B (2:42)

Comes up with the names for those things to begin with.

A (2:45)

I think they get stoned and go, how about Zimbalfin? I don't know. Sounds too much like a dolphin. I don't know. How about porpoise?

B (2:55)

You got to wonder. You got to wonder. But they.

A (2:57)

I don't know. I don't know how they come up with these things, but they don't sound very. You know, I started my work in Laughter Heals in a cancer facility. And I don't know if you knew this, what they put in them, like chemo, they call it the Red Death. Now, what kind of a thing is that? Yeah, you just went, ooh. I mean, now you're trying to live right, with this cancer and trying to survive and heal, and you're putting something in you called the Red Death. I mean, why don't they call it Santa Claus or come up with something or bashful something in your body where you feel like, oh, wow, this is a positive energy. It's a positive vibration. And that's what laughter is. It's a positive vibration.

B (3:34)

Well, that's exactly why I'm so excited to have you here, because, you know, like you just said, wouldn't it be great if a commercial came on TV and said, hey, laughter. We figured out a way to put laughter in this patch. Just slap it on your face and you'll laugh all day long.

A (3:48)

You know the laugh patch?

B (3:50)

The laugh patch.

A (3:52)

I've always said they should have. You know, they have a Fitbit. How about a laugh bit? Count your laughs.

B (3:56)

Oh, my God, that's a great idea.

A (3:58)

Wouldn't that be great? And then have. Well, we actually have a business. We're pitching it today. You should come to our pitch meeting. We have Laughter Works. We go to companies and corporations and give wellness a sense of humor. Corporate wellness certainly needs that. Oh, yeah, And I teach something called Guided Lafitation and Chuckle Chatter.

B (4:15)

Wait, Guided laughitation?

A (4:18)

Yes. Instead of meditating. I'm not a great meditator. And I'll bet you're not either. You have ADD just like I do.

B (4:23)

Super, super. Look, a squirrel.

A (4:26)

Right? Exactly. I know you. Even though it's been 20 years, I know you that you're not a great meditator. And I'm not either. Because we had something going on. Yeah, I'll be going. Oh, I forgot to put the wash in the dryer. I mean, whatever it is, it's home. Oh, my God, the kids. So I just. I came up with this laughitation. It's something we all love to do. It's really great for you to laugh. So it's. It's. There's no jokes. You don't need jokes. The whole premise for me is in all my studies. I've been studying this for years. I have the nonprofit called Laughter Heals, and I worked in a cancer facility to develop this program. And I just. Laughter's a choice. It's not like you need a joke. Just like you. You don't know if you're on a StairMaster or on a hill. Your body does not know the difference.

B (5:14)

Right.

A (5:14)

It's getting the benefits of whatever that workout is. You don't have to have something that even. You don't even need a trainer, necessarily. I'm not saying anything against you trainers out there, but working out is working out, and so is. So now you're just doing silly squats or laugh lunges. You know, whatever it is, it's a choice. And then the thing is about comedy. I know yours is called comedy, but comedy's subjective. Some people object to some things that we say a lot these days. Oh, my God. Everybody's complaining. I have a saying. Stop global whining. Let's shut up and stop global whining.

B (5:48)

I love that.

A (5:49)

Oh, my God. I feel like Yoda offended. You are a crap. I do not give. I mean, I'm so sick of being people. Everybody's a victim now. Let's take charge of our lives and start laughing more and stop looking for people to offend you and hurt you, because they're not really hurting you. You're just putting it on them. That's on you. So it's the same thing with. Laughter is comedy is subjective. You remember Patch Adams? Remember that movie?

B (6:15)

Oh, yeah, yeah. With Robin Williams.

A (6:18)

Yeah. Remember? That was a true story. Yes. About Patch Adams. I think he works out of Baltimore. He would go to hospital rooms, dress as a clown to make kids laugh, make people laugh. That's subjective. If a clown shows up in my hospital room, I'm pulling a tune. I'm like, pull the plaza. Somebody put a fucking clown in my room. There's a clown in big shoes in my room. Somebody take this mask off. That's what I would be doing. Because it's not funny to me. As a matter of fact, it's quite sad. This guy's got shoes that are too big and he thinks it's funny. Now there's nothing against him, but that's the moment where I went. That was my haha moment. One of my haha moments where I said, what if we do laugh at where it's a choice. Just like meditating. You breathe.

B (7:04)

Yeah.

A (7:04)

Laughter. Stop breathing. Breathing. So good for you and all of that. And so it's been working. It's awesome. I take people through these guided lapitation retreats and things like that.

B (7:13)

It must be so. I don't know, fulfilling when you know that you're helping someone heal with. With laughter just by being yourself.

A (7:23)

Yeah. You wanted. You want to do a little. A little meditation laughitation right now?

B (7:27)

I do, but. All right, that's. That's a great idea. Let's do it. But I don't have any tissues, and I feel I'm soon going to look like a big mess on. On this, but whatever.

A (7:36)

Oh, you mean you're gonna. You're gonna cry? Is that what you mean?

B (7:39)

Well, I cry when I laugh. Do you remember when you used to make Lander and I laugh so hard? We were both crying and you thought we were crying, but we were.

A (7:44)

Yeah. He was another one. He had big tear dust to both of you.

B (7:48)

I've never met anyone like that. It was. We had to have tissues in the room whenever you showed up.

A (7:54)

Well, we'll do a short one. How's that? So you don't get into full tears, but just is. This is really great for work when we're at work. It relieves stress. Ready? Just take a break. Breath. 3. Everybody do this along with us.

B (8:04)

I was just going to say, can everyone at home do this too?

A (8:07)

Everyone do this. Ready? Take a breath through your nose and let out a ha. Listen to the ha. The sound and the resonance from the ha. It's a very spiritual word. It's cleansing. Allow it to cleanse you. You know, in church, there's hallelujah. It's aloha in Hawaii. Ha is a beautiful word. Anyway, here we go. Breathe in. Doesn't it feel better already? You let out that ha. That's a ha sound. Let's one more breathe into your nose. And a ha. Good. Now we're going to giggle at the end and giggle until the. The. The gas runs out in the car. Ready?

