C03 - Ep. 04 - Mission Through Middrus - Courtége is Now in Session

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon Episode C03 - Ep. 04: "Mission Through Middrus - Courtége is Now in Session" Release Date: November 13, 2024

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1. Introduction to the Mission

The episode kicks off with the Dungeon Master (Gustavo Sorola) setting the stage for the adventurers. The party comprises four friends, each embodying unique characters within the D&D universe, embarking on a quest assigned by the Magistrate to investigate mysterious occurrences in Middrus.

2. Entering the Cell Chamber

At [03:20], Gustavo introduces the session with a dramatic flair:

"For this putrid party, I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow." – Gustavo Sorola [03:20]

This initiation leads the players into a dimly lit circular chamber adorned with six iron cells. As they acclimate to their surroundings, Gustavo prompts a character warm-up focusing on their fears, submitted by a listener.

3. Character Philosophies and Phobias

Barbara Dunkelman, playing Doug Boone, the bugbear artificer, introduces her character’s claustrophobia:

"Doug is a pretty big guy. He's a little bit kind of weary of small tight spaces because there's a possibility he won't come out the other end." – Jack Patillo [07:28]

Micah Solusod’s character, Tolv, a male orc barbarian, shares his fear of machines underwater, termed "sub mechanophobia":

"I fear my phobia is called sub mechanophobia. It's like the fear of machines and things under the water." – Micah Solusod [04:32]

These insights add depth to the characters, highlighting their vulnerabilities and backgrounds.

4. Exploring the Cells

The party begins their exploration of the chamber. Natty Wonder, played by John Risinger, investigates a cell and discovers two skeletons adorned with rings:

"And the two skeletons are adorned with rings across their entire body instead of clothes. One wears a ring made of pearl and the other is adorned with rings made of ebony." – Gustavo Sorola [26:27]

The plaques above the cells list various crimes such as perjury, piracy, sedition, and bankruptcy, suggesting a theme of judicial punishment gone awry.

5. Encounter with Demongrals

As the adventurers delve deeper, two feral, demon-like dogs, referred to as Demongral curs, charge into the room. Tyler Coe’s character, Gunther, attempts to pacify them by offering food:

"Gunther, you hold out some rations and some food, and they seem very intent on that. They begin focusing on eating the food." – Gustavo Sorola [53:36]

This act showcases Gunther’s attempt at mercy, contrasting with other players’ more aggressive instincts.

6. Unveiling Mysteries and Puzzles

Natty Wonder stumbles upon a locked exit guarded by golden vertical bars. Using a key found earlier, she unlocks the gate, resulting in the transformation of the bars into gold pieces:

"You put the key in the keyhole, and it turns with a click. The gold bars disappear and instead turn into 15 gold pieces that fall to the ground at your feet." – Gustavo Sorola [68:38]

Further exploration leads to the discovery of a silver chalice encrusted with rubies and an iron cryptix puzzle box. Micah Solusod ingeniously solves the cryptix by whispering the word "ice":

"And then I whisper something... 'ICE.' ... The Cryptix open." – Tyler Coe [93:17]

This quick resolution of the puzzle marks a pivotal moment, propelling the party forward in their quest.

7. Confronting Inner Demons and Redemption

During their investigation, the characters experience visions tied to their fears and backstories. Doug Boone envisions his brother's demise, reflecting his fear of failure:

"You did this, Doug. This is your fault and I will never forgive you." – Tolv [16:38]

These personal confrontations add emotional depth, highlighting the internal struggles each character faces.

8. Advancing Through Hidden Passages

With newfound items and clues, the party navigates through additional rooms interconnected by chasms and hidden exits. Barbara Dunkelman’s Doug tinkers with items to illuminate dark areas:

"I will use the blue pebble to help us see in here." – Barbara Dunkelman [22:27]

This strategic use of resources aids their exploration, revealing more about the chamber’s structure and the Magistrate’s influence.

9. Cliffhanger and Next Steps

As the party continues to uncover the chamber’s secrets, they encounter additional bodies and magical items, hinting at deeper conspiracies within Middrus. The session concludes with the party poised to explore further:

"Maybe we should try the west. Just in case there's more demongrals to the east." – Blaine Gibson [59:52]

With a blend of discovery, combat, and character development, the adventurers set the stage for the next episode, promising more thrilling encounters and revelations.

Notable Quotes and Insights

• "You know, they are evil creatures." – Tyler Coe as Gunther [60:32]

  Highlights the players’ moral dilemmas when encountering the Demongrals.

• "All gifts are magic. For Doug." – Blaine Gibson [25:40]

  Reflects the camaraderie and lighthearted interactions amidst tense exploration.

• "I have some types of tools, but I don't know if we should be opening." – Jack Patillo as Private Kanjunos [46:10]

  Emphasizes the cautious approach the adventurers take when dealing with unknown elements.

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Conclusion In "Mission Through Middrus - Courtége is Now in Session," Tales from the Stinky Dragon delves deep into a labyrinthine investigation filled with mystical puzzles, ethical challenges, and character-driven narratives. The episode masterfully balances humor and tension, offering listeners an engaging and immersive D&D experience ripe with intrigue and camaraderie. As the adventurers inch closer to unraveling the Magistrate’s secrets, anticipation builds for the unfolding saga in subsequent episodes.

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Disclaimer: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's narrative and key moments.

Transcript

[Gus Sorola]

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[Blaine Gibson]

Bada bada Boom. Sold.

[Chris Damaris]

Huh? Just sold my car on Carvana. Dropping it off and getting paid today already.

[Gus Sorola]

What? You still haven't sold yours?

[Chris Damaris]

You told me about it months ago.

[Blaine Gibson]

I just.

[Chris Damaris]

Is the offer good?

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, the offer's great.

[John Risinger]

Don't have another car yet.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I could trade it in for this car I love.

[Chris Damaris]

Come on, what are we waiting for?

[Blaine Gibson]

Ah, you're right. Let's go. Whether you're looking to sell your car.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Right now or just whenever feels right.

[Blaine Gibson]

Go to Carvana.com and sell your car the convenient way. Terms and conditions apply. Film. Motion pictures. Cinema. If you like those words. And you'll love our Patreon exclusive podcast called Stinky Pop. Just go over to stinkydragonpod.com to show your support and you can watch me, John Risinger and the rest of the Stinky Dragon team talk about a different movie each episode. Watch along with us as we talk about our favorite films. And do not forget, we have tons of other awesome exclusive content for our patrons. So once Again, go visit stinkydragonpod.com to sign up today.

[John Risinger]

Compliments to all you canopic golems. Unwrap yourselves into the Stinky Dragon and lap up our latest libation, Soccer Mummy. It's a mixture of orange spliced tea, melon sized heads, deflect Powerade entrails, sauce packets and rice crystal treats. One sip of this sacrilegious sauce and your mouth will be ajar. For centuries previously, our adventurers found themselves in a fiery Fort Endridge Fighting day mongrels to the death. But after vanquishing these varmints, they discovered the Colonel was a counterfeit called the Magistrate who escaped underground. They doused the fort's flames and cut loose a Captive Colonel Boyi. And now they're on a mission for the magistrate. Nab some nectar and nestle in for a noxious narrative.

[Chris Damaris]

Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Sorola. I'm your dungeon master. For this putrid party, I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I do it. I dare you. Ouch.

[Chris Damaris]

Question for the party. Little roleplay and warmup question. Does your character have a phobia? And this question was submitted by Spork.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Before we get into this, I have to point out Micah's doing the intros this season. And he did the intro just now and flubbed a little bit here and there. And I could see a tiny little smirk on Gus's face is like, now you know what I have to deal with?

[Chris Damaris]

The reason. The reason I was smirking is when I got the module, I was reading over it and I rehearsed the intro a few times and I was like, canopic, Canopic. I was like, oh, wait, I don't have to read this.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It'll obviously be beautiful and wonderful in the final product. But it was just funny to see I was like, Gus being like, you see my pain?

[John Risinger]

Who's going first? I guess I'll start first.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, who.

[John Risinger]

Wait, who's.

[Micah Solusod]

Never mind.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yoo hoo.

[Micah Solusod]

It's me, Tol. Oh, so good to see you. Hopefully you will not be using this information to find out some sort of secret weakness of mine.

[Chris Damaris]

No, no, no, no, of course not.

[Micah Solusod]

You wouldn't do that, would you? Arrow, fighter, shooter man.

[Chris Damaris]

This is a. Where you have our trust. We're in a circle of trust here. No judgment. We will definitely not put you in a room full of spiders or anything like that.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay, interviewer. I trust you inherently. As I said, my name is Toll. And you know, I used to be a sailor and you know, you encounter a lot of things out on the open seas in the water. And I find that I fear my phobia is called sub mechanophobia. Okay, so that's like, you know, the fear of like machines and things under the water.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, you say that like eight times fast.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah, some mechanophobia. Yeah, just like, you know, I don't want to see any like boats or anything down on the ocean floor. That'd be scary.

[Blaine Gibson]

You know, anybody else sunken or functioning?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's a good question.

[Micah Solusod]

Both. You know, it's just real scary. Nothing that I don't want to see those things under the water.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The vauther.

[Chris Damaris]

Because they shouldn't be there.

[Micah Solusod]

They should not be there. They need to be above the vaughter.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What about like submarines and stuff that are like, meant to be underwater?

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, still scary. Too scary. No, no, Toll doesn't like it. Okay, Doug, you go.

[Blaine Gibson]

I have to say though really quick, Blaine, you have a missed opportunity that we can't fix anymore. What? Because you've started a really great tradition of assigning a specific kind of salutation to your characters and Cyborg never had one. You had, you had hey there, Chip Cheney there Chip Haney here. And you got Yoohoo. And Kyborg didn't have one. I'm sorry, I always thought it was just.

[Micah Solusod]

Sup?

[John Risinger]

I'm Kyborg.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, you would say your name like, hey, I'm Kyborg.

[John Risinger]

Sup, I'm Kyborg.

[Blaine Gibson]

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's what it is.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, I think he's got no time for the introductions, no time for the formalities. It's all Cyborg.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, that's right.

[Chris Damaris]

I did have a follow up question. Yar Blaine. I'm not sure if Tol gave us his class and race. I don't remember.

[Micah Solusod]

That was goodness. I'm so sorry, Mr. Interviewer. I am a male orc barbarian in a level three.

[Chris Damaris]

Ooh. Thank you, Tol.

[Micah Solusod]

Welcome.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

All right, what's up, podcast listeners?

[Chris Damaris]

It's me.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It'S me, it's me on the ones and twos here on the radio show this morning, man, bringing the energy here on this early morning recording. Thank you for tuning in and hello to all of potentially some new stinkers that we have listening as well. Potentially some critters in the chat. What's up, critters?

[Chris Damaris]

Welcome, critters.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'm Barbara Dunkelman. Hello, nice to meet you. And I play Doug Boone, who is the bugbear artificer, also level three.

[Jack Patillo]

And Doug, you know Doug, Doug is very well read and knows a lot of feels are pretty, you know, there's no real. And so he's able to kind of decipher between like what he really should be afraid of and what he really shouldn't based on reality. But Doug does have one specific feel, and that is that he's claustrophobic.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, dear.

[Jack Patillo]

Because Doug is. Doug is a pretty big guy. He's a little bit kind of weary of small tight spaces because there's a possibility he won't come out the other end. And that kind of scales Doug a great deal.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, I see a Venn diagram with the, with the submarines, you know, Me and Doug. No, thank you.

[Jack Patillo]

Doug probably wouldn't see himself in a submarine anytime soon.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, now I want us to do a submarine adventure.

[Chris Damaris]

No, no, we said we wouldn't use these for any nefarious purposes.

[Blaine Gibson]

You know, this doesn't mean it can't have already been written into the future, you know.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, it's true. I was tempted to say Doug had a fear of, like, you know, money and nice cars and. Oh, no.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, terrified.

[Jack Patillo]

And Dad's Doug.

[Tyler Coe]

I'm Chris Damaris.

[Chris Damaris]

Hello.

[Tyler Coe]

Nice to meet you.

[John Risinger]

Well, are you.

[Tyler Coe]

And I play Gunther. He's a croak folk.

[Chris Damaris]

A frog.

[Blaine Gibson]

In other words, you got one in your throat.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, there it is. Yes, yes, yes. Always getting ready for the voice.

[Tyler Coe]

I fear it is Bert.

[Blaine Gibson]

Bert, Bert.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Like Bert and Ernie.

[Blaine Gibson]

Bird, Bird, Bird, Bird, obviously, because as.

[Tyler Coe]

You see, you can be just. You can just be there, anywhere, and then all of a sudden, gone with bird.

