationships and long distance work, this is if I'm putting the honestly, I think one of the most powerful things you can do in a relationship is constantly put yourself in the other person's shoes.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

When I hear couples fighting, literally. I was at Starbucks the other day. I heard this couple going at it, and I literally wanted to, like, interrupt me thinking I could help, Right? I didn't. I wish. Who knows? But I hope I don't get divorced. But. But literally, both of them, they. I swear one of them could have said, like, purple dinosaur, and the other wouldn't even heard A weird word, because you. They're only thinking about themselves. Like, you're literally so rooted in. I don't care, because this is my situation.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Chances are, hopefully, okay, there. There are exceptions, and there are asshole men, particularly. But, like, if you are two people who love each other and you're constantly like, put yourself in their shoes. And so in this situation, Max, his dream, his childhood dream, he was Gatorade player of the Year. He's not some guy who had this dream, and it's like, okay, yeah, but.

[B]

Gatorade Player of the Year is intense. No, I win. I went last year and I was like, oh, this is insane.

[A]

No, like. And I say that to say I'm not. I'm. I'm not like, oh, my boyfriend could have made it and he couldn't have. Like, everything in his life was, you are the person who's supposed to make it. So now that's not happening. You don't have a resume of internships you've done. You've never thought about another option.

[B]

And he says, and this is before nil. So, like, you're also broke.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No. What. What would have been like, a 50 million dollar, like, contract out of. Out of high school. And, like, even if it doesn't work, okay, you have the money, which. Good for the people who get that now. No, that wasn't the case.

[B]

I was paying Isaac's rent in college. Okay, who is the sugar mama? Okay.

[A]

That's iconic. So he said, you know, I love this guy Gary Vee. I love his videos. I love following him. I really respect his mindset, and I want to work for him. And, oh, hey, my buddy Sam Darnold, who got drafted to the New York jets, which is Gary's, like, chosen team. So now as buds with. With. With Gary, I hit Sam up to see if he put a good word in, and I. And they want to. I can have an internship. So.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. There's a lot of things that happened.

[B]

Oh, man. Did he manifest.

[A]

Sweet. Sam's like, sure, Max. Like, this is the least I can do, buddy. I'll connect you with Gary Vee. So. So. And honestly, as hard as that was for me, I'm still finishing school. I would love Max to be here. We've just did long distance to Pittsburgh, and now you're gonna move to New York. But if I said no, and I said no, I need you here so we can, like, hang out on the weekends and I can be with you, right? Maybe he would have resentment. I never went and saw I never. This was the only glimmering thing that was bringing me, like, excitement for what could be next. That's not football. And I was like, you know what? I'm. I'm in school no matter what. Like, his plan is to come back at some point. Like, we love each other dearly, and, hey, we're gonna have the rest of our lives together. We already talked that way, so this is going to be such a small fragment in time compared to the life we have together. And it is. I think back, it's like such a distant memory. But he got to have that experience, feel motivated. He came back and he worked another content job for a different media mogul. And then he pivoted, and then he pivoted again. And, like, we both have been so supportive of each other's career pursuits. And Max, the same to me. Like, he never was, you know, texting me and making me feel like I had to be glued to my phone or reporting where I was or, you know, even now with the trips I have, he's never like, but I want to hang out with you, like, on Sunday. Like. Like, we prioritize.

[B]

It makes you feel guilty.

[A]

Yes, we. I think something that works for us is we both are pretty ambitious, and we have our own, like, careers and lives, but also this beautiful life together. But then we respect the independence, and he has his friends, I have mine, and we have ours.

[B]

I mean, fucking. Is this not the picture of, like, a fucking perfect little relationship?

[A]

We do a lot of communication. It's not like we actually. Can. I. I. Sorry. Now I'm ranting so much. No, I keep talking.

[B]

No. Yeah, okay. Please.

[A]

So.

[B]

Because I feel like.

[A]

Okay, now I'm, like, destroying the studio.

[B]

No, but I feel like this is what, like, I feel like I would want from a podcast. Like, tell me what works for your relationship. Like, overly communicating, like, whatever.

