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Hi, everybody. Suzio here. Now, what is the goal of money? The goal of money is for you to be secure. And there is no better way for you to be secure than having an emergency savings account. It is essential for your financial foundation. So all of you should be participating in the Ultimate Opportunity savings account at Alliant Credit Union. Go to myalliant.com to find out more. And be secure.
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Welcome, everyone, to the Women and Money podcast and everyone that's smart enough and nice enough to listen today.
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I can't help it. KT.
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Susie has a case of the giggles on May 7, 2026. And for those of you that would like to send a question to KT, because it's ask her anything, just send it to podcastsusie.com and if you're nice enough, I will select it. But the ones. The ones I have in front of me are no laughing matter. Ms. Orman. Okay, are you ready?
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No.
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All right, buckle up.
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I'm trying my best.
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All right, buckle up. Because these are trying. I'm labeling this podcast the Unthinkables. Yes.
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All right.
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You can't have fun every day because life doesn't deal as.
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Maybe we need to talk about something else. I calm down a little from laughing, which.
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What should we talk about?
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Well, this is May 7th, and we're really not here, Right? We're in. We're in. We're in Japan, right, Katie?
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Yeah, we're in Japan, but we're recording this before we left for Japan.
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But tell them why we're doing it.
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Because when we're in Japan, we don't have a recording studio. Especially on May 7, I'm going to be in Shinjuku with you in Tokyo.
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What's that?
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I'm not going to tell you anything. This is a big surprise, this trip to Japan. We've waited 25 years. A lot of you wait for good things to happen. I've waited 25 years to bring Susie to what I call the Japans.
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All right, so we're doing that. I'm coming down, everybody. Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm laughing. Yeah, we're not going to talk about it. Anyway, here's the thing. I also just want to say, kt, we have our date for part two webinar. Do you love it?
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With Fitzy?
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Right, with Fitzy. June 4, 6pm the day before my birthday. But just so all of you know, if you have already registered for part one of the webinar, which most of you did, 85,000 of you did anyway.
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Which was at the end of April.
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Right? Then fine. You don't have to worry. You're automatically registered for part two. You'll get emails and everything. If you didn't register, go to susie orman.com and register. Because I'm telling you, you're.
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Don't miss it.
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No, this one you don't want to miss.
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Do not miss part two.
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Do you know the title?
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No, I don't. Don't tell anyone the title. No, don't tell. Don't give it up yet.
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Why not?
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Don't. Don't give it up yet.
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All right. But anyway, it's with me and Fitzy. Okay. The entire time, Right? Just. Just.
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What does that mean? The entire time?
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The whole time.
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I'm not gonna come in and say anything.
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I wasn't planning.
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All right? I just wanted to hear her reaction.
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But if you want to, you can.
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They never invite me. They actually don't need me. Susie and Fitz are like two peas in a pot.
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No, tell them the truth.
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Brother and sister, they love me. They talk to me every day.
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She doesn't like being on the camera.
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I'm actually too shy to be in front of the camera. My job is.
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Because she doesn't think her hair looks good.
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No, no, no. My job has always been behind the camera, where I feel very.
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Katie. The only time we were about to do one that was on camera, halfway into it, like, in a few minutes, you're looking at your hair and go, what do you think about my new haircut? Do you remember that?
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Oh, that was a test you and I did.
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Was really gonna do it.
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Oh, no, no, no.
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All right, all right.
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Okay. So let's everyone get ready. Maybe it's too early to have a glass of wine or sake, but this is called the unthinkables. These are not the happiest emails I've received, but they're real.
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So what does unthinkable mean?
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Well, same as the what ifs. Like something's unthinkable. You would never think this could happen to you or your family or a loved one. These are unthinkable. And it has to do with money. And it has to do more with life, more with the what ifs, which are also what if unthinkable. So here we go. This is from Lily. Lily said, I'm so sad and heartbroken. Dear Susie and kt, I lost my son this year. It's been unbearable. I just want to. Want to hold him. My question is about capital gains. My son lived in a home that I bought for him because he was disabled. I took care of all of the expenses. I paid all the mortgage and paid off the house before I retired. I'm not sure what I'm allowed for the sale since it was my disabled son. Is there any way to get any capital gains adjustment? I know the house increased in value at least $300,000. Please help Susie. This has been so hard already. I don't want to be a burden to anybody and I don't want to keep the house. So thank you, Susie and kt. I trust you gals.
