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Alexandra Savior (2:56)

Music Saved Me for me like writing songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like when you get that like last piece, things click, everything makes sense and you're like, I, I, I game. I, I finished, you know, I don't know. Feels like exhilarating.

Lynn Hoffman (3:13)

Welcome to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explore the transformative power of music through the stories of artists who have found solace, strength and inspiration in their craft. I'm your host, Lynn Hoffman and today we are joined by Alexandra Savior, the Portland born singer songwriter whose haunting atmospheric sound has captivated listeners since her breakout as a teenager. She is literally referred to as a once in a lifetime artist. She was discovered at the age of 17 by one Courtney Love after posting a cover song online. And Alexander quickly found herself navigating the highs and the lows of the music industry, from major label deals to reclaiming her creative independence. Yay. She's known for her evocative songwriting and cinematic style and has weathered personal and professional storms, channeling all of her experiences into acclaimed albums like Belladonna of Sadness and the Archer. Now with her latest release, Beneath the Lily Pad, she continues to evolve, offering listeners a deeper glimpse into her world and the healing force of music. In this episode, Alexandra opens up about how music has been both a refuge and a form of self discovery. The challenges of staying authentic in an industry that often demands conformity and the stories behind her newest work. So please join me now as we talk talk about resilience, creativity, and the songs that save us again and again. Alexandra Savior, welcome to Music Saved Me. It's so great to have you here with us today.

Alexandra Savior (4:49)

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Lynn Hoffman (4:51)

So we're going to start with a hard question up front just to get it out of the way. And I think it's what a lot of people want to know is can you share a moment in your life when music truly saved you or maybe provided a sense of solace during a particularly difficult time?

Alexandra Savior (5:08)

Yeah, I think that that's, I think, I mean, I've had so many points in my life where music has saved me. I think probably the main one, which is also kind of connected to this, the making of this album was that I was hospitalized for mental illness psychosis and I think getting out when I was out of the hospital, it really helped me, like writing songs really helped me learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and how, you know, just what that experience was like because it's so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it. And so I think that that was like. Like a kind of a literal way of music saving me, you know? Yeah.

Matt Rogers or Bowen Yang (6:01)

And.

Lynn Hoffman (6:01)

Well, especially the title underneath the lily Pad. I mean, just the way you described how you would look at life from a totally different perspective. There's the top side and then there's the down deep side.

Alexandra Savior (6:14)

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I think, like, writing music for me, it's like a form of like my kind of unconscious self coming to the surface as well. And it. Sometimes it'll be like years later after I write a song, and I'll be like, oh, that's what that was about. I didn't even know I had the self awareness at that time to write about the fact that I was going through this or feeling this or experiencing, you know, something in life.

Lynn Hoffman (6:49)

That's so amazing too, that being able to look back and seeing those things. Most people, regardless of your struggles, just so you know, the longer you live, the more you look back on things and you realize some meanings that you didn't even know were happening at that time. It's. It's so true. And it's probably another reason why your work resonates with so many millions of people all around the world. How has your relationship with music evolved from the early songwriting to now, you know, in terms of maybe an emotional outlet? Sort of like you just sort of hinted at. Oh, you know what?

Alexandra Savior (7:23)

I think emotionally, I don't think it's changed very much. I think, like, it's. It's always been for me very much about, like, evoking emotion or, you know, connecting to. To my feelings, I think, because I have, like too many feelings, so. And I always have my whole life. So I think even when I was like, starting out when I was like 16, that that was still very much there. I don't think that's. I don't think it's really changed much, to be honest. I've. Maybe I've gotten better at songwriting. I was like. I wouldn't say I was like a prodigy in any way. It took me a while to figure it out. But I think the emotional elements always kind of the same.

Lynn Hoffman (8:15)

Well, are there any particular songs or artists that you know, either albums that you own or others that you turn to when. When you need solace or comfort?

Alexandra Savior (8:26)

Yeah, there's an album by Sybil Bayer, which I feel like I always pronounce her Name wrong. But it's either Sybil Baer or Sybil Byer. I think it's called I Lost Something in the Hills. And it's. I listened to that again and again. I go back to that one a lot. And I go back to a lot of Nina Simone and Billie Holiday and stuff like that.

Lynn Hoffman (9:00)

Stuff that maybe you grew up listening to.

