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Trey Farrow
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Saved me for me like writing songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like when you get that, like, last piece, things click, everything makes sense and you're like, I won the game, I finished. You know, I don't know. Feels like it's exhilarating.
Alexandra Savior
Welcome to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explored the transformative power of music through the stories of of artists who have found solace, strength and inspiration in their craft. I'm your host, Lynne Hoffman and today we are joined by Alexandra Savior, the Portland born singer songwriter whose haunting atmospheric sound has captivated listeners since her breakout as a teenager. She is literally referred to as a once in a lifetime artist. She was discovered at the age of 17 by 1 Courtney Love after posting a cover song online. And Alexander quickly found herself navigating the highs and the lows of the music industry from major label deals to reclaiming her creative independence. Yay. She's known for her evocative songwriting and cinematic style and has weathered personal and professional storms, channeling all of her experiences into acclaimed albums like Belladonna of Sadness and the Archer. Now with her latest release, Beneath the Lily Pad, she continues to evolve, offering listeners a deeper glimpse of into her world and the healing force of music. In this episode, Alexandra opens up about how music has been both a refuge and a form of self discovery. The challenges of staying authentic in an industry that often demands conformity and the stories behind her newest work. So please join me now as we talk about resilience, creativity, and the songs that save us again and again. Alexandra Savior, welcome to Music Saved Me. It's so great to have you here with us today.
Trey Farrow
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
Alexandra Savior
So we're going to start with a hard question up front just to get it out of the way. And I think it's what a lot of people want to know is can you share a moment in your life when music truly saved you or maybe provided a sense of solace during a particularly difficult time?
Trey Farrow
Yeah, I think that that's. I think, I mean, I've had so many points in my life where music has saved me. I think probably the main one, which is also kind of connected to this, the making of this album, was that I was hospitalized for mental illness psychosis. And I think getting out when I was out of the hospital, it really helped me, like writing songs really helped me learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and how you know, just what that experience was like because it's so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it. And so I think that that was like, like a kind of a literal way of music saving me. You Know. Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
And. Well, especially the. The title underneath the lily Pad. I mean, just the way you described how you would look at life from a totally different perspective. There's the top side and then there's the down deep side.
Trey Farrow
Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think, like, writing music for me, it's like a form of. Of like my kind of unconscious self coming to the surface as well. And it. Sometimes it'll be like years later after I write a song, and I'll be like, oh, that's what that was about. I didn't even know I had the self awareness at that time to write about the fact that I was going through this or feeling this or experiencing, you know, something in life.
Alexandra Savior
That's so amazing too, that the being able to look back and seeing those things. Most people, regardless of your struggles, just so you know, the longer you live, the more you look back on things and you realize some meanings that you didn't even know were happening at that time. It's. It's so true. And it's probably another reason why your work resonates with so many millions of people all around the world. How has your relationship with music evolved from the early songwriting to now, you know, in terms of maybe an emotional outlet? Sort of like you just sort of hinted at.
Trey Farrow
Oh, you know what I think emotionally, I don't think it's changed very much. I think, like, it's always been for.
Alexandra Savior
Me.
Trey Farrow
Very much about, like, evoking emotion or, you know, connecting to. To my feelings. I think, because I. I have like too many feelings, so. And I always have my whole life. So I think even when I was like, starting out, when I was like 16, that that was still very much there. I don't think that's. I don't think it's really changed much, to be honest. I've. Maybe I've gotten better at songwriting. I was like. I wouldn't say I was like a prodigy in any way. It took me a while to figure it out, but I think the emotional elements always kind of insane.
Alexandra Savior
Well, are there any particular songs or artists that you know, either albums that you own or others that you turn to when. When you need solace or comfort?
Trey Farrow
Yeah, there's an album by Sybil Bayer, which I feel like I always pronounce her name wrong, but it's either Sybil Bear, Sybil Byer. I think it's called I Lost Something in the Hills. And it's. I listened to that again and again. I go back to that one a lot, and I go back to a lot of Nina Simone and Billie Holiday and. And stuff like that.
