Small Block - Act One

Summary

Table Read – “Small Block” Act One | Episode Summary
Podcast: Table Read | Date: Nov. 11, 2025
Written by Ashley Lauren. Performed by a 20+ member cast, with cinematic music and sound.

---

Episode Overview

Main Theme:
“Small Block” Act One introduces us to P, a high schooler wrestling with identity, masculinity, and friendships during the mid-1990s. Through immersive dialogue, everyday absurdities, and razor-sharp nostalgia, the episode explores coming of age, parental expectations, toxic masculinity, and the push-pull of adolescent relationships.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segment Highlights

1. Opening Scenes: P’s Private Turmoil

(00:43–03:22)

• P meticulously shaves and changes shirts, clearly grappling with body image.
• He's writing something meaningful but ultimately burns his note (implied suicide note) in the bathroom sink, intercut with nervous rituals (the notepad, knife, phone).
• The significance of scent and appearance is established with P’s careful use of cologne.
• He chooses to call a friend, Kev, instead of making a more drastic choice, grounding himself in friendship.

"He gingerly lowers the pen to the counter. Hand trembles. He reads the note silently, face resigned."
(02:00, Narration)

2. Friendship and Insecurities: Conversation with Kev

(03:22–04:29)

• Kev and P quote and reference rock lyrics, hinting at their outsider status.
• Discussion of the upcoming dance and romantic uncertainties—P is anxious about ex-best friend Bex.
• Mirroring home conflicts: Kev’s dad shouting about AOL, and Kev’s wish to live with his mom instead.

“You gotta chill about Bex, man. You're my best friend now. You, not her. And you're cool as shit.”
– Kev (03:49)

3. Family Dynamics and Strict Perfectionism

(06:22–11:43)

• P’s Dad obsessively makes Beef Wellington, using it as a metaphor for protection and the need for layers to bring things alive.
• The family banters about movies, gender, and old Best Picture winners, with casual insensitivity.
• P’s dad throws away a perfectly good Wellington, revealing his perfectionist tendencies.

“A Wellington is a body, an ecosystem. Tenderloin is tender but there's no fat, no flavor. You have to put flavor around it for it to come alive first. What do we have under our skin and muscles? Organs. Thus…”
– Dad (08:05)

4. School Rivalries & The Gender Divide

(11:43–15:54)

• Quiz show scene in Mr. Welch’s class: Girls vs. Boys, with Bex leading the girls’ team.
• The battle over a Joan of Arc question becomes charged with gender politics.
• P gives up his chance to answer for Kev, setting up tension and guilt as Kev botches the movie trivia.
• Underlying resentment, performance, and rivalry—especially involving Bex.

“As captain, I elect Kev to answer.”
– P (12:54)

5. Hallway Taunts & Social Stakes

(16:14–18:28)

• The fallout from class: P and Kev are ribbed about the movie loss and perceived betrayals.
• Bex confronts P: “Is it cause I’m a girl?” (18:17)
• Social cruelty, fatphobic and homophobic putdowns, and group dynamics swirl.
• P’s sense of alienation deepens.

6. Band Practice – Making & Breaking an Identity

(18:47–21:46)

• Metal band Shadow King jams in Dizzy’s garage, bickering about musical direction (underground or popular).
• Discussion of image vs. authenticity: Korn, Pantera, and the power of “selling out.”
• P’s anxious intensity about meaning and legacy clashes with others’ pragmatism.

“Shadow King needs to make epic shit that changes people's lives. Dizzy, you don't want to sell out.”
– P (20:51)

7. Group Home Life – Closeness and Prejudice

(21:46–25:32)

• At Dizzy’s home, his mom (Mrs. D) lovingly prepares food, playfully joking with the boys.
• Tension as Dizzy makes an offhanded remark about getting treats “when I’m dying," hinting at an ill relative.
• Bandmates bond, review the yearbook—Kev feels bruised by Bex’s presence in P’s past and is deeply insecure.

8. Watching Ace Ventura – Comedy and Cringe

(25:41–26:58)

• The boys’ favorite scene is an aggressively transphobic gag, illustrating the pervasiveness of toxic humor in the ‘90s.
• Mrs. D’s confusion about the scene opens space for uncomfortable hilarity—highlighting generational and cultural divides.

9. Late-Night Banter: Masculinity, Death, and Funerals

(28:27–32:27)

• The boys riff on funerals, masculinity, and who would make the “best funeral mixtape.”
• Banter includes unfiltered, often phobic language, showing both period realism and thematic intent around self-worth, gender, and belonging.
• A stray, older, “man’s man” is imagined as a threat, echoing the dangers of toxic masculinity and fear.

10. The DeLorean Moment

(32:27–36:43)

• The plot pivots when a sleek DeLorean, driven by the enigmatic Ms. World, appears.
• The boys are awestruck; Ms. World surprises them with her encyclopedic metal knowledge.