[A]

Yeah. Because especially when you say, sounds like the perfect relationship. You know, of course I feel that way. I love him. I love our marriage. I also. Do we get in arguments? Yes. Have we gotten upset and cried?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, that doesn't not happen for couples. But I think we were talking about this at dinner the other night. I think what is the reason that it is the way it is is because some people, I feel like, have. Which analogy do I want to take? We came up with. We came. This is us at a dinner, like, just talking about. We came up with two. Okay, tell me if you want. Tell me if you want the chair or the table.

[B]

The chair.

[A]

Okay. So you know how you have that chair in your room or your house where you just, like, throw clothes. Yes. Okay. Everyone has that chair. I feel like if you're thinking of a relationship, let's say it's that little issue, like they said, a comment that really rubbed you the wrong way, and that's a sweater on the chair, but you just kind of keep going. And then the next week, something happens, and they throw jeans on the chair and it keeps piling up.

[B]

Right?

[A]

We are normal, and there is stuff being thrown on the chair. But every single day, we clean that chair, we pick up the jeans, we fold them, and we put them away. Like, we talk about the little things as they happen. So we don't have this giant pile that makes us become the Starbucks couple who cannot hear each other. Because I can't see. It's the four Starbucks because I can't see you because the pile is so ginormous. I'm suffocated by the pile. So when things come up, which they do, we talk about it immediately, and we problem solve and, like, put ourselves in each other's shoes. We have a rule of we. There's never screaming, there's never swearing. We don't raise our voices. I'm a huge fan of taking a break. A breather. Like, I used to think, never go to bed upset. We go to bed every night loving each other. But sometimes we have nights where it's like, that bothered me. And honestly, I'm not sure the solution. I'm not sure what I need from you next time I need to think about it. So I'm gonna go just get our. Get the groceries tonight, and I'm gonna come back and I need some time to think. Not everything has to be solved immediately.

[B]

Yeah, I. I'm totally for the, like, taking a break, even if it is overnight. I hate when people are like, don't go to bed upset.

[A]

We still kiss, and there's love felt right. But I'm a little frustrated. But I. We can't solve it now. Maybe. Yeah, but we know we have each other's backs, and we're not going anywhere.

[B]

Which is such a healthy way to look at it. Like, hey, I'm gonna be here tomorrow morning.

[A]

Which is the benefit of marriage. I mean, obviously, it's very, very, very true. Obviously, divorce happens. But we were kind of in an argument like, a week ago, and we, like, start to giggle. Like, we pause it. We're like, wait, it's so funny. Because he's like, nothing's gonna happen. We're stuck with Each other.

[B]

That's actually so comical, because it is true. It's like, what's the.

[A]

The.

[B]

What's the worst thing that's gonna happen?

[A]

We have to work through this.

[B]

There's literally no way.

[A]

As long as you are abiding by the promises and commitments we made with this marriage. Right. Like, I'm always like, if you cheat on me, there's no working through it.

[B]

Like, yeah, no.

[A]

So true.

[B]

And it's crazy because. Okay, so when he goes off to New York, something. I also think that me going on.

[A]

These rants and Ally bringing me back, the timeline is cracking.

[B]

No, it's all relevant. Okay. But I feel like when in the women or even men listening to this podcast who are like, oh, wow, like, my relationship like this. My significant other wants to do this, but, like, it's gonna take away from time, from us or whatever. The craziest part is that I feel like the times I've let Isaac free, it has benefited both of us and made our relationship stronger. And I can only imagine if Isaac, like, let's say last year when he, like, was up and down with the Raiders, I was like, you know what? Can we just be done with this? If I force him to do that, Like, I have no idea what that would mean for our relationship, what that would look like. Resentment. Like, there's just so much. And that chair is looking like there's a ton of laundry on it.

[A]

Yeah. And honestly, like, that's how I think you see. As relationships develop, the communication lacks. People start unhealthy coping mechanisms, whether it's with gambling or drinking or adultery, like, because you don't have the ability.

[B]

So, like, you were, like, the cleanest. Like, I'm like, oh, and then he cheated on you with your best friend.

[A]

Well, honestly, the reason I did that is because we were coming off of the Isaac example. So I wanted to really detach it because Isaac is, like, such a golden retriever human being. But I didn't want to be like. And then what if Isaac starts drinking?

[B]

Like, sounds so healed.