[Chris Damaris]

Gone with bird.

[Jack Patillo]

Now I have a question for.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gone for.

[Jack Patillo]

Have you been attacked or picked up by a board in your lifetime?

[Tyler Coe]

No.

[Micah Solusod]

I would like to introduce you to my friend Matid. I think.

[Jack Patillo]

Because, you know, sometimes. Sometimes a way to combat these fears is exposure therapy. And so, you know, maybe, maybe we just find you a nice bird who's willing to, you know, give you a little experience, see if you're still afraid of it after.

[Tyler Coe]

The bird I like is ones that do not fly.

[Chris Damaris]

So like dodos, ostriches, chickens.

[Tyler Coe]

Chickens are good.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, get that on the shirt.

[Blaine Gibson]

Chickens are good.

[Tyler Coe]

I'm a fighter.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, There you go. I wasn't sure. And also level three, I believe.

[Tyler Coe]

Level three.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Fighter three.

[Blaine Gibson]

Am I the only one in this area where that the bird in bug's life might have been one of the most frightening, like, creature events in a movie ever?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

A hundred percent.

[Blaine Gibson]

You remember that bird and like the sound design they did to make it sound like a giant, you know, raptor.

[John Risinger]

It's kind of like the songbird in Bioshock Infinite. A little bit.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. But like they made like a. Literally like just a little sparrow, you know, tiny bird into just the most frightening thing ever that was gonna eat somebody. That sounds like Tov.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, exactly. And they did the whole thing in Bugs Life where they like pretend they made a fake bird to try to scare the grasshopper. Spoiler if you haven't seen Bugs Life.

[Blaine Gibson]

Spoiler. How dare you spoil a bug's life.

[Chris Damaris]

What is that, like a 25 year old, 20 year old movie at this point?

[Blaine Gibson]

Probably at least 20 years old. Yeah, yeah, that's funny.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. 26 years old.

[Blaine Gibson]

Hello, everybody.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Hello, John.

[Blaine Gibson]

I am John Risinger, and I am playing Natty Wonder. Almost said matide because you guys just said mat a second ago, and that was stuck in my head. Natty Wonder, a drow Warlock level three, just like everybody else. And yes, I do have a fear. It's a very serious fear. It actually is a very serious fear. It's a specific part of attichephobia.

[Chris Damaris]

Ooh, I don't know what that is.

[Blaine Gibson]

Attachephobia is a fear of failure. And I'm not scared of failing everything. But you know what I am. I am scared of. I'm scared of failing my son because he needs me to teach him all the things he needs to learn in order to reach his fullest potential. And I don't. If I failed him, I don't know what I would do myself.

[Jack Patillo]

Oh, Natty, you know, that's a really legit feel, and I don't think you, as your mom, could ever fail your son.

[Blaine Gibson]

Well, thank you. Thank you, Doug. I appreciate that.

[Jack Patillo]

No, my mom didn't fail me.

[Chris Damaris]

That's okay, Doug. We're here for you.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther goes and gives Natty a pebble.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, a pebble.

[Blaine Gibson]

Now, now, what's this to be?

[Micah Solusod]

Not sad.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, okay. Well, I will take this in the heart that I think it's being given to me and not see it as just a normal rock. This is special. This is special. I will always. I will never lose this. Okay, Daddy turns around, just tosses it. No, no, no, no.

[Chris Damaris]

Natty, I think you need to put that peb the fridge.

[Blaine Gibson]

No, Natty puts it where. Where she will never lose it, and she stuffs it in her.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Her wig definitely had a different perspective.

[John Risinger]

Of where you were gonna put it.

[Chris Damaris]

So I. I imagine it's like a very smooth pebble. Like a very worn. Worn and very smooth and rounded pebble is what I'm thinking.

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. I'm gonna put that in my inventory. Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

And it's auburn colors. It's just a cool color. It's a cool looking pebble.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Does Gunther collect pebbles?

[Tyler Coe]

Not for me.

[Blaine Gibson]

Wait, is this like when penguins give pebbles? Are we are. Did you think that we're an item now? Is that what this is?

[Micah Solusod]

I do not.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's what he's not afraid of.

[Tyler Coe]

No.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. I was just checking. I want to make sure I understand your culture entirely.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, it's different. Different cultures. You got to make sure you. You understand. I get that.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Explain whispering a flightless so funny to me.

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm so proud of that little. That little flash fact.

[Tyler Coe]

Do you not have gifts?

[Micah Solusod]

Huh?

[Blaine Gibson]

Me? You talking to me?

[Tyler Coe]

Yes.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, no. Oh, no. We. Yeah. Gifts are a thing of my family.

[Chris Damaris]

Yes.

[Jack Patillo]

I've never received a gift before.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, it's getting real sad.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther digs through his pack, goes over and hands another pebble.

[John Risinger]

We haven't even made it to the introductions, and we're already, like, living.

[Blaine Gibson]

Hold on. We got another 30 minutes of Gunther giving pebbles to everybody.

[Chris Damaris]

Rebels all around.

[Tyler Coe]

This is kind of like a dark bluish one.

[Jack Patillo]

Ooh, Is this for me or you're giving. Are you also giving this to Natty?

[Tyler Coe]

If you could please hold this for Natty. Oh, it is for you. You now have gift.

[Jack Patillo]

Really?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

For me? Doug puts it in a very special pocket of his pouch and single little tear sheds from his eye.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Jack Patillo]

Thank you, Gwento.

[Chris Damaris]

Tove, you don't get anything.

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah, I know. That's why I think Gunther was looking at Tove, being like. And he's, like, digging, looking for.

[Chris Damaris]

Here's a stick of gum.

[Micah Solusod]

I'm vast seeing. It's okay. It's okay. We can continue on with the adventure.

[Tyler Coe]

Sorry.

[Chris Damaris]

You all walk out with the leashed Gigi and walk over to the hole that Natty blasted into the ground. What order do y'all want to hop down there in?

[Blaine Gibson]

I'll take lead.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, I was going to say I'm the barbarian. I can do that if you want, but, yeah, go ahead. It seems like Gigi's probably going to get their scent or something.

[Chris Damaris]

Who's after Daddy? I'll go next, Gunther.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

All right, I'll be lost.

[Micah Solusod]

I'll go third.

[Jack Patillo]

I just don't want anybody. Like, if I get stuck, I don't.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Want anyone getting stuck behind me because of your size.

[Jack Patillo]

Yeah, I got you.

[Chris Damaris]

You will hop down and it's. You know, Gunther, it's just like you saw before, where it's like kind of a small chasm here that then widens out into what appears to be a large room at the other end. As you get closer, stifling steam wafts from a vent in the floor of this cavernous chamber. But what stands out the most to you is the sound of water dripping down the metal bars of six iron cells. As you all are taking in the room and wondering what it's all about and what's going on here, each of you has a vision. It's almost like you're seeing something that's not really there. Doug, you see in your vision that you have no mouth. And you're only able to make mumbling sounds. You're holding a rusty hammer and pliers. A machine trembles before you, whistling in pain, louder and louder until it finally explodes. You see your brother clown to the ground like a ragdoll, his clothes stained scarlet. He chokes on his own blood and.

[Micah Solusod]

Says, you did this, Doug. This is your fault and I will never forgive you.

[Chris Damaris]

Gunther, in your vision. Well, your vision is not actually a vision. You're blind. You can't see anything. You feel the grip of your father's sword slip out from your amphibious fingers. It clatters to the ground, and you hear it shatter into countless pieces. In the distance, you hear your parents, Gottfried and Greta, screaming in pain.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gunther.

[Micah Solusod]

The sword.

[Chris Damaris]

Gunther.

[Micah Solusod]

Only the sword can save us.

[Blaine Gibson]

No.

[Chris Damaris]

Maddie. You feel a chain throttling around your neck and searing flames close in on every side. Tears and runny makeup stream down your face. You look. And holding the chain is your son, Mr. Gigglesworth. He's fully grown, and his cold, piercing gaze smolders with resentment.

[Jack Patillo]

No.

[Micah Solusod]

It's too late, Mother. You didn't prepare me enough. You took my ending away from me.

[Chris Damaris]

And now I shall take yours. He pulls the chain and stomps on it with a crack.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[Micah Solusod]

Me next. Me next.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Why do you want one of these?

[Chris Damaris]

Tolv. You see a submarine? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Micah Solusod]

I'm kidding.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm kidding. Told your hands and feet are bound by an infinite coil of rope. Your feet wobble on the edge of a quivering plank with a tempestuous sea of breakers awaiting your plunge. You feel the spikes of a mace prod the small of your back. Wielding the shark tooth weapon is a figure wearing a minotaur horned helmet with a faceplate covering his eyes. It's your captain, Jarl Ironclad.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, Jarl Ironclad.

[Chris Damaris]

You've served your purpose, Tove, but your time was up long ago. You don't belong in this world.

[Micah Solusod]

You'll never be like.

[Chris Damaris]

You only know three things. Blood, rage, and the sea. So that's where I'm sending you. His mace bludges you into the briny depths with a splash.

[Jack Patillo]

No.

[Chris Damaris]

Ironclad.

[Micah Solusod]

Dare you. Ironclad.

[Jack Patillo]

Ironclad.

[Chris Damaris]

The visions fade, and you look around, and before you is the same room you saw before. It's a circular room about 30ft in diameter with 20ft high ceilings. And stifling steam wafts from a vent in the center of the floor. A stone pedestal stands aloft. The far southern end of the Room with a few steps leading up to the bench overlooking the room. And six cells made of iron drip with condensation.

[Micah Solusod]

Ironclad.

[Chris Damaris]

You see that there are two exits? Well, besides the one you came in, there's two additional exits. One to the east and one to the west. And both are similar looking large archways.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Is this the map we should be drawing? Sorry.

[Chris Damaris]

Yes, this absolutely is. Thank you for asking.

[Blaine Gibson]

So we come in from the north?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you came in from the north. And then before you are the. There's everything I Described with the 2 exits. 1 to the east and one to the west.

[Tyler Coe]

Oh, man, I hate when we come in from the north. It makes everything upside down.

[Micah Solusod]

I know.

[John Risinger]

Why does he do this?

[Chris Damaris]

Flip your paper.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, you just draw. Just draw.

[Tyler Coe]

I'm drawing on my hand, Gus.

[John Risinger]

Oh, no, Chris, you're going to run out of real estate real quick there, pal.

[Tyler Coe]

I couldn't find paper.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

He said the exits were east and west.

[Blaine Gibson]

West.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct. And they're both similar looking large archways. The one to the east seems to descend a little bit. The one to the west is on the same level. It does not descend.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, and the cells are. Are they like along the walls or are they.

[Chris Damaris]

It's almost circular around the room.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, is there anybody in the cells or are they empty?

[Chris Damaris]

Let's do this the D and D way. Natty, why don't you make me an investigation check?

[Blaine Gibson]

Sure, hon.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And you said this room is kind of circular?

[Chris Damaris]

Yes, it is a circular room.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's an eight plus two ten. Wait, no. That's an investigation. I did. Insight minus one seven. Sorry.

[Chris Damaris]

There is, you know, like I said, there is a steam vent in the center of the room, which is kind of making it a little difficult to see. It's obscuring your vision a bit. You think that. You do see some bodies in some of these cells.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

But it's hard to make out exactly which ones it's. The steam is in and out.

[John Risinger]

Okay, can Tolv go up to one of the people and see if they can get them out of the cell?

[Chris Damaris]

Uh, yeah.

[Micah Solusod]

My name's Tolv. I'm here to rescue you.

[Chris Damaris]

Shh. Why don't you make me a perception check, Tolv?

[Micah Solusod]

Okey dokey.

[John Risinger]

That is a 11.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. You walk up and you greet the occupant of the cell. And you see that it's just filled with two skeletons.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, skellingtons. Guys, I think we were too late. Probably like a year or two too late.

[Tyler Coe]

We should move like worms.

[Micah Solusod]

Be very quiet.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is that like a dance move? What do we do?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, that was like a break dancing thing.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Micah Solusod]

Cool.

[Tyler Coe]

With no speaking loud.

[Blaine Gibson]

I was speaking loud.

[Gus Sorola]

Like worms.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay. I found Skellington's.

[Chris Damaris]

Very worm.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Like, could I imbue an item with magical tinkering artificial stuff?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. What does that mean? What does that do?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Can I take the blue pebble that Gunther gave me and infuse this item?

[Blaine Gibson]

Just gonna make it explode.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Infuse the item with the ability to have a five foot radius light.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Blaine Gibson]

This little rock of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.

[Jack Patillo]

Hey, Guntos, thank you so much for this pebble. I hope you don't mind. I'm gonna use it to help us see in here. Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And Doug slowly starts tinkering with this item and imbues it with the light.

