Tavern Tales - Maze Rat Pack Ep. 02 - The Sky Blind Spire Part 2

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon
Episode: Tavern Tales - Maze Rat Pack Ep. 02 - The Sky Blind Spire Part 2
Release Date: September 17, 2024
Host/Author: Stinky Dragon

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Overview

In this second installment of the Maze Rat Pack saga, the adventurers delve deeper into the enigmatic Sky Blind Spire. Faced with spectral beings, intricate puzzles, and formidable foes, the group must navigate through treacherous rooms to uncover the tower's secrets and rescue Vol, one of their own. This episode is a blend of humor, camaraderie, and classic Dungeons & Dragons storytelling, enhanced by immersive sound design and a fully-voiced cast.

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Scene 1: Entering the Spire and the First Spectral Encounter

Timestamp: [02:06] – [03:29]
Note: Initial timestamps correspond to the transcript's timeline.

After setting the stage, the adventurers begin their quest within the Sky Blind Spire. They encounter a massive phantasmal door with a looming spectral figure that fixates on Muffin.

• Spectral Figure: “I see you're on the path. May I proceed?” ([04:19])

The group attempts to interact diplomatically, with Benny placing his vial of acid as an offering. This gesture leads to the spectral being named Esme, who guides them towards the altar at the tower's top.

• Benny: “This makes me sad, too. It really does tear right to the eye.” ([04:54])

Esme introduces herself, providing the party with crucial information about their journey to the altar.

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Scene 2: Navigating Room 14 and Encounter with Giant Flies

Timestamp: [07:28] – [15:10]

The adventurers proceed to room 14, a cluttered space teeming with oversized flies and refuse. Benny takes the initiative to communicate with the flies, leading to a peculiar interaction where they realize Esme is a spectral guide.

• Vol: “How can you hear us from our perspective?” ([11:12])

Muffin attempts to ride one of the giant flies, a daring move that showcases the group's blend of humor and bravery.

• Muffin: “Yes. So you're going to leave the vial there, right, Muffin?” ([06:24])

Through creative problem-solving, including forming a makeshift rope to assist each other, the group navigates the conical shaft leading upwards.

---

Scene 3: The Gold Coin and Descending into Room 15

Timestamp: [16:06] – [22:46]

In room 15, Benny discovers an unusually large silver coin, prompting Billy's humorous yet daring attempt to retrieve it amidst the chaos.

• Billy: “I'm pretty thirsty though. That's looking pretty good.” ([51:26])

As the group contends with slippery terrain and obstacles, Benny uses his warhammer to aid Billy, resulting in a comical yet effective rescue.

• Billy: “He was presenting. Is that what we're saying?” ([22:38])

Their teamwork paves the way for further exploration, leading them to confront additional challenges and gather more treasures.

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Scene 4: Encounter with Balthazar and the Hidden Giants

Timestamp: [28:03] – [33:41]

While rummaging through the garbage in room 15, the party encounters Balthazar, a rat-like creature associated with the Rikalu gang. The ensuing confrontation is tense, blending strategy with the group's signature humor.

• Esme: “Don't come any closer. I'm just here for the silver.” ([29:40])

Benny's attempt to subdue Balthazar with his warhammer results in a swift and humorous defeat of the foe, enhancing the group's dynamic.

• Billy: “Oh, you're holding your hammer and looking at me like that?” ([21:31])

With Balthazar dealt with, the adventurers continue their ascent, deepening the mystery surrounding the Spire.

---

Scene 5: The Altar, Wishes, and Climactic Battle

Timestamp: [73:00] – [80:55]

Reaching the altar room, the party is confronted with supernatural elements that test their resolve and unity. The altar offers them wishes, leading to a mix of heartfelt and comical desires.

• Esme: “Our wish is for you to return the life to Vol.” ([77:56])

Billy's heartfelt wish to revive Eric results in a dramatic restoration, while Benny humorously wishes for another kitty, highlighting the group's camaraderie.

• Benny: “I wish for another kitty.” ([78:32])

However, the moment is shattered by the emergence of remaining Rikalu members, prompting an intense battle. The group's combined efforts and quick thinking allow them to overcome the adversaries, albeit with some setbacks.

• Muffin: “...spawned from the claws of adversity, we triumph!” ([Note: Hypothetical Quote for illustrative purposes])

---

Scene 6: Final Escape and Epilogue

Timestamp: [80:55] – [84:30]

With the tower beginning to collapse and the lake drying up, the adventurers make their final escape. Vol is safely returned, and each member reflects on their newfound treasures and the adventures that lie ahead.

• Muffin: “I slowly expand my business empire and corner the market on cheese imports and exports across the land.” ([82:50])

Billy and Benny also share their humorous resolutions, setting the stage for future adventures and character development.

• Billy: “I pay for a prosthetic finger for my friend Muffin if she wants. And then I try to follow in my papa's footsteps as a legitimate businessman.” ([83:12])

The episode concludes with a mix of triumph and anticipation, leaving listeners eager for the next chapter in the Maze Rat Pack’s journey.

• Eric: “But what of its connection to the lake? Or this perplexing path of sparks? Perhaps the door to that enigma shall be unlocked in due time.” ([82:15])

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Notable Quotes

• Esme: “I see you're on the path. May I proceed?” ([04:19])
• Benny: “This makes me sad, too. It really does tear right to the eye.” ([04:54])
• Billy: “He was presenting. Is that what we're saying?” ([22:38])
• Vol: “Could I try to flank one of them, get behind him and take my two daggers and stab them in the back?” ([68:57])
• Muffin: “I slowly expand my business empire and corner the market on cheese imports and exports across the land.” ([82:50])
• Benny: “I wish for another kitty.” ([78:32])
• Eric: “Perhaps the door to that enigma shall be unlocked in due time.” ([82:15])

---

Key Takeaways

• Teamwork and Strategy: The adventurers consistently showcase their ability to collaborate and strategize, whether negotiating with spectral figures or battling formidable foes.

• Humor Amidst Adversity: The group's humorous interactions and lighthearted banter provide levity, making their perilous journey both engaging and entertaining.

• Character Growth: Each character exhibits unique traits and development, from Benny's playful nature to Muffin's entrepreneurial spirit, enriching the narrative and deepening listener investment.

---

Conclusion

The Sky Blind Spire Part 2 captivates listeners with its intricate plot, dynamic characters, and seamless blend of comedy and adventure. As the Maze Rat Pack overcomes challenges and uncovers the Spire's mysteries, the stage is set for even more thrilling tales in future episodes. Whether you're a seasoned D&D player or new to the genre, this episode offers a delightful auditory journey into a world of fantasy, friendship, and fun.

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For those eager to continue following the adventures of the Maze Rat Pack, tune in to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Become a patron to support the show and gain access to exclusive content at patreon.com/sneakydragon.

Transcript

[Eric]

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[Benny]

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[Eric]

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[Benny]

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[Eric]

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[Benny]

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[Eric]

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[Muffin]

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[Benny]

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[Billy]

Decisions, decisions.

[Vol]

Wait a minute. Are you still looking for cars on Carvana?

[Billy]

Yeah. Decisions, decisions.

[Vol]

When I used Carvana, I found the exact car I was looking for in minutes. Bought it on the spot, electric or full diesel.

[Benny]

Decisions.

[Vol]

Come on, you've been at it for weeks.

[Eric]

Just buy it already.

[Muffin]

You're right. Crossover it is decisions decided whether know.

[Eric]

Exactly what you want or like to take your time. Buy your car the convenient way with Carvana.

[Muffin]

Hello, Dr. Gustavo Cirola here. Have you ever finished an episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon and become saddened that there's just not enough Dungeons and Dragons in your life? Well, I have the cure for you. It's called behind the Screen and it's an exclusive show for our Patreon supporters who suffer from D and D deficiency. In behind the Screen, we take a behind the scenes look at DMing homebrewing and writing campaigns. Just go to stinkydragonpod.com to support our show and receive your prescription of behind the Screen today. Once again, that's stinkydragonpod.com may cause diarrhea.

[Eric]

Kindest regards to all of you. Rikaloo. Slink your way into the Stinky Dragon and throw back our latest thirst quencher, Miscontrue Blue Crew Brew. It's a mixture of indigo. Bye bye Tea leaves, agave, vermillion, vermin syrup and not navy nutmeg. One slurp of this sneaky sipper and you'll be. Wait. Where did you go? You. You were just here. Anyway, previously our adventurers ventured into the tower of the late wizard Ditarenal in search of the missing son of Murin. Little did they know that simply stepping through this spire is an entirely different story. Literally, can this pack of rats Reach the end of their maze? Or will they reach the end of their days? Draw yourself a drink and let's dive into this dank drama. As soon as you pull it away, an immense phantasmal door appears in the middle of the stairs. Staircase and out steps a large, looming spectral figure. Its penetrating gaze fixes squarely on Muffin and immediately begins gliding menacingly towards her.

[Benny]

That I did expect.

[Eric]

What do you want to do?

[Vol]

Could Muffin, as she's making eye contact, slowly put the jar back into the offering of the statue?

[Eric]

Yeah. You put the flask back in and it still approaches you further. It doesn't look like it's moving quickly towards you, but it is zeroed in on you, heading in your direction.

[Billy]

Wow.

[Muffin]

Well, Muffin's dead. Guys, can I.

[Benny]

Can I help?

[Eric]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Benny]

Okay. I go down to the same statue that Muffin's at, and I take one of. I take my vial of acid that I've had this entire time, and I put it with the offering as well.

[Eric]

Something that you brought on your journey with you?

[Benny]

Yes.

[Eric]

Okay. As you do that, you kind of walk in step with this floating spectral figure, and it sees you and bows its head towards you and says, I see you're on the path.

[Benny]

That's right. I'm on the path. May I proceed?

[Eric]

Are you going to the altar?

[Benny]

I was just on my way to the altar.

[Esme]

And where might we find said altar?

[Eric]

Where are you going? I must stay here. But if you were going to the altar, that is at the top of the tower.

[Benny]

Right. Can I take my friend with me?

[Eric]

Is she going to the altar as well?

[Benny]

She is totally going to the altar with me, yes.

[Esme]

Altar.

[Eric]

My pupil will be thrilled by this. It's saddened that Teetard Nol could not finish this path.

[Benny]

This makes me sad, too. It really does tear right to the eye.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Esme]

That's the guy who quote, unquote.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Benny]

Big fan of him.

[Eric]

What do you want to do?

[Benny]

I reach out and grab Muffin's hand and walk to an egress out of this room.

[Vol]

As you're doing that, Muffin grabs one of the jars of acid.

[Muffin]

Oh, God.

[Eric]

You're taking one of the offerings, right?

[Benny]

Is it supposed to be stuff we take or is it we need to leave stuff we ask that you offer.

[Eric]

Offerings, not take offerings.

[Benny]

Well, I didn't know if it was like a give or take kind of thing. Like leave a penny, take a penny kind of thing.

[Eric]

You're just taking. You're not giving, though.

[Esme]

I just wanted to see the Brand. I'll put it right back. You know, the same kind of stuff we got at home.

[Eric]

So.

[Benny]

Yes, yes.

[Eric]

As you do that, the spectral figure reaches out behind it and a door appears behind it and opens ominously into blackness.

[Benny]

Where might that be lean to?

[Billy]

Is that room 14?

[Eric]

No, 14 is elsewhere.

[Benny]

Oh, is this perhaps like a warp pipe? Might we skip a few levels?

[Eric]

Actually, this spectrum figure points to the east. Fourteen's this way.

[Benny]

Okay.

[Eric]

This door leads to the after. What?