Alexandra Savior (9:03)

Yeah, things that I kind of, like, discovered when I was young and, like, really cracked my head open.

Lynn Hoffman (9:08)

I think I read about your parents liking the rock and roll. So that had a little something to do with it.

Alexandra Savior (9:16)

Yeah, they were. Yeah, they were big. Yeah. My whole family. That was kind of the. The deal growing up.

Lynn Hoffman (9:24)

I love it. A musical family. You've talked openly about the importance of honesty in your songwriting and some of the things that I've read. How does. How does being authentic in your music help you process sort of your own experiences? And what do you hope listeners of your music take away from that honesty?

Alexandra Savior (9:47)

It's funny because I feel like I make it a challenge when I actually feel. Yeah, I make a challenge for myself when I'm writing songs or the topic of the song. The subject to be, like, hidden. And I think I learned that when I was making my first record was just, like, how to hide and leave little, like, Easter eggs around within, like, the lyrics. Lyrics of the. Of the song. So it's interesting because I don't know if I'm very. If I'm actually that honest. Sorry, I don't mean to contradict everything, but. No, I don't think I'm that honest.

Lynn Hoffman (10:35)

No, I get it.

Alexandra Savior (10:36)

I'm honest in life, but maybe not as much in my songwriting. Or maybe I just think I'm, like, doing a really good job hiding what's going on, but everybody knows I think I'm being sneaky.

Lynn Hoffman (10:48)

Well, no, you say that, though. I'm unforgivable. Let's just use this as an example. You know when you listen to the words, and what's lovely nowadays is when you're watching someone's video on online, the weird words come up so you actually know what's being sung, which they didn't always do. And I was reading along as I was listening, and I kept thinking, wow, this is incredible, because it literally could fit for anyone listening with whatever they're going through. It could mean something completely different. And I don't really know what this means for her, but actually, it's okay. If it means different things to different people, would that be true?

Alexandra Savior (11:34)

Yeah, I mean, that's why it's like, I'm sometimes hesitant to give too much information about what a song is on a personal level because I really want people to connect with it within their own experiences and feel like it's for them and feel like it's about what. What they're going through in their lives. But I think also, yeah, I think the reason why, like, with Unforgivable, why it's hard to tell what it's about. I think it's just, like, I was, like, kind of conditioned throughout all these experiences that I've had as a woman to keep them a secret. And I don't know if I'm quite, like, powerful enough to be blatant about what the song is about yet. And so, yeah, I was intentionally secretive, hopefully.

Lynn Hoffman (12:32)

Well, it's tough stuff. It's empowering. It's an uplifting song. But it's a very serious subject matter that you're discussing, so it would make sense that you wouldn't want to divulge that information. But still, it totally resonated in my life, whether it was similar or not. You are really sharing about yourself. And you are. But you're doing it the perfect way. You mentioned vulnerability that comes with releasing new work. How do you navigate that, being so vulnerable, especially as your sound and your perspective sort of has matured through the last few years?

Alexandra Savior (13:13)

Oh, I don't know. It's. I think the vulnerability. I mean, this album in particular is probably the most vulnerable that I have been within my writing. And I think that the way that I've navigated that is that I waited five years to release it until I really was, like. I didn't feel ready to share any of this up until very recently. And so I think it's just, like, being kind to yourself and allowing time to kind of heal and, like, strengthen your, you know, your wounds and, like, not forcing it. Yeah, I think not forcing anything is. Is really important and hard as well.

Lynn Hoffman (14:16)

Yeah. Well, you held onto that gem for five years. That's hard. But even harder, I will say, is releasing it and then everything, the judgment, the. All of that's there. Did you. Were you hesitant even that, like, on the eve of releasing that you were nervous about it or.

Alexandra Savior (14:35)

It's really weird because I really. It really hasn't hit me that it's like, in the world. I think it's. It feels very. It feels like. Like the album came out and, like, I hung out with my girlfriends, we went bowling, and then. And then that was kind of it. And like, I. It's just it's strange because I'm like. I can see it on a computer that it's like, on a. On Spotify or on, like, available. But I can't really, like, because I haven't played any shows yet. I haven't really gotten to, like, see how it's affecting people yet. You know, I think it'll be more real.

Lynn Hoffman (15:17)

You're in your bedroom, you become famous, releasing a song from your bedroom, and then you don't even really have a lot of radio stations that you can just turn on. Hey, that's me. You're just looking at downloads happening on the Internet. That's got to be strange.