B (8:46)

Okay.

A (8:46)

And do it with me. It's contagious. Here we go. Look at me. Here we go.

B (9:03)

Killing me.

A (9:04)

See, that's a really short version of guided laughitation. And when you're ready, towards the end of the interview, I'm going to take you upper level to chuckle chatter.

B (9:13)

Oh, I love that. You know, it's funny.

A (9:16)

By the way, how are you feeling right now? A little stress. Less stress, right? No pressure.

B (9:20)

I feel less stressed. But to be honest with you, I was so excited to see you again after all these years. I'm a little nervous because I want to make sure that I do everything right by you because, you know, you're, you're my people.

A (9:31)

But laughter does that though. It takes you out of that, out of your. And puts you more into presence awareness. It's mindful to laugh. We rewire, we rewire the brain when we do this. And it's, it's amazing the results that have happened. You're oxygenated, your body healing. Endorphins are released. Stress is being relieved, which is a huge, huge cause of illness. So people don't realize this. That really is the best medicine. Here's the way to deploy it is the laugh at. And we'll get to the chuckle chatter later. But even if you, you are nervous, it takes away the nerves.

B (10:04)

You need to be a professor at a college and teach this as well. But you, what you're saying, they don't.

A (10:09)

Make enough money for me. I got to make a lot of money.

B (10:11)

That's true. That's true.

A (10:13)

Well, I have two ex wives, by the way. All my shows, my comedy shows are benefit shows and all proceeds go to my ex wives. I just thought I'd let you know that if you pay a cover for my show, it goes to Botox and Pilates class.

B (10:26)

Oh my God. To the ticket line.

A (10:28)

And the cult that my ex wife joined, she's in a cult. So. Oh, it all goes to the.

B (10:32)

Culturally, it's a good cult.

A (10:34)

But I gotta laugh about that.

B (10:36)

You have to. I love the. One of the things that you do is you're like, well, first let me just say this. Laughter does have. What you just did that exercise when I was looking at you and we were doing that together. I can imagine being in a business place and everyone looking at everyone and just bursting out laughing. And when Lander and I would do something with you on the show and we'd start laughing and then he'd have to go, go to break, go to go to commercial because we can't even talk. No one can even talk. People would call us in their car, having to pull the car over on the highway and say, I don't even know why you're Laughing. But I had to pull over because it made me laugh too.

A (11:12)

That's it right there. You got the. That's the magic. That's the secret.

B (11:15)

Yeah.

A (11:17)

It's so contagious. We're so busy being angry with one another, projecting our resentments and going in our fear. Everybody's afraid, and they don't know how to deal with their fears. Laugh through it, and then you'll be. You'll become a better person. When we want to spread that contagion around is laughter and joy and be in joy.

B (11:39)

Do you have to laugh at yourself?

A (11:41)

That's what I do all the time. And you're, you know, the title of your program. That's. I've had to do that my entire life. My. My dad left when I was born.

B (11:49)

Right away. Gone.

A (11:50)

Oh, yeah, Gone. Gone. Yeah. And then he became a cult leader. It's a long story, but I had a really, really difficult time in life. And the only thing that saved me was laughter. We would get. We would watch television together. It's the only time we bonded. My mom was always working. She's trying to make a living at secretaries, whether she was a secretary or a law firm. And I was alone. Alone a lot. And I was, you know, really tiny. So I was picked on and beaten. I was kidnapped when I was 13 by a serial pedophile.

B (12:19)

What?

A (12:20)

Yeah. What? I'm not going to be a victim to that, though. This is where I learned resilience is really, really important in life. Not to be a victim. Everybody's like, hashtag this and ribbon this, like we're supposed to get on to your whatever you think you're a victim of. And a lot of times they're not even a victim of it. They're choosing who else is the victim.

B (12:37)

Right.

A (12:38)

Who's trending as a victim? I say that none of us are. None of us are. We need to really, really own our lives, have. Take ownership of our lives. And the one way you can do this, look more to laughter and not to the news, which is all negative. And they keep you in that condition. It's an addiction. So, you know, I'm long time sober now, and all of those things happen because of those difficult circumstances. I learned how to live, and a lot of it had to do with laughter. I wanted my mom married so bad. You know, I thought my dad's name was. Doesn't pay the child support. I thought that was his name because he didn't pay any child support. He would pop around every few years and I would try to fix my mom up with comedians on television. There's a show called Hollywood Squares.

B (13:26)

Yeah.

A (13:27)

Center square named Paul Lynde. Right. He was Uncle Arthur on Bewitched.

B (13:31)

He wanted to set mom up with Paul Lind.

A (13:34)

I did. I wrote him letters. Dear Paul Lynde, you should meet my mother. Because I read an article he was single. I didn't know why he was single. I thought he was happy. Hello.

B (13:43)

Hello. I love him. Oh, my God.

A (13:46)

Oh, love. Right? And my mom would laugh at him. She goes, he's adorable. My mom would say, he's a. And he's handsome. My mom never got who was gay. She did not. She thought Liberace was just flamboyant. My mom could never admit that anyone was. Like, the word gay wasn't even used back in her time. Right, right. And just like a woman who was a lesbian, was a spinster or whatever she would call it would never be. Oh, they were together, like, sexually. Oh, my God. God forbid. But my mom loved Paul Lynn. So I wrote him letters. I said, you should meet my mother. Here's her picture in a belly dancing outfit. That's a true story, too. And. And he never wrote me back. But my. My goal in life, Lynn, honest to God, when I was a kid, this is how innocent I was. I wanted to be. I wanted him to adopt me and marry my mother, and we would be the first father and son team on the Hollywood Squares.

B (14:35)

What? Like.

A (14:36)

Like they would be in the box together, you know, like Waylon and Madam always had their own box. I was picturing them going, I'd like Craig and Paul Lynn for the win, please. And we'd be in the box. Don't take it, son. It's a sports question. He's there. We'd wear double ascots. So that was. That was my visual of life. I really wanted that. But guess what, Lynn? The law of attraction. I ended up on Hollywood Square 75 episodes.