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So, Lily, here's the thing. Sweetheart number one, of course we're very sorry, very sorry for your loss. There's obviously nothing we can do about that or really say any more about that. However you bought the house, I'm assuming the house was in your name. I'm assuming that you're thinking that, all right, because he lived in it, he was disabled, that maybe you can get that $250,000 appreciation above what you paid and things like that. And maybe you won't have to pay capital gains on the 300,000 that you have. Well, guess what? You're just going to have to do. So there's not much you can do about was in your name. You did not live in it for two out of the past five years. So therefore you don't qualify for the 250. The only thing you can do is tally up every penny you paid over the years on that house. Did you buy a new refrigerator? Did you get in a new roof? What did you do? Add that real estate commission and everything? And, hey, worst case scenario, you have to pay some taxes. Not that bad, especially when you compare it to the loss that you just experienced.
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All right, kt, Susie, this next question isn't really an unthinkable. It's more of a what if.
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All right, you ready? Go on.
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Yeah. So from Carolina, she said, dear Susie, I hope this message finds you well. I'm writing because I would truly appreciate your advice about my personal situation. I am 61 years old. I live in the state of Florida. I have been living with my husband since the year 2000. We were married religiously under Jewish law 21 years ago, but we never married legally at the time because my husband comes from a very wealthy family. The prenuptial agreement that was presented to me was extremely difficult to understand. My own attorneys advised me not to sign it. Waiting five years to finally marry him and be accepted by his family. I decided I did not want to continue fighting and create bitterness before the wedding. I also converted to Judaism and hoped that with time he and his family would understand that I was with him because I loved him, not because of his money.
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Was loved. Best tense.
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I don't know.
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All right, go on.
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Today at 61, I do not have a job. I do not have anything in writing. At least nothing I have seen that guarantees I will be financially protected in the future. From what I have researched, Florida does not recognize common law marriage in a way that would give me spousal rights. My understanding is that only a legal marriage would give me those protections. So, Susie, that is my situation. My question is, what would you recommend I do to protect myself financially and make better decisions going forward?
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Carolina, listen to me. 20 some odd years you've been married to him, you converted to Judaism for his family. And that is not something that is easy to do. Not like you just go in and you do it. You have to sit down and talk with him. You really do. And you need to be very, very honest with him. And you need to say, in my opinion, I have done everything to show you and your family that I love you. But I need to know from you that you love me too and that you want to protect me in case something happens to you. What you have to understand is you are not legally married to him. And so therefore, if he dies, you don't have claim on anything, on anything that's in his name, the money, anything. When you sit down with him, you need to explain that to him and how that makes you feel. And that if he really loves you, he will make you be secure. He will show you. Has he included you in the trust, in the will? Can he put your name on the piece of real estate? Is there a life insurance policy where it all goes to you? And more importantly, will he legally marry you by the state of Florida laws? Will he do that? A civil legal marriage certificate? Because if he's willing to do that now, everything changes. You have both legs that you can stand on. So let's just say in a trust, he leaves you $10 million because he inherited from his whatever it is, you don't have to pay estate tax on that. There's so many things that you get to do. Social Security taking over his ira. You have to be legally married. Now, if he says, no, I can't legally marry you now, you have to think about this seriously. I'm so sorry to say then he needs to, because nothing's preventing this. Giving you a serious lump sum of money just in your Name having a life insurance policy where you are the owner, he is the insured, and you are the beneficiary and that you see that premiums are paid every single year on it. So those are the types of things that you need to do. The first thing you need to do is get yourself a really good lawyer. A lawyer that understands his situation, that is going to treat it with a lot of compassion and understanding and hopefully you can really make this family come together as one. You deserve that. After all this time, you deserve that. Next question.