[A]

I have. I literally came. I went. Came from therapy this morning. Like, it didn't. I've done it.

[B]

Like, I'm great.

[A]

No, but I'm saying, like, it takes a lot of work. But when you do, I just go.

[B]

Into a murder podcast this morning, so I'm coming off a different type of high.

[A]

That stuff's good, too. What I would say is for the people listening who do have someone who want to make this big change for themselves, and it does affect you. I Think it's really important to make sure you differentiate between like, okay, what can you self soothe? Like, do you not want them to go do this? Because you don't feel confident in your social relationships and you don't feel like you have enough friends to occupy your weekends and if they leave, you'll have literally nothing to do. But is that really the right reason to not let someone you love pursue something or should that happen? And then you can grow by putting yourself out there and trying to build some friendships and before I'm in therapy right now, yeah, to sit with the discomfort of what you don't. Because honestly, like for example, with Max being a full time broadcaster this season with the CW, he was like, Babe, I'm gonna be gone for 15 weekends, 14 of those in a row. That, that's, that's difficult, that's not easy. And so I also had to say, okay, like I'm so happy for you. This is your, this is your dream job right now, right? And Every Tuesday at 4pm we need to block. That's our time, right? We're both going to commit. That work ends at 4 on Fridays. Fortunately, I have the luxury to do that. I'm self employed.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And he was able to say, okay, if I'm going to be working on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I can give you my. So then I knew, okay. But every Tuesday we have our special time. It's just ours. Like, like it's also okay to be like, all right, I'm gonna flex in this huge way for you and this is what I need. I need then our mornings to not have our phones or I need you to go on a 30 minute walk with me every Friday. Like it's also okay to say, and this is what I need to feel good in this commitment as well.

[B]

That's such a healthy way to view it. And it's, it, I feel like it at that point, like both people feel comfortable and confident moving forward and allowing like, like the space to grow. Because I think with anything that involves growing, it, it's a little uncomfortable, right? Like you're out of your routine or you're out of your community or you're doing something new. And it's scary. And so I feel like that those experiences will help you grow, but also help your relationship grow, help you grow like stronger together, take a new route. And I feel like that's like the projection of like a good relationship is allowing each other to do what each other wants, but then also still like finding the time to like make each Other comfortable.

[A]

Yeah. My concern is we'll lose quality time if we don't have our weekends. Okay, what's our solution? Let's pencil it in on Tuesday nights and we won't see friends, we won't watch. Like, we'll do what we want, you know, so we do a lot of the thinking ahead of, like, hey, this is what makes me nervous about this. And then here's how we can soothe and like, accommodate.

[B]

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[A]

Yeah, I. It was a lot of my teenage years. Like ever Since I was 12, I can think about being on a diet until I was like 19.

[B]

So how in your adult life? Because now there's alcohol involved, there's food, you're cooking on your own, there's date nights. How are you dealing with healthy relationship with not only food but also your body?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So especially as like a former D1 athlete where you're like applauded for having all those muscles and looking so in shape and toned and you have like a set workout every single day to now it's like all on you.

[A]

It was a huge adjustment for sure. And what I will say for me has been the biggest blessing in my life that has allowed me to feel like I have a peaceful relationship with food in my body has been the practice of intuitive eating. And intuitive eating is a mindfulness framework. It's an approach to food where you are thinking about what your body needs, wants. Wants is craving or how to fuel yourself so that you're gonna feel satisfied and not just in like the emotional way, but in more of a holistic way. So for example, a lot of people probably think about food like, oh, I eat what is, quote, healthy. Like, so I have a salad because I'm supposed to have a salad. Or I have three meals a day because the magazine said it. Or I have six small meals a day because that magazine said it. Or I have egg whites because I've just heard they're better for you. But what would you eat for breakfast? If you took a moment to breathe and say, what am I actually craving and what does my body want now? People might think, well, I would have cake because I'm asking myself what my body wants. I would have cake for breakfast. Okay, let's follow that train of thought. You have cake. Okay, what do you have for lunch? If you eat what your body wants? More cake, what do you have for dinner? Maybe Taco Bell. Okay, great. If you're really doing this the next day, the next day, don't you think by Thursday you're gonna be like, ah, cake sounds not that great, right? I actually think I would love a cold crunchy carrots with hummus and maybe some crackers. And that feels amazing. And then your friend might say, but do you want these cookies?