[Chris Damaris]

What kind of light? Like, how do you envision that being like, what's the color of the light and what does that do exactly?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I imagine it being like a whitish yellow. Kind of like a. Like a typical light bulb you would see in modern day like 4700k. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Risinger]

Okay, so like a temperature.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Maybe a floor. Not. Not quite fluorescent.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah, people that use those in their homes are psychopaths.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And it's like glowing out from the stone in a five foot radius.

[Tyler Coe]

Oh, I did not know it was magic pebble. Oh, my goodness.

[Jack Patillo]

You know, Ganto, all gifts are magic. For dog.

[Blaine Gibson]

For dog.

[Tyler Coe]

You've only had the one, so. Yes, that is true.

[Micah Solusod]

Everyone's enjoying their cool pebbles from Gunther.

[Jack Patillo]

Well, Tove, this pebble is designed to help all of us as a team.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah, sure. Must be nice.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gigi walks up to Tolv. Oh.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, hello, little one. It's your Uncle Tolvin.

[Blaine Gibson]

And he puts his arms up like, you know, like.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, Matty, can I pick up your child?

[Blaine Gibson]

Gigi, it seems that he wants to do something with you.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay, last time this happened, he attacked me, but here we go.

[Blaine Gibson]

Obi Wan.

[Micah Solusod]

Shame on you.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gigi reaches out like, do you pick up Gigi?

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

I absolutely love that. I've already taught you to be trepiditious of this beautiful child. And he like kind of like pulls one of your hands in front of him and like puts it. And then he. He opens up his mouth and he just goes. And like a glob of phlegm drops into your. Into your hand. And he like closes your hand on it so that you hold it and he pushes it back towards your. Your hand towards your chest. And he like, nods his head.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther sees this and nods and smiles.

[Micah Solusod]

I also nod and smile. Thank you, Giggy.

[Blaine Gibson]

And then he does the thing that cats do when they want to be let down and just starts wriggling and, like, scratching at you and that kind of thing.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther goes up and it's like, cherish it.

[John Risinger]

Pats the hand.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I also love that John managed to have another cat like, creature with him.

[Tyler Coe]

This one. This one he planned. He's like, I'm going to have a pet. No matter what, I'm going to pick son.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's my son. It's not a pet.

[Micah Solusod]

So, like, do I get, like, you know, advantage on attack rules or something now, Gus?

[Chris Damaris]

We'll deal with that when it comes up.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay?

[Blaine Gibson]

And Natty pulls Giggy over and goes, that was so nice. That was so nice of you. That's good.

[Chris Damaris]

It's good to teach a child to share.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could while this is happening, Doug, go over and investigate the other cells?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. There's eight around the room. And I'm gonna assume you start with the one closest when you walked in, like, to the northeast. And you work your way around in a clockwise motion. Does that make sense?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah. Are there like, two kind of, like, before the west door and two after the west door, like, basically, like, equidistant?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you imagine them like a circle, there's like two kind of by the west door, two kind of by the east door, two kind of by the north. Exactly, Barbara. Two by the north door and then two by the south. Barbara showed me her drawing. Yeah, that's exactly what it looks like.

[Tyler Coe]

And can Gunther follow?

[Chris Damaris]

You're gonna follow Doug?

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. Yeah. You work your way over to the next one, and inside you see, again, two skeletons.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Are they wearing anything or holding anything?

[Chris Damaris]

Make me an investigation check.

[Tyler Coe]

Can I do that as well, since I'm there?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, sure.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

A 12.

[Tyler Coe]

That 20 for a 19.

[Chris Damaris]

For a 19. So you two look at this and you notice that there's actually a little plaque attached to this cell.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh.

[Chris Damaris]

And the plaque says, wearing improper signatures of nobility.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And maybe that's why they were locked up.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. And the two skeletons are adorned with rings across their entire body instead of clothes. One wears a ring made of pearl and the other is adorned with rings made of ebony.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So they're wearing improper items of. Of nobility.

[Chris Damaris]

Wearing improper signatures of nobility.

[Tyler Coe]

These cells, are they like jail cells? Like, up and down? Like, how wide are they? And is there a door?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, there is a door on this. As far as the description of the cells, they're kind of like self contained. They're attached to the ground and with the bars coming up and then going over the top.

[John Risinger]

Can Tolv see if there's any other plaques in the room?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. Does each cell have a plaque?

[Micah Solusod]

I gotta find the cavities.

[Chris Damaris]

You can make an investigation, check if you wish, Tol.

[Micah Solusod]

I do wish. Here we go.

[John Risinger]

Ah, 10.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you actually do notice you missed it earlier, but the cell you were looking at as well also had a little plaque. Now that it's been pointed out to you and you look around and you see that from where you are standing again, it's difficult to see because of the steam rising from the vent in the middle. It looks like most of these cells do have little plaques on them.

[John Risinger]

Okay, can I read the nearest one?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. And actually the one you were looking at, that first one, now that you know, you look and there is a plaque on it, it says perjury. And now that you see that, you see that the two skeletons in there, their skulls are sealed. There's like a. Something covering up their mouths.

[John Risinger]

And are these humans or do they look like Yndarians or humanoid or whatever?

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, like the skeletons.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, I would say they're like. It's difficult to say, but it's like bipedal humanoid in general, bisexual humanoids.

[John Risinger]

I mean, can I tell if what side they're on? Are they part of the mortalium mortality?

[Blaine Gibson]

Is it Mortalium mortality?

[Chris Damaris]

Make a wisdom check for me, Tol.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And just while he's doing that, out of curiosity, the. When we walked in from the north, is that going like to the right was the perjury one and then it was clockwise?

[Chris Damaris]

Clockwise, yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, so we'd be to the left of when we walked in. So to the east.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct, Correct.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, oh, yes. Sorry. Yeah, sorry.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm looking at it from the other perspective. Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

At 1:00 and 2:00. Those are the. Those are the two cells we've looked.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

At perjury and the wearing.

[John Risinger]

I got a 10 on my wisdom.

[Chris Damaris]

You remember that it was mentioned that Fort Endridge was built over an old battleground. There's some old ruins. So you think that this may predate some of that and this may be attached to whatever was here in the past.

[Tyler Coe]

Can Gunther fit through the cell bars?

[Chris Damaris]

What size is Gunther? Small. Right? Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

He said he was like two feet.

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah, he's like two. What did I say he was like two?

[Chris Damaris]

Something around two feet.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Two foot seven, I think.

[Chris Damaris]

210 if I remember right.

[Tyler Coe]

Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, that's right.

[Blaine Gibson]

Because I made a joke that he says he's three feet. That's right.

[Chris Damaris]

We just had the watch party the other day on our Discord, and I remember it's.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's the only reason I remember it.

[Chris Damaris]

Same. Same.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Which, by the way, you could join our Discord by being a Patreon member and we could do episodes. Come join us.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's fun.

[Chris Damaris]

Patreon.com stinkydragon or stinkydragonpod.com.

[Blaine Gibson]

I like when Gus pulls out the micro machines ad voice when he wants to do a plug for us.

[Chris Damaris]

If the shutdown of Rooster Chief taught me anything, it's that we should always be pushing stinky dragon pod.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, we should be reminding people this is our livelihood and this is how we pay for bread and health insurance.

[Chris Damaris]

I mean, more than anything, I feel like it's because it's the domain. We can point it to whatever we want.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, it just now goes to Gus's Amazon wish list.

[Chris Damaris]

You asked if you could fit through, and you give it a try, and you could almost fit through, but it's a little too tight. Almost as if they intended to make sure that no small humanoid could get through.

[Micah Solusod]

Gunther, you're not going to prison. Whatever you did. We'll find a way out. I know a lawyer.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could Doug, keep checking on the different cells? And I don't know if Natty wants to do that as well.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, I saw. I see that Gunther is going for that one cell. And I try for the door, at the very least to see if the cell's open.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, and this is the same one.

[Blaine Gibson]

The. The rings one.

[Chris Damaris]

Gotcha.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Signatures of nobility.

[Jack Patillo]

You know, guys, I'm just gonna say it now. I see you trying to get into this cell. I don't know if I would put those wings on just based on the fact that these guys are dead and trapped and wearing those things.

[Micah Solusod]

Especially since Gunther doesn't like birds like wings.

[Blaine Gibson]

I got it, Blaine. I got it.

[Tyler Coe]

It took me a while.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Doug just keeps walking.

[Chris Damaris]

So you give the door a tug, and it's kind of stuck. Maybe just because it's been there for so long, but it's actually fine. It's actually unlocked and you're able to open it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, I open it.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther doesn't notice, and he's still trying to fit through this.

[Chris Damaris]

He's doing that thing where it's like your arm is through, but your head.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Isn'T fitting, or like, just his eyeball is bulging through.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gigi walks into the Cell on the other side of the bars that Gunther is trying to squish through. Looking at him. Confused, confused. Can I go in and can I? Man, Gus is going to make fun of me, but I'm going to complain right now that I. I have low investigation again. That's what I problem I had with my teeth was. I had a negative modifier investigation. So every time I wanted to investigate something, it was like I was handicapped. But I going to investigate these rings. I want to see what's. If there's anything to be discern from them.

[John Risinger]

Are they.

[Blaine Gibson]

Do they have symbols on them or are they glowing? Or would they look good in my outfit?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, make that investigation check. Let's find out. Okay, let's find out together.

[Blaine Gibson]

9.

[Chris Damaris]

It seems like they're, to use D and D parlance, it seems like they are mundane items and it's more like ringed clothes, if that makes sense.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, like chainmail, Kinda.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, Yeah, I would say in that style, sure.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, so it's not just like finger rings.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, so the perjury guys had their mouths sealed, which is what I think you were saying. And so that has to do with perjury. You're telling the lie. Is there a way that by looking at this, I would assume that these adornments are a punishment? Like, were they heavy?

[Chris Damaris]

They are heavy.

[Blaine Gibson]

Make a.

[Chris Damaris]

Let's call it a wisdom check.

[Jack Patillo]

Gemini, you guys need some help on some history?

[Blaine Gibson]

Hey, Doug, get your big brain, big brain over here. We need some help.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Doug comes over.

[Jack Patillo]

Oh, wait. What do you need to know?

[Blaine Gibson]

Are these heavy?

[John Risinger]

Hello, fellow small business owner. It is I, Blaine Gibson. Let us talk about business. Now, when you're thinking about online brands that are killing it, you know, you got Gymshark and you got your magic spoons and chubbies. You're probably thinking about, like, oh, their product and their marketing. But what you're probably not thinking about is the business that's behind those businesses, okay? The ones that are doing the selling. And for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. They're the home of the number one checkout on the planet. And let's just say they've got a secret weapon, all right? It's actually not a secret. It's called shop pay. It boosts conversions up to 50%. So, you know, while you got customers and other businesses that are walking away because they get bored of, you know, having to enter in all their information information, Shop pay makes it quick and easy. Bada bing, bada boom. So if you are wanting to grow your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. All right, so if you're an online store, or if you're a brick and mortar store, use Shopify. All right? They got you covered. So let's upgrade your business and get the same checkout as Gymshark.

[Micah Solusod]

All right?

[John Risinger]

And Heinz, they use Shopify. All right, Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com that's all lowercase. Once again at shopify.com dragon and we'll be in business. Get your business going. Shopify.com dragon.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

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[Chris Damaris]

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[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could Doug kind of like touch it and like lift it with his hands?

[Blaine Gibson]

What were you trying to get me to discern With a wisdom check.

[Chris Damaris]

Make a wisdom check, Doug. Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

There you go.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh my God.

[Jack Patillo]

23.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

You pick it up and they don't feel particularly heavy. I know Doug's a big boy, but even if Doug was regular boy, you don't think that these would be very heavy. It's not like these were put on necessarily as punishment, some kind of punishment. It's more like adornment of some kind.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Jack Patillo]

The plaque said that they were wearing improper signatures of nobility. So maybe they weren't supposed to be wearing these winged clothing wing with an aw cove.

[Blaine Gibson]

Woo them all. So like maybe I'm going to try to connect this. Like maybe it's. This was like to mock their crime. Anyways, we should check out the other cells. Right? And I wanted to be.

[John Risinger]

I wanted to ask like, are there eight cells or eight? Because there's two around each door and.

[Micah Solusod]

There'S four doors, right?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

There's eight cells total, right?

[Chris Damaris]

Eight cells total. There's three doors. So when you came in from the north, one to the west, one to the east, and there's a large bench overlooking the room at the southern end of the room.

[John Risinger]

Oh, a bench. Like a jury kind of. Or a judge's sort of thing. Like, this is like a. Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

And there's steps leading up to it. You could maybe you could see bench.

