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Takin' A Walk - Music History with Buzz Knight
Music Saved Me: Phil Vassar and the Saving Grace of Music
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- [00:00]
Podcast Host
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [00:04]
Phil Vassar
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Lynn Hoffman
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Phil Vassar
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Podcast Host
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Phil Vassar
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Lynn Hoffman
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Phil Vassar
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Lynn Hoffman
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- [03:00]
Phil Vassar
Music saved me and you know, some of my heroes like Merle Haggard and I mean, I got to meet these guys and hang out with them and, and love them, you know, they were just like my friends and, and as a young songwriter, they were, they were very, very supportive.
- [03:17]
Lynn Hoffman
Hello, I'm Lynn Hoffman and on today's episode of Music Saved Me, we welcome a true country music powerhouse, Phil Vassar. Now, for more than 25 years, Phil's heartfelt songwriting and energetic performances have made him a beloved figure in the world of country music. With hits like Just Another Day in Paradise, one of my favorite music videos, and American Child resonating with fans across generations, he has racked up 10 number one hits, 27 top 40 songs, nine albums. As well as being an award winning singer songwriter, he's writing hit songs for artists like Alan Jackson, Tim McGraw, Jody Messina, and since we're talking about about awards, I read he even won a best actor award in the Long Island International Film Festival. This man is a triple threat and he's known for his signature piano driven country sound, blending heartfelt storytelling with infectious melodies. Today, Phil shares his remarkable journey of survival, gratitude and resilience and talks to us about the songs that carried him through his darkest moments, the faith and community that lifted him up, and how his near death experiences have given new meaning to every lyric he writes and every note he he plays. Phil Vassar, welcome to Music Saved Me. It is wonderful to have you on the show.
- [04:34]
Phil Vassar
How you doing, Lyn? Thanks for having me.
- [04:37]
Podcast Host
Well, thank you for being here.
- [04:38]
Lynn Hoffman
And you know, I read I want to talk to you about the personal connection to music and, and how it helped you to heal. But first, I was reading a little something about your past. You're known for your obviously incredible piano playing, but I read you actually started your love affair with music on a guitar, which I did. So how did that end up switching and was it always country music and how did you figure that connection out?
- [05:03]
Phil Vassar
You know, it was always just music. I, I think, you know, back, back then, I mean, of course my dad was in music and he loved to sing and do all these things. So it was, you know, set on my doorstep, you know, when I was young, you know, and. And I started playing guitar a little bit and. But then great aunts passed away and. And gave us this piano and brought it over to the house and. And it's an old 1800s upright piano. It's really cool. And I still have that in a warehouse somewhere in Virginia somewhere. But. But I just fell in love with the piano and I mean, I. It's just. I just love it. And of course, in Nashville, everybody's like, well, you know, you're a piano player, you're never going to do anything here. So, I mean, it was. I kept getting that over and over again and even from record labels, from, of course from publishing companies and of course, you know, it doesn't matter what you write on, you know, whatever. Just took me a while. So I couldn't really get a deal. I finally got a publishing deal and then I was, you know, I was just sort of frustrated. So I started playing live and I had this great following, you know, I had a great, great live following. All these record labels and Tim McGraw and Jody Messina, all these people would come into my bar. Alan Jackson, even, even the, the publishing companies and the record label started coming into. Because it was packed and, you know, you just couldn't get in. It was one of those things where it was. I sort of. I. I really was really blessed because, you know, starting my own bar and. And it was just. I was. It was. I don't know, it worked, you know.
- [06:57]
Lynn Hoffman
And what was the name of the bar?
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Phil Vassar
It was called the Hard Days. Hard Days Nightclub. And because I was a. I'm a big Beatles fan and anyway, so it was, it was great and.
- [07:12]
Lynn Hoffman
And you proved them wrong because you went into country music with a piano. So I did.
- [07:18]
Phil Vassar
And then, you know, then all these. Then Jody or whoever would. Messina would come in the. In my bar or whatever. Man. Who did that Bye Bye song or who did I'm All Right or, you know, and then 30, you know, my next 30 years, all these songs my McGraw recorded and, and it was, it was an interesting time. And it was a. It was like I struggled for so long and then it was just like a windfall, you know. And so I just was really. And then all the record labels wanted to give me a record deal. You need to do a record. I'm like, I've been trying to do a record for 20 years. And you're. And even, you know, now you. Me to do a record or 15 years or whatever it was, and. But I couldn't wait. I was glad. And then, of course, you know, Carlene came out just on the. In paradise, and it was a. It was a big hit hit record. And. And, you know, so it's been, you know, 25 years of this craziness, you know, so it's been great.