B (14:59)

75. How did I miss those episodes? Was that when Whoopi was producing, Tom Bergeron was hosting?

A (15:04)

Yeah, exactly. And the only problem is I'm not a big celebrity. I was always Craig Shoemaker to block.

B (15:11)

They used only to block.

A (15:12)

They only used me as a block. But it would never pick me first. I was always Whoopi or some big star. Like, one time I'm looking at a monitor, I'm like, the only way to go. She goes, I'll Antonio Banderas for the loss. Anything but try to pronounce Schumacher. But everybody calls me Schumacher.

B (15:29)

That's so funny. I was on the Hollywood Squares, too, by the way, just so you know.

A (15:33)

Wow.

B (15:35)

I played the game, and then I had to cover behind the scenes for Channel 4 in Boston.

A (15:41)

Oh, okay.

B (15:42)

So I got to go in the chair in the center square where you wanted to go with Paul.

A (15:46)

Oh, you were doing a. You were doing a piece of.

B (15:49)

Yeah, I was doing a piece for the local news.

A (15:52)

Oh, but they let you sit in the square.

B (15:54)

So they let me tour all around, and then I did my whole intro. But you know what they had to do? They tape five shows and five shows, like, Saturday and Sunday, as you remember, or at least 10 shows on weekends, like, right in a row. So they kept the audience in there, and they're like, okay, Lynn. Get Lynn. It's time for her to work. I'm like, you mean I have to do this thing for Boston in front of the entire audience waiting for me to finish so they can get back to tape another episode of Hollywood Squ. I thought I was gonna poop my pants. I really. I don't know how I did it. I don't even remember what I said. But those boxes are really uncomfortable and cramped, and they are not luxurious at all on the inside.

A (16:31)

No luxury. They have a new Hollywood scores. I don't know if they do have luxury anymore, but. Or if they. They made that fix. But they call it the Lynn Hoffman chair, as a matter of fact. Yeah, they have plush chairs now. They call it the Lynn Hoffman chair.

B (16:45)

So I had an effect. That's pretty cool.

A (16:47)

You inspired the Hollywood Squares to shift a little bit. So. With their production design by Lyn Hoffman. But, yeah, I mean, my life was all about. This really is difficult for me to deal with being beaten or whatever it is, or kidnapped. What am I going to do about it? You got a lot. You got a few choices. And I'm not up for the other choices of being a victim. I'm not up for being felt sorry for any of that kind of stuff. I'm up for. Let's make a difference with each other with a vibration of love, Light and laughter. Let's bring that. And the rising tide floats all the boats.

B (17:24)

It does. If we lift each other up, everybody wins. You're a pioneer. Using laughter as healing. As we were discussing, you've also had an incredible career in movies and television. You had roles in Parks and Recreation, one of my favorite shows, and Matlock. Last time I saw, you were gonna work on a movie with Farrah Fawcett.

A (17:43)

Oh, wow.

B (17:44)

Yeah.

A (17:44)

Wow. That's a long time ago. That's not the last time I saw you. That movie was done. It was. Farrah Fawcett did my movie, the Love Master. You know, my character, the Love Master.

B (17:51)

OB I rang the door.

A (17:54)

That's right, baby. Yeah, Lynn. Yeah. You see? Naked and afraid. I get naked. You'll be afraid, baby. Oh, yeah. I'm the Love Master, baby.

B (18:03)

I wasn't even gonna bring it up, but here it is.

A (18:06)

I put my pants on. Looks like a giraffe getting in a Mini Cooper, baby. Oh, yeah.

B (18:12)

The doorbell. The doorbell is what gets me.

A (18:15)

That was the scene with Farrah. Farrah was doing the movie called the Love Master, directed by my friend who we're going to get to, Michael Goldberg. She was. I couldn't believe it that she was doing my movie for, like, $100. So we're in a car rehearsing together, just alone, and I was practically calling her Ms. Fawcett. Like, thanks for doing my movie, Ms. Fawcett. And she goes, oh, shut up. I'm here, but I just want to know if that Love Master is real. And she reaches over and. No, there was no horn in my crotch. I'm not Carrot Top. But anyway, you get the idea. She reaches over for my junk. Really now? Oh, yeah. Full on.

B (18:53)

Farrah Fawcett groped you?

A (18:55)

Absolutely. And I was not gonna sue. I was gonna actually ask for. What's the opposite of restraining order? I was there. I could ask her to. I was gonna ask her for it to stalk me.

B (19:05)

Thank you, ma' am. Can I have another?

A (19:08)

Exactly. Unfortunately, I wasn't ready for my close up, though, so I had an innie. It's my regret in life that I go, okay, I'm ready now, because I was. I had, like, a soprano voice. Talker. Oh, she just grabbed me. No, I was not ready. Now I'm ready, baby. Oh, yeah. You might need two hands to handle the whopper, baby. Oh, yes. But she was so sweet. And yes, the doorbell was in the scene. She asks for the Love Master. Actually, maybe she was getting in the character. She has to. We go on a date and, you know, allegedly in the scene. And I said, oh, thanks, because I'm always, like, a nice guy and stuff. And she goes, oh, shut up. Where's the Love Master? I'm like, oh, that's a character. My act. And she hangs. She shuts the door in my face. Her door. And then her doorbell rings. And she answers it. Yes. That wasn't my hand that rang the doorbell. Oh, yeah. And then she goes, come on in, because that's what the women. The women. That's why the Love Master came about. Because the girls in high school would all use the F word with me. You know, the F word?

B (20:19)

Fun friend.

A (20:20)

I was always a freaking friend. I was so tired of being the friend. I was really tiny, and I'm six two now, but I was like five one in high school. And really tiny, high voice. And they would go to the bathroom together. You know, girls go to the posse pee.

B (20:33)

Yeah.

A (20:34)

They took me with them. That's what a geek I was. They took me with them on the posse pee. Come on, Craig, let's go.