Alexandra Savior
Stuff that maybe you grew up listening to.
Trey Farrow
Yeah, Things that I kind of, like, discovered when I was young and, like, really cracked my head open.
Alexandra Savior
I think I read about your parents liking the rock and roll, so that might have a little something to do with it.
Trey Farrow
Yeah, they were. Yeah, they were big. Yeah. My whole family. That was kind of the deal growing up.
Alexandra Savior
I love it. A musical family. You've talked openly about the importance of honesty in your songwriting and some of the things that I've read. How does being authentic in your music help you process sort of your own experiences? And what do you hope listeners of your music take away from. From that honesty?
Trey Farrow
It's funny because I feel like I make a. I make it a challenge when I actually feel. Yeah, when I make. I make a challenge for myself when I'm writing songs or the topic of the song, the subject to be, like, hidden. And I think I learned that when I was making my first record was just, like, how to hide and leave little, like, Easter eggs around within, like, the lyrics of the. Of the song. So it's interesting because I don't know if I'm very. If I'm actually that honest. Sorry, I don't mean to contradict everything, but. No, I don't think I'm that honest.
Alexandra Savior
No, I get it.
Trey Farrow
I'm honest in life, but maybe not as much in my songwriting. Or maybe I just think I'm, like, doing a really good job hiding what's going on, but everybody knows I think I'm being sneaky.
Alexandra Savior
Well, no, you say that, though. You know, I'm unforgivable. Let's just use this as an example. You know, when you listen to the words and what's lovely nowadays is when you're watching someone's video on. Online, they. The weird words come up so you actually know what's being sung. They didn't always do. And I was. I was reading along as I was listening, and I kept thinking, wow, this is incredible, because it literally could fit for anyone listening with whatever they're going through. It could mean something completely different. And I don't really know what this means for her, but it. But actually it's okay. If it means different things to different people, would that be true?
Trey Farrow
Yeah, I mean, that's why it's, like, I'm sometimes hesitant to give too much information about what a song is on a personal level because I really want people to connect with it or, like, within their own experiences and feel like it's for them and feel like it's about what they're going through in their lives. But I think also, yeah, I think the reason why, like, with Unforgivable, why it's hard to tell what it's about. I think it's just, like, I was, like, kind of conditioned throughout all these experiences that I've had as a woman to keep them a secret. And I don't know if I'm quite, like, powerful enough to be blatant about what the song is about yet, you know? And so, yeah, I was intentionally secretive, hopefully.
Alexandra Savior
Well, it's tough stuff, you know, it's empowering. It's an uplifting song. But it's a very serious subject matter that you're discussing, so it would make sense that you wouldn't want to divulge that information. But still, it totally resonated in my life, whether it was similar or not. So you are really sharing about yourself, and you are, but you're doing it the perfect way. You mentioned vulnerability that comes with releasing new work. How do you navigate that, being so vulnerable, especially as your sound and your perspective sort of has matured through the last few years?
Trey Farrow
Oh, I don't know. I think the vulnerability. I mean, this album in particular is probably the most vulnerable that I have been within my writing. And I think that the way that I've navigated that is that I waited five years to release it until I really was, like, I didn't feel ready to share any of this up until very recently. And so I think it's just, like, being kind to yourself and allowing time to kind of heal and, like, strengthen your, you know, your wounds and, like, not forcing it. Yeah, I think not forcing anything is really important and hard as well.
Alexandra Savior
Yeah. Well, you held onto that gem for five years. That's hard. But even harder, I will say, is releasing it and then everything, the judgment, the. All of that's there. Did you. Were you hesitant even that, like, on the eve of releasing that you were nervous about it or.
Trey Farrow
It's really weird because I really. It really hasn't hit me that it's, like, in the world. I think it's. It feels very. It feels like. Like the album came out and, like, I hung out with my girlfriends, we went bowling, and then. And then that was kind of it. And, like, I. It's just. It's strange because I'm like. I can see it on a computer that it's, like, on a. On Spotify or on, like, available, but I can't really, like, because I haven't played any shows yet. I haven't really gotten to, like, see how it's affecting people yet. You know, I think it'll be more real.