“Girls aren’t always what you'd think.”
– Ms. World (35:10)

• P awkwardly tries to impress her with his song lyrics. Ms. World seems genuinely interested but also keeps boundaries firm.
• The encounter ends with Ms. World dropping sage advice:

“My biggest regret is the amount of regrets I have.”
– Ms. World (36:36)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• P’s early struggle:
  “He gingerly lowers the pen to the counter. Hand trembles. He reads the note silently, face resigned.” (02:00)

• Dad’s culinary metaphor:
  “A Wellington is a body, an ecosystem…” (08:05)

• Bex challenges P:
  “Is it cause I'm a girl?” (18:17)

• P to Ms. World:
  “Sorry I say stupid things sometimes.” (34:29)

• Ms. World’s genre breakdown stuns the boys:
  “So Megadeth, Slayer... Early Entombed and Obituary, though maybe Morbid Angel. Oh, and some Korn.” (34:45)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------| | 00:43–03:22 | P’s private turmoil, burning his note | | 03:22–04:29 | Kev & P’s friend call - emotional support | | 06:22–11:43 | Family cooking, movie talk, and perfectionism | | 11:43–15:54 | Classroom quiz showdown | | 16:14–18:28 | Social fallout, hallways, and group tensions | | 18:47–21:46 | Shadow King band practice | | 21:46–25:32 | Dizzy’s home, group banter, yearbook confessions | | 25:41–26:58 | Watching Ace Ventura, phobic humor | | 28:27–32:27 | Night banter, masculinity, death | | 32:27–36:43 | The DeLorean scene, Ms. World’s appearance |

---

Tone & Language

The episode masterfully shifts between biting humor, raw vulnerability, period-perfect slang, and uncomfortable but necessary depictions of prejudice. The dialogue is authentic to 1990s adolescence, blending teen crudeness with moments of pathos and empathy. The musical and pop culture references are vital texture throughout.

---

End of Act One.
Themes of regret, self-image, and adolescent longing linger, as P and friends look to the dance, wary but hopeful for connection or escape.

Transcript

[A]

All the games you loved growing up are on the App Store. Looking to spark some friendly competition with friends and family no matter where you're at, Turn your phone into the ultimate game Night. You can bankrupt your brother in Monopoly, go shout out hilarious clues to family and heads up. Challenge your best friend to a game of Uno, or get on a lucky streak in Yahtzee with Buddy Stice. Discover tons of classics you already love. It's all the laughter and connection of game night right in the palm of your hand. So what are you waiting for? Relive the games you grew up with now on iPhone. Search for your favorites on the App Store and let the games begin.

[B]

1, 2, 3 Table reads small Blocks Small Block Written by Ashley Lauren thank you for listening to Small Block. Please note that there is adult language throughout that is not suitable for young listeners. Furthermore, there are a few items that might be triggering for some readers. These include suicidal ideation, discussion, transphobic language, homophobic language, minor instances of fatphobic language. All phobic language is used intentionally for thematic reasons. It is not used without thought or due to either naivete or bigotry. Thank you again for listening to Smallblock. Now onto the show. Interior P's bathroom Evening holes Violet starts a mostly bare chin with a solitary black whisker. P14, muscular but fluffy with padding, face to the counter length mirror squints at his chin. He wears a purple beanie gray hole T shirt, jeans flannel around waist. Razor swipes the chin bare, meticulously swipes again, again. He picks up a small spiral notepad and a pen. He shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers. He writes intensely, pauses, takes a deep breath, continues. He gingerly lowers the pen to the counter. Hand trembles. He reads the note silently, face resigned. Nearby old Swiss army knife, cordless phone, Polo cologne. P flexes his arms, drops them dejectedly. His gray shirt creases along the underside of his pec. He pulls it taut but the crease reappears when he lets go. He tears the shirt off quickly, frantically dons a black T shirt for the band. Obituary from the floor. His body was barely exposed, pulls the tee taut. Let's go. The black hides his body better. P sprays Polo on his inner wrist, rubs his wrists together, then dabs his neck and cheeks, wipes the excess on his teeth. He studies the crisp new shirt. His face softens. His hand moves toward the knife but instead grabs the phone. He exhales, pauses. The CD boombox. Violet stops, dials ring. Never mind. He hangs up, reaches for the knife ring. The phone glows orange. P checks caller ID. Davidson. It's Kev14, half Japanese. P's bestie. Off screen for the scene, P answers.

[C]

You know in Coma where Axl's like when you said that no one's listening. Why'd your best friend drop a dime?

[D]

Again with that shit? I called you. I'm definitely listening.

[C]

I know, I know.

[D]

Axl lies in that song anyways. It's so easy to be social. It's so easy to be cool. My fucking ass.

[C]

Please.

[B]

P shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.

[C]

You thought much about the dance?

[E]

Why?

[D]

You think Bex has a date?

[C]

You gotta chill about Bex, man. You're my best friend now. You, not her. And you're cool as shit.

[D]

Yeah, well, no one at school thinks so. Especially not Bex. If Carla was here, I'd take her to the dance and then everyone see. Why are you asking anyway?

[B]

P hesitates.

[D]

Dude, do you like someone?

[B]

Kev's dad screams in the background.

[F]

Hang up. I need to get on aol. It's P. He can tie up someone else's line.

[B]

Kev's tone changes. He sighs, then talks quietly.

[D]

I wish I could live with my mom.

[F]

Ten more seconds and it'll be no CDs for a month.