Alexandra Savior (15:31)

I pretty much have no idea what's going on with it.

Lynn Hoffman (15:36)

It's probably better that way.

Alexandra Savior (15:37)

Yeah.

Lynn Hoffman (15:37)

You just focus on doing the things that make you feel good, and it's probably better that way.

Alexandra Savior (15:42)

Yeah.

Lynn Hoffman (15:43)

You know, early on in your career, I read that you faced a lot of pressure, you know, to fit a certain mold. I don't know if you ever heard, like, you know, Johnny Bravo from the. An Old Brady Bunch reference, but, you know, he fit the suit. So, you know, how. How is music and has music empowered you to sort of define yourself on your own terms?

Alexandra Savior (16:08)

It's interesting because I think, like, early on, I made the mistake of thinking that everybody else saw me the way that I see myself. And I made the mistake of thinking that people could see kind of all of these things that I wanted to create or hear them without them existing, like, outside of my brain. And I think it. It. And then, you know, having. Having kind of this pressure to. It made me feel like whatever I was wasn't enough. And I'm now totally forgetting the question.

Lynn Hoffman (16:53)

Oh, just, you know, pressure to fit that moment and being empowered by music. That's. I go there, too. Too many thoughts. Too many thoughts.

Alexandra Savior (17:03)

I. I guess it's just, like, I didn't understand why I had to fit into another mold, because I thought, well, I've already got one. You know, I already am this. But, you know, I think having the courage to, like, create, create as much as you can until you finally get it right is really what I needed. I needed time. And I think that you can't, like, pressure someone into figuring out who they are. You know, everybody has to figure it out on their own ways.

Lynn Hoffman (17:39)

Yeah, we're all definitely on our own schedules, for sure. We'll be right back with more of the Music Saved Me podcast. And by the way, if you like this podcast, you are going to love our companion podcast podcast called taking a walk. It's hosted by my dear friend Buzz Knight and you can find it wherever you get your podcasts.

Alexandra Savior (17:59)

Ah, come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient.

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Alexandra Savior (20:44)

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How can 101-year-old woman fall in love again?

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And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old.

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And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. And he got down.

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And I remember feeling kind of a surge of like, okay, this is power.

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Listen to heavyweight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Lynn Hoffman (21:59)

Welcome back to the Music Saved Me podcast. The podcast where we discuss the healing powers of music with some of the biggest names in music as well as up and comers. You know, I reading about you in treatment versus out of treatment and the fact that you're willing to open up and talk about things that don't necessarily feel comfortable. Yeah. And not just, you know, in your music, but who you are and, and your story. Really. And, and I think it's, it's really amazing because so many people don't know and then here you come and you just put it out there. Do you realize the impact that you have on others? Mental health?

Alexandra Savior (22:45)

No. I mean, it's pretty heavy, Right. I have a lot of friends. I mean, I live in Los Angeles, so I have a lot of friends who are crazy. That kind of goes with this territory. So, I mean, I can, I can see how me having experienced that has helped, like my, my, my friends that are, that go through stuff. But yeah, I don't know, I feel like I don't really have an understanding of, like, outside of my personal circle, like, how people or, like, how many people even listen to my music, let alone, like, how they're affected by. It doesn't. Or by my, like, being open about it. I don't know. I have no idea.

Lynn Hoffman (23:31)

Well, I suspect that you're gonna soon find out when you start performing out to large crowds, that that's a whole new experience for you, that you're. Wow. I can't even wait. I gotta talk to you after your major tours because I can't wait to hear about that. What advice? Part of the reason why I asked that question was I'd love to know some advice that you would give to young artists who are maybe struggling to maintain their individuality, you know, in an industry that really does sometimes push conformity.

Alexandra Savior (24:04)

Oh. I mean, I think it's. I have, like, a very strong belief that no matter how much you tried to, you know, say you're like, I want to write a Tame Impala song. And you go and you look at the chord structures within the Tame Impala songs, and you get all the same, like, gear, and you use the same mics and everything, and you write a Tam Impala song like, it's never going to be anything but yours. You know, you're always there. Like, you're always there at the center of it. And what you are making, no matter how much you try to make it like someone else, it's just. It's always going to be you. And so I think being influenced by other musicians is a. Is great. And keep me. Always keep that there. But I think don't push too much against your instinct.