[B]

Nah.

[A]

I just had cookies three days in a row, and I can have cookies whenever I want, so why would I want them now?

[B]

So this so interesting.

[A]

Yes. So that's like.

[B]

Because I'm immediately. I'm like, I want pancakes with blueberries. That sounds incredible.

[A]

But a lot of. I realized that a lot of what I wanted was because I was dieting and it was forbidden and I was not allowed to have it. So of course, when I'm at an event and there's a buffet table, all I'm thinking about is the buffet table. The buffet table. The buffet table. Like, because I can't eat. And I. I ate before I came, so I specifically would not eat here to control it. And I can't touch the table. And so you're talking to people, but you're thinking about the food. When you're. When I'm intuitively eating, I'm like, wait. The buffet table actually looks so gross. I would rather wait and use this hunger on. After this. When we go through the in n Out drive, throw through.

[B]

Like, it's crazy because I literally go after every single event. I go to in and out after.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's the best I would do if I was taking your drive. That'd be like the. Get me through it. Right? Yeah. But this is all very high level. This is me explaining intuitive in the highest way. Of course it's going to be difficult and there's challenges and you have to build the trust with yourself. The. The trust for me to think I'm gonna allow myself to eat whatever I want and not go binge 4,000 calories. One time I had had, I think six Krispy Kreme donuts in like 20 minutes. No. And then I played volleyball practice.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

No. It was so. The discomfort I felt, it was because I was not allowed to have donuts. And I was like, okay, well, I'll have one. And then my teammates kind of left the locker room and I was like, okay, we'll have another. And then I was like, well, after this, I'm definitely gonna, like, really stick to my diet and I'm not gonna have any more donuts, so I'm gonna have one more. And like, it's like, you're. It's all not even real. It's not even real because of. It's this diet culture voice and when you really work to heal that and it. I would recommend the book Intuitive Eating by Elise Resch and Evelyn Tripoli. I would recommend their Intuitive eating workbook. Elise Rush has that. And then Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Janine Roth is the book that really transformed it for me.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I talk about this a lot on my page, if.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And on my podcast I have like probably 20 episodes on Intuitive eating, if you want to search real.

[B]

But Intuitive eating, it is, it is so interesting. And I wonder how many other athletes. Athletes deal with issues related to eating because I. Not to expose my husband, but like, Isaac has a horrible relationship with eating and sometimes I just have to like, put him in check. Maybe he should talk to you.

[A]

Does Isaac want to come on Real Pot for the exclusive?

[B]

Oh, my God, Yeah. On body image, like, Isaac has tried so many things and he struggles because I mean it. I think it's so tough watching somebody go through like the, the mind stress and then like looking in the mirror and looking at the weight like he just did a three day fast. I'm like, that's not healthy for anybody.

[A]

Well, and for him and a lot of male athletes you have, especially in football, you have been told to hit like a 4000, 5000 calorie mark every single day. He's competing with the other.

[B]

You have to be a certain weight.

[A]

People in his position group who are giant and he wants to be as physically bigger. So. And then when that's taken away, he's like, oh, hey, my. Actually my natural set weight, which, which is everyone has their natural set point weight, is probably lower than like the over index he's been doing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then that's weird because it's like, hey, but I've always been the big strong guy, so that, you know, that's weird. And I really empathize with men because it's also stigmatized that they, for them, the amount of men who talk about body image issues is very micro compared to the amount of women who talk about body image issues. But.

[B]

But I feel like the struggle is there and the same exact.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Crazy. So then where does the relationship with how you view your body? Because intuitive eating sounds great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then when you start to see your body maybe change or it's not changing. How. How did you come to grips with that? Especially as like a woman in her 20s, I think. And I, I mean, speaking for me personally, like being in my 20s, I'm like, okay, so I don't have the same metabolism I did when I was younger. Oh, so now if I drink, I'm going to feel really hungover the next. Oh, and now if I do this, and if I do this, and then, like, all of that. So how did you become okay with, like, my. I'm confident in my body.