[D]

Thank God for school.

[C]

Don't let him pollute your soul, man.

[D]

Lyrics write that shit.

[B]

9 Click the line goes dead. Pulls a beaten up chrome Zippo from a drawer. He tears the note from the notebook. The top spirals a trench of torn edges. Only half the pages remain. P returns everything to the drawer except the Zippo. He lights the page on fire, drops it in the sink. P leaves the bathroom as the flames ash up the page, eating backwards into the words starting with all you love I sorry I'm Interior P's bedroom Continuous metal band and movie posters line the walls. Candlemass mansion in uniform 1931 Pantera, Batman, etc. Over the bed framed full size Back to the Future poster with various signatures in silver ink corner electric guitar practice amp dumbbells the note VO continues as P walks to the bed it in.

[C]

Lie I'll bed my maid I stay should I why reason any see can't I sorry I'm love I everyone too.

[B]

Note suicide my on the desk model DeLorean yellow sports discman CDs there's a photocopy flyer that reads Pond Hill Homecoming 94 Middle School Dance. P picks it up and sits on the bed. He looks to the desk. A framed recent photo of pictures with a half Japanese boy the same age in front. Behind it pulls out a second framed photo. P younger and a girl at a water park. In the photo, P's eyes are red as if he's been crying, but he smiles joyously. The girl's mouth is open in a huge laugh, her arm protectively around PI. PI gazes at the picture and smiles. He looks to the dance poster in his other hand, face growing complicated when Beep beep. The smoke detector wails.

[C]

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

[B]

He runs to the bathroom, replacing the photo haphazardly. The pictures topple face down. The second on top of the first interior. P's kitchen. Short time later P enters his dad, 45, removes a large crepe from the stove and lays it alongside another on the center island nearby. Seared beef, tenderloin, mushroom duxelles, pate de foie gras, puff pastry, prosciutto di Parma, tootsie. On the 32 inch CRT TV dad scrunches his nose.

[G]

You fall into a vada cologne?

[B]

P flushes. He sniffs the air. Dad lays prosciutto in a tight even pattern across the crepes.

[G]

Your mom reminded me of today's significance. Pick a place. Anywhere you want. Except sushi.

[C]

Great. That's not dinner.

[B]

Dad laughs as he layers duxelles onto the ham.

[G]

I think not. One of the OR nurses. Christine is getting married. She loved the cake I did for our surgical tech. Been studying for the test?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Dad stops spreading pate on the duxelles, looks up. Swear.

[C]

Remember we went to see this? Best Picture 1983 nominee Jessica Lange won Best Supporting.

[B]

Dad glances at the screen.

[G]

Dressing up as a woman used to mean you were a Nancy. But he gets the girl so good on him.

[C]

I guess some like it hot too.

[G]

Jack Lemon in makeup. Ghastly.

[B]

Dad moves the tenderloin on top of the pate, then delicately encases the beef in the layered crepe. He pulls over a baking sheet with a layer of raw puff pastry.

[C]

Seems like a lot of work for steak.

[B]

Dad looks at P like he's a fucking idiot.

[G]

A Wellington is a body, an ecosystem. Tenderloin is tender, but there's no fat, no flavor. You have to put flavor around it for it to come alive first. What do we have under our skin and muscles? Organs. Thus.

[B]

He looks at P expectantly. P stares back blankly. Dad sighs.

[G]

Thus pate de foie gras. Rich, creamy, earthy. Then duxelles mushrooms. More earthiness. Then the Parma ham. Salty, fatty. Then the crepe you need to contain the juices, the essence of the beef. Trap it so the outside, the puff, isn't tainted. The result.

[B]

Dad points proudly to the lower oven. The light is on. A golden Wellington with exquisite lattice baking is a showstopper.

[G]

Look at that glorious little football. And the tenderloin. The heart is perfectly isolated and protected. Pass me another.

[B]

P gets a Dr. Pepper and a raw tenderloin wrapped tightly in plastic wrap from the fridge.

[C]

Holy crap. There's like 15 more tenderloins in here.

[G]

It's a wedding, not happy hour. You had the St. John's interview, right? Went well?

[C]

Definitely.

[G]

You better be taking this seriously. St. John's is. No, that's a school.

[H]

Brenda Nash told me there's a dance this Saturday.

[B]

Mom, 48, healthy but thin, enters with a wrapped present. Happy birthday in Japanese. Tonight?

[C]

Not this year.

[B]

Mom looks at dad, pleased but curious.

[G]

You don't get full at sushi. A dance, huh?

[C]

Not sure if we're going.

[B]

Dad looks up excitedly.

[C]

We, me, Kevin, dizzy.

[B]

Dad and mom exchange looks.

[G]

Football will be good for you.

[B]

P nods at the screen.

[C]

There's other ways to get girls.

[G]

None of them seem to be working. Change this shit.

[B]

P flips through channels methodically.

[H]

New shirt.

[C]

Gift from Kev. Dad, you like my shirt?

[G]

This. This. The best Jack Lemmon in this. Now that's a performance. You seen it?

[B]

P stops the TV on the apartment Best Picture 1961.

[C]

You took me to Casalinda.