[Blaine Gibson]

Like a jury judge or bench, like we're hanging out in the park.

[Chris Damaris]

Gotcha. Like a.

[Tyler Coe]

Like a jury judge, like a magistrate might stand at.

[Blaine Gibson]

Are you. Why are you so smug by, like, do you think that thinking of magistrate was like, a really. Like, it's a two dollar word.

[Jack Patillo]

Hold on. The magistrate, when he left, he says, justice has been served.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. Okay.

[Jack Patillo]

Makes me believe that he might be the one who was serving justice over these guys.

[Blaine Gibson]

So that's why you were saying magistrate Christopher.

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah.

[Micah Solusod]

So a lot of courtroom things.

[John Risinger]

So then are there eight plaques for each cell, or is it four plaques for every two cells?

[Chris Damaris]

You tried to look earlier, and it was hard to see because of the steam. You couldn't see quite across to the other side of the room. But from what you could tell, it seemed like most of the cells had plaques, but you could tell some of them did not.

[John Risinger]

And I don't want to rush through, but I do want to just, like, if we. If we all kind of divided and conquered and looked to see, like, what all the different plaque say.

[Blaine Gibson]

I think the boy with the glowing stone should go check out all the plaques.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah. Does the. The glowing stone help us, like, with our.

[Blaine Gibson]

I think the guy with the glowing stone should worm his way over at all the plaques.

[John Risinger]

I like that Chris essentially just said stealth.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Does my glowing stone help in investigation at all? Like, does it give us any type of advantage? Or, like, maybe makes our rolls lower that we need. Needed?

[Chris Damaris]

Not necessarily. It might eventually, but not at this juncture. The thing that is impeding you the most is the steam. So, like, a light source doesn't necessarily help when it's misty or steamy like that.

[Micah Solusod]

Tolf has a big old cape on his back. You know, it's made of the finest furs that he found while on his ship sailing. Can I just put it over the.

[John Risinger]

Grate to cover up, to stop the flow of fog so we can kind of clean up the air.

[Chris Damaris]

That's not a bad idea. Sure. As you turn around to begin making your way over to the vent. Why doesn't everyone make me a dexterity saving throw?

[Blaine Gibson]

I was waiting for this to happen. Oh, Nat. 20.

[Chris Damaris]

Nice.

[Blaine Gibson]

And that is for a. It was a save.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

22.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

17.

[Tyler Coe]

13.

[John Risinger]

18. But I have advantage only while I can see them, so I don't know if I can see them or not.

[Chris Damaris]

That's fine. Anyway, you're 18. You're good.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. As you turn around, the ground starts shaking beneath all of you and you feel like. Yeah, there's an earthquake, like a small earthquake that shakes the ground for about 10 seconds and then it stops.

[Blaine Gibson]

Do we see the sky tumbling down? Tumbling down?

[Chris Damaris]

You do not because you're underground.

[Blaine Gibson]

I learned that song from the Muppets. I didn't know who that was.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

There seems to be a theme of earthquake type tremors in a lot of what we're doing in D and D campaigns.

[Blaine Gibson]

I hope at the end of our last campaign doesn't happen too soon.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

No spoilers. No spoilers.

[Chris Damaris]

So, yeah, so that happened. You all are able to keep your footing? No one falls down or anything.

[Blaine Gibson]

Told.

[Chris Damaris]

Do you still want to go cover up that steam event? Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, yeah, let's. Let's expedite this investigation.

[Chris Damaris]

Sure. You walk over and the vent is just like releasing this dullish gray brown colored gas. And it kind of smells slightly of like licorice.

[Micah Solusod]

Been there.

[Blaine Gibson]

You ain't never gonna get that smell out of that cape now.

[Micah Solusod]

That's okay.

[Chris Damaris]

You get closer. Put your cape over it. Why don't you make me a constitution saving throw?

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, oh, 13.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. The gas, or whatever, the steam, whatever it is, this brownish gas gets in your lungs and makes you start coughing quite a bit. Uh. Oh, yeah. You know, you're able to cough it all out and expel it, so it doesn't really do anything to you.

[Micah Solusod]

I smelt the fart smoke.

[Chris Damaris]

You cover it up with your cape. No problem.

[Micah Solusod]

So I close the vent.

[Blaine Gibson]

So then does that. With the cape covering this steam, does it maybe dissipate a little bit so we can see what's going on?

[Micah Solusod]

I hope it does.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. The gas starts dissipating a bit and you're able to see a little more clearly.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, Doug, do your job.

[Jack Patillo]

All right, here we go.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And Doug quickly goes to look at all the plaques.

[Blaine Gibson]

Sure.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

On the different cells. And now that the steam is gone, Doug also puts on his glasses.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You make your way around. So how do you want to do this? Do you just want me to, like.

[Blaine Gibson]

Let'S do the clock?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

What do you mean?

[Tyler Coe]

Because you said it was. We were looking clockwise and we clockwise.

[Blaine Gibson]

Like you told us 1:00 and 2:00. Tell us 4:00 and 5:00.

[Chris Damaris]

I just mean, like, do you want to know what the cells say or like, or everything or all the cells.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And, like, what's in them, too?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, plaque and punishment.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And I would say Doug also has a notebook so he could write these down.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's just a copy of the book, the notebook that he writes his notes over.

[Jack Patillo]

If you're a bud, I'm a bud.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's good. That's good. Barf.

[Chris Damaris]

The next one, also to the east, says bearing improper armaments.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Bearing improper armaments. That's similar.

[Chris Damaris]

And inside you see a fancifully clad skeleton dressed in a cowl made of some kind of animal hide. And inside is also a sheep carcass.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Is the sheep carcass, like, deferred? What's the word? Like, what has the fur de. Skinned.

[Chris Damaris]

It's very desiccated and old. But you do not believe so.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, so it's not like this person is wearing the skin from the sheep?

[Chris Damaris]

No, it does not appear so.

[Blaine Gibson]

I wonder what armaments that sheep was wearing that got him in trouble.

[Chris Damaris]

Then you move down to the next one to the south, and this one's actually empty and has no plaque.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, that's for us.

[Jack Patillo]

Don't go in jail. Yeah, that's the most dangerous of cells.

[Chris Damaris]

Then you move to the next one, which is, like, in the 7:00 position. Yeah, that one is also empty and has no plaque.

[Blaine Gibson]

Cool.

[Micah Solusod]

Just like a Southwest Airlines flight.

[Chris Damaris]

The next one has a plaque that says piracy. And there's a skeleton holding a handkerchief.

[Blaine Gibson]

Weird.

[Jack Patillo]

They tried to download too many songs from their favorite album.

[Chris Damaris]

Then the next one says sedition. And there's a skeleton with a piece of parchment in its hand.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, these are getting weirder.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could I manage to reach in and grab the piece of parchment to see what it says?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure, yeah. You grab in and you're able to barely reach it. You pull the parchment out, and it has an unfinished speech about a rebellion.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, in there.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I leave it in there.

[Blaine Gibson]

Last one.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. And you go to the final one, which would be at the 11 o'clock position, kind of by that north door, and it says bankruptcy. And it looks like the skeleton in here has pockets filled with something.

[Blaine Gibson]

Sunshine.

[Chris Damaris]

Hard to see.

[Blaine Gibson]

I opened the door of that one because you're being mysterious.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It's probably just gold or coins or something.

[Micah Solusod]

Probably scorpions.

[Blaine Gibson]

Why scorpions?

[Micah Solusod]

I don't know.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's so specific.

[Chris Damaris]

You go to open the door, and this one is locked.

[Blaine Gibson]

Anybody got any tools?

[Micah Solusod]

I have a hammer. I could, like, fish the skeleton over to the bars and we can check its pockets.

[Jack Patillo]

I mean, I. I have some types of tools. And stuff like that, but I don't know if we should be opening.

[Micah Solusod]

This dog can fix it.

[Jack Patillo]

Well, I can figure it out.

[Micah Solusod]

I messed up your catchphrase. That's right.

[Chris Damaris]

Very similar. Similar, similar spirit.

[Blaine Gibson]

Could Giggy fit through the bars?

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, Gigi is smaller than Gunther.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Then I'll say yes.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. But I'm gonna have to roll to see if Giggy does what I say.

[Tyler Coe]

I love that.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's funny.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, sweetie, I need you to go in there in that little sale, and you get that Skellington, and I want you to see what's in his pockets. Okay. Bring it to Mommy. Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. I was about to ask. Is that what Giggy sounds like? Like what Barbara did? Like, what is. What is the. Okay.

[Gus Sorola]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Risinger]

It's Donnie from the Wild Thornberries.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's very Donnie from the Wild Thornberries. All right. I rolled a 14. That's a yes. Yay.

[Chris Damaris]

All right.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right. Gigi goes in and gets Mommy what Mommy wants.

[Chris Damaris]

And this was what was in the pockets of one bankruptcy.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Gigi goes in and sticks his hands into the pockets and pulls out fists full of paper. And brings them back to you, I assume, like, very proudly holding them up.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. I pull out in my pack a little biscuit, and I give Gigi a biscuit, and I take the papers. Are they, like, little papers or something? Are they crumpled up? What are they?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, they're small, crumpled up. There's about six small, crumpled up pieces of paper.

[Blaine Gibson]

I unfurl them and put them on the ground.

[Chris Damaris]

You unfurl them, put them on the ground in front of you, and you see that they are all IOUs to various lenders.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Awkward.

[Micah Solusod]

Can Tolv go over to the piracy wand and take the handkerchief?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, I get it. Because you're a pirate.

[Chris Damaris]

You're gonna try to open the door. You try to reach in. How you gonna do that?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Is the door open?

[John Risinger]

I'll try to open the door.

[Chris Damaris]

The door is unlocked? Yeah. You open it up and go inside. And you grab the handkerchief from the skeleton's hand, and on it seems to be sewn a vague map. It seems to be from one point to another.

[Blaine Gibson]

Ooh, treasure map.

[John Risinger]

Does it look like our surroundings?

[Chris Damaris]

Make a wisdom check.

[Tyler Coe]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And that was the piracy one, right?

[Blaine Gibson]

Correct. Does it have a dotted line with an X at the end?

[John Risinger]

15.

[Chris Damaris]

It does not seem to be the area you're in.

[John Risinger]

Okay, I'm going to pocket that handkerchief. I mostly did it out of solidarity.

[Micah Solusod]

Because, you know, Tol's a Former pirate.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, but also, I mean, this sounds like it could lead us to some gold at some point.

[Chris Damaris]

Maybe. Maybe.

[John Risinger]

Is there any other context clues on the map that could kind of, like, tell us any landmarks or anything that's recognizable?

[Chris Damaris]

So it's not the area you're in? You know, it might take some studying. The problem is that it's not a very, like, zoomed out map. It's very small and regional. So you have to figure out, like, what specific area that is. I'm sure if you studied it for a while and, you know, cross referenced with some other maps, you could probably figure it out. But off the top of your head, you don't know. Like, maybe next time you have a long rest, you could spend some time, like, trying to study it.

[Micah Solusod]

Cool. I'll do that.

[Tyler Coe]

Could Gunther realize that he can't fit through the bars and then walk around and grab the rings?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

He's been trying this whole time.

[Tyler Coe]

The ringed armaments. Or was that what they were called?

[Blaine Gibson]

Clothing.

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah, the ringed clothing.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. One or both, I guess both. Okay. Yeah, one's made of pearl and the other's made of ebony.

[Jack Patillo]

Doug doesn't like this, like, colored pearl and ebony.

[Chris Damaris]

Like materials, no material.

[Tyler Coe]

Oh.

[Blaine Gibson]

What are you gonna do with him, Chris?

[Tyler Coe]

Oh, I mean, like, get him, like, take them.

[Chris Damaris]

Just going into his inventory.

[Blaine Gibson]

I figured just making him say it.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Ugh.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, so what disadvantage is Chris gonna have from now on now that.

[Tyler Coe]

He has these worst cursed items?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, tolls, too. He took that treasure map. And you too, Natty, with the little. I guess you just looked at it and put him back.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, Mama didn't raise no dummy.

[Jack Patillo]

Yeah, I can tell. Daddy's very smart.

[Chris Damaris]

So, not that we're ever, like, super strict about it, but typically in D and D, your carrying capacity is 15 times your strength score. So for Gunther, that would be nine times 15, which is 135 pounds. And you're already carrying 117. So just be mindful we're not gonna go crazy with hoarding this campaign.

[Blaine Gibson]

Cause you smile, I'm gonna have to.

[Tyler Coe]

Get rid of some stuff.

[Blaine Gibson]

You smile.