- [08:16]
Lynn Hoffman
I think it's amazing that you. You proved everybody wrong and that you were vindicated with. With wanting to make the album. Because there's not. There's no better feeling than that, especially when you'. Heart. Because everything's so subjective. You're right, Phil. Can you share a time in your life when music truly saved you and helped you through a difficult moment or gave you hope when you needed it most?
- [08:41]
Phil Vassar
Well, I mean, when I had my heart attack, you know, I could always find solace and just walking over to the piano and playing music, even when in the craziest times, you know, the worst times. But I always think of that was the worst of times. It was the best of times, you know, that. That. That stuff, you know, but it really was. It was. It just blew up and it finally. Everybody kind of got it. It was like everybody got the joke right. And then I just started having hits and hits and hits and hits and. And, you know, some of my hero, like Alan Jackson and, you know, some of my dear friends. Dear friends, you know, Kenny Chesney and. And then. And Tim McGraw and. I mean, it was just. It was something. Colin Ray and I. I just, you know, a lot of great things happened. I mean, a lot of things didn't happen, you know, but. But I finally got what I always wanted, and that was a record deal and. And got a chance to tour and. And that's my favorite. You know, playing live is always going to be my favorite. I do love to write songs, and, you know, it can be tenuous. You know, it know, songwriting, especially if you're, you know, you. You get stuck on a song. Some songs you write, it takes years to write it, you know, and some. And. And. But I always found that the biggest. My biggest hits, I always wrote in 20 or 30 minutes. You know, it was just always that interesting. It's like, that's okay. This is. This is it. My next 30 years. I mean, I couldn't even write it fast enough. You know, it was. You know, it was my birthday, right? My 30th birthday. I was like, man, wow. You know, so it's like certain things kind of give you a jolt emotionally and. And you know, just in A Day in paradise was one of those songs too. You know, we, we wrote that. Me and my buddy Craig Wiseman wrote that song together and, and we wrote it in so fast and you know, but it was one of those things where we, you know, it was we, we. I almost didn't get there. I mean it was one of those days, you know, I had a, a house emergency like I always do because I have, you know, 103 year old houses, you know, and. Which I love, I love that. But you know, it's, it's a labor of love and, but the songs were great and, and I had some incredible co writers, you know, that I, I loved and a very small group, right, but they were my best friends and I've lost some of those guys in the last five years and it's been, I'm still heartbroken about it, you know, and, and, but it's, it's been a, it's been a crazy time.
- [11:23]
Lynn Hoffman
Well, you know, during, during some of those times that were a little bit more on the difficult side going through. Did your relationship with music ever change?
- [11:33]
Phil Vassar
I don't know if my relationship with music ever changed him. You know, I, I think once again I would always. I loved like the Eagles, I love the, you know, Glenn Fry and, and you know, Don Henley and, and I loved like bands like Queen. You know, be me back. I always go, went back and listened to the Beatles records and some of my favorite songs and, and you know, it was just, it was, it was amazing, you know, but I think music always got me through tough times. I found that and you know, some of my heroes like Merle Haggard and I mean I got to meet these guys and, and hang out with them and, and love them. You know, they were just like my friends and, and as a young songwriter they were, they were very, very supportive. And I said, man, you just gotta stop listening to those, you know, those or whatever. You know, they would, they would always tell me that, you know, look, you gotta listen to you. He said, you're great, so you're great and you, you gotta start believing in yourself, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it was really, it just, it was, it just touched me in my soul, right? So I just said, look, this is, I like this. I don't care if you like it. I like it. And, and, and I had a great following and you know, audiences would come in and hear me do my own song. They'd hear me do I'm All Right, they'd hear me do Bye Bye. They'd hear me do all these songs and everybody hate them. In town, The. The publishers, they hated them and. And ended up. Once they got out, they were huge number one songs. And. And you know what? It was. It was good to kind of. There you go. Yeah, exactly. And it was. It was a great time. And you know what? You can't blame people for being stupid. They just are sometimes.