Lynn Hoffman (25:01)

That's probably the best advice I think I've ever heard anyone give. And I've talked to the biggest names in show business. 100 million albums. What you said is the number one thing. Instinct. Don't go against it. It will always steer you in the right direction. Right.

Alexandra Savior (25:22)

Yeah, I agree. I really feel that way. It's hard to do.

Lynn Hoffman (25:26)

My mom used to. It is hard to do. My mom told me that. And I always wondered, like, how am I supposed to. How do I do that? How do I know? But you learn to listen. And hindsight's always 20 20.

Alexandra Savior (25:38)

Yeah.

Lynn Hoffman (25:38)

So true. Thankfully. All right, let's talk about the mothership. This is so cool. Your recent single and the upcoming work sort of show this, like, new direction than when you first started. What sort of. It's a little bit of a shift in sound, which is Incredible, by the way. It's like nothing I've ever heard before. And it's absolutely. It's beautiful. It's incredible. To me, it's, like, epic to the point where it belongs. It's storytelling. Just the music alone, not let alone the lyrics. It's. It's fantastic. So I wondered what inspired the shift in sound and the way you tell stories.

Alexandra Savior (26:20)

Well, so the Mothership is, like, one of the last songs that was added on to the. To that album. And for most of this album, I think that I was really steering away from kind of my earlier music and, like, wanting to have a more dreamlike, sort of folky, like, jazz, mystical thing that I was trying to attach to. And I think the Mothership was a song that it kind of combined, like, my old world and my new world. And I wrote it really quickly. Like, it took me, I think, like, 20 minutes to write, and it was just, like. It felt really natural. I don't know. I didn't really think too much about it, to be honest. And it just kind of happened. And it was. Yeah, it was one of the last songs added to the album, which is funny. It's the first song, I think, for one of the first lines, it's.

Lynn Hoffman (27:20)

It's beautiful. It's. And it. For me, not saying that it was for you, but for me it was about letting go of the old and protect. It could be relationships. Doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, personal relationships, but it was. It was really cool. How did the experience of writing and recording during the Pandemic influence your creative process? That was quite a time we went through. And your latest music would reflect some of that time where you were, were in the process of writing.

Alexandra Savior (27:54)

Yeah, it was. It was eerie to be recording with, like, session musicians and, like, my friends, you know, at that time, everybody wearing masks and having to sit far away from each other. And it was hard. I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it again.

Lynn Hoffman (28:13)

I hope none of us have to. Did it. Did it have any. Any impact on what you wrote?

Alexandra Savior (28:22)

Yeah, definitely. I think that I was less aware of, like, the idea of an audience listening or the idea of, like, playing live on stage with a band when I was writing. So I think that, like, the energy levels are, like, kind of similar to, like, where we were all at, which was just like, being alone in our houses and not having, like, that, like, static energy of, like, going to shows every night, like I did with my second album. So, yeah, I think I just made it, like a different space, a Different energy, space. Sounds really like woo woo when I say it out loud. Woo woo.

Lynn Hoffman (29:12)

I have a friend I call the woo Woo girl. All right. Which song from your latest project feels the most personal. Personal to you?

Alexandra Savior (29:21)

I guess. You know, I really like, I feel very connected to Hark. And there's also a song called the Harvest is thoughtless. And those are very personal for me.

Lynn Hoffman (29:34)

What is it that you think it is about music that makes it such a powerful force, you know, for healing and connection, not just for the artist, but also for the listeners? You know, is it the writing? Is it the, you know, the, the actual physical sound it creates? Is it the artist? What do you think all of that is and why, why it's so powerful?

Alexandra Savior (30:01)

I don't know. I think music is just such a unique force. I think it's the most indescribable experience that we have as humans. Like, I, I mean, it's like, it's like a vapor, essentially, of, like, emotion, which is crazy. And I think, I mean, I think a lot of it lies within, like, the performance aspect. I think, like, a good performance is, like, really what brings that feeling. It's really hard. I think it's really hard to try and understand what it is that, like is so powerful and what affects us. I have no idea. I have no keto.

Lynn Hoffman (30:42)

Right. Like, what produces that euphoria or those endorphins or that excitement? And, you know, obviously, when you're, when you're making songs, do you get that feeling when you hear it? Is that how, you know, oh, this is good. You know, when you hear it back to yourself?