[Tyler Coe]

How much are these armaments or these clothing? The ringed ones.

[Chris Damaris]

Like, weight wise, I'd say they're like three pounds each. Six pounds total.

[Blaine Gibson]

There you go. Could Natty go to the bench? Sir? Can. May I approach the bench?

[Chris Damaris]

You ask that, and you see a business card float by in front of your face.

[Blaine Gibson]

Sawyer.

[Chris Damaris]

You briefly see Sawyer, the lawyer, and it disappears.

[Blaine Gibson]

And a little scream goes with it.

[Chris Damaris]

I'M kidding, kidding, kidding, kidding. You do not hear a reply.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. I'd like to go to the bench. And is there like a seat or something? Or is it a standing thing, like a pulpit?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You begin walking up. Like I said, there are steps leading up to the bench. You step on the first one and you hear a click. Okay. And you see that that step is attached to a long piece of string that goes over to a pipe near the vent or near the steam vent that Toll had covered up. And it moves the pipe over the.

[Blaine Gibson]

Steam vent, as in to release stuff like, vent it.

[Chris Damaris]

I don't know.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, okay.

[Micah Solusod]

My cape. No.

[Blaine Gibson]

I step on the next.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Nothing seems to happen.

[Blaine Gibson]

What happens if I take my foot off the first step?

[Chris Damaris]

Nothing. The pipe still stays where it is in this new position.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. I do the little thing they do in musical theater movies where I do like a little like a step up, two step down, three step up, one step down. That kind of thing.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. As you step on the first step, it toggles that pipe off and then on. Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

Can Tolv take his cape off and see if now the smoke flows? Does anything with that new pipe?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. Like, is there an airflow as you take it off?

[Chris Damaris]

Why don't you make me another constitution saving throw?

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, darn it.

[John Risinger]

That's a 13.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. Yeah. Again, that stuff gets in your lungs, but you're able to cough it out just fine. Yeah. When you do that, when you take your cape off and that little pipe is there over the vent, it begins making a whistle sound.

[Blaine Gibson]

The vent is that little pipe because.

[Chris Damaris]

The gases that are going into it are being focused. And now it's making, like, a little bit of a whistle.

[Blaine Gibson]

So it is flowing into the pipe.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct. Not all of it, but some of it.

[Micah Solusod]

Tolv put his hand over like you do with the vacuum, where he goes like.

[Chris Damaris]

It's not quite that strong.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. I go all the way to the top. Then Natty goes all the way to the top and goes to the actual bench itself.

[Chris Damaris]

As you approach the bench, two Demongul curs come running into the room. Occur like a. Almost like a feral dog. A mean dog.

[Micah Solusod]

No such thing as mean dogs, Gus.

[Tyler Coe]

We're fighting dogs again.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's what Gus likes to make us do.

[Chris Damaris]

They come running into the room, snarling. These are like smaller versions of the Demongrals you fought earlier.

[Blaine Gibson]

So they're small.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. They're looking at you four.

[Tyler Coe]

Do you have any rations or anything?

[Jack Patillo]

You tell us.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Look at your inventory.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. And Micah's clarifying. Ker is actually an aggressive dog or one that is in poor condition, especially a mongrel.

[Tyler Coe]

Okay, I have a mess kit, so I'm going to swing. There's some food in there. Can I hold out some food and wave it in front of the like donkey?

[Chris Damaris]

Why don't you make me an animal handling check, Gunther? Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

NAT 20. 21.

[Blaine Gibson]

NAT 20.

[John Risinger]

Can Tolv offer Gigi's spitball as well?

[Chris Damaris]

They don't seem interested in that. Me neither.

[Blaine Gibson]

That just means that you still have it.

[Micah Solusod]

I've been holding onto it this whole time.

[Chris Damaris]

Gunther, you hold out some rations and some food, and they seem very intent on that. They seem to begin ignoring the four of you and instead focus on eating the food.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh.

[Jack Patillo]

Put it in one of the empty cells and then close the door.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, there you go.

[Tyler Coe]

That was my plan. But, like, I hold the food like Dr. Grant, the flare from Jurassic Park. Yeah, you know it.

[Chris Damaris]

Like, you're waving it back and forth trying to get their attention.

[Tyler Coe]

Toss it into an empty cell with the door open.

[Chris Damaris]

Which one?

[John Risinger]

South Wap.

[Tyler Coe]

South Wan. Are you asking, like, which ones are empty or which cell? Five and seven are both empty.

[Blaine Gibson]

There's two empties.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Tyler Coe]

I will do cell five because that is closest to me.

[Blaine Gibson]

Five o'clock.

[John Risinger]

Five o'clock, you mean.

[Blaine Gibson]

Or the fifth cell. Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

Which would be the fourth cell?

[Blaine Gibson]

Southeast.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. Lucky for you, this was a cell that had not been opened. But luckily, you tried the door and it is unlocked. And you're able to open it and get their attention and toss it in there. And the demongral curse. Follow the food in, greedily eating it.

[Tyler Coe]

And then shed it.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. And then you shut the door. They don't seem to notice you shut the door. They're too focused on the food. It seems like they are placated. For now.

[Blaine Gibson]

Lock it. Lock it, Lock it.

[Tyler Coe]

Can I lock it or shut it?

[Jack Patillo]

Oh, I think even if you shut it, I don't know if these dogs could necessarily, like, tone a handle. Like, whatever.

[Blaine Gibson]

I don't think it's a handle. I think a cell door that just pushes open.

[Tyler Coe]

All right. Then I take a piece of rope and tie it and do a knot.

[Chris Damaris]

Sure.

[Blaine Gibson]

I know Gus. I know Gus.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you do know me. Just for fun, make me a slider hand. Check.

[Blaine Gibson]

This ain't my first rodeo with C, man.

[Tyler Coe]

I rolled a one.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's good. Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

It is tight.

[Micah Solusod]

Very tight.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you make a great nod on it, Gunther.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, no. Dang it.

[John Risinger]

Tolv wants to go to the plaque and hammer in for the crime of being cute puppies.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Is there like a latch that Doug could maybe take his crowbar and bend the latch so it's harder to push open kind of thing?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure. Just make me. Let's just call it a strength check with advantage for that one.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay. 16. Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

You're able to bend the bars a little bit to where they kind of overlap so that if you try to open the door, like the metal hits the metal, it's not going to really open.

[Blaine Gibson]

Cool. There we go.

[Micah Solusod]

Don't tell Sarah McLaughlin.

[Chris Damaris]

She hates that.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is anybody else out there like me where they like the idea of giving gifts, but they're terrible at like the whole process of finding something good worth giving? Hi, John. Here, let's spark something uncommon this holiday. With just the right gift from Uncommon Goods. I found Uncommon Goods. I browsed through their website. I was looking for stuff to give my girlfriend. I found some really cool little handcrafted products. You know, the kind that are made in like small batches by artists or small independent businesses. I got them shipped and I gave them to my girlfriend. And she loved every single one of them because they were interesting and unique and different and not like the crummy gifts you would find elsewhere. And I got an extra win out of that because with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they also give back a dollar to a nonprofit partner of your choice when you make your purchase. And they've donated more than million to date, which is pretty awesome. What is extra awesome is you guys can actually get an extra 15% off your next gift if you use our link and you go to uncommongoods.com stinky again, I must say that one more time. That's uncommongoods.com stiny for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. That's Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. This episode is brought to you by US Cellular. Some things are worth waiting for, like getting your diploma or finding the right partner. You know what's not worth waiting for? The cable guy. Fortunately, US Cellular's home Internet is so simple to install, you can do it yourself. And it's just $39.99 per month when bundled with a wireless plan with a three year price lock guarantee. US Cellular Home Internet made simple without the waiting terms apply. Visit us cellular.com for details. Okay, I have to tell you, I.

[Chris Damaris]

Was just looking on ebay where I.

[Blaine Gibson]

Go for all kinds of things I love.

[Chris Damaris]

And there it was, that hologram trading card.

[Gus Sorola]

One of the rarest.

[Chris Damaris]

The last one I needed for my set.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. Ebay had it. And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you.

[Blaine Gibson]

Get your windshield wipers?

[Gus Sorola]

Ebay has all the parts that fit my car.

[Blaine Gibson]

No more annoying, just beautiful. Whatever you love, find it on eBay.

[Micah Solusod]

EBay.

[Blaine Gibson]

Things people love. Okay, might I now get to the bench?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you approach the bench and it just seems like a. Almost like a judge's bench.

[Micah Solusod]

I'll rise for the honorable Natty Vonder.

[Blaine Gibson]

You may be seated. Is there anything on it? Or is there like a little drawer or like anything underneath it?

[Chris Damaris]

Make an investigation check for me.

[Blaine Gibson]

I knew you were gonna say that. That's an 11.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You begin searching it. There's no drawers per se, but there's nothing on top of it. But you do look underneath it like you said. And on the floor under it, you find a small key.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, is there anything special about it or just a normal looking key?

[Chris Damaris]

It's a mundane key. Seems old.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Nothing extraordinary about it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Well, I pocket that. I found a key. Just letting you guys know.

[Chris Damaris]

Worm, worm.

[Blaine Gibson]

I found a key.

[Jack Patillo]

You never will find a key in a place like this without being somewhat important.

[Blaine Gibson]

Wise proverbs there, Doug.

[John Risinger]

There were some locked cages, but I feel like we were able to solve some of those issues. But that key might go to one of those cages.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It's possible that it's just. Yeah, for the ones that were locked, like the bankruptcy one.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Did the dogs come from both entrances or just one?

[John Risinger]

And Gus, who let the dogs out?

[Chris Damaris]

I would like for John. You give yourself an inspiration, Doc. That is a great question. I was wondering if anyone would ask that.

[Blaine Gibson]

Can I. Hey, wait, question. I already have inspiration. Can I gift inspiration and then take the one you just gave?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure, why not?

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Micah Solusod]

Juju.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Juju.

[Blaine Gibson]

I give it. I give it to Tolv. I guess.

[Chris Damaris]

The. These demonical curse seem to come from the east.

[Blaine Gibson]

The one that descended.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, maybe we should try the west. Just in case there's more demongrals to the east.

[Jack Patillo]

I would agree with that.

[Tyler Coe]

Are you not looking for them?

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm not looking for more dogs that can kill me.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

Are you?

[Tyler Coe]

Yes.

[Blaine Gibson]

You got a weird cape there, dude.

[Tyler Coe]

I have a question about what we know about the demongrals. Have you ever encountered them where they're like, I don't know, nice in any way? Are they just evil, vicious like. I'm just worried about locking things these doggies up and Then like leaving them to starve.

[Chris Damaris]

You've never had a positive experience with them and you've never heard of anyone having a positive experience with them. They are evil creatures.

[Tyler Coe]

They are evil creatures.

[Blaine Gibson]

They have demon in their name.

[Micah Solusod]

They're on their home turf. Someone might come along and let them out. You never know.

[Tyler Coe]

Before we go.

[Micah Solusod]

Food.

[Tyler Coe]

Could Gunther take up his bow and arrow and shoot them? Take him out of their misery.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, good lord.

[Blaine Gibson]

They're mice and mening this.

[Jack Patillo]

They got food in there. They'll last for a little while.

[Micah Solusod]

Did I oppose this? This attack? I don't like this.

[Tyler Coe]

Otherwise they're gonna starve.

[Micah Solusod]

No, they have food in there and someone's probably gonna be along.

[Blaine Gibson]

Natty actually watches as Gunther pulls his bow out and actually kind of nods in approval.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, she would.

[Micah Solusod]

We go to stand for this?

[Tyler Coe]

This or let them out?

[Micah Solusod]

Well, we can't let them out because they're going to attack us.

[Chris Damaris]

So let me build the world here. Let me. Let me expound and give you more information that may affect your decision. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm not saying do it. I just want to make sure you fully understand what's going on. So the Demongrals, their eyes glow like scarlet and their skin ranges from coal black to blood red color. And it radiates with like a smoldering fire and flames lick at the edges of their mouth. You wouldn't consider these mortal? They're like fiends.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't know if you need to worry about him.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, I actually. I have a way to solve this. Let's say Gunther right now is deciding. Right? He's deciding whether or not to shoot the boat. Natty casts elders blasts on them.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. How do you do that? It's like a range.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's a ranged attack up to 120ft.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. Make your attack.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Roll mine.

[Jack Patillo]

I want to burn everything in this womb. Might need to come back.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's not a fire based magic. It's like. Let me see. I can actually tell you it is. Make a range spell attack. Force damage is correct. It's force damage.

[Micah Solusod]

So it's a war crime.

[Blaine Gibson]

24.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, that hits.

[Blaine Gibson]

Why don't you roll some damage for me, 13?