- [13:26]
Lynn Hoffman
You know, many of your songs are. Are deeply personal, as you just mentioned some of the names of them, and. But they're also super relatable. Do you find that songwriting is a form of therapy or an emotional relationship?
- [13:38]
Phil Vassar
Absolutely. When I swear, I think it's for me, it is, you know, for. For anybody good songwriter that. I mean, you know, I was going through a breakup. I was going through a divorce when I wrote Bye Bye. I mean, just stuff like that, you know, it was just, you know. You know, relationships are hard, and we all have. We all have them, and they're very hard sometimes and they still are. But, you know, you just. You just kind of try to. I don't know, I could vent with my words and my songs, you know, and I could do that. And that was. I don't know. It was. It was. I saved my money. I saved a lot of money on therapy. I think I did, just by. Just by writing songs and making money instead of spending it, you know?
- [14:26]
Lynn Hoffman
Yeah. And. And a lot of times, people don't know exactly who you're writing about and if it's someone else that you're observing or yourself. But you. You put a lot of yourself into your music. Now, the Music Saved Me podcast is about bringing conversations about mental health, you know, out of the shadows through music and the healing power of music. And also, I think, through these conversations, too, realizing that we're all more alike than we are different. And I'm just curious how you've approached mental health practices in your own life. And has music always played a role in your journey in terms of working through things that happen to you? Because life is 90 or 10% what happens to you. 90% how you deal with it.
- [15:08]
Phil Vassar
Exactly. And I think. I think yes. And in a lot of ways, I mean, I have. You know, my therapy is my writing, my songs. Sometimes I can just. I mean, the saddest songs, you know, I've ever. Rose Bouquet on my first record, I still listen to it, and it just, like, it tears me up because it's like, it was so emotional writing, you know, song like that about a relationship, a breakup, a divorce is what I was going. And, and some. You go through all these emotions, you're so upset when it's new. And, and then by Bye Bye, you know, Bye Bye is a song where I was finally just pissed off and it was like, you know, it was kind of a kiss my ass kind of song. And, and, and you know, it's just, it's very therapeutic, you know, to, to deal with it in that way instead of, you know, you know, you want to strangle somebody, but that's not a good idea.
- [16:02]
Lynn Hoffman
No, no. Strangling the pen with your fingers is probably smart.
- [16:05]
Phil Vassar
That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it.
- [16:07]
Lynn Hoffman
Or the piano. Strangle the piano.
- [16:09]
Phil Vassar
I beat some pianos to death. I tell you that. That's. They've.
- [16:12]
Lynn Hoffman
Well, hopefully not the one that your grandm.
- [16:17]
Phil Vassar
It's a, it's a beautiful piano. I'm trying. I've got to get it, you know, redone. It's, it's a beautiful old piano and, and you know, but I have, I mean, look, I mean, I've got, I've got grand pianos in my bedroom, in my living. I mean, I've got. Wow. But yeah, I mean, I, I would write. I mean, I'm very, very add. I'm way better now since I had a heart attack, I can be honest with you. But I have a lot more patience and, and, and all that. But I think, you know, for me, from, you know, I've got one over here, I've got one over here. I've got one in my bedroom, I've got one in my barn. It's like I have different places I can go to, to sort of vent and.
- [17:02]
Lynn Hoffman
Yeah.
- [17:02]
Phil Vassar
And it's, it's cool that way, you know, but I, I, I'm very thankful that I, that I have an outlet like that, you know, I mean, working out has definitely been one of my outlets and, and you know, that worked out every day. Every day. Every day. And then had a heart attack and d. It's weird, you know, and, and you know, you don't know that you're genetically flawed. You know, those things don't really rear their ugly head until it's, it's too late. And, but it was, it was actually did survive it and, and now I'm very grateful and I think of life differently, you know. Yeah.
- [17:41]
Lynn Hoffman
And I love your idea of basically putting a piano in every room, so no matter where you turn, you're inspired and it may be a different setting as. I'm just curious though, have you ever Felt pressured. You know, you're a celebrity and you're out there and a public figure. Have you ever felt pressured to hide any of the struggles that you've had in life? And how have you overcome it if you, if you did feel that pressure?