Alexandra Savior
You're in your bedroom, you become famous. Releasing a song from your bedroom, and then you don't even really have a lot of radio stations that you can just turn on. Hey, that's me. You're just looking at downloads happening on the Internet. That's gotta be strange.
Trey Farrow
I pretty much had no idea what's going on with it.
Alexandra Savior
It's probably better that way.
Trey Farrow
Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
You just focus on doing the things that make you feel good, and it's probably better that way.
Trey Farrow
Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
You know, early on in your career, I read that you faced a lot of pressure, you know, to fit a certain mold. I don't know if you ever heard, like, you know, Johnny Bravo from the. An Old Brady Bunch reference, but, you know, he fit the suit. So, you know, how is. How is music and has music empowered you to sort of define yourself on your own terms?
Trey Farrow
It's interesting because I think, like, early on, I made the mistake of thinking that everybody else saw me the way that I see myself. And I made the mistake of thinking that people could see kind of all of these things that I wanted to create or hear them without them existing, like, outside of my brain. And I think it. It. And then, you know, having. Having kind of this pressure to it made me feel like whatever I was wasn't enough. And I'm now totally forgetting the question.
Alexandra Savior
Oh, just, you know, pressure to fit that and being empowered by music. That's. I go there too. Too many thoughts. Too many thoughts.
Trey Farrow
I. I guess it's just, like, I didn't understand why I had to fit into another mold, because I thought, well, I've already got one. You know, I already am this. But, you know, I think having the courage to, like, create. Create as much as you can until you finally get it right is really what I needed. I needed time. And I think that you can't, like, pressure someone into figuring out who they are. You know, everybody has to figure it out on their own, always.
Alexandra Savior
Yeah, we're all definitely on our own schedules, for sure. We'll be right back with more of the Music Saved Me podcast. And by the way, if you like this podcast, you are going to love our companion podcast called Taking a Walk. It's hosted by my dear friend, Buzz Knight, and you can find it wherever you get your podcasts.
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Alexandra Savior
Welcome back to the Music Saved Me podcast. The podcast where we discuss the healing powers of music with some of the biggest names in music as well as up and comers. You know, I reading about you in treatment versus out of treatment and the fact that you're willing to open up and talk about things that don't necessarily feel comfortable. Yeah. And not just, you know, in your music, but who you are and, and your story, really. And, and I think it's. It's really amazing because so many people don't know. And then here you come and you just put it out there. Do you realize the impact that you have on others mental health?
Trey Farrow
No.
Alexandra Savior
I mean, it's pretty heavy, Right.
Trey Farrow
I have a lot of friends. I mean, I live in Los Angeles, so I have a lot of friends who are crazy. That kind of goes with this territory. So, I mean, I can see how me having experienced that has helped, like my, my, my friends that are. That go through stuff. But. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I don't really have an understanding of, like, outside of my personal circle, like how people or like how many people even listen to my music, let alone like, how they're affected by. It doesn't. Or by my, like, being open about it. I don't know. I have no idea.
Alexandra Savior
Well, I suspect that you're gonna soon find out when you start performing out to large crowds that, that. That's a whole new experience.
Trey Farrow
Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
For you. That you're. Wow, I can't even wait. I gotta talk to you after your major tours because I can't wait to hear about that. What advice? Part of the reason why I asked that question was I'd love to know some advice that you would give to young artists who are Maybe struggling to maintain their. You know, in an industry that really does sometimes push conformity, you know, I.
Trey Farrow
Mean, I think it's. I have, like, a very strong belief that no matter how much you tried to, you know, say you're like, I. I want to write a Cayman Paula song. And you go. And you look at the chord structures within the Tame Impala song and. And you get all the same, like, gear, and you. And you use the same mics and everything, and you write a Tam Impala song like it's never going to be anything but yours. You know, you're always there. Like, you're always there at the center of it. And what you are making, no matter how much you try to make it like someone else, it's just. It's always going to be you. And so I think being influenced by other musicians is a. Is great. And keep me. Always keep that there. But I think don't. Don't push too much against your instinct.