Alexandra Savior (31:00)

Yeah. It kind of feels like, for me, like, writing songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like when you get that, like, last piece, things click. Everything makes sense, and you're like, I, I, I won the game. I, I finished. You know, I don't know. It feels like it. Exhilarating.

Lynn Hoffman (31:18)

I'm a song master. I love that. That's really cool. And, and it really is subjective if you think about it. So for you to, to have that reaction and now that you've had some success and a couple hundred million downloads, nothing too shabby on Spotify alone. I mean, that obviously means you've hit on the right note, but I just wondered if you ever thought what exactly it was about it that resonated. Was it?

Alexandra Savior (31:46)

You know, I literally have no idea. I can't even believe it. And it's very confusing.

Lynn Hoffman (31:54)

All right, well, let me unconfuse you and ask you a couple of quick Quick questions before I let you go. Cause I really appreciate your time. I know you're busy. One is, what song or any song by any artist that. I think you may have answered this in the beginning. That never fails to lift your spirits.

Alexandra Savior (32:12)

Oh, wow. What song?

Lynn Hoffman (32:16)

That always makes you feel happy. Like, the minute you put it on, your whole attitude changes.

Alexandra Savior (32:19)

I think Kathy's song by Simon and Garfunkel is my, like, cool shivers and, like, I feel nostalgia. And I just think, yeah, beautiful, beautiful song.

Lynn Hoffman (32:34)

Wow. You're an old soul, especially musically. And the last question is, if you could collaborate with any artist, living or not alive, who would it be? And what kind of song would you want to create together?

Alexandra Savior (32:51)

That's a good question. I think about this a lot. I want to say Leonard Cohen, because I also wish that then he would somehow fall in love with me and he would get married. How sweet.

Lynn Hoffman (33:06)

That's so sweet. I love that. Yeah, Just go right to the top.

Alexandra Savior (33:11)

I guess I would say, I don't know what kind of song it would be, but if it would eventually lead to love, that would be really fun. And then I wouldn't want to. It's. I wouldn't want to collaborate with another singer, so it's really hard because I would never dare. I mean, Leonard's a singer, but I don't know. I guess that's my answer.

Lynn Hoffman (33:33)

You could do harmony, though. Yeah. Well, Alexandra Savior, it has been such a pleasure to have you on the show and to talk to you and to hear your stories, and I'm so excited for your. For your new release. Beneath the Lily Pad is what it's called. And the first single out is the Mothership. Or is it Unforgivable?

Alexandra Savior (33:57)

Unforgivable is the first one. Yeah.

Lynn Hoffman (34:01)

Awesome. Well, you will not be disappointed. And if you get a chance to see her perform live. Whoa. The music is one thing, but then if you're in the room with it happening, it's a whole other level. Level. So hopefully you'll check her out and hopefully you'll come back and visit us again soon.

Alexandra Savior (34:16)

Yeah, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me.

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Various Advertisers/Narrators (34:49)

Does more it's football season and now you can get anything you need for game day delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost. Almost anything. You can't get a running back, but baby back ribs. Yes, Uber Eats official on demand food delivery partner of the NFL, its Cybersecurity Awareness Month. LifeLock is here with tips to help protect your identity. Use strong passwords, set up multi factor authentication, report scams and update your software. And for comprehensive identity protection, Lifelock is your best choice. LifeLock alerts you to suspicious uses of your personal information and fixes identity theft guaranteed or your money back. Start your protection today with a 30 day free trial and lock. LifeLock.com use promo code NEWS terms apply There's a million things to stress about when flying overweight luggage, TSA lines, delays, overpriced airport lunches. Your rental car shouldn't be one of them with Avis. First, your rental comes with a personal concierge who meets you at arrivals, hands you the keys to a premium car and refills it for you at market price when you're done. You've rented before, but trust me when I say you've never rented quite like this. Welcome to Avis first. Visit Avis.com to learn more.

Matt Rogers or Bowen Yang (36:07)

Thursday Night Football is on, and it's only on crime video.

Various Advertisers/Narrators (36:10)

You better look out. You better get ready.

Matt Rogers or Bowen Yang (36:12)

This week it's a rivalry renewed as the Philadelphia Eagles take on the New York Giants. Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with football's best party, TNF Tonight, presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Eagles and the giants Thursday at 7pm Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

Alexandra Savior (36:37)

This is an iHeart podcast.