[B]

Mom hands P her gift. Pea tears the carefully wrapped paper. He unfurls the present. A black entombed band T shirt.

[C]

Entombed.

[B]

Sweet Pea starts pulling it over his shirt. Mom shoots a good natured you kidding me?

[H]

Look.

[B]

P glances at dad, focused on cooking. He rips off his old shirt and pulls the new one on hastily, purple beanie in place. Dad glances up.

[G]

I thought you were gonna get diet Dr. Pepper.

[B]

P rapidly tugs down his shirt to hide his body as dad unwraps the tenderloin, places the beef in the pan. It sizzles. He removes the other Wellington from the oven. Perfect.

[H]

Gorgeous. That a tester.

[B]

Dad smiles mischievously, slices it proudly, pushes the slice to see. The beef is medium, a healthy uniform pink. His face contorts in rage.

[G]

Piece of shit. Oven calibration's drifted again. I should have gone with Viking. I fucking knew. This shit looks nice, but inside it's rubbish.

[B]

He opens the trash and shoves the whole Wellington in.

[C]

You don't want to taste it.

[G]

Beef's overcooked, ruined. Never be as good as it could have been.

[B]

Let's go to dinner.

[G]

I can't leave. I'm behind.

[B]

On TV. The apartment's Dr. Dreyfuss pleads with Jack Lemmons Baxter to grow up and be a mensch.

[G]

Words to live by. Okay, call pizza. I feel like pizza. Any toppings you want?

[B]

INTERIOR Pond Hill Welch's classroom Next day hand painted Homecoming 94 signs adorn the walls. The room's divided into a quiz show Arena. Two arcs of desks flank Mr. Welch's 34 desk, replete with lectern. True 90s style battle of the sexes. Boys left, girls right. Bex, 14, punky, overweight and confident as fuck, holds the baton. She's older now, but is clearly the girl from P's desk photo. A large Homecoming dance poster is off set behind her.

[C]

Joan of Arc.

[F]

Correct, Bex. Tie game.

[B]

Girls cheer. Boys grumble.

[F]

Okay, okay. One point bonus for getting the final question correct. Charged with heresy for spiritual visions she claimed fueled her quest. What secular activity earned Joan of AR charges of blasphemy?

[C]

Dressing like a soldier.

[B]

More specific, P. Tiny smile. Purple beanie just so, eyes Bex intently.

[C]

Dressing like a male soldier.

[F]

The girls take the lead.

[B]

The girls hoot. The boys turn to P, as does Bex.

[F]

P. P.

[B]

Waves them down. He smiles at Kev from the desk photo.

[C]

As captain, I elect Kev to answer.

[B]

P passes Kev the baton. Boys grumble, but a few show support. Kev smiles his time to shine.

[F]

The category is movies.

[B]

Girls groan. Boys cheer. Kev slumps. P slaps him on the back.

[C]

I got you.

[B]

P meets eyes with Bex. She smiles at him. P shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers.

[G]

What?

[F]

Barbra Streisand movie.

[B]

Mr. Welch's words drift away as a flash of silver catches PI's eye out of the window. A DeLorean drives down the street. P's eyes widen. Kev's hand nudges them back to the classroom. They whisper, holy shit.

[D]

I think it's Yentl. Sorry? Holy shit. I think it's Yentl.

[B]

Pete turns back to the window. The beautifully utilitarian steel of the DeLorean contrasts with the greenery around it.

[C]

Dude, Streisand. Probably A star is born.

[F]

5 seconds.

[D]

I swear it's yentl.

[F]

4.

[C]

You're terrible at movie stuff. I'd be shocked if it was Yentl. What was the exact question?

[B]

Kev looks at P, stunned.

[F]

3.

[D]

What was the exact question again?

[F]

Sorry, Kev. Gotta answer now.

[B]

1. Kev glances frantically at P. P gives him a thumbs up. A star is Born silence as everyone waits. P looks out the window. The DeLorean's gone. He turns back to class.

[F]

The film that garnered Barbra Streisand the first ever directing Golden Globe for a female director in 1983 is.

[B]

Ps head tilts back in despair.

[C]

Yentl.

[F]

That's right, P. Yentl. Girls win. No homework next week for you, yes?

[B]

The girls erupt in joy. Kev gazes at Bex. She winks playfully at him. Kev drops his head. He glares at P as does dizzy, 13, happy. Half Vietnamese, half dorky, half cool bowl. Cut. The other boys sigh in frustration or mutter disapproval.

[E]

Way to go, Kev.

[B]

P looks guiltily at the visibly angry Kev.

[C]

Mr. Welch, one more question.

[F]

Sorry, P. Game's over.

[C]

They got one.

[B]

Bex raises her eyebrow at P. Mr. Welch ignores him.

[F]

Enjoy the three day weekend. Hope to see you all at the game. And of course, at the dance. Hey, let's crush St. John's this year. We're due.

[C]

Come on, Mr. Welch. Be a mensch.

[F]

You know, I also heard rumors of a surprise at halftime. Just saying.

[B]

Mr. Welch winks.

[C]

Is it? Cause Becks is a girl?

[B]

The class goes silent. Bex glares at P. His face makes plain he knows that it was the wrong thing to say. The bell rings. No one moves.