Alexandra Savior
That's probably the best advice I think I've ever heard anyone give. And I've talked to the biggest names in show business. 100 million albums. What you said is the number one thing. Instinct. Don't. Don't go against it. It will always steer you in the right direction.
Trey Farrow
Your instinct.
Alexandra Savior
Right.
Trey Farrow
Yeah, I agree. I really feel that way. It's hard to do.
Alexandra Savior
My mom used to. It is hard to do. My mom told me that. And I always wondered, like, how am I supposed to. How do I do that? How do I know? But you learn to listen, and hindsight's always 20 20. So true, thankfully. All right, let's talk about the Mothership. This is so cool. Your recent single and the upcoming work sort of show this, like, new direction than when you first started. What sort of. It's a little bit of a shift in sound, which is incredible, by the way. It's like nothing I've ever heard before. And it's absolutely. It's beautiful. It's incredible. To me, it's, like, epic, to the point where it belongs. It's storytelling. Just the music alone, not let alone the lyrics. It's. It's fantastic. So I wondered what inspired the shift in sound and the way you tell stories.
Trey Farrow
Well, so the Mothership is, like, one of the last songs that was added onto the. To that album. And for most of this album, I think that I was really steering away from kind of my earlier music and, like, wanting to have a more dreamlike, sort of folky, like, jazz, mystical thing that I was trying to attach to. And I Think the Mothership was a song that it kind of combined, like, my old world and my new world. And I wrote it really quickly. Like, it took me, I think, like, 20 minutes to write, and it was just, like. It felt really natural.
Alexandra Savior
I don't know.
Trey Farrow
I didn't really think too much about it, to be honest, and it just kind of happened. And it was. Yeah, it was one of the last songs added to the album, which is funny. It's the first song, I think, for one of the first lines, it's.
Alexandra Savior
It's beautiful. It's in it for me. Not saying that it was for you, but for me, it was about letting go of the old and protect. It could be relationships. Doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, personal relationships, but it was. It was really cool. How did the experience of writing and recording during the Pandemic influence your creative process? That was quite a time we went through, and your latest music would reflect some of that time where you were, were in the process of writing.
Trey Farrow
Yeah, it was. It was eerie to be recording with, like, session musicians and, like, my friends, you know, at that time, everybody wearing masks and having to sit far away from each other, and it was hard. I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it again.
Alexandra Savior
I hope none of us have to. Did it. Did it have any. Any impact on what you wrote?
Trey Farrow
Yeah, definitely. I think that I was less aware of, like, the idea of an audience listening or the idea of, like, playing live on stage with a band when I was writing. So I think that, like, the energy levels are, like, kind of similar to, like, where we were all at, which was just like, being alone in our houses and not having, like, that, like, static energy of, like, going to shows every night, like I did with my second album. So, yeah, I think I just made it like a different space, a different energy space. Sounds really like woo woo when I say it out loud. Woo woo.
Alexandra Savior
I have a friend I call the Woo Woo girl. All right. Which song from your latest project feels the most personal to you?
Trey Farrow
I guess, you know, I really, like. I feel very connected to Hark. And there's also a song called the Harvest is Thoughtless. And those are very personal for me.
Alexandra Savior
What is it that you think it is about music that. That makes it such a powerful force, you know, for healing and connection, not just for the artist, but also for the listeners, you know, Is it the writing? Is it the. You know, the. The actual physical sound it creates? Is it the artist? What do you think all of that is and why. Why it's so powerful.
Trey Farrow
I don't know. I think music is just such a unique force. I think it's the most indescribable experience that we have as humans. Like, I. I mean, it's like. It's like a vapor, essentially, of, like, emotion, which is crazy. And I think. I mean, I think a lot of it lies within, like, the performance aspect. I think, like, a good performance is, like, really what brings that feeling. It's really hard. I think it's really hard to try and understand what it is that, like, is so powerful and what affects us. I have no idea. I have no right.