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Katie, Susie, my next question.
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Is this another sad one? Uh huh. Thank God. At least I was sad.
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No it isn't. This is a great one.
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I started this podcast off laughing and so happy.
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This is a great one. This is from Jessica. I'm so proud of you Jessica. This is a great one. Dear Susie, I first started listening to you as a 30 something during runs on the treadmill after work. I called them Oprah runs. I watched that show while exercising every day and there you were. So many of your books, your CNBC show, the podcast. I woke up at 60 after two divorces and some tough times. But thanks to you, I also have two beautiful children now in college, each ready, each with $400,000 in 529 plans. I started those because of you and they are all set for undergrad and grad school for me. Lots of knowledge and Susie, with $2.7 million in the bank, I earned it, I saved it, I invested it. So this is a love letter to you, Susie.
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Don't get jealous, Katie.
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I'm not. I am smiling everyone. A love letter to you, Susie, from an underprivileged childhood with a mom, running from bill collectors, changing apartments, teaching my brother and I how to steal, sleeping under Salvation army coats because the heat was shut off to adult security. I sincerely want you to know that there are many, many lives you've changed and women you've inspired. Most of us just plan to write to you at some point. This is my moment. Thank you and love to Katie too. Are you crying?
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No, I'm not. But with joy. But I'm thinking, okay, Katie chose this. This is the unfold unthinkable show and so you chose this. Kt, tell me if I'm right or wrong because so many of you think it's unthinkable that you can go from less than to more than. That you can go from living on the streets and having no money whatsoever to be a multimillionaire with kids who have lots of money. And all kinds of plans and. Is that why you chose it?
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Yeah. No, I chose it because. Yeah. This is an unthinkable. Who thinks that can happen to you? And it can. Everyone. It is very, very doable. And Jessica just said, many of us want to write to you, Susie, but this is my moment.
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Oh. So we all need to take our moments. You know, Katie, we always think our life is unthinkable, even to this day. Everybody. And I swear this is true. KT and I look at what we have and we don't. You. We think it's unthinkable that our lives went from really having nothing and all these things to, oh my God, like, I just had goosebumps. I mean, even. We just can't really still to this day believe it's true. But we're so grateful. We're so grateful to all of you to be part of that. And grateful for everything. Right, kt?
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You know, I'm sitting here in our little condo in Florida on our way to Japan, and I'm looking around Susie's little recording studio and I see on the shelf two Emmys. I'm looking and staring at 10 New York Times bestselling books that she's written. I'm looking at photographs of her with Muhammad Ali. I'm looking at things around us. And it is true. You know, you have to sometimes pinch yourself and say, did this really all happen?
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I know.
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And when?
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It was awfully fast. All right, anyway. All right, next Katie.
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Okay, my next question. Susie and KT. I'm a 65 year old woman living in Florida and I wish I had begun following your guidance decades ago rather than just the past two years. Through experience in good therapy, I now understand the importance of financial independence. At age 52, after my children were grown, I pursued a long held goal of attending graduate school and becoming a therapist. I now have been licensed and deeply enjoy my work. So at 2022, my youngest daughter died suddenly, leaving behind her three year old son, Eli. After legal proceedings, my husband, not Eli's biological grandfather, and I adopted him. Eli is now 7 years old. My husband and I separated in January 2026 after 16 years of marriage. Apparently Susie, her husband had some drinking problems and she said, given my responsibility to provide a stable environment for Eli, I made the decision to separate and I expect we will divorce within the next two years. So she goes on to list both her financial snapshot and her husband's financial picture. And they're both very, very financially secure. But she has a dilemma. The dilemma is I find myself struggling with feelings of gratitude and guilt, which are making it difficult to assess what is equitable. I am grateful for my husband's role in adopting Eli and providing financial stability. At the same time, I'm responsible for ensuring a secure future for both Eli and myself. Susie, I would greatly value your guidance on how to approach this situation. So what she's really having trouble with and struggling with is clearly thinking about alimony, child support, and asset division. So she doesn't want her decisions to be clouded by emotion. There you go.