- [18:06]
Phil Vassar
Well, you know, I think, you know, whenever you're. You air your dirty laundry in front of a. You know, a lot of people would hear about, you know, you're. I was going through divorce or going through this, this, going through that, you know, and it's always. It's always hard. You know, it's hard. It's always hard to. I mean, it's hard to face it anyway. But then you have people coming at you and asking you questions and this and that and, and, you know, I think for me, honestly, I would sit in a room, dark room, my bedroom or my. Whatever, my barn or wherever I'd go. I always had a place that I could. Could talk about things. And my songwriters are my therapists, you know, if I would write with. They're my, not just my. They're my best friends and they're my deep. And I've lost a lot, A lot of those guys in the last three or four, five years, you know, and, and, And I miss them. You know, I miss them because I, I had a real, like, Merle Haggard and you think about and Charlie Black and some of these guys that I, I, they were my. I don't know, they're almost my songwriter, soulmate kind of guys, and we had such a great run. You know, we had a lot of hits together and, and, and, you know, we changed each. That's what. Friends really help. You do that, you know?
- [19:30]
Lynn Hoffman
Yeah, they do. They sure do. And speaking of friends, not that all of your fans are personal friends, but I've read that you really thrive on having a connection with your fans, and it's really important to you. Actually, I believe the words were extremely important to you. Why is the connection with you and your fans so important?
- [19:49]
Phil Vassar
Well, I just think I learned a lot from them. I get a lot of. I get a lot of feedback. Positive, negative, all of it, you know, and, and, you know, sometimes you don't want to hear it, but it's not just your fans, but it's like they're like your family in a way. And I never had a big family, you know, I have my mother still and, and my two sisters, and so it was never very big family, you know, and I lost my dad young, you know, so I think you just, I don't know you find your people, you know, in the world. Yeah, and it was, for me, it was my writers and, and, you know, you got people you can really. You can talk to and cry with or, you know, whenever you're going through a. A situation. And, and I did a lot through, you know, divorce and, and marriage and death and all these things that I've, you know, I've had to, you know, go through life and that's part of life and, you know, but you, you find folks that, that sort of help you get through that, that's for sure.
- [21:00]
Lynn Hoffman
How old were you when your dad passed?
- [21:02]
Phil Vassar
Well, it was before any of my hits. Before, you know, he was always, you know, I mean, I thought my dad was. He was tough, you know, and, but, and of course, moving to Nashville to be a songwriter, you just need to, you need to get a job and do this and that and.
- [21:19]
Lynn Hoffman
Oh, he didn't think you were going to make it work. He had no, but, you know, he didn't. Yeah.
- [21:23]
Phil Vassar
Yeah, he was a singer and he wanted to. I mean, I think, I think ultimately when my dad passed away, I went to, to the house and to where my dad was living, and then. And he had a cassette tape of my music playing, so he was listening to it. So, you know, I think, I think he was proud. I really do. I think he, you know, he. He had a messed up childh. You know, we all come from somewhere and sometimes it's not very pleasurable, you know, let's just say that's for sure.
- [21:55]
Lynn Hoffman
Yeah, we are.
- [21:57]
Phil Vassar
You know, and I think that's true. Right.
- [21:59]
Lynn Hoffman
Well, again, that's the reason why I love doing the show because, you know, you always find out how much we all do really have in common with each other, more than we ever would know. How does it make your. How does it make your. You feel when your fans really. I mean, when you're this source of comfort and healing for them with your music?
- [22:19]
Phil Vassar
Well, it's awesome. I, you know, you. You have a relationship with them, and I've had a 25, 30 year relationship with a lot of these folks that I've known for years and years. And, and it's very. It's comforting to know that you have those folks, too, and I depend on them more than they know. Right. You know, and, and, you know, the music business is brutal. It's really br. It's hard when you, you write something, you pour your heart into something, even like 30 years. I mean, some of the biggest hits I've ever had, they were like that Song will never make it. Nobody wants to hear about turning 30, you know, that's a music guy, you know, and of course, I've gotten to tell all these guys to kiss off at some point, and, And. Which has been great, you know, when. When you.
- [23:04]
Lynn Hoffman
Well, but that's because you kept going because you kept. You didn't let them stop you from your dream. And that. That's a huge part of it, though, because a lot of people get that said to them, and then they just give up.