[F]

You're team captain, P. You could have taken the question. But you gave it to Kev. It's a question you should have and would have gotten. Just like I gave Bex a question she should have gotten and she did. That was me being a mensch. Now it's your turn, Becks. Girls, don't let pee spoil your victory.

[B]

Who? The class howls in laughter. Interior Pond Hill HALLWAY Couple minutes later, P walks toward Kev, who shoves books into his locker. Homecoming dance posters on the walls along with homecoming decorations and team signs. A classmate, Zack, walks by, as does James.

[E]

Kev, leave movies to P, bro.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Follow P's lead next time.

[B]

P arrives at Kev's locker.

[C]

Dude, I'm so sorry.

[D]

Thank God Carla doesn't go here. I'd die if she'd seen that.

[B]

Martha and Janet pass as well to P. Go crawl back in your hall, you chauvinist pig. Mind your own holes, Fibonacci, Scowling, Dizzy, joins Kevin P as Martha and Janet leave.

[C]

You sound like a St. John's creep.

[B]

Good luck finding a date to the.

[C]

Dance, P. At least the girls hate me and not you.

[D]

Be at the game tomorrow, big dog.

[B]

Britt, 14, handsome quarterback energy at his locker with Tiffany 14, thickly athletic, solid and a couple others. Britt throws P a football. It's wide, but P gracefully leaps and catches it decisively in one hand. Fuck. St. John's P spirals the ball back to Britt, who smiles. My man Kev shoves a book into his locker with a clang. Ps eyes signal to Britt. He nods towards Kev.

[D]

It'll cut your way next time, Ken.

[B]

Britt nods at P then turns back. Kev mutters to P, Sure, Ken will.

[D]

Kill it next time.

[B]

Girls laugh. P looks backs with friends. He pulls his purple beanie down. Hides behind the locker door as she passes.

[C]

Yeah, but I gotta work tomorrow.

[B]

Safe. Pulls his head out. Bex jubilant, walks by a parade of Homecoming dance signs on the wall.

[D]

The fuck fag.

[E]

You know every useless fact about every stupid movie. Exactly like whatever it was, there was a DeLorean outside.

[B]

Dizzy's face instantly shifts. Kev is speechless.

[E]

How fast was it going? Was it cool?

[C]

Yes, super cool.

[D]

You made me lose to Becks of all people, over Delorean of all people.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Ps eyes close. He turns. Beck stands a Homecoming dance sign to her right, worried deep down that me and P are still best friends. Behind your back. P reddens. He glances at the dance sign. Small crowd gathers.

[C]

No need to keep us separated, Kev. Yard's free. Come out and play, Vex.

[B]

Is it cause I'm a girl? P crowd ooze. Pea and Bex meet eyes. He breaks first. Bex walks away victorious.

[E]

Yeah, you're lucky you're a girl.

[B]

Bex flips her middle finger without turning.

[C]

I am lucky I'm a girl.

[B]

Ditzy Pea watches Bex pass another Homecoming dance sign, every step taking farther and farther away from it. He shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers. Heifer. Kev glances at Dizzy.

[C]

See?

[B]

Slams his locker shut. The sound blends into a loud, distorted power chord from P's guitar. In Dizzy's garage after school, P guitar, Kev bass and Dizzy drums practice for their metal band, Shadow King. Cool blend of thrash and groove.

[D]

1, 2, 3, 4 Embassy of Faces Master at the back Void of emptiness surrounds me Catacomb of flower.

[B]

P harmonizes for the chorus from Sunlight.

[D]

In a game I cannot win Drown in ocean for all I'm worth I'm nothing left within See the surface from below but still I hold my form.

[B]

He screams. Oh, I am unbroken. Dizzy's snare Crack. Crack cracks as the band kicks back in. The new part's more technical, heavier and less accessible hey, hey.

[D]

I'm not feeling it.

[B]

The band stops.

[D]

Check this.

[B]

Kev plays a deeply simple bass groove. P's not impressed, but tries to find a way in. He plays a complex thrashy riff.

[D]

Hey, nah. Too much.

[B]

Kev restarts. Pete plays a less complex death metal riff.

[D]

Three, four. No, no. Mirror me.

[B]

He sighs, but mirrors Kev's groove. Close enough.

[D]

Yeah, that's what people want. You hear that band Korn yet? They rock.

[C]

What about Pantera? Carcass Machine Head? Dream Theater?

[D]

Even you can't play Dream Theater. Divine Intervention came out last month. Know how many times I've heard it on the radio? I haven't. And that's Slayer. They buried fucking Slayer. Know how many times I've heard Blind by Korn yesterday?

[C]

Fuck radio. Shadow King needs to make epic shit that changes people's lives. Dizzy, you don't want to sell out.

[E]

But I'd like to sell. I'm with Kev.

[B]

P looks guiltily at Kev, who smirks. P concedes. He plays the simple riff. Kev joins on bass. Dizzy plays a very simple beat. Ps eyes focus on his cable jack. The metal sleeve distorts P's reflection. The tubular jack resembles the Bontet Dizzy's mom, Mrs. D, makes in Dizzy's kitchen. Short time later, Mrs. D puts the bontet in a Tupperware with a few others. The wrapped Tide green banana leaves are uniform. She spreads a banana leaf on the counter, adds rice. Large containers of food nearby. Homemade Mac and cheese, Spanish rice, grilled chicken, drumsticks, salad. P and Kev walk to the CD player.