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You know, all of you, I tell you that if you write into a podcast@asksusie.com every once in a while, I peruse them, and if something catches my little eye, as many of you know, I will answer. And kt, I answer Denise directly on every aspect of every question that she asks. I'm curious as to how would you answer her.
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I would have no guilt at all. Just go for it. Do what's right. Take the alimony, the financial security, and whatever is coming your way and Eli's way. That's all there is to it. It's very simple. It's very straightforward. And you shouldn't be guilty. You're a therapist. You know better.
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Yeah. You know, one of the things like that she was offered was $4,000 a month for eight years while Eli is still young. And she may not think that's a lot of money, but $4,000 a month over eight years is 384. So one thing none of you should do when you're in a situation like this is look at anything on a monthly basis. Look at what that would mean to you or your son or your family over a long period of time, and then really, you feel guilty about that? I don't think so. So the real thing here that I find fascinating is at the bottom of her email, there are all her credentials. Therapy, health, everything. And what I wrote back to her was this. Can you imagine if one of your clients was you and saying this to you? What would you tell your client? Because you know what's funny, ladies? When it comes to. To us being strong for others, we do it all the time. Now, don't do this, go for that, don't do that. But when it comes to ourselves and asking something for ourselves, feeling like we deserve it ourselves, we go, I don't know. I feel guilty. He was such a good guy. Give me a break and go for it. Denise, next question.
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Katie, this is one of my favorite. I love this one. This is from Margaret. She said I'm so thankful for both of you and have learned so much over the years. I purchased the must have docs. I have a legal will in place that equally splits my estate between my three children. My oldest has joined a cult like church and does not speak with me any longer. I do not want my money to be given to this church and. And I am removing him. He has a minor child. I would like to leave a specific sum of money to for when she is older. Can you do this with the must have documents? Thank you so much for any advice you can give me, Susie.
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Now, the way that you would have to go about this, although you might really want to see a lawyer and set this up with a lawyer, you're going to have to find a trustee to for his daughter because otherwise, number one, she's a minor. You don't know when your death is going to happen. It could happen tomorrow. And therefore everything has to be in order as to who will be in control of this money. When does she get it? How does she get it? Because you have to give this far more thought, truthfully than the must have documents will do for you. Because trust me, if you have a trustee and now she or he is giving money to his daughter, don't think his daughter isn't going to turn around and give it right to him. How do you know that his daughter isn't going to be part of the cult as well? You have to give this serious thought because a lot of times when a parent is part of a cult, the daughter or the child becomes part of the cult. It's not just that, oh, she won't be doing it. She won't want to give everything to the cult. You have to think like that. I've seen it too many times, believe it or not. So therefore, if I were you, I would really go seek legal advice as to how you can set this up. The instructions that you would give the successor trustee, whoever's in charge of this and how you want it to work, it's just not as simple as what the must have documents would provide for you. All right, Katie.
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Okay, my last question is from Broken Heart.
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Oh, no, Katie, this has been quite my podcast. I'm so glad that we're in Japan.
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Broken Heart.
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All right, go on.
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I've been listening to your podcast for four years. I never thought this would happen to me. My husband passed away two weeks ago unexpectedly at the age of 52. Yeah, I am 54 years old. We have been married for 27 years. We have two college age children together. So he left quite a lot of money. And I'm just going to kind of cut to the chase here. Basically, Susie, she said I'd keep his 401k and IRA accounts the way they are. What is the best way to keep or invest his life insurance money? Should I have a financial advisor? And then she said, my kids and I are under my husband's health insurance. She has to switch that to hers. But then she writes and it's very sad. I. I am sorry. My mind is everywhere. To write this email is difficult. English is my second language. I'm sure there are many mistakes. I feel so much guilt to deal with his money that he can't spend anymore.