[Chris Damaris]

The Eldritch Energy leaps forward from your hand striking the demongral cur. And it falls to the ground unmoving.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, I do the other one.

[Chris Damaris]

Make the attack roll.

[Blaine Gibson]

That one is a 30. 20.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh yeah, that hits. Roll your damage.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's another 13.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. This one also falls to the ground unmoving.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther spins around and goes, oh, listen.

[Blaine Gibson]

Y'All, death isn't always a bad thing.

[Micah Solusod]

I disagree. I think you judge them too soon. You know, maybe they might be bad and we think they're evil, but that doesn't mean that they have the potential to be good.

[Chris Damaris]

Does.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Does Tolv have a soft spot for all animals? Is that the.

[Chris Damaris]

It sounds to me like Tolv has a soft spot for redemption. Based on what he's saying, it sounds like it.

[Micah Solusod]

Who knows?

[Jack Patillo]

You know, I would agree with you, Tove. I think redemption is really important. And, you know, sometimes you can't be judged for things that happen that maybe sometimes are, like, out of your control.

[Blaine Gibson]

You'd be surprised what kind of redemption you can find after death.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay, guys, well, I'm just saying I want to get on the same page, okay? And I just want to call out, I'm not cool with killing things that we've imprisoned that haven't attacked us. I understand. Stand. We're in the middle of a war. Okay?

[Jack Patillo]

Haven't attacked us yet.

[Micah Solusod]

Well, you know, they were in the cage. They were just eating their biscuits. No mind in their own business. I'm just saying, let's, like, be cool. No killing without cause. I've said my peace. I'm. I'm sorry. You guys are still my best friends. It was just.

[Chris Damaris]

That was really weird.

[Jack Patillo]

Wait, what did you call us?

[Micah Solusod]

What?

[Blaine Gibson]

I know. It's a good thing. It's a good thing.

[Jack Patillo]

What? Friends?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, there you go.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah, best friends.

[Blaine Gibson]

Blaine had to look on his face like he said something inappropriate. Yeah, I just.

[Jack Patillo]

I just. I've never had friends before.

[Micah Solusod]

Well, this is some character development in both directions, you know, Some good, some bad. We're learning. Yahoo. Episode four.

[Jack Patillo]

Anyway, shall we mosey on over to the west?

[Micah Solusod]

Let's go to the west door. Act like this didn't happen. I'm very bothered.

[Blaine Gibson]

While the three of them are moving towards the west door, can Natty really quickly go to the cell where the Demongrals are, and Natty's gonna say something a little like a whisper to the demongrals and then join the party? To the west?

[Chris Damaris]

Absolutely.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Are we allowed to know what you say, or is that a secret?

[Blaine Gibson]

It's a secret.

[Jack Patillo]

Is that what you tell them?

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm just kidding.

[Jack Patillo]

It's sacred.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, just tell us what the whisper sounds like.

[Micah Solusod]

What?

[Chris Damaris]

I don't think Maddie was talking to you. Told. Don't worry.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay?

[Chris Damaris]

You all walk over to the western archway, leaving the room, and as you approach it, you can start to smell like fresh earth and iron. And as you walk into this room, you see it's also a circular room room. It's about 25ft in diameter with 20 foot tall ceilings. You look around and you see a handful of unfinished iron bars and cages laying around the room, along with an anvil and an unlit furnace and some smith's tools.

[Blaine Gibson]

This is all like, center of the.

[Chris Damaris]

Room, just all scattered around. Besides the one you're walking in, there's an additional exit to the south that seems to be blocked by golden vertical box. And additionally, there's a chasm, like a fracture in the ground that's about 5 foot wide through the center of the room. And laying about the chasm, you see a team. Whoa.

[Blaine Gibson]

Chasm. Horizontal or vertical to the orientation of the room?

[Chris Damaris]

Vertical, like north to south. Okay. And a team is there. Three of them seem to be, like.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Jittery and are they on the other side of the chasm from us or on our side?

[Blaine Gibson]

Are they down?

[Chris Damaris]

They're on the same side as you? Yeah, they're not down. They're on the same side as you. Three of them seems to be jittering uncontrollably with private kandranos. Taking care of the other three is all.

[Jack Patillo]

The blacksmith.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay, yoo team, what's got you guys all jittery? What's going on?

[Chris Damaris]

Private Tandranos turns around with like, startled. Didn't hear you coming. Sees you. And then kind of lets out a sigh. Relieves his.

[Jack Patillo]

Oh, it's just B team.

[Micah Solusod]

You mean B team to the rescue.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

More like some of our guys inhaled that gas in the other room. Seems to be affecting them negatively.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, are they okay? Do they need medical attention?

[Jack Patillo]

Yeah, that's why I'm attending to them medically.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gotcha.

[Micah Solusod]

Sounds like you've got everything under control.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

We followed the magistrate in here and he triggered a blast. There's an exit to the north of the street that's now blocked by rubble. It caused an earthquake, which opened up this chasm.

[Jack Patillo]

Oh, was that like, you know, a few minutes ago, Perhaps a little while ago, yeah.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, smart.

[Jack Patillo]

That must have been the earthquake we felt as well.

[Micah Solusod]

I thought that was my stomach.

[Blaine Gibson]

Did he perhaps. Oh, he went through the north and that crumbled down.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, there's like rubble and rocks and dirt kind of all on the northern wall.

[Micah Solusod]

So you let him get away.

[Chris Damaris]

Kantranos looks at you and says, yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Maybe if we had taken a nap, we would have the energy to take him down.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah, I know. That I've got plenty of energy to spare.

[Tyler Coe]

You're three now napping.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah. Those guys are on. They're on the job. They're taking a nap.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

They are incapacitated. They took injuries in combat.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh.

[Micah Solusod]

I mean, maybe if you had rushed ahead. Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

While all of this bluster and masculinity in the most toxic way is going on, Natty goes down to the south because the gold bars are kind of noticeable and wants to see what's going on down there.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You walk to the south and you take a look at them, and it's just golden vertical bars that seem to block the passage going to the next room.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is there a keyhole?

[Chris Damaris]

There is.

[Blaine Gibson]

Natty slyly puts the key in the key While they're all, like, seeing who's bigger.

[Micah Solusod]

It's me. I'm not bigger.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You put the key in the keyhole, and it turns with a click. And the gold bars disappear and instead turn into 15 gold pieces that fall to the ground at your feet.

[Jack Patillo]

Whoa.

[Micah Solusod]

Hey, Dave.

[Jack Patillo]

Guys, I'm trying to think.

[Chris Damaris]

Natty's actually magic as you do so to make me a perception check.

[Micah Solusod]

Okie dokie.

[John Risinger]

That's a 12.

[Chris Damaris]

As you and Private Kanjunos are talking to each other, you look past her shoulder and see a jittery Private Lassic begin to slip and tumble over into the chasm.

[John Risinger]

Oh, can I reach and try to grab him before he falls in?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could any of us react in time?

[Chris Damaris]

Tove is probably the only one close enough, so I'll say, tove, make me a dexterity check.

[John Risinger]

Okay. Oh, here we go. That's a 19.

[Micah Solusod]

Ooh.

[Chris Damaris]

It's like a action hero kind of moment. Private Lassic rolls over and starts falling into the chasm. And I picture Tolv dives out, like, on the ground, like, belly first, Sliding across the ground with his hand outstretched and grabs onto Private Lassic's arm. And you grab him, and he's dangling over the side of the chasm.

[Tyler Coe]

Can Guntic Ren and help pull up?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure. Normally, I'd make you guys make a strength check, but just a little frog on his leg.

[John Risinger]

I just got my leg while I'm pulling him up.

[Chris Damaris]

I say with the two of you, you're able to do it just fine. Yeah. You pull Private Lassic up from falling into the chasm.

[Micah Solusod]

Classic. Classic.

[John Risinger]

You falling for.

[Blaine Gibson]

There it is.

[Tyler Coe]

He was about to take the longest nap.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

How wide did you say the chasm was?

[Chris Damaris]

The chasm from where you are is only about 5ft across, and the exit's.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

To the north, but that's covered by rubble from this, like, chasm and the earthquake and stuff.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct. And there's another exit to the south that was blocked by gold bars, but that has now disappeared because Natty turned them into gold. Man, Natty has magic. Maybe. Wow. Tolv, make me a perception check. Okay.

[John Risinger]

Ooh, that's a four. Should I use my inspo die. What do you guys think?

[Blaine Gibson]

Do it. Info's good.

[Micah Solusod]

Ooh, better a nine.

[Blaine Gibson]

She more than doubled. How about that?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I hate when that happens.

[Chris Damaris]

It's real positivity there, you know? You and Gunth are able to pull Private Lassic up no problem. Okay.

[John Risinger]

I toss him over with the rest of the group, and then I change the chasm. I block off the chasm. Like, I kind of make myself a human shield or orc shield.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could I go over to the three privates that are kind of freaking out and try to help, like, calm them down? I don't know if that's, like, medicine check or, like, a.

[Chris Damaris]

You read my mind. Why don't you make me a medicine check, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

10. I have a plus five, and I rolled a five.

[Chris Damaris]

It seems like, based on your knowledge, that this is something that will not kill them and it's not permanent. This is, like, a temporary effect that, over time, will dissipate from their bodies.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Like, maybe they're frightened.

[Chris Damaris]

It's not that it's frightened. They have some kind of toxin affecting their nervous system.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gotcha.

[Chris Damaris]

From a medical perspective. And they just need time for it to cleanse and clear out of their body.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Doug gives them all just a giant hug. He tries to wrap his big bugbear arms around him.

[Chris Damaris]

A Doug hug squeak.

[Jack Patillo]

It's okay, guys. I get anxious and nervous sometimes too.

[Chris Damaris]

It's okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gigi sees what Doug is doing and tries to do the same thing of a medicine check.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

To that or to you?

[Blaine Gibson]

To the soldiers.

[Micah Solusod]

A classic Gigi. Go on. He almost fell. He needs a hug.

[Blaine Gibson]

I don't think Gigi knows if a hug is necessary, but Gigi tries to help them through their problems.

[Micah Solusod]

That's a good Gigi.

[Blaine Gibson]

Can I roll for medicine check with Gigi?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure. Yeah. I wasn't sure if you wanted to do that or not, but yeah, go for it.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's a four.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Does Giggy have any modifiers?

[Tyler Coe]

Spits on them again.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. Gigi does his best, but he doesn't know it, but it really doesn't help much.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gigi just starts, like, trying to, like, instead of, like, patting them to feel better. Just starts smacking them. Not knowing how hard you're supposed to. In order to give aid to somebody.

[Micah Solusod]

Gentle, giggy.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther nods. And could he go look at the blacksmith stuff?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you go take a look at it and it seems like it's very mundane. Smith tools.

[Tyler Coe]

Are there any materials around that are.

[Blaine Gibson]

Interesting or unique that are under £7?

[Tyler Coe]

Well, like the gold. The gold bars that turn to gold. You know, things like that that might be, like, unique that I might not have seen before.

[Chris Damaris]

No, everything in here is pretty mundane aside from those golden bars. You know, there are some unfinished iron bars that are still in a very rough state. I'll say. There's some iron ore as well that's maybe being processed for this. The anvil. A dark furnace that's unlit. And these tools. Maybe at one point this was an active smith, but it doesn't seem like it has been used in a while.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Tyler Coe]

Can I look in the furnace to see if there's anything?

[Chris Damaris]

You look in furnace, I give myself an inspiration. Die.

[Blaine Gibson]

No.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, they're gonna use it and you're gonna hate it.

[Blaine Gibson]

No.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you take a look. And what specifically are you looking through the ashes or just in general?

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah, looking through the ashes, seeing if there's any things that got smelted or left behind.

[John Risinger]

Gunther's a little detective.

[Jack Patillo]

The one who smelt it, dealt it, perhaps.

[Tyler Coe]

Hey, come.

[Chris Damaris]

I saw someone say Gunther had a. Was like a frog with a Batman voice. So it makes sense that he's a detective.

[John Risinger]

Well, Gunther was the one that also like, discovered the caves and like, looked into it and stuff.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

So I kind. I like this tracker part of Gunther.

[Chris Damaris]

Why don't you make me an investigation? Check Gunther 3. Perfect.

[Micah Solusod]

Killing it.

[Chris Damaris]

Nothing seems to stand out. It's all just dust and ash.

[Blaine Gibson]

The exit that Natty just opened, does it lead to a hallway or another room?

[Chris Damaris]

It leads directly to another circular room.

[Blaine Gibson]

I think Natty would wander into that room.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. Natty disappears into the next room.

[John Risinger]

Tolv is going to follow once he knows that a team is secured.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah, I'll follow suit.