[C]

Costumes, like makeup and stuff.

[D]

We need an image.

[C]

Cool if we play some tunes, Mrs. D?

[H]

Okay, but no.

[E]

Grrr.

[B]

Mrs. D imitates death metal growls. P laughs. Kev hands him a corn CD while eye fucking the bontet Research.

[D]

Are those the things we had for Lunar New Year, Mrs. D?

[B]

Mrs. D nods.

[C]

Pantet image isn't music, man. I don't want to be kiss. Which track?

[D]

7. Kiss. Problem is, they took the makeup off. If they hadn't, no one would have known what they really looked like. Problem solved.

[C]

Kiss problem is that they suck bagpipes.

[B]

Play. Dizzy enters. Mrs. D adds Mung beans.

[E]

What's this gay shit, Philip? My bad, fellas. What's this gay crap?

[B]

Thank you. P hands dizzy the CD case. Kev stares as Mrs. D lays pork belly onto the beans. Dizzy's eyes almost leave his head, looking at the CD case.

[F]

Whoa.

[E]

There's a track called Faggot. Play that next.

[D]

Every band does t shirts and jeans. Now no one has a look.

[H]

I like this. Bagpipes better than Peace.

[E]

Music, Mayhem and some of the black metal bands wear corpse paint.

[D]

See, not makeup. Corpse paint. It conjures something. Image is a huge part of music. It says stuff.

[C]

I want the music to say stuff.

[B]

Dizzy eyes a Tupperware of spring rolls. Only green vegetables are visible through the translucent wrapper.

[E]

No shrimp in the middle.

[C]

Protects better.

[H]

Easier for Uncle Chris to bite.

[E]

Better when they're on top of the other stuff. Taste them first.

[B]

Mrs. D wraps and ties the bontet.

[D]

A band shouldn't look like Chess Club.

[C]

And a band's music shouldn't sound like checkers.

[B]

Mrs. D assembles a new bontet. Dizzy reaches toward the mound of them in the Tupperware. Mrs. D slaps his hand away.

[H]

Hey, these are for Uncle Chris. All the other food is for you.

[E]

Why does he need bontet in October?

[H]

He doesn't have much time.

[E]

Maybe when I'm dying I'll fucking get one then.

[B]

Mrs. D stops. Silence. Dizzy's demeanor shifts. P and Kev know the drill. P quietly grabs three sodas from the fridge. Kev discreetly retrieves his cd. They exit to Dizzy's room. Moments later. P shuts the door lightly. Multiple DeLorean and metal band posters on the walls by the bunk bed. Japanese Sega Genesis Big 90s computer tower. 32 inch CRT TV closed strewn Super Soakers waiting for summer. P gives Kev a Coke. Classic opens a Dr. Pepper. The sprite remains for Dizzy. Kev grabs it instead.

[C]

She's going to whoop his ass.

[B]

Kev takes the Pontil yearbook off the desk.

[F]

Meh.

[D]

Moms are supposed to love you. Imagine if his dad was here.

[B]

Kev flips idly through the yearbook. He stops abruptly, eyes burning at the page.

[D]

I bet she thinks I'm so stupid.

[B]

Mrs. D. Kev holds up the yearbook, jabs it toward P. A large candid photo of Bex smiling, a butterfly resting on her open palm.

[D]

Bex Man, Bex. I don't want your old best friend to think your new best friend is a dumbass loser.

[C]

Do you really care what she thinks?

[D]

Do you?

[B]

P hesitates. He looks down. Kev smiles ruefully at the silent confirmation, tosses the yearbook on the bed.

[C]

I bet she's jealous.

[B]

Kev smiles. He pops open the Sprite, sips quietly. P stares at the yearbook as if he can still see her. Interior, Dizzy's room evening later. Dizzy enters with a Dr. Pepper, Coke and Sprite.

[E]

Put your dicks away fast.

[C]

Yep.

[E]

Obscure your Penises.

[B]

He nods at his mom's tacit approval, shuts the door. Kev grabs the Sprite from Dizzy's hand and opens it.

[E]

I hate Coke. We get it for you.

[B]

Kev takes a long swig. Dizzy snatches the remote, jabs it. The movie unpauses Ace Ventura on the tv. Pacing his bathroom, Ace realizes that the female detective Einhorn is actually the Miami Dolphins kicker he's been trying to locate. In revelatory joy, he exclaims that Einhorn's a man. Which he repeats immediately in revulsion as the the horror of their kiss dawns on him.

[C]

I love this part.

[B]

Disgusted, Ace plungers his face, vomits excessively and acts out other phobic hijinks while the crying game plays. P Kev and Dizzy laugh so hard they cry. Interior, Dizzy's room. Later, a knock on the door. Mrs. D enters. On TV. Einhorn, visibly shell shocked, stands motionless as Ace rips off her skirt. Looks normal. Then Ace solves the mystery. He spins Einhorn around her tucked penis outlined in panties. He exclaims. That's why Roger Podaktor's dead. He found Captain Winky. The crying game plays the entire police force dry heaves. The boys laugh hysterically.