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Ah, guilt, guilt, guilt. Here's the thing. So I will answer it here, but kt, I will get in touch with this woman and talk with her because it's two weeks ago, two weeks ago. And she's writing about the money. What is my law of money? When it comes to death or divorce, you are to do absolutely nothing other than keep it safe and sound after experiencing the loss of a loved one. At least she knows that her mind is all over the place. Most of the time when I was actually seeing clients and something like this happened, even six months afterwards, they would come in, I would tell them what to do, and then three weeks later they'd come back and go, what did you say? I don't know what to do. So keep the money safe and sound. Obviously, if you have any debts, you want to pay off the mortgage and everything, because you're going to stay in the house and it may fine that you can do. You can see a financial advisor if you wanted to, but I would advise you, please don't because who knows what they're going to tell you to do. And I want to make sure that you don't do anything that could be a mistake. I don't want you to have any regrets. You feel so bad because he can't spend his money anymore. Do you know how bad he would feel if he knew you wasted it and did something silly with it? So nothing. Take care of your children, take care of yourself, and just keep everything safe and sound for now. Biggest mistake people make, kt, when they suffer the loss of somebody, they think they have to deal with the money right away. And that's when they do things that are so horrific, I can't even tell you. Want to know the most horrific thing that happened to somebody?
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Tell me.
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So I was seeing clients. This woman, right, had a life insurance policy, obviously, that she didn't get through me. That left her one or two million dollars. I can't remember the exact amount. And the insurance agent, right after the husband died, shows up at her house and says, I have a check here for you for one or two million dollars. Just sign it on the back and I'll deposit it for you and everything will be okay. She signed it on the back.
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Don't tell me.
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Yeah, gone.
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He took it.
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He took it and they never could get it back. Don't ask me why they couldn't get it back, but they couldn't. All right, so everybody, six months, one year, preferably two.
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Just grieve your loss and don't worry about anything.
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All right, so kt, let's wrap this because we're having such a good time in Japan, but there's really only one thing that we want you to remember, and it's this. If you haven't registered yet for the part two of the webinar, go to Suziorman.com and do so. You'll be sorry if you don't. That's all I'm going to say. But until Mother's Day, that's coming up on Sunday, we have recorded quite that. Susie. School for all moms. So moms, make sure you listen in. But until then, remember, people first, then money, then things.
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Now you stay safe.
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You take it away. Kt, Bye. Bye.
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We are strong, we are wise we will not apologize we are here, we will thrive Together we will rise we're
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the
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and everything it takes. We are strong, we are wise Together we will rise.
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I know and you know that there are many of you out there that have home equity lines of credit. But do you have one with a 3.99% fee, fixed interest rate for six months and then prime plus zero? I doubt it. So I want you to go to myalliant.com and check out what I think is the best HELOC on the market today.
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Neither Susie Orman Media nor Susie Orman is acting as a certified financial planner advisor, a certified financial analyst, an economist, CPA accountant or lawyer. Neither Susie Orman Media nor Susie Orman make any record recommendations as to any specific securities or investments. All content contained in this podcast is for informational and general purposes only and does not constitute financial accounting or legal advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and financial advisors regarding your particular situation. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman accepts any responsibility for any losses which may arise from accessing or reliance on information in this podcast and to the fullest extent permitted by law, we exclude all liability for loss damages, direct or indirect, arising from the use of this information. The must have documents mentioned in these podcasts are legal documents created by a lawyer and distributed by Hay House.
Episode: The Unthinkables
Date: May 7, 2026
Host: Suze Orman & KT
Duration: ~30 minutes
This episode, titled “The Unthinkables,” delves into the unexpected and often difficult moments that many face in life and finance—loss, separation, unexpected windfalls, and the complexity of protecting yourself and your loved ones. Suze Orman and her partner KT answer listener questions that showcase how “unthinkable” scenarios can arise and how to navigate both practical and emotional implications. The episode blends expertise, empathy, and personal reflection, offering tangible advice for listeners going through financial and personal life upheavals.
Closing Reminder (Suze):
“If you haven’t registered yet for the part two of the webinar, go to suzeorman.com and do so. Until Mother’s Day, remember: People first, then money, then things.” [29:12]