B (20:39)

What did you do while they were using? Doing the makeup and the.

A (20:42)

I just said, sit on the tub. You know, everybody's smoking cigarettes back then and everything. Oh. Then they go, tommy's hot. George is hot. I'm going, yeah, I'll fix you up. I know those guys. Yeah, yeah. Because they were always bad guys. And that's when I'm the.

B (20:54)

You were a professional wingman when you were a kid?

A (20:57)

I was a wingman before there were wings.

B (20:59)

Oh, my God. No wonder you went into comedy.

A (21:04)

That's exactly why. Another thing. That, again, that was a pain point for me. You know, I wanted girls and they didn't want me. I asked 13 girls to go to the prom.

B (21:13)

Wow.

A (21:14)

And I actually had a funny thing happen again. These are a law of attraction. Things I want to tell people. Just be patient with your life, you know, just, you know, it will unfold the way it's supposed to unfold. So I'm on. I was on a TV show with Cindy Crawford.

B (21:30)

That's great advice, by the way, what you just said. Really great advice.

A (21:33)

Yeah, thanks. Yeah. I mean, just wait, you know, be patient. Grand Canyon is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, but it was not created in three days.

B (21:42)

No.

A (21:43)

Sometimes these creations need to take their time, you know, in the. The pace of a higher source, not our own pace with our own fears. So I'm on this NBC show with Cindy Crawford. They gave her a week on NBC to have her own show, late night show. And I was one of her guests. She went to the premiere, and she's talking to me. She goes, craig, you must have had a lot of girls because you're the love master. I go, oh, no, Cindy. Matter of fact, I asked 13 girls at the prom, and the one who went with me, Linda Scott, she made out with Ricky Aldemere in the corner, even though I paid for her corsage and all that. And then I looked in the camera. I Go. Well, Linda, I'm sitting here with Cindy Crawford. Sweet. So then that. Turns out he was watching. And so is Ricky, Adam's wife, because they emailed me.

B (22:27)

Get out of here.

A (22:28)

I got a little revenge for that. She was the 13th one I asked out because she would look good for the photos. I didn't. Wasn't dating or anything, but, yeah, she met up with Ricky Aldemere. He was there with someone else, and I. And I saw them in the corner. But, you know, those. Those things will cause comedy. And comedy is truth. If you can tell the truth out there, that makes for the best comedians. And the truth is we all have pain, but suffering's the choice. I choose not to suffer.

B (22:57)

Yeah, that. That's for sure. And. And you share that with people, which is, like, the best part of all. How do you navigate, though, the challenging landscape, if you will, of comedy, especially with the way society has sort of evolved in the last.

A (23:12)

I don.

B (23:13)

Decade. It's really interesting time.

A (23:17)

It's funny you use that word. It's devolve.

B (23:19)

Yeah.

A (23:19)

This is devolving. It really is. When you're playing the victim role and finger pointing and taking somebody's words of like, maybe 280 characters and make that their entire character and attack them for that. And it's amazing to me, this is another paradigm I'd like to switch is let's embrace the comedians, let's lift the comedians, and let us have that voice that is going to expose the people that are corrupt. We are the curtain pullers. We have no money behind us. You know, there's no union.

B (23:51)

No.

A (23:51)

I have a friend who did comedy for years. My opening act, my godfather, my son, he's almost homeless because he can't work. He has no residuals. We have nobody to support us. I'm not playing a victim either. But that's just. The fact is comedians are out there literally giving you your medicine, literally making you happy. That's our goal. It's our only goal. Yes, we're going to make some money, but there's not that many multimillionaire comedians. Definitely not. Very few billionaire comedians. But the billionaires get away with everything because the lemmings that follow them do their bidding for them. But what part of the bidding is. I'm going to attack the messenger, the comedian who's trying to expose these things in a funny way. That's what's really odd to me, is how many people are attacking and canceling comedians. Go cancel a congressman, cancel a lawmaker, cancel a lobbyist, cancel somebody Poisoning your crops. Cancel somebody who's making drugs that are really, really bad, like fentanyl and stuff. Go cancel them. Not a comedian who for one joke, if you don't like the joke, I say move on to the next one. There's another one coming that you're gonna like.

B (25:00)

It's like New England weather. Just wait a minute.

A (25:02)

Yeah, or New England clam chowder. You might not like the potatoes. I don't like the potatoes. I love the clams.

B (25:08)

Well, just don't eat it if you're laughing, because that coming through your nose is not.

A (25:12)

No, that's not.

B (25:13)

And it will with me. I tell people all the time, Craig. I live in this world of television, commercials, advertising and things. And I try to tell the close people in my world that I speak to. Being victimy that you talk about is sort of just being lazy. And also, if there's so much thing like you said, if they can keep you scared, they can control what you do. And there's no use in arguing about it. It's more like you're just willing to follow the pack as opposed to kind of blaze your own trail. And that's not easy for people at all to understand.

A (25:49)

I've always liked you and now I'm realizing why. You have a wisdom about you that you even had when you were 22 years old that is absolutely so wise what you just said.

B (25:59)

What did I say?

A (26:00)

No, what I said.

B (26:01)

I don't even know what I said.

A (26:02)

You're onto the formula that they give you in fear and then the masses follow and so on. That's paraphrasing what you were saying. But that's exactly what. It's obvious. But we just fall for it.

B (26:15)

But people don't believe me. And I'm embedded. Like, I'm here. I do imaging and marketing and commercials and things. So I understand how they're. And now it's really scary, Craig. Cause it's literally like one to one advertising. Like, you say something, your phone hears it, and you turn on the tv, Bam, there's a commercial specifically for you. Not the next door neighbor I know. So it's Gone are the days. Like, did you see that hilarious spot on tv? No, No, I didn't see it because I was watching the same channel. But something else came up for me.

A (26:49)

I'm hoping that it comes up. You want a billion dollars. I'm thinking that's gonna pop up on my screen sometime. But you won a billion dollars. It's amazing to me. I actually said, I wonder if my Hair is being lost here and then boom, every day.