Alexandra Savior
Like, what produces that euphoria or those endorphins or that excitement. And, you know, obviously, when you're, when you're making songs, do you get that feeling when you hear it? Is that how, you know, oh, this is good. You know, when you hear it back to yourself?
Trey Farrow
Yeah. It kind of feels like, for me, like, writing songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like when you get that, like, last piece, things click. Everything makes sense, and you're like, I, I, I won the game. I finished. You know, I don't know. It feels, like, exhilarating.
Alexandra Savior
I'm a song master. Yeah, I love that. That's really cool. And. And it really is subjective if you think about it. So for you to. To have that reaction, and now that you've had some success and a couple hundred million downloads, nothing too shabby on Spotify alone. I mean, that obviously means you've hit on the right note, but I just wondered if you ever thought what exactly it was about it that resonated. Was it.
Trey Farrow
You know, I literally have no idea. I can't even believe it. And it's very confusing.
Alexandra Savior
I. All right, well, let me unconfuse you and ask you a couple of quick, quick questions before I let you go, because I really appreciate your time. I know you're busy. One is, what song or any song by any artist that. I think you may have answered this in the beginning. That never fails to lift your spirits.
Trey Farrow
Oh, wow. What song?
Alexandra Savior
That always makes you feel happy. Like, the minute you put it on, your whole attitude changes.
Trey Farrow
I think Kathy's song by Salmon and Garfunkel is my, like, cool shivers and. And, like, I feel nostalgia. And I just think, yeah, beautiful, beautiful song. Wow.
Alexandra Savior
You're an old soul, especially musically. And the last question is, if you could collaborate with any artist, living or not alive, who would it be? And what kind of song would you want to create together?
Trey Farrow
That's a good question. I think about this a lot. I want to say Leonard Cohen because I also wish that then he would somehow fall in love with me and he would get married.
Alexandra Savior
How sweet. That's so sweet. I love that.
Trey Farrow
Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
Just go right to the top.
Trey Farrow
I guess I would. I would say. I don't. I don't know what kind of song it would be, but if it would eventually lead to love, that would be really fun. And then I wouldn't want to. It's. I wouldn't want to collaborate with another singer. So it's really hard because I would never dare. I mean, Leonard's a singer, but I don't know. I guess that's my answer.
Alexandra Savior
You could do harmony, though.
Trey Farrow
Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
Well, Alexandra Savior, it has been such a pleasure to have you on the show and to talk to you and to hear. Hear your stories. And I'm so excited for your. For your new release. Beneath the Lily Pad is what it's called. And. And the first single out is the Mothership. Or is it Unforgivable?
Trey Farrow
Unforgivable is the first one. Yeah.
Alexandra Savior
Awesome. Well, you will not be disappointed. And if you get a chance to see her perform live, Whoa. The music is one thing, but then if you're in the room with it happening, it's a whole other level. So hopefully you'll check her out and hopefully you'll come back and visit us again soon.
Trey Farrow
Yeah, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me.
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Trey Farrow
This is an Iheart podcast.
Podcast Information:
In this insightful episode of the "Music Saved Me" podcast, hosted by Lynne Hoffman, listeners are introduced to Alexandra Savior, a Portland-born singer-songwriter renowned for her haunting atmospheric sound. Described as a "once in a lifetime artist," Alexandra shares her journey through the tumultuous music industry, battling personal and professional challenges, and harnessing the healing power of music.
Alexandra Savior's musical journey began at a young age when she was discovered by Courtney Love at just 17 years old after posting a cover song online. This early discovery catapulted her into the music industry, where she navigated both the high euphoria of major label deals and the struggles of maintaining creative independence.
Notable Quote:
"Welcome to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explore the transformative power of music through the stories of artists who have found solace, strength, and inspiration in their craft." – Alexandra Savior [02:53]
A pivotal moment in Alexandra's life was her hospitalization due to mental illness and psychosis. Music became her refuge, helping her understand her experiences and aiding her recovery process. She emphasizes how songwriting served as a therapeutic tool, allowing her to articulate emotions that were otherwise difficult to express.