[A]

It's taken a lot of time. So I want to say that. Yeah. Also I want to say that I am objectively a thin white woman, so I am closer to this beauty standard than other people might be. And I want to recognize that because, you know, know, I applaud you. That's there.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Let's call it out. And then to get to answering the question, I remember what it was like to feel like, absolute shit about myself and to look in the mirror and not, like, what I saw and to be in a dressing room. I'm getting kind of sad to be in a dressing room and cry because I'm not wearing the number that I want to wear in the dress. And to step on the scale and not see the number I want to see. It breaks my heart to think about it now. So I think what I realized is, okay, so what are my options? I can go on these. I can dislike. Say I dislike my body. So I'm gonna go on a diet to fix it. Okay. The diet's not gonna work because 90% of diets end in failure, and 85 to 90% of people who go on diets end up gaining the weight and more back. They don't work because of the restriction. It's never gonna work if you don't. If you're not happy in your skin, skin, gentle changes. Move your body because you know it's good for you and because you want to feel joy. Don't go to workout class because the thought is, I hate myself and I have to go to this class.

[B]

That's a horrible way to live life.

[A]

It is. And I used to do that stuff. And also, like, instead of taking things away that you. You're not allowed to eat, try to add in foods that, you know, fuel your body well and make you feel good. And let's take a different approach in 2025. Right? But I think for me, like, I always come back to peace. Peace with myself, and food is more important, and it is the life I want. It opens me up for so many other things than getting caught up in the cycle. It's difficult. Everyone is on Ozempic. It feels like, okay, oh, my God. And I literally actually was crying to Max about this the other night because I was like, I feel like I had to do all this work to heal and to, like, accept. And it's now, like, take this thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then don't have this problem. And of course, you know, know those people might not be having to do the work, and then they might need to do the work later on in their life, or it might come up in a different way. I don't want that for people. I want everyone to have a good, happy life. Right. But, you know. Yes. I look around and I'm like, you know, oh, if I had the younger version of me would have wanted a skinnier body. She would have. So. But to be okay in my skin now, I think I've just really worked through a lot of acceptance. I had to do things. Like, I wasn't getting in pictures with my friends at this point in college. I was like, you know what triggers me? I'm gonna get in pictures. They're all gonna be smaller than me. They're gonna be shorter than me, they're gonna be more petite than me. I'm gonna hate the way my arm looks or whatever. So I'm just not gonna get in them. And I'm gonna actually just put on an outfit that feels pretty and I'm gonna enjoy the night. I stopped getting on the scale. I. I deleted Facetune. I'm just gonna stop putting every picture through a filter and subconsciously telling myself I'm not good enough without Photoshop. Like I say, what are these habits that are contributing for me to be stuck in this I'm never pretty enough and my body's never good enough mindset? So there was that. And then also it's crazy, though, because.

[B]

All, like, especially in college, like, everybody's using Facetune. Everybody's doing a diet. Everybody's like. And so it's. I feel like there's also, like, all this peer pressure not to do drugs or alcohol, but, like, try out this new diet. Or, like, God forbid, like, now in college, like, if you're gaining the freshman 15, like, maybe people are like, I'm going to do a zempic. Because it's just like, I know it'll keep the weight off.

[A]

I get ads for the little semaglutide 1 pills and the gummies. Like, it's. It's so now even more attainable than, like, getting the inject. I don't even know how it works, but I think it's like a needle. Right. It's like this whole thing, and now they're, like, marketing it and, like, take.

[B]

It as a vitamin.

[A]

Yeah. And it's it is. It's difficult to see. I'm very grateful that I'm where I am now when this is all coming out. Because when I was younger, that was all I wanted and wished and prayed for. I would Google how to lose £30 in a month. Like that's what I wanted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's difficult. And I still, even being where I'm at, struggle and have my days where I'm like, this is hard to see online, but I think people really need to get real with themselves and think about, like, what actually to me is a meaningful life. It's so sad to see so many women think the most important thing in their lives is to be the prettiest.