[Micah Solusod]

Hey, medic. Make sure that your guys don't like, fall into that giant chasm. Keep up the great work.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Don't worry. Once we take care of the magistrate, we'll explore the chasm. And we'll take care of that as well.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay. Looks like you got things under control.

[Jack Patillo]

Yeah, you have. We have no reason not to trust you on those woods.

[Micah Solusod]

We do.

[Tyler Coe]

Though they do not seem like capable.

[Micah Solusod]

I know that we don't have to say that to them. Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Doug, are you still in the same room with a team or are you gonna follow the rest of your party?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'll follow them, but I'll give them one tight squeeze and be like, it's gonna be okay.

[Jack Patillo]

All right. You've gotten through everything hard so far. Dust in life. You'll get through this, too.

[Micah Solusod]

It's wonderful.

[Chris Damaris]

Doug, you walk into the next room, and once again, it's another circular room about, let's say, 35ft in diameter with 30 foot high ceilings.

[Micah Solusod]

Bigger.

[Chris Damaris]

And there are 12 pits encircling the room that all have cages on them. And the only exit seems to be the one that you just came through.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And that's to the north of us.

[Chris Damaris]

To the north side of the roof. Yes.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Tyler Coe]

Twelve pits.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And is it like around the circumference.

[Micah Solusod]

Like a big old clock?

[Chris Damaris]

Correct. Very similar to how the cage layout in the first room, but now instead of cages, they're pits.

[Tyler Coe]

I need a better pen.

[Micah Solusod]

Chris, how's that map on your hand looking?

[Chris Damaris]

Take a picture of that. We should post that on social.

[Blaine Gibson]

You just have. You don't even have details. You drew them tiny.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What's the point?

[Tyler Coe]

I didn't know how big of this place was gonna be. And I also made the mistake of setting up the map, thinking we'd go north.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You also made the mistake of drawing it on your hand.

[Tyler Coe]

I can't draw. I'm right handed.

[Jack Patillo]

I can't.

[Tyler Coe]

Do you think this map looks bad with me drawing with my right hand?

[Blaine Gibson]

Draw it on your forehead, then you've got the camera. All right, 12 pits that are. That have 12 cells in them.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. By the way, no one tell him. He could have opened up like a notes app or something on his phone. I don't know.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Anything.

[John Risinger]

Paper, Microsoft paint.

[Tyler Coe]

I could not find paper.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, I'm sorry. Your question was about the pits. What was it I was too busy dunking on, Chris?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, just that, like, so these are like holes in the ground, and in the holes in the ground are cells.

[Chris Damaris]

Well, it's not that there's cells in them. It's that there's almost like a cage cover on top of it to prevent anyone from climbing out. Right, Exactly. There you go.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. Is the room well lit or dark?

[Chris Damaris]

It seems to be lit.

[Micah Solusod]

That's lit. Famous dab.

[Blaine Gibson]

I high five. Tolv. And then heck, yeah. Check the. Is there anything in the center of the room, or are these things the only thing that's noticeable about the room?

[Chris Damaris]

This is all that seems to be in the room. These pits.

[Blaine Gibson]

What about the ceiling?

[Chris Damaris]

Make an investigation check.

[Blaine Gibson]

I go, doug, what if we look at the ceiling together?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Doug comes over to where Natty is to look up.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. Thank you.

[Chris Damaris]

Do you say, what's up, Doug?

[Blaine Gibson]

What's up, Doug?

[Jack Patillo]

No, I say, I could figure it out.

[Chris Damaris]

Both of you make investigation checks to see if you notice anything on the ceiling.

[Blaine Gibson]

I roll an eight like I figured I would.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I also rolled an eight.

[Blaine Gibson]

No, Doug. You're supposed to be the better of us.

[Jack Patillo]

Dolly, I. I came down to your level, Natty. I kind of squatted and looked up. I don't know why I did that.

[Micah Solusod]

It's okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

I give Doug my inspiration, dice.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

No, you're not.

[Blaine Gibson]

I give Doug my inspiration, dice. I want to know. I'm worried that this ceiling, these rooms keep getting bigger and taller.

[Chris Damaris]

And.

[Blaine Gibson]

And I wanna make sure that the ceiling is not gonna have, like, 15 demongrals hanging from.

[Micah Solusod]

Can we look up tolf can look up? I've got decent investigation.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, go for it. Go for it.

[Micah Solusod]

Eighteen.

[Blaine Gibson]

There you go.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You don't have decent investigation. You have a negative one.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, you know, they don't know.

[John Risinger]

The people don't know.

[Blaine Gibson]

You liar.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You liar. But you still roll grand.

[Blaine Gibson]

A sad liar.

[Chris Damaris]

Fake it till you make it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, man.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, that's so funny.

[Blaine Gibson]

I have decent investigation.

[Micah Solusod]

I passed, didn't I? Hey, why don't you go shoot some war prisoners?

[Chris Damaris]

All three of you look up, and there doesn't seem to be anything remarkable about the ceiling. It's just, like, roughly hewn out of.

[Tyler Coe]

Rock while they look up. Could I look down for any things on the ground? Like things you'd step on. What do you call those pedestals?

[Chris Damaris]

Like pressure plates?

[Tyler Coe]

Pressure plates, yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

You step on pedestals.

[Chris Damaris]

So essentially, you're looking for traps.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, checking for traps in D and.

[Chris Damaris]

D. Make an investigation check. Yeah.

[Micah Solusod]

Sixteen Eastern investigation.

[Chris Damaris]

No. You don't detect any pressure plates or anything out of the ordinary other than, of course, the pits that are in the ground?

[John Risinger]

Can I check one of the pits?

[Micah Solusod]

I'm so curious. What's in these pits?

[Tyler Coe]

Hold your breath.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, okay. Did you fart?

[Chris Damaris]

Which one do you want to look at? If you think of it in quadrants, there's three in the northeast quadrant, three in the southeast, three in the southwest, and three in the northwest.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, it's like a big old clock, I'm assuming.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, roughly. But there's no. Like, there's no 12, 3, 6, and 9. Like, it's not at the actual like lined up like a clock.

[Blaine Gibson]

Exactly.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[John Risinger]

Well, then I guess I'll just start at the ones nearest to the door. So I'm gonna consider that like 1 through 3 o'clock.

[Chris Damaris]

Ish. Sure. And you're gonna do the same clockwise just like before in the previous one?

[Jack Patillo]

Sure.

[John Risinger]

I think that was Doug, but yeah, I'm gonna follow suit and just go. I think we go clockwise.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You take a look into that pit, and the inside is just charred and blackened. All you see in there is ashes and bone fragments, and it's not reachable.

[John Risinger]

If I put my hand in or anything like that.

[Chris Damaris]

If you had to guess, you would say the pit's roughly like a five foot cube. Five by five by five. Okay.

[John Risinger]

And this is ashes and bone fragments in each of the three in that upper quadrant.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, you're doing all three? I was just doing the first one. Yeah, let me. I'm gonna make a roll. You don't worry about it. Shut up.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay. All right.

[Blaine Gibson]

You shut up.

[Micah Solusod]

I'm not gonna.

[John Risinger]

I'm not gonna do anything.

[Micah Solusod]

Oh, my God, he rolled it in that 20. Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

All three of these seem to be very similar. They're just all charred and blackened with ash and bone in them.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay, guys, I'm noticing a theme here with fire, brimstone, ashes, bone fragments. This place could use some sprucing up, some throw pillows or something. I don't know.

[Jack Patillo]

Does there seem to be any, like, contraptions that might be spewing fire into. Into this room? Like any pipes or anything like that on the ceiling or.

[Chris Damaris]

Why don't you make me an investigation? Check, Doug.

[Jack Patillo]

Okay, investigating one more time for 23.

[Micah Solusod]

It's a pretty good investigation.

[Jack Patillo]

Pretty good.

[John Risinger]

Gus is making more and more rolls and it's making me more and more nervous.

[Chris Damaris]

I had to get something done. I'm trying to get ahead of you guys. I'm taking care of something in the future that I think you all are going to get to. So I'm just getting it knocked out now so I don't have to worry about it.

[John Risinger]

Then he's just looking at a map of like 15 enemies hiding in wait.

[Chris Damaris]

So I assume, Doug, you take a look at this first three. This first quadrant that Tol was looking in as well?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you take a look. And based on Doug's. I don't know what you would say. Mechanical knowledge, like the way Doug's brain works. You can tell that these are fire pits and there must be some kind of ignition source at the bottom that makes it fill with fire.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I also like how you're, like, he could figure out, based on the way Doug brain works. And I think the actual quote is, Doug's brain works.

[Chris Damaris]

You can figure it out.

[Jack Patillo]

I can figure it out.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Does that seem to be the case on pretty much every single pit in here?

[Chris Damaris]

You begin walking around through all of the different pits, and you notice when you get to the second quadrant in the southeast corner, that the fifth pit you take a look at is actually not as charred and blackened. You can see that in one corner of the pit, there is, like, some good. Some items, like, piled up. It must be blocking the ignition source.

[Blaine Gibson]

Ooh.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, and also in this pit, you see a deceased prisoner.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Do they look burnt or just dead?

[Chris Damaris]

Like, not burnt. It just looks like maybe they've just passed away through some other way.

[Jack Patillo]

Guys, there's a dead fellow in here. And based on my calculations, I think what happened was he got probably thrown in and had stuff on him, and he maybe shoved it into the places where the fire comes out or whatever and kind of saved himself.

[Tyler Coe]

No, he did not.

[Jack Patillo]

Yeah, well, tried to save himself.

[Micah Solusod]

So is it Skellington, or is it, like, a new, like, you know, recent prisoner?

[Chris Damaris]

It's very old. It seems like this body has been here for a very long time.

[Jack Patillo]

He probably maybe couldn't get back out of the pit, so maybe died of starvation and. And other causes.

[Micah Solusod]

Bummer.

[Blaine Gibson]

This broom had gold bars blocking it. That's so weird. Is the grate. Can it be lifted, opened?

[Chris Damaris]

You give it a tug, and they appear to be stuck. But then after a second, it pops open.

[Micah Solusod]

Wow. Great deadlift, Natty. Good form.

[Blaine Gibson]

I did it with my back.

[Jack Patillo]

Never with your back. Even I know that.

[Chris Damaris]

The trick is to twist your body 90 degrees and pull as hard as.

[Blaine Gibson]

You can and hold your breath. Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, God.

[Blaine Gibson]

Natty turns to Gunther and goes, gunther, you want to use your little hoppity hops to check this out?

[Micah Solusod]

Okay, Gunther, we just watched Natty kill two innocent things. I just want you to be careful, okay?

[Tyler Coe]

So it's five. It's only, like, five feet down.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Tyler Coe]

I mean, yeah, I can hop down there and look without disturbing the stuff.

[John Risinger]

Piled up like the plugged pipe.

[Chris Damaris]

Understood. Why don't you make me an investigation check?

[Tyler Coe]

That's a five.

[Micah Solusod]

Pretty good investigation.

[Chris Damaris]

Like you said, you're avoiding the stuff that's in the corner. It's like a pile of shiny metal of some kind. And the deceased body in here seems to be some kind of maybe human, and there's a plaque around his Neck.

[Tyler Coe]

What does the plaque say?

[Chris Damaris]

The plaque says Caldaman, the Avaricious.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Caldaman.

[Chris Damaris]

C, A, L, D, E, M A, N. The Abaricious. Avaricious.

[Blaine Gibson]

Like a very. Yeah, no, these are all words.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't know.

[Gus Sorola]

Wait.

[Blaine Gibson]

Spelled like Everest or Avarice.

[Chris Damaris]

Like avarice. Avaricious.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, I thought you said Everest.

[Tyler Coe]

No, no, no.

[Blaine Gibson]

Like Mount Avaricious. Avaricious. It's like hoarding. Selfish.

[Tyler Coe]

Greedy.

[Blaine Gibson]

Greedy. That's the word. Greedy. Ah.

[Jack Patillo]

Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

And then there's all the gold piled up.

[Blaine Gibson]

Chris's D and D characters.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Barney, Fernie, Caldaman.

[Blaine Gibson]

Call, demand.

[Tyler Coe]

And then there's all that gold and stuff piled up there.

[Chris Damaris]

Eh, I just said it was shiny metal.

[Tyler Coe]

Shiny metal. Can I look at the shiny metal without touching?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, it looks to be some kind of, like, shiny cup.

[Tyler Coe]

A shiny cup. Can I get out of the pit?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tyler Coe]

Can I get out of the pit?

[Blaine Gibson]

Do you bring the cup or leave it?

[Tyler Coe]

No, I'm leaving the cup. Get out of the pit. And then I want to use my tongue and grab the cup.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's better.