B (27:04)

Yep.

A (27:04)

Here's transplants ads for. I'm coming across my phone. It's insane. I'm trying to figure out the other.

B (27:09)

Guy working on my house. He's. I gotta go. So why you gotta go? Oh, my dad called me and he told me, did you see that commercial for shingles? You better go right now. And he. And I was like, what? What?

A (27:24)

And you're like, you're working on my house? No, I met the shingles on my roof, buddy. Yeah, Start hammering.

B (27:30)

It was so weird, but. But I. But I saw that. That fear in his eyes. Like, well, if I see it and they're. And they're scaring me. It's easy to control when people are scared. It's easy to control what you do, what you buy, all of it.

A (27:43)

I'm just amazed how people aren't listening to their true sense. I speak and when I, you know, I coach now I do a lot of coaching, executive coaching.

B (27:52)

That's why I wanted you to come on here, because I know you an expert at laughter and healing, and it's so needed right now.

A (27:58)

I love some of the work that I've done to have people have personal transformations. And none of it happened from popping a pill. It all happened from some changes and shifts that they needed to make some mindset shifts. And it's amazing to watch how they transmute this pain into. Into pleasure and happiness and joy.

B (28:17)

Yeah.

A (28:17)

And it's. And it's an easy choice, but it's amazing how we don't make it because all they're doing is feeding us that crap. And now they're literally feeding us crap. We have the most obese country in the world. We're the first world country, but we. We have these third world problems of diabetes and heart issues and everything else. And then they get mad at somebody for saying you're fat, shaming or whatever it is. Well, how about try your. Do your own inventory on this. Watch what you're eating and really be conscious about what you're eating. But not only that, be conscious about protesting comedians as opposed to protest people that are making this crap that you're addicted to.

B (28:55)

But it's so hard for people. Craig.

A (28:57)

Processed foods. Of course, it's hard. Everything is hard. It was really hard for me to deal with no support when I was kidnapped. And I came back from being kidnapped. I was 13. Really, really hard. I was suicidal, by the way. Talk about laughter. So my mom raises by herself and, you know, and I told my mom, what happened? And she said, don't ever tell anyone this again. Which I would never do to my children. You cannot keep secrets like that.

B (29:20)

Oh, no.

A (29:21)

Because that's a point of shame. And you know you're gonna shame. Then I started Dr. At 13 and stuff like that. Well, then I suicide. I wanted to kill myself. I had no reason to live. And this was a guy I empowered to be, like, a father figure. And he took me away. And it's a really bad situation.

B (29:36)

My God.

A (29:37)

So I put these neckties. I tied these neckties together, and I threw them over the closet door, and I tied them on the doorknob, and I made a noose that I learned in Boy Scouts. And I started dangling and choking. And my mom comes in, just, oh, my God, what are you doing? She goes, those are new neckties. Get up.

B (29:59)

Only you would turn that into a comedy situation.

A (30:03)

But it's true.

B (30:04)

Holy moly.

A (30:06)

He did say that.

B (30:07)

Wow.

A (30:08)

And I could get up, by the way. I was on my knees. I just got up, you know, I mean, I wasn't really doing it, but there was some part of me that wanted to be checked out.

B (30:16)

Yeah.

A (30:17)

Instead of now and check in all the time and just, you know, be who we truly are. We're meant to be. Love, light and laughter. That's what we're meant to be. You know, let's do a laugh bit. You know, children laugh 300 times a day and adults laugh 20. We need to, you know, catch the kids here. You know, I mean, like. Yeah, that's why we need a laugh. But we need. We need to laugh that much. We're instinctually. It's. I call it the seventh sense, our sense of humor.

B (30:40)

Oh, I never heard of that before. That's awesome.

A (30:44)

You're so right. It's the seventh sense. We all know the six senses. Intuition and things like that. We all know the five senses, Our seventh sense, which we ignore. We don't even call it that. I'm starting to call it that with my business. It's something we ignore, but we need to have that sense of self, our sense of humor, because it goes away. We're born laughing, Right? Peekaboo. Makes you laugh.

B (31:07)

Yeah.

A (31:08)

The simplest thing in the world. We don't analyze it. All that stupid stuff. Three Stooges. Honey, you're just laughing. It's the silliest crap ever. There's no punchlines or anything, but it's so simple. Then we make it complex because we indoctrinate children to believe. You must follow and regurgitate you regurgitate the information we give you. I can still tell you. 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Nina Pinta, Santa Maria. I can live right.

B (31:42)

Wow. Yeah, that was good.

A (31:44)

What purpose does that serve me, right? And it turns out he wasn't such a great guy either. Like, took the holiday away. We grew up Columbus, Colombo. It's Italian day now. They're going, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He annihilated entire cultures. I mean, anyway.

B (32:02)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (32:03)

I'm not going to get into the politics. People get upset. The point is, I'm just regurgitating what they tell me to learn. And that's what school is.

B (32:10)

Yeah.

A (32:11)

And for your compliance, you get a reward, an award, whatever it is. Even if you go to war, you get a little medal. Get a little medal here. Do your job. We're going to tell you who to hate. We're going to tell you who your enemy is. You're going to go fight for us. And that's how the world operates. I'm saying, listen to your true sense of self. And it wants none of that. It doesn't want violence. It doesn't want to fight or be angry or raging or hate. That's not what your true self wants. But we've been taught that. So I have a program, literally, when I coach groups, individuals to recondition, to be who we really are. Reprogram through a programming that I've developed. And including what you did earlier, just a little bit of it is shifting your vibration through the power of laughter.

B (32:54)

There's something about vibration that is scientific, like you had mentioned up front.

A (32:59)

Another thing you're wise about. It's exactly right. We are all energy.

B (33:02)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (33:03)

That's what we are.

B (33:04)

We have electricity in us. Like we don't plug into a wall. That's always baffled me.

A (33:10)

And now we have false electricity guiding us. These smartphones are making idiots.

B (33:15)

Oh, yeah, dumb phones.