[B]

You know, it's wild because now being postpartum, okay, I had my daughter about a year ago. I gained, I think like £40 when I was pregnant. She was a big girl. Okay. I became a big girl. It's fine. So when I gained all that weight, one, I didn't realize how hard it would be seeing myself gain the weight because I'm like, oh, I'm growing a baby. Yeah. Like, I want to get big. Like, I wanna, like. And then I will never forget that. My 20 week appointment, I step on the scale and they go, oh, you've gained X amount of pounds. I was like, oh, I did to know that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you have your baby and then the first thing, people are like, oh, how quickly can they bounce back? And I had a C section. I would say I stayed pretty, like, active throughout my pregnancy. So right after a C section, I feel like I lost a lot of blood and like a lot of weight. And now it was like all of a sudden, like thin. But then like a few months later. So then I get a lot of people being like, oh, you're like, unrealistic for bouncing back. And then a few months later, I'm like, oh, wait, I look. I look bigger than I'm used to. But it's crazy because I blame the fact that me growing up 6ft tall, always like 125, 130 pounds. Throughout high school, I always got the compliment, you're so tall and skinny. You should be a model. Tall and skinny, tall and skinny, tall and skinny. That now I'm an adult, I'm having like a normal body, that I'm not 130 pounds anymore. And then I have a baby. And then all this stuff that I place so much emphasis on being tall and skinny because that's what I was my whole life. Like Nobody ever was like, oh, I love your mind. You're so smart. Smart. I think, I think that was like, so well said. No, I grew up tall and skinny, so now I'm like, I'm not why I am tall, but I'm not skinny. So I think that's like a huge struggle. Is that like, I had so much emphasis on that and now I don't have that. I'm like, oh, okay, a few things.

[A]

I know we don't have time, me wanting to be time in. As your therapist, I would like everyone to notice that I'm not going to make any comments about your body because I think that that's important. I'm not going to validate what you're saying. I'm not going to say, no, that's not true. You're this because I want to emphasize to you it's not important to me in our friendship or in who you are. It's not important. So there's little things you can try to do to help you remember. And then also, if you want to take the feminist approach, like, women spend so much time in the mirror, on a diet, obsessed. Like, what is that time and energy you could be putting on your business, in making money in, like, things you want to do in your life. Like, men are not consumed in that way because the media has told them it's okay to age, it's okay to have a dad bod. It's hot to have a dad bod, right? Like, you know, but I, I, I know what you mean by like, you were praised for this thing, right? So then you have that identity, that question. But one more thing I'll say on that is I really want people who listen to this maybe to just start with this question, like, what if the most important thing is not being the prettiest? What if that's not the most important thing?

[B]

It's a hard question.

[A]

And the fact that we've been told that, that, that's like, that's what we strive for, really. It's why people, they go get the filler, they go get the this, they go, which is, I have friends that do it. It's all good. I have no idea where my life will take me. I'm not hating on it. But, like, we all do it because it's like, oh, I need to be prettier, prettier, prettier, prettier, prettier. What would your life be if being the prettiest didn't was not a game you were going to play anymore?

[B]

I won't comment on your exterior, but I'll comment on your interior. I feel like you're a beautiful soul.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Like, you're such an accepting person. So now that I've talked a little bit about my postpartum, I have to ask before we end the episode, like, how do you think becoming pregnant, if that's something you choose to do? I know this is a sensitive topic.

[A]

You can ask. I don't get offended. I know people do. I don't.

[B]

Okay, so if you plan to. Do you plan to get pregnant?

[A]

Yes, I would like to have kids one day.

[B]

Okay, so let's say, God willing, everything is fine. Fertility and all of that. Okay. I know a lot of women struggle with that. I know this is such a sensitive topic for so many people, and I.

[A]

Think going through it, you can't tell.

[B]

Just, like, going through. I know there's so many things that I'm like. But it. But, but, but. Okay, so let's just say all of that, we get it. But moving forward, how do you see yourself, like, preparing to maybe be pregnant, especially, like, in your mind? I'm not saying, like, oh, you need to start a new workout routine before you get pregnant so you can carry it through pregnant. Like, how do you view, like, doing the work before you get pregnant?