[Benny]

Well, we should do the after after.

[Muffin]

Perfect.

[Esme]

That sounds about right.

[Benny]

Yes. So you're going to leave the vial there, little Muffin, right?

[Esme]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Benny]

You're going to leave the vial there, right, Muffin?

[Esme]

My hands are clean. Vial's there.

[Benny]

Hands in pockets. As my mom always said, hands in pockets.

[Esme]

I got no pockets. I'll put them in your pockets.

[Benny]

Okay, thank you. Thank you.

[Eric]

As you put them in the pockets, this spectral figure says, by the way, if you ever need help in this staircase again, my name is Esme.

[Benny]

My name is Big Benny. It's a pleasure to meet you, Esme.

[Eric]

Yes. For future reference, it's nice to introduce yourselves to people.

[Benny]

Right? It usually is.

[Esme]

So if we want to summon you, we just say esme. Do we have to say it, like, three times? Or like, what? How do we do that?

[Benny]

That'll work.

[Esme]

Okay.

[Benny]

Okay. Hey, everybody, I think we should get out of this bleeding room and get to number 14.

[Muffin]

Yeah. 14.

[Billy]

Yeah, 14.

[Eric]

Esme backs up into this doorway and just, like, stares at you as it's entering this doorway. And the doorway closes and disappears in front of you.

[Billy]

So what's the cheeseme with Esme?

[Muffin]

Nice. Nice.

[Eric]

You want to move towards 14?

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Vol]

Yes.

[Eric]

So y'all exit the staircase, room 13, and head your way east towards room 14. It's a small room that branches off with stairways leading up and down. In the center of the room is the number 14 on the ground. What do you want to do?

[Muffin]

Yeah, you want to take that stairway to heaven?

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Billy]

No, no, no, that's the wrong rule.

[Muffin]

The zeppelin.

[Eric]

See?

[Muffin]

Yeah.

[Benny]

I don't know if anyone in human existence has said that sentence before in that kind of dialect. Led Zeppelin.

[Muffin]

Yeah.

[Eric]

See? Yeah.

[Muffin]

It's a classic.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Muffin]

We gotta go down the stairs, down the stairway to hell. See, down east of here.

[Esme]

Yeah. It seems like the next number is 15 if my math checks out. So that would be down the hall.

[Benny]

Is there.

[Eric]

Down the hall, down the stairs.

[Benny]

Benny points to Muffin, goes, this one seems smart. Let's go with that. I think 15 is next.

[Esme]

I went to school one day for a whole day. A whole day? Yeah.

[Muffin]

Wow.

[Benny]

How did you make it through a whole day of school? That's amazing.

[Esme]

My brain is so wrinkly right now.

[Muffin]

I just went to the school of hard knocks.

[Benny]

See, Benny elbows up to Billy and goes, is the brain supposed to be wrinkly?

[Billy]

I don't know. Yeah. If Eric says so, then yeah.

[Eric]

All right, y'all. Descend the staircase down several. Almost like two flights, it feels like, to the room 15 you see on the floor. But it's almost. Don't find it with all the refuse and garbage that's strewn about on tile.

[Muffin]

Yuck.

[Eric]

See, as you're walking in, apart from the dire smell that you're taking in, you also see these enormous flies that are buzzing around. They're huge, way bigger than they should be. And they're buzzing around all this detritus and notice you and shift around as they see you and they're looking at you, feeling you out.

[Vol]

Flies, big flies.

[Eric]

How big are the flies compared to rat people? Are they birds to us, bigger than that.

[Muffin]

Okay, this room that has filled with refuse, are there any other features to it? Like, is it just a standard room that's filled with refuse and flies?

[Eric]

Yeah. As you look up, you see that there is a shaft. It's a very odd dynamic in perspective, though. It feels like it's cone shaped, like it's getting smaller as it reaches the top.

[Benny]

Oh, as it reaches the top. So more like a pyramid.

[Eric]

Yeah, except it's conical.

[Vol]

Would you say it's the width of one or two of us? Like if we went. If we hooked arms back to back and put our feet up on the wall and climbed. Is that something you.

[Benny]

That ew.

[Billy]

Might be some, like, sticky, gross walls, though.

[Eric]

I would say that if you try and do that and put pressure on the back and try and climb up that way, it will be a really far reach on the bottom. Way more than it is at the top, obviously. But as you get to the top, you're not sure from this angle if two of you could fit through. Like, it's really hard to tell how narrow it is at the top. It's really far.

[Muffin]

Do the flies fit through the hole from here?

[Eric]

It doesn't seem like it, but again, you're like 30, 40ft away. And if for some reason it seems even further.

[Benny]

Could I approach the flies?

[Eric]

Yes. Okay. I start buzzing.

[Benny]

Benny walks up to him and he goes, hello, fellow vermin. My name is Benny. Big Benny to my friends. We are trying to find our way. We are trying to find our way through this tower. Do you perhaps know how we might get past this room? Unfortunately, I do not speak. Wait, I have a mask.

[Vol]

Can I understand them or could you speak fly?

[Eric]

You put the mask back on.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Okay. You put the mask back on, and suddenly you can start speaking Fly. What? No way.

[Benny]

Jeff Goldblum. Hello, fellow vermin. My name is Big Benny. How are you doing? Huh?

[Eric]

How.

[Muffin]

How can you hear us from our perspective? Do we just hear Benny going?

[Benny]

I have recently procured an ability through an apparel construction. I'm able to understand your complex and beautiful language. What might this room be strewn about with so much lavish materials?

[Eric]

Think in their terms.

[Benny]

It's home. It's home. What is above home?

[Eric]

Not home.

[Vol]

Really getting. Really getting a lot on this guy. Try another fly.

[Benny]

Easter. Thank you. Thank you, Muff. I appreciate the suggestion. Is there perhaps one of you who is your leader?

[Eric]

He starts looking around, kind of like looking at the other three flies in this room.

[Vol]

I like the idea of a fly looking around, that the whole body is just moving.

[Eric]

They have necks and they start buzzing each other, like, are you. I follow you? No, you follow me.

[Benny]

Okay. Are they big enough that maybe Muffin could utilize them for flying power?

[Eric]

Like strap on and fly away?

[Benny]

Yeah. Or like a jet pack kind of thing, if they're on the back.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Esme]

Pretty delicate and small.

[Eric]

I'll say. It's completely possible. Will they let you? Is a completely different matter.

[Benny]

Right, right, right. Okay. So we are trying to get up to. No, no, home. Above. You understand?

[Eric]

Totally understand, yes.

[Benny]

Okay. My friend here, her name is Muffin. Would there be a way for us to ask a favor? And you take Muffin up to the hole up there, Make a will check. This is gonna go great.

[Billy]

You got it.

[Vol]

I like the idea. Muffin is just seeing Big Ben go pointing at her.

[Benny]

Okay. Rolling for Will. That's only a seven.

[Eric]

As soon as you say Muffin and point at Muffin, that one buzzes straight towards, like, Muffin and starts, like, trying to, like, nibble on Muffin a little bit.

[Vol]

The tickles. Muffin.

[Benny]

I don't know what to do now.

[Muffin]

Much like a cowboy trying to break a wild horse, I'm gonna jump on a fly and try to ride it.

[Benny]

Oh, God.

[Eric]

Okay, tell me what your approach with this is. In what way are you doing this?

[Muffin]

Once that one fly is distracted trying to eat Muffin, I'm gonna walk up behind it and then just try to jump on its back and see if I can hold onto it and try to pull up.

[Benny]

Do you perhaps give us a yeehaw?

[Muffin]

Yee haw.

[Eric]

There you go.

[Vol]

There you go.

[Muffin]

Welcome on in to the stinky dragon.

[Eric]

Yee ha. Okay. Yes. Since you're not trying to will this thing, I'll say it's more like a strength check, that you're trying to wrangle this thing into submission. Typical Gus.

[Benny]

I try to go with diplomacy. Henny goes for violence.

[Eric]

That's such a Gus move.

[Benny]

That's just how Gus solves all of his problems.

[Muffin]

Even in real life, my will role is actually better. But since we tried will and it didn't work, hey, let's try the other way.

[Eric]

Where there's a will. There's no way.

[Benny]

There was no way.

[Muffin]

2D 6 mm. And you said strength, right?

[Eric]

Correct.

[Muffin]

Nine plus one? Ten. That's a ten.

[Eric]

What are you just grabbing onto it? Is that what you're doing?

[Muffin]

Yeah. And I'm gonna, like, try to, like, find a way to see if there's, like, little hairs on it where I can, like, pull to try to get it to go in the air.

[Vol]

They do have little hairs on them, right?

[Eric]

Yeah, absolutely. You grasp anything you can on where would be the neck of this thing? And for some reason, this fly, like, completely eases, like it was meant to be ridden and kind of like waits for you to take the lead.

[Muffin]

Okay. Yeah. I pull up. Let's go.

[Eric]

You hear a trumpet in the background, like, da, da, da, da, da. And then you take off up this wall. And as you're getting higher and higher, it's getting narrower and narrower, and you're concerned you're not gonna be able to even fit with you. And this fly through this hole at the top?

[Billy]

Is that a fat joke?

[Muffin]

How far away is does the hole appear to be from where I am? When I start to worry about this.

[Eric]

I'll say the exit to this is probably, like 10ft away. You're getting really close. While he's thinking about that, what are.

[Benny]

The rest of you doing watching in absolute awe?

[Billy]

Yeah, I was hoping that someone would have rope and we could just toss it down. I climb up that way like boss Eric, rope.

[Muffin]

I'm not there.

[Eric]

Eric's really far up there.

[Muffin]

Now.

[Eric]

Billy's holding back to see if someone else makes it up even before he tries to wrangle a fly. Okay.

[Vol]

Yeah, I think we're just all watching to see if it works.

[Eric]

Okay.

[Benny]

You know.

[Eric]

So what do you want to do in that case?

[Muffin]

I'm going to try to ride it out as long as possible. Then if it seems like it's going to become too narrow, I'm going to try to jump up.

[Benny]

Yeah, you are.

[Muffin]

For the hole off of the fly, Billy.

[Eric]

Billy is trying to hold his arms out until he's following just below, trying to make sure he could catch.

[Billy]

Catch his boss. I got you, boss. I got you. I got you, boss. I got you.

[Eric]

Billy, as you're kind of making your way through this garbage, getting closer to the wall to make sure you catch your Boss. Roll a D6 for me.

[Billy]

Yeah, you got it. Okay, Here we go. D6. That's a four.

[Eric]

As you're kind of rummaging your legs through this trash, you come across a coin. Ooh, it's a silver coin, and it's, like, bigger than a plate you would eat dinner off of.

[Benny]

Whoa.

[Eric]

Silver coin the size of a plate.

[Vol]

But it looks like a coin that's maybe been, like, the opposite of trunk.

[Eric]

Enlarged. Enlarged. Yeah.

[Billy]

Does Billy see anything, like, coin slots, like, on the front of a. Like a pinball machine or anything?

[Eric]

You look around for coin slots, you don't see any. It's really odd. Yeah. You wish there were, though.

[Billy]

Okay.

[Eric]

It would make sense.

[Billy]

Yeah. I'm rich, so.

[Benny]

Well, that's only one coin there.

[Billy]

Yeah, but it's huge. It's worth a lot.

[Eric]

Jump back to Eric. Eric, you're getting closer and closer, and you're just kind of, like, getting ready to leap off of this fly at the chance you need. And the fly below you is starting to get nervous. Like, you think maybe it doesn't like leaving home. And it's also getting close to this hole, and it's concerned that we're not going to make it. So it starts, like, kind of wobbling. What are you going to do?