- [23:15]
Phil Vassar
I know. And they turn. They turn their life, you know, you can't. You can't listen to people. You know, you got to listen to people that you love and you trust, you know, And. And that's why sometimes, like when my dad was like, you, you don't need to go to n. I mean, I think he was proud, but it was hard for him to let go, and I think he knew how tough it was. He said, I don't want you to go through that. In. In his way. That was. You know, of course, my mother has. Was always my biggest fan. Right. You know, and. And. And having your mother and that. They've always been there, too. It's been great. And, you know, it's. You just learn to take. Take advice from people that really count, you know, that, that. You know, it's good to take that, take, listen, take it, then do your. Then make your decision. Right.
- [24:08]
Lynn Hoffman
That's so smart. That's very, very smart. I. I just. Just like you. Everybody told me, you don't want to get in. You got to be a doctor or a lawyer or you don't want to get into the radio and television, all that. It's so difficult. And I think thought, you know what that's like lighting a fire under my ass to prove them wrong, you know, and that was it.
- [24:27]
Phil Vassar
That's it.
- [24:28]
Lynn Hoffman
So even the ones that love you help you, but in ways that you wouldn't expect. Right?
- [24:32]
Phil Vassar
And that is inspiring when people tell. I mean, I think just proving people wrong is sort of. Is its own, you know, force. I knew every day, I knew I was doing something right when people would come to my club and you couldn't get in. You know, you couldn't even. You know, you tried, and it was. We were succeeding. You know, I was. I was doing that. One of my buddies is a. Of course, an Italian chef, but he had. He ran the restaurant, and I did the club, and we'd have Steve Winwood and Donna Summers. I mean, all these guys would come into my bar, and that was way back in the day, you know, and before I was, before I'd made it as a writer or an artist. And they came and they were, they were supportive and they were so great. And, you know, Nashville was just a really, really cool. And I just knew I made the right decision, you know, and I was in the right place.
- [25:28]
Podcast Host
Yeah, you are.
- [25:29]
Phil Vassar
And I still, I still know dad.
- [25:30]
Lynn Hoffman
Is smiling down on you like my dad. I know now that they, you know. Yeah, they raised us right. I could talk to you for hours longer. But I want to say thank you for all the, the charitable stuff you do with Musicians on Call. I know you, you go to the hospitals and play for people and you're very giving in that way. And so we love, love Musicians on Call. We, we've worked with them as well. So thank you for that. Thank you for all you're doing. Good luck with everything in the future. Thank you and thank you for coming on Music. Save me and, and, and please come back.
- [26:05]
Phil Vassar
I will. Anytime, anytime. I, I, I love doing it and this has been fun today, so, you know, anytime you want me.
- [26:13]
Lynn Hoffman
All right. Sounds like, well, don't say that because I'm going to call you.
- [26:15]
Phil Vassar
Well, come on.
- [26:16]
Lynn Hoffman
All right. Thank you. Thank you so much, Phil.
- [26:19]
Phil Vassar
Absolutely. And thank you. Thank you.
- [26:27]
Podcast Host
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- [27:55]
Phil Vassar
Made from plants and sizzles on a grill.
- [27:59]
Lynn Hoffman
Impossible.
- [28:00]
Phil Vassar
Feels virtuous and tastes reckless.
- [28:03]
Lynn Hoffman
Impossible.
- [28:05]
Phil Vassar
Easy to pick up and hard to put down.
- [28:08]
Lynn Hoffman
Impossible.
- [28:10]
Phil Vassar
Yeah, it is. Burgers, hot dogs and chicken. Everything you want from meat. Without the stuff you don't all flavor, no trade offs.
- [28:18]
Lynn Hoffman
It's impossible.
- [28:20]
Phil Vassar
Purchase impossible products at your local grocery store today.
- [28:25]
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- [29:03]
Lynn Hoffman
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- [29:09]
Phil Vassar
You won't find anywhere else.
- [29:10]
Lynn Hoffman
Things like student teacher ratio, test scores and school programs.
- [29:15]
Phil Vassar
And sometimes that requires attending school recitals. So many recitals. That's my size.
- [29:25]
Podcast Host
Isn't he terrific?
- [29:26]
Phil Vassar
Yeah, a real prodigy. Homes.com we've done your homework.
- [29:31]
Podcast Host
This is an I Heart podcast.