[A]

So, something that I've been curious about, and I don't know if there's research to show this at all, but because a lot of women are in this diet mindset, I wonder what it will be like. As an intuitive eater who isn't like, pregnancy is my excuse to eat whatever I want. If I will have that dramatic of a change in, like, and I don't know, because I know your. My body will get bigger, right? I know it will. But I also am not looking at pregnancy as, like, perfect. Now I can eat all this stuff I couldn't allow myself to eat because that doesn't exist for me. So that's something that I'm curious like. And I, of course, will document the journey when the time comes of how that goes, goes. I think, you know, I'm prone to stretch marks. I have them all on my inner thighs. Like, I think about, you know, if that will happen on my stomach and will I use a stretch mark serum? But if I do, doesn't that mean that I'm not accepting of, like, how my body grows? You know, So I have those thoughts. I feel like the thing that honestly makes me the scaredest is, like, the postpartum depression. Like, things I see as someone who's Been depressed. I don't know why. I feel like it's easier to be depressed again because you've, like, you know where the door is. It's just like, do you open it? So I think that's something where I. My biggest fear would be having my baby and feeling nothing. And I hope I'm. I feel very maternal and I. I love, I love. I'm a lover, but I love, love. Yeah, but I. That's something more than the body image stuff. It's the, like, the huge change to your life. I mean, Max and I will look at each other now and be like, where does a kid fit? Fit in? Yeah, where does the kid fit in? Like, we're both gonna make sacrifices. Like, I think that to me is the thing that gets me the most nervous. As opposed to body image.

[B]

Right. Which is so refreshing to hear because it, like, the. Your body's gonna change. It's kind of a fact. Your life is going to change. It's kind of a fact. But I feel like so many people talk about bouncing back physically and not bouncing back mentally. Like, where, like, where are you going to fill up your own own cup? Because I've quickly realized after dealing with postpartum depression, like, if nobody's filling up your cup and you're not taking time to do that, you can't be the best mother, wife, friend, partner with unless you give time to yourself. So that is so interesting hearing that.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

I don't have any advice for a few years.

[A]

Probably not for a few years.

[B]

Well, you have, but I will call.

[A]

You when the time comes.

[B]

Absolutely, absolutely. Like, honestly, my biggest advice postpartum, I see one of my friends on Tick Tock. Doing it now is like leaving the house is like my biggest advice postpartum. But I also feel like having a supportive partner helps a lot. I think that knowing that, hey, the next few months are going to be slower and I'm okay with that. As a Capricorn, I'm don't like that.

[A]

I'm always curious with creators. Like, because if you're working, I know people will roll their eyes. You're not working. But when your mind is thinking about content and you're posting and you're opening yourself up to thousands of feedback, that is. It's a lot on your brain.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I feel like a lot of the creators I see don't take too much off social media.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

They're like posting in labor. Oh, wait, was it you that had the brand deal?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

In labor. In the hospital. No, I think you told me about that.

[B]

I got. I think I did tell you about it. I got a brand deal. 24 hours. Well, I left my old social media management, wasn't able to take work for, like, this few months process. And then when I signed with my new management team, it was like the week before I gave birth. And they're like, oh, hey, we have this deal for you. It's due the, like, three days after you give birth. But, like, so we're gonna just give it to you because we legally have to. But, like, you don't have to do it. And I was like, okay. So it's the day before my C section. Isaac, I need to film this ad real quick because I was. I love working. I know, but it's so. It's so bad. I know a lot of women are like, please shut the up.

[A]

Because no, we are very. We are very blessed to have these jobs.

[B]

Yeah, they.

[A]

It is not one of the hardest jobs jobs, but it takes effort, energy, strategy, and time.

[B]

Yeah, like, you know, it's definitely interesting because there's. It's not the typical, like, maternity leave, but then again, the US doesn't have a typical maternity leave, and you could literally leave your newborn. So.

[A]

So I think about that. I'm like, what's my plan gonna be? Because I really value the rest and the recharge. But also, I think I'll probably be like, if I'm excited and I feel inclined to post and share, I will do that, but I'm not gonna set any expectations or musts.

[B]

Absolutely. Well, thank you for coming on. I actually. I selfishly love this episode because I feel like you can speak so much to, like, women and even men, anybody dealing with up and down. So thank you for coming on and yeah, thank you guys for listening. Be sure to tune in every Sunday. Sunday Sports Club podcast. Thank you.

[A]

Please note that this episode may contain.

[B]

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[A]

Individuals on the show may have a.

[B]

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[A]

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