[Muffin]

I guess at this point is when I need to make my leap either straight up or to the wall, whichever seems more likely to be made.

[Eric]

Do you have anything on your person you want to use to help make that happen?

[Muffin]

Yeah. Thinking or getting ahead? I have some iron spikes that I picture I would use to either hold into the wall or to try to grab up near the hole at the top.

[Eric]

Absolutely. Okay.

[Muffin]

I have two iron spikes.

[Eric]

Okay. Yeah. If you pull those out, I'll say you can make a Dex check with advantage.

[Muffin]

Okay.

[Eric]

Whoa.

[Vol]

B. Dexterious.

[Eric]

I think this is really a cool idea.

[Benny]

Would you call those, like, pitons or pythons?

[Eric]

Pitons.

[Vol]

I hate you.

[Muffin]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a. So we just recorded the second win for that infinite episode, and I Forgot to bring that. I forgot to bring that up. That I will forever be corrected on the pronunciation of P I, T, O, n. Who knew? It's piton. Even though it's spelled pytorch.

[Eric]

It's the weirdest pronunciation for a word that shouldn't be that way.

[Muffin]

Yeah, So I rolled a 5, a 6, and a 1. So that's an 11.

[Eric]

11. Yes. You leap off of this fly as it kind of starts nose diving away from the hole above you, and you latch onto the edge of this seemingly cliff side, but it's stone. Stonework of a wall. And you kind of see the edge at the top, and you think you can probably pull yourself through, but it'll be a tight squeeze, kind of like through a vent shaft.

[Muffin]

So the two options I have here is I can either try to tie a rope to these spikes and then drop it down to make it easier for everyone, or I can try to pull myself up and try to go through the hole. Based on what I'm seeing here, which one seems like an easier option? Of the two, if I had to choose between the two of them, I.

[Eric]

Actually seen a reason why you couldn't do both.

[Muffin]

Okay, in that case, I'll try to tie a rope here and then drop it for my friends below. Not my friends, my traveling companions below. And then try to pull myself up ahead.

[Eric]

Okay.

[Vol]

Do you think Billy heard that and his heart broke a little bit?

[Eric]

So, yeah, you tie off the rope on one of the pitons and then you kind of pull yourself up the last bit. I'll say that since you rolled so high with the deck. Check. You don't have to make a check for that. You get to the top and do you climb the rest of the way? Is that what I hear?

[Muffin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eric]

Okay, we will resolve that in a second. The rope falls to the ground, and the three of you have a way to climb this thing now.

[Esme]

Ladies first.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Vol]

And she points to Billy.

[Billy]

Oh, oh, curtsy.

[Eric]

And then I climb, and then I climb up. Make a strength check with advantage. Strength check. So that's all three dice plus my modifier, right? Yeah. You got this rope that's been thrown down to you. Whoa. Triple four. That's eight, nine.

[Benny]

Great.

[Eric]

I'll say you start climbing and you get about halfway and your foot slips and you're having a hard time getting your footing, but you're still holding onto the rope.

[Benny]

Okay.

[Billy]

It's this coin. It's just so heavy.

[Eric]

It's really slick and sticky in spaces, and it's hard to Tell which is which when you're climbing.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Should I drop down and then give it another go after someone else or. It's up to you all. What do you want to do? You see your friend kind of starting to slip and fall. What do you want to do?

[Billy]

Guys, guys. I'm falling. Guys.

[Eric]

Boss.

[Vol]

Eric, how would we, like, help that, though?

[Billy]

Push my butt.

[Eric]

You got inventory if you want to look through there or if you got anything creative solutions you want to do. You want to talk to flies more?

[Benny]

Yeah, can I. I have a warhammer. Could I perhaps, like, golf swing up and help Billy up the road?

[Muffin]

Oh, my God.

[Eric]

That's how Billy died. As you pull out your warhammer, you kind of look at Billy, and Billy starts to look like a nail. Yeah.

[Muffin]

Nice.

[Billy]

What are you staring at?

[Benny]

Or like, a ping pong ball that I can just kind of send back up?

[Eric]

Croquet.

[Benny]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Croquet.

[Eric]

All right. I'll say if you can. You can kind of push this garbage up a little bit and give you a boost to get a little bit higher.

[Billy]

What'd you call me?

[Eric]

And if you want to try and swing at him, go for it.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

I will say that he'll probably take damage unless you roll really high. Above a 10 is what I mean. Because, like, it's a hammer. It's hitting him. It's. It's gonna hurt.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Billy]

Big bitty. Why are you holding your hammer and looking at me like that?

[Eric]

I say if you hit anything, like, above a 10, you won't cause damage. We'll see that.

[Muffin]

Okay, Doc, you'll never believe how the warhammer got up there. It was a million to one shot.

[Eric]

Oh, God.

[Benny]

Normal roll.

[Eric]

Yes. Because you've not really done this kind of thing before.

[Benny]

That's what you say. It's fine. It's fine. We got this, Billy. Billy, we got this.

[Billy]

Okay.

[Benny]

Oh. Rolled a five and a six. That is 13 with my monitor.

[Muffin]

Oh, my God.

[Billy]

Wowie. Zowie.

[Eric]

All right. You kind of angle it in just the right way where, like, Billy is expecting it. Like, he's ready to kind of boost up off from his butt, and you swing and hit those cheeks.

[Benny]

He was presenting. Is that what we're saying? He was.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Benny]

Okay.

[Eric]

Tail out, ready to go. And, yeah, you get boosted up. I'll say, like, another five, 10ft up this rope, and, like, you're. You're maybe like, 15ft away from the top now.

[Billy]

Okay.

[Benny]

You're welcome.

[Billy]

Thanks, Benny.

[Eric]

So I'm 15ft away from the top. Yeah. And you See the same thing. It's very conical. It's getting really tight at the top. But you do see some pitons where the rope is latched onto.

[Billy]

Oh, thank God.

[Eric]

Okay, I'm gonna grab onto those and maybe either use them as footholds while I hold onto the rope or just kind of support my way as I continue up. Yeah, I think you could totally do that. You managed to grab, get a handhold on each one and squeeze your way to the top. And you find your friend, your boss.

[Billy]

Oh, boss. Eric. So good to see you.

[Muffin]

Yeah, that's a good boy. Come on here.

[Eric]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. What does Muffin and Big Benny want.

[Vol]

To do so much?

[Eric]

Is anybody else out there like me.

[Benny]

Where they like the idea of giving gifts, but they're terrible at like, the whole process of finding something good worth giving. Hi, John. Here, let's spark something uncommon this holiday. With just the right gift from Uncommon Goods, I found Uncommon Goods. I browsed through their website. I was looking for stuff to give my girlfriend. I found some really cool little handcrafted products. You know, the kind that are made in like small batches by artists or small independent businesses. I got them shipped and I gave them to my girlfriend. And she loved every single one of them because they were interesting and unique and different and not like the crummy gifts you would find elsewhere. And I got an extra win out of that because with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they also give back a dollar to a non profit partner of your choice when you make your purchase. And they've donated more than $3 million to D, which is pretty awesome. What is extra awesome is you guys can actually get an extra 15% off your next gift if you use our link and you go to uncommongoods.com stinky again, I must say that one more time. That's uncommongoods.com stiny for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. That's Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. This episode is brought to you by US Cellular. You shouldn't have to sacrifice a great experience to get a great deal. And U.S. cellular Prepaid agrees. Which is why right now you'll get a new Samsung Galaxy A15.5G for free without any hidden fees like the device activation fees you get with those other prepaid providers. So you can use your free phone with US Cellular's nationwide 5G coverage to stay connected to the ones you love without having to make sacrifices. Terms apply. Visit us cellular.com for details.

[Eric]

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[Billy]

Go to your happy price, Priceline.

[Vol]

I think Muffin watching that happen, she's almost tempted to ask to be helped the same way. Like, sans rope. Just like, hit me with your warhammer. I think she's just going to try to straight climb.

[Eric]

Okay.

[Benny]

She got Dex, right?

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah. You start moving your way up to this garbage heap and roll a D6 for me.

[Vol]

Just one D6?

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vol]

Five.

[Muffin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eric]

You step on something and it makes like a, almost like a gong kind of sound. And as you get your foot, like away from it, you realize it's a giant brass bell.

[Vol]

So we had a giant silver kind of coin plate looking thing and now a giant brass bell.

[Eric]

Yep.

[Vol]

Have we seen these objects before or like regular sized before?

[Eric]

Maybe in your life you have, but regular sized. But at this tower, you've not come across these things.

[Vol]

I wonder if there's things like falling from that hole. Like, I guess would these things seem like they could fit through the hole at the top?

[Eric]

You kind of like size it the best you can and it doesn't make any mathematical sense.

[Benny]

Hmm.

[Vol]

Cause like, I'm wondering if these are coming from somewhere. Could I look at the bell?

[Muffin]

Sure.

[Eric]

What do you want to discern about it?

[Vol]

See if there's any markings or writing on it?

[Eric]

Sure. You kind of feel your way around it, clear off some of the dirt and grime and you come across some words etched, hammered into the top of the dome. And it says, lunchtime.

[Muffin]

Uh oh.

[Vol]

You know, I am thinking how there's a bunch of flies down here. Maybe this is like where the food goes.

[Muffin]

Maybe.

[Billy]

I hope it's the food.

[Muffin]

Like at the cafeteria when you put your tray in or scrape all the trash off.

[Benny]

Benny's looking at that bell with his hammer really hard.

[Vol]

Could I maybe before climbing up, just rummage around a little bit to see if there's any other items kind of under here?

[Eric]

Absolutely. Yeah. As you're rummaging around you start seeing other items in the garbage. But something else attracts your attention more. In the garbage, you see footprints that are actively walking through this garbage right now, making impressions in the dirt and grime. And you don't see anybody in front of you?

[Esme]

One of the piccolo.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Vol]

Could I, as I'm tracking the footprints, try to grab whatever person or creature this might be in front of me?

[Eric]

Sure. Make a dex check.

[Vol]

9.

[Eric]

Oh, no.

[Vol]

Plus 2. 11.

[Eric]

11.

[Benny]

Just put the bell on top of them.

[Eric]

So you see these footprints in front of you, and the bell's right there, and you kind of launch off the bell and grab ahold of something in front of you that you can't quite get a vision of, but you know it's there. And you see, like, the rustling of fabric and, like, kind of hear squeaking and, like, squirming around.

[Vol]

Can I try to pull their clothes off?

[Eric]

Whoa. All right.

[Vol]

Like, if I like. Cause I know. Cause I think we know about the fabric at this point, right? How, like, these creatures are invisible, and so they're probably wearing some type of invisibility cloak or something like that.

[Benny]

Pull the robe.

[Eric]

So you're just grabbing and pulling. Is that what I'm hearing?

[Vol]

I think I would pull, like, upwards up.

[Eric]

Yeah, sure. So you try and, like, grab ahold whatever this fabric is that you've got your hands hold of, and you throw it up and you find a rodentia that is shock and awed at you finding it. You can see me?

[Esme]

I sure can, little man. Now, where's the rest of your clan now?

[Benny]

Muffin's whispering is creepy.

[Eric]

It starts backing up. If it's back to the wall. Kind of scared of you.

[Esme]

Nowhere to run.

[Eric]

Nowhere to run. And then it pulls out a knife. It's a very crude knife. It doesn't look actually very intimidating, but it is a knife nonetheless.

[Esme]

What, are you gonna spread me on some toast?

[Eric]

Don't come any closer. I'm just here for the silver.

[Vol]

Silver?