Notable Quote:
"Writing songs really helped me learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and what that experience was like because it's so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it." – Alexandra Savior [04:48]
Over the years, Alexandra's relationship with music has remained deeply emotional. From her teenage years to her latest work, she has consistently used music as an outlet for her feelings. While her approach to songwriting has matured, the core purpose of evoking emotion and connecting with her own experiences remains unchanged.
Notable Quote:
"Emotionally, I don't think it's changed very much. It's always been about evoking emotion or connecting to my feelings." – Alexandra Savior [07:02]
Alexandra discusses the importance of honesty in her music. Although she initially challenged herself to embed hidden meanings within her lyrics, she acknowledges that her songs resonate broadly because they allow listeners to find their own meanings and connections.
Notable Quote:
"I really want people to connect with it within their own experiences and feel like it's for them." – Alexandra Savior [11:14]
The latest album, "Beneath the Lily Pad," marks a period of significant vulnerability for Alexandra. She delayed its release for five years to ensure she was ready to share her most personal work. This patience reflects her commitment to authenticity and emotional healing.
Notable Quote:
"Being kind to yourself and allowing time to heal and strengthen your wounds is really important." – Alexandra Savior [12:52]
Alexandra expresses surprise at the extent of her impact on listeners' mental health. While she is aware of her influence within her personal circle, she recognizes that the broader impact of her openness and authenticity may become more evident as her music reaches larger audiences.
Notable Quote:
"I have no idea how many people even listen to my music, let alone how they're affected by it." – Alexandra Savior [22:12]
When asked about advice for young artists, Alexandra emphasizes the importance of staying true to one's instinct. While being influenced by other musicians is beneficial, she encourages artists to allow their unique identity to shine through their work.
Notable Quote:
"Being influenced by other musicians is great, but don't push too much against your instinct." – Alexandra Savior [24:28]
The COVID-19 pandemic significantly influenced Alexandra's creative process. Recording during this period felt eerie and isolating, leading her to create music that reflects the altered energy and solitude experienced during lockdowns.
Notable Quote:
"The energy levels are similar to where we were—all being alone in our houses." – Alexandra Savior [27:22]
Alexandra shares her favorite uplifting song, "Kathy's Song" by Simon & Garfunkel, highlighting its nostalgic and emotional resonance. She also expresses a heartfelt desire to collaborate with Leonard Cohen, envisioning a harmonious and love-infused musical partnership.
Notable Quotes:
"Kathy's Song" by Simon & Garfunkel is my cool shivers and nostalgia." – Alexandra Savior [31:43]
"I would love to collaborate with Leonard Cohen and maybe fall in love and get married." – Alexandra Savior [32:18]
The episode concludes with Alexandra expressing gratitude for her time and sharing enthusiasm for her new release, "Beneath the Lily Pad." Lynne Hoffman encourages listeners to experience Alexandra's live performances, emphasizing the profound connection forged through her music.
Notable Quote:
"You will not be disappointed. And if you get a chance to see her perform live... it's a whole other level." – Alexandra Savior [33:02]
"Writing songs really helped me learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and what that experience was like because it's so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it." – Alexandra Savior [04:48]
"Emotionally, I don't think it's changed very much. It's always been about evoking emotion or connecting to my feelings." – Alexandra Savior [07:02]
"I have no idea how many people even listen to my music, let alone how they're affected by it." – Alexandra Savior [22:12]
"Being influenced by other musicians is great, but don't push too much against your instinct." – Alexandra Savior [24:28]
"Kathy's Song" by Simon & Garfunkel is my cool shivers and nostalgia." – Alexandra Savior [31:43]
"I would love to collaborate with Leonard Cohen and maybe fall in love and get married." – Alexandra Savior [32:18]
This episode of "Music Saved Me" offers a profound exploration of Alexandra Savior's relationship with music, illustrating how it serves as both a sanctuary and a tool for personal growth. Through her candid conversations, listeners gain valuable insights into the resilience required to thrive in the music industry while maintaining authenticity and emotional well-being.