[Tyler Coe]

And then jump back.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's better.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. The range on. That's more than five feet, right? For your tongue. What is it?

[Tyler Coe]

Let me check.

[Blaine Gibson]

He just goes, huh?

[Tyler Coe]

No, I want to say it's like 15ft, but 10ft.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. Yeah.

[Micah Solusod]

Did you learn nothing from Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade? Let the cup go.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You get back out and use your tongue on this cup. And you bring it back up and. And everyone can see it's a silver chalice that's encrusted with rubies.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh. Does Doug recognize this at all?

[Chris Damaris]

Make a wisdom check, Doug.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

18.

[Chris Damaris]

Wow. It does not look like it's anything remarkable. It doesn't strike you as something historic or noteworthy? It's just a very fancy, finely made chalice.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay. And with rubies, like, around it.

[Chris Damaris]

Correct.

[Micah Solusod]

Fetch a decent price.

[Tyler Coe]

It might be cursed.

[Micah Solusod]

Probably.

[Jack Patillo]

Well, maybe there's some magical abilities.

[Blaine Gibson]

So we should probably. We should probably consolidate all the cursed stuff with you, Gunther.

[Tyler Coe]

Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Are you gonna hold onto it, Gunther?

[Tyler Coe]

Should we keep it?

[Jack Patillo]

I mean, it might come in handy.

[Blaine Gibson]

You do you, my little frog?

[Jack Patillo]

I don't know. It depends if you want to end up like the guy who had it, so.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, Calderman, that guy's great.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Tyler Coe]

All right. All right. I think Gunther's a little, like, wary. What do you call it when you're, like, relig.

[Micah Solusod]

What is.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is it superstitious?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Superstitious.

[Tyler Coe]

He's a little superstitious. So can he Take his rope, tie it to the end of the cup, and then have it dragged around behind him.

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm going to call you out on this. Why is he superstitious about the little cup, but not the ebony and pearl clothing that he pulled from the other dead people?

[Chris Damaris]

Also, that's not a very warm thing to do.

[Blaine Gibson]

That makes noise, right?

[Tyler Coe]

It's quiet. Well, to me, wearing the wrong clothes, I don't know, that seems like a societal thing versus this. Seems like greed is bad.

[Chris Damaris]

I don't know.

[Tyler Coe]

In his mind, it makes difference. So he doesn't necessarily want the cup.

[Chris Damaris]

From my perspective, the Jedi are evil.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, from my perspective, the cup is bad. Can we. Should we see if any of the other pits were not charred?

[John Risinger]

We got, like, seven other pits to check.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, sure.

[Chris Damaris]

Just for clarification, are you tying the cup and pulling it behind you, Gunther?

[Tyler Coe]

Yeah, unless the gang doesn't want me to.

[Blaine Gibson]

You do you?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You do you?

[Chris Damaris]

Just so you know, if you're going to write this down in your inventory, it's a silver chalice with rubies. It's worth about 20 gold, if you want to write that down just so I don't forget in the future, also.

[John Risinger]

Write down disadvantage on stealth rolls.

[Tyler Coe]

All right?

[Chris Damaris]

You all turn around to begin working your way around the rest of the pit. And as you do so, you hear, like, a very brief hiss and then a roar. And the pit that Gunther was just in fills with flame. Wow.

[Micah Solusod]

Dude, you almost died. Are you cool? That's scary.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So was that chalice maybe protecting.

[Tyler Coe]

Well, it was blocking the thing.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah, it was, like, constipating the flame system.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, it seemed like it was blocking some sort of gas or some sort of vent system.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Jack Patillo]

So it seems like this challenge might be good luck for shoving into places that we need to shove it into.

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

You continue your search. And most of the other pits seem just charred and filled with ash and remnants of bone. However, in one other pit on the northwest quadrant, the tenth pit, you search, you do find again, another body of a deceased prisoner. And with some items in the corner, seemingly plugging up something.

[Micah Solusod]

All right, Gunther, you know the drill.

[Blaine Gibson]

I pull out the grate.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You pull it up. And again, it resists. But then after a couple of moments, it snaps. And then you're able to open it up.

[Tyler Coe]

All right. Gunther hops down, takes a look.

[Chris Damaris]

Make an investigation check. Yeah.

[Tyler Coe]

Five again.

[Blaine Gibson]

The world's greatest detective.

[Chris Damaris]

He's trying. Give him a break.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's a compliment. The world's greatest. I'll see. I'LL fix that. Look at him. He's like the world's greatest detective.

[Jack Patillo]

It's cause his eyes are kind of.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Poking out the sides, so I can't wait to see what's the point.

[Blaine Gibson]

Straight ahead. But his pupils are pointing the opposite directions.

[Jack Patillo]

He has to really turn his head.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Really fast to see what's in front of him.

[Chris Damaris]

Maybe it's fortunate that it's you who came down here, Gunther, because you can tell that this prisoner was a Croak folk of some kind.

[Blaine Gibson]

Whoa.

[Chris Damaris]

And also has a plaque hanging around her neck. Her in the corner, you see a metallic object kind of shoved in, almost similar to the way the chalice was in the other pit.

[Tyler Coe]

And what did the plaque say?

[Chris Damaris]

The plaque says, Pan Dufrior iv, the Vainglorious.

[Tyler Coe]

Is that a name I recognize?

[Chris Damaris]

Make a wisdom check.

[Tyler Coe]

14.

[Chris Damaris]

You don't recognize it per se, but it's an old name amongst the Kroak folk.

[Tyler Coe]

And the body, what's the level of decomposition and what's the attire that it might have?

[Chris Damaris]

It's pretty decomposed. Seems like this body has been here a long time, which would mean. Makes sense with the older name. And the clothing seems to be very mundane, like you would expect from a prisoner. Like shoddy, poorly made clothes. It's been here so long, it's really starting to fall apart. In fact, as you're looking at the clothing, you can see that the remains of a tattoo seem to be peeking out from under the clothing, under one of the sleeves on this body's arm, near her shoulder.

[Tyler Coe]

Oh. And what's the tattoo?

[Jack Patillo]

She's pretty cool.

[Chris Damaris]

You have to get a little closer, and you can see that it's a tattoo of a fiery flower, you know, and now that you're looking at that arm, you know, you see the tattoo on her shoulder. You know, you look down to examine the rest of her arm, and you realize that she has a scroll in her hand.

[Tyler Coe]

Can I inspect that or pick it up and look?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, you pick it up and you can see that there's words on it. You read it and it says, were this crystal found on crowns, its flowing tears would fill one's ears.

[Tyler Coe]

Were this crystal found on crowns?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, if flowing tears would fill one's ears.

[Jack Patillo]

Queepy.

[Blaine Gibson]

Whatcha gonna do, Gunther?

[Tyler Coe]

Well, one, I'll pull out a book, and this time I whisper something.

[Chris Damaris]

Ooh, what does that sound like? I'm so glad I asked.

[Tyler Coe]

And then. Can I look at the pile of stuff?

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, it's just one object. It's like almost like a cylindrical metal object seems to be made out of some kind of brass. Maybe like a dull shiny piece of metal.

[Tyler Coe]

Not like a crystal.

[Chris Damaris]

Not a crystal, but it's hard to see because it is since it is plugging up a hole of some kind. It's also partially obstructed.

[Blaine Gibson]

Still some sort of brass pipe.

[Chris Damaris]

I said cylindrical. But it's not hollow, it's solid. Like you can see on the end. It's not like a pipe where you can see through it. Okay.

[Tyler Coe]

Okay. Can I hop out and then try the tongue grab again?

[Chris Damaris]

Sure, yeah. You hop out and use your tongue, grab on it and pull it out. And now that you pull it out, you can see that what you were seeing before was some kind of tarnish. And now that you have it in your hands, you see that it's actually made of iron. And it's an iron cryptix, which is a type of puzzle.

[Blaine Gibson]

I read da Vinci's code.

[Chris Damaris]

It's got three dials on it.

[John Risinger]

What are the different. Like, are there characters? Is it words on the.

[Chris Damaris]

It's letters.

[Micah Solusod]

Letters.

[Tyler Coe]

What are the letters?

[Chris Damaris]

It's like every letter in the Alphabet on all three dials.

[Blaine Gibson]

So a three letter word would unlock it?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, yeah. Like you have to figure out the word to unlock it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, it's like a lock for your bike.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, exactly.

[Blaine Gibson]

But it's usually got something inside of it when you unlock it. And then it tells you that Jesus actually had kids and the secret's hidden in the bottom of the Louvre and you're Tom Hanks.

[Tyler Coe]

I think I know the answer to this, but I don't think it's something that's a word that Gunther would know.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, what's your thought process? Like, how did you get here?

[Tyler Coe]

Three letter word that would melt or that would create water. That's a crystal.

[John Risinger]

Has Gunther shared the information from the scroll and all this stuff?

[Tyler Coe]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. Okay.

[Micah Solusod]

Hey, Gunther. Something I have a lot of experience with, but maybe you do not because you're from an arid desert. There's this stuff called ice, spelled I C E. You wanna try that?

[Chris Damaris]

Ice?

[Micah Solusod]

Yeah. You know what water is?

[Tyler Coe]

Yes.

[Micah Solusod]

So imagine like it's like really cold and then that water, okay. It hardens and then it turns into a crystal called ice.

[Tyler Coe]

With magic?

[Micah Solusod]

Well, you know, with weather and climate change. You know, like the good kind of climate change maybe. I don't know. Something we're probably not experiencing. I don't know.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther nods, but doesn't get it.

[Micah Solusod]

But just trust me.

[Tyler Coe]

Hands you the hands you the thing.

[Micah Solusod]

Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay.

[Micah Solusod]

Thank you.

[John Risinger]

And then I scroll in ice.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. You rotate the device around so that the lock reads I, C, E. Show me ice. With a click, the Cryptix open.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Micah Solusod]

And then I give it back to Gunther. There you go.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is that the fastest we've ever solved a puzzle in entire history of Tales of Sneaky Dragon?

[Chris Damaris]

I thought we'd be here a while.

[Jack Patillo]

My guess was going to be wax.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, that's good too.

[Chris Damaris]

That's good.

[John Risinger]

It's ears. Yeah, yeah. Phil one's ears.

[Blaine Gibson]

Wax crystals. There's this thing as wax crystals.

[Tyler Coe]

So it opens up and then what? What's inside?

[Chris Damaris]

If you want to find out what's inside, you need to listen to the next episode of.

[John Risinger]

You're punishing us for solving puzzles.

[Chris Damaris]

Good.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, we're doing what you asked.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm punishing you for taking over an hour in the first room. If you want to find out what's in what's in the cryptics, tune in to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Next week we'll have an episode of Second Wind talking about this. Maybe we'll delve in a little more into what was going on in here and and next campaign episode we'll pick.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It up and how can people watch Second Wind?

[Chris Damaris]

Gus, what a great question. You can watch Second Wind if you are a member of our patreon. Go to stinkydragonpod.com or if you're a member over at beacon at Beacon TV. Don't forget to head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com to fully outfit yourself in a world of stink. With all of our stinky apparel and other stinky goodies available. Again, that store.stinkydragonpod.com and I have it on good record that every purchase directly supports Tales from the Stinky Dragon podcast. Pass it on. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a [e-mail] or become a member of Beacon at Beacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and member only Discord for their respective platform. Become a patron. Hey, you get your name shouted out just like Wayne Junk, ABC Compton, Alicia Johnston, Al Yex and Gold and Arkuven Silverling. These patrons directly support the show. They get ad free episodes, access to our Patreon only Discord server and bonus content like second winner behind the screen and so much more. Again, that's tikidragonpod.com can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Want to give a thanks to some friends of ours who did voices for characters in this episode, like Doug's brother, voiced by Andrew Rosasandurosis IG from Midnight Snack TV Gottfried voiced by Tyler Coe Tyler Co. Greta voiced by Michelle Everheart at Michelle Fagali Mr. Gigglesworth voiced by Jack Patillo at Jack Patillo Jarl Ironclad voiced by Adam Ellis at Adam E. Ellis and Private Kangenos voiced by Jillian Maroney. Jillian from Red Web podcast. I know those people. This week's error question was submitted by Spork. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Tyler Coe]

Gunther. Gunther goes and gives Daddy N. I almost. I was like matid. Gunther goes and gives Matid.

[Blaine Gibson]

Nope.

[Chris Damaris]

Nope.

[Micah Solusod]

God.

[Blaine Gibson]

I just love that this is Chris trying to actually succeed in like a sentimental real moment. And he is failing in the way that Chris Damaris can fail in these moments.

[Chris Damaris]

Take three.