A (33:16)

I mean, it's making me into an idiot. You know, what's happening is I. Yeah, I. I scroll. I'm guilty. I scroll, okay. And I late night scroll, which is not good. That's bad for it. Let's give you insomnia. I mean, I'm. And what's happening is my hard drive in my head only has so much space. Right? We only have so much space. So valuable stuff has to leave my brain. So crap like what you have for dessert on Instagram goes in. That's what we. Because everybody's so self obsessed. Oh, let me show you what I have My life, how beautiful it is. So now it's like, now that's being programmed into me. So now everybody. So there's a new Customer, probably last 20 years. I'm in the restaurant. He comes up and he goes, my name is Cade. I'll be your waiter. I go, do I have to memorize your name?

B (34:00)

Is there going to be a test?

A (34:02)

You just. You just replaced my Social Security number. Don't give me the specials. I'll lose my Gmail password. Gmail password pisses me off, by the way. It's always fighting with me. Talk about fighting. It's not strong enough. They're calling me a wuss over here. They're arguing, that's my password. And they go, try a symbol. Try a number. How's this? £ £ £, you jackass.

B (34:26)

Yeah, every swear in the book.

A (34:28)

Yeah, that one gets right through.

B (34:30)

Yeah.

A (34:30)

Of course, I all know my Gmail password.

B (34:33)

Is this the. The classes that you're teaching? Is that part of Laughter Heals? The Laughter Heals Foundation. You started that a while back.

A (34:40)

Yeah, and that was inspired, because I will tell you, positive, and I don't want to call anything negative, but. But, you know, I was. I've been doing comedy for years, and I had all these people come up to me, especially Detroit. That was the first time it happened. I'll never forget. He came and said, hey, thank you so much. I just thought they were saying, thanks for the laughs that night. And I said, no, really. We were told we couldn't have a child. We tried in vitro, everything. We gave up. We saw your show, went home. My husband pretended he was a love master. We had a wonderful time, and we had a baby girl nine months later. Right. So that's when I thought to myself, wow, laughter is good medicine. And I thought, wow, you're not trying to have a child. You're just allowing. You're creating space, a laughter space and all that. So then I had all these other people set up like one. I have a photo. I should show it to you. Conceived in the parking lot of the Brea Improv minutes after my show. They couldn't even wait till they got home. And there's this little girl who came out laughing. It's the funniest little picture that they sent me.

B (35:43)

How does that. How does that make you feel when. When that happens?

A (35:46)

Oh, I just love it. I love it. I embrace it because I'm thinking, it's not an ego thing. I go, oh, laughter works. Not Craig works. Now, I happen to be the messenger of the Laughs. That's great. But I always tell people, go wherever you need to. You might think I stink. It doesn't matter to me. Just go somewhere else and go get the laughs. Or do a guided laughitation. It's your choice. So. And then my child Jared was adopted, and no breast milk. Guess where his breast milk came from. Brett and Mindy couldn't conceive. I said, come to my show. They did. They had sex, and they had baby Cooper, who was born one week different than Jared. Yes. One week.

B (36:24)

Stop.

A (36:25)

So we would go to the farmer's market and get Mindy's breast milk, like a drug deal.

B (36:32)

Did she have her fridge all stocked up and.

A (36:35)

Yeah, she froze it for us. This is for Jared. This is for Cooper. Oh, yeah. Because, listen, I gave them life, and they give Jared life of, you know, of this 20 years ago. I mean, so.

B (36:47)

What a gift.

A (36:48)

Anyway, all to get to the story of Michael Goldberg. He wrote Cool Running's Little Giants, One of my best friends from Philly, But Eagles parties everywhere. I mean, we just were bonded. He directed the Love Master movie with Farrah Fawce, and we're in Arizona filming some of it. And his wife, they wanted to have a baby. Karen, who actually was my blind date at first, he married her. And so Karen says, I'm ovulating. We're in a condo about to watch our Eagles, actually. And I said, hey, man, do the Love Master. It works for a lot of people. It's a fertility clinic over here. They said, yeah, it's a great idea. So I said, I'll go get sandwiches. I went and got sandwiches, came back, they were already done. I guess Love Master did his job.

B (37:30)

Wow.

A (37:31)

Baby Kayla was born nine months later.

B (37:33)

What?

A (37:34)

Yeah.

B (37:35)

So how many kids is this? How many kids is this now?

A (37:38)

I can't. Well, I. Five. I count five, for sure. Wow. Conceived by guys doing the Love Master.

B (37:46)

Do you keep in touch with them?

A (37:47)

Well, I'll tell you the story with Golds. His name's Golds. Michael Goldberg. Oh, again, a comedy guy. Really funny dude. We bonded through laughter, which is another thing. We bond with our kids. I talk about this when I coach. Is it. Who do you bond with from your childhood? People you laugh with. Right. You share laughter together. It's the you don't want to hang out with some miserable gloom and doom person. Right?

B (38:10)

Yeah.

A (38:10)

Although misery loves company sometimes. But anyway, a year and a half after Kayla was born, he was diagnosed with brain cancer, and they gave him three months to live. That was my moment. Why I'm on your show. Because that was the moment I went, ah, if laughter is the best medicine, let's prove it. And I started this program in a cancer facility in the Valley. He showed up for all of it. I just was making it up as I went along. I did a lot of research. There's a lot of science that backs this up. In my new business of LaughterWorks, we actually have the top neuroscience from Harvard. He's with our, he's on our board now. And this is all backed up. This is, this is serious. Take laughter seriously. I mean, it really is what it does to you for your healing process. And if anything, it does. It gives you a will to live the more you want to laugh. He took all my prescriptions. I said, hey, let's all exchange our favorite comedy movies. Even saying the name of the movie is funny and fun or a quote from the movie. If I say those aren't pillows, Planes, Trains, Automobiles, then people laugh just at the thought of that scene of those aren't pillows. Anyway, how about the Bears game?

B (39:21)

Housekeeping?