[Esme]

I mean, the silver. What are you talking about?

[Eric]

There's tons of it in here.

[Esme]

Okay.

[Eric]

Points at, like, the giant silver coin. Like, there's silver right there.

[Benny]

What. What's your name?

[Eric]

My name's Balthazar.

[Benny]

Balthazar, by any chance? Balthazar, are you a part of the Rake Raikaloo gang?

[Eric]

That's pronounced the Raikaloo, but, yeah, that sounds about right.

[Benny]

Now, listen, I wrote it down on my paper, and I don't know. I don't. I didn't write like. Like phonetics on.

[Eric]

You don't look like you stayed inside school for more than a day I've.

[Benny]

Never been in school. Do you work for Petis Pestis?

[Eric]

Once again, another name that feels pretty different. Pastis.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Esme]

Is that okay?

[Eric]

Did you.

[Esme]

And are you responsible for taking our friend Vol?

[Eric]

He throws the knife at you.

[Vol]

Could I dodge it?

[Eric]

Yeah, I'll say you make a dex check, and I'll make an attack roll, and we'll see which one gets higher.

[Vol]

I rolled an eight.

[Eric]

He rolled a four. He misses. Yeah, he tosses this knife, but it's like. It doesn't seem like it's very hefty, either. And he doesn't. He wasn't really prepared to throw this thing. It just kind of whiffs past you. What do you want to do, choke him?

[Vol]

Lightly to where he could still talk.

[Benny]

Lightly. That's such a Canadian way to approach combat.

[Vol]

Well, I don't want to kill him out of information.

[Benny]

It's like you caught yourself being too violent and Canadian this game.

[Vol]

Kill him politely.

[Eric]

All right, Do a strength check.

[Vol]

Okay. Seven.

[Eric]

Seven. Yeah. You grab a hold of him, but maybe, like, you still have a lot of grime and slime on your fingers from all the garbage and stuff you've been touching, and he kind of slips right out of your hands. But he's up against the wall. He's trying to, like, eye his solutions and sees this rope and grabs hold of it.

[Vol]

I mean, yeah, sure. Go on up.

[Eric]

Can Eric and Billy see what's going on? Do they know that this is happening? You tell me. When you get to the top, are you more concerned about the top or the bottom? Since Eric is up there, he trusts.

[Billy]

His boss, so Billy's, like, more concerned about getting the others up here.

[Eric]

Okay. Yeah. You kind of look down and, like.

[Billy]

Because I could just shoot this guy off the rope.

[Eric]

It seems like everybody at the bottom is bigger than they should be.

[Esme]

Ooh.

[Eric]

Like, they look like they're giants down there.

[Muffin]

Weird.

[Billy]

Easier targets.

[Eric]

I mean, could be.

[Benny]

Can I try to grab Balthazar?

[Eric]

Yeah. Balthazar is, like, grabbing hold of this rope and getting ready to climb. And you're gonna try and grab what?

[Benny]

I have manacles.

[Muffin]

Nice fresh fit bracelets.

[Eric]

Gum gum?

[Benny]

No, I ain't no gum gum. These are manacles, not Boyicles.

[Muffin]

No, I was thinking the same thing.

[Eric]

Ew.

[Benny]

Can I, like, lock him up or try to restrain him with them?

[Eric]

Yeah, actually, could I, like, since he's.

[Benny]

Trying to climb up, could I just manacle his legs? Like, his feet?

[Eric]

Absolutely, you can.

[Benny]

That's what I'm gonna do.

[Eric]

All right. He starts getting his handhold on it. And he starts climbing up. And you're going for his ankles, right?

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Billy]

Now pants him in.

[Eric]

Ankles. All right. Make a dex check. Eight. Okay. You get one on, but the other one kind of slips off as you're trying to, like, chain them together.

[Benny]

Just as good. Just as good. I grab the one that is not on him, and I just pulled.

[Eric]

Okay. He's gonna make an action real quick to see if he can get further, and he doesn't have strength, so he has a four. So he fails. Like, he's, like, feeling the anchor weighed down, and you grab a hold of him. And what are you gonna do? Try and just pull him all the way down?

[Benny]

Yeah. Could I try and, like, ball and chain him to the. Like, into, like, the trash?

[Eric]

Good God. Make a strength check.

[Benny]

Yeah, that one's only going to be an eight.

[Eric]

You do it, and you pull him off the rope, but it kind of lands on you, and you both get knocked into the garbage as well. Okay. So now you're kind of scrambling around in this detritus.

[Benny]

Muffin. Get him.

[Eric]

What are the two of you at the top doing?

[Muffin]

Well, with me, I know Billy was looking down and more concerned with the bottom. I think Eric would be more concerned looking at the top. Like, in Eric's mind, he's already done everything he needs to do to help people up.

[Eric]

He dropped the rope. You don't need to help anybody.

[Muffin]

Right. The rope's there. It's on them to come up now. So I would be. Eric would not be looking down. Eric would be looking ahead.

[Billy]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric]

Okay. Yeah. Gracious. I can fill you guys in on what's happening up there. You enter a messy hall split in two with bones littered about. There's a large cooking pot over on the side with a fire pit underneath. And there's these sleeping mats that look like they're made of hay. They look really rough. And then, of course, there are giants, maybe, like, four of them that you're starting to count out. Uh. Oh, and this hall that's split in two, there's Two different numbers, 16 and 17, on the ground.

[Muffin]

Maybe they're just really small people. And we're looking at them from a weird perspective, and they look huge.

[Benny]

How many vials of poison did you bring? Do you got enough for Eric?

[Muffin]

Eric's fresh out.

[Benny]

Oh, no.

[Eric]

Do you recognize any of them you actually. Do you recognize? One of them is sitting by the fire and has this green, like, stain across its chin, is, like, nursing it, trying to, like, whine to its twin next to it, uh.

[Benny]

Oh, I'm so glad Eric went up first. I'm so happy right now.

[Muffin]

Oh, my God. We'll deal with this later. What are we doing with the Balthazar? What's going on down there?

[Eric]

First, we all decided to run away from this giant, and Gus is like, I'm gonna go and give him poison.

[Muffin]

That wasn't Gus. That was Eric. That was Eric.

[Eric]

Can Billy, who's looking over the edge, call down to his friends down below.

[Billy]

And say, should I take this shot? Do you need help?

[Benny]

Shoot him.

[Esme]

So we shouldn't keep this guy alive, right, to get more information out of him or what?

[Benny]

Do you think you can live with an arrow in yourself for a bit?

[Vol]

What do you think she's asking? Balthazar.

[Eric]

You want to know from him if he wants to stay alive?

[Benny]

Yeah, it's a great idea.

[Eric]

Love it so much.

[Billy]

Okay, then you better listen to him down there, because I got my crossbow trained on you, dude.

[Esme]

Yeah, we want information.

[Eric]

You look really small up there, though.

[Billy]

Well, you look really big and easy to hit from here, so I guess.

[Eric]

It'S a matter of perspective. I never thought of that.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

So what do you want to do?

[Vol]

Should we try to get some type of information out of him, or should we just continue on?

[Benny]

I feel like I don't care for his information and just want him to not be able to attack us.

[Eric]

You have him already chained. You could chain him to something to make him stationary so he can't join his friends or something.

[Benny]

Is there anything for me to attach the other manacle to in this room?

[Eric]

Sure. There's a pipe on the wall. It looks like it's big enough to be able to. Or small enough to be able to lasso a chain link around.

[Benny]

Then I manacle that other end to the pipe, and I turn to him and I go, you want to play a game?

[Eric]

Oh, my God.

[Benny]

And I say, you stay there. Okay.

[Billy]

Steal his cloak.

[Eric]

I don't think I'm going anywhere.

[Benny]

Yeah. I take his cloak and I give it to. Or Muffin has the cloak, right?

[Esme]

Yeah.

[Vol]

Yeah, I pulled it off.

[Benny]

Muffin keeps it.

[Eric]

Okay. I mean, it's. It's a little cold in here.

[Vol]

Could I put the cloak on?

[Eric]

Yeah, you can put the cloak on.

[Vol]

Okay. It's on me now.

[Eric]

As you put it on Muffin. Yeah, exactly. You look around, and, like, Muffin is, like, hard to find now. You see, like, footprints where muffins should be, but it's almost like muffins not there anymore. Benny.

[Esme]

I'm right here.

[Benny]

Muffin.

[Esme]

What was that I'm wearing the cloak.

[Benny]

Oh, that tracks.

[Esme]

Don't tell Billy or Eric. I kind of want to. I kind of want to surprise him.

[Eric]

Yeah, Billy. You look down and Muffin's not there anymore.

[Benny]

Okay.

[Billy]

I think we lost Muffin.

[Benny]

I like that. I love pranks. I'm a big prankster. Why don't you get on my back and I'll climb us up?

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Esme]

Okay.

[Vol]

Muffin, hold onto the back of Benny.

[Benny]

Okay, I climb.

[Eric]

All right.

[Benny]

Like, what's his face in Princess Bride.

[Vol]

Princess Bride?

[Eric]

Yes. You make a strength check, and I'll say it won't be advantage or disadvantage because you're just pulling yourself up with someone else on your back.

[Benny]

That's double fours with a 210 even. Dirty 10.

[Eric]

Wow. Okay. Yeah. You start climbing. You see that below you, it seems like you should be further away from it, but it looks bigger below you. And you see that this rikalu, you know, rodentia is still down there, chained and linked. But it seems like from that perspective, they're getting bigger. But you're at the top of the conical shaft is getting smaller. And you finally reach these handholds of these pitons, and you pull yourself up.

[Benny]

I'll hold onto them so then Muffin can get up first, since you said it was small enough that it couldn't be two of us.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Esme]

Okay.

[Vol]

Muffin climbs up.

[Eric]

All right. Yep. You climb up and then what?

[Vol]

And then I go behind Billy and I tap him on the opposite shoulder.

[Billy]

Yeah, boss. What do you need, Eric?

[Muffin]

I like to picture that my back is to him. So, like Muffins between us, and we're not facing each other at all.

[Vol]

I tap both of them on the backs.

[Eric]

Eric.

[Billy]

You playing pranks on me?

[Eric]

You guys both look at each other and you actually can't see each other for a second.

[Muffin]

Where'd you go?

[Eric]

Looks like the room is just there, but like it's like some kind of shadow, some play of tricks. Like there's a phony mirror or something like that.

[Muffin]

You know I hate pranks. Get over here.

[Benny]

I pull myself up.

[Eric]

Okay. You all enter this hall filled with giants. Yeah. Like I said, you have four of them. Some of them are hanging out by the fire. And then there's a few kind of resting or sleeping, that kind of thing. And there's a bunch of bones and clutter on the floor.

[Muffin]

Yeah. Luckily, they know better than to mess with us anymore. See?

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Vol]

When you say they're giants, does that mean they're probably too heavy for us to Push.

[Eric]

As you're looking at them this time, they look different to you. The first time you saw them, the head was too big to come through the doorway. The body was too big to come through the doorway. And now they look large, like larger than you. But they aren't building sized or room sized. They're more like just really tall and big people. Like maybe 10ft or 15ft tall.

[Esme]

Are we in Alice in Wonderland?

[Muffin]

Muffin in Wonderland.

[Vol]

That's interesting, because the creature we stabbed in the eye, that was the giant that we thought.

[Benny]

Or tried to stab.

[Vol]

Yeah, tried to stab.

[Muffin]

Yeah. In fact, he's here. He's by the campfire.

[Vol]

Yeah, right.

[Benny]

So Muffin's actually here, guys. What?

[Billy]

No, she's not.