[H]

Did she go to the bathroom in her underwear?

[B]

The boys laugh even harder.

[C]

No, Mrs. D. She used to be a man.

[E]

Still is a man.

[C]

So that's her penis.

[H]

What's it doing in her butt?

[B]

Kev, purple faced, falls over laughing. Dizzy turns red. Mrs. D waves her hand at Dizzy. He pauses the movie, staring longingly at the Sprite as Kev drinks.

[H]

Going to Uncle's back tomorrow.

[B]

The boys try to hide their excitement.

[H]

When do you boys want to go to the dance?

[B]

Saturday.

[H]

Philip's been talking about it for weeks.

[B]

P and Kev eye Dizzy, who flushes.

[E]

Don't y' all kinda wanna go?

[D]

Yeah, Us standing around while they play poser. Crap like the sign and all that she wants. Sounds great.

[E]

We'll hang. Laugh at the posers.

[C]

It could be fun, dude.

[D]

Or we can hang here. More fun.

[H]

Okay, you all decide.

[B]

Mrs. D closes the door, pokes her head back inside. Women. Men.

[H]

Penises are always in the front.

[B]

Pete bites his lip. Kev slaps a hand over his mouth. His face turns more purple. His body heaves as he stifles a laugh. The boys stare at each other. The front door finally closes. They erupt in laughter. P pounds the bed. The impact blends into the sound of Kev's feet running toward the bathroom in Dizzy's house. Night short time later, Kev beelines towards the bathroom. Right as Kev gets to the door, Dizzy sprints past, locks it. Kev bangs on the door.

[D]

Dude, I only have one pair of underwear.

[C]

He brought one pair of underwear for a three night sleepover.

[E]

Yellow waterfalls, yellow waterfalls, yellow waterfalls. Rushing streams of pee. Urine, urine, urine.

[C]

Use his parents bathroom.

[B]

Kev looks at the closed door of the far bathroom. He bangs on the door in front of him again.

[E]

Amazing how much piss I have left. It might never end.

[C]

I'll say it was my idea.

[D]

You got a death wish, dude?

[B]

Kev runs into Dizzy's parents bathroom. INTERIOR dizzy's kitchen. Moments later the fridge door opens. P grabs at Dr. Pepper. He leans against the fridge, stares at the back wall. It's only a door and glass panes. Effectively a big window. The patio is unlit, but the small pool faintly glows. The kitchen light transforms the glass into a semi transparent mirror. Both inside and outside visible. Pete stares at his lackluster reflection. He mutters to himself as if Bex.

[C]

Would go to the dance with you anyway.

[B]

He raises his sleeve, flexes. No definition. Other arm.

[E]

You look like Arnold's gay pool boy.

[B]

Pete pulls his sleeve down, shirt taut. Dizzy enters, smiling.

[E]

Where's Kev?

[C]

The other bathroom.

[B]

Dizzy's lips curl.

[E]

Both you fuckers know to stay out? My bathroom's for guests.

[B]

Public.

[E]

The other is private. Off limits.

[C]

Ooh, are there dark secrets in there? He was gonna piss his pants.

[E]

He pee dance full on Vogued.

[B]

Dizzy laughs, looks out the large back window.

[E]

Give me any coke.

[G]

But.

[E]

Coke. Imagine how freaky it would be if some dude appeared outside right now.

[B]

P tosses a Sprite. He examines his reflection in the glass.

[C]

Yeah, like 44. Tough man's man. Used to play football.

[B]

A faint image appears outside the glass.

[C]

Intensifying long hair, but it's thinning. Not sure if he'll ever go fully bald, but you can see the skin through the hair.

[B]

Pathetic.

[C]

Clean shaven, but his face has that gray beard. Shit, it's ugly. God, he's ugly.

[B]

As if in slow motion, the man shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers. It's rough, staccato compared to pee. The image briefly overlays P's reflection as it slowly shifts back to the inside part of the glass, then disappears. P adjusts his purple beanie, then eyes his Dr. Pepper.

[C]

Your mom ever buy diet?

[B]

Dizzy crunches his empty can against the counter. He opens an outstretched hand to pee.

[E]

I meant like some deranged homo pervert who'd break in and butt fuck you.

[B]

And Kev P hands Dizzy a fresh Sprite.

[C]

Well, I'd make sure you got butt.

[B]

Fucked first and last penis pea and Dizzy scream. Dizzy's unopened Sprite falls, exploding against the floor. Kev saunters in, loose and relaxed, a fountain of Sprite spraying next to him. Kev licks a little off his hand.

[D]

So who's getting butt fucked?

[B]

Exterior driveway. Short time later, the basketball bounces against the concrete. The boys play tips on the adjustable full size hoop. P dribbles only. P wears a shirt. Kevin Dizzy's tees lie in a pile. Peace. Flannel is tied around his waist. Purple beanie a bit sweaty.

[D]

I'd still fuck her.

[B]

Gross, dude.

[D]

Einhorn doesn't have some bitch tied up in a well. She's hot.