A (39:26)

See what I mean? You're laughing just at the thought. That's the vibration that's being exchanged between us right now. He shows up for all of it, does all the prescriptions. I said, go to comedy shows. He was in so many of my shows. It came three months to live. He lived 15 years past that prognosis. Fifteen years.

B (39:42)

Oh my God, Craig, I'm gonna cry and I don't have any tissues. Now you're making me cry. Holy crap.

A (39:48)

And he had a team of about five of us would like, you know, look, he went through the chemo's and stuff like that as well. But he had this will to live that you can't coach. He really did. And he showed up for all of it. And then if I may get a little. People can tune away if you don't want to hear a semi crude story, but it is funny. Okay, it's a little risque, but let's. How about you just take those things out of what you think is risque and just listen to the story for what it is, the true story. He was in hospice and it was the end. He was actually living in an old folks home at 50 years old. That was so sad, you know, to go in there. By the way, if ever I'm in need of a self esteem boost, I can get laid in these old, old people's homes. I'm a stud in there. They'll just walk up and go, let me take you in a closet. I Have no teeth. I'm perfect for you. It was unbelievable. I want. I never felt like such a stud. I. I mean, wow. So anyway, that's really.

B (40:46)

You say venereal diseases are up in retirement homes and.

A (40:50)

That's right.

B (40:50)

Old age homes and stuff. So. That is true. Let him have fun. What the hell?

A (40:56)

Exactly. What else? You gonna judge them? They don't even judge anymore. Who cares anymore at that point? Well, I go in there and we filmed this, actually, for a movie called Laughter Heels, but I have a nonprofit called Laughter Heals, which I formed for him. And we go to hospitals, aftercare facilities, wounded warriors, first responders. We help people find this joy and this laughter in their lives because they're dealing with difficult circumstances. And this will shift them in no other way. No. No better way. So he shows up for all of it, then he ends up in a coma. He's literally in a coma. We have. We filmed it. And I said, what can I say? Colts, what can we do for you? He's just staring. Literally staring in this. I was, like, waving my hand in front of him. What could I do, man? What can I do to help you? I leaned in, I said, want me to give you a handy? I never done anybody but my own. I'm really good with my own. I'll give you a handy. He came out of a comb, and he goes. And he laughed.

B (41:56)

Shut up.

A (41:56)

I told him I was gonna whack him off.

B (41:59)

I believe that's called. No, I shouldn't say it. Sorry.

A (42:02)

Oh, say it. Say it.

B (42:04)

I think that's called Andy J. He left off the J for my crude comedy friends, the handy J. I didn't know that.

A (42:12)

From now on, when I tell the story, I'll make it up that I didn't say J. I actually said. I'll tell you what I said. I said, you want me to jerk you off? Because that's a photo.

B (42:19)

Got it, got it, got it.

A (42:20)

Philadelphia. That's the. They'll call you J. O with the accent. You're a J. O. It's the worst thing.

B (42:27)

But he woke up. He woke up and laughed.

A (42:29)

Laughed. He laughed.

B (42:31)

Were there doctors in the room that saw this happen?

A (42:34)

Well, it was definitely. One of our friends was in the room because he was filming it and.

B (42:38)

Whoa.

A (42:39)

Bennett, who's a director, and he. Yeah, he was there. And. Yeah, I think there was a. There was a nurse there that saw this. He was just. I'm waving my hand. There was no way. He was. And he. He had been in a coma before. I remember like, years before. And when he came out of a coma, I actually said to him, you could hear us, couldn't you? And he goes, yeah, I could hear you in a coma. That they act like they can't or they don't or whatever the case is. But anyway, he heard me and he laughed because he knew that was. And he died two days later. But I. I'm happy and proud that I made him laugh.

B (43:09)

Oh, my gosh.

A (43:10)

You know, and that's a great legacy. I'll take that one all day long. And by the way, I didn't go through with it. I did not.

B (43:17)

I wasn't even gonna ask that. But thanks for letting us know, because.

A (43:20)

I know you're mine. Shoemaker. Did you complete your promise, Shoemaker? No. No, Jo.

B (43:28)

Well, you know, it's interesting that you bring that up, because this was leading me to my next question.

A (43:33)

I can't imagine where Jo goes to your next question.

B (43:36)

Don't you love that? This is called the Jo Se.

A (43:41)

It's a first. I guarantee it's a first. There's a second.

B (43:45)

How can Lyn take that and roll it into something.

A (43:47)

I'm waiting. I'm sitting back. Where's Lynn going? I know she's a genius on the microphone. Let's see where this is going. Go ahead.

B (43:53)

Well, I wouldn't go that far, but thank you. I'll take it. Looking back on your career, which has been long and lusterious, because I don't even know if that's a word, lusterious, but I found stuff from you from, like, the early 80s and stuff. So you've been at this a long time. And if you look back on your whole career, especially with everything that you've been through, we didn't even touch relationship with your dad when he came back into your life. I do believe I. Yeah, yeah. There was a. But what do you hope for, especially with all of these foundations, what do you hope that your legacy will be? And. And how do you want to be remembered in the world of comedy?

A (44:29)

It's funny. You just say that there's a difference between comedy and laughter, and that's something I feel like me finding that difference is important for the world to understand because we're divided on what makes us laugh. We're not divided when we are laughing. That's a good quote, isn't it?

B (44:48)

That is. You should put that on a T shirt.

A (44:50)

Yeah, write that down. All right.

B (44:53)

I only have a Sharpie.

A (44:54)

It's not gonna come up with all these quotes. The other day, I came up with 7 cents, actually.

B (44:58)

I love it. But we're recording this, so it's, it's in there.

A (45:02)

Yeah, I, I, I want my legacy to be. For instance, I have a legacy business now. Laughter works where we're going to change corporate wellness and turn it on its head. And it's a huge business. And look, I found out in life that's not about awards and rewards. I was, I was a comedian here at American Comedy Awards. It's like the big. It's the Oscar of comedy. It's on abc. It was presented by Lily Tomlin. You know, do you know it was the loneliest night of my life?

B (45:30)

Really?