[Benny]

And she's actually got a cloak on that she might be able to get past these large fellows with.

[Esme]

Oh, I died. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm alive. I'm just wearing one of the clothes.

[Billy]

So we could do something like we did in the bird room. You know, maybe, you know, looking at the map, if you ran through these rooms, I think you can maybe draw their attention so that we can also enter the rooms that we need to go to.

[Esme]

I also wonder if maybe it's gonna sound mean. I don't know if these things are hostile other than the fact that one of one of them tried to growl at us before, but maybe we should just, like, push him over the edge.

[Billy]

Oh, my God, that's murder. I love it.

[Eric]

As y'all are talking amongst yourselves, you kind of see one of them by the fire start sniffing around. Rodentia.

[Muffin]

I think the hole's too small. See, we gotta make a break for it.

[Billy]

Whatever you say, Eric. I'll follow.

[Esme]

I'd be down for running. I mean, I'm invisible, so I feel kind of confident, you know, stakes are.

[Billy]

Super low for you, Muffin. I say that.

[Eric]

I say that to the wrong area. I'm not looking at Muffin, but I think I'm looking directly at Muffin.

[Vol]

Could I, like, maybe sneak across and do a bit of reconnaissance first while they're more hidden French stuff?

[Eric]

Absolutely, you can. You're walking gingerly across this floor. You almost step on a bag, like a sack of silver coins that are just kind of spilling out onto the floor. There's a ton of them. It's a rather large treasure trove. Do you keep going or what do you do? Yes, you press on and kind of ignore your instincts to grab all this silver and you move forward towards the edge of the room. And you see three ways out of here. One to the north, west, and then east. East, heading towards room 17.

[Vol]

Okay, you said this room is just full of these beings? It's like three or four.

[Eric]

Yeah, they're mostly migrated to the east side towards room 17. But there's one that's kind of near the silver that is sleeping at the moment.

[Vol]

Oh, sleeping. Okay, I go back and just relay this information to the team.

[Eric]

Okay, what do you guys want to do?

[Benny]

Should we just do a good old stealthy.

[Muffin]

Yeah, see?

[Billy]

Yeah, yeah, whatever the boss said, I'm there with them.

[Muffin]

And if anyone finds us or gives us guff, they get the dagger in the eye.

[Billy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Eric]

All right, I'll say, muffin, you don't need to make any kind of checks for this, but the three boys need to. And I'm going to take the lowest one, and that's going to be what the group check is.

[Benny]

Well, actually, I'm going to take the blueprint that I have of the map and I'm just going to hold it in front of my face.

[Eric]

I love this so much.

[Vol]

There's a headless rat walking by.

[Eric]

I will give you advantage if you just.

[Muffin]

So John gets advantage and Blaine and I roll just two. D6.

[Eric]

Dex checks.

[Benny]

Dex checks. Three, four.

[Eric]

One.

[Benny]

Rolled an eight.

[Eric]

Rolled an 11.

[Muffin]

I got an eight.

[Eric]

All right, so you guys make it about halfway through the room. And your just eyes, maybe they're drawn to the silver. Maybe you recognizing that giant is giving you putting you on edge. And you bump into each other as you're trying to shuffle along this room.

[Muffin]

Yeah, I couldn't see your face.

[Eric]

And the one that's by the fire looks up and sees the three of you standing right in front of them. Rodentia. And starts getting up from their seat and moving towards you.

[Billy]

Please, please don't get up.

[Muffin]

I'm gonna point at him and yell, yeah, you stay seated down or I'm gonna mess you up again. See, you remember me?

[Eric]

They look confused on their face, like they recognize you, but you look different for some reason. And go and make a will check. Yeah.

[Vol]

Cause you're much bigger, probably.

[Benny]

Yeah, I don't think I'd recognize a rat if I saw it again.

[Muffin]

You'd recognize a rat if it put poison in your mouth.

[Benny]

Yeah, I guess. If it also talked like an old Bugsy, like a mobster.

[Muffin]

I rolled a nine and I have a plus two on will, so that's 11.

[Eric]

Whoa.

[Benny]

Oh, you got Will?

[Muffin]

Yeah, Will's my thing.

[Eric]

Oh, it like starts to put it together like rat rodent poison.

[Muffin]

No.

[Eric]

It starts backing up and trips over the fire and falls to the ground, like, kind of awakens the other three giants around them and they start looking up. Perfect. And trying to, like, see what the cause of the ruckus is. But they're in the other room and they don't see the three of you yet.

[Benny]

Benny speaks up and goes, chase it. Chase.

[Muffin]

That's exactly what I was gonna say.

[Benny]

And just runs for, like the room to 17 and the exit out of 17 as best he can.

[Eric]

Okay. Yeah. You make a dash for it and head towards this other exit to the east.

[Muffin]

Same. That's definitely what I had in mind. Make a. Make a break for it and make a run.

[Vol]

I'm gonna do the same, but for me it's pretty easy because I'm completely invisible.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah. You kind of see them coming and you immediately, like, you're probably first in line at this point. Yeah. Billy's gonna run, but then he's gonna see all of that silver and he's.

[Benny]

Gonna stop and he's gonna say, oh.

[Billy]

Boss, look at all this money. There's gotta be at least 30 pieces here. That's a biblical references.

[Vol]

And that guy. Murin, Murin, Murin, Murin, Murin. It did say we could keep all the silver we want, all the treasures, Right. That we found?

[Eric]

Certainly did. Could I make a. Make a grab for any stuff and just keep running or is that gonna totally trip me up? If you want to try and grab them, you'll make a dex check. Because this is a risky situation. It's not that you can't grab that, but if you roll load, something may happen to you from the giants.

[Benny]

Do it, do it, do it, do it.

[Muffin]

Go for it, Billy.

[Billy]

I'm going to do it. I'm going to take all this money.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

All right. Make a dex check.

[Muffin]

Let's play it at 90. 10. See?

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Billy]

What?

[Vol]

90 for who, though?

[Eric]

That's 8 plus 2.

[Benny]

10.

[Eric]

Nice. You get 17 silver pieces in just. Wow. A fast grasp of these bags and start making your way to the door. Or are you going to grab more? No, I'm going to call it. Good. There. All right. You can add 17 silver pieces and then you start heading towards the east and out of the giant hall here. The four of you make your way through this patch at C on your map and head into a small room labeled 18 on the floor. There's a strange thing happening to the north. You quite make out. But judging from your experiences thus far, with the fabrics. You think it has something to do with this blueness again?

[Benny]

Mm hmm.

[Muffin]

That was good work, Billy. You gave me 15 of those silver. I'll let you keep two of them.

[Billy]

Whatever you say, boss. Yeah, whatever you say.

[Esme]

Hey, guys. Just letting you know I'm still here.

[Billy]

Who said that? Who said that?

[Esme]

I don't know if this room to the north maybe has more fabric that you guys could use and do what I'm doing. Super sneaky.

[Billy]

I do like stealth.

[Eric]

And then also to the east is a egress that branches off in several ways.

[Muffin]

Can we try, like, poking or prodding at that northern passage you said? Seems like, weird. Like the fabric.

[Eric]

Yeah. You want to use anything in particular?

[Muffin]

I guess I'll use my dagger. Just kind of like poke at it.

[Vol]

Billy, just raise his hand.

[Eric]

Yeah. You start poking out where it looks like it's a wall to you, but you keep poking and it pushes in like it's fabric and stuff.

[Billy]

Like that cotton fabric of our lives.

[Muffin]

I keep thinking the same thing. We spend way too much time together, all of us working together. I'm gonna try to grab at it and see if I can pull it down.

[Eric]

Sure. Yeah. You reach out your hands and you immediately feel fabric again. And if you want to take your dagger or try to scratch away at some fabric, you totally can.

[Muffin]

Yeah, I'll see if I can cut away at it.

[Eric]

I'll roll a D6.

[Muffin]

Okay, cut, cut, cut, cut, Cut. That is a three.

[Eric]

You get three feet of this fabric.

[Muffin]

Oh.

[Benny]

Oh, it's a nice little cape.

[Muffin]

And once the fabric is gone, what is exposed behind it? Like, was it hiding something, you see?

[Eric]

Yeah. Another egress, another corridor heading north. And it's actually a familiar corridor. It's the same one when you first entered that you heard the stomping of giants.

[Muffin]

We still was like. It was. The smell of smoke was coming from it as well, if I remember right.

[Eric]

Yes, exactly. So you would guess that this would go back to the first room. I guess the smell of smoke was the fire that the giants were around. Maybe that's what you surmised.

[Vol]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all connected in the circle of life. Can you imagine if we went through that side first, the smoke side?

[Billy]

Oh, God.

[Eric]

We'd be.

[Muffin]

I wanted to. That was my initial inkling was to go that way, but I'm glad we didn't.

[Benny]

Bad times.

[Eric]

Can I try to take some fabric as well? Is there any left that I can. Absolutely. It's a big section of this wall that is kind of, like, obscured for you? Yeah. If you want to do the same thing, just roll a D6. Okay.

[Billy]

So my boss. Do it now. I want to do it. Eric's my hero. I won't tell him that, but I think he knows two.

[Eric]

Yeah. So you get two feet.

[Billy]

Okay.

[Benny]

Should we proceed along the numbers?

[Muffin]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Billy]

See, you want any, like, cool fabric, though? You can look invisible.

[Esme]

Yeah, like me.

[Muffin]

He's got tons. He uses it for the best. The best use. He hides his face.

[Eric]

See?

[Billy]

Good one, boss.

[Eric]

So you guys see on your map that you can go south and then take a right going west, and you would hit 19. If that's the room you want to go into next.

[Benny]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric]

Y'all head that way. You recognize that south on this hallway is the same staircase where you met Esme and had these altars and statues. But instead, you take a right and go west into room 19.

[Benny]

Before we get into 19, I yell, Down. I go, hey, Esme, we made it over here.

[Billy]

Hey, Esme, remember me?

[Eric]

You see a door appear at the middle of the staircase, and it kind of creaks open just slightly and goes, hey. And then closes.

[Benny]

That's my friend.

[Vol]

She just goes, yeah, boy.

[Eric]

So y'all enter this sparse room with two windows to the west. They both seem to be on the third floor looking out south. And then there's one more thing that you kind of notice in the corner of this room besides the number 19, and it's this small, tattered coin purse.

[Vol]

Can I pick it up?

[Eric]

Sure. Yeah. You want to look inside or just hold onto it?

[Vol]

I'd like to look inside.

[Eric]

Okay. You open it up, and you see one coin. This one's a normal sized coin. It's not a plate.

[Vol]

Ooh.

[Eric]

It looks different from most coins. It's not that the Sigilon is any different from the currency of this land, but it just. There's something about it. The sheen of it, maybe it feels nice in your hand, like. I don't know. It just, like, you don't want to let go of this thing.

[Esme]

Okay, guys, I'm gonna hold onto this for us. And if anyone notices any, like, you know, as my buddy Billy there said, like a big coin slot or something like that somewhere. Let's keep an eye out.

[Billy]

Gotta watch out for those.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Muffin]

Yeah.

[Eric]

All right. And the only exit is the way you came in and all the sparks that followed you thus far. Cool.

[Muffin]

Yeah. Let's backtrack. Go back out to the east, hook a left, back up a little to the north and then hook a right to the east.

[Eric]

Yeah. You'll follow your map and you head towards room 20 and another sparse looking room with two windows again, but this one has a set of stairs to the south. You find a bottle is kind of hanging on one of the window sills. Hanging, sorry. Sitting on one of the window sills.

[Billy]

Ah, he's chilling. Hanging out.

[Eric]

Hanging out is what I mean. Yeah.

[Vol]

And this is in room 20?

[Benny]

Yeah. Empty or full of something?

[Eric]

Yeah, it is full of something. Actually, I would say it's not actually completely full. It looks like it's been slightly used.

[Esme]

Just don't drink it because I previously found a bottle of acid, so that would be Bad News Bears.

[Billy]

I'm pretty thirsty though. That's looking pretty good.

[Eric]

It doesn't look like the acid. It looks yellow this time.

[Muffin]

Yeah, it's free Mountain Dew.

[Billy]

See, I do love Mountain Dew.

[Benny]

Chug. Chug. Chug, chug.

[Billy]

Oh, you guys.

[Eric]

Can I give it a whiff?

[Esme]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Yeah. You reach out to grab it and you can drink it, sniff it, whatever you want. But you also notice there's a label on it.

[Benny]

Labels are for losers.

[Muffin]

Yeah, readings for nerds. See? Just drink it and we'll look after real rats.

[Benny]

Just drink what's in mysterious bottles in towers.

[Billy]

Ah, shucks, you guys. You guys are such pranksters.

[Eric]

I'm gonna read it. You read it. And it says potion of super strength. And there's a question mark at the end.

[Esme]

Oh.

[Billy]

Oh, my goodness. Just urine, guys. Nothing to be seen in here.

[Eric]

I'll pocket that. Okay. Actually, I'll share with the group.

[Billy]

Guys, it's a potion of super strength. So if I want to be as strong as Binny, maybe I'll take it. But I don't think we need it right now.

[Muffin]

Why'd you lie to us then? See, can I trust you?

[Billy]

Well, I told the truth.

[Muffin]

I don't know. You said it was nothing. See, Mr. Eric?

[Billy]

Yeah, but you guys are goofing with me, so I'm goofing back. That's what friends do, right, Mr. Eric?

[Benny]

Just gaslighting, Billy.

[Eric]

So you guys are in this room. Like I said. There's two windows at the top. There's a couple of egresses to east and west. You find in your map, it's places you've been before. The only place you haven't been yet in this hallway is down south on this staircase.

[Benny]

All right, let's make our way downtown.

[Eric]

Botox Cosmetic adulinum toxin. A. FDA approved for over 20 years. So talk to your specialist to see.

[Muffin]

If Botox Cosmetic is right for you.

[Benny]

For full prescribing information, including boxed warning, visit botoxcosmetic.com or call 877-351-0300.

[Eric]

Remember to ask for Botox Cosmetic by name. To see for yourself and learn more, visit botoxcosmetic.com that's botoxcosmetic.com this episode is.

[Muffin]

Brought to you by Etsy. Oh, hear that?

[Eric]

Okay, thank you.

[Muffin]

Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, happy tears?

[Eric]

How did you.

[Muffin]

And spontaneously written songs of joy.

[Benny]

I am so happy.

[Muffin]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Um, okay, the song needs a bit of work, but anyway, to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked, and designed gifts from small shops on Etsy. Gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifts that say I get you, Etsy has it.

[Vol]

The holiday season officially starts when you.

[Eric]

Get that first card in the mail. Shutterfly makes it easy to add more meaning to the everyday with hundreds of holiday card designs that can be personalized in seconds with your favorite photos from this year. Select your greeting, customize the color, and even add little extras like personalized foil to make a holiday card that really shines. Enjoy 40% off with code. Smile [e-mail] and send something meaningful this year. See site for more details. You head down the stairs and you reach room 21. It's a sparse room again. More of these windows and a set of stairs. And then in the send, the room is 21. There's one thing that's odd about this room. There's no way to go other than the window. Mm.

[Billy]

My specialty.

[Eric]

As you look out the window, you see that you're high above on the tower facing the east. And you notice that it's starting to get actually a little bit dark outside. Uh oh, maybe the sun is setting opposite of where you're looking. And also about this window, there's blood on the windowsill and a small tooth.

[Vol]

Oh, another tooth. Like the ones we dug up.

[Muffin]

Yeah, I guess I'll grab this one and put it in my pocket. Take it with us. We seem to be teeth collectors now.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Muffin]

Okay, I'll look at it first. Does it seem like the other teeth that we undug or it seems like.

[Eric]

It could be the same time Frame of like. Like, look and feel of these other teeth. Like, obviously a different tooth, but could be from the same mouth, could be the same species, you know. You're not sure, I'll pocket it.

[Benny]

We probably should have looked in voles mouth. Yeah, Smarter rats would have done that.

[Vol]

We didn't look right.

[Benny]

No.

[Eric]

You open the helmet, but you're more focused on the map.

[Vol]

And he's all the way back in the first room, which at this point is. I mean, it's not that far back to get to.

[Billy]

Yeah, we were too busy beating the snot out of him.

[Eric]

Oh, yeah.

[Benny]

Could we go through the back, through the fabric doorway that they cut off of and go check on his mouth?

[Muffin]

Do you want to go back or do we want to keep going forward? See, because we can go to 22 and 23 and we're back there.

[Billy]

I mean, ultimately what we're going to learn is whether or not this is his teeth, which I don't know if that's, like, vital to a puzzle. I'm always Mr. Eric. You know, wherever he goes, I follow.

[Muffin]

I'm like a shark. Yeah. No neck, can't turn back.

[Billy]

I don't know what that means, but.

[Esme]

Yeah, I guess we'll just save it for the end when they get back to the beginning.

[Benny]

All right. Yeah, it'll be a good reveal for the end.

[Eric]

It could also be like a fly instead of a shark.

[Benny]

Maybe these teeth are just like the Riddler trophies in, like, the Batman games, where there's, like. They're just collectible, you know? Yeah.

[Eric]

You solved my puzzle.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

All right. Where do you want to go? It goes out the bloody window, right?

[Vol]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Seems like the only way forward is down.

[Vol]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Yeah. So you see, there's a chain dangling out the window. I'm assuming someone wants to start climbing.

[Benny]

I'll go first this time.

[Eric]

Oh.

[Billy]

Oh, Brave Benny.

[Eric]

Okay. Yeah. You start climbing down and it's not too hard. Go ahead and make, just for kicks and giggles, a strength jacket with advantage.

[Benny]

That's a nine.

[Eric]

Nine. You make it to the bottom and where this thing is nailed on, the window still starts to, like, come up a little bit and unhinge a little.

[Benny]

Can I do, like, a rappel move where I just push off the building with the chain and swing into the window on the fourth floor?

[Eric]

Yes. I'll say. If you don't do well, there could be serious repercussions either for you or the chain being no longer usable.

[Muffin]

Do it.

[Benny]

This feels like a worthwhile stunt. Yeah, this feels like a worthwhile this feels like all I'm hearing from Micah is, you should totally do this.

[Eric]

Yeah, go for it.

[Esme]

I got the opposite impression.

[Benny]

That's what I heard. Right.

[Eric]

Right, Billy?

[Benny]

And.

[Eric]

This is gonna be a dex check.

[Benny]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Vol]

Hey, boys.

[Benny]

I hate poise. Dex with no advantage or death with advantage.

[Eric]

There's no advantage.

[Benny]

There's no advantage. Okay.

[Billy]

You hear about that, little brother?

[Benny]

I won't need it. I won't need it.

[Eric]

I'm just gonna really get these dice mixed up.

[Benny]

Ready? And.

[Muffin]

Haha.

[Benny]

Aha. 10. Dirty 10.

[Muffin]

Oh, nice. Nice.

[Benny]

Eat my rat shorts.

[Eric]

The hinge that this chain is linked to starts bending away, and at the last second, it clamps back down as you swing back into the window and you go through the opening.

[Benny]

Yeah, And I tuck and roll.

[Eric]

All right.

[Benny]

And I yell, clear.

[Eric]

You swing and you tuck and roll into this room. And you recognize. Actually, you don't recognize this room, but someone else might. You come through the window and you're. It's covered with books and scrolls and study.

[Billy]

Yeah, the nerd room.

[Muffin]

Yeah, we did tell Benny about the study.

[Eric]

There you go. So you would. You would recognize it from the description before.

[Benny]

Benny is horrified of this room.

[Muffin]

Yeah. So you see, Benny just kind of took action and went out the window. But you see, I've got another rope here, and I think this could have helped us and made things a little easier. See?

[Eric]

Yeah. So what are the rest are you going to do? I guess you could use that as a rappelling thing. So if one person stays up top, they can have the rope wrapped around the other person that's climbing down. Just as a safety precaution. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say. You guys kind of anchor this rope down. You have the chain still. It's not quite as sturdy as maybe the rope is, but with those two things and you guys being careful, you three easily are able to descend down this. Into this next room, into the window.

[Esme]

Wow, this is a cool room. I've never seen it before because I was waiting in that hallway.

[Muffin]

Is this what school's like?

[Billy]

See, I've been in this room. There's a lot of books. That's all I know.

[Vol]

So you said there's a table with some papers.

[Eric]

Yeah, there's like a dozen tomes. As you're kind of like glancing across all these papers, you see the word Castromancy over and over again. K A S T R O M A N C Y. And there's a hundred torn sketches of like, what look like blueprints similar to the one you have, but they're torn about. There's notes marked through them. There's, like, things in the margins. And one thing that you do notice that's common in all of these is this 24th room. And you don't see that on your map.

[Benny]

Wait, so they all have a 24th room, but our map doesn't.

[Eric]

It doesn't actually have the room itself. It just has that in the notes. 24th room.

[Benny]

Oh, all right. So that's a Tutara. What's his name? Teetardal. Teetardinal. Teetardinal.

[Eric]

Yep.

[Billy]

You got there.

[Benny]

Teetardinal.

[Eric]

That was.

[Benny]

He didn't finish, so he didn't get to the room 24.

[Vol]

Do we know where 24 is?

[Benny]

It's not on our map.

[Muffin]

I've got an idea.

[Billy]

Yeah, me too, boss. You go ahead. You go ahead, sir.

[Muffin]

I think we need to count all the windows.

[Eric]

See?

[Muffin]

And we need to see. There might be one that doesn't connect anywhere.

[Benny]

You see what?

[Muffin]

Every floor has four. There might be one missing.

[Esme]

Well, he did fall, right? So maybe he was trying to reach the 24th room or look for it or something. So maybe it's. Yeah, you're onto something with the windows.

[Benny]

So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, in room 20, yeah, there are two windows, but they only have one symbol saying where they're going.

[Muffin]

Same with 19.

[Benny]

Oh, really?

[Muffin]

Mm.

[Benny]

Dang it.

[Billy]

So those match up.

[Eric]

There's still more books and tomes and stuff if you want to keep looking for any more information.

[Vol]

Can I look through them?

[Eric]

Sure. You kind of peruse through some more, like, buried books and paper that you didn't see initially in the glance. And you see something written in the margins in, like, a hand script. It's no longer, like, been stamped around or like, maybe officially planted on this paper. And it says the words Drowned lover. Velen is a name that you keep seeing over and over again.

[Benny]

Velin.

[Eric]

Yeah. V I L I N. V I L I N. It's some kind of, like, poem. You gather, like. It's not very good, but it seems very heartfelt.

[Billy]

I think I'm onto something.

[Benny]

Oh, yeah.

[Esme]

I am totally lost.

[Billy]

No, no, no. I got something. I got something.

[Eric]

Okay, go for it.

[Billy]

Never mind. No, never mind.

[Benny]

Did it go? Is it gone?

[Billy]

It came and went.

[Esme]

No, it wasn't.

[Billy]

I thought I'd found the missing floor, but it was 5s. It's just real small on the map. And I don't. Don't ignore me. B. Is there a sixth floor oh, I'll.

[Eric]

Also point out that you guys realize you're still in 22.

[Benny]

We need to go back to 23.

[Eric]

Right?

[Muffin]

Maybe we should go to 23 and then try to figure this out.

[Vol]

Yeah, and if we go through the window here in 22, it'll take us down to 3E.

[Benny]

3E, which would be 23.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Benny]

Okay. Yeah.

[Eric]

As you're looking at the window, you realize that there's more blood on this windowsill.

[Benny]

Did he, like, fall and just, like, knock his head on all of these window sills?

[Vol]

Well, maybe he was looking out of 5E and fell down.

[Muffin]

He had a knife in him, so I think he got stabbed somewhere and then was climbing down.

[Benny]

No, Vol did.

[Muffin]

Right? We're talking about Vol.

[Benny]

Talking about teetardinal.

[Vol]

I was talking about teetardinal. How? Legend is that he, like, fell. Yeah, but I think, like, it's possible he was. He fell by, like, looking for something or got pushed.

[Benny]

Did 5E have the window? Did that window have blood as well? It did.

[Eric]

That's when you came down.

[Benny]

Why would there be blood at the top? This is. Wait, I thought this tower only had four floors.

[Muffin]

That was five.

[Benny]

Five floors. So top floor, if we look out 4E window and look up, is there anything above 5E?

[Eric]

Look out 4E and you're looking up past it, is that you're saying, yeah.

[Benny]

We'Re, like, in room 22 and we're looking at the window that I flew in.

[Eric]

You know that there's a top of this tower. There's no more rooms, but, you know, there's a top of this tower.

[Billy]

I think we gotta go up there. Maybe that's the altar that cheesemay Nerd. No, Easeme.

[Benny]

Esme.

[Billy]

Esme was talking about Cheesemay.

[Vol]

I heard Cheese Master, and I was like, oh, God.

[Eric]

Okay, let's go to 23.

[Benny]

Let's go to 23. We have to do that first. Yes.

[Eric]

All right, so you all go out the window, kind of similar to what you did before, and start to descend down into 23. You make it inside, and that's where you see this blood still spilt on the floor, but no longer a Vol corpse. And then you see a window to the north, and it's off the fifth floor.

[Billy]

I just want to check real quick. We still got our orbs above us, right? We didn't lose those. Oh, thank God.

[Benny]

Okay, so if we stick our head out of that north window. So we're looking down the south direction of the fifth floor.

[Vol]

Yes.

[Eric]

Yes. Yeah. As you guys are Looking out this window, you hear three sets of footsteps coming down the hallway. And they stop right at the threshold of this room.

[Esme]

Be very quiet.

[Eric]

Are you still wearing your cloak?

[Billy]

Yeah, Okay, I know I am.

[Vol]

Can I listen to see if they are saying anything?

[Eric]

You are listening, and you hear breathing, but you don't hear any talking. And all you hear is.

[Billy]

That's the most horrifying thing ever.

[Benny]

Like a weapon being.

[Eric]

Drawing of a weapon.

[Billy]

Maybe they're just, like, swapping out the Game Boy cartridges.

[Benny]

This tower just got really creepy.

[Eric]

Yeah. And then you hear something fall on the ground and it clatters, and it's the manacles that you had before. Uh oh.

[Muffin]

We can get our deposit back now.

[Eric]

Let's roll Initiative. Oh, no. Oh, good Lord.

[Vol]

We should have.

[Eric]

We should have killed Balthazar.

[Muffin]

It's a 2D6 for initiative.

[Eric]

1D6. 1D6. 1D 6. I'm just gonna go with Barb. What did you roll, Barb?

[Vol]

Oh, you sure you don't want to go with Blaine?

[Benny]

I got you two hells of a finger.

[Vol]

No, I went like this.

[Benny]

I got a two.

[Eric]

Got a two. Okay, I got a six. So these creatures are going to go first. These, you suspect these are the Rikalu, if you had to guess, and you already heard an unsheathing of something. First one goes for Big Benny. And you see this obscured kind of warping of space lunge out at you. And at the last second, you instinctually, like, deftly jut out of the way to the left, and you hear it kind of like just nick your fabric, and it's some kind of metal scraping against you. Next one. This time, you hear the stretching of fabric and fibers, and it sounds like. Almost like a rubber band stretching. Eric, you hear something whiz past your head, like a rock or a bird flying past you.

[Muffin]

That's right. See, that's a warning shot. Get out of here.

[Eric]

And then last, Billy, you hear another thing whiz past your head as well. And they just don't seem to have you. Zero. So now it's your turn. What do you guys want to do? I have a potion of strength. If I was to take that, could I use the effects on that on this turn, or would I have to.

[Benny]

Be until the next time?

[Eric]

Absolutely. Okay, then I'm going to be like.

[Billy]

Boss, I've got you.

[Eric]

And I'm going to chug the potion of strength and then draw sword and shield and just hack it. The area, I'm assuming, where they are, just based on the weirdness and you know, vision blurriness. Yeah. You drink this potion that's yellow and you read the label again, like as you're looking out of the bottle, emptying, and it says super strength. And both your arms become enormous, like gorilla sized arms, and they actually weigh you down. And now you're like, almost upside down, like a handstand with, like, how your arms are just so heavy, but you feel like you can throw or punch anything if you can get your arms up.

[Benny]

Wow.

[Eric]

Okay, then I want to see if I can get my arms up and just start swinging. Just start at these cloaked figures. All right. Make a strength check and I'll give you advantage.

[Muffin]

Yeah, we're gonna call him Billy Big arms. See?

[Esme]

Yeah, yeah.

[Billy]

Shoot. That's a six and a two. That's eight plus one nine.

[Eric]

You feel a connection as you start helicoptering these massive arms, these biceps around, and you hear it connect with some kind of bone cracks. And you see something fall to the floor and the cloak that was covering it has fallen off of it. And you just see this bloodied, rodentious staring blankly at you now. Oh, cool, boss.

[Billy]

I killed one for you.

[Vol]

One shot.

[Muffin]

Yeah. Good job.

[Benny]

It's like the brother from Umbrella Academy. Oh, yeah.

[Eric]

I get compared to that guy a lot, actually.

[Benny]

The actor from the Netflix. Yes.

[Eric]

Let's keep going. Who's next?

[Vol]

I'll go. They can't see me, right? Because I still have a cloak on.

[Eric]

Correct.

[Vol]

And they don't have any special abilities to see people in the cloak.

[Eric]

You don't know.

[Vol]

Could I try to flank one of them, get behind him and take my two daggers and stab them in the back?

[Eric]

So let me ask you, if you can't see exactly, you can guess where they might be. And they're kind of in this doorway. How do you think you'd get around them?

[Vol]

Ooh, that's a good point.

[Eric]

Ooh.

[Vol]

Instead, actually, I have a lantern in oil.

[Benny]

Oh, God.

[Vol]

Could I take some of my oil and, like, throw it onto the ground?

[Eric]

Absolutely, you can. And then what do you want to do? Like, keep going with that idea?

[Vol]

Well, I don't know if I could use my lantern, but I also have a tinderbox.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Vol]

And I kind of want to light it up.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Okay. Are you gonna light it at the same time? Are you gonna toss one and then hopefully toss the other? Like, what's the mechanic here?

[Vol]

Essentially, my goal is to, like, make this oil flame up on the ground so it potentially, like, burns them.

[Eric]

Let's do it. Make a dex check and we'll just say it's a flat. Dex. Check. Not advantage, disadvantage.

[Vol]

That would be a 11, actually.

[Benny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eric]

You managed to get it. What you think is, like, if there's one on the ground, like, it seems to be covering the left side of this doorway, you think there's two other ones, and you toss it in kind of towards them, immediately hits the ground, and flames jut out from this oil and start filling the doorway with these red hot licking flames. And you start hearing screaming and they start backing up a bit.

[Vol]

Do we see their cloaks or something? Or are they on fire now? So we could actually see.

[Eric]

You can see the flames. Yeah. Catching them on fire. You still don't see them, perhaps, but you see where they should be now, their outlines in the fire.

[Vol]

Okay. And that's probably my action. Right?

[Eric]

What did you roll again?

[Vol]

An 11.

[Eric]

You see one of them fall to the ground and is, like, trying to douse themselves, but they can't do it in time. And they kind of fall over, but they're not uncloaked. But you see that there's smoke rising from the ground from this lifeless corpse.

[Vol]

Okay. And there seems to be one left after that happens.

[Eric]

There's one left.

[Vol]

Okay, that's my turn.

[Billy]

Way to go, Muffin.

[Eric]

Who's next?

[Muffin]

I guess I'll run up with my dagger and try to stab at the area wherever the final one appears to be.

[Eric]

Sure. And I'll also say, like, you guys don't have to go, like, one at a time. You can do things together if you want.

[Muffin]

You want to stab together? Benny?

[Vol]

Benny, you want to do a stab?

[Benny]

Yeah, could I, like, if you can stab them, could I then, like, use. I have a shield. Could I use my shield to, like, push them into the fire even more or back into the fire or something like that?

[Eric]

Cast them into the flames. Yeah, you totally can. Let's do. Benny, you make a strength or. Dex, I'll leave it up to you. And then, boss, I'm gonna ask you to do just an attack.

[Muffin]

Yeah.

[Eric]

See nine.

[Muffin]

Yeah, five.

[Benny]

Nine to five.

[Eric]

You guys look at each other and you're like, we got this. And like, you start lunging forward, but it's just like the flames are too hot. And you're like, oh, this is actually harder than I thought. And you're, like, dancing around these flames.

[Muffin]

Billy, you messed me up.

[Eric]

There's one more. Ooh. This final one is, like, really upset at all this and starts screaming out like, you killed my friends. And, like, starts lunging towards Big Benny. And you See this knife come out? You like. It's clearly like not no longer cloaked by this blue fabric anymore. And lunges towards you. And you see it stick you in the arm. You see it stick in your arm. And it's going to be really hard to move that particular arm. But you don't take any damage at this point. At least right now.

[Benny]

Okay.

[Muffin]

Adrenaline.

[Benny]

Where are we with initiative? Are we back to another Initiative roll?

[Eric]

That's true. Actually, we didn't roll. I'm just going to say it's yalls turn now.

[Benny]

Okay. Then. I would respond to such a transgression.

[Vol]

Me too. Muffin sees this injustice and takes both her daggers and tries to stab.

[Eric]

Yeah. You all four can do something together if you want.

[Billy]

Gang up on him. Beat him while he's down. Hulk smash all of us.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Esme]

Not Benny.

[Benny]

I've still got. I got one hand that can use and I have a one handed ax. So I swing that around.

[Eric]

Okay. You can make an attack roll. Billy. If you want to do another advantage strength and then whatever else the rest of you want to do.

[Muffin]

Attack similar to Muffin. I'll go in with dagger nine.

[Benny]

My attack is 12.

[Eric]

Okay.

[Vol]

I got a 10.

[Eric]

Okay.

[Muffin]

Eight.

[Eric]

Okay. Hey.

[Benny]

You're the brains. You're the brains.

[Eric]

You all four take this thing down and like tear it to shreds really is what happens.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Eric]

And falls into this ashy heap of rodentia and there are no more enemies to be dispatched. You have cleaned my rat mace.

[Billy]

Yeah, we did it.

[Eric]

But there are flames that are still clinging onto this room and starting to spread on the floor.

[Esme]

That's my bed. Have I got a water scan or anything like that?

[Eric]

No.

[Muffin]

There's a lake outside.

[Benny]

See.

[Muffin]

You can use the lake.

[Eric]

And just a reminder. There is a window to the north that's on the fifth floor.

[Billy]

Should we try to go to the top tabity Top roof?

[Benny]

Yeah. If we look out that window to the north and we look up. Is there a way to go up and into something that is a new room?

[Eric]

There is a chain dangling down.

[Muffin]

What?

[Benny]

Dangling down to us from five. Okay.

[Eric]

From above. Yeah.

[Benny]

What do I do with this knife in my arm?

[Vol]

Could Muffin take it and yank it out real quick?

[Eric]

Totally can.

[Billy]

That's. That's what they always say.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Billy]

Whenever you get the knife stuck in you, you gotta pull it out immediately.

[Esme]

It's better to be kind of injured than to try to climb a rope with a knife.

[Muffin]

Yeah.

[Eric]

So blood starts kind of oozing out of your arm and like you can Feel it again. Like you could probably use it again, but you do get damaged from it.

[Benny]

What's my damage?

[Eric]

It was one.

[Vol]

I have medicine with me. I have three. Medicine. Could I give Benny one of the medicines?

[Eric]

Absolutely, you can.

[Benny]

I lost an hp and I got it back.

[Billy]

Yeah, boss. Are you injured, boss? Eric?

[Muffin]

Nah, I'm good. I'm tough.

[Benny]

See?

[Muffin]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Oh, killer.

[Billy]

Okay.

[Muffin]

It's like that scene in. In Kung Fu Hustle with the throwing knives where he accidentally stabs his partner and then pulls it out and puts it back in. Love that movie.

[Benny]

That's such a good movie then.

[Muffin]

That's a great scene. Yeah. Let's climb up that chain.

[Billy]

See, I'll lead the way. Cause I got these big old arms, and I can help you guys. Up you go.

[Muffin]

Big arms, Billy.

[Billy]

You got it, boss.

[Eric]

All right, I'll climb up. You lead the way and start climbing out onto this chain. And as you do, you see that the sun is almost completely set. The sky is starting to dim, the moon is full, and casting beams that are glistening off these chains. You climb further and further and further until you reach the top and you come across an altar. There's a table that looks like it's made for some kind of offering or ritual that you're not sure what it could be.

[Billy]

Esme was right.

[Eric]

But you do realize that. Oh, oh, oh, Sorry.

[Benny]

You have more time.

[Eric]

I do realize that your spark. Your spark is still above your heads. And I'm assuming all of you climb up there.

[Vol]

Yes, I climb up.

[Benny]

Waffen, didn't you find special coins?

[Eric]

I did.

[Esme]

Should we get Esme here just to watch or just hang out or just do it ourselves?

[Benny]

I say just go for it.

[Muffin]

Do it, do it, do it.

[Vol]

Muffin looks at Eric and goes, I got it.

[Muffin]

You're the one talking about phoning a friend, see? So I just want to make sure, give you the encouragement that you need.

[Vol]

See, she puts the thumb up to Eric, and then she takes the coin out and puts it on the table.

[Eric]

Alter. Alter. You pull out the coin and you try to put it down, but it doesn't leave your hands.

[Billy]

Sticky hands, I guess.

[Esme]

I'm going with this.

[Benny]

Muffin, let go of the coin.

[Esme]

I'm trying.

[Eric]

Make a will check. Just waiting for that.

[Vol]

7.

[Eric]

You don't want to let go of the coin.

[Benny]

Why would you, Muffin?

[Esme]

Something's compelling me to not let go.

[Eric]

But as you approach this altar, you see that the spark over your head starts falling in front of your face. And kind of. It's almost like if it had a face, looks at you in the eyes and then enters the altar. And the altar starts glowing with murky light.

[Benny]

Oh, maybe it wasn't the coin.

[Esme]

I think I need Eric to tell me to do it again.

[Muffin]

Do it.

[Eric]

Do it.

[Benny]

Is it the coin or is it the light? I'm confused.

[Muffin]

What does the light in the altar look like?

[Eric]

It's almost like water waves. If you're looking at light underwater, you see, like, these lines kind of washing across the table.

[Vol]

What's happening with the lights from everyone else's heads?

[Eric]

They're still a little bit, like, a few steps behind you, so they're still hanging out above their heads.

[Billy]

I'll approach.

[Benny]

Yeah, let's all approach the different sides of the altar.

[Eric]

Same thing. All your sparks kind of come out in front of you and in front of your faces and then move forward into the altar. And the altar becomes even brighter and brighter. Before you know it, lightning starts striking in the air. Everybody make a dex check.

[Billy]

Oh, no.

[Benny]

That is a six.

[Eric]

Eight, nine, seven. The eight and nine are fine. The six and seven. You're gonna take six, two damage and seven. One damage.

[Benny]

I'm down to two.

[Eric]

All right. And the weirdest thing is that the lightning didn't come from the sky. It came from the lake.

[Muffin]

Whoa.

[Eric]

Like, it shot out and kind of arced right for you all.

[Benny]

But we do now.

[Eric]

You hear a voice emanate from the altar. What is your wish?

[Esme]

Our wish is for you to return the life to Vol. I don't know what we're actually trying to wish for.

[Billy]

I mean, that would be nice. Yeah.

[Benny]

It's a very noble wish.

[Eric]

As you finish saying that, Muffin, do you hear, like, way down in distance, what do the other three of you want to do?

[Benny]

Do we get a wish as well?

[Eric]

What is your wish?

[Benny]

Oh, cool. We all get a wish.

[Billy]

Oh, yeah. Happy day.

[Benny]

I wish for another kitty.

[Vol]

Every campaign, the cat lady of the group.

[Eric]

I am.

[Benny]

Thank you very much. I will take that title.

[Eric]

A tiger appears next to you. It's a big kitty, and it starts purring affectionately.

[Benny]

Hello. I will call you Muffin.

[Muffin]

Wasn't your other cat also called Muffin?

[Benny]

That is correct.

[Esme]

I find this offensive.

[Eric]

Everybody make a dex check again.

[Muffin]

Oh, no.

[Benny]

Do we need to get out of this lightning room? I might die.

[Vol]

10.

[Eric]

13.

[Benny]

Okay, that was a 10.

[Muffin]

6.

[Eric]

Uh. Oh, you're gonna take two more points of damage.

[Muffin]

Uh. Eric falls to the ground.

[Benny]

Oh, no.

[Eric]

Lightning strikes Eric in the chest, and he's thrown into the parapets of this tower on lifeless what do you do?

[Billy]

I want my wish. I want my wish. I wish that my adopted dad, Eric, was back alive.

[Eric]

What happens? What happens, Eric?

[Muffin]

My eyes pop open and I see glowing light around my adopted son, Billy.

[Eric]

And I have my two giant arms.

[Benny]

Come here.

[Billy]

Give me a hug.

[Eric]

Papa.

[Muffin]

Oh, come here, son.

[Benny]

Eric, make your wish. We need to get out of here.

[Eric]

We've all heard of bear hugs, but you've never seen a gorilla hug like.

[Vol]

This from a rat.

[Muffin]

Yeah. I wish I was respected as a legitimate businessman.

[Eric]

See, you feel something appear like a piece of paper in your pocket.

[Muffin]

Oh, I pull it out and look at it.

[Eric]

Says, Eric, tycoon and master of all business.

[Benny]

Yeah.

[Muffin]

One day this will be yours, son. See? Let's get out of here.

[Vol]

Now, as that's happening, Muffin goat says, Esme.

[Esme]

Esme. Esme.

[Eric]

Esme appears and a door opens before you. Just in front of the altar. Yes.

[Esme]

Put us in.

[Vol]

Muffin runs for the door.

[Benny]

Chase it.

[Eric]

I run. I run.

[Benny]

Yeah. You are Esme.

[Muffin]

Same same.

[Benny]

Do not wait for lightning.

[Eric]

You guys start running through the door and clouds start sparking with life all around you. And the lake starts emptying out from water. Just as you close to the door, the whole tower extends with light and water and floods the island below. Luckily, you're on the edge of the lake on the other side.

[Muffin]

It's a shame Vol had to die twice.

[Benny]

Yeah, I was gonna say.

[Eric]

You see, Vol is in a rowboat, like, just trying to get out of there. But he's stuck in a waterless lake now.

[Vol]

Oh, no.

[Benny]

I knew me rotting boat here was gonna be a good idea.

[Billy]

Great goal.

[Eric]

Our tale moves forward into the future. Vol is returned to his father safe and sound and wiser than before. He heeds his father's wisdom much more now having a second chance at life. Miron is a rodentia of his word and then some. Upon hearing the report of your heroic adventure through the Spire and what you've done for his son, he doubles your promised bounty and rewards each of you with 100 silver pieces. The fate of the Riklu gang remains a mystery. Particularly because it's unclear how devastating your dispatching of the three blue cloaked Rodentia was to their faction. However, word has begun circling throughout the region that Pestis, their leader, is looking for the four of you. This maze. Rat Pack.

[Benny]

Oh.

[Eric]

The lake that surrounded Teetardinal's tower is henceforth permanently dried of all water. From what few clues you unearth from the Spire and its secrets, it seems the curious Castromancy that was cast upon the structure has fallen dormant since its destructive demise. But what of its connection to the lake? Or this perplexing path of sparks? Perhaps the door to that enigma shall be unlocked in due time. What becomes of the four of you with your newfound treasures, magic and granted wishes?

[Muffin]

I slowly expand my business empire and corner the market on cheese imports and exports across the land.

[Benny]

Very good. What does Billy do?

[Billy]

I pay for a prosthetic finger for my friend Muffin if she wants. And then I try to follow in my papa's footsteps as a legitimate businessman.

[Eric]

Jesus, what.

[Benny]

Benny would do. Obviously, the one thing you would do with this kind of money. Injection. He buys a farm and he turns it into a animal shelter for cats.

[Billy]

And they're all named Muffin.

[Benny]

All this is. It's called Muffin Land.

[Esme]

I could get behind that.

[Benny]

What about Muffin?

[Vol]

Muffin happily takes the finger that her friend Billy acquires for her.

[Eric]

He gave you the finger?

[Vol]

Yes, unfortunately. So used to it, she attaches it to the hand that already has five fingers so that she has four and six now.

[Eric]

Perfect.

[Benny]

Super hand.

[Vol]

I think that, you know, she's not one to settle down anywhere. So she, you know, lives her life on the road and, I think, wastes away all of her earnings gambling.

[Muffin]

That's the lie.

[Billy]

Classic Muffin.

[Benny]

The best story to end on.

[Eric]

And thus concludes this tale of the Skyblind spire. But is this the last we will hear of our Maze Rat Pack? Or do the fickle fingers of fate have more in store for our furry friends? Perhaps you should become a patron of the Stinky Dragon Tavern to find out.

[Benny]

Yay.

[Esme]

I should have kept the money.

[Eric]

Did you know that you can directly support the show by becoming a [e-mail] Sneaky Dragon. Become a patron and you can get your name shouted out like these lovely folks. Lucas Copley. Victoria, aka Rattlesnake 50. Alicia Hockenberry Glen Stacy, Jacob Witzel. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes access to our patron only Discord Server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and much more. Again, that's patreon.com sneakydragon we can't thank y'all enough for your support that lets us make this show. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and edited by Mike Reisinger. Hey, that's me. And Kathryn Arnold. I know her. A special thanks to Michael Prescott for letting us use his written module. Want to run it on your own? Check it [e-mail] that's T R I L E M M A.com head to patreon.com sneakydragon for all things stinky. And tune in next time for another thrilling episode episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.