[E]

Her cock wouldn't bother you.

[D]

I said I'd fuck her, not marry her. Can you imagine dating a perv like that? I want a freak in bed, not a freak when we're at the store.

[C]

I'd rather kill myself.

[D]

Who cares? If no one knows you're gonna be.

[E]

Gay, you should be a fucking man about it.

[C]

I'd kill myself. And then I'd have the most epic funeral mix CD From Whom the Bell.

[E]

Tolls played out Marsh Funembra.

[C]

Sick track, but not as sick as my handle.

[B]

P drives left, sidesteps Kev, then twists past Dizzy. The ball kisses the backboard, bounces off the rim. It misses. Kev leaps forward. Airborne. He tips the falling ball up toward the basket. Bounce, bounce, bounce. It drops in.

[D]

Back to 11, bro. No.1 rock at a funeral Cemetery gates Yes.

[C]

Pantera's my shit.

[B]

Pantera's I'm Broken shatters the night. The boys turn their collective head in unison. A DeLorean, sleek and silver, turns onto the street. The windows are down. The engine rumbles. A woman, 42, drives. The muscular guitar's defiant bluesy metal groove provides the perfect foundation as the singer screams the song. Scream CHORUS I'm broken. Inherit my life.

[D]

God damn.

[B]

Wait. P sprints towards the car. He's at the end of the driveway. The car isn't going to stop. Dude, you're gonna get killed. P launches forward in front of the car, purple beanie flying. Holy, holy, holy. It's not stopping. It's not stop scree. The brake squeal. The car stops. Just enough to be safe, but definitely enough to be dangerous.

[D]

Good thing we settled the funeral mixtape.

[B]

The purple beanie's on the street. P tugs his shirt taut, his ponytail briefly visible. P and the woman at A standstill she's sitting back, bathed largely in shadow. Slivers of light illuminate her half smile.

[C]

I'm P. That's Dizzy and Kev. I've. We've never been this close to a DeLorean.

[B]

Dizzy ambles slowly, entranced.

[E]

Can I touch it? DeLorean lady.

[I]

Ms. World. Go ahead.

[B]

Ms. World leans forward. Dark hair a similar color to P's flannel midriff tank, yellow scarf around her neck. Dizzy runs his hands over the car.

[C]

As if it's magic flux capacitor hiding in there.

[B]

Ms. World chuckles.

[I]

Sure is. But who knows if it works?

[C]

Take us for a ride and find out.

[I]

Nice try, but it's a bit weird for an adult to take three teens she just met out for a ride. Plus it's a school night.

[B]

Three day weekend.

[I]

You do synchronized swim too?

[C]

We're in a band.

[I]

Got a tape?

[C]

It might be a little heavy for a girl.

[B]

The DeLorean rumbles to life. Ms. World puts it in gear. P steps forward, touching his knees to the bumper.

[C]

Sorry I say stupid things sometimes.

[D]

Don't ask him about Byron Streisand movies.

[B]

Ms. World laughs.

[C]

We don't have a tape. Our stuff's a thrash groove death metal hybrid, but both Sweden and Florida. Death metal, if that means anything.

[D]

And some corn.

[I]

So Megadeth, Slayer, maybe Arise Era, Sepultura, I'm assuming Pre Black Metallica mixed with Pantera and Machine Head. And for death metal, what? Early Entombed and Obituary, though maybe Morbid Angel. Oh, and some corn.

[B]

P. Kev and Dizzy stare at her, mouths agape.

[I]

Girls aren't always what you'd think.

[B]

The DeLorean reverses. P's chances are fading. He takes a deep breath. He sings. Kev cringes at the totally embarrassing earnestness.

[C]

Memory of summer has long passed. Crawling through the mud and silt the rain never washes me clean. Encrusted in clay the seed can still flower but the sun has forgotten my name.

[B]

The DeLorean stops. A dog howls.

[I]

What's that?

[C]

Lyrics I've been writing?

[B]

Ms. World assesses P. He puts the purple beanie on his head.

[I]

Not bad. Might have earned a ride. We'll see your parents around.

[C]

No.

[B]

Kev smacks Dizzy's arm.

[E]

That was stupid.

[I]

Will they be here Saturday night?

[E]

We'll be at the dance.

[D]

No, we won't.

[B]

Ms. World looks at P. P surveys his friends.

[C]

We might be.

[B]

Kev glares at P. Dizzy looks at Kev.

[D]

My girlfriend Carla's not in town.

[I]

You could go as a group.

[D]

Thank you going without a date?

[E]

Sucks.

[I]

Anyone you two like?

[B]

Dizzy shakes his head. He turns, walks around the car in awe. Kev goes to the basketball hoop.

[I]

Miss World eyes P. Delorian turns into a pumpkin.

[B]

Soon P glances guiltily at Kev. He shakes his arm, extending and curling his fingers. Miss World smiles playfully, looks P square in the eye.

[I]

My biggest regret is the amount of regrets I have. Careful, Dizzy. Couldn't see you.

[B]

P. Nods, taking in her words. As Dizzy steps back from the car, Miss World smiles coyly at P. You coming back? P and Dizzy watch her shrinking taillights fade into the night. End Act 1.