A (45:31)

Yeah. Because I got there and I'm going, wow. First there's no there there. Then I see people backstage. My contemporaries are shining me off. You. That night they did. I was driving around in a limo with my big award and you get imposter syndrome. And it was a really, really lonely night. But it also became a point where I could go, okay, what is this about? Is this about my ego? So what's the legacy? The legacy is if I can teach people and guide people into a new realm of possibility with the, the power of laughter, then I'm doing my job. It's not about me being rewarded. Like, I, I have a trophy next to me. I gotta, I don't want to brag, but I do have one I want to brag about.

B (46:17)

Let's see it.

A (46:18)

So I've got a couple Emmys back here, right? And I've got the comedian year, American Comedy Awards, sporting actor and all this kind of stuff. But here, this award right here, keep it next to me. I won the horse's ass award at my ex reunion.

B (46:31)

That's an ass of a horse made into an award.

A (46:35)

Holy moly. I won this trophy, the horse is ass of my ex wife's family reunion from, by the way, your area, Massachusetts. I won that award and I deserve, and I deserved it, earned that reward and award.

B (46:48)

Wow. Are you still friends with your exes?

A (46:53)

No. On one of them for sure. No. I don't know that that could ever be repaired unless something happened with her like a lightning bolt.

B (47:02)

Understood.

A (47:03)

Wake her up into. I've done my job with both. I have done my job, literally. All the forgiveness, all of the amends, everything that I need to do to clean up my side. Some people I don't think are capable. You know, I used to say to my two of my sons, I say, and she puts her head to the pillow. Does she really believe those Things because she would accuse me of these things. Like, a lot of women are doing this. It's very sad. But they work the court system, and they don't get punished for bringing up false things. They do not get punished whatsoever. And that stuff sticks to a guy. When you hear this stuff that she would say about me, cost me like a million dollars to prove my innocence. That would have gone to my children. That's all my. Everything I do ever do in life all goes to kids. My kids. And that yet wives are preventing that from taking place because they take it through this revenge system that we're in. In the family court system. It's not built for the man, because we're still paying for the, you know, for the 1950s fathers and said, get my slippers. They think that we're still that guy.

B (48:11)

Yeah.

A (48:12)

And so if you get a. Something attached to you, you're a bully, abuser, and, oh, it's done. You know, that's it. I believe her is literally a statement you'll hear out there. Well, it's a bad situation to be in, so I can only bring my kids what. Who I truly am. So if you say I the one, I definitely don't speak to the other one. She joined a cult. And so.

B (48:38)

Are you serious when you say that? Like, oh, my God.

A (48:40)

Yeah, she's been. She was literally just completely brainwashed. My kids say it, too. They spoke to the police about it. Yeah. She's completely enamored with this cult leader, this woman. She just follows everything that she does. She has a podcast. It's just. It's really, really. It's heartbreaking, though, to see somebody with this kind of, you know, it's mental health, which, again, that's what I'm helping people with, is mental health. Her mental health is so far compromised by giving all of her power over to somebody. Where I'm saying you have the power within you. You tap into that potency. That potency which is filled with joy and laughter, happiness, gratitude, grace. That's who we really are. And she went down this other path of greed and selfishness and blew the whole family up for no reason. But in that case, there's a much better chance, because first, we have two young children. It was really close. And during the fires, again, my highest source and highest good, we evacuated. I invited her to the beach house that I rented, and she moved into the beach house. So there we were, you know, still divorced and still, you know, in alleged battle, and we walk in the beach together and laughing and going on Dunes and cartwheels and making fun of me. Of course. That's always part of it.

B (50:02)

That's the best part.

A (50:03)

Of course. It always is. Dad's always by the brunt of the.

B (50:06)

Joke, make fun of Craig.

A (50:08)

What's great about comedy is I get to reverse that on a stage with a microphone. But. But it was really beautiful. And in the moment, not to say it stayed, you know, there's. But that's where I'm going to keep returning to. I'm going to keep returning to that. That true essence that I really am. My true seventh sense is my sense of humor. I'm going to keep returning to it. And with sense of humor comes love and light. And that's. That's where I hope that we could all get to. Obvious all is never going to happen. But. But more people, if we do follow this indoctrination, if you will, we're indoctrinated to be in fear. Why not be indoctrinated to look for more joy, look for more laughter, Keep your laugh bit. Pay attention to, Whoa, look at how many times I laughed today. I guarantee you're gonna feel better. Right?

B (50:55)

I think that we need to call Apple immediately after this call and pitch them on the idea, because I think that is genius. I also think that you're genius because of what you're doing with your craft and because it helps so many people. And the question I have for you is, you know, you're giving of yourself and people want to get what you're giving and have it work. And I've had so many people tell me through my life when. When I would say to them, you know, happiness is a choice, and you have to force yourself and teach yourself. You have to learn behavior. And if you learn a different behavior and you've been doing it for so long, yeah, it's hard, but you can. The old saying, people don't change is. I think it's bullshit. I think people.

A (51:39)

I agree with you, Lynn.

B (51:40)

They work hard on something.

A (51:41)

You need to live out here. We can hang out more. For God's sake. You need to hang out more. You're in complete alignment. Actually, one of my books is called get out of Line and Into Alignment.

B (51:51)

Well, that's a chiropractor.

A (51:55)

This is alignment with your true self. You're out of these people's lines, right? And that's so important. Even the topics of your podcasts, it's out of line. That's not in line with. With them telling you to pop a drug for your answer or. Right or eat something bad for you. That's you're in alignment with yourself, your true self. Which is probably why you still look 22 years old. And you're not 22 anymore. I know it. I googled.

B (52:20)

Craig, thanks so much for being on comedy. Save me. And thank you for the joy of laughter and the therapy that you continue to spread and give everyone, because I think think you should be a doctor of laughter.

A (52:33)

Life has changed, but you and I haven't. Can't wait to hang with you when I come back east. There you come out west.

B (52:39)

All right, Craig, thank you.

A (52:45)

This is an